


Say You Won't Let Go

by Hichanchen, Smut_Hemingway



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alcohol consumption is not a proper problem solving strategy, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom Chae Hyungwon, Changkyun is the voice of reason, Complete, Enemies to Lovers, Eomma mianhae, Fluff and Smut, Gay Epiphany, HyungWonho - Freeform, Hyungwon is a sassy bitch, Hyungwon loves saying Hoseok's name, I'm crying but my dick is still hard, Lawyer Chae Hyungwon, M/M, Minhyuk is stan twitter, Please support LGBT, Producer Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Schroedinger's Socks, Top Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Wonho is an angel, Wonho's dick is too huge for those illegal pants, although he bottoms Hyungwon is not a woman and not a fucking pushover, because real life is crack, lots of smut, scientifically accurate, the tension is no joke, there's crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 260,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hichanchen/pseuds/Hichanchen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smut_Hemingway/pseuds/Smut_Hemingway
Summary: Shin Hoseok is a famous producer, talented and well off. Everything seems fine until he drinks himself into a situation he can’t handle without help. His friend Lim Changkyun steps in by recommending a lawyer, Chae Hyungwon. Hyungwon is a sassy and arrogant professional with a 100% case-winning ratio, annoyed by people but strangely confused by Shin Hoseok.Struggling not to choke each-other at their first meeting, both men find themselves in situations that fuel the tension until everything escalates.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone prepare, this will be a long ass ride, but it will also be totally worth it. Smut_Hemingway and I (aka. the smut sisters) have written it together, however, not in the usual way. Smut_Hemingway has written Hoseok, whereas I have written Hyungwon, such that both characters have their own internal life which will be presented. It's basically a one author one character story. The whole fic is an escalation of action-reaction scenarios and the intense relationship that is Hyungwonho. As we're both scientists, be sure this is the most scientifically accurate fic you will find out there. We put lots of research into this.
> 
> Both of us hope you'll enjoy and feel free to talk to us on Twitter. 
> 
> Smut_Hemingway: https://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway  
> Hichanchen: https://twitter.com/Hichanchen
> 
>  **ALSO:** For those of you who have been readers for along time, or maybe those who read one work and would love to have it on their bookshelf:  
>  As there have been a lot of requests we have finally created **hard-cover versions** of our books that we ship **worldwide.**  
>  For those of you who are interested, you can find all the information and the ordering form [HERE.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScsezURxqsNaBokxU_nXoiN7sWPeBWVpRZHSgdUSyU7AwIjpA/viewform?c=0&w=1)  
> Say You Won't Let Go is also available now :D
> 
>  
> 
> And if you want to get emotional and into Hyungwonho mood feel free to watch this edit: [HYUNGWONHO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USfvMvXLIYU)  
> 

Hoseok’s body felt like a stone that somebody threw against a wall. He could barely move, eyelids feeling like they were made out of lead, everything bright. Too bright. He probably forgot to close the curtains because he had been drunk as fuck yesterday. _Idiot._

Without any feeling of what time of day his body considered a suitable time to wake up, he tried to find his phone without opening his eyes, avoiding the sun shining through the window like a curse. He grasped to the left and felt something filling out his palm. Well that didn't resemble his phone at all. It was soft and warm. He didn't want to move too much so he glanced left with only one eye opened and met an unexpected pair of blue eyes looking directly at him.

“Well that's what I call a nice ‘good morning’," the owner of the eyes and also the warm breast in his left hand said sheepishly.

_Well fuck. Never drink so much that you don't remember shit._

There was a woman in his bed. Nothing too serious, but he couldn't remember the name. Where did they meet, how did they get there? Well, it was kind of obvious what they must've done after they arrived at his apartment judging by the mess they created. The sheets smelled like sex and a pair of pink lace panties were lying next to the bed. Definitely not his. Either way the situation was extremely uncomfortable and the first thing that came to his mind was a shower. It could buy more time.

“Yeah, good morning….sweetie?” _Smooth Hoseok. Fucking smooth_. “Do you mind if I go take a shower real quick?” What the fuck? Did he call her sweetie? _Really_. His brain was not ready to work properly yet.

“Feel free."

Good. What now? He wanted to stand up but then the realization hit him like a baseball bat. He was hard and he was naked and it was so bright that you could've counted his ass pores if he would have stood up like this.

“Yeah so, did you by chance see my underwear?” Hoseok asked carefully. The unknown woman just started laughing loudly.

“You don't remember? You threw them out of the window yesterday, screaming you're not going to deal with this confinement anymore.”

This was the right time for a face palm. There he was, a naked, hungover, idiot with a boner, who threw 70 bugs Gucci trunks out of the window of his 32 floor apartment and didn't remember the name of the person he brought home.

_Halle-fucking-lujah._

“Ah yeah," is all he managed to squeeze out of his throat fighting the urge to join the Gucci trunks on the plaza in front of the apartment building.

“Didn't you want to shower?" the woman interrupted his thoughts, looking at him and smiling.

 _It's fuck this shit o’clock_ , Hoseok thought, stood up and moved in the direction of the wardrobe where his underwear could save him from more embarrassment. Although he must've looked like a mental patient trying not to present his boner to the woman in his sheets.

What was the thing he was more embarrassed about? His ass tattoo? His boner? The fact he threw underwear out of the window while a person he didn't know watched? Or that he didn't even bother to remember the name? Just everything…

“Boy...are you even real?” Hoseok turned around just to see his guest looking at him like a predator at a whole meal. _No no no no no no, this is not going to happen._ He slipped into a pair of trunks and speed-walked towards the bathroom.

The warm water felt so nice against his aching muscles and the sensitive skin.

The hangover was no joke, he still didn't know what time it was and what exactly happened, a full blackout. He needed to remember though so he closed his eyes and let the water run over his head, heating up his dead brain cells.

He went to a bar with Changkyun and this little shit abandoned him because of some girl who knew about space, so he ended up sitting alone at the bar. Actually he wasn’t really into drinking, he was more of a ‘I drink my expensive as fuck shit at home on my couch’ person, but the bartender recommended this cognac, he really liked, so he ended up drinking. A lot. Too much. But where was the woman from. Did she sit next to him? He couldn't remember.

He sighed, closed his eyes again and the images started raining down on him.

She was sucking him off for what seemed like ages, he ate her out, she had such tender skin and tasted like peaches, he took her from behind, her huge cherry blossom tattoo on the back, he pulled her hair, she begged to fill her up, she came, he came.

Wow. That escalated quickly. Thanks to the vividness of the memories he was hard as fuck, there was absolutely no way he would go out there like this. His hand slid between his legs. He gave his dick a couple of long strokes just to confirm that this was the only way he could handle this situation.

Hoseok tried to avoid making noises although he was sure vocal when it came to sex. He came without creating more embarrassment, dried himself with a fresh towel while burying his head in it for a moment to breathe in the fresh scent, wrapped it over his hips and looked in the mirror. His body was goals and he knew it. He smirked at the muscular reflection in the mirror and opened the door.

She was gone. Hoseok stood in the doorway for a moment trying to process how his guest was able to leave that fast and the more important question, why she left. Not that he was offended by her obviously seeing their encounter as a one night stand because so did Hoseok, but it was indeed a bit suspicious.

Good thing he was able to move on really fast, so he cleaned the place and collected all the stuff that fell from different surfaces while he obviously tried to fuck the soul out of his one night stand yesterday.

He put on pants, a shirt, his leather jacket and sneakers, jumped into the elevator and went to the parking lot. His studio was located 15 minutes by car from his place and he had a personal parking spot which was amazing because he could just park his black Audi S5 in front of it. Hoseok was a workaholic, if he wasn't drinking at bars and taking random women home of course.

The familiar smell was so nice that he immediately felt like home. Actually his studio felt more like home than his own apartment, probably because of the countless hours he spent there producing beats, singing guides and the never-ending editing. He opened a song he was working on when an E-mail notification popped up. He didn't know the sender but he clicked on it anyway. Sometimes it was random producers wanting to collaborate and Hoseok was open for ideas.

“Hello ‘sweetie’. As I told you yesterday, I have a thing for photography (which you probably don't remember), so I might have taken a picture of your beautiful dick. I also might want to publish it somewhere as your pretty face is on it too. What do you think? Should I? Let’s think about how we both can take advantage of this situation.”

There was an attachment. Hoseok clicked on it. 20 seconds passed and he slowly buried his head in his hands pulling at his blonde hair while the frustration washed over him. He felt so powerless and lost. He typed a message to his best friend Changkyun with shaky fingers while contemplating whether he should just chop his hands off so he wouldn’t be able to lift a glass of alcohol anymore.

The phone rang after what felt like an eternity. “Are you alive bro? Did you have a good time with the hot cherry blossom girl?” This sarcastic little shit, Hoseok’s whole life was flashing before his eyes, his job that he loved more than anything was on the line, his reputation, dignity and all of that important stuff and this dick was making fun of him...

“Dude I'm fucked.“

“Yes that's my boy, I knew you scored!” Changkyun laughed like a witch.

“Changkyun I want to cry right now, I have a huge problem," Hoseok mumbled. It was silent for a couple of seconds.

“You didn't use a condom? How old are you, 12?” Changkyun started laughing again, oblivious of his pain.

“Listen this is really serious and I have no idea how to handle this okay? This woman...wait let me forward the message to you, one second." Hoseok clicked the forward button and waited for the clicks on the other side of the line.

“Okay dude what the fuck,” a pregnant pause followed in which Changkyun took a deep breath. “But man your dick is indeed huge." Changkyun sounded really surprised which was unusual, but he focused on the unimportant things.

“Please help me." One could hear the desperation in Hoseok’s voice and tears already formed in his eyes just waiting to drop down on his keyboard.

“Okay hold up boy, I have this lawyer friend, he's a dick, but he's a fabulous, competent and _discrete_ dick. He might be willing to help. It's late now, so I'll call you back when I talked to him. Don't worry and don't even think about crying.“

Hoseok gulped down the tears, brought out a squeezed okay and hung up.

 

***

 

Long fingers closed around the thick fabric of a plain dark blue tie as Hyungwon fixed the knot for the last time. Good looks needed time and effort and everybody who thought differently could shove their opinion up an opening of their choice. Hyungwon had to stand up at ass o'clock for a court hearing of a case he knew was won before he even got there.

He checked out his face for the fifth time to make sure that the time of day wasn't visible on his facial features, before sorting his notes into an even cleaner pile and placing them inside his custom made leather briefcase. Part of winning a case is intimidating the shit out of his enemy and Hyungwon sure as fuck knew how it was done.

Fixing two strands of hair that moved away from their designated spot behind his ear, he slipped into his polished black oxford shoes and slipped a sleek pair of glasses on. He wore contacts so the glasses were absolutely pointless, but his real glasses would have made him look like a nerd instead of intellectually intimidating. And looking intellectually intimidating was the first step to success.

As if waking up early as fuck for a pointless court case wasn't enough, the annoying notes of “Pop Princess” by Click Five ripped through the long hallway, pushing of the walls and screeching along Hyungwon's eardrums. He was going to punch the last piece of pizza out of Minhyuk the next time he saw him. “I swear to god,” he pressed out while looking for his abandoned cell phone. There was only one person calling his private phone at 6 in the fucking morning.

“Changkyun I swear if it's not important I'm going to serve your mom your balls for breakfast.” A nervous chuckle on the other side of the line was indicative enough to force a sigh out of Hyungwon.

“It's, kinda very important! You basically have to save a life.” Changkyun sounded like it was everything but saving someone's life but at least he tried. E for effort.

Hyungwon attempted to remember the last thing Changkyun was up to that could have gotten him in a shitty situation. “Did the space chick you hooked up with have a dick?” Changkyun roughly coughed up some liquid on the other side.

“Dude, that was kind of disgusting.”

“Don't shit yourself. You would have totally fucked her anyway if she'd actually be extraterrestrial.” Hyungwon chuckled imagining the spaced out look on Changkyun’s face, dreaming about fucking the brains out of an alien girl.

“Fair enough,” Changkyun quickly admitted, without getting to the fucking point. Hyungwon glanced at his watch, showing that it was 5 minutes past you-should-leave-your-house time.

Hyungwon's obvious fumbling with his suit case and the demonstrative bang of the door falling shut got Changkyun to talk.“I'm sure you must be busy but my friend needs some help.”

“I'm not helping your friend sue their exes Changkyun. We talked about this.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes at the memory of the time he had to help some random girl sue her ex because Changkyun had the hots for her.

“It's nothing like that I swear!” He sounded honest enough. “It's kind of funny actually.”

“Not sure what could be funnier than your face.” Changkyun’s annoyed whine was fucking worth it.

“Well, you know,” the smile on the other boy’s lips could be heard through the phone. “It's actually about a dick pic.”

 _Fucking great._ Hyungwon was going to fight a case about a fucking dick pic.

“It better be a good one,” he murmured before sliding into his BMW and buckling up.

“You _bet._ ”

 

***

 

It wasn't the first time Hoseok slept in his studio. He had a couch and a blanket so he didn't feel uncomfortable at all. _Sure_ he didn't, considering the fact that he nearly threw up the Ramen he inhaled half an hour ago, just at the thought of going back home.

It was still dark when he opened his eyes. The silver cartier watch showed him that it was about 5:30 in the morning, but he wasn't tired at all. It was the opposite, he couldn't fall back asleep because he kept thinking about all this mess that his life slippery sloped into at the moment.

Well if that wasn't the world record for ‘the fastest reaction to a phone call’. Hoseok picked up after it rang for 0.01 seconds, mainly because he was staring at it for the past hour contemplating how he could handle the disappearance of his dignity if the Changkyun’s lawyer thing didn't work. He couldn't trust just anyone because his name was known in the industry, so asking his own lawyer would be hard, especially for this kind of thing. He could clearly imagine Namjoon’s facial expression, staring at him over the frame of his glasses, being intellectual as fuck, shaming him for doing such a stupid thing. Moreover he didn't want more people to see his dick than necessary.  
_  
_ _What is this situation anyway_?

“So you better thank your genius friend who saved your ass today. You fucking owe me. You'll meet up with the lawyer today at 8 because he has a case beforehand. But please beware of your language, don't be late and don't get sulky. This one is a special friend.” Changkyun changed from boasting to being obviously nervous while speaking, which was very surprising considering Changkyun was a self confident ass.

“Oh okay thank you so much! I really hope it works out. You sure I can trust him with this?”

Hoseok was still a little shaky and wanted it to be over so he could concentrate on making music again. He threw his computer screen a longing look. The current dance track he was working on was half-way blocked by the email that was ruining his life.

“100%, just don't annoy him otherwise he might slap you or poison your food with something that makes your dick shrink.” Changkyun sounded dead serious. Hoseok didn’t have the energy to deal with bullshit.

“That shit doesn’t even exist”

“Hoseok,” Changkyun held a dramatic pause. “He’ll make it.” Then he just laughed and hung up.

 

***

 

When Hyungwon walked through the broad mahogany doors, listening to the sound of a crying woman in the background, he felt a mixture of pride and annoyance. On the one hand he had won the case, just as he expected. However, on the other hand it had taken four hours longer than intended and his client had spent three of those four hours crying her heart out.

Usually that wouldn’t be a problem since Hyungwon bathed in his competence on a daily basis, but since she was his client he was forced to calm her down and use his charm to appeal to her. And Hyungwon disliked smiling at people that weren’t of interest to him. Unfortunately that description fit to about 90% of the times he smiled. However there were also exceptions such as Son Hyunwoo, a judge that Hyungwon frequently worked with but wasn't particularly close with. Every smile he threw that guy was deserved. Even now he smiled back when the other walked past, waving at him on the way to another hearing.

Rubbing his aching jaw Hyungwon moved into the brightly lit hallway on his left to leave through the rear exit of the court. Better disappear without too much fuss than stay and talk to reporters repeatedly asking the same questions. Hyungwon shuddered at the thought of that one reporter constantly stalking him and asking for his number instead of something remotely professional and fitting her job. Maybe he should sue her. He shook his head at the idea of more unnecessary work. Too bothersome and not worth the effort.

At the sight of his white BMW 6 he released an honest sigh of relief. As Changkyun, the little fuck, convinced him to see that embarrassing friend of his, he couldn’t just go home, roll up on his couch in about three layers of cashmere blankets and read a book in peace. No, of course he had to plaster his professional face back on and actually talk to a poor excuse of a human instead. Hyungwon’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

The trip home took less than 7 minutes, 6:35 to be precise, but still Hyungwon felt tired. The black tailored suit he wore was perfectly fitting for the occasion of a court hearing, but not for the first meeting with a client. It was important to leave a good impression of trust and reliability. Hyungwon could easily make a woman trust him while wearing jogging pants and holding a knife, but when it came to men they were more suspicious. Especially when they saw his face. His fucking beautiful face. A smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth at the thought.

Hyungwon slipped the suit jacket off of his shoulders, throwing it on his bed. The suit pants followed quickly and the heap of clothing was topped with his dark blue tie and silk shirt. He could clean that up some other time. _The latest when you get home and want to sleep on it_ , his brain helpfully supplied. Opening his walk-in wardrobe Hyungwon let his long fingers glide from one suit to the next, assessing their trust and reliability effect on a typical male.

When his fingers passed a bright red suit, he was just about to add it the the side of rejection until his gaze fell on the plain black silk shirt he threw on the bed. _Fucking perfect_.

Hyungwon threw the silk shirt back on his shoulders, added the red suit pants and jacket and checked out his reflection. The effect still needed some work. After putting his oxfords back on and leaving the top button of the shirt open,abandoning the tie, his lips spread in a pleased smile. Definitely not the typical lawyer look, but still confident as fuck. He added a black tissue to his suit jacket, giving a nice contrast on the vibrant red and fitting the the color of his shirt.

He mastered the look for the hearing, but something was still missing for the client meet-up. Luckily Hyungwon’s dilemma was solved by the beautiful pair of glasses lying in front of his suitcase, probably fallen to the floor when he dropped it to the ground tiredly. Slipping them on, the familiar feeling of relief at having reached ‘attractive’ rushed through his veins. Only a few pats at his lips to increase the circulation and red color separated him from ‘perfection’. Nobody could beat him at the art of fashion. No-fucking-one.

With a last practised fake-smile at his mirror-image he grabbed his suitcase, closed the door with a tender click and walked over to his car. At this point he was already curious about what kind of famous person Changkyun would be friends with. Especially one that ends up getting their dick publicised. ' _Not if I can help it of course,'_  Hyungwon mentally pointed out to himself.

 

***

 

Hoseok jumped in his car after finishing the beat of the song he was currently working on, buckled up and thought about the upcoming meeting with the mental lawyer.  
Honestly speaking he didn't even know who the mental one was. Probably Changkyun.

The thought of discussing his embarrassing one night stand with a stranger filled his insides with dread, fingers clamming around the steering wheel. He started the engine and the steady sound of 350 horsepowers calmed down his nerves - at least a little. He stepped on the gas pedal, the fall air from the open window blew on his face and his thoughts drifted away.  
  
The door opened, he kicked his sneakers in the corner and threw his leather jacket on the floor. The smell that met Hoseok’s nostrils was a painful reminder of all the things that went wrong yesterday. After some consideration the leather jacket was hung on a hook and the sneakers were stored in the shoe rack. He may have thrown his underwear out of the window but he wasn't a pig after all.  
  
The clock said 18:30 which meant he had one hour to get ready to talk to some creepy stranger about his dick. _Amazing_. This whole situation reminded him of those hidden camera pranks he saw on TV when he was young.  
  
A quick look in the mirror. Shit, everything was a mess, those clothes and the hair.  
He ruined it during his phone call with Changkyun and sleeping on the leather couch afterwards. He looked like a squirrel that survived a nuclear blast. Fuck. There was no way he could go meet up with a lawyer looking like that. What was he even thinking?

Nothing! Of course not, if he had been thinking he wouldn't have to show a picture of his dick to random people in the first place. _Idiot._  
  
He decided to take a shower. It was not only something he did because he didn't want to be a pig, but also something that helped him to sort out his thoughts and become a decent human being.  
  
He observed himself in the huge mirror in his bedroom after doing about 30 squats, 25 pushups, 25 pull ups and taking a too hot shower. Hoseok’s mood and his visuals were back to their natural state.

The shower was indeed hot. A soft blush was covering his cheeks which made him look extremely seductive. Elegant facial features, plump, moist lips. He shaved so his skin felt tender when he slowly moved his hand along the jawline while lowering his intense gaze.

Lean, defined muscles, apple shaped butt covered by a flower tattoo, muscular thick thighs, a glimpse between the legs, yes, he was indeed huge.  
  
No false pride but he looked like sex on legs and he knew it too well. Too bad the lawyer wasn't a woman. Not that he prefered women, but his last gay hookup was two years ago.

Either way this guy was probably a stuck up, ugly, straight as fuck person with a beer belly jerking off to embarrassing Law TV shows, which wouldn't be surprising considering Changkyun’s type of friends, no offense.  
  
Hoseok decided today was a back-to-black day. He slipped into black armani trunks, zipped up his favourite black skinny jeans that were hugging his thighs and ass in the best way possible, smoothed the wrinkles on his carefully chosen black silk shirt which, to be honest, had a shamelessly deep neckline offering a good view of sharp collarbones and the beginnings of his worked out chest. But Hoseok forgot what shame was. How could he even think about shame after throwing his underwear on the Main Plaza. In addition he was going to show that guy a picture of his dick. Might just as well point out that the dick wasn’t the only good thing on the platter.  
  
He went for the Oxford shoes, they looked so good with his outfit and the contrast between the black clothes, the white skin and the blonde hair was mesmerizing. He was mesmerizing. “Let’s do this Wonho-ya.” He smiled at the mirror and nonchalantly glanced at his freshly put on fancy Patek Philippe watch.  
  
_20:05_  
  
“Shit- _fuck_. What the fuck argh Hoseok you _fucking idiot._ ”  
  
The random screaming and cursing didn't help, as he was already five minutes late and he needed at least 10 minutes by car to arrive at the restaurant the lawyer dude suggested.  
He jumped into the elevator and went down the 32 floors while cursing like a marine officer. He was never this fast in his life, opened the car, started the engine, stepped on the pedal, _thank you Audi_.  
  
Life decided to fuck him up, that was obvious. He couldn't find a parking spot nearby so he had to leave the car on the pedestrian walk like a shithead and run towards the restaurant for five whole minutes.  
  
Finally. Hoseok was panting, sweat formed on his forehead, his neck and his chest. He pushed the door open, took two large steps into the fancy restaurant and stopped. His eyes moved in an attempt to find the fat, ugly, straight guy, who would hopefully save his ass.

Hoseok tried to find someone fitting his image but there were only couples at the restaurant and this one model-like dressed and also model-like looking guy in a red suit, holding a glass of wine and looking at him with a disgusted expression on his face.

 

***

 

A mild throbbing was spreading inside Hyungwon’s skull, as he watched the clock hands move continuously past the 8 o’clock point. He had booked one of his favourite restaurants to ensure good service and the possibility to dress cleverly, just to wait for five minutes without anyone resembling a friend of Changkyun nor someone famous. Not like Hyungwon knew what Changkyun’s friends looked like because that boy befriended every-fucking-thing. Last time he brought a turtle home telling Hyungwon it resembled him. If choking wouldn’t have been beneath him Hyungwon would have done it.

Tardiness was generally acceptable to a certain degree and made him look more professional and reliable, compared to whoever the person he was waiting for was. Changkyun hadn’t even given him a name. How was he supposed to identify him? ‘Are you the guy with the dick pic problem?’ Hyungwon chuckled at the thought. If anything, it would embarrass the shit out of his client. He took an intense sip from his glass of Blanc de Noir and swirled the liquid around in a smooth and practised fashion.

When the long arrow on the clock reached ten past eight Hyungwon considered leaving. After all being more than ten minutes late bordered on rude. Furthermore after straightening his back and giving his most professional gaze every time the door opened, Hyungwon was getting tired and his empty wine glass also called for attention. Not to mention the funny look the waiter threw him each time his whole composure switched at the entry of another patron.

Throughout his whole career Hyungwon had never met a client that came more than ten minutes late for an appointment. Hyungwon himself ensured to enter the restaurant at 20:00 sharp, showing reliability while not seeming eager or desperate for the job. Perfect to bring across the feeling of professionalism and independence of the case. That way he seemed powerful and like a desirable lawyer. In addition it raised his pay significantly.

Polished oxford shoe tapping the tile floor, Hyungwon gave up on waiting and decided to get blissfully tipsy at 20:14. If the guy wasn’t going to come it meant less pretence for Hyungwon and especially less work. Changkyun didn’t mention whether Hyungwon would have to reduce his hourly rate for the guy, but less work was still pleasant considering how fully booked his schedule was. Ordering another glass of wine, he sipped on the liquid and relaxed his features.

When a tall woman in a red dress, and glittering gucci high heels entered the restaurant he didn’t even bother glancing her way. Legs crossed comfortably and leaning against the black leather couch he moved his head back and took another sip of the expensive fluid. Damn this wine was better than sex. Closing his eyes Hyungwon genuinely enjoyed himself. Relaxed after the case, sipping on a glass of his second favourite wine (unfortunately they didn’t have the first) and looking fabulous. Changkyun should have joined him and told him more about that space hook up of his. Boy seemed whipped when he mentioned the girl last time.

The loud noise of the glass door hitting the the wall brought Hyungwon out of his happy place. Groaning quietly and opening his left eye he looked over to the entrance. A guy with some of the blondest hair Hyungwon had ever seen was standing in the middle of the entry, breathing heavily and looking ridiculously out of place. All patrons of the restaurant were staring at the guy. Poor soul, probably embarrassed.

Hyungwon took another sip of his wine. The guy seemed shorter than him and apparently dressed to impress. It wouldn’t have been hard to check out his pec muscles considering how low his shirt was cut. Hyungwon suppressed a pang of envy at the muscular build of the man. Skin even lighter than his hair and contrasting black outfit sticking to his body, he looked like a celebrity. The few sweat drops glistening on his forehead added to the look, topped off with a neat pair of oxfords peeking out under the tight pants.

 _Oh fuck_ , Hyungwon thought as soon as his eyes fell on the pair of oxfords. If there was something that made him uncomfortable, then it was people wearing the exact same stuff he was wearing. Usually he wouldn’t worry because he’d look better in it but the guy was fucking buff. He could probably break Hyungwon like a stick. That is until the lawyer opened that madly talented mouth of his, of course.

While Hyungwon was leaning back and outwardly peaceful and internally troubled, staring at the intruder, said intruder apparently finished savoring the restaurant with his searching gaze and settled on Hyungwon. Staring.  
  
_Oh_.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned we are going to update it regularly as most is already written. Shit is about to go down.

Maybe the lawyer sent his model-like assistant to meet him. That must have been the case, because there was not even one empty table and the only person who would fit was the annoyed-looking suit guy. Hoseok doubted that the lawyer would take his four kids along to a client meeting. He walked towards the fancy looking guy but had to start the conversation wisely, to make sure it was the right person, because otherwise Hoseok would've engaged in a conversation about dick pics with a total stranger.  
  
_No thanks._  
  
“Do you by chance know Lim Changkyun?”  
  
The expression on the other guys face still looked disgusted, mouth slightly open and spreading to the sides. Well nevermind then. The lawyer probably left because Hoseok was fucking late.  
  
“So, you are the person with a thing for genital photography?” The dude raised an eyebrow in question, but a smirk played around his lips, as if he already knew the answer to the question and just wanted to rile Hoseok up a little.  
  
“And who are you? That lawyer’s hot clerk substitute?” Hoseok was a little sulky but remembered to behave because he was the one with the exposed genitals after all. The hot clerk substitute raised his eyebrows even higher and appeared to take a break to compose himself, before the smirk returned full force.

“I’m the person who’s about to get you out of the gigantic pile of shit you apparently fucked yourself into.”  
He was right, Hoseok had to give him that. So he was the lawyer. Holy flying shit where did Changkyun get friends like that from? And why wasn’t he Hoseok’s friend? He breathed in and out remembering he was not there to make friends.

“Well let's talk about business then. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. I’m Shin Hoseok, also known as Wonho. I'm a music producer. Thank you for agreeing on meeting me, it was a little hard to discuss that with my own lawyer, as he handles only the plagiarism cases related to my productions.”

 _And he’s judgemental as fuck and will never forget stuff like that_.

Hoseok shifted thinking about Namjoon face if he told him, but smiling with one of his prettiest smiles.  
  
The switch to a professional topic seemed welcome as the lawyer nodded and fumbled around in his bag, before placing a notebook and a montblanc pen on the table, moving the half empty glass of wine to the side with a longing look. Interestingly he avoided looking at Hoseok, until he had opened the pen and written the date on the first page in the ugliest handwriting Hoseok had ever seen in his life. It was worse than his three year old sister’s foot writing - if he had one.

“Chae Hyungwon. I’m specialized in blackmailing cases among others and as I know that Changkyun never mentions the important stuff I have a 100% winning record. You’re in good hands. Now I’ll need you to answer a few questions for me. Some of which might be uncomfortable. Firstly: I need to see the dick pic.” He twirled the pen in his hand twice, as if emphasizing the words.  
  
Hoseok choked on his saliva. He couldn't breathe for what seemed like an eternity. He was in panic as he began looking for something to drink and grabbed the first thing he saw, which happened to be fancy lawyer Chae’s semi empty wineglass. He drained it.

 _Well that was close_.

Hoseok caught his breath and slowly raised his head just to find himself looking at a familiar disgusted expression. Fancy Chae was such a good nickname for this guy.

The lawyer had followed his movements throughout the whole endeavor and narrowed his eyes in distaste when his wine glass left Hoseok’s lips. “Inhaling my wine doesn’t make it any less necessary to see the pic.” He stretched out his hand, making it hard to refuse.  
  
Hoseok thought of just shaking the hand to annoy Fancy Chae, but he remembered to calm the fuck down. He tried to pull his phone out of the jeans pocket but had to stand up, because the pants were too tight. When he finally managed he caught the lawyers gaze somewhere next to his crotch.  
Well that's what they were here for. Pictures of genitals. Of course he was allowed to look, besides the pants didn't even allow the slightest bit of imagination to be honest.  
  
“I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t disturb public peace with your semi-state of undress. Do these even qualify as pants?” This asshat just insulted his perfectly fine pants. “The dick pic, please.” The other was obviously pretty eager to see his dick, who was he to refuse.  
  
“Yes I’m trying okay?” Hoseok looked through his emails and opened the attachment. Fuck, this was so embarrassing. The worst thing was actually that one could totally tell that it was him.  
Hoseok sighed and handed the phone to Chae.

Taking it carefully and clicking on the screen to bring it back to life, eyes widened comically while staring at Hoseok’s dick filling out 1/4 of the picture in front of him. The lawyer took a breath, preparing to say something but stopped again. After another glance at the screen to Hoseok’s utter embarrassment he looked up, staring him right in the face. “I'm impressed, she even took the time to photoshop it. I guess we can sue for defamation and altering reality at the same time.” He looked almost bored.  
  
“What do you mean photoshop?” Hoseok whipped the phone out of Fancy Chae’s hand to look at the picture in all detail. Everything looked fine to him. He looked at the lawyer’s bored face in disbelief.  
  
“Okay Mr. Chae. Tell me what exactly is your point here?”  
  
Eyes moved slowly from the phone in Hoseok’s hands downwards to his crotch and at the same speed back up again. “Nevermind. Was there any message attached to the picture?”  
  
“Do you want to see it?” Hoseok looked directly into the lawyer’s eyes and his lips formed a tiny little smirk.

Wide brown eyes stared right back. “Yes.” An intake of breath. “The message.”

“Well that’s too bad. But let me show you what she wrote.” Hoseok smiled in the most innocent way possible and opened the message.

“Considering how eager you seem to share your endowment I am not surprised at the situations you get yourself into. Just keep in mind that I do not have the wish to acquaint myself any further with your genitals than I already have Mr. Shin.” After pointing that out he read the message in detail, while leaving some unreadable scribbles in his notebook, looking professional.  
“As uncomfortable as it is, but I will forward the whole conversation to my business e-mail so I have the evidence to plan out the next steps.”  
  
“Oh I am sorry if I offended you, I just thought you might want to make sure how a proper exemplar looks like, considering you didn't realize the picture was real. And please feel free to do whatever seems reasonable to you Mr. Chae. Thank you so much for helping me out.“ Hoseok smiled.

Fancy Chae furrowed his eyebrows, looking like he was seconds away from jumping Hoseok’s throat, pressing the last puff of air out of him and finished off with the fakest smile Hoseok had ever seen, rather resembling a grimace.

“The next steps will be that I’ll analyse the situation and see whether it will be sufficient to communicate with the woman in question or to immediately take this to court for blackmail. The course of action will depend on the response I get and the speed with which I will get that response. For all of the mentioned I will need contact details of the woman in question.” He sighed as if he regretted his next words.

“And yours for that matter. Furthermore you are under _no condition whatsoever_ allowed to contact her yourself, understood?”  
Hoseok pretended to listen to the monologue while fumbling with his ear piercing.  
“Just type in your number and call me. You are still holding my phone anyway.” He tried his best to fake his interest while it was extremely hard not to look at the lawyer’s carefully picked clothes. His body was indeed that of a model. He was tall. Taller than Hoseok, but also much thinner. The slightly opened silk shirt gained his interest. He imagined what he would look like under that. His gaze went down to his pants...

 _Ooookay Hoseok that's enough, calm the fuck_ _down_.

He thought about the disgusting smell at his apartment and it worked.

“Mr. Shin, if you don’t pay attention I’m dropping this case like that girl your ass.”  
  
“Okay but how old are you?” Hoseok’s mouth was indeed fast.

A look of surprise passed over the constant appeal of boredom on the lawyer's face until it returned right back. “And that is relevant how?”  
  
“Just to understand why you are being disrespectful as fuck?” Hoseok pulled one of his intimidating gazes and tilted his head to the side. That seemed to leave an impression because the look of wonder and possibly of regret seemed to stay this time. The lawyer busied himself with his notebook, placing it back into his suit case, as if ignoring Hoseok on purpose until he found the motivation to answer. “Considering that we are in a lawyer-client relationship age is completely irrelevant. As long as you keep your part of the deal I am keeping mine. Now that we mention it I am expecting 350 dollars for this meeting until next week and after that 200 dollars per hour for my work. I will forward you my details.”  
  
“Okay I’m absolutely fine with that. You will inform me about the next steps right?”

A quick nod answered his question. “I will ask all following questions over the phone, so please try to answer in due time to avoid delaying the process.” Fancy Chae looked hot when he was talking about his job. Hoseok had to give him that.  
  
“Okay, I’m going then, have work to do. Thanks a lot for your time I really appreciate that.” Hoseok stood up while looking directly into the lawyer's eyes. A smirk formed on his lips. Why was he like that? He reached out to say goodbye to Fancy Chae but this dick just put Hoseok’s phone into the offered hand.  
  
“Thanks.” How could he be annoying and hot at the same time? It was a mystery.

 

***

 

Watching his client’s broad back retreat through the entrance door Hyungwon took a deep breath to calm his nerves. His empty glass of wine was laughing at him from Shin’s side of the table, mocking him like the person touching it last did. How _dare_ he.

If there was something that he hadn't expected then it was the sheer rudeness with which Mr. Shin Huge-seok addressed him. The guy was so cocky about his dick (pun intended) that he even dared to insult Hyungwon's manhood. Although it had absolutely nothing to do with the case, or their conversation, or basically _anything_. Had Hyungwon not wished to be professional, he would have loved to choke the other with the exact body part that he pointlessly insulted. _Fucking rude._

His left hand closed around the leather armrest and pressed down to get some of the piled up tension out of his limbs. Yes, sure, the guy was attractive. Hyungwon had no problem admitting that. Credit given where credit is due, but no matter the looks at least _a hint_ of decency has to be kept during a professional conversation.

 _And_ Hyungwon had to step down during the exchange. He wasn't even able to insult him back to save his pride. Repeating that ‘the smarter individual steps back during a fight’ like a mantra only calmed him down enough to pay for his wine and leave the lovely establishment. His presence was acknowledged with an honest smile from the owner.

Unfortunately he had already agreed to take care of the case and he never went back on his word. In addition no matter how much he insulted Changkyun he wouldn't want to reject a favour for the kid. He was a good guy and always there when you needed him, whether it was a ridiculous amount of pizza when he was down or a skilled pair of hands ready to massage every knot out of Hyungwon's back.

“Shin Hoseok, huh,” he murmured on the way to his car, checking how the name felt on his tongue. Shouldn't be too hard to say during court and sounded intimidating enough. Better than that one time he had a foreign guy with a last name that sounded really similar to ‘asshat’ and the judge couldn't keep his shit together, laughing uncontrollably and making Hyungwon's arguments sound ridiculous. Of course he won anyway.

Starting the engine and smiling to himself at all his successful cases, Hyungwon felt motivated that this one wouldn't be much different. He just hoped that Huge-seok could keep it in his pants for the duration of the case and wouldn't end up doing anything stupid. He seemed like the typical take-you-home-once-and-fuck-you-twice guy. Nothing Hyungwon couldn't deal with though.

His mood was elevated even further when he saw a female police officer placing a vibrant red ticket onto the front window of an Audi S5, parked as only a total asshole could have. “Well deserved indeed,” he said with a grin and sped up.

If there was something that Hyungwon liked about his new client then it was his way of dressing. It was well thought through and even if ‘fuck boy’ wasn't what Hyungwon usually went for when it came to clothes the other man could pull it off. He was buff enough and his face was nice enough for it. Okay, he looked good, credit where credit was due. Now if he only wouldn't be so cocky...literally.

Hyungwon sighed opening the front door of his suite and filled some water with ice cubes into a big glass. Draining it in a few gulps the day seemed much less tiring. Now there wasn't much keeping him from a relaxed evening in a few blankets. Thinking about how his manhood was insulted by someone with a monster dick almost didn't hurt anymore.

When his body was surrounded by two blankets and his suit left on one of the hangers in his wardrobe he felt good enough to let his mind wander. Of course it was childish to feel offended but he couldn't really help it. He didn't dislike the other man as much as he thought. It was strange but the bickering was genuinely enjoyable. Not many were able to talk back to Hyungwon once he got his sassy on, but Shin Hoseok did. Without problems and with a delay of a few seconds.

Hyungwon was impressed and curious about how a mere one night stand could have gotten such a confident man out of his comfort zone. He was going to destroy that woman and make her wish that dick had never entered her in the first place. And Shin Huge-seok was going to say thank you and mean every-fucking-word. He smiled to himself, sinking further into the blankets and chuckled.

 

***

 

Hoseok spent ten minutes begging the police officer not to tow away his car. As the officer was a young woman and Hoseok was a fucking tease, it went pretty well.  
  
He arrived at the parking garage but the thought of going home ruined his mood immediately so he decided to stay in the car a little longer. The headache was no joke, he leaned back on his brown leather car seat and thought about the complicated situation and this sassy guy he had to deal with starting now. Actually Hoseok didn't like people much. He had only a few friends he regularly hung out with and new 'acquaintances' normally stayed for a night.  
  
The good thing was, that Fancy Chae seemed to be very competent, so there was hope that Hoseok’s career wouldn't be over because of his genitals.

Chae Hyungwon was a really interesting person. Hoseok caught himself thinking about every single detail of their conversation. How the other reacted when he looked at him, how his lips and his eyes moved. His lips were mesmerizing. At least when he didn't pull that disgusted expression of his. Hoseok still couldn't believe this asshole questioned his dick size during their first encounter. Not that it was a normal thing to show someone your dick at the first meeting, but Hoseok was extremely competitive. He still thought about how to shove his genitals in the lawyer's face to make him realize that’s exactly what he looks like. He would pay to see the expression on that beautiful face.  
  
Thinking about it, Hoseok remembered how the lawyer nervously scribbled in his notebook while Hoseok looked at him like an intimidating predator after pointing out he was disrespectful. His body started tingling.

 _Oh no. This is not a good moment for the gay feels Hoseok_.  
  
Hoseok thought about those carefully picked clothes that complimented the lawyer's body, the glasses he wore and the look the lawyer gave him when he asked whether he wanted to see his dick. He was so thin. Hoseok loved it. He loved it so much to be the strong and masculine one. He could probably nudge him to mars with one push. His face looked as if someone photoshopped it on the go. Huge eyes, sharp jawline and those lips. Man. The image of those lips around his dick hit Hoseok like a baseball bat directly in the face. He tried to ignore it but it was too late. The bulge in his illegal pants became visible and it was hard to think about anything else. Hoseok imagined how this beautiful face would look like if Chae Hyungwon lost control. It would be his favourite thing in the world. Hoseok knew that. He was whipped.  
  
He went up to the 32nd floor, hiding his erection behind a gucci bag with those two rabbit key tags on it. How did he manage to get into those embarrassing situations all the time?  
The lock clicked open, Hoseok threw his bag on the floor and threw himself on the bed after getting rid of all those fancy clothes and the tight as fuck pants. Damn those pants were not made for people with any kind of sexual drive.  
  
He laid on the bed while thinking about something disgusting to make the erection go away. The last thing Hoseok wanted to do was jerking off to the image of his lawyer.  
  
Long fingers. His fingers were so long and lean, he wondered what it would feel like if he touched Hoseok with those. Hoseok’s hand went over his defined abs. Shit. When did he even pay attention to all those body parts, he should’ve listened to the boring stuff Chae was telling him. How would those lips feel on his neck? _You will never fucking know Hoseok, just jerk the fuck off to some bouncing boobs and get over it._  
  
He became mentally disabled in a matter of minutes. That was it. He couldn't think about anything but Chae Hyungwon and his fucking body parts, preferably in interaction with his own body parts. Giving up, he imagined those beautiful plump red lips around his dick, moving slowly, then faster. Big eyes looking up at him. Hoseok grabbing his hair, breathing his name, Chae Hyungwon’s low voice moaning over his dick.  
  
Hoseok came so hard he almost spaced out for two minutes.  
  
He had to get over it as soon as possible. There was no way this would happen again. This was a one time thing. This means nothing. I hate him. Hoseok tried to convince himself while washing away the remains of his orgasm under the extremely hot shower.

The ringtone disrupted the welcomed silence. Hoseok reached for his phone and sighed at the familiar name on the screen.

“Yes.”

“Is that how you are supposed to greet someone who saved you from a major embarrassment? So how was it?” Changkyun sounded blatantly amused.

“Sorry. I'm really tired, this whole day was a giant mess.” Hoseok found his temple and massaged it gently with his fingers.

“Oh no, did Hyungwon drop your pathetic ass? What did you do?” Changkyun went from amused to scared really fast.

“I didn't do anything, I'm not pathetic and Fancy Chae didn't drop me. I didn't know this kind of sassy, disrespectful person would even exist. But yeah, he will take care of it. Honestly Changkyun-ah where do you even find friends like that? Were you into getting choked and stepped on when you were young? This guy seems totally like the type to get hard at stuff like that.” Hoseok decided to burden Changkyun with his sexual frustration.

“Thank God he didn't drop you. I know him from high school, we were in a dance crew together back then, but I ended up being a scientist and he became a lawyer.” Changkyun sighed.

“Believe me, the only thing Hyungwon gets hard at is work. Preferably if it involves destroying people in court with that sassy mouth of his.”

“This guy can dance? Dude you must be mistaken. Are you sure?” Hoseok had an absolute weak gay spot for dancers. His last gay hook-up was a dancer. Man that guy was a living dream. Funnily enough his name was Hoseok too. He drifted away in his memories when Changkyun’s warning voice disturbed the pleasant images.

“Dude, you better not thirst over him, he'll chew you up and shit you against the wall. Don't mess with him. Just let him handle the case and listen well.“

Hoseok hated listening. He also hated being underestimated. His competitiveness was no joke. _Challenge accepted_. Besides Changkyun didn't see the slight signs of embarrassment in Chae’s behaviour when Hoseok was obviously flirting with him.

"Thirsting? My dick was so disgusted it fit into those black illegal pants we bought at D&G last month." That was a lie, but Changkyun didn't realize.

“Okay, whatever, keep me updated. By the way, there's a little party tomorrow, I'll be meeting my high school friends at this gin bar, do you want to come? Just don't touch any alcohol.” Who was he to give him advice? Seriously.

“Yeah whatever mom. Talk to you later.”

Hoseok hung up and took his laptop. He tried to come up with new ideas for a song to keep himself distracted from images of plump red lips that were uncontrollably crossing his mind.

Again.

 

***

 

When Hyungwon entered his office the next day and sorted the files on the dark brown wood of his desk, he was surprised that Changkyun still hadn't called him. The thought that the other was close to both of them and possibly Huge-seok was the first person he called, since he was more desperate, crossed his mind. Smarter to take care of the house that's burning than prevent setting fire to the neighbouring one.

He moved away a folder with the recently solved divorce case he was in charge of and his eyes settled on his black leather notebook. It was lying innocently next to his empty starbucks cup. The sight reminded Hyungwon of the fact that he avoided taking care of the case as he promised and that time was running out the longer he waited. Without an answer the girl might just release the picture to the press without a second thought. Effectively ruining Shin Hoseok’s career (and possibly promoting another career path at the same time.)

Wonho was his client’s producer alias and Hyungwon's fingers tingled with the wish to google him. Get to know who he's really dealing with. His fingers typed the letters into the search engine faster than his brain could stop them. Without any further delay masses of articles on the success of different songs filled his screen.

 _Seems like he's doing well_.

Hyungwon decided not to check out any of the songs and clicked on pictures. If anyone would have asked ‘why’ he would have answered ‘to recognize him in case we meet accidentally obviously’, but that was pure bullshit. You didn't need pics to recognize that guy. He looked like his life was one giant celebrity photo shoot.

Rows and rows of pale skin, pink lips and ash-blonde hair filled his computer screen. Apparently his client wasn't only confident about his body, but also a selfie-addict. Google lost count of the pages filled with pictures of the guy and just offered to click next after page 15. Hyungwon scrolled down quickly, giving most of the pics a quick glance until his eyes focused on something he considered semi-porn.

Shin Huge-seok was sitting in a car, legs barely covered with jeans fabric, holes big enough to place your hands inside, which is exactly what the other man did. The camera angle was high revealing his smiling lips and his left hand pushed inside a wide hole on his thigh, barely grazing his crotch. _'What the actual fuck_ ,' Hyungwon thought clicking the picture away and feeling the need to scream at his client to not leave the house. If the guy posted actual pictures of himself like that of course people were going to take dick pics and spread them on the internet. Why was he even surprised about that?

Hyungwon turned off the browser and glanced in the direction of the notebook again. He should really get to work. The next steps weren't that difficult either way. He was going to contact the woman officially after getting her identity from the police department and block media outlets from accepting the picture with the help of a little suing blackmail. That stuff usually worked wonders.

However knowing more about the woman before going to the police department was crucial and the only one who could tell him more was his client. Poking his phone with his pinky Hyungwon mentally formulated how to tell his client to give him information without sounding like he's forgiven him for being a cocky ass.

When his secretary came in 30 minutes later to bring him another starbucks coffee he was still contemplating between saying something provoking and being professional. “Alice?” he called for his secretary’s attention. The girl blushed as if he just called her beautiful and nodded in his direction. “If you want to tell someone off while being professional what would you tell them?”

Hyungwon doubted that the girl would have a solution to cancer ready, considering she just left university 2 months ago, but maybe she had some fresh ideas. “Just point out a flaw and offer a solution?” The girl sounded insecure and pulled at her fingers, a nervous habit she should be working on.

“Thank you. I'll consider that.” Hyungwon smiled at the pinkish cheeks, gave her reassurance and watched her blush and stumble out of his office. Cute.

The lawyer looked back to the messaging screen of his phone, still empty and only the words ‘Client Shin Wonho’ written as the receiver. After further consideration he followed Alice’s advice after all.

“Dear Mr. Shin, after careful research I realized your general tendency of displaying various body parts. I would like to remind you again at this point to keep them to yourself until the resolution of the case. Further, I require you to share all relevant information about the blackmailer with me to identify her as quickly as possible. Yours sincerely, Lawyer Chae H.”

Looking at the professionally formulated message with a little bit of spice Hyungwon was satisfied. This seemed good enough and should result in sufficient information. Hopefully his client knew what the girl actually looked like. ‘Her pussy sucked me up like a drain’ wouldn't be particularly helpful.

As a last step in his preparation he opened his thick copy of national law and looked up the blackmailing section. He had to be sure his memory was up to date and he fulfilled all the necessary steps. Just when he was about to put the copy back into one of his four bookshelves his phone vibrated insistently in his pocket. His private phone.

Seeing the familiar name on the screen Hyungwon grinned. Changkyun that ass finally decided to ask him how the meeting went. Letting the phone ring a little to build suspense he finally accepted the call and moved the phone to his ear.

“Shoot.”


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some tension? ;)

The whole mess became tremendously worse as Hoseok googled him. TV interviews, appearances as a law expert on professional channels, pictures of him going in and out of court, looking intimidating, mesmerizing and _hot as fuck_.

Hoseok regretted his life decisions deeply after spending those four hours watching Fancy Chae in his natural habitat. Now he had a great deal more material for his nasty imagination than necessary.  
  
_Fuck you Chae Hyungwon._

What was wrong with his sex drive? Why did this sassy asshole fuck up his libido anyway? After ten full hours of working on a guide, sleeping for six hours and consuming a nice protein breakfast, Fancy Chae’s fabulous fuckface appeared before his eyes 80% of the time. He even dreamt about him. Needless to say it was a wet dream. Hoseok was wet, his sheets were wet and his ability to keep the dreamt images out of his head was drained.  
  
_How old are you to have wet dreams? 12?_ _  
_

It was a fact that Hoseok’s stress tolerance was strained and he needed distraction. Preferably a pretty distraction with nice full breasts, a beautiful face and a hot body in a tight dress he could rip off with his bare hands.

That sounded like an acceptable plan considering he was invited to Changkyun’s lame get-together. Well, it wouldn't be lame as soon as Hoseok led his jeans-clad legs through the door. He really liked the location and there were going to be ladies and they were going to jump him, solving his current issues and blessing him with peace. For sure.

 _Bzzzzz._  
  
The vibrating sound of his phone caught Hoseok’s attention. A message from an unsaved number. He read it quickly only to let out an annoyed sigh. It was Fancy Chae bullshitting him in his fancy lawyer language. Something about Hoseok’s alleged exhibitionism and a request to leave his penis in his pants. Where else would he put his dick anyway?

 _'Chae Hyungwon’s mouth would be a nice place_ ,' he thought.

His headache thankfully prevented him from answering with an offensive curse or a shameless innuendo to anger the other man and he decided to write back something witty tomorrow.

After half an hour of random model walking in what felt like 30 different combinations his outfit was finally perfect. Hoseok was ready for distraction and he needed it desperately.

He felt something similar to euphoria rushing through his body, buckling up and preparing himself for a night out. Smirking at himself in the overhead mirror he pushed the gas pedal and the car sprinted forward.  
  
The gin bar was pretty crowded when he arrived. It was about 11PM, the gender ratio was perfect and the amount of female eyes on him gave him the kind of confidence boost he needed. Now he wanted to find Changkyun, who could probably introduce him to some safe ladies without a genital photography fetish.

Hoseok looked around when the dance floor caught his attention. There was a group of three people dancing in sync to some hip-hop song with a really well produced beat, bass smoothly supporting the melody. He went for green colour lenses today to enhance the contrast with his hair, so he couldn't see well because they weren't customized for his bad eyesight. He however recognized Changkyun’s hilarious body rolls and moved happily in his direction.

While Hoseok was walking towards the dance floor, the tall guy next to Changkyun managed to leave an impression although Hoseok was partially blind and could only see the dancers’ backs. The tall dancer’s movements were on point, the transitions fluent, the hip thrusts. _Dayum_. He was wearing tight blue jeans, white Nike sneakers and an oversized pullover. Black hair topped off the look and the body was exactly his type.

 _Maybe it will be a guy after all_.

Hoseok smirked and closed the distance while grabbing Changkyun from behind and whispering a nasty ‘evening babe’ in his friend’s ear.

Changkyun almost hit Hoseok in the face but thankfully stopped at the right time, recognising him.

“Hey Dude, it’s you! Errthing fine?” Changkyun smiled like the cute puppy he was and managed to melt Hoseok’s heart in two seconds.

“Sure. Your dance was on point. The other guys did really well too.” Hoseok looked to the left to greet the tall dancer and felt his eyeballs almost falling out at the familiar and yet foreign gaze.

Darker skin tone, dark brown eyes, perfect eyebrows, styled black hair, plump lips with an asshole smirk on them. Those lips.

 _Chae Hyungwon_. _Fuck._

It was him. There he was, the reason for his ultimate thirst, dancing like a god, wearing those casual clothes while looking like a whole fucking meal. The reason he needed distraction just stood there with crossed arms, looked down on him and smirked.

“Oh you and Hyungwon met up, right? I told you he was a dancer so we wanted to remember the good old high school times. Should we grab something to drink? I'm _super thirsty_.”

Changkyun spoke while looking visibly amused about this whole situation and left the dancefloor to look for something to drink, but not without shooting a finger gun at him.

'Yes' was the only thing Hoseok managed to press out of his lungs. He turned towards the bar as he suddenly felt a cold grip on his arm. Hyungwon just stood there and held his elbow while looking intimidating as fuck. He would have lied if he said he wasn't affected by it. His whole body was tingling and adrenaline rushed through his veins.

“Don't you think it is common sense to answer your lawyer’s texts, Shin Hoseok?” Fancy Chae turned into intimidating Chae but it didn't last long as Hoseok gained his senses back in a split second, grabbed the long fingers with his free hand and loosened the grip like butter.

“When did we agree that touching was part of our business relationship, Chae Hyungwon?”

Hoseok looked him directly in the eyes, still holding Hyungwon’s long fingers pointedly next to his chest. And there it was again. Hoseok wasn't mistaken. The lawyer’s sassy mouth was closed, he was embarrassed instead. Chae Hyungwon was shy because of him.

The lawyer whipped his fingers from Hoseok’s strong grasp after what felt like an eternity, turned around and walked towards the bar in fast steps.

‘1 - 0 for Wonho,’ Hoseok thought and went after him.

 

***

 

The obnoxiously loud music and mass of bodies rubbing against each other wasn’t quite Hyungwon’s idea of an optimal friday night, but when you had friends you sometimes had to hang out with them and make compromises. Luckily Hyungwon kept those to a minimum, but today was not one of those days. Changkyun had invited him for a party with some of their (his) high school buddies and since Minhyuk that manipulative bastard was there Hyungwon had no way in hell to say no.

As soon as he entered the bar he was surrounded by a cheerful Changkyun and even more excited Minhyuk, pulling his arms from both sides and begging him to dance. Minhyuk had this quality about him that made you want to scream no, because deep inside you just knew it was a bad idea, but in the end you just went with it and got the first hand experience of what an awful idea it really was. Changkyun on the other hand was this sexy smart guy that acted like a puppy, confusing the shit out of you. Even now he was body rolling against Minhyuk while throwing grins at a couple of girls in the back. Scratch that. He began shooting finger hearts like a dork. A smile crept up Hyungwon’s lips. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. He loved his friends after all.

He closed his eyes and swayed his head back, hips rolling to the heavy bass. His legs moved smoothly to the single beat elements, emphasizing the changes in the melody. He loved dancing and if he hadn’t been a lawyer he would have continued. Unfortunately dancing alone didn’t make you filthy rich so he chose his second passion, ripping people to pieces in court.

 _'Forget about work already, Hyungwon'_ , he told himself and focused more of his attention on the music. He chuckled at the thought that he genuinely told himself not to think about work. That was almost a first. He added more flexibility to his hips, enjoying the heat of other bodies around him. He forgot what a nice feeling it was to let go and just follow half-naked bodies grinding to nasty hip-hop music. For a short moment he really wanted to empty a bottle of something alcoholic on his oversized-pullover, just cause he knew it would look mind-blowing but he quickly changes his mind. The smell would be disgusting and that shit was sticky.

“Enjoying yourself Won?" Minhyuk whispered way too close to his ear and Hyungwon instinctively pushed a knee to the side, shutting the other boy up. After seeing the pained expression on Minhyuk Hyungwon spared him a genuine smile. “Yeah, I underestimated this. I rarely leave the house except for work.”

“We tell you that for years already man!” Changkyun screamed over the music on his right. He was still rolling his body in smooth waves while singing ‘you can fuck me all the time’ whenever the chorus of the song kicked in. “You wish,” Hyungwon screamed back after another round of Changkyun mouthing inappropriate shit at him and returned to dancing.

When the third sex song in a row started playing Hyungwon didn’t care anymore and pulled out his body rolls, followed shortly by the hip thrusts. He heard Changkyun whistle at him and then suddenly scream. It caught him off guard but wasn’t surprising enough to stop in the middle of his routine. Changkyun screamed randomly all the time. If Hyungwon started rolling his hips and thrusting that air he was going to stop when to song stopped. Apparently another person had made Changkyun scream, since Hyungwon heard him greeting someone behind him. Probably another high school friend Hyungwon had never talked to and knew neither the face nor the name of.

When the last beats faded out Hyungwon swayed his hips to the side, finishing with a fabulous move, right leg bent. Man, he felt amazing. Amazing enough to be a decent human being and introduce himself to Changkyun’s friend. He turned around and felt his eyes widen involuntarily at the ash blonde hair and pale skin he had googled mere hours ago. Not like he had actually googled his looks. He was being professional about it and getting to know his client, but that usually didn’t involve meeting them at bars while grinding shamelessly.

_Hey, at least your excuse that you need to recognize him in case you meet him accidentally works out._

Shin Hoseok didn’t see him yet and was busy exchanging a few words with Changkyun. Smiling at him and - and complementing Hyungwon’s dancing. Oh well, _thank you, sweetheart_. Hyungwon grinned shamelessly and crossed his arms as Shin Huge-seok turned around and looked like his soul had literally just left him, eyes wide open, lips slightly parted and unable to produce any sound. Hyungwon would have paid ridiculous amounts of money just to have that facial expression painted and hung up in his living room.

He didn’t have any problem with waiting until that mouth finally produced a coherent sound, but Changkyun beat him to it. “Oh you and Hyungwon met up, right?" he started and his eyes moved from his friend’s ridiculous facial expression to Hyungwon’s obvious grin. “I told you he was a dancer so we wanted to remember the good old high school times. Should we grab something to drink? I'm _super thirsty_.” The way Changkyun pronounced the word ‘thirsty’ was the most obvious sign that he was making fun of them and loved the whole ridiculousness of the situation. That dick was getting a kick out of riling the poor guy up.

Without any further delay Changkyun passed them and walked towards the bar to get some drinks, but Shin’s eyes stayed glued to Hyungwon’s face. It was almost intimidating. After what felt like ages he finally swallowed, muttered a barely distinguishable ‘yes’ and turned to follow Changkyun. Just when the other man was about to move further away Hyungwon grabbed his elbow impulsively. He wasn’t quite sure why he did it and felt his pulse increase and brain race desperately trying to come up with a logical reason for his behaviour.

When nothing magically appeared he did what he does best, he stared. Shin Hoseok remained absolutely still and only while mustering his face in such proximity Hyungwon could tell that he was wearing contact lenses. The green eyes looked unreal paired with the white skin and few blond strands falling over the other man’s forehead. It was almost beautiful. _Almost._

When the silence stretched too long Hyungwon said the most intelligent thing he could think of, a complaint. “Don't you think it is common sense to answer your lawyer’s messages, Shin Hoseok?”

Great, he sounded like 15-year-old schoolgirl crying to her boyfriend about not answering her 24 messages within the first 30 seconds. _Good job Hyungwon. Really. Way to save your dignity._

_Fuck._

Hyungwon immediately knew that he had lost when the other man’s eyes lost their vulnerable look and the same confident and cocky gaze returned that he had seen during their first meeting. Shin Hoseok’s eyes narrowed slightly and his jaw relaxed, mouth playing with a sleezy grin. His muscular arm moved towards his elbow, where Hyungwon was loosely holding it, and peeled his hand away. Easily, like chasing away a fly. Hyungwon swallowed and couldn’t help but think that he really didn’t want to get into a fight with that guy. No matter what. The touch of strong warm fingers holding his distracted him from saying something smart.

“When did we agree that touching was part of our business relationship, Chae Hyungwon?”

 _Bastard_. Hyungwon walked right into that one. He should have expected the sexual innuendo. After all that’s what Huge-seok had been throwing at him since day one. As embarrassing as it was Hyungwon didn’t manage to free his hand. He pulled but it didn’t budge. Not even a centimeter. He forgot to struggle harder when Shin Hoseok’s eyes met his, staring at him as if he was about to eat him and tightened his grip on Hyungwon’s fingers impossibly more. After long moments of nothing but his loud heartbeat Hyungwon felt blood rush to his face. _Fucking hell._

It was now or never. He used all his force to yank his hand out of the other man’s firm grasp and moved towards to bar as fast as his long legs could take him. He was not going to blush in front of Shin Hoseok. No fucking way.

When he arrived at the bar he almost walked into the cocktail that Changkun held his way. “Woah, woah, chill. That shit is expensive.” Hyungwon gave him a thankful nod and took a long sip. This better be 100% Vodka with a sprinkle of lime or something. A muscular arm reached for the other cocktail in Changkyun’s hand and hell-on-legs placed himself at the bar next to Changkyun. Hyungwon never felt as thankful for Changkyun as he felt right at that moment. His dignity couldn’t take any more of this bullshit. Another sip of his cocktail burned most of the confusion away and Hyungwon almost felt ready to lose himself on the dancefloor again and forget that he came here with friends and met his client. So much to not thinking about work.

_You were definitely not thinking about work, Hyungwon._

An unpleasant sensation on the right forced Hyungwon to look. That asshole was staring at him. Still. Quickly turning back to the bar he took another sip of the Cocktail and hoped Huge-seok would find something else to pass his time. He didn't.

The third sip of the cocktail brought old Hyungwon back as he just turned around, spread his legs to get more comfortable and stared right back, leaning against the bar with his elbow and placing his head in his hand. He smirked. This was childish but he couldn’t help feeling challenged. If Shin Hoseok wanted to sit at the bar and stare then Hyungwon was going to stare him to death.

The blonde devil took the straw out of the cocktail and pointedly licked it clean with his skilful pink tongue while staring Hyungwon directly in the eyes. What the actual fuck. What was this? A porn show?! Hyungwon raised an eyebrow in question, partially because he really didn't understand the point of it. Did the other man want to confuse him? Weird him out? The last part worked pretty well until now, because Hyungwon was pretty sure he was not a chick. He took another sip of his cocktail and Huge-seok finally looked away for some reason.

The alcohol spread in his throat like a warm blanket and he relaxed his posture in the chair. “What's up with you two?" Changkyun asked after a while, putting a hand on his shoulder. Hyungwon shrugged, after all he was fine and the only one seeing the need to provoke him and be creepy was his client.“I think he wants to rile me up.”

Changkyun’s hand left his shoulder and Hyungwon turned curiously, seeing how Changkyun glanced towards to crowd. “Oh, d-do you? Like rile you up as in make you angry?” What the hell was he even on about. What else?

“Well, duh.”

Changkyun didn't look too convinced, which was strange. He just nodded and started promoting his own drink which was called “virgin blood of a sex machine” and explained why that totally made sense considering the ingredients. Hyungwon stopped following after “Sex machines need fuel, since they're machines after all!”

When both of them emptied their glasses Changkyun stormed the dance floor while Hyungwon decided to enjoy the quiet some more. Shin had disappeared right before Changkyun asked about their bickering and was nowhere to be found. Not like Hyungwon was looking but he had this weird feeling that Huge-seok was going to do something stupid. Not the general type of stupid, but the work relevant kind of stupid. Meeting his client had brought him back to earth and to what he knew best. Work.

The longer Hyungwon stayed at the bar, the more he was annoyed by the sweaty mess around him. On his left a guy was trying to talk up a girl, but had no idea what he was actually doing. Random compliments about her feet leaving his mouth and Hyungwon wanted to clean his ears with vodka to get the memory out for good. He lost count of the girls that tried to talk him up or were throwing him meaningful glances trying to make him walk over there. But Hyungwon wasn't a fan of casual hook-ups. And he had standards. High standards.

When he looked out to the dance floor to find Changkyun and tell him he was leaving for good he found something else entirely. Shin Hoseok was dancing with a woman plastered to his front, her ass pressed against his crotch, his hands moving over her waist and hips. His white shirt stuck to his chest with sweat and his face was glistening in the light. He was whispering something into the woman's ear and she seemed to enjoy it since she threw her head back and pushed her hips further into ripped black jeans. The same ones Hyungwon had seen him wear in that picture.

The woman herself consisted of more breasts than anything else, red dress pushing everything together and hugging her body like a spandex suit. Hyungwon himself preferred petite and elegant girls over women in dresses that looked like a condom slid over a tree trunk. But even that wasn't the point. The point was that Hyungwon explicitly told him not to go out and hoe around before the case was settled. The difficulty of taking pictures and selling them as ‘him willingly giving out his dick pics’ would be like a walk in the park.

Hyungwon really wanted to go over there and strangle them both, but he controlled himself for the sake of socially acceptable behaviour. Shin hadn't gone anywhere with the girl yet and was just enjoying some, very intensive, body heat. That's not really a crime and technically Hyungwon only told him not to hook up. He took a deep breath and ordered a beer to stay sober enough to drive home, but drunk enough to take the horrible company.

After another glance at the dance floor Hyungwon coughed up part of the beer he just swallowed, eyes burning and hand holding his chest. Huge-seok was sucking the soul out of that girl through her mouth and leading her towards the exit. And one didn't need to be a genius to know what for. Hyungwon was really close to losing his shit. Did this guy even care about his career if he kept ignoring Hyungwon's requests like a teenager in puberty. It was plain ridiculous. Hyungwon wasn't his mom to run after him and keep him from doing something stupid.

His actions sang a different tune as he was out of the club in no more than two minutes and on the way to his BMW, keys swinging. He disliked cock-blocking but there was no way in hell that he'd be losing the first case because of a disobedient client. _That's a first,_ Hyungwon thought and buckled up quickly. He saw the two of them move towards the main street, still embracing and sucking each others faces, so getting there with his car in time wasn’t a problem.

He left his parking spot without hurry, now that he knew he would be faster than a cab. Hyungwon drove towards the street he expected them to go and immediately spotted them  standing at the road, Shin kissing her shoulders and her stretching an arm out hoping for a cab. Hyungwon couldn't believe he was doing this.

Wheels squealed as he braked right in front of them, both of them visible through his side window, and stopped. The action was sudden enough to interrupt their spit exchange. Hyungwon firstly rolled his eyes and then rolled down his window, shooting them the most disgusted glance he could muster. Shin Hoseok froze even more than he did before, eyes incredulously wide and hands uselessly hanging around the woman's body.

“Please wait for a few minutes Ms. I have requested a cab for you which should be here shortly.” The woman gave him a confused look as if she didn't know whether it was appropriate to laugh. Hyungwon ignored her and turned to his client.

“And you," he said sternly staring at the other man. “Get in the fucking car.”

  
  
***

 

Hoseok pretended that he was totally ok with Chae Hyungwon’s fancy ass disturbing his inner peace, while he sat at the bar and sipped on something that tasted like armpit.

He was not far from losing control over his body and decided it was an amazing idea to just go through with his previous plan, fearing that if he kept staring at this sassy mouth he might just use his muscles to pin Hyungwon against the wall and get an idea what this mouth tasted like. For real. That was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

Hoseok took out the straw and licked it while looking at Fancy Chae who returned his gaze at that exact moment. Hoseok twirled his tongue over the straw while watching Chae’s expressions, which showed him that he was confused and embarrassed at the same time.

 _Whatever_. _Fuck this shit._

The tension was no joke and he needed to get rid of it some time soon. Hoseok stood up, put the straw back in the armpit cocktail and went to the dancefloor without any comment.

After dancing for ten minutes the woman was ready to fuck Hoseok right on the spot. She whispered in his ear to go somewhere because she wanted to show him her tongue technology and what kind of acrobatic stuff she was capable of. Thankfully she wasn't a drunk mess. Instead she opened his lips skilfully with her warm tongue and it felt indeed  like a welcomed distraction.

“Let’s go to my place," Hoseok suggested and the lady nodded quickly. He wanted to get a cab because he drank and didn't want to take his own car. He would just get it tomorrow.

He was busy kissing the tender skin on the woman's shoulders when he heard sport brakes squeal and spotted a white BMW right next to him. The window went down, a low familiar voice told his Lady to wait for a cab.

“And you, get in the fucking car.”

Chae Hyungwon’s stern expression and his gaze didn't look as if he was in a mood for jokes.

“Why should I?” Hoseok was mad. He found a distraction, he wanted to take her home and enjoy it and the reason for his misery just turns up and tries to ruin all the fun for him.

“Because get your ass in the fucking car Shin Hoseok.” Hyungwon’s expression didn't change a bit. He looked very determined and partly angry.

Hoseok didn't want to create a scene, so he whispered a quick “I'm sorry babe, let's postpone it." into his acquaintance’s ear, opened the door and dropped himself on the leather seat.

“You better have a good explanation, an apology and a beautiful pussy ready in the next hour or I'll fucking choke you.” Hoseok breathed heavily and looked at Hyungwon’s face. He couldn't recognize any facial expression because the lawyer turned around, stepped on the gas pedal and the car accelerated so fast that Hoseok was pushed into the seat.

“Your address." Fancy Chae regained his vocabulary back after about five minutes of driving on the main street without saying a word. Again the words didn't leave any room for argument.

“It's two blocks from here. 33th street. Are you my taxi? You should've taken my new friend along!” Hoseok tried to sound mad but the sight of Chae Hyungwon leaning back in the leather seat with one hand on the wheel, accelerating like a crazy person while looking extremely hot in those tight blue jeans bothered him much more than it should've.

“Shut up. We will talk about that later.” Chae looked straight ahead and accelerated as if to emphasize his words once again.

The car stopped abruptly in the parking garage of his house. Hoseok stepped out and walked towards the elevator without comment as he heard the driver's door, and Hyungwon’s steps behind him.

“Wanna stay over? Is that some kind of client-lawyer relationship thing I'm not familiar with?”

Hoseok didn't want to have Hyungwon next to him, in his home. It was pressuring. He tried hard to avoid him, but Chae was there, getting unnecessarily involved and making his life miserable. They stepped into the elevator and Hoseok pushed 32.

“I told you we need to talk about what you should and shouldn't do in this situation, what exactly happened the night the picture was taken and how you're a fucking shithead judging by your behaviour today. You tell me everything like a good boy, then I'll go home and finally do my job.“

Hyungwon talked like he didn't give a shit about what Hoseok thought and all the fancy formulations were gone. He must have been really angry.

“I would sincerely recommend you not to call me names and avoid making me angry. You already made me mad by your cock-blocking dick move from before so you better behave from now on.” Hoseok was furious again. He punched in the passcode and went straight to the cognac shelf without looking at what Hyungwon was doing.

After pouring in a glass of Hennessy X.O. Hoseok emptied half of it in one gulp and turned around to face his unwelcome guest, who was surprisingly standing right next to him with a judgemental look on his face and arms crossed.

“You better not run around pushing your dick into everything that has a vagina Shin Hoseok. We talked about this and the first thing I see is you ready to fuck a woman you don't even know the name of. I would love to not give a shit about your sex life, but you're not ruining my case-winning ratio.” This fucker. He smirked while mentioning his fucking case ratio. He just prevented Hoseok from having fun because of his fucking ratio.

“Listen up Chae Hyungwon. If there's something I don't give a fuck about, then it's your shitty ratio. I pay you for winning my case and not for your unhealthy interest in my dick’s business” Hoseok took a small step towards the lawyer until there was not much space between them. The alcohol in his body blurred his senses, his skin tingled from the adrenaline, their eyes met and the tension was almost unbearable.

Hyungwon bit his lip slowly, sucking it in his mouth in the process and Hoseok’s mind went blank.

He closed the short distance with a step, grabbing Hyungwons shoulders with both hands and pressing him harshly against the wall. All he could see were those plump red lips slightly parted as the breath escaped the lungs and Hoseok leaned in. It felt so soft and full. Hoseok moved his lips over Hyungwon’s in a slow deep kiss until the realization of what he was actually doing hit him like a truck.

Maybe it was the Hennessy, or the way Hyungwon stood with his arms crossed as if he was making fun of Hoseok, maybe it was this tension that piled up during those couple of days, either way it was a disaster.

Hoseok broke the contact and started walking backwards in panic.

“Listen, I,” he looked at his own feet moving ”I think you need to go, I don't know what's happening. I think I drank too much.” Hoseok couldn't think of anything else but going to the bathroom. He closed the door and tried to catch his breath. A short flashback of the last five minutes rushed through his head. Why was he so influenced by Chae’s mere presence. Not to mention when the other decided to smirk at Hoseok with this devilish mouth of his. This loss of control while not being under influence was a first for him and he hit his head against the wall with quite some force.

 _You just pinned a straight as fuck person against the wall and kissed him, Hoseok. It was your lawyer, Hoseok. The only person who could possibly help you getting out of the blackmailing case, Hoseok. What the hell is wrong with you? You fucking idiot._  
  
His body slid to the floor and he buried his hurting head between his knees.  
  
He decided to stand up after about ten minutes of sitting on the ground, breathing in and out to calm the adrenaline rushing through his veins and to prevent himself from running after the lawyer. But also reconsidering his life decisions and trying to come up with an excuse when Hyungwon called tomorrow. If he called that is.  
Mumbling curses under his breath, Hoseok stepped out of the bathroom and went straight for the cognac shelf. He didn't find his neglected glass, so he took a new one out, filled it, twirled the liquid and raised it to his mouth.  
  
“So to come back to what we talked about before you excused yourself to the bathroom. As your lawyer I require to know what occurred the night the picture was taken.”  
  
Hoseok's expensive Hennessy almost hit the floor when he heard the familiar voice behind him. He turned in a hurry but his brain didn't seem to perceive the image before his eyes. Chae Hyungwon was sitting on his beige colored leather couch, legs spread in a relaxed manner, one hand resting on his thigh, the other one swayed the expensive brown liquid in a crystal glass. Hoseok’s crystal glass. His head tilted to the side, eyes on Hoseok, a smirk on his lips.  
  
The whole picture didn't make sense at all. Hoseok was absolutely sure the lawyer was gone after the embarrassing kiss-rape. But there he was, Chae Hyung-fucking-won sitting on his couch sipping on his cognac, out of his glass, looking like he was at home. The blood rushed back to his neglected brain and he managed to formulate a semi-useful sentence.  
  
“You sure are interested in a lot of things Chae Hyungwon. I hope you enjoy my cognac.”

 _Welcome back quick-witted Hoseok_.

He tried not to seem too surprised although it was probably too late for that. Hoseok took slow steps and sat on the leather armchair across the spot that was taken by the obviously relaxed lawyer.  
  
“That's what comes with the job Shin Hoseok. Now I would appreciate an exhaustive description of your encounter with the blackmailer. After all _that's_ what I'm here for.” Chae Hyungwon leaned in Hoseok’s direction and crossed his legs. He took a sip of the cognac before adding “And please excuse my manners. The cognac is superb.”  
  
Well at least that rude bastard had some taste. Hyungwon thankfully refrained from mentioning Hoseok’s ass-head behavior mere minutes ago so he decided to be cooperative.  
“Thank you for the credit. Feel free to refill. I have to be honest with you, I actually don’t remember much. She approached me first. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, a huge cherry blossom tattoo on her back, a really nice body, especially naked and...okay I will spare you the details. Oh she had heart shaped lips,” Hoseok added and almost blushed.

_Fuck the lips Hoseok. Just shut the fuck up._

The lawyer frowned when Hoseok elaborated too much, but relaxed his features as soon as he stopped. However Hoseok saw Chae’s big eyes move down to his lips as soon as he mentioned those of his hook-up. Catching himself quickly the other man raised an eyebrow. “Do you happen to have a name? That would speed up the work of the police.”  
  
“I wish.” His mouth was faster than his brain. “I was extremely drunk. To be honest it was a full blackout, I was surprised to have someone in my bed when I woke up. I went to take a shower and after I came out she was gone. The email came three to four hours later while I was working in my studio. I’m sorry I can't give you more information. Is there something else you need to know?” Hoseok leaned towards the couch and his gaze slid from Hyungwon’s eyes to his lips, to the relaxed hand on the thigh and back to the lips.

Chae followed Hoseok’s gaze for a moment until he decided otherwise and looked around the room taking a breath as if in thought. “I have to admit this sounds very much like a sitcom, but real life is known to be unpredictable.” He paused, emptying the cognac glass in a few gulps. “I have begun the report for the police and since they can track back the email, her tattoo should be sufficient to recognize the woman eventually.” He looked to his empty cognac glass and back to Hoseok, hinting at a refill. “Would you mind?”  
  
Hoseok reached for the empty glass and went to the cognac shelf once again. “Real life is like a crack video on youtube at the moment," he sighed while opening the fancy bottle. “What about you Chae Hyungwon? You never had stories like that happen to you, am I right? You seem like a person that is so controlled that it's almost annoying.” What was this personal talk all of a sudden. Hoseok was surprised at himself but waited for Hyungwon’s answer. He was curious what kind of person was sitting on his couch at this time of the night, coming by car and drowning the second high percentage drink in the last 15 minutes.

The lawyer remained silent, taking a considerable sip of the newly refilled glass. “That's a rather personal question to ask your lawyer, don't you think?" he answered finally.  
  
“Considering the fact, that you're sitting on my couch at 2AM, apparently too drunk to go home, talking about my sex life, it seems rather natural to me.” He tilted his head to the side to observe Chae’s reaction. “You don’t have to be afraid, I don't bite.” Hoseok looked at Hyungwon as if that was an obvious lie. He did bite.

Chae Hyungwon almost suffocated on his drink. His eyes widened in horror and he looked at his half empty glass as if hoping that it'd tell him that whatever Hoseok just said wasn't true. He looked back and forth between the door and Hoseok, probably contemplating how to leave the second by walking through the first, still suffocating. No solution was found as he stared at his hands next, still unable to catch his breath and sounding like he was coughing out his soul. The fit was strong enough to force him to bend in half clutching his chest with one hand and grabbing the couch with the other. “Shit,” he forced out. “Why didn't you stop me?”  
  
Hoseok enjoyed the sight of Chae Hyungwon being desperate. It pleased him more than it should have. “Well, why should I prevent you from having fun? And you're a _big boy_ and should be able to stop by yourself, aren't you _Hyungwon_?” Hoseok’s gaze was anything but innocent. He couldn't move his eyes from Hyungwon’s red lips. It was a good moment to drop the honorifics.

“Shin,” Hyungwon interrupted Hoseok’s staring, sounding sick. “I-I can't fuck-ing breathe. Do something.” Hoseok stood up slowly and sat down right next to Hyungwon to hit his back with his right hand.

“Better?” He leaned in until there were only a couple of centimeters space between them and Hoseok could feel Hyungwon’s unstable breath on the hand he low-key placed on the lawyers thigh. Hyungwon stopped coughing and met Hoseok´s gaze.  
  
_Hoseok you need to calm the fuck down. NOW._  
  
He moved a couple of centimeters away from the lawyer in a hurry and rested his hands on the couch while looking at his knees.

Hoseok could feel Hyungwon shuffling next to him and attempting to stand up, legs unstable and only keeping balance through a hand on the armrest. “Get me a cab," the other man breathed, words barely audible. “Please.”  
  
Good idea. Hoseok jumped up, helped the other man stand properly, got his phone from the pocket of his leather jacket and called the familiar number. Good thing he got the groceries before so he had normal stuff to drink. He filled a glass with tonic water and walked towards an obviously struggling Hyungwon.  
“Here. Drink that. The cab will arrive in five minutes. I’ll bring you down. Not that you pass out in the elevator and sue me later.”

“It's not that bad,” Hyungwon gritted out through his teeth after throwing back the non-alcoholic liquid. After a few moments of staring at the floor he added a really quiet “Thank you though.” Just when Hoseok was about to help him out of the apartment despite his protests Hyungwon belatedly murmured ‘Mr. Shin’.  
  
Hoseok went up after sending Hyungwon off in the cab. He got rid of his clothes, took a hot shower and thought about the crazy night while lying on the bed, covered by a thin blanket only. Those lips were definitely the highlight. They were so soft, he would've killed to know how Hyungwon’s tongue would feel like in his mouth, how his thin waist would feel like pressed against his body, his hips, his hands with those long fingers touching his skin.  
  
_Why would you think about that Hoseok? Think about the dick pic ruining your life and the sassy asshole being the one to save you from it._  
  
True. The lawyer was obviously shaken by his open approach and crazy predatory behaviour. Hoseok needed to calm down if he wanted to get rid of the blackmail case. He felt truly thankful that Hyungwon hadn't said anything about the kiss-rape against the wall.  
  
_Yeah, let’s get sued for sexual harrassment too._

Only few moments later his eyelids became heavy and he fell asleep, Hyungwon's lips still on his mind like a curse.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Oh sorry, I was wondering...why the fuck did you push me against a wall and kiss me? That was kinda weird’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the next chapter :) As always we are looking forward to hear what you think!

The first thing Hyungwon felt when his consciousness returned was the throbbing pain in his neck. His limbs felt like two year old jelly and none of them reacted to his attempts to move them. Opening one eye to identify his surroundings he was met with the ceiling of his apartment. However it wasn't his bedroom ceiling.

Another attempt at moving his limbs revealed a few stray cushions under his back and black leather slightly sticky from sleeping on it with naked skin. Hyungwon groaned loudly at his own stupidity. Apparently he had the strength to take off his clothes when he had gotten home from Shin’s house, but he hadn't been able to find his goddamn bed.

_Shin’s house. Shin Hoseok’s house. Your client’s house._

Hyungwon groaned again just to remind himself what an utter idiot he was. Not only had he completely lost his cool and forced his client to go home like a child (although it was justified, considering its relevance for avoiding negative publicity), but he had also filled himself up with high-percentage alcohol while having a business conversation.  
  
_What the actual fuck Chae Hyungwon?_

Hyungwon attempted to crawl down from the black couch, skin hurting from sticking to the leather and red from rolling around too much. He must have moved a lot while sleeping. Not standing for more than a second he fell back onto the mass of pillows, wanting to sink into them and not come back out. Ever.

He had had a business conversation that apparently included _mouth to mouth interaction against a wall._

Hyungwon cursed whatever his brain thought when it decided that going up to Shin Hoseok’s apartment was a good idea. Maybe Changkyun had mixed something into that cocktail of his that resulted in non-permanent brain damage. When he lifted his body back up, finally smelling air that didn't smell like him and alcohol, he stepped on a belt he left lying next to the couch, crying out in pain and falling to the floor.

Maybe the brain damage was permanent after all.

After getting his shit semi-together, throwing everything he had worn at the party into the laundry basket (including couch pillows) and making himself a hot bath, his thoughts involuntarily returned to the events of last night. He moved his arms through the hot water, attempting to loosen up all the cramped muscles and indulged in hating himself thoroughly.

Instead of being professional and keeping a healthy distance he had been hanging out at his client’s place, drinking cognac on his sofa and sharing spit.  
  
_Well it's not like you wanted to share spit Hyungwon._  
  
Furthermore he wouldn't have been able to free himself either way. Shin Hoseok was a fucking cupboard and Hyungwon would have broken both wrists before getting the other man away from himself. What Hyungwon didn’t understand was why his client has forced him against the wall in the first place. There was nothing to have triggered it and Hyungwon hadn't been doing anything. Shin had seemed more sober than Hyungwon throughout the whole evening. At least he had been able to keep his body straight while bringing Hyungwon to the taxi.

Except for the spit exchange. That wasn’t very straight.

 _You’re fucked Hyungwon_.

There was no way in hell that Hyungwon would be able to deal with Shin Huge-seok without remembering that the other man pushed him against a wall and abused his mouth. A cold shiver ran down his back, which was ridiculous because he was sitting in a hot tub.  
  
_You’re so fucked._  
  
At the same time Hyungwon couldn’t mention it. What would he say anyway? ‘Oh sorry, I was wondering...why the fuck did you push me against a wall and kiss me? That was kinda weird’. A groan left his lips and he furiously rubbed his arms and chest with shower gel.

Asking would just make everything worse. They would have to get into details on why Hyungwon didn’t react and he hadn’t thought about it and wasn’t going to. Everything had been too fast and he had been busy thinking about work. Mostly. A vision of Shin Hoseok right in front of his face with blond hair tickling his forehead and lips pressing against his filled his mind. Kissing women was different, but somehow it also wasn’t.  
  
_Maybe because women usually can’t press you against a wall like that Hyungwon._  
  
He pushed himself under the water and hoped that being surrounded by several litres of water and lacking noise would make it easier to deal with everything.

It didn’t.

The thought that he was forgetting something kept poking Hyungwon like a needle throughout the whole process of washing his hair, shaving, getting dressed and drinking a hot cup of coffee. The liquid burned down his throat and brought his senses back. The dull headache that came from being hungover had almost left him leaving a pleasant warmth in its wake. The only thing that didn’t were the memories, but Hyungwon always remembered everything no matter how much he drank, which wasn’t much usually. It was simultaneously a gift and a curse.

A quick glance at his calendar revealed a late night meeting with an acquaintance of his that worked for the police. They were going to meet at a bar and discuss how long it would take until Hyungwon had the blackmailer’s name and address. His stomach turned unpleasantly at the thought of a bar and another glass of expensive alcohol. Hyungwon was definitely going to tone it down.  
  
_It was a business meeting after all_.  
  
He had wanted to know the identity of the woman in question as soon as possible to teach her a lesson (and close the case, thereby getting back to his everything-but-complicated life). Luckily his friend agreed to take it into his own hands.

The insistent poking of the needle turned into a full blown stab to the gut when Hyungwon thought about how long he would need to get to the meeting spot. He had left his car at Shin Hoseok’s garage. He had to return and get it. And he had to be professional although he felt everything but. His hands were already starting to get clammy at the image and he wasn’t even out of the door.

‘Relax Hyungwon. Just go there, grab your car and leave. You don’t even have to see or talk to him’, Hyungwon told himself while rummaging around for the light blue jeans he had been wearing the night before. However his car key was nowhere to be found. He looked through all the pockets and even checked his pullover although it didn’t even have pockets in the first place. Having spent 10 minutes desperately looking for his car key the most unpleasant thought entered his brain.

_You forgot it at his place. You forgot your car key on Shin Hoseok’s couch like a dumb piece of shit._

His heart rate kicked up like during a sprint, blood shooting to his head and causing dizziness. Hyungwon sat down on a chair in his kitchen and held onto the dining table so tightly his knuckles turned white. Why was he reacting like this? As if he was - panicking. Was he seriously panicking about having to go to Shin Hoseok’s place and pick up a key? His breath stuttered at the thought and had his answer. Shin Hoseok was so going to make fun of this. He was going to hold it above Hyungwon for the remaining time of their business relationship and eternity, riling him up all the fucking time. _Shit_.

It was simple. Hyungwon didn’t have problems dealing with people. He had professional relationships and non professional relationships. Both of these were very clearly separated and not hard to keep track off. Furthermore Hyungwon knew what to expect of both groups.

_But I don’t fucking know what’s going on inside his head._

One second Shin Hoseok was looking at Hyungwon like a hungry animal, which was more than creepy and in the next he resembled the friendliest person on earth. Hyungwon was extremely confused and being kissed wasn’t making it any better.

He was basically terrified of meeting a client because he had no idea what the client was going to do. Or what he himself was going to do and honestly - that was even worse. Hyungwon hated losing control and drinking cognac with a client was exactly that. He inhaled the last drops of his coffee and thought about how to get out of the situation. He needed his car back eventually. Calling a taxi for forever wasn’t an option and it probably wouldn’t be getting any easier the longer he waited. It would just look like he was scared (which he was).

Taking another deep breath Hyungwon concentrated on doing the smartest thing he could think of. Calling Shin Hoseok and asking whether he could pick up his car. Maybe he wasn’t even there and Hyungwon wouldn’t have to see him and could return to his taxi solution. He stared at the numbers for what felt like an eternity until he internally screamed at himself to be a man and tapped the call button.

When he heard a familiar voice after a few short tones he almost dropped the phone. He should have thought about this first. _Fuck_.

“Well if that's not my lawyer, did you manage to come back from the dead without any further consequences?” He seemed to enjoy the situation. “I mean besides drinking like a crazy person, almost dying in front of my eyes while choking on my cognac and forgetting your car key, that almost had sex with me when I tried to sit on my couch.”

The pause stretched as Hyungwon attempted to get his breathing under control. He had been fucking terrified before calling because Shin Hoseok kept coming in like a fucking wrecking ball (no references intended). Normal people say ‘Hi’. Couldn't he just answer his phone like normal people do? In addition he really didn't want to imagine what Hoseok having sex with his car key looked like.

The only thing Hyungwon eventually came up with saying was “I'm definitely alive. But thank you for asking Mr. Shin.” Calling his client by last name was calming enough to add “I'm sure you are experienced when it comes to unhealthy amounts of alcohol.” Another look around his apartment relaxed his features even more as it was much more orderly than his thoughts.  
  
“So when are you coming back here? I don't think you intend to go to court by broom, although it would fit your personality perfectly.” Hoseok was obviously making fun of him for losing control. “You know I’m a very busy person especially in the evenings, when my lawyer is not around to pull a cock-block move. Tell me a time when you want to pick up your carriage of irrelevant brand and I'll see what I can do for you.”

Hyungwon should've known better. Why did he expect a normal reaction in the first place? He had forgotten that the only thing Shin Hoseok was living for was making him angry. He probably only kissed him to rile him up as well, just that Hyungwon was smart and tactfully ignored it, thereby saving the business relationship. Now if only Huge-seok would get the hint.

“Mr. Shin I understand that you are busy and so am I. If it is problematic for you I am perfectly fine with sending my secretary to pick up the car next week. A cab will suffice for a few days.” Hyungwon took another deep breath to not say something offensive but be reasonable, something his client had difficulties with. “And concerning your wish for releasing some tension. It wouldn't be a problem if you met up with someone you are acquainted with. I am only opposed to women that could be taking the same advantage of you as the young lady we are already dealing with.”  
  
“Ew, you make sex sound disgusting just by talking about it. Thank you, you ruined it. Don't be a coward and come get your car, or are you scared? Although I don't know why you should be.”  
  
Shin made a long pause.

“Just put your dick in someone you know Shin. For fuck’s sake. Is it easier to understand that way?” The other man was making this way harder than it had to be. Couldn't he just say ‘yes’, let Hyungwon pick up his car in peace without making him feel bad about things that were absolutely irrelevant. In addition it was probably safer if Hyungwon picked it up himself. He wouldn't want Shin to jump Alice just because she was pretty.

“I love your devotion for my dick. Plus points for you. Just look at the clock and tell me when I have to be ready to see that annoying face of yours. I might need mental preparation.”

Hyungwon signed in annoyance and took a look at the clock. Better get this over with quickly.

“Good that there is at least one thing we have in common Shin. Give me 20 minutes and I'll be there.” Hyungwon definitely needed some preparation for this. Whatever his client was planning on doing Hyungwon was going to kick him to the moon and back. Knowing how much Shin loved having the last word Hyungwon did the one thing he knew would bring him immense satisfaction and hung up before he could hear the answer.  
  
_Suck that Shin Hoseok_.

 

***

 

The clock ticked 3 PM when Hoseok opened his eyes. It was unusual for him to sleep that long, he normally worked so much that sleep was a luxury and around three hours were absolutely sufficient for his trained body. It must’ve been the insane amount of adrenaline yesterday, considering the countless situations Hoseok almost lost his shit at.  
  
_It was all his fault. Chae Hyungwon, this devilish human_.

What person doesn't run away after being pinned against the wall and forcefully kissed? He was strange. Moreover his posture sitting on the couch was intolerable. As if Hoseok was this little excited schoolgirl who made a mistake by accidentally kissing Hyungwon, and he himself was the cold smirking fuckboy who made fun of the girl’s pathetic attempt at making out. He was not a schoolgirl and Hyungwon would get a first hand experience eventually.

 _He better move his fancy ass here so I can show him._  
  
Images flooded Hoseok’s brain. Hyungwon’s perfect skin that looked darker than his, the thin shoulders that immediately gave in at Hoseok’s palms pressing against them. The breath that escaped his mouth while hitting the wall and the widened eyes that looked at him with a mixture of anxiety and surprise. Those slightly spread lips, so inviting, so soft and velvety, so red and beautiful. Chae Hyungwon was beautiful, maybe that was the problem. Hoseok had a weak spot for aesthetics. But Chae behaved like a sassy dick and Hoseok couldn't stop thinking about ways of making him knee in front of him. With his mouth open. For science.

There was something particularly interesting in Hyungwon’s reaction to his behavioral blackout. He didn't move. He didn't do anything to be exact. Although there was something that caught Hoseok’s attention if he thought about it. Hyungwon’s lips trembled, as if he couldn't decide whether to reciprocate the kiss or not. He didn't stop.

Amazing, Hoseok thought Hyungwon would be the one to slap you for stuff like that, tell you how you insulted him with your mere presence and sue you after coming up with a mediocre reason. He sat down on the spot where Hyungwon sat last night and something hard poked his thigh. Grasping it and pulling it away from under himself he saw a black BMW key with ‘Chae Hyungwon’ engraved in it.

_Seriously man! What kind of twat engraves his fucking name in a car key. He probably has his name tattooed on his left nut._

Hoseok suppressed the thought about Chae Hyungwon’s balls.  
  
The phone played a nice beat. His beat. Hoseok looked at the display. It was Chae Hyungwon. Well that was perfect timing. Someone must’ve realized he had behaved like a stupid person would behave. Hoseok loved it. He had to calm down to not go over there and look at his face while Hyungwon probably hated himself for losing control. Damn, he didn't even know what losing control could be like. Hoseok wanted to show him so badly.

Chae discovered the absence of his fancy ass keys and said he would come over in a bit. Hoseok was just elaborating on what kind of nasty thing would be appropriate to say, to fuck Hyungwon up for good but this sassy bitch just hung up on him.  
  
Hoseok was angry. That was a bad thing. Inhibition worked poorly while he was angry. And Hyungwon would be in front of his door in twenty minutes, being this sassy punctual asshat.  
The first thought that came to mind was a shower. Five minutes, he didn't need more. After holding his head under cold water Hoseok was ready not to jump, choke and/or fuck people. Too bad he didn't have time to jerk off although his fingers yearned for it.  
  
He got a plain white shirt with a ridiculous neck-cut out of his wardrobe and decided to wear white ripped jeans. Hoseok pushed the underwear drawer closed and laughed out loud at the thought that crossed his mind.

 _Yeah, underwear is overrated._  
  
He looked acceptable. He looked like a white sex devil to be exact. Blonde partially wet hair, white shirt that hugged his muscles tightly and those pants with huge ripped out pieces without any underwear.

 _Yes, that sassy bastard can choke._  
  
The bastard was already pressing the bell.  
Hoseok put the key in the pocket of his pants and went to open the door.

 _He can get try getting them out if he wants to leave._  
  
“And there you are again. Did the taxidriver smell like sweat? I bet you miss your wrong choice of a car.”

Hoseok was still mad at Hyungwon hanging up.

Hyungwon smirked at him. He didn't sound quite as secure on the phone though. “Interestingly the taxi driver had a better idea of appropriate body distance than you did, Mr. Shin.” The lawyer stepped into the apartment as if he belonged there and immediately walked over to the couch looking for his key.

Hoseoks eyes narrowed, he tilted his head to the side and the corners of his mouth went up creating a weird expression of almost smiling.  
“An amusing story of Chae Hyungwon, who never lost control but then did and made it obvious to everybody by his hilariously idiotic behavior. I am always here to teach you about our human ways, darling.” He paused and started walking slowly towards Hyungwon, who looked lost.  
  
“That is funny coming from someone whose idiotic behaviour endangered his career. Mistakes happen Shin Hoseok. You're the living example of that,” the lawyer barked, but he looked increasingly uncomfortable the closer Hoseok got.  
  
The eyes never left Hyungwon as Hoseok sat down in the armchair. He stared.  
“I will be honest with you. You kind of pissed me off. I hate it when people hang up. I also hate it when people think they're the shit. Do you think you're the shit Hyungwon? You keep rubbing my mistakes, you're legally taking care of, in my face. Do you have some personal issue with me?” Hoseok leaned back, spread his legs and rested his head on his right palm while staring directly at Hyungwon.

It was strange, but the other man breathed a sigh of relief. “I'm sorry if I made this impression. Genuinely. I do believe that I'm a good lawyer and I think I'm great at my job, but I just had the feeling that you keep trying to rile me up for a reason I don't understand. I never had a client who had difficulties following suggestions before. I honestly don't understand. I'm just trying to help you.” He looked conflicted and sat down on the couch, crossing his legs and leaning back.  
  
“Why do you think I want to rile you up? Does that make sense to you?” A little smile hushed over Hoseok’s face. “You’re telling me you regularly drive around collecting clients who don't behave according to your standards, bring them home and drink their cognac? You are a very interesting person Hyungwon.”

The first real smile passed over Chae Hyungwon’s face and Hoseok almost missed it with how quick it was. “No, of course not.” Licking his lips Hyungwon looked up as if in thought and remained like that for a while. “It’s just,” He took another breath and his left hand started moving along the fingers of his right hand. Was it a nervous gesture? “Let’s say I never actually needed to make sure that my clients followed suggestions. Maybe they didn’t, but I was never there to see it. With you it was just so obvious cause you did it in front of my face. To put it bluntly: It pissed me off.”  
  
“So you do lose control?” The conversation was going in the perfectly right direction. He wanted to know what kind of person Hyungwon was.

The answer was short and simple. “Usually I don’t. And I’ll make sure that it won’t happen again. Although I somehow feel like partially it’s also you who lost control.” Sassy Chae returned and finally removed his gaze from his lap. His eyes set on Hoseok’s and his hands just lay on his thighs. The transformation was a fascinating sight.  
  
Hoseok stood up without giving any warning and went to the fridge. He poured tonic water into two glasses, crushed some ice cubes in the drink and went back to the living room. He stopped in front of the spot Hyungwon occupied, his hips on the same level as Hyungwon’s shoulders.  
  
“I’m sorry I was a shitty host. Here, drink up.” He put the glass in Hyungwon’s hand and dropped himself on the beige leather next to him. Their thighs touched and the lawyer shivered. “Are you cold? I shouldn't have put ice into the drink, sorry.” Hoseok looked at the lawyers face with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

“No I was just a little worried about what’s in there. Sorry, I got a little careful I guess,” Hyungwon answered and moved his leg a few millimeters away from Hoseok’s.

“I am curious as to why you think I lost control.” Hoseok just kept staring, it was hilarious. Poor boy didn't know what Hoseok losing control looked like.

Hyungwon looked at the basically non-existent space between their thighs and up to Hoseok’s face. Leaning towards to edge of the couch and resting his arm on the armrest he appeared more comfortable than he did before. “Because of your blind disregard for appropriate interpersonal distance during a conversation.” While saying that Hyungwon placed a hand on Hoseok’s chest, fingers spread on his pecs and pushed.  
  
Hoseok caught the lawyer's hand in a matter of milliseconds. He looked at him while holding it firmly in his grip. “You know there is a reason I warned you twice about intentional touching.” Hoseok leaned in while still holding Hyungwon’s hand. His gaze went from the other hand he expected to catch, to Hyungwon’s eyes, widened in surprise and familiar anxiety, to his lips. Again. Slightly open. Why did they have such an impact? Hoseok couldn't stop himself from staring and eating them up with his gaze.

Teeth bit down on a plump lower lip, as eyes narrowed and a second hand attempted to push Hoseok away, unsuccessfully as he expected, and easily caught it in his own. Hyungwon’s eyes were enormous, both wide and giving all their undivided attention to Hoseok. It was like a rush.  
  
“You are intriguingly silent for a person with that much vocabulary. Do you think you can convince me with those?” Hoseok held Hyungwon’s hands in front of his face and stared directly into the lawyer’s eyes, waiting for a reaction. But there was none. The incredulous and frozen gaze stayed as eyes alternated between Hoseok’s face and the hands he held tightly. A little bit of resistance came, but nothing that would have stopped him. “You,” Hyungwon started eventually, breathing harshly and sounding strongly affected by the situation. “If you don’t let me go immediately, I’ll drop your case.”  
  
Hoseok didn’t control his actions consciously at that moment. He wanted to say something cocky, but his mouth and hands didn’t listen. He took both of the lawyer’s palms in his left hand to prevent him from doing anything and reached for those red lips with his right hand. He touched them tenderly with his index finger. “Are you nervous? Your lips are really dry.” He was mesmerized by the sight of the red flesh moving under his touch.  
  
_I don’t give a fuck about the case_.

Everything consisted of the beautiful face looking at him in surprise. His hand went up and stroked Hyungwon’s cheek slowly. The lawyer was too beautiful for his own good. And for Hoseok’s mental health. His left hand still managed to put the caught hands back on their spot on Hyungwon's thighs. There was something strange about the whole situation. Hoseok didn't understand how he was angry and mad but everything was suddenly extirpated by Hyungwon’s ethereal beauty when he was close enough to him.

The lawyer licked his lips, tongue moving over the lower lip and switching to the upper one. His eyes didn't leave Hoseok’s eyes while doing that, staying completely immobile. A tender blush spread over his cheeks, making him look otherworldly in the light of the room.  
  
“Fuck, Hyungwon.” Hoseok looked at the face, those eyes, the lips and felt every resolution crumble in seconds.  
  
“I seriously can't handle you right now.”  
  
He stood up, got the key out of his pocket, bowed down, opened Hyungwon’s right hand and gently put the keys in it. He looked up, his eyes focusing on Hyungwon, hair messily in front of his eyes. He smiled, turned around and walked slowly towards his bedroom.

 

***

 

“Fuck, Hyungwon. I seriously can’t handle you right now.”

A warm hand placed a pointy object into his hand, closing his fingers around it tenderly.  
  
Shin Hoseok.

_No._

Hoseok was in front of him, blond strands covering his eyes and smiling the nicest smile Hyungwon had ever seen on a person. His breath was still unsteady and his heartbeat felt like an earthquake in his chest. Hoseok didn’t say anything else and stood up, white silhouette slowly disappearing through big double doors.

Hyungwon didn’t know what to do. He had never felt as helpless and insecure as he did a mere minute ago. Even now he was shivering, eyes unfocused and cheeks burning. His whole life no one had ever looked at him with the same intensity that Hoseok did. The other man didn’t get distracted no matter what Hyungwon attempted. His strength was ignored, his threat was ignored, even his insecurity and discomfort were ignored. And the worst was that he _didn’t even mind_.

Usually he would have had already screamed at the other man to let him go or he’d have sued him for something Hyungwon would have decided later on, but instead he had remained quiet. His lips still felt hot from when Hoseok brushed his finger over them and it scared Hyungwon. He wasn’t supposed to react like this. He had to feel angry and pissed and drop the case, but he didn’t. He just wanted Hoseok to come back and explain what the hell was going on. Why was he acting like this?

_Why am I reacting like this?_

The key pressed painfully into Hyungwon’s palm, a welcome sensation aiding him in calming down. “You can do this,” he whispered while standing up and glancing around the apartment. It felt strange being in someone else’s apartment without them around. And his manners didn’t allow him to leave without saying goodbye. He walked towards the double doors, but felt too afraid to walk in. Knocking slightly he tested out his voice, but it sounded broken. “Hoseok?” he called. Not waiting for an answer he continued. “I’ll get going now. T-thanks for the tonic water. I’ll contact you when there’s something new about the case.”

It sounded forced but he couldn’t help it. Having finished his attempt at a goodbye he left the apartment, took the elevator down to his car and sat down.

Looking at his reflection in the car mirror the blush on his cheeks was still obvious, pupils blown. Hyungwon moved a finger over his own lips. Why was Shin Hoseok so fascinated by them? A lot of people have pointed out that Hyungwon was beautiful before. He modelled as a teenager because of exactly that, long legs and a beautiful face. But no one had been as mesmerized as the man that was next to him a few moments ago. The image of Hoseok’s face mere inches away from his own, the gaze in those eyes was hard to describe. As if he was looking at something unbelievably precious.

_And that something was me._

But why didn’t Hyungwon do anything? Sure he was in shock, but this wasn’t the first time someone attempted to get close to him. It happened before and every time they learned a lesson. But not with Hoseok. He was supposed to be a client, but he kept getting under Hyungwon’s skin. Whether it was an insult or a touch. _Or a kiss._

_You wanted to know what he would do. You were waiting for it._

Hyungwon grabbed the steering wheel with force. He had to get home and occupy himself with work. The whole situation was too much and he had no resources to be dealing with this on top of all the cases he was working on. Stepping on the gas pedal he concentrated fully on the road ahead, visions of Hoseok’s face a breath away from his own banned to the back of his head.

When he arrived home he started sorting files into their respective folders and if order was established already he redid it. His hands needed something to focus on or he would have been going mad. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to be mentally preoccupied when meeting a police officer concerning a case.

By the time he had to get ready for the meeting he had already prepared most of the questions he was going to ask in addition to the folder with acquired information and he forwarded the email over the security server. He was dressed in the outfit of his choice and had cleaned most of the apartment although he had a very nice cleaning lady to take care of it. He was officially going mad.

As if wanting to prove how unstable he was, his private phone rang with another embarrassing rock track that he didn’t even know. Changkyun’s voice broke through the receiver like a bass box at a club.

“Hi Won, why did you leave the club like that yesterday? Me and Minhyuk were looking for you!” Although Changkyun made it sound like an accusation the likelihood of them actually looking for him was pretty low. They would have called, but Hyungwon had no idea what the other man was talking about.

“What club?”

The silence on the other line was uncomfortable. Finally Changkyun coughed and elaborated.

“Eh, that gin bar we went to? With high school friends? What the hell Hyungwon, are you okay?”

How could Hyungwon forget. The party at which Hoseok tried to take a woman home and he had stopped him getting ridiculously smashed at his place. And got kissed. Only to forget his key and be pressed into a couch, not moving and _waiting_ to be kissed. Of course, how could he forget.

Apparently his recollection of events had taken too long since Changkyun’s tone changed from playful to worried.

“Hyungwon, what the fuck happened?” Hyungwon wished he could have explained it, but it didn’t sound believable enough to his own brain yet. He needed to think about it himself and maybe he would eventually be able to tell someone else. Now wasn’t the time.

“Nothing happened. I was bored at that bar and went home as usual. Nothing special.”

The lack of an answer was indication enough that Changkyun didn’t believe a word.

“Have you and Hoseok talked?” Hyungwon considered saying something sarcastic but held back.

“Of course we did. Hoseok is my client.” The sharp intake of breath on the other line forced Hyungwon to backtrack on what he said. Something must have been off for Changkyun to react like that.

He didn’t have to wait long as Changkyun just muttered “You just called him Hoseok for fuck’s sake. You never call clients by their first name. I’m so calling that fucker,” before hanging up on Hyungwon.

 _Fuck_.

Hyungwon really hoped that Hoseok wasn’t a talker because he was neither ready to have a talk with Changkyun nor have Hoseok know that he was not fucking okay.

_Although he was not fucking okay._

Throwing the phone on the couch and leaving it there, Hyungwon hoped to not be disturbed from work until the end of next week or preferably even longer.

He drove to the meeting location and finally slid back into what he did best. Work.

 

***

 

Hoseok stared at the ceiling as he already did for the past two hours after almost losing control, creeping all expressions out of Hyungwon’s beautiful face, behaving like a cringe king and fucking off.

All in all nothing terrible happened, he remained as composed as he could considering the nature of his relationship to Hyungwon.

_What is your relationship to your lawyer anyway?_

He cut off the extremely uncomfortable thought and bathed in the vividness of his memories.

It would've been so easy to grab the back of his head, lean in, kiss those lips, slide his tongue in and taste him, stroke the tender blushed skin of his cheeks, hand touching his hair moving to his arms, his thighs. Grab his face with both hands to get drunk on his ethereal beauty. But Hyungwon’s startled expression didn't let him. He blushed, breathed heavily and looked partially scared. Hoseok couldn't take advantage of that. He was a cocky ass but he wasn't a person like that.

_Why not though?_

His brain was in dissonance. Why would he be so considerate towards a person he wanted to stab on a daily basis? Why did he black out when he saw him up close? Why did he want to talk to, see and touch a straight male person he had a business relationship with so badly?

It wasn't that hard to make a straight person want to have sex with him, his beauty and sex appeal affected both genders equally, but it wasn't the only thing he wanted from Hyungwon.

_Do you like him Hoseok?_

The realization hit him, he groaned and suppressed the wish to suffocate in the pillow.

Changkyun saved him by calling right at that moment.

“What did you do to Hyungwon? That guy behaves like confused jelly!” Changkyun roared into the phone

“Me? Nothing? Why, what did he say?” Hoseok became curious. Although it was obvious that he might have scared Hyungwon for life.

“He called you by your first name! Did you engage in something you shouldn't have? Is that why? He never does that. He is all over the place! You better not mess with him he's a nice guy!”

Wow, Changkyun was mad.

“I didn't. We didn't. Nothing happened Changkyun, don't shit yourself. Sorry I'm on my way to the studio, I'll call you later.” Hoseok wanted to hang up

“Don't fucking lie, your car is still at the club. Whatever, just call when you're ready to confess your sins.” Changkyun hung up. People hanging up on him became a routine apparently.

Right, he had to get his car, it was still there since Hyungwons cock-block move. He called a cab and went to the Gin bar while scrolling through his emails until a particular one caught his attention.

‘So I suppose you don't want to cooperate? You have 12 hours before it's published. Come up with something creative or let's bury your career together. It will be fun.’

The woman. Shit, he forgot why he and Hyungwon met in the first place. He hated himself for being such an ignorant fuck, Hyungwon tried to help him all this time and the only thing Hoseok could think of was how to get him in his sheets.

_Let's chop off your dick for good and live a peaceful life Wonho-ya._

He dropped himself in the driver's seat, buckled up, started the engine and called his lawyer's phone. Thankfully Hyungwon left his business card on their first meeting.

“Hyungwon we need to talk, where are you right now?” Hoseok was worried and determined at the same time.

“Uhm, on my way to a work-related meeting. Why?” Hyungwon was obviously dumbfounded

“Tell me the address. I'm going there.” Hoseok’s low voice sounded absent minded. After getting the information he needed, he hung up and accelerated.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Listen.”

To say that Hyungwon wasn't prepared for more company than he had agreed on was an understatement. His goal had been to drown in work and not have to deal with his confusion and frustration, but of course the cause of both of these decided to pop up at his business meeting.

Hoseok didn't even ask whether Hyungwon wanted him there. What if the business meeting was a completely different case. What was he even thinking?! Funnily enough Hyungwon's main concern was whether Hoseok changed that crazily cut shirt of his to something more appropriate. He wouldn't want Jeon to arrest Hoseok for indecent behaviour. Actually the other man's clothes hadn’t been that bad and rather on point as usual, but the thought of him getting arrested for dressing like that was amusing enough to make Hyungwon smile.

Smiling was good. It meant he kind of got himself out of panic mode. Having returned to his business-like self, it was easy to return to calling his client by last name. However he didn’t know how to explain Hoseok’s presence. Saying the client was there was kinda weird, especially out of nowhere. Jeon didn’t need to know Shin to do his job. Especially since Hyungwon wasn’t really allowed to take cases of people that stood in any close relation to him. Hoseok popping up like that looked everything but professional.

Drifting into the parking garage of the bar Hyungwon thought about why Hoseok - _Shin_ \- wanted to see him so suddenly. The situation had been left unresolved but Hyungwon was rather satisfied with having time to think. It was better this way. His eyes widened at the memory of the other man's last words. ‘I can't handle you right now’, he had said. And now he could? What did that even mean? Hyungwon never knew what Hoseok would do next. It was infuriating.

 _Just stay professional Hyungwon_.

Taking the elevator to the top floor, Hyungwon had to roll his eyes at Jeon’s exquisite taste. He had offered to pay for the police officer since he was doing him a favour, but of course the other picked the fanciest bar he could think of. Hyungwon repeated his internal reminder to ‘ _not_ drink like an idiot’ until he was standing in front of the entrance door. He really hoped that Shin wouldn’t crack his revolve like last time.

_Just don’t let it escalate Hyungwon._

Jeon was easy to find, sitting in a partially private booth at a window and sipping on a glas of white wine. The view was amazing and Hyungwon wrote a mental note to come back for a relaxing evening with Changkyun someday.

“Good evening Officer Jeon, how are you today?" he asked politely and sat down across the other man. The officer raised an eyebrow and took another glimpse at the beautiful city lights before turning his body completely towards Hyungwon. “Don’t be so tense Hyungwon. I’m out of uniform so relax please. This is unofficial anyway.”

Hyungwon tried to relax and threw the other man a smile. “Sorry Kook, work is being a bitch recently. Lots of stuff at once.” Jungkook just nodded in understanding, muttering ‘same,same’. Ordering himself a non-alcoholic cocktail with lots of lime, Hyungwon got right into business.

“As mentioned on the phone I need you to find a woman for me. She is blackmailing a client and I have a few details on her appearance and otherwise just an email. I have sent you the message data already and hope that you can find the source device for me.” He slid the few folders he prepared across the table towards Jungkook and the officer started looking through the various papers with interest.

“A cherry blossom tattoo sounds rather specific. Interesting. Must be some nasty blackmail I assume”. He grinned as if he had quite a few ideas on what kind of blackmail it was before turning his attention back to the pile of paper in front of him.

Hyungwon let his hands rest on his crossed legs and enjoyed the view. Next time he bought an apartment it would definitely be about this high. Hoseok was lucky enough to have an amazing view outside his living room. Hyungwon hadn’t had enough time to focus on it with all the pushing around he had to go through, but he saw enough to want something similar.

Although Jungkook seemed to expect a funny comment concerning his blackmailing theories Hyungwon ignored him and waited to hear a time estimation. He needed to hurry up a little if he wanted to get the case solved before he lost his goddamn mind.

Quick steps moved towards their table and Hyungwon looked back towards the entrance, just in time to see Hoseok walking over to them with a smile, looking completely calm and controlled, unlike the last time Hyungwon saw him. He stopped in front of the table and an obvious expression of surprise passed his face, body still clad in that poor excuse of a shirt.

“Good evening,” he greeted, smiling at Hyungwon and then looking to Jungkook. He stretched out his hand. “My name is Shin Hoseok. I’m a friend of Hyungwon. I am sorry if I’m interrupting, but I recognized him immediately and thought I’d say hello.” Another smile was thrown Hyungwon’s way and he wanted to sink into the cushions. This was strangely awkward.

Jungkook was much faster than Hyungwon to answer and smiled brightly at Hoseok as if he always had random people join his semi-official meetings. “Oh it’s a pleasure meeting you Shin Hoseok.” He grasped Hoseok’s hand tightly and shook it with vigor. “I’m Jeon Jungkook. Don’t worry about it. Hyungwon and me had been discussing something, but we are basically done so feel free to join us if you like.”   
  
That traitor.

Jungkook didn’t even see Hyungwon’s discomfort and just randomly invited people to their table just because they said they’re friends with Hyungwon. Anybody could have said that. Since when was Hoseok his friend?

_Friends don’t push each other against walls. Shin Hoseok, you might have missed that in the definition._

Without thinking for long Hoseok placed himself next to Jungkook across from Hyungwon and hinted at the waiter to bring him a Blanc de Noir. Then he just smiled and told Jungkook to continue their discussion freely.

Hoseok was fucking smooth and it was scary.

If he wanted to talk to Hyungwon so urgently why was he sitting there as if he came for a nice chat. It made Hyungwon uncomfortable. It was as if there was something going on and Hyungwon simply hadn’t seen it yet, like a snake waiting for you in the bushes but you walk through them obliviously, lulling yourself into a false sense of security. Sipping his cocktail hesitantly Hyungwon couldn’t help but watch Hoseok.

Jungkook interrupted him, but it was with good news.

“I guess I could manage this until tomorrow. The email isn’t secured at all and it looks like it might have been sent from a phone, which would make the tracking much easier.” The officer made some notes on his phone and went through some of the documents again. “I’ll just contact you as soon as I got her with name and address and the other things you need for a proper ‘warning issued by Chae Hyungwon the lawyer’.” Jungkook grinned and sipped some more of his wine. ‘No idea why you’re not drinking anything, but this wine is amazing. Thanks again for paying.” Hyungwon smiled at him, gesturing towards the menu. He was doing him a huge favour so there was no reason to hold back. Of course Jungkook didn’t.

After finishing his first wine he got into a lengthy description of why exactly he disliked his co-worker and Hyungwon tuned out, just to stare at Hoseok, who was staring right back. _Hallelujah._ When was their relationship finally going to be normal? Couldn’t Hoseok just announce himself properly. And if he really wanted to talk to Hyungwon couldn’t he do it in private? Was it so hard to wait until Hyungwon finished his meeting? Now he was sitting there in front of Hyungwon looking like a fucking meal and distracting him.

_Hyungwon, did you just think of your client as a meal? What the actual fuck?_

Needing a break Hyungwon excused himself and walked towards the restroom. Dim crystal lights covered the whole hallway, resembling the night sky. It was beautiful. Hyungwon wanted that in his bathroom. The tiles were black already, it shouldn't be hard to add some tiny crystal lights, thereby improving the feeling of the whole room. He could probably find someone who’d do that for money.

At the end of the hallway he finally found the male restroom and was again pleasantly surprised at the interior. For a bar this place was very clean. Black and red tiles covered the ground and the rest of the furniture was arranged in a mixture of gold and black. It looked fabulous. Not wasting too much time, Hyungwon relieved himself and washed his hands.

His reflection looked okay despite him having had two mental breakdowns in the past two days. He washed his face to get some healthy color to his face and smiled at his reflection. Now he should be able to deal with Hoseok. He looked refreshed, knew what he was doing and had sufficient amounts of business topics to talk about. Everything was going to be great.

The lawyer walked out of the bathroom into the night sky hallway just to watch his plans be thrown out of the window in a matter of seconds. Firm hands grabbed his shoulders and threw him against one of the crystal covered walls. White clothes, a ridiculously low cut shirt and ash-blond hair materialized before him. A Déjà Vu. However, instead of coming closer the strong hands started shaking him and throwing his shoulders against the wall repeatedly. Hyungwon felt dizzy.

“What the…” he began, but Hoseok just pressed him back against the wall and leaned forward until his lips were barely avoiding his ear. “Listen,” he started and the blood started boiling inside Hyungwon’s veins. _How fucking dare he?_

He grabbed the other man’s broad shoulders and used the resistance of the wall as a lever to push himself off and switch their positions. Now that he was pressing Shin Hoseok into the wall, the height difference was obvious. Hyungwon was towering over him and the usual smirk the other man wore was nowhere to be found. The only expression staring back at him was that of confusion. Eyes wide, just like Hyungwon had himself the last time they were in this position and mouth formed in a silent ‘o’. It was almost cute, but cute wasn't going to work on him. Hyungwon was fucking done with being pushed around like a paper doll. “No you listen,” he said and threw Hoseok the most intense and dominant glance he was capable off.

There was no way in hell that Hoseok could just push him around again without any consequences. Hyungwon was fucking done with being toyed with. If it wasn’t possible to control him through dropping the case, then Hyungwon just had to give him his own medicine. Bodily contact. He pushed his body further into the other man’s to keep him in place but Hoseok didn’t even attempt to release himself. What the fuck?

_Is he making fun of me? Does he think I can’t do anything?_

Just when Hoseok wanted to say something Hyungwon did exactly what the other man had done to him the day before. He released one shoulder and placed his index finger softly on the other man’s lips.  
  
“Shut up,” he whispered and leaned closer, enjoying how Hoseok’s heartbeat increased, pumping furiously in his chest. He loved that he was having such an effect on the other. For once the situation was reversed. Moving even closer, such that his breath was already tickling Hoseok’s face he moved his index finger lower, cupping his jaw. Gaze wandering from fingers on Hoseok’s jaw back up to his lips, Hyungwon focused on the other man’s face. His smell was exhilarating. Hoseok’s tongue left through parted lips and moved slowly over his mouth.

Something in Hyungwon short-circuited.

He pressed his chest impossibly closer to Hoseok, pressing down his shoulders with vigor at the same time and caught his lips with his own. The touch was unusual, but so so good. Hoseok's lips were impossibly soft against his, still moist from his tongue.  
  
Hyungwon was going to beat Hoseok at his own game. Unconsciously wanting to proof something Hyungwon bit Hoseok’s lower lip and licked inside the other man’s mouth as soon as his lips parted to allow him entrance. Hoseok was kissing him back. Hyungwon explored the other man's mouth with his tongue, passionately licking and biting. Hoseok sucked on his tongue in return answering Hyungwon with as much desperation as he was giving him.

The lawyer’s senses were on overdrive, everything was too fast, too intense and Hoseok’s scent was intoxicating. He wanted more, but wasn’t quite sure how to get more yet. Hoseok answered that question easily by licking his upper lip and circling an arm around his waist. The wish to just let go and relax in his arms was overwhelming but Hyungwon kept himself steady and answered with a quick lick over Hoseok tongue.

_Fuck it was worth it._

When Hoseok pulled him close there was no need to keep himself up anymore. The strength with which Hoseok pulled him against his body was immense and the taste of his skin ethereal. Hyungwon circled one arm around Hoseok’s neck and the other on the back of his head, pulling Hoseok by his hair to deepen the kiss.

_Wait._

Something was pressing very firmly against his thigh right at the point his body was connected with Hoseok’s allowing no space between the two. Hyungwon stopped breathing.

 _Oh my fucking god_.

He tried to calm himself instead of panicking and loosened his hand on the soft strands of Hoseok’s hair. The other man had acted independently and broke the kiss at almost the same time. Eyes wide, lips swollen and breath irregular he stared at him. Hyungwon must have looked the same judging by the pulsing sensation in his lips. He had no idea what to do. As if sensing the right moment Hoseok handled the situation instead, taking a deep breath and lifting his arms as a gesture.

“Listen.”

 

***

 

No matter how much Hoseok thought about the whole situation, it didn't make any sense. He told himself that he wouldn't bother Hyungwon with his strange, confusing feelings anymore. They were just client and lawyer, straight lawyer and not so straight client.

Hoseok admitted that he might have lost control over his body once while pinning the tall, handsome man against the wall and placing his lips on his for no reason. But the kiss had been innocent and one could've considered it a small mistake.  
  
_Yeah right, Hoseok._

The current situation was of a completely different type though. Hyungwon, this person pinned him against the wall in a corridor located in a fancy bar and almost ate his soul through his mouth.

Hoseok didn't even think about doing something inappropriate. He just needed to talk to him about the woman without the Jeon guy noticing. The whole set-up was weird already, Hoseok went to the table and introduced himself as Hyungwon’s friend and the other guy invited him to take a seat.

Hoseok couldn't talk about the dick pic case in front of Hyungwon’s work related friends so he waited for the right moment to catch Hyungwon alone, to tell him how serious the situation was and already made up his mind that begging was kind of an option too.

The perfect timing was reached when Hyungwon went to the restroom, so Hoseok excused himself and followed the lawyer shortly after that. He decided to wait in front of the men's restroom and almost missed the tall figure gracefully walking past him. He closed the distance in three steps and grabbed Hyungwon by his shoulders turning and pinning him to the wall to prevent him from entering the bar area.  
  
_It was necessary for the sake of his case._

He looked Hyungwon in the eyes and wanted to explain how fucked he was but something absolutely ridiculous happened instead. Hyungwon’s facial expressions hardened, his arms used all the strength they were able to mobilize, turned Hoseok around and pinned him to the exact same fucking wall.

_Whatever._

Hoseok had something to say so he started talking, but his speech had been interrupted by Hyungwon’s index finger covering his lips. The lawyer’s expression was hard to read, eyes narrowed, lips slightly parted, hard grip on Hoseok’s shoulder, finger softly stroking his bottom lip. Hyungwon’s face came closer slowly until Hoseok could basically see his own reflection in the lawyers pupils. Hyungwon cupped his jaw.  
  
_Wait what?_

Hoseok desperately wanted to tell Hyungwon that he misunderstood, that he didn't get what was going on there, that he, Hoseok, behaved nice for once and really needed help.

He licked his lips, preparing a rational explanation, as Hyungwon closed the distance.

The lawyer pressed those luscious lips on Hoseok’s with an insane force and buried his teeth in his lower lip. Pain shot through Hoseok’s brain but he immersed himself in the sensations coming from that mouth, biting and kissing his lips.

Hoseok licked at Hyungwon’s upper lip until he felt the lawyer’s warm tongue moving into his mouth. His synapses went nuts, his whole body was tingling, skin burning. Hyungwon licking into his mouth, biting, breathing heavily, it was too much to handle.

Hoseok grabbed Hyungwon’s slim waist and pulled him until their bodies almost melted into each other. Hyungwon’s hands over his neck, stroking his hair. Hoseok was hard, fuck. _  
__  
__You need to stop._ _  
__  
_ Now, or this would've escalated in something he wasn't sure was a good idea. Hoseok interrupted the kiss and stared at Hyungwon’s red cheeks, chest moving from heavy breathing, shiny eyes looking at him, red parted lips, swollen from the harsh kisses.  
  
_FUCK. Hoseok no._

He toyed with the idea of running away to prevent more damage but remembered what he was actually there for. He had no clue what actually happened and how it happened, but he needed to tell Hyungwon about the woman.

“Listen, I don't know what the fuck happened just now and I'm amazed I was able to stop, but I'm really sorry for everything I should be sorry for. You need to help me, Hyungwon. The woman, she said I have 12 hours and 2 of them already passed.”

Hoseok must've looked desperate. Parted lips, sweaty forehead, blush on his cheeks begging for Hyungwon to help him, hand still on his waist. He didn't care, he was prepared for begging on his knees. What he wasn't prepared for was Hyungwon making a complete, sweaty lusting mess out of him.

It required so much of his resources to prevent himself from doing something to Hyungwon, who stood in front of him in that insanely messed up state.  
  
_Hoseok you're old enough. Hoseok your dick is not an appropriate substitute for brains. Hoseok just say something, NOW._  
  
“Listen up Hyungwon, you will be a good boy and do what I tell you to do right now. You will go to the restroom, wash your insanely beautiful face and go back to join Jeon Jungkook in a casual ‘whatever’ conversation. I will go to the restroom to take care of the messy state my body is in because of you.” Hoseok felt Hyungwon’s gaze on his crotch.  
  
“Yes, exactly.” Hyungwon needed to calm down fast to be able to act like a normal person and Hoseok would help him. He took his hand and led him back into the men's restroom.  
  
“Look at yourself. This is not how you should look like when coming back from urinating, don't you think?” Hoseok smiled at Hyungwon’s reflection in the mirror. “Now wash your face and don't wait for me. I might need 5 minutes.”

“Shin Hoseok are you kidding me? I'm not 12.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes after finally getting out of his trance. That was until Hoseok mentioned his five minute plans. After those Hyungwon just shut up, turned to the sink and started washing his face. “You know that I washed my face right before leaving the restroom earlier. To get my shit together cause you just decided to pop up at my meeting,” he murmured.  
  
“Amazing. Do you think this is the main problem right now? Whether you washed your face or not? Can't you fucking see? Look at yourself, if Jeon has some common sense, which he sure does, he will immediately know what happened.” Hoseok tried not to get mad.

Hyungwon rubbed at his face furiously before drying it off. “I get it.” As soon as his face was mainly coloured from rubbing it too much instead of making out in the hallway he turned around and leaned against the sink. “And now?”  
  
“I really want to say something about you biting my lip bloody, but I liked it too much so I'll shut up. You will go out and be that professional lawyer you want to be. And I'll come after I've taken care of this mess.” Hoseok looked down at his crotch and went into a cabin.

He heard Hyungwon leaving with the words 'don't think of me too much', door falling shut with a hollow sound. He thought about running after him, but his senses came back eventually.  
  
Hoseok closed the cabin door. How could he not think about what happened mere moments ago. His imagination and memory were excellent, so there were rarely occasions in which the reality surpassed the imagination. Today was definitely one of those days. Hyungwon was not only handsome. This man was not only the most beautiful person Hoseok had ever seen, but also the hottest person Hoseok had ever seen.

The lawyer just pinned him against the wall and bit his lip bloody, grabbed him by the hair, almost grinded his hips right in the angle where Hoseok was sure he would have cum right away. His firm but thin body reacted so much to Hoseok’s touch.

Hoseok became so greedy he couldn't stop. After grabbing his erection his memory offered him every single sensation of the last couple of minutes on a plate. Hyungwon licking inside his mouth while pressing his chest against his, his hand grabbing Hoseok’s blonde hair to deepen the kiss, Hoseok pulling him against his erection. His face so fucked up, red swollen lips, breathing heavily, huge eyes looking at Hoseok.

He imagined how Hyungwon would look like with his dick in his mouth, those smooth red lips moving up and down. He only needed a couple of strokes to finish this torture. He prevented himself from moaning Hyungwon’s name and stayed for three more minutes to get those images out of his head. Unsuccessfully.  
  
Hyungwon wasn't only fucking with his libido, he was also fucking with his mind on top of that. _  
_  
_Shit._

  
***

  
Hyungwon stopped as soon as he left the restroom and leaned against the wall that he had spent pressing Hoseok against moments ago. He had no intention of being a creep and waiting in front of the door, unlike someone else, but he didn’t feel ready enough to see Officer Jeon without seeming suspicious. He ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it down and fixing his white shirt. Luckily he didn’t sweat and ruin the fabric too much. Worst case he’d point out he had an upset stomach or something. Reason enough to sweat and look like shit.

Hyungwon felt like his pride hurt. A little bit at least. He had attempted to get the upper hand by pressing Hoseok into the wall but the whole situation escalated again. It was almost a tradition as soon as the two of them met.  
He didn’t know why he kissed him. It hadn’t been his previous plan, that one didn’t go as far as pressing his tongue into his client’s mouth.  
  
_Shit, Hyungwon you just made out with your client. With your male client._  
  
Hyungwon swallowed the outburst of panic down with force. He had to get out there and talk like a normal person. Hoseok was being bossy as fuck (mainly the reason why Hyungwon’s pride hurt) but he had a point. Considering what a mess Hyungwon was, Hoseok was perfectly under control.

_Except for the fact that he’s probably jerking off right this instant while you are standing in front of the restroom door._

Most likely even thinking of him. Hyungwon felt the blood rush upwards again and thought of the most distracting thing he managed. How pissed off he was that Hoseok just controlled him no matter what he did. It was getting tiring. There he had been trying to show Hoseok that he wasn’t a pushover and in the end he just did whatever Hoseok told him to do. It was infuriating up to the point where Hyungwon stopped thinking about the fact that he made out with a man in a public place. Almost.

He pushed himself off the wall, took another deep breath and walked towards the table by the window. Jungkook was occupied with staring outside the window. As soon as Hyungwon sat down he turned around and looked a little worried. “You sure you’re okay? You look a little uncomfortable.” He wasn’t making fun of him and seemed genuinely worried. Hyungwon must have done a good enough job then, but he couldn’t suppress the need for a little bit of revenge. “I’m fine, just a lot of work and I almost fell asleep at the sink to be honest. I’d be more worried about Hoseok though. Must have eaten something bad.” Jungkook nodded with sympathy and pushed his wine towards Hyungwon. “Need a sip?”

Hyungwon just tried not to grin at his childish behaviour and rejected the offered wine. He was definitely not drinking now. His brain was messed up enough. He very much doubted that it would get any better with alcohol.  
  
_You’d probably switch the making out in semi-public to actually making out in public_.  
  
He shivered. “Man you really don’t look well though,” Jungkook emphasized and grabbed his shoulder as if in support. Hyungwon almost screamed at him to fucking stop touching his shoulders all the time, but Jungkook didn’t know and meant well. No reason to overreact.

Gaze moving from his cocktail glass to the folders he had prepared for Jungkook his brain remembered a very important detail.

_If you want to win your case you better hurry the fuck up, Hyungwon._

Taking a sip from his cocktail Hyungwon considered his options. He hated pressuring people, but the desperation on Hoseok’s face was too much to ignore. He wanted to be able to bring him good news.

“Actually Jungkook, about finishing it tomorrow. How difficult would it be to do it tonight?” Jungkook spluttered and placed his wine glass down on the table.

“Tonight?!” he almost screamed through the bar. Hyungwon placed a finger to his lips and looked around, hoping no one was paying too much attention to them. Then he explained.

“The woman wrote another email with a deadline. We have 12 hours before the blackmail picture she took will circulate the media if we’re lucky and the internet if we’re unlucky. I don’t want to let it get that far. She better be scared. I can try to take care of the media, but I can’t take care of her unless you give me information.”

Jungkook stared at him, mouth open until he caught himself and nodded. “Sounds shitty man. I’ll do it, but you fucking owe me.” Hyungwon sighed in relief. At least that would be taken care of quickly. He just needed to contact every media outlet that would be even lightly interested in publishing the pictures and then he was done until Jungkook had the information for him. He considered calling her instead of writing a letter. He was pretty good with scaring people over the phone.  
  
Hyungwon felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Hey guys, sorry I think I ate some low quality food.” Hoseok smiled one of those ‘I-don't-care-what-you-did-but-I’ll-forgive-you-because-you’re-so-beautiful-smiles.’ Did he hear what Hyungwon told Jungkook about him? Jungkook was oblivious as usual and just nodded in sympathy. Unfortunately he also elaborated further. “Yeah Hyungwon told me your stomach was giving you trouble.”

 _Great Hyungwon_. _And that’s why childish actions are never rewarded, just get back to being the greater human being and act professional and keep your distance._  
  
“I am always so thankful because Hyungwon takes care of me and worries about my well-being.” Hoseok pulled the dick-move directly into Hyungwon’s face. The lawyer wanted to break his cocktail glass against the table and stab Hoseok with a shard of it.

 _Where the hell did that come from_?

The comment was unusual enough to even get to Jungkook. He glanced at Hyungwon with surprise. “Oh really? I didn’t take him for the caring type. How did you guys meet, Hoseok? I can say Hoseok right?”

Hyungwon had no idea what the hell was going on. There was no way that Hoseok could tell him they met because of a case, since that would be really unprofessional. What the hell was he going to say? Hyungwon looked back and forth between the two men, one of which was still standing behind him with a hand on his shoulder for some reason.  
  
“Of course you can say Hoseok. You are Jungkook right? We’ve met because of a mutual friend and became reeeeeally close.” Hoseok grinned. This fucker. Hyungwon was never going down without a fight. He plastered a smile on his face and laughed lightly.

“Yeah it was kinda funny actually. Hoseok got really drunk at a party and tried to come onto me for some reason.” He winked at Hoseok and laughed again for emphasis. Jungkook laughed, so it was working.  
  
Hoseoks buried his nails into Hyunwon’s tender skin and Hyungwon barely suppressed a jelp. That fucking hurt, but Hoseok didn’t let go. Instead he leaned in until lips were brushing Hyungwon’s earlobe.  
  
“You better not provoke me today, unless you want to experience how it feels like, if I come on to you.” Hoseok smiled through the hissed threat. Hyungwon threw him a glare, since he didn’t want to be too obvious about all the whispering going on. And fuck that boy had some strength in his fingers. The lawyer turned back to Jungkook who was looking at them curiously.

“How so?" Jungkook asked eventually. The pressure in his shoulder increased and Hyungwon had no idea how Hoseok expected him to give a reasonable answer while suffering from such abuse. Throwing Jungkook another amused smile Hyungwon decided for the partial truth. “He kept complimenting my dancing and had a strange fascination with my lips.”

Jungkook started laughing uncontrollably. “That’s not coming on Hyungwon.” He laughed some more. “Every-fucking-body has a weird fascination with your lips.” After taking a long sip of his glass of wine and shifting slightly on the bench, making more room for Hoseok he added that he was an exception because he was way too straight.

_Straight._

Hyungwon really had no resources to think about stuff like that, so he didn’t and just buried his fingers into Hoseok’s thigh behind his back, such that nobody could see. Fucker’s gonna get his own medicine. He also wanted to add a little bit to that whisper-argument Hoseok started. Since Hoseok was still leaning down he was close enough to hear it when Hyungwon whispered.

“And what are you gonna do? Kiss me again? I’m pretty sure I’m over that by now.”

“I'm not sure whether you know what you are doing there Chae Hyungwon but I'll be a nice person and ignore it once.” Hoseok murmured back while the tension escalated in a matter of seconds. Again. Hyungwon couldn't help feeling satisfied though. He had managed the get the last word again. Unfortunately they completely forgot Jungkook who was staring at them curiously, a grin slowly spreading on his lips.

“Are you guys having some kind of argument?”

Hyungwon decided to be the smarter one and shook his head. “We just really like riling each other up.” Probably one of the most truthful things he had said that night. However as much as Hoseok and him were prone to escalation he needed to get to work if Hoseok wanted to keep his ass save.

Drowning the last drops of his cocktail, Hyungwon placed the glass back on the table and removed Hoseok's hand from his shoulder. “As much as I enjoy your company I really want you to find that address for me Jungkook. Furthermore I also have quite some media outlets to contact and a deadline on top of that.” Jungkook stood up as well and gave Hyungwon a reassuring smile. “Twelve hours aren't much, but don't worry it should be possible.”

Feeling energized and in control Hyungwon paid for all drinks, Hoseok’s included and walked over to the stairs with long strides. He had enough energy to run down, so he quickly passed the over 30 floors until he arrived at his car.

Sitting down on the soft leather he turned on the heater because it was getting pretty cold in a thin shirt only and started his calling spree. His to do list was finally enough to last him a while.

This was going to be a long night.

 

***

 

Hoseok decided it was all in all a bad idea to think about what happened in the corridor, so he drove to his studio and started working on songs he wanted to finish last week.  
  
_Hyungwon fucks up my working schedule._

Hoseok let out a strained sigh.

_Yeah and everything else._

Hands on the keyboard, turning the mixing machine on, clicking the parts to play next, Hoseok realized once again how much he loved his job. The familiar routine calmed his nerves, beats pumped through his headphones and his body relaxed on the expensive ergonomic chair.

An unknown number lit up on his phone screen and he picked up.

“Shin Hoseok speaking?” He waited for the person to speak.

“You have a really nice voice you know that? Could listen to it on repeat,” a woman on the other side of the line said and paused.

“Uhm I think you dialed the wrong number miss.” He did have a nice voice though.

“No no, you are the one I wanted to talk to Shin Hoseok. Did you like the picture I took? I have more from different angles, want me to show you?” It was her. Hoseok’s heart started beating fast and an indefinable mass of thoughts flashed through his brain.

“What do you want from me? Why are you like this?” He didn't do anything wrong to be treated like that. Besides the fact that he could remember her vagina better than her name.

“I'm not surprised that you can't remember what you did wrong. Let's meet-up and talk about this matter. I'm willing to prolong your deadline until the dick collage goes public. I'll write you the location.” She hung up.

 _Fuck_.

Fingers shaking Hoseok pressed the call button until a familiar voice groaned into the speaker.

“Hoseok what the fuck it's 1 AM you better be dying or something." Changkyun’s sleepy voice almost made him feel guilty, but he had no time for stuff like that.

“Give me Hyungwon’s home address, it’s an emergency. It's about the woman.” He talked so fast that it was hard to understand.

“He lives three blocks from you in the black 20 floor building, 14th floor apt. 13. Aren't you close already? Why don't you know stuff like that?” Changkyun said obviously annoyed. He most likely wanted to go back to sleep as soon as possible, without further interruptions.

“Thank you, you're a real friend.” Hoseok hung up, grabbed his leather jacket and sprinted towards the parking lot.

Hoseok couldn't find a parking spot next to the skyscraper so he just drove the car back home and jogged those three blocks, like a crazy person. It took about 7 minutes and Hoseok was a complete mess when he arrived at the fancy building.  
  
_A sweaty, scared mess. What a perfect state to appear in front of your lawyer’s private apartment._

Hoseok entered the building and was amazed at the classical music playing in the hall combined with light brown walls and exquisite interior. He nodded to the security guard, trying to look as calm as possible, holding his messed up breath and walked to the elevator. His finger hesitated for a moment before he made up his mind and pressed the 14.

The apartment building was very luxurious. Hoseok imagined what Hyungwon’s apartment would look like. He would find out in a couple of minutes, if Hyungwon was at home and willing to let him in that is. Brown wooden door in front of his eyes, apartment 13, no name on it, Hoseok pressed the bell twice and tried to breathe steadily.

 _Why are you like this, because of running, the woman or Hyungwon_?  
  
He had no idea.

Steps sounded behind the door, which was rather quick considering it was 1 AM and normal people slept around this time. The door opened, revealing Hyungwon in all his glory, wearing comfy sweat pants and a gigantic white shirt. A phone was pressed between his his ear and shoulder, listening intently to whatever the person on the other end was saying.

As soon as he recognized Hoseok his eyes widened and he switched the arm holding the phone. “I'm sure we have understood each other Mr. Wallen. I'm expecting to hear from you,” he spoke with a low and dominant voice and hung up. It was a little funny, because he was dressed so casually. Nevertheless his gaze didn't leave Hoseok's sweaty form throughout the exchange.

“What gives me the honour of such a late night visit?”

Hoseok walked in taking off his shoes and going in the direction he supposed the living room would be. Unfortunately it wasn't. Purple walls, delicate lighting, black wool carpet, a mahogany king size bed with lilac silk sheets on it. Hoseok was in serious trouble. He honestly thought about slapping himself because the vivid image of naked Hyungwon in this porn like bedroom didn't leave his head.

“Uhm, I doubt you came for something that would be in my bedroom.” Hyungwon sounded amused. Why wouldn't he, considering Hoseok’s idiotic behaviour.

“I might next time, but not now…where is your living room? We need to talk.” Hoseok gained his senses back and cut off the inappropriate thought.

Hyungwon laughed and led Hoseok through a hallway and past a gigantic open kitchen to a spacious room with one whole wall being a window, but it wasn't high enough to show the city lights as well as Hoseok's did. The lawyer pointed to a big comfortable couch.

“You want to talk to me a lot recently. Get comfortable.” He walked over to a black mini bar at the corner. “What would you like?” Hyungwon looked from Hoseok's hair to his chest and finally to his hands. “A shower?" he suggested instead.

“You mean I try to talk to you, but you suck my soul out of my body instead.” Hoseok smiled widely. ”And regarding your suggestion, yeah, thank you.” Hyungwon surely wasn't expecting the reaction, but Hoseok did need a shower, after all the running, sweating and being scared.

Hoseok took of his shirt without any further warning and went over to Hyungwon while holding it in his hand. “Where's the bathroom?” he asked and a smirk appeared on his lips when he saw Hyungwon’s shocked face staring at his bare torso.

“Just show me where it is. I ran here so I'm sweaty as fuck." Hoseok touched his defined chest and went over his visible abs, drawing the shape with his fingers while looking at Hyungwon’s face. Hyungwon’s expression changed. His eyes widened, blush appeared on his cheeks, lips parted while a smooth tongue ran over them repeatedly. The lawyer held onto the corners of the bar counter as if afraid to lose balance.

“Damn it Hyungwon! I really don't want to do inappropriate stuff in your bathroom but you are making it extremely hard by looking like this.” Hoseok turned away and went to look for the bathroom by himself. Hyungwon was a constant threat to his mental stability.

The bathroom was as luxurious as the whole apartment, black granite floor, triangular bathtub and a huge glass shower cabin. ' _One can easily fit two people in there_ ,' Hoseok thought, but reminded himself to stay professional.

_You’re professional as fuck, showering at your lawyer's house._

The shower felt really nice though. He washed himself with Hyungwon’s ridiculously nice smelling shower gel only to realize that he didn't have clean clothes. Hyungwon would need to help him out with that part. He put the first white towel he could find over his hips and went out to ask Hyungwon for spare clothes and finally tell him about the call he received.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just don't want him to go, because you're afraid of your thoughts. Don't shit yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We cant't wait to hear what you think about this!

For some reason Hoseok had a very strong affinity for popping up in front of Hyungwon's face and confusing the shit out of him. First he just ran to his bedroom like a mad person, looking sweaty and face glistening under Hyungwon's fancy semi-black light. It was kind of beautiful, although it should have been disgusting. Then he continued looking sweaty and breathy and ruining Hyungwon's resolve to stay professional. He was at his own home god damnit. The thought helped.

Hyungwon felt in control and comfortable enough in his apartment, so he wanted to tease Hoseok a little. The other man looked so done that it should have been easy to rile him up and get away with it. So Hyungwon made fun of his sweaty state and offered him a shower instead of a drink.

Of course Hoseok had to remind him of how he had jumped his client in a hallway, sharing spit. The memory spread an uncomfortable pulling in his groin and Hyungwon ignored it as much as he could. Instead of giving Hyungwon an incredulous look at the stupid idea of taking a shower at his lawyer's place Hoseok just took his fucking shirt off.

_What the actual fuck Shin Hoseok?_

Hyungwon doubted that his eyes had ever been as wide as they were at that moment. How could anybody look like that? Hoseok's upper body was shaped like those Greek statues Hyungwon loved looking at in the Metropolitan Art Museum, every muscle defined, pecs firm and nipples hard at skin meeting the cold air. The sweat just complimented the picture by reflecting the light from Hyungwon's designer lamp. How could _anybody_ look like that? Hyungwon was really a stick in comparison and he hated it.

Curiosity about how those muscles would feel under his long fingers numbed his sanity and blood rushed to his cheeks. Feeling unstable he grabbed the mini bar, holding himself up by leaning against it. His lips felt unpleasantly dry so he licked them repeatedly, but it didn't help.

Apparently Hoseok had asked him something, because he commented on Hyungwon looking like something to be ravished and wanting to jerk off in his shower. Hyungwon barely stopped himself from whispering ‘Yes please.’ What the hell was wrong with him? What did he want to do? Watch his client jerk off in his shower? How fucked up was that? “Oh god,” Hyungwon murmured, not loud enough for his client to hear.

Only when Hoseok left the living room Hyungwon managed to breathe properly. He sank down next to the minibar and really worried about where this was going. He still had to start the lawsuit and save Hoseok's dignity and he really didn't want to lose his own on the way. He didn't mind Hoseok losing more clothes though if that was an option. Just to feed Hyungwon's current fascination with the male body. For science.

Hyungwon face palmed. Hard.

The pain was vibrant enough to stop his ridiculous line of thought and get the blood rushing somewhere else. He grabbed a bottle of red wine he opened one week ago from the bar, drinking a few gulps right from the neck. He felt like an alcoholic but that wasn't bad enough to not do it. In addition it wasn't enough to have any negative effect on his reasoning abilities.

Feeling more stable he stood up and sat down on his favourite couch. His two blankets that he loved curling up in were lying folded on the side and Hyungwon felt a little embarrassed about having them there. He got cold quickly so he needed that shit, no judging please. The temptation to curl up now was pretty strong but he just sat down and crossed his legs, arms resting folded on top of his knee. Now he just needed to stay like that until Hoseok returned. He wanted to look professional and wasn't going to let his client get under his skin again.

_When will you stop lying to yourself, Hyungwon?_

Apparently never, because Hoseok re-entered the living room wearing absolutely nothing except for a tiny towel. And obviously his chest wasn't the only muscular part about his body. Hoseok was evil enough to not take a proper body towel but one of those insignificant hand towels that were definitely not meant to be placed around anyone's hips. The towel barely covered his dick and the white color wasn’t too far from the paleness of his thick thighs. It looked like cream and fucking delicious.

_And you know that his thighs aren't the only thick thing, Hyungwon._

_Fucking Hell. Fuck._

Hyungwon really wanted to suffocate on something and thereby not find himself in this situation. He was truthfully sitting in his living room, looking at his client in a non-existent towel and thinking about his dick, his gigantic I-have-seen-it-on-a-pic-and-know-it’s-real dick. How the hell did he get there?

Hoseok slowly slid his thumb under the border of the towel under his navel as if to answer his question. When the thumb stayed there Hyungwon realized that time didn't stop, his brain did. Shit, how long had he been sitting there checking out Hoseok's body?

Hyungwon looked up quickly to stare at his face instead of his naked skin. At Hoseok's shamelessly grinning face. “Why aren't you wearing anything?" Hyungwon asked finally. It was one of the dumbest questions he ever asked but his brain didn't manage anything better.

“I am sorry, but you might need to give me clothes if you don't want me to run around your house in this towel. I mean I wouldn't mind but...,” Hoseok smirked, being the fucking tease that he was.

“I wouldn't mind eit-” Hyungwon stopped himself before the words left his mouth. “Give me a second I'll find something,” he called quickly instead and speed walked to his bedroom. Getting into the walk-in closet he was confronted with a mass of suits that Hoseok would never even dream of pulling over his rock hard thighs and arms. Thinking of Hoseok's naked crotch he was forced to think further than pants and a shirt.

“Would you like underwear, too?" he called towards the living room.

“If you’d like me to wear any, yeah.” Hoseok stood directly behind him and his naked body was mere centimetres away. The air felt warm on Hyungwon's skin from Hoseok's body heat. Shit, Hyungwon really wanted to touch him and he wasn't even gay.

“I don't think it's about what I want you to wear Hoseok. And yes, please do.” Hyungwon stepped further into the wardrobe to put some distance between their bodies and looked for underwear in addition to some really loose sweatpants he owned and the biggest t-shirt he could find. It felt awkward to roam through his shelves filled with tight boxers in front of Hoseok. When he finally found a pair he grabbed the sweatpants he decided on plus a huge white t-shirt and pushed all of it into Hoseok's arms.

“Come out when you finished changing,” he said, leaving the bedroom and closing the door soundly behind him.

Why was his client being like this? They were supposed to have suit conversations. Not chill in sweatpants and t-shirt in his apartment. Hyungwon was so fucking close to losing his shit. Why did Hoseok even come?! He hadn't told him yet…

_Why didn’t you him ask him about it Hyungwon?_

Hyungwon walked back and forth in front of his bedroom door until he realized that's only something people in panic do, so he took a deep breath and moved back to the living room. The two blankets still lay in their designated spot as if laughing at him and he pushed them under the couch. He'd get them when he'd be alone again and could freely be his lazy, shivering self.

Not knowing what to do with himself until Hoseok left his bedroom he threw himself on the couch chair, head leaning against the armrest, arm lying on top of his eyes and endlessly long, slim legs hanging over the side. That way he could keep it dark and wouldn't have to see the eternal sin that was Shin Hoseok.

When Hoseok entered the living room Hyungwon only heard a sharp intake of breath, but he fought his curiosity and kept his eyes closed. “How the hell am I supposed to talk to you when you are being like this?” Hyungwon couldn't resist moving his arm to the side, freeing one eye and glaring at Hoseok. He immediately regretted it.

The sweatpants were riding impossibly low on Hoseok's hips barely covering him and the t-shirt which was huge on Hyungwon was completely filled out with firm muscles. Hyungwon should have given him a black shirt. The outline of his nipples was easily traceable through the white fabric without much effort and Hyungwon did exactly that. He groaned and covered his eyes again.

“You're the one to talk,” Hyungwon complained after throwing his dangling legs a look and not understanding what Hoseok’s problem was. Nevertheless he sat up and spread his legs, pulling one leg towards his chest, hugging it and letting the other rest on the floor.

“Not better,” Hoseok commented and sank into the soft cushions of the couch. The ones Hyungwon had washed after sleeping on them after getting drunk at Hoseok's place. Cushions that would probably smell like Hoseok and Hyungwon's shower gel after this. He wasn't even angry about Hoseok using it, which meant that he was way past salvation already.

“But it's serious this time. The girl called me,” Hoseok started with desperation and that vulnerable expression that Hyungwon saw on him before he kissed him returned to his face. The other man was really worried about this.

Hyungwon straighten his back and mentally prepared himself. This was serious, this was work. He could do this. Getting his brain out of his ass he gave Hoseok an intense nod.

“Shoot.”

Hoseok didn't even take a proper breath before a heap of word vomit left his mouth. “Listen she called me and said that she had a huge collection of pictures of my dick and she wants to release them and I don't know what to do and she didn't even tell me what she actually wants from me except that my voice is attractive which is true but still doesn't explain anything so she-”

“Hoseok.” The onslaught of words finally stopped as Hoseok stared at Hyungwon, waiting for a response and looking like a kicked puppy, fear and desperation deeply engraved in his features and body language. Hyungwon couldn't help thinking about how unfair it was that a person that looked so cute sometimes and didn't know how to deal with pressuring situations had such a big dick.

“Take a deep breath and tell me what's the point of this.”

Hoseok did as he was told, breathing deeply and continued while making a lot more sense. “Basically she called me asking me for a meeting. She already sent me the address and expects me to be there tomorrow at noon. Well actually today to be exact.” Hoseok was looking expectantly at Hyungwon as if he was going to bring salvation to his people.

Luckily Hyungwon wasn't too far from that. “Relax,” he started, doing what Hoseok had once done for him and bringing the other man a cold glass of water, watching him drink it to the bottom. Of course while staring at his throat like a creep. Once Hoseok finished drinking Hyungwon sat back down on the couch chair and began his prep talk.

“Okay Hoseok, now you'll answer her saying that you'll meet her, okay? Preferably make it sound as desperate as you usual sound. I'm going to prepare some lawsuit applications, so that everything is done and scary enough when I see her.” A stray thought passed through his head that might’ve been even better. “She called you on your phone right? Can I see the number?”

Hoseok disappeared through the living room doors, reappearing with his phone in his hands. He probably took it out from the clothes he came in, leaving them in Hyungwon's bathroom. “She didn't send any more pics though,” Hoseok commented while handing the phone over.

“Too bad,” Hyungwon sneered with sarcasm, but knowing it wasn't as sarcastic as it should be. He grabbed the phone and looked through the recent calls. As expected an unknown mobile phone number was written as the contact before the last.

The last being Changkyun. Hyungwon was going to kill him for telling Hoseok his address.

“As expected,” Hyungwon said with a smile and returned the phone. “Now listen to me. I have an even better idea. You'll call her now and tell her that you'll come to the meeting, please be desperate and confused. If she's the one picking up we know it's her phone and I can give the info to officer Jeon and be prepared with her name and personal information when I go to the meeting. Understood?”

Hoseok nodded, still looking very close to panic and Hyungwon fought the urge to give him a hug. Since that was unprofessional he presented a genuine smile to Hoseok, hoping it would calm him down to follow through with the plan without problems.

It was starting to get interesting and Hyungwon's fingers tingled with excitement. He really couldn't wait to see that woman and rip her to shreds.

 

***

 

Hoseok decided not to get his hormones messed up by Hyungwon anymore. He just wanted something to wear. At least before Hyungwon stared at his body for three damn minutes eating him up with his eyes, going from crotch to thighs to chest and back. Hoseok was not okay. The realization of how bad this whole showering idea was hit him like a wrecking ball.

He was proud of himself for being able to talk to Hyungwon about the woman calling his phone and the lawyer managed to calm him down, at least until he told him to call her back. Hoseok tried to be more relaxed now that he knew Hyungwon was going to take care of the matter but it didn't go well.

“Could I have a little to drink, to calm my nerves before calling?” Hoseok needed something or he would just go nuts from the pressure.

“I just gave you something, or would you like something else?” Hyungwon seemed surprised.

“Something as similar as possible to spirit please.” He really hoped Hyungwon would have mercy with him. Thank god he did. Hoseok gulped down the brown liquid that burned down his throat in one go and pressed the dial.

“Uhm hey it's me, I wanted to tell you that I'll be there at noon as you suggested.” Hoseok tried not to sound nervous but failed.

“Damn I could come just from hearing your voice Shin Hoseok. We should've had the morning sex, I kind of regret we didn't.” The woman said in a seductive manner. Hoseok didn't understand what was going on there.

“Uhm I don't really know what you are talking about but I'll be there. Let's talk then.” He hung up while looking at Hyungwon and being genuinely scared.

Hoseok went to the mini bar and filled his glass with the same whisky Hyungwon poured him a couple of minutes ago and gulped everything down accompanied by Hyungwon’s wide eyed stare.

“Hoseok you'll be drunk as fuck from this amount, stop!” Hyungwon closed the distance and took the glass from his grip. He looked like a mixture of angry and worried and moved the glass as far away from Hoseok as possible, placing it on the counter behind his back.

“I don't know how to deal with this shit Hyungwon, why is she like this?“ Hoseok tried to get his glass back. Hyungwon was being a dick and not letting him, instead he put himself in front of Hoseok and grabbed his shoulders, leaning down slightly to be on eye level.

“Either because she wants your money or your dick. But she'll get neither, so relax. I'll make sure of that.” Hyungwon smiled at him and he was close enough for Hoseok to see the fine creases on his lips.  
  
Hoseok leaned in, curled his arms around Hyungwon’s thin figure and managed to grab the glass. He didn’t think about the fact, that their bodies would touch if he did that. He didn’t think at all.

Hoseok just stayed chest to chest to Hyungwon while his heart seemed to jump out of his body and breathing became difficult. He could smell Hyungwon’s intoxicating scent, his brain went nuts, everything just melted into the warm body being so close to him. He wanted to die right there.

There was a tiny bit of hope that Hyungwon would just push him away and tell him what a disobedient client he was and everything would return to their place. He loosened his grip on the glass and moved a little bit back to create room between their bodies, so Hyungwon wouldn’t be too scared to push him away.  
  
However instead of keeping the distance and letting Hoseok drink his whiskey in peace, Hyungwon ripped it from his hand and threw the glass including liquid to the side. The sound of shards clattering on the ground echoed through the room. The lawyer pushed Hoseok closer by grabbing the collar of the white shirt he had lent him, while whispering “Get your shit together Shin Hoseok.” Hoseok just closed his eyes, exhaled a shaky breath and licked over his dry lips.

“I’m sorry.”

Hyungwon closed the distance between their lips abruptly and without any warning.

No. Hoseok couldn't handle this, every little bit of rationality was leaving his body while Hyungwon's lips moved so passionately, warm tongue licking into his mouth. His body didn't listen to anything the brain had to say in objection, shaky hands cupped Hyungwon's face, that ethereally beautiful face, and he kissed back as much as he was able to.

His body was starving, as if Hyungwon was a drug he tried to avoid but was hopelessly addicted to. He couldn't resist and pushed his hips right into Hyungwon’s, one percent of the brain left still hoping it would scare the other man of.

The lawyer's lips released a surprised moan and he bit down on Hoseok's lower lip, hard. Arms circled around Hoseok's shoulders and long fingers pulled the strands of his hair. When their lips separated for oxygen Hyungwon just hissed a breathy “Oh my god Hoseok,” before he covered Hoseok's lips with his plump ones again.

The moan that came from the lawyer’s lips burned down everything that was left of Hoseok's self control. He was functioning on expensive alcohol and his never ending thirst for Hyungwon. His weight leaned on the lawyer’s slim body such that he ended up pushing him against the wall. Hoseok had no idea what was happening, the lawyer bit and kissed him, his hands everywhere, long fingers stroking his skin, pulling his hair, something hard pressing against his lower stomach.

 _FUCK. FUCK THIS_.

Hoseok was not prepared for the sensation that hit him like a truck. His lower body burning in heat, he broke the kiss and looked at Hyungwon breathing heavily, licking his lips and not knowing what to say.

“Fuck you." Hyungwon finally breathed out. “Why are you making me feel like this?” His gaze kept switching between Hoseok’s eyes and lips, looking horribly undecided and fighting with himself. “Touch me,” he exhaled, grabbing Hoseok’s shoulders, breathing irregularly. ”Now.”  
  
Everything burned. Hyungwon saying those words that didn't make any sense, cheeks blushed, the lawyer licked his lips and looked him directly in the eyes. Hoseok felt he had one second to decide how this was going to turn out. He took a deep breath and grinded his hips into Hyungwon's while maintaining eye contact.  
  
Saying that it was intense would have been an understatement. Hyungwon kept his gaze fixed and Hoseok could see how the lawyer’s lips opened in another moan at the action.  
He grabbed his shirt, took it off and threw it on the floor. Hands going under Hyungwon’s oversized shirt to pull it up, fingers caressing the tender skin, the sensation overwhelming and taking over every single synapse in his brain.

Hoseok had thought about what those long fingers would feel like on his body, but when they touched his naked chest it wasn't comparable. Hyungwon was moving his index finger along his pec muscles, stroking his abs and passing over the band of his sweatpants smoothly. Hoseok helped the lawyer to get rid of the useless fabric and stared at his body. He imagined it so many times but the reality was something absolutely different. He was thin, but everything about him was elegant and beautiful, his toned lean muscles, dark skin. Hoseok’s index finger ran from his perfect collarbones, over his erect nipple down to his abs, hesitating for a moment while looking back at his face.  
  
“Are…..are you sure you're okay with this...?” Hoseok formulated the last sentence his brain was capable of and looked Hyungwon in the eyes. He couldn't breathe, his finger was shaking over the lawyers sweatpants, wondering if he would be able to stop if Hyungwon said no.

A look of annoyance passed over the other man's face. “Hoseok,” he started while grasping Hoseok's hand and moving it lower. “Just fucking touch me already.”  
  
Something clicked. Hoseok felt his own gaze changing, head tilted to the side. Every single thought was eliminated in a matter of seconds, his hand cupped Hyungwon's crotch and his lips went for his neck. He sucked on the tender flesh while massaging the lawyer's erection, his teeth sunk in when Hyungwon moaned loudly in his ear. Shit. Hoseok broke the contact, looked at Hyungwon's face and helped him to get out of his pants. “Let me make you feel good.”

“Just don't expect anything of me I've never touched another guy. Like that I mean…” Hyungwon whispered.  
  
It was so cute that Hoseok almost laughed. He grabbed Hyungwon and easily lifted him up on the bar counter. Hoseok was amazed at the perfection in front of his eyes, his jaw was a little over the lawyer's hips. He freed the erection out of the trunks and gave it slow strokes while kissing Hyungwon's beautiful thighs. He sucked at the tender skin and wasn't sure whether he could just come untouched just because of the lawyer's low moans that caressed his ears while he was savouring every piece of skin he could find.  
“Now, I want you to let go, do you understand what I’m saying?” Hoseok looked at Hyungwon to make sure he was realizing what was happening right at that moment.

All the confidence with which the lawyer had replied before was gone. He must have been embarrassed sitting on the mini bar legs spread and completely open for Hoseok to ravish. Instead of answering he just shook his head, looking down instead of at Hoseok's face.  
  
“Listen, I don’t expect anything from you, I just want you to relax and enjoy it. Okay?” Hoseok smiled honestly.

Hyungwon looked up, face red, lips swollen and nodded with the most submissive expression Hoseok ever saw on him.  
He licked a stripe to see the other’s reaction. A loud moan escaped Hyungwon’s mouth and his head hit the wall. Hoseok went down on him, sucking and licking the tip, listening carefully to every hissed breath, every moan and every single sound that came from Hyungwon’s lips.

He put his hands on the thighs to balance himself when Hyungwon grabbed his hair, pulled and let go. He was so hard from enjoying it that he forgot who was pleasing whom. The breathing became irregular, the moaning louder, Hoseok was sure Hyungwon was close.  
  
The moans got quieter as Hyungwon suddenly pressed a hand over his mouth, other hand still tangled in Hoseok's hair, pulling intently. Hoseok grabbed the hand and brought it down. He wanted to hear every single sign of Hyungwon enjoying what he was doing to him. He wanted to engrave it in his amazing memory.

A few licks with his flat tongue and Hyungwon released himself accompanied by a loud curse. The way the lawyer moaned was the hottest thing he’d ever heard in his life. Hoseok swallowed and placed a couple of tender kisses over Hyungwon's thighs, grabbing his trunks from the ground and helping him to slip them back on.

Coming down from his high and being blissfully out of it Hyungwon moved a hand through his hair, uncovering his forehead and gazing at Hoseok's form. “What would you like me to do for you?" he whispered.  
  
“I told you, I don't expect anything Hyungwon. Touching you was more than enough. I really enjoyed it.” Hoseok was so painfully hard that he almost touched himself while talking.

“But I didn't do anything…,” Hyungwon said and pushed his legs together. “Well,...you could touch yourself.” His gaze wandered from Hoseok's obvious erection to his hand. “...And I watch?”  
  
Hoseok nearly choked on his saliva. His gaze moved from Hyungwon sitting on the bar counter almost naked to his neglected crotch. “If you stay seated like that, yes.”

Just like before Hyungwon nodded, then he spread his legs again as if in invitation and knowing what effect it had on Hoseok.  
  
_FUCK._  
  
Hoseok grabbed a chair that stood next to the counter, pulled his pants down and sat down in front of Hyungwon, eyes exactly at the same level as the lawyer's spread legs. He moaned just from the feeling he got, while pushing his trunks down to grab his erection. He looked at Hyungwon to make sure this was also okay.

The lawyer's eyes were huge and fixed on Hoseok's hand. Teeth were chewing his lower lip in a distracted gesture. He wasn't aware he was doing it, but it affected Hoseok so much that he let out a breathy moan while looking Hyungwon directly in the eyes. He started moving his hand faster, the view too much to handle. The way Hyungwon sat there in front of him, legs spread, biting his lip and looking at Hoseok’s dick.

“I want to see you come, Hoseok.” Hyungwon breathed, teeth still on top of his lower lip.  
  
Hoseoks whole body tingled, every single muscle tensed for what seemed like an eternity and he came, looking Hyungwon directly in the eyes.

While Hoseok tried to catch his breath the other man jumped down from the counter, still only wearing underwear and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a few wet paper towels. The lawyer held them towards him without a word. Hoseok looked up, still worn out from the orgasm and everything that happened before. He grabbed Hyungwon's free hand and pulled him down for a kiss. He came just now but the sensation was tingling in the pit of his stomach again.  
  
Hyungwon kissed back before moving away and wrinkling his nose. “Could you not smear cum on me? Please.” He looked at his free hand, still being held by Hoseok, with his famous disgusted expression.

“How am I supposed to deal with you Hyungwon?" Hoseok felt as if his brain exploded. He caught himself at the dangerous wish to touch the lawyer's face, his body and his hair again, sucking in his intoxicating scent.

“I'm sorry…let me clean up this mess first." Hoseok went to the bathroom and closed the door.

 

***

 

Hyungwon was...intrigued? Is that the right word for the feeling you have when you just engaged in one of the best blow jobs of your life and watched your client jerk off on a chair, spreading your legs for him? Hyungwon didn't know. He wasn't even sure what scared him more, the fact that he let himself go and did it or the fact that he didn't care that he let himself go.

His head was still filled with images of Hoseok's blond stands between his fingers, those lips moving over his cock, licking the tip and doing all those things Hyungwon wanted to close his eyes at but couldn't because it was too exhilarating. Hoseok's cheeks had been red from the effort and lips tight. The other man really knew what he was doing and Hyungwon would have just melted in his arms and told him to just do whatever to him had he been able to speak. He regretted it a little bit, but was also glad that he held on to his dignity, at least partially. Usually he also wasn't quiet during sexual situations and definitely didn't do what his partner asked of him, but Hoseok had that effect on him. It was intense.

Hyungwon had genuinely enjoyed it and was pretty sure that if he'd return to the moment Hoseok asked him if he was okay with what they were doing his answer would have been the same. He wanted it so he did it. Simple as that. Questions whether he was okay with being close to another man and what that meant for their relationship could all be dealt with later as usual. They were both good at putting those discussions off.

He wiped his hand with a wet tissue, still feeling a little bit disgusted and moved over his dick too, just in case. After throwing the tissues away he returned to the living room and wanted to close the mini bar that was left slightly open when he felt a sharp pain in his foot. He yelled and jumped away, seeing a few drops of blood tainting his expensive floor. Well, his cleaning lady was going to be ecstatic. He totally forgot about the glass of whiskey he had just thrown to the floor to kiss Hoseok's lips instead. Which tasted much better either way.

Getting a dustpan and a brush he quickly collected all the shards, paying special attention to single shards which could have fallen under the couch. When he couldn't see any big pieces anymore he got the vacuum cleaner and moved over the whole area. It distracted him from thinking about his possible interest in men he hadn't really been aware of. Or just Hoseok to be specific.

Hoping for the wound on his foot to heal by itself he lifted it up slightly and avoided touching the ground (not that he'd spread more blood around). Only when no glass shards were left and the living room didn't smell like steamy sex anymore did Hyungwon let himself fall to the couch. The high from his orgasm having worn off, worries were spreading like a plague.

What did all of this mean now? Could they return to their proper lawyer client relationship now? At least until Hyungwon solved the case? If both were interested they could try to be friends. Hyungwon wasn't opposed. Hoseok pissed him off sometimes but he was a good guy. However one problem was that Hyungwon didn't do casual sexual encounters. But what the hell had he been thinking? Hoseok does it all the time. That's how he got himself into this dick pic mess in the first place. Hyungwon should have used his brain instead of acting like a high school girl melting at the thought of a frat boy.

_You're a grown ass man Hyungwon. You can deal with your interpersonal relationships even if they escalate like that._

They just needed to talk about it.

Some other time. Hyungwon took the shirt and sweatpants that Hoseok had pulled off his body and plastered them to himself, feeling a little more like Chae Hyungwon. Even when he was alone he didn't sit around in underwear on his couch. The foot was still bleeding and Hyungwon suppressed a painful shudder. He didn't even know where his patches were not to mention not knowing whether he even owned any.

Registering that he stepped on a glass shard before and didn't just cut himself Hyungwon took a look at his foot by pulling it up towards his face and trying to examine the wound. Those years of dancing really paid off for moments like this. Of course Hoseok decided to come back to the room right when Hyungwon was busy bending his leg in strange acrobatic positions. Fucking great.

“What is happening? What are you doing?” Hoseok shouted surprised until he saw the blood on his foot. _Oh no_.

Hoseok walked over, kneeled down and looked at the wound.

“Where are your patches? I also need a bandage and disinfectant.” Hoseok stood up and went to the kitchen, where he probably assumed the first aid set would be.

“I don't even know if I have any!” Hyungwon called after him, trying to stand up while still leaving the foot in the air. It didn't work and he just fell to the side, hitting the ground soundly. This was seriously getting embarrassing and he scrambled to his feet quickly, before Hoseok would see him lying on the ground like an idiot.

Unfortunately he smeared more blood on the parquet. Hyungwon sighed pushing himself deeper into the cushions. This was getting ridiculous. “Could you bring tissues too? I smeared blood all over the place and the cleaning lady is going to have my balls for breakfast for not taking care of myself.”

He had no idea why he told Hoseok that, but it was already too late.

Hoseok came back after a little while with everything he mentioned. Hyungwon didn't even know where he found it.

“You just sit back where you are.” Hoseok kneeled down again and looked up with a serious expression on his face.

“This is cheesy,” Hyungwon couldn't help commenting, but he sat still as Hoseok told him to. The other man removed the shard from the wound with ease and put it on a tissue next to the couch.

“Shut up unless you want the cheesy to become hot again, there's not much needed for that to happen,” Hoseok mumbled, disinfected the wound, put cream on it and started bandaging the foot, while carefully lifting it up.

Hyungwon couldn’t help the anger at being manhandled like that, wanting to say something to feel in control. Anything.

“Kiss it,” Hyungwon whispered without even thinking about it. Hoseok's hands were so soft and careful handling his foot and warm. It probably got to his head, but it would have been embarrassing if he'd take it back now. So he didn't and just stared at Hoseok waiting for a reply.

The blonde devil looked up with a smirk playing around the corners of his mouth, leaned in and placed his lips on the soft skin.

“And now you'll stop teasing unless you really want to get engaged with my erection you saw before and you can bet I won't be the one touching it this time,” Hoseok threatened while looking at him with that dangerous expression Hyungwon knew from before.

The lawyer sucked in a breath, nodding and immediately falling back into that strange submissive note he had when Hoseok got sexual. He really didn't want to think about being engaged with Hoseok's dick. Snapping out of it right after he rolled his eyes. “What the fuck Hoseok? You just came, shouldn't you be sated until next week or something?”

Hoseok stood up, bowed down until the blonde hair was touching his face and kissed him, while sucking on his lower lip.

“I'd love to tell you about all those things I'd do to you, but I'll just take this for now.” He stood up and walked towards the kitchen holding the first aid set.

Hyungwon was confused. Again. Why did Hoseok continue kissing him? That wasn't really a fuck boy thing to do. Especially since the woman on the phone seemed upset about him not having ‘morning sex’ with her. Whatever that was about.

_You didn't have sex though, Hyungwon._

Hyungwon's eyes widened and he forgot how to breathe. Oh my god. Hell no, no fucking way. Was Hoseok being nice to him until he'd sleep with him? Hyungwon tried to avoid all images that involved Hoseok's dick and any part of himself. His lungs didn't want to take in any air and he just dug his fingers into the leather for some sensations that weren't his thoughts. Oh my god. He wasn't going to continue with this. He thought they were done now with whatever tension kept them from being productive.

_You have a job to do. When the job is done everything will settle._

“Why are you hyperventilating? You can't handle seeing blood?” Hoseok's concerned voice came closer.

Hyungwon really didn't want him to touch him right now. “Just gimme a break and don't come closer.”

Hoseoks face hardened. “I see.” He walked towards the door while putting his shoes on. “Just write me if something happens. I'll return those when I washed them.” Hoseok pointed at the clothes he was wearing and went out without looking back.

Hyungwon realized that Hoseok just fucking left and didn't listen to him. He needed a break, not time alone with his thoughts. He felt like an idiot for upsetting Hoseok like that. He jumped up, ignoring the pain in his foot, ripped open the door and screamed “Wait!” like a mental person down the stairway. This was a fucking drama and he couldn't do anything about it.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?!” Hoseok closed the distance to prevent him from falling down. “Did you see your foot?” He held his shoulders in an iron grip, so tight that it almost hurt.

Hyungwon wasn't sure what hurt more at this point, his bleeding foot or the grip on his shoulders. He took deep breaths because running to the door finally got his lungs back into motion. “Don't go just like that, fuck. I didn't tell you to leave did I?” Hyungwon put his arms on Hoseok's waist for support, thereby putting less weight on his foot.

Hoseok was dumb. Hyungwon had only told him to not touch him, how was that connected with leaving immediately? Or was Hoseok unable to stay in Hyungwon's proximity without touching him? The firm hands on his shoulders seemed to confirm the suspicion. But Hoseok couldn't leave like that. They had a deadline and needed to discuss what Hyungwon was going to do. And even more importantly they needed to get as much sleep as possible. Knowing Hoseok he'd probably just panic and not sleep, so going home wasn't an option.

_You just don't want him to go, because you're afraid of your thoughts. Don't shit yourself._

_“_ I remember telling you that I can't handle you. I remember telling you to not fucking tease me with this sassy mouth of yours and I clearly remember you telling me you don't want me to be next to you.” Hoseok grabbed his waist and pulled him unbearably close.

“Well…,” Hyungwon started but couldn’t really finish the sentence. He didn’t know how. Hoseok did indeed tell him all those things, they just continuously didn't make sense to him. What does he mean by not being able to handle Hyungwon? And Hoseok was wrong. He said nothing about not wanting him there, just not wanting him close.

“Hoseok, I said to not touch me for a moment. Not that I don’t want you here.”

“And I told you that I can't be next to you without wanting to touch you.” Hoseok's extremely low voice groaned into his ear.

“Gosh, then fucking touch me, but make sure we take care of that dick pic case of yours. That's the only reason I'm trying to stay sane here. For both of us.” Hyungwon sounded much more calm and relaxed than he actually was. Hoseok's proximity was fucking with his senses.

Hoseok's fingers raked through his hair while hissing a breath next to his neck. “I don't know what I'll do if I stay...,” Hoseok said abruptly losing the grip around his waist. “Call me when something is up. And don't run around.. the wound.” He walked towards the elevator without looking back.

Hyungwon didn't know why but seeing Hoseok retreat like that hurt. A lot.

He did something he promised himself not to do, took another whiskey glass and filled it with a little amount of liquid. Throwing it back he hoped that it would help him sleep without thinking too much. Whatever Hoseok and him had done it went beyond Hyungwon's straight experience and he had never been on the receiving end of such administrations without leading them. His last girlfriend fucking hated oral sex so they weren't doing it, simple as that.

A shudder ran over Hyungwon's back at the returning image of Hoseok between his legs. The other man was too masculine and definitely not something he should be sexually responding to, at least if Hyungwon's previous estimation of his sexuality had been correct.

“Fuck my life,” he whispered while taking off the sweatpants he had already lost once that day and pulled the t-shirt over his head. Putting his alarm for 8:00 to get ready on time and crying on the inside about the lack of sleep he curled up in his daun blanket and attempted to sink into slumber.

The whiskey did its job and Hyungwon felt the calm crawling through his limbs at a fast pace before it took over. For once it wasn't work on his mind when his consciousness left.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon recruited one of his talents, distracting others by successfully switching the topic and not talking about important things.

His whole body was still burning after the amazing orgasm he had, while looking at Hyungwon’s slim figure sitting on the counter right in front of him. He tried not to think about it, afraid he would lose his shit again, just like before.

While he was cleaning up Hyungwon had hurt his foot by stepping on the remainings of the whiskey glass he had thrown on the ground like a mad person.

Hoseok bandaged it despite crazy requests involving kissing Hyungwon’s foot.

Of course that sassy mouth couldn't stay silent for a second, not knowing what was going on in Hoseok’s head. He kissed Hyungwon’s lips and accompanied the kiss by a warning not to be that sassy teasing mess. Thinking hard about every single move, every action, Hoseok walked into the living room after putting the band aid back in place and found an obviously hyperventilating Hyungwon lying on the couch.

‘Don't come closer’. The lawyer's words swept every emotion out of his face.

_He doesn't want you to come close to him Hoseok. He doesn't want that. Just leave for fuck's sake._

His body reacted before his mind did. He put his shoes on, mumbled something he didn't even think through and went out.

Everything burned again, but the feeling was different, his chest hurt as if something was pressing against it from the inside, threatening to rip it. His breathing became irregular. He pushed his right hand against the wall to not lose balance, left hand holding his chest while he tried to reach the elevator.

The apartment door opened and the lawyer limped out while shouting something Hoseok couldn't perceive. He turned around and saw Hyungwon almost falling down while holding his foot up, blood trickling through the bandage. His body reacted faster again and he found himself holding Hyungwon up, sinking his fingers into his shoulders.

_What the fuck does he think he is doing running around, bleeding like a mental person._

The burning pressure came back when he felt Hyungwon’s hands hugging his waist, telling him something about his case and that they needed to be sane.

_He just wants to do his job, you're being ridiculous._

The suffocating feeling intensified when he pulled the lawyer closer, a hand running through his hair, sucking in the elusive scent through his nostrils placed at the crook of the lawyers neck, as if to remember how intoxicating Hyungwon smelled forever.

He blamed the alcohol, Hyungwon and himself. There was not a single thought inside his head, autopilot kicked in and blurred everything. Hoseok felt his insides twisting, a familiar feeling built up in the pit of his stomach and drawing in air became extremely difficult.

“I don't know what I'll do if I stay...” It was the truth. He wanted to die right there on the spot but successfully grasped on the pathetic rest of control he was capable of instead and his feet took him to the elevator.

After pressing the ground floor his legs gave up and he sank to the ground. Thoughts rushed through his head, numbing everything else and he tried hard to breathe in and out to regain the command over his action and cognition. Just before the elevator stopped he pulled himself to his feet with difficulty.

Hoseok walked home, breathing the night air, slowly moving his feet forward. He didn't know what the hell happened and how he was supposed to carry on as if it was nothing.

He liked Hyungwon. Too much. Way too much. And Hyungwon wanted to win the case.

_Calm down. Hoseok you need to calm the fuck down, just keep your dick to yourself and be a decent human being without jumping your straight lawyer and making him do stuff you want him to do. Asshole._

His head hit the wall of the elevator going up to the 32nd floor. He hated himself. He needed to come up with a decent apology so Hyungwon would believe him. Somehow. He walked through the doors of his apartment and realized his phone was not there.

Ignoring its absence Hoseok threw himself on the bed, shutting everything around him out, falling asleep, chest still burning from the suffocating feeling.

He opened his eyes when it was already morning, light blinding him because he hadn’t closed the curtains. He didn't know how long he had been lying there like this but the insistent ringing of his door bell was hard to ignore.

It could only be Changkyun, the sole person on earth to randomly show up after dissing him for calling late. He jumped up and went to the door while mumbling

“Changkyun don't you think you're much worse than me for…” until his gaze met the dark brown eyes he desperately wanted to erase out of his memory.

Hyungwon was wearing a black turtleneck complimented by a slightly lighter suit jacket and smooth suit pants. His legs looked even longer than they already were. Hoseok wondered if the turtleneck was his fault but didn't have the time since Hyungwon immediately raised his voice, looking furious.

“S _eriously?_ There are only a few hours left until I have to meet that woman and you're at home not even remotely awake? On top of that you leave your phone so that I couldn't even contact you today morning? How the hell am I supposed to do my job like this? “ He took a desperately needed breath of air and continued.

“What if she'd have come here to freak you out? What if she'd come, stab you and then leave and I couldn't fucking do anything about it? You're here still wearing sweatpants and I'm basically losing my shit worrying about your brainless actions. Don't fucking do this to me Hoseok!”

The lawyer stood there catching his breath after screaming at Hoseok in frustration without air.

He didn't understand what was going on there. “Why are you here Hyungwon?” He poked the lawyer in the stomach with his index finger, as if unsure whether it wasn't a hallucination from all the whisky and hormones. Hyungwon bent in half, clutching his stomach and threw Hoseok a look that could kill. “What - the - flying - fuck was that?!” he squeezed through his teeth, anger still apparent in his voice. Seemed like the lawyer was sensitive.  
  
“I have no fucking clue about what is happening right now.” Hoseok just verbalized whatever thought crossed his mind and walked further into the apartment leaving Hyungwon at the door. He walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get some water on his face, went back to his bedroom and lay down staring at the ceiling. Nothing made sense and he decided he would just lie there until everything got resolved through whatever means.

The peace wasn't for long as hesitant steps sounded on the wooden floor and the bed sank a tiny bit under a weight on his left. A warm hand appeared on his head stroking down to his neck and resuming the path from the beginning. Hyungwon's voice was softer than he remembered it. “Hoseok, are you okay? Would you like to be alone?” Hoseok almost suffocated at the sensation and looked left.

“Hyungwon are you crazy?” He managed to whisper towards the lawyer. The question obviously surprised him since he stopped stroking Hoseok's hair and looked at him. “Why?" he replied obviously confused.

“Because you are in my apartment at 10 AM sitting on my bed and stroking my hair. Do you want me to go nuts?” Hoseok said with his eyes closed, not looking at Hyungwon and avoiding any kind of interaction. He wanted to be paralyzed and not able to move, so his body wouldn't respond to all the stimuli Hyungwon smashed into his face like a wrecking ball.

“The only thing that should make you go nuts is the fact that the world will know what your dick looks like in two hours if we don't talk about what you want out of the deal and what to offer her,” Hyungwon insisted.  
  
“I admire your professionalism, but as you might have noticed, I function through my dick, which doesn't let me think properly, so I am genuinely happy at least one of us has a functioning brain. Thank you Chae Hyungwon.” Hoseok placed his forearm on his eyes and hoped to die of some sudden heart attack after spilling embarrassing verbal diarrhea all over the place.

Hyungwon hummed in agreement and resumed the movement of his fingers. “Well, maybe it'll distract you that I have good news.” As if happy about the thought Hyungwon moved Hoseok's arm away from his eyes and leaned over him, smiling. “Are you even listening?”  
  
“Just run as long as you can.” Hoseok kept his eyes closed forcefully. “I can't look at you, I can't fucking handle that!” His whole body shivered because of the touch.

The movement on his head ceased and Hyungwon moved back. The few moments of silence were unbearable.

“Hoseok, do you hate me or something? I'm seriously confused.” Hyungwon's voice sounded hurt. It was definitely too much.

_What the actual fuck?_

Hoseok turned to the left and jumped up on the bed looking at Hyungwon as if he was mental. His eyes widened “What? Hyungwon are you by chance stupid or something?”

Hyungwon just stared right back, eyes frowning and lips moving downwards. “Well you're the one who says he can't handle my face. Sounds like my face gives you genital herpes or something.” He huffed and crossed his arms.  
  
“Shit.” Hoseok exhaled. He turned to face the lawyer, eyes closed and mumbled “Listen, I am really constantly sorry to you for being this terrible client who ruins everything, but I just can't think straight when I'm next to you. You make me go insane, I can't control myself and I'm afraid I can't stop. That's why you should fucking run as long as I'm able to verbalize.“

Hyungwon chuckled. “Considering you swing both ways you don't really need to think straight, do you?" he asked, grinning at his bad pun. “But what is it about your dick keeping you from thinking?” As if speculating more about what Hoseok said the lawyer paused and looked even more confused. “Wait,” he said while articulating with his hands and placing both palms flat in the air. “Are you telling me I make you horny and you want to jump me and because of that you can't talk to me about the case?”  
  
“Whatever you interpret. I said what I said and I'm definitely not going to explain every fucking bit to you. It was hard enough for me to tell you that in the first place.” Hoseok buried his head between his knees. Why was he such a mess?

_Why would you tell Hyungwon that? Fuck._

The lawyer just hummed slowly, obviously not convinced yet and massaged his temples. “This gives me a headache. Can't we just fuck over that woman already and then live our lives happily?” He sighed and the weight on the bed next to Hoseok increased.

“Okay topic change. Why do you compose?" Hyungwon asked and Hoseok lifted his head towards the surprising question, which was a huge mistake because the lawyer was lying on his bed next to him looking like something that would most definitely ruin his life.  
  
“Because I’m spending a ridiculous amount of resources not to touch you right now.” Hoseok realized that the whole situation was extremely dangerous, so he just spit out a warning every fucking second. Maybe Hyungwons slow brain would realize and fuck off as soon as possible to let him suffocate in his misery.

_Please._

  
***

Hyungwon couldn't believe this. He was trying to have a professional conversation, but Hoseok kept throwing gibberish his way. He had already been pissed enough that Hoseok had forgotten his fucking phone at his place after storming out of his apartment without any proper explanation. Hyungwon had tried calling him just to find the stupid thing in his living room. And now that he came all the way to bring the phone (he placed it on a cupboard in the hall to not forget) Hoseok wasn't even ready to talk about work like they were supposed to.

First he was telling him that he was dick controlled and couldn't think. Then something was wrong with Hyungwon's face, telling him to run away or something. What the hell was he on about? Hyungwon just wanted to settle what he'd tell the girl and what benefits Hoseok wanted to get out of the deal. If they decided for the lawsuit then Hoseok would of course get quite some cash in the end.

Despite all the mess leaving Hoseok's mouth he seemed desperate and Hyungwon felt bad for edging him on like that. Whatever that provoking thing was that he did. The theory that he got horny from looking at Hyungwon was possible, but it made no sense whatsoever. A person as muscular as Hoseok had no reason to be dying over Hyungwon's stick limbs. He was fucking envious of the other man's body and in general sexual attraction was absolutely out of place in a work relationship.

When Hoseok didn't calm down at his attempts Hyungwon recruited one of his talents, distracting others by successfully switching the topic and not talking about important things.

_Like newly developed homosexual tendencies._

Hoseok looking vulnerable made the lawyer yearn to stroke his hair or hug him, but Hyungwon was the only professional among them and had to stay strong.

He eventually asked about why Hoseok did producer work. It was a good topic to start, but he was also curious. After all he knew nothing about his client (which was usually a good thing) except for his exhibition kink and strange mood switches. And that he liked Audi cars. That peasant.

“Because I’m spending a ridiculous amount of resources not to touch you right now.”

Hyungwon was pissed, partially. He had been genuinely curious and hoped for a proper answer, but at the same time he also felt his professional resolve crumble. If this was what Hoseok needed to get his shit together then he was going to fucking get it.

Hyungwon lifted an eyebrow and removed his hands from behind his head. Sitting up he gave Hoseok an intense stare. Waiting for him to change his mind and say something proper to his question, but he didn't. Eventually Hyungwon sighed and gave up.

_Fuck this shit. If Hoseok needed to touch him then he was going to get it._

“Fine, fuck this then.”

He pushed Hoseok's shoulders down, placing himself in his lap and stared down at him. “What the fuck do I have to do to you so you calm down and talk work with me?” He kissed Hoseok on the lips shortly, leaning away and staring at him again.  
  
Hoseok looked as if he had experienced a major trauma. His eyes became huge, blush creeped on his cheeks and he stared back at Hyungwon hovering over him.  
  
“What are you doing?” It was endearing. Hoseok looked even more vulnerable than he had while curling up on the bed and Hyungwon felt a strange thrill at having someone like Hoseok at his mercy like that. He decided to test it out and kissed Hoseok again, moving his lips over his chin and breathing his next words into his mouth. “I repeat. What do you want me to do to you Hoseok?”

Hyungwon genuinely hoped that Hoseok wouldn't say anything too crazy cause he had no fucking idea what to do and wasn't going to embarrass himself. Whatever Hoseok said he was going to compensate with bravado and his skilled tongue, cause influencing people with words had always been his area of expertise.  
  
Hoseok just stared at him without saying a word. Since no reaction followed Hyungwon considered his options. Having Hoseok sit there without engagement hurt his pride a little. After all he'd been trying hard, so he went for a safe option. “Hoseok?" he asked while licking over Hoseok's lips. “Would you touch me?” He cringed a little at himself but hoped it would work.  
  
The other man closed his eyes and obviously tried to control the pattern of his exhales, which didn't fit the inhales. His hands were clenched into fists grabbing the grey silk sheets, the knuckles white from the force. “I feel like dying,” Hoseok pressed out.

That caught Hyungwon off guard. That wasn't supposed to make him feel like dying. The point was rather ‘hot and bothered’. Hoseok shifted his hips uncomfortably and Hyungwon realized the problem. He was sitting right over it. He smiled at having reached his goal after all.

_What the hell was your goal in the first place Hyungwon. Make him lose control?_

_Yes._

Hyungwon leaned forward again, pushing his lower body into Hoseok's hard-on and hoped for a positive reaction. He kind of forgot that he would react himself and ended up moaning into Hoseok's mouth. A low groan escaped Hoseok’s lips and Hyungwon felt a strong grip on his hips. Hoseok's other hand found his hair, raked through it and pushed their lips closer together kissing him back as if it was the hottest thing in the world.

Hyungwon had never thought that confinement would turn him on but Hoseok's hands firmly gripping his hips was enough to make him see stars behind his eyelids. He immediately grabbed Hoseok's hair, pulling it, remembering how much the other had loved it before.  
  
“Tell me what the fuck you want from me Hyungwon.” Hoseok groaned in an incredibly low tone while pushing his hips up to get more friction. His eyes were sparkling and he didn't look like he had any control over what he did.

Now Hyungwon hadn't thought that far. The only thing he wanted was for Hoseok to not stop what he was doing. The gaze in the other’s eyes was crazed but captivating. He looked like he could rip Hyungwon apart. A memory of Hoseok's hands on his thighs, stroking him before taking him into his mouth materialized before his inner eye. The vision was so intense that he held on stronger and moaned. “Touch me.”  
  
Something must have switched in Hoseok’s brain, he sat up, lifted Hyungwon up with both arms, shifting him to the side, as if he didn't even weigh anything and immediately started to get rid of his clothes until the only thing that was left were the armani trunks Hyungwon had lent him. Hoseok looked at his face and whispered, “Undress”. Hyungwon fucking enjoyed this side of Hoseok.

The voice didn't allow any disobeying, so Hyungwon stood up from the bed and started pulling the suit jacket over his shoulders, slowly, while watching Hoseok's face. He let it fall to the ground. Next he grabbed the edges of his turtleneck, pulling it up, inch by inch until it reached his face and he had to stop looking at Hoseok's beautifully affected face to slip it over his head and let it join the jacket on the floor. Standing with only his suit pants on he unbuckled the belt, opened the zipper and slipped them down a little.

“More?" he whispered. He wanted to hear the want in Hoseok's voice. It did things to him Hyungwon couldn't describe. Although he had started the whole thing feeling in control he couldn't help but enjoy how Hoseok kept taking it from him with every breath that left his lungs.  
  
“Everything. Now.” Hoseok moaned the last syllable while licking his lips. Hyungwon could've come from the other man's voice whispering into his ear like that. But he didn't understand how Hoseok could be so affected by his body. The other man sat on the bed looking like Adonis, muscles firm and every woman's wet dream. Hyungwon felt high on the thought of affecting someone like him. He wanted to sink his nails into Hoseok's thighs and see how he would react. Leave a mark on his neck, just to see how it would contrast with his pale skin.

Hearing an impatient grunt he finally let the pants hit the floor, stepping out of them, careful to not touch the band-aid that he still had on his foot from cutting himself the previous day. Looking over to Hoseok he suddenly felt intensely embarrassed, face burning. Being in underwear next to another man was one thing, stripping for another man was another. Especially if that involved undressing completely. It was hard to suppress the hesitation as he pushed his fingers under the waistband but didn't move it down. He blushed further.  
  
Unfortunately Hoseok became aware of his blushing face and stood up. That just made him blush even more and wish to sink into the ground. Hoseok’s fingers moved under Hyungwon's waistband, not commenting on his embarrassed state and he pushed the underwear down for him. Lips kissed his neck, fingers moved over his arms and his chest, curling around his waist, pulling him further into his arms.

“I really don't understand how someone like you can find me attractive,” Hyungwon couldn't help but whisper. It seemed so unreal to him. Hoseok's strong arms around him, touching him like he was something precious.

“I have never seen someone this beautiful in my life. I could get drunk just by looking at you.” Hoseok's voice murmured on his neck, sucking on his skin and pulling their bodies unbelievably close to each other.

“Yeah, my face,” Hyungwon answered, trying not to think about how everybody was affected by his face but that didn't mean seeing him naked drove people mad. Especially for Hoseok who probably fucked pretty people on a daily basis. And told all of them that they had been the most beautiful he ever saw. Hyungwon wasn't anything special there.

Now Hoseok on the other hand, that's what drove him mad. The other man was gorgeous. Hyungwon wanted to be touched and he didn't even know how, it was ridiculous. The impatience made him clash his lips with Hoseok's, seeking some contact with his tongue, liking into his mouth.  
  
“On the bed,” Hoseok almost moaned out while obviously trying hard to be sane in this insane kind of situation, taking his hand and pulling him. “Sit down and spread your legs.”

Looking towards the bed doubts started to enter his lust crazed mind. As much as he wanted to be touched by Hoseok he didn't know what the other man was planning. The amount of possibilities was infinite for Hoseok whereas Hyungwon had to rely on his straight sex experience. The other man's actions scared him a little. Still, he wasn't able to say no to Hoseok.

He sat down on the bed, but didn't spread his legs. Too embarrassed to do so while seeing Hoseok regain control. It had been easier when he was sitting on the mini bar counter and Hoseok was stroking himself, unable to concentrate and at the mercy of the sight of Hyungwon fucked out and spread-legged. The situation had been more surreal and it had seemed like there were no rules back then. A bed was so much more serious.

“Hoseok, I-” Hyungwon started but didn't finish. Hoseok observed the whole situation while pulling down his underwear. He looked at Hyungwon’s naked body as if he was a beautiful picture at a museum, just the heavy breathing and blushed cheeks made the difference.

The blonde devil sat down directly behind Hyungwon, so that his back was leaning against Hoseok's chest and his whole body was practically between the other's legs. “I can't touch you if you don't do what I tell you to do.” Hoseok moaned in his ear while stroking up and down his thighs.

Hoseok's voice was sin. It felt like Hyungwon would have jumped off a cliff if Hoseok would have whispered it into his ear. He placed his hands on top of the other man's and slowly spread his thighs apart, feeling his heart beat furiously against his chest, almost in sync with the pumping erection he could feel pressed to his back.  
  
“You did well.” Hoseok groaned against his neck and curled his fingers around Hyungwon's hard cock while sucking the tender skin that Hyungwon presented him by throwing his head back. Hoseok was doing it just the way he liked it and the praise was going right to his dick.

He had never had anyone touch him the right way without any hints, as if naturally the grip tightened towards the tip, putting pressure where it belonged and making Hyungwon loose every other sense in his body. It was so hot he couldn't think anymore. Is this what being seduced felt like? Hoseok's other hand caressed his thighs, stroked over his arms, his abdominal muscles, pressing his own erection against Hyungwon's back as if in trance.

Hoseok's lips everywhere on his neck, his shoulders, sucking, licking and biting the skin while stroking his painfully hard dick. “Fuck I can’t get enough of you.” Hoseok’s low voice made him feel things.

Sitting between the other man's legs and being surrounded by him was what made it so intense. Hoseok's voice telling him how much he wanted him and what he did to him almost made him come right on the spot. Hyungwon felt shy at all the praise. He wanted Hoseok to praise him more. Tell him how beautiful he was and how well he did everything he told him to do. It scared him how much he enjoyed it.

Looking down at the way Hoseok's hand moved over his skin, almost white compared to the darker colour of his thighs and stomach, Hyungwon was fascinated by the contrast. The grey sheets of Hoseok's bed only fueled the picture. “I don't want to make a mess,” Hyungwon moaned helplessly. He really didn't want to ruin everything, but Hoseok had different plans. “I want to see you cum over my hands while moaning my name, Hyungwon.” Hoseok breathed in his ear and bit his neck.

As soon as Hoseok said it Hyungwon had to imagine it and the picture combined with the way Hoseok said his name brought him over the edge. Hyungwon tried to burry his face in Hoseok's neck while biting his lip and basically yelling his name into the warm skin. He curled his fingers around Hoseok's arm and held on for dear life.

“Holy shit, Hoseok,” he murmured still not really believing that the other man had given him two intense orgasms within a couple of hours. He felt Hoseok’s fingers stroking his shoulders and his lips softly kissing the exposed skin. “You are ethereal. I still can't believe someone like you exists,” Hoseok whispered barely audible.

Hyungwon couldn't help but blush at the new wave of praise. Hoseok had found his weakness and he was falling for it every time. The movement of the fingers on his back was so tender it spread goosebumps over his body, hairs standing on edge, waiting for the next place Hoseok's hands would touch.

Only when his heartbeat calmed from the orgasm did Hyungwon remember that Hoseok’s right hand was covered with cum and Hyungwon couldn't help but look between his legs, to see Hoseok's beautiful fingers. “I'm sorry about that,” he panted, pointing at the mess he made. His brain was working overdrive remembering that his actual goal had been to get some steam off Hoseok, but instead he always got steam off himself.

Hyungwon attempted thinking of something sexy to do and considered licking Hoseok's hand for a short moment, but he simply couldn't do it. Instead he moved his hand behind his back and closed his long fingers around Hoseok's erection.

_HOLY SHIT._

He took a deep breath, trying not to show his shock too much. Hoseok didn't only look huge, he also felt huge. But the needy gasp leaving the other man's lips was worth it. Instead of panicking Hyungwon leaned towards Hoseok's ear and whispered “I want to touch you. Let's move.”  
  
Hoseok reached for his drawer and pulled a package of wet tissues out. “Let me clean you up first.” The blonde started wiping off the remainings of Hyungwon's orgasm while carefully cleaning every single spot on his body, paying attention to the oversensitive state he was in. Hyungwon wanted to kiss him senseless.

“Hurry up, I want to hear you moan because of me,” he muttered, stroking Hoseok's arm with his left hand. The man surrounding him was like a piece of art.  
  
“I moan because of you without you touching me,” Hoseok whispered and shifted his weight back, so Hyungwon had access to his body. Turning around he let the view of Hoseok sitting on a bed with spread legs and raging erection sink it. Defined abdominal muscles and arms bulging from holding himself up he looked unreal. Hyungwon found it extremely attractive, which was a little shocking, but not enough to keep him from moving closer and placing his long legs over Hoseok's.

He took a deep breath and did his best to act nonchalant although he didn't quite know what he was doing. Technically it shouldn't be difficult since he had done it to himself countless of times, but he was afraid to do a shitty job. He stretched his fingers out tentatively, slowly closing them around Hoseok's erection, tightening the grip and giving it an experimental tug the way he did it to himself.

“Fuck. Hyungwon,” Hoseok moaned while grabbing the sheets behind him, head thrown back. Hyungwon felt encouraged enough to let his thumb move over the tip in circular motions, digging into the slit lightly, collecting precum and easing the movement. Hoseok hissed a curse while his hand searched for something to hold on to.

“Just grab my legs Hoseok,” Hyungwon muttered, fully concentrating on the way Hoseok's cock felt in his hand, thick and warm. His index finger traced a prominent vein before gripping it with his fist and tightening his fingers, stroking it in the rhythm of Hoseok's breaths. He began teasing by only using two fingers in a tight ring at first before adding more and more fingers until his whole hand was tightly moving over Hoseok's cock, squeezing the tip with every stroke.

Hoseok was moaning and breathing heavily, his name was mentioned every other gasp. It was intoxicating and Hyungwon couldn't decide what was more fascinating, Hoseok's blissed out face or the way his huge dick looked in his hands. Palms grabbing Hyungwon's legs, Hoseok looked like he was close. His hand moved to Hyungwon’s fingers sliding up and down his dick. As if trying to stop the movements.

_Did I do something wrong?_

Hyungwon couldn't help feeling self-conscious, worrying that he did something Hoseok didn't quite like. “What are you into Hoseok?" he asked carefully, hoping to improve through feedback.

“You,” the other moaned. “I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable with all this.” Hoseok breathed heavily, obviously trying to suppress his orgasm.

Hyungwon felt positive surprised at the sudden confession and relaxed at the words. He wondered about how to finally make Hoseok understand that he wanted this otherwise he wouldn't be sitting here, legs on top of another man and giving him a handjob. When Hyungwon had felt uncomfortable before sitting down on the bed he had expected something else. This? This he could deal with.

Ignoring the other's warning he continued the movement of his fist, while looking for words to explain himself. “Hoseok,” he started again, collecting courage by taking a deep breath. “If I wouldn't be so afraid to fuck up I'd have probably returned your previous favor.” He accompanied it with a rough movement of his fist, his other hand digging long fingers into Hoseok's thigh.

A visible shiver ran through the other man’s body, the words getting through to him and sending him over the edge with a loud moan of Hyungwon's name on his lips, head thrown back holding onto his legs as if afraid to lose balance. “Fuck, Hyungwon, you will be the death of me,“ Hoseok gasped having spilled between the two of them.

Hyungwon was afraid that the feeling was mutual.

 

***

 

Hoseok didn't know drugs that made you vividly hallucinate about your hot lawyer stroking your dick while sitting naked in front of you, which made him realize this situation was probably real and not a fucked up fantasy. The moment Hyungwon’s long slim fingers went between his legs, taking his dick and stroking it, electricity spiked through his whole body.

_Why is he doing that?_

Hyungwon’s actions in the past 24 hours just didn't make sense to him at all. How could the lawyer talk about suing people while wearing an annoyed facial expression and then grind his hips into Hoseok’s erection while licking into his mouth five minutes after that. Why did he straddle his lap and kiss him although he told him to run? There were so many questions that almost vanished when Hyungwon sat in front of him, in all of his naked beauty, long fingers cupping his erection, looking shy, biting on his lower lip while stroking him. Hoseok could've come just from what was happening in front of his eyes.

He was close, so close he almost forgot what he was doing there. He sat naked on the bed while his straight lawyer, who obviously just wanted to have his 100% case solving ratio, was giving him a hand job. An amazing hand job.

He grabbed Hyungwon’s wrist automatically, to stop him from going further.

“What are you into, Hoseok?” The lawyer's voice sounded hurt. Hoseok didn't understand why he would be hurt. He just didn't want Hyungwon to feel pressured to please him. But something absolutely unbelievable hit Hoseok’s ears.

Hyungwon said he was afraid to do a bad job while pleasing him and that being the reason for not sucking his dick right at that moment. It affected Hoseok as much as the content didn't make sense to him. His eyes met those plump red lips in front of him and he couldn't hold back anymore, holding onto Hyungwon’s lean thighs while burying his fingers in the velvety skin and moaning Hyungwon’s name.

He cleaned himself and Hyungwon’s hand with the wet tissues. Everything about the lawyer was beautiful, even his hands. He had big hands with long elegant fingers that looked so gorgeous, curled around Hoseok's dick. He tried to eliminate the memory as soon as it came and checked Hyungwon’s facial expressions. Their eyes met and kept staring at each other without saying a word.

“Hyungwon, I'm sorry," Hoseok whispered while breaking the eye contact.

The lawyer just rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. “Don't be,” he answered and attempted to disentangle his limbs from Hoseok's. It wasn't very successful. “Shit I didn't move them for too long. I only feel your nails.” Hyungwon rubbed his legs up and down, avoiding the band-aid Hoseok put on him, while still basically sitting on top of the other man.

“Do you want to stand up? Should I help you?” Hoseok hated himself for sounding like a grocery store employee. Hyungwon just laughed out loud. It was a very unusual sound and might have been coming from a megaphone. “Yes please. I'm amazed that you always need explicit invitations to help. Last time I almost choked on cognac before you helped out.” That was indeed true.

Hoseok moved the lawyer's legs carefully, while wondering about how a person like that could exist. His gaze went from the legs to the lawyer's crotch, to his lean abdominal muscles finally resting on Hyungwon’s surprised face.

The lawyer had been staring at him while he shamelessly checked him out. “This.” The legs moved a bit further back on the bed until Hyungwon could finally stand up. “Is kinda weird. I'll get dressed, okay?”

“Fuck. Please feel free,“ Hoseok pressed out and went for his drawer to get new underwear. Hyungwon dressed quickly but neatly, arranging his suit and turtle neck properly and fixing imaginary dust on the jacket.

“So,” he started again, turning to Hoseok and looking all professional. “As I said I have good news and would like to discuss what you want to get out of this case.”

Hyungwon was one crazy motherfucker, of that Hoseok was sure. Standing there dressed, watching Hoseok putting his trunks on while immediately talking about work. But what did Hoseok expect anyway.

“Listen Hyungwon, my dick just came down and I'm standing here in underwear and you're talking about the case? Can I like wear pants or something first?” At least he wasn't confused or strangely affected anymore, Hoseok crossed his arms and stared at Hyungwon.

“Sure,” the lawyer replied. “I'll make some coffee then.” He carefully stepped over some stray clothing and walked out of the bedroom. Cluttering noises in the kitchen followed shortly after.

Hoseok opened his wardrobe, pulled a black open-necked shirt and black ripped pants out and got dressed quickly. Looking at the mirror, he was almost satisfied.

_It's just business for him, Hoseok, don't let yourself get involved. It will end soon either way. Just don't look at him._

He fumbled a little on his blond bangs and went towards the inviting smell that came from the kitchen.

“I approve of your coffee machine Shin Hoseok,” Hyungwon called, obviously not expecting him to be there already.

“Well that's nice to hear from someone like you. I can't live without coffee. I need five cups to wake up.” Hoseok smiled while brushing past a slightly surprised Hyungwon and opening the fridge. “Did you eat yet?”

The lawyer pressed the button for another cup of coffee and shook his head, also smiling. “The wish to kill you for forgetting your phone kinda took my appetite,” he answered and shook the milk package in his direction, asking if he wanted any. Hoseok nodded.

“I'm sorry you couldn't fulfil your wish, although you did kill me in some way. What can I offer you, you look like a picky eater.” Hoseok kept his gaze on the content of the fridge waiting for an answer.

Hyungwon chuckled as if Hoseok got it exactly right. “How could you tell?” He walked over to Hoseok and looked over his shoulder, obviously not too impressed by the content.

“Lets not talk about that, just tell me what you normally eat. I can cook too, so I'm sure there will be definitely something you like in my repertoire.” Hoseok tried to escape the body contact by crouching under the fridge door and walking towards the coffee machine as if nothing happened.

“I have never heard of playboys being able to cook. Is that a new thing? Appeal to the fangirls?" Hyungwon asked while grabbing the lonely banana at the very back of the fridge and peeling it carefully.

“I like fruit. No need to cook unless you make a four course meal.” He took a careful bite, testing if it's still good. “In addition I don't have that much time left until the meeting.”

“Do you think I'm a playboy? Is it because of the picture?” Hoseok couldn't help but feel offended, taking a big gulp of the coffee. “Well maybe it's better if you keep thinking like that. What did you want to talk to me about regarding the case?” He looked at the floor while leaning on the bar counter in the kitchen. Hyungwon took another unimaginably careful bite of his banana. What the hell? Hoseok got it two days ago, so it couldn't be bad yet.

“Well considering your first question. It's hard not to think that you're a playboy if everything I've seen and heard of you was that you had a woman here who wanted to have morning sex, tried to take another one home and told me that you mainly think with your dick. What else am I supposed to think?” He chuckled again, watching Hoseok's facial expression carefully.

“It's okay,” Hoseok almost whispered “You can think that.” He took another sip from the coffee, still looking at the floor. He didn't want to have this conversation in the first place, because he knew it would inevitably lead to him getting hurt in the end.

“Whatever you say. Concerning work I firstly have good news, namely officer Jeon finally wrote to me so I have the woman's name and address. The next step would be the talk in about one and a half hours as planned. I need to know what you are hoping for in this meeting, Mr. Shin.” Hyungwon took out a black and gold pen as if out of nowhere and a little piece of paper, ready to take notes.

Hoseok got extremely mad. Why was Hyungwon calling him by his last name all of a sudden, as if nothing happened between them. It's not as if they couldn't have talked business without those stupid last names sounding as if they hated each other.

_He probably doesn't like you. Why should he. You randomly flirted with him and made him do things he probably didn't want to do and all he wanted all this time was to help you solve this stupid blackmail case you got yourself into. Just respect his fucking decision and move on._

_He. Doesn't. Like. You. Hoseok._

Well if Hyungwon insisted on the strict business relationship, he was willing to comply.

“I just want this to be over as soon as possible by whatever means. Preferably without an active lawsuit as I don't seek monetary compensation and it might blow up unnecessarily. Furthermore I hope to come to an agreement without personally meeting her. Was that answer sufficient for you Mr. Chae?” Hoseok finished and walked to the leather couch holding the cup of coffee in his hand.

Hyungwon appeared in the living room, holding his own cup of coffee. He took a sip and sat down next to Hoseok, keeping polite distance between their thighs and fingers adding a few more lines on the piece of paper. “Would you be willing to offer the woman a gratuity or would you like me to threaten her into giving up through a lawsuit? I have prepared the papers already.” He stopped writing to place pen and paper on his knees and take another sip of his coffee.

Hoseok lifted his legs up to be able to sit in a crossed leg position while running his fingers through the blonde hair. “I don't want you to do anything if possible...I just want this to be over and I don't know how to make it stop. She can have money or whatever I don't care as long as she stops bothering me.”

Hyungwon nodded without saying anything and looked at Hoseok as if his facial expression was worrisome. The lawyer sighed and slipped a little closer. “Don't worry Hoseok I'll take care of it. I can promise that you'll never hear of her nor see her again after I'm done with her. I tend to have that effect on people. If you offer her money, how much are you willing to offer? That would be my last resort though.”

Hyungwon was there again. Next to him talking informally with a soft low voice while looking at him wearing a worried expression on his face. Hoseok closed his eyes and held onto his cup of coffee as if it was the last thing that could save him. “No idea, 100k, 200k? As much as she wants.”

Hyungwon almost choked on his coffee and placed the cup on a little table next to the couch while coughing. He gave Hoseok an incredulous look. “200k?! Holy shit, maybe I should blackmail you too. Got enough ideas already.” He checked if he spilled any of the coffee on his suit, which he didn't, and leaned back.

Hoseok's plate-sized eyes caught Hyungwon’s gaze in confusion about what he just heard. His mouth opened and he had no idea what the fuck was going on. Hyungwon, that person was making his life into a mess. Any resolution he had shattered into pieces because of his indifferent behaviour that didn't make any sense. His mouth opened slightly and he licked his lips. “I honestly have no fucking idea what I am supposed to say to that.” Hoseok kept staring at Hyungwon leaning back casually.

Hyungwon laughed. “Well, you could ask ‘What for example?’” This sassy asshole wanted to make fun of him. Hoseok was absolutely sure about that.

“Right, so you can fuck with my sanity until I tell you to run away again.” Hoseok kept his gaze steady on Hyungwon’s face.

Hyungwon was obviously surprised by the answer. He shifted raising an eyebrow and attempted to elaborate. “Eh, well. I don't think that whatever I would blackmail you with would have a-” he paused looking for the right word. “Sexual effect on you.”

Hoseok sighed and grabbed his cup with both hands again while looking at the lack of content.

“You know nothing, Chae Hyungwon.”

The lawyer’s face fell and he looked like he had no fucking clue how he got into this situation. “This better not be a Game of Thrones reference or you bet I am going to blackmail you for lasting about two minutes despite the mass of sexual experience you have.” He looked like Hoseok just told him running around in a Borat swimsuit was a good fashion choice.

“First. You better not lie to yourself about my sexual endurance. Second, I won't listen to you talking about sexual stuff and I won't look at you, you fucking tease, so let's talk about something unappealing.” Hoseok would've broken the cup if he tried a little harder. He jumped up and walked towards the coffee machine.

“Unappealing? Your taste in women?" Hyungwon tried before he finally realized that Hoseok was not fucking joking. He cleared his throat loudly and called from the living room without following Hoseok. “Okay then I think we have settled everything. I will definitely stay under 100k. You have to consider that women of her background consider much smaller amounts of money ridiculously high, so it shouldn’t be hard to have a monetary settlement without any significant loss.”

“Amazing," Hoseok grunted from the kitchen. Hyungwon walked in, placing his empty coffee cup on the counter before leaving the kitchen just as quickly. “I’ll be on my way to the meeting then. I’ll call you later to tell you how it went. Your phone is on a shelf in the hall. Please pick up.”

“Thank you Hyungwon,” Hoseok whispered at the lawyer leaving the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do you guys feel about this? Hyungwon has a talent for distracting himself and overcompensating, doesn't he? :)


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We should all be collectively proud of the boys for finally getting first place! The two of us were so happy yesterday, so we hope you enjoyed the time to celebrate and cry your hearts out.  
> MONSTA X FIRST WIN FUCK YES
> 
> PS: HYUNGWON IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL WHEN HE CRIES.

Watching how the windscreen wipers removed the raindrops from his sight, Hyungwon waited for the perfect timing to leave his car and enter the establishment the blackmailing girl proposed. He was 10 minutes early but he had no problem with staying in the comfortable warmth of his car until it was time.

He was nervous, but the woman wasn’t even what really worried him. No matter what she wanted or offered he was going to deal with it quickly and painlessly. However Hoseok wasn’t so easily dealt with. The man was making things a lot more complicated than Hyungwon was used to.

He had hoped that switching back into an informal conversation and focusing on work would remove the awkward air that surrounded them, especially since they had been naked in front of each other not too long ago, but that kind of backfired. As soon as Hoseok had looked worried about the case Hyungwon gave up and acted reassuring, but also sassy although he intended to be distant and strict.

He was not planning on continuously being distant, but at least until the case was solved. As soon as the woman gave up Hyungwon would be able to step out of his lawyer role and actually talk to Hoseok. He had no idea what they would talk about but it felt very necessary. The lawyer had no idea what was going on and why he was completely losing his professional attitude as soon as his client looked at least remotely sexually challenged.

It was a fucking struggle. So he only had to solve this quickly and skillfully, get the best out of it, get his money, add another item to his winning streak and finally talk to Hoseok as a human.

Shit he was afraid of talking to Hoseok like a human.

_Concentrate on the task at hand Hyungwon._

The watch on his wrist said 11:58, so Hyungwon left the car, closing the door carefully and entered the restaurant. It was middle class and the menu looked decent from outside. Hyungwon doubted that he would have enough time to eat anything though.

Identifying the woman was especially easy, now that he had her passport picture. She wasn’t dressed for a blackmail meeting at all and obviously wanted to impress. Viewing her from the side, he focused on the black dress barely covering her thighs. Her back was completely bare, cherry blossom that Hoseok used to describe, emphasized through the contrast of skin, black ink and the equally black dress. Her blonde hair was done in a careful bun only a few strands falling down and touching her cheeks. Hyungwon had the feeling that she wasn’t really there to talk business. She looked too purposefully attractive.

He walked over to her table in slow strides until he was right in front of her and slipped into the seat with a smile.

“Good morning Ms. Spencer.”

The woman looked confused. “How can I help you?” She started smiling after obviously checking him out from head to toe. Hyungwon was amused at her immediate interest although she had an agenda and had no idea who he was. The idea to take her home, fuck her and take some pics popped up in his head, but it wasn’t his style and he wasn’t childish either. He had other ways to make people feel uncomfortable.  
  
_You are a fucking lawyer Hyungwon, not some blackmailing agent, what the fuck._

“My name is Chae Hyungwon and I am Shin Hoseok’s lawyer. I have come to discuss your attempt at blackmailing my client.” The woman’s eyes widen in shock and Hyungwon suppressed a self-satisfied smile. That was the reaction he was looking forward to and he got it much easier than anticipated. Since she didn’t answer he simply continued with his plan. Opening his suitcase he took out the documents he prepared and spread them out in front of him on the table.

“May I know your intentions Ms. Spencer?” This was going to be finished even before it started properly. The idea of Hoseok panicking over this seemed naive all of the sudden. The blonde woman wasn’t even dangerous and had obviously no idea what she was doing. Hyungwon couldn’t help but feel sorry at her attempts to gain more financial stability.

“I really didn't expect this to be honest. I thought about blackmailing but didn’t do it after the truly amazing night. I wanted to see him again. He said he didn’t meet people twice. I didn't think it would blow up like this.”

Hyungwon was honestly surprised. He had been convinced that the ultimate goal had been to squeeze some money out of Hoseok, especially considering his name in the industry and the fact that he wanted to pay a few hundred thousand dollars for monetary compensation of some random woman. This was a whole new level and sounded like a hopeless and totally dumb crush. Who falls for a person after having sex once? It was like those stories Hyungwon’s high school classmates kept reading to each other about falling for some guy because they kissed once. Pathetic idiots.

Hyungwon really wanted to laugh at her, but he had to stay professional.  The girl was never going to see Hoseok again and had to deal with it. In addition the talk about how good Hoseok was in bed made him uncomfortable, especially with some random woman that Hoseok had apparently been inside of. Hyungwon really didn’t like her. She was pretentious and tried way too hard and he was definitely not going to give her any monetary compensation. Hoseok was so not seeing her again. Even if the lawyer would have to pay security to keep her out.

Watching her nervous face he plastered on his professional smile and leaned slightly forward. “I am surprised to hear that you blackmail your men into seeing them again. I doubt this is the only way to do that. Unfortunately your wish to see my client and the following actions have been sufficient to fill out a lawsuit on blackmail and we can add a case of defamation, as a release of a picture as you own it would result in extreme backlash to my client's career. Do you understand?”

The nervousness bordered on panic as she started playing with her nails and toying with the drink she had in front of her. Teeth biting her lower lip she was genuinely scared. Hyungwon grinned as he already had her where he wanted her without even saying much. “How would you like to handle this, Ms Spencer?" he asked further, twirling the pen in his hand ready to sign the ‘oh so scary’ documents he had in front of him. She didn’t need to know that at least a dozen parts needed to be filled out and Hoseok hadn’t even added his signature.

“I, I really didn't want to cause him any damage, I won't publish it. I'm really sorry.” She looked scared.

_Fuck yes._

Hyungwon was actually done, but he wanted to see a tiny bit more desperation on her face. Especially after she had made Hoseok so uncomfortable and forced him to run all the way to Hyungwon’s house just with a simple call and a few words. “But Ms Spencer, I am sure that you understand that the blackmailing has already occurred. Are you sure that simply not releasing the pictures will be enough?” Her fingers tightened around her glass. Hyungwon continued smiling, this time turning his grin a little nicer, making her feel like she can offer whatever it is that she thinks was going to help. Obviously nothing was.

“But what can I do now?” Now she was close to desperation and Hyungwon was enjoying this way more than a decent human being should. He hated her so much. “Well, I might be willing to help you. But actually I was told by my client, that he wanted to make sure to never see you again and have you behind bars.” Hyungwon pretended to struggle and think for a long time, as if going against Hoseok’s non existent request was a challenge.

“I can offer you the following. You give me all the pictures you have, show me the proof of deleting them to top it off and to make it easier for me to change my client’s opinion, ask for his forgiveness. Would you be capable of doing that?" Hyungwon proposed, sounding as if it was the only possibility to save her ass and a great sacrifice on his side. He should have gone into acting, he could hear them cry for his talent. Hoseok was going to be ecstatic as soon as he called him after this. Maybe she should call first for effect. “I would recommend you to call him immediately if you want to get out of this situation.”

“I will, I will apologize." The woman grabbed her phone to dial the number, but Hyungwon took it out of her hand. “I'll warn him, he might get a heart attack, he's quite sensitive." Hyungwon smirked and pressed the phone against his ear.

“Hello?” Hoseok's panicky voice came through the speaker.

“It’s me, I have a person here who would really like to tell you something.” Hyungwon smiled and offered the phone to the obviously scared woman.

“Hey… It's me, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to damage your career and I didn't want to make you scared, I sincerely apologize, I just wanted to see you again, becau-” Hyungwon ripped the phone out of her hand and pressed it against his ear.

“Yeah that was pretty much all she wanted to say. Let's talk in a bit after I'm done here.” Hyungwon hung up and his stern gaze returned.

_That bitch._

Hyungwon hadn't wanted her to tell Hoseok about her pointless infatuation. His intention had been to tell him that her reasons been childish and irrelevant but now she had ruined it. He felt ridiculously angry although he was winning. It was so stupid.

“Ms. Spencer, I am sure that was sufficient as an apology. You have to keep in mind that Mr. Shin asked me to put you as far away from him as possible and talking to him for too long might make it difficult for me to keep you out of jail.” The panicked nodding calmed Hyungwon down a little and he moved back into his role. He put all the documents back into a beautiful heap and placed them inside his suitcase. “Wonderful, then I am sure we have understood each other.” Another desperate nod.

The red nail polish on the woman's index finger had partially peeled off from picking her fingers and rubbing the glass. Hyungwon felt immense satisfaction and was slightly scared himself at how much he enjoyed her desperation.

_This better not be because she slept with Hoseok, Hyungwon. Cause that's ridiculous and you're above that._

To his absolute terror he wasn't sure. He hated her with all his might and couldn't quite define why. Why would he even care if she slept with Hoseok, she might be hot but Hyungwon was hotter.

 _Shit_. Now he was comparing himself with Hoseok's fuck toys.

He stood up to avoid more unpleasant thoughts and sadistic tendencies overcoming him unexpectedly. “I am expecting the pictures by 2PM today, otherwise I will be forced to initiate the lawsuit. Unfortunately the police knows, so you should get rid of all traces as fast as possible. I wish you better choices in the future Ms. Spencer.”

With those words Hyungwon slowly walked out of the restaurant. Just as he expected in under 15 minutes and having sacrificed absolutely nothing. He rocked this and Hoseok could finally forget about this woman and live in peace. Unfortunately Hyungwon couldn't really consider this winning a case as there hasn't really been one.  He handled it privately because it was over Changkyun and to be true he just scared the shit out of a woman.

_By being possessive as fuck._

The thought stuck like a wet leaf on a shoe in autumn, annoying and impossible to shake off.

What the hell had happened? He saw the woman and the unbearable wish to see her suffer spread as soon as she said why she did it. She had hoped to see Hoseok again. To fuck him again. Because he's a fuck boy and never fucks anybody twice.

_He hasn't fucked you, Hyungwon. That's why he's still showing interest._

Hands shivering, Hyungwon rapidly climbed into his car, avoiding anybody seeing him unstable, especially the beautiful woman still sitting in the restaurant and regretting her life choices.

He grabbed his thighs forcefully, to concentrate on the pain but the only thing it brought him was the image of Hoseok roughly grasping Hyungwon's legs as he came. He wasn't okay. He wasn't fucking okay. He had hoped to be calm and settle everything easily after the case, but he had no fucking clue what he was doing and what he had been thinking when he agreed to get into a sexual fiasco with his client.  
  
But he was lying to himself. This wasn't an agreement. An agreement implies that one had seriously thought about something with someone and came to a conclusion, not jump dick first into a volcano. And Hoseok had been doing what he probably always did, go for someone if he was interested. If anyone was to blame for the dreadful outcome it was Hyungwon. He was supposed to be the professional one. He was the one who was taking over a case. He was the one who only did relationships and no casual flings. He should have known better. He didn't even fucking know that he enjoyed being close to another man.

 _Shit_.

He wanted to cry, but it was ridiculous and the least manly thing he had ever done. He knew that it was okay to cry and all that, but bawling his eyes out in his car because of a sexual encounter he let happen, was a little too much. He didn't even know how he would confront Hoseok now, the professional side of the deal would be over and there wouldn't be anything left he could hide behind. Hyungwon didn't even know what he actually wanted. Touching Hoseok wasn't an option, especially since he hated non invested sex and he wasn't going to date Hoseok. He wasn't gay! What the fuck?

_As if he'd date you anyway. He's a fuck boy Hyungwon. Fucking chill._

Hyungwon grabbed the steering wheel with his left hand, because he was in control and relaxed and definitely not losing his shit after finally solving a case and realizing he completely let himself go not thinking about consequences or anything for that matter.

_You fucking jumped him Hyungwon. THRICE._

The number gloomed over him like a ghost, hard to forget but as real as it could be. Hoseok had only lost control once, Hyungwon topped that easily. And he wasn't even gay, he hadn't done stuff like that before.

Suddenly he wanted to call his mother who was back in Korea, sleeping at this time and most likely not willing to stand up to hear Hyungwon stutter and be unable to explain his problem. He couldn't even make sense of it in his head, how would he be able to express it verbally?

Taking a deep breath the lawyer turned on the radio as loud as he could and let every thought be drowned by the loud music. It was enough to empty his consciousness and let him get going in peace, arriving at his apartment and still feeling calm as he opened the door, even punching in the pass code correctly. He hung up his suit jacket, took off his shoes and grabbed his phone to call Hoseok. A simple apology call wasn't enough to solve it, so Hyungwon took a deep breath and dialled his client's number by clicking the most frequently contacted person. It was ironic, really.  
  
“Hey.” Hoseok's low voice made him shudder. “How did it go?" he asked and his voice sounded more like losing a fight rather than winning a case. It surprised Hyungwon a little, because he expected Hoseok to be euphoric after receiving an apology. _Maybe he's upset because she just wanted to see him again and you were so mean_ , Hyungwon’s brain supplied, but he mentally told it to shut up.

“I've got good news, Hoseok,” he said instead and waited for the reply, trying to identify a change of emotion in the voice. There was no point to be formal. After all it hadn't worked before either.  
“Shoot.” Hoseok was not someone who talked like a waterfall, but he also wasn’t someone who answered in one word sentences.

Hyungwon paused, waiting for more to follow, but it didn't. This was more Hyungwon’s way of answering than Hoseok’s. The worry came immediately without a warning, winning suddenly completely irrelevant. “Are you okay Hoseok?” The lawyer sat down on his couch, staring at the chair Hoseok had been on while stroking himself and felt uncomfortable.  
  
“Sure.”

Well that was not really reassuring. Hyungwon felt uncomfortable since he wasn't a talker, so he did what he had always done before - get to the fucking point. “I saved your ass, Hoseok,” he muttered simply, voice deep from trying to speak quietly and rough as it usually was with the little amount he spoke on a daily basis.  
  
“Thank you so much,” Hoseok almost whispered. What were they doing? Competing on who could whisper into the phone more quietly than the other? Hyungwon wanted to laugh out of desperation but it would have probably scared Hoseok.

“And now?" he asked as if Hoseok was the one who should know. He was the lawyer. He should be telling his client the regular procedure. “I guess you owe me money,” Hyungwon heard himself say. Great, now he sounded like a loan shark from a bad movie.  
  
“Listen, do you mind, if we celebrate it? Like at your or my place, I have this Remy Martin Louis XIII that I didn’t try yet, and you can just walk home after or take a cab...? And about the money, you can tell me how much it was and I'll transfer right away from my laptop.” Hyungwon had not expected that. ‘Yeah thanks’ and ‘See you around’ maybe, but definitely not such an invitation.

He was fucking scared. It was childish but he couldn't fight the feeling of dread spreading in his chest and stomach and making him want to hang up without a word, but he couldn't. Being with Hoseok resulted in doing things he regretted afterwards and still Hyungwon kept doing them.

_Don't lie to yourself, Hyungwon. You know you want to see him._

“I'd love to,” Hyungwon heard himself answer and hoped it didn't sound as desperate as he felt.  
Hoseok hissed a breath, silence filling the phone line, spreading like thick fog. “See you at 7 PM, my place. Bye” he hung up.

Hyungwon remained seated on the couch, staring at his phone as if it was going to give him an answer to the hurricane of emotions inside his chest. The euphoria that had filled him when he agreed to see Hoseok was chased out by the fear he thought he had suppressed. And the worst was that he knew exactly what he was afraid of, but he didn't want to be.

Standing up he moved to his office and opened the folders relating to Hoseok case. Even if he wasn't going to try hard he had to at least look like he prepared it. A little bit of professionalism to hide behind was left and Hyungwon wasn't going to abandon it until he absolutely had to. Flipping through a few pages of basic information and case descriptions and opening a completely blank page of working hours Hyungwon had to laugh. Loud. With the mess that his meetups with Hoseok had been he hadn’t even noted when he worked on the case and when he didn’t.

The hilariousness of it all turned bitter. His attempts at identifying when he had met with Hoseok for the case and when he had shamelessly basked in the other man’s attention were blurred in his mind. He couldn’t just say that whenever he met Hoseok he had been working - it would have been a blatant lie. He simply hadn’t been. Truthfully,  he had spent most of the time moaning the other man’s name or getting pointlessly angry.

He grabbed the empty piece of paper with both hands and ripped it. It was childish and didn’t improve the way he felt even a bit, so he huffed, printed out a new one and sat down. He had to fill it out whether he wanted to or not and even if reflecting on his actions brought him close to tears then so fucking be it.

_Get yourself together Hyungwon, you’re a grown up man and can deal with stuff like this._

He had solved cases that were psychologically much more pressuring than this and here he was acting as if he was the poorest soul in the fucking world. Getting comfortable in his chair Hyungwon started adding lines and lines of time onto the paper. He would just take about ⅓ of every encounter except for the first meeting and his attempt to stop Hoseok from fucking everything that walks, those he charged fully, because he had been fucking working.

Only when his fingers paused and all lines that he wanted on the paper appeared he loosened his work stance. Now he was going to Hoseok’s place and not scared of what would happen. He was going to be his sassy self, relax, enjoy the cognac and spend the last bit of time with Hoseok until they finally get the whole thing behind them and can return to their usual lifes.

Unfortunately Hyungwon’s emotions didn’t agree. The fear returned full force at the thought of drinking cognac with Hoseok in his apartment, on the couch and Hyungwon had to hold the table with both hands to not collapse. Again he knew exactly what the fear was due to.

 _It was simple, really_.

Hyungwon bit his lip, closed his eyes and begged himself not to lose it before he had settled everything.

_Pathetic. You’re just afraid that he’s going to try to fuck you and then never talk to you again, just like he does usually, right?_

_No._

Hyungwon swallowed the bale he felt in his throat and held his breath.

_You’re afraid you’ll let him._

  
***

 

Left alone with his thoughts, Hoseok sat down on his armchair, holding the cup with the hot liquid between his palms. He recalled the last hour while staring out of the huge french window. The cars and humans moved, small like ants, going somewhere, doing something while he was sitting in the comfortable chair thinking about those big brown eyes and slightly annoyed smile. Hoseok felt his lungs clench in a familiar way.

_Everything is going to end soon. Breathe._

Hoseok tried to accommodate to the thought of not meeting Chae Hyungwon anymore after the case was over, but it felt hardly possible after seeing him, talking to him and touching him almost every day for the past week. It was rather confusing for Hoseok to be that involved with someone, being so close to losing control every time that someone was next to him.

His previous dating experience consisted mostly of him being on the receiving end, no matter men or woman. He ended up getting what he wanted. It was nice but it never lasted longer than a year and the tension flattened slowly as soon as he became interested in the personality and became closer to the other. There was something about the thin lawyer that was quintessentially different. It was as if being next to him caused a short circuit in Hoseok’s brain.  
  
_It doesn’t matter, because it will be over soon._  
  
The phone rang and the unknown number appeared. His first thought was that something might have happened to Hyungwon while he was meeting the woman. Hoseok panicked and picked up with shaky fingers, pushing the phone against his ear until his breath stuck in his lungs at the familiar voice coming from the speaker.  
It was Hyungwon, talking about someone wanting to tell him something, then a woman, the woman told him she was sorry in a panicky voice and then there was Hyungwon again, telling him he would call him and hanging up. Hoseok looked at the ended call on his display and didn’t understand what just happened.

 _Hyungwon made her apologize_.

It occurred to him while he was still staring at the now black screen and a strange feeling overcame him. He closed his eyes and realized that something in his mouth tasted like bitter disappointment. He hated the fact that Hyungwon was so competent.

 _How can you be disappointed that your lawyer saved your ass?_  
  
The problem was, that Hoseok was pretty good when dealing with sexual frustration, but extremely bad when dealing with something that was based on feelings deeper than just sexual attraction.  
  
_You developed a full ass crush on your straight lawyer, the case is solved, you won’t see him again and won’t touch him again and it’s fucking over Hoseok, you fucking idiot, what were you even thinking?!_  
  
He felt like crying. What the actual fuck? Hoseok grabbed the cup and forcefully crashed it on the kitchen counter while going towards the bathroom. A shower. Everything would be okay after the shower.  
  
Smelling like a combination of pine and honey, Hoseok felt much better. Not that he stopped thinking about Hyungwon but he decided it was okay to think about him for the next week.

The memories would go away eventually...right?  
  
He wasn’t sure about that, but what could he do about all this mess anyway. Carefully picking out clothes to wear, he gave up after twenty minutes taking a black t-shirt and black pants with huge holes on the knees. It was super comfortable to sit in ripped pants and he prefered them for long nights of producing music. He was just going to devote himself into producing, like all those times he had to deal with problems. Music was his friend and kept him distracted until the problem vanished by itself.  
  
The nice beat fit so well with his thoughts, that he almost didn’t notice the phone ringing. It was the promised call from Hyungwon. Hoseok was happy to hear the familiar low voice, but he was irrationally sad about what Hyungwon was about to tell him. His mom taught him that lying was something only weak people do, and he had a hard time because of it since middle school. He just couldn’t lie. Hyungwon certainly heard the change in his voice and he honestly sucked at pretending he was okay, since forever. The lawyer was going to rip his heart into pieces on the phone while being this professional, composed person and stabbing his feelings without knowing. Hoseok tried to escape the situation by suggesting something utterly egoistic and stupid.  
  
“Listen, do you mind, if we celebrate it? Like at your or my place, I have this Remy Martin X.O I didn’t try yet, and you can just walk home after or take a cab...?” Hoseok almost face palmed after spilling the verbal, counterproductive diarrhea right into the speaker and added a panicky sentence about transferring the money. He waited patiently for Hyungwon to tell him that he was mental, to transfer the money and to fuck off. Just that he didn’t. He said he’d love to. Hoseok panicked and hung up after making up some time and mentioning his place.

_Just die right there Hoseok. Just fucking die._

The shiny montblanc watch on his wrist told him he had exactly three hours to prepare himself.

 _Prepare yourself for what? Not to cry when you see him for the last time?_  
  
_Not to jump him, because he will most definitely look like a carefully prepared five course meal in a ridiculously expensive restaurant?_  
  
_Not to tell him you might have fallen in love?_  
  
_Hell fucking no._  
  
_You will be a nice person, a nice composed person that gives him the feeling that you’re thankful and he can continue living his busy life without thinking about you. Most importantly keep the fucking distance._  
  
Hoseok buried his head in his palms. Why did he invite him, he should’ve just told him he was thankful and that it was a pleasure to work together with him. But it was too late now. He was going to make it a really beautiful evening with nice food, good alcohol and definitely nothing to be regretted later. It was probably the last time they met like this anyway, why not make it nice? His chest hurt so much he almost bent in half from the verbalized thought of never seeing Hyungwon again.

 _Calm the fuck down Hoseok, you act as if your 10 year relationship came to an end. It’s your straight lawyer, whom you know for a good week, what the fuck?_  
  
Logical reasoning was a nice thing after all and he managed to calm down as much as decide what he was going to do. A nice meal was a good idea, also to shove his cooking skills up Hyungwon’s beautiful ass. He was making fun of Hoseok before, so he would fucking choke because it was going to taste like heaven. The problem was, that he didn’t know what Hyungwon liked. It was time for an absolutely embarrassing call.  
  
“What? What do you need? You don’t seem to be interested in me anymore as you call only to ask stuff,” the voice on the other end paused, “about Hyungwon.” Changkyun sounded a little pissed.  
  
“Yeah you know how much I love you Changkun-ah I was just busy with this shitty blackmailing thing, actually I wanted to ask what this picky ass eats? Apart from people’s hearts...” Hoseok smirked at himself for his ridiculously bad acting skills, but he managed because it was true. Hyungwon inhaled his heart in those couple of days.  
  
“What, now you want to cook him a five course meal or what? Or is it a date? Just keep me out of your weird relationship,” he huffed. Hoseok had to give him that. It was a weird relationship. One that was supposed to end today.  
  
“He solved the case, I want to end this with food this picky asshole likes, so he is mediocre satisfied and I will be out of this.” Cursing made Hoseok feel a little better, but the numb pain in his chest reminded him that it wasn’t over yet.  
  
“That diva lives of dead fish. It’s sushi or it’s nothing. Buy him a 20 LBs shrimp that can still smile at you and he will be forever yours.” Changkyun laughed like a maniac at his own joke.  
  
“Okay I see, I already expected something like that. Thank you bro. Let's hang out after this is over...I love ya.” Hoseok hung up and sighed. If Hyungwon loved sushi, he was going to give him the best fucking sushi ever made.

The leather jacket hugged his shoulders and it rained outside as he went out to get all the stuff he needed to make dinner. If someone told him two weeks ago, that he would run around looking for the best fish to make sushi for his straight lawyer, at his own home, while being heartbroken as fuck, he would’ve laughed himself into oblivion. But there he was.

After about 1,5 hours that consisted of asking his favourite sushi cook where he could get good ingredients, buying stuff for 300 dollars and getting everything in the Audi he was finally ready to go home. He was a little exhausted from all this, but it distracted him and that was an amazing feeling.  
  
Good thing he was a really great cook. He cut the fish and prepared the rice according to his favourite recipe, rolled everything perfectly in the nori and cut it in equal pieces. Even the ends looked like they were sent from heaven to end up on a tongue. Hoseok was satisfied by himself. Hyungwon had no idea of what kind of person he was and that sudden thought made him sad all of the sudden.  
  
He had half an hour left and took another shower. He wanted to touch himself to prevent any sexual drive from showing when Hyungwon came, but he didn’t have enough time and stayed under the water for barely three minutes spent with washing his body and hair. He looked at his reflection in the mirror after putting on black tight Hugo Boss underwear, ripped blue jeans and a plain black shirt. The blonde hair was still wet from the shower but he hoped it would dry soon and Hyungwon wouldn’t be coming precisely at seven.

He was wrong.  
  
The bell ripped him out of his thoughts and he went towards the door repeating the same sentence over and over again in his head.  
  
_Calm down, it’s the last time anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this chapter was relatively short in comparison the next one will be about 13k :D Since it's a complete scene and difficult to separate. We hope you're looking forward to it.


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what kind of sick competition this is, but I’ve definitely lost from the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EOMMA MIANHAE

Closing his eyes and staring down at his Christian Louboutin leather shoes, Hyungwon felt much more pressured than he had while dressing up at home. There the thought of being professional and enjoying a few drinks had been a non-threatening one. Maybe even similar to drinking with a colleague while celebrating him successfully scaring the shit out of a woman. If said like that it sounded much less celebration-worthy than when he lied to himself that he won an actual case. He didn’t. He had done absolutely nothing except for sorting a few documents, cock-blocking his client and getting to know his body first hand. A shiver ran over his back and Hyungwon rubbed his sweaty hands over the smooth fabric of his black suit pants, a behaviour he usually detested but couldn’t help doing himself in the situation.

Shit he didn’t even see Hoseok yet and he was already nervous.

Hyungwon had wanted to look attractive and at the same time professional. He told himself that he always tried to look attractive, but styling his hair up was usually only something reserved for nights out at the club or a date. And this was supposed to be neither of those things. His forehead rarely saw the light of day and showing it to Hoseok during something that was supposed to be work related told Hyungwon much more about himself than he wanted to know.

_You’re scared but still you want to appeal._

He moved his hands through the soft strands of his hair and arranged them one last time before taking a look at his watch, seeing 7PM and pressing the doorbell below Hoseok’s name.

Hyungwon shifted from one foot to the next, considering how he looked the most relaxed and nonchalant and adjusting his tight suit pants a bit more comfortably. Soon after steps sounded from the inside of the apartment, Hoseok was walking slowly. The time until the door opened felt like an eternity and Hyungwon wondered for a short moment if he was dying and reliving some kind of lesson for himself. ‘Don’t get too involved in work relationships’ maybe.

“Good evening,” Hyungwon said with a low and clear voice despite world war three raging inside his head as the door opened.  
  
Hoseok appeared and scanned him from head to toe. He looked a little shocked, maybe because of the difference between their dressing styles. Hoseok’s blonde hair was wet and loose hair strands were hanging over his eyes, a black T-shirt that hugged his muscles perfectly and loose ripped jeans. He looked hot, but in a completely different way than Hyungwon. The two of them were good at looking like they came from two independent movies and met because of a really bad plot hole. Shit, Hyungwon was afraid again and he just arrived and Hoseok only opened the door. He waited for an invitation or at least a word because he had manners, not like someone else he knew that just barges into people’s apartments running through their bedrooms.  
  
“Come in,” Hoseok said in the lowest tone Hyungwon had ever heard from him. “I hope you didn’t eat yet because I prepared a fucking feast.” He laughed as if at himself. Hyungwon raised an eyebrow. Okay that was kind of weird. Why would he cook? He could have just ordered some food, that’s what Hyungwon did most of the time cause he didn’t want to burn down the whole kitchen, attempting to fry any egg. He walked into the apartment and ignored the fact that his body reacted to Hoseok’s tone of voice. And his body didn't even react when someone was fucking naked in front of him if he didn't want it to. He was losing his shit and he just arrived.

 _Fuck._  
  
“I would say we can eat here at the bar counter. At least that’s where I always eat, although I have a proper table.” Hoseok smiled and pointed at the open kitchen where Hyungwon spotted the sushi.

Holy fucking shit. Hoseok could cook. Hyungwon tried to look unimpressed, but it was basically impossible. The sushi rolls that he could see from where he was standing looked like that one place he loved going to and spent shitloads of money at because he’s a picky eater and if the fish didn’t taste like he’s eating sea water they better try harder. Oh my god, he really wanted to eat it and he rarely wanted to eat anything, especially something made by a someone he knew personally. His friends were shit at cooking. Hyungwon swallowed and turned to look at Hoseok. He had to be himself. “Not to be weird or anything, but I usually just eat in bed. So I guess you are a little ahead there. Having at least something that resembles a table and all.”  
  
Hoseok laughed and it looked so beautiful, him genuinely laughing was something Hyungwon didn’t see before. He opened his mouth really wide and his eyes turned into crescents. It was angelic. Hyungwon wanted to grasp it with his fist and hide away for the sadder times in life. “You are hilarious Hyungwon-ah. I really hope you like it, I don’t want to brag...but I really want to brag, try it.” Hyungwon laughed out loud and held his stomach. This was much more relaxed than he had expected. He felt tension leaving his limbs and sat down at the bar. “Serve me then,” he called while fancily moving his hand to the side pretending to be a prince telling a servant to do his job.  
  
“This is the best fish I could find, your majesty.” Hoseok picked a salmon nigiri and placed it onto Hyungwon’s plate. Hyungwon took a look at it and pretended to be very detailed while examining it.

“Have you caught it yourself Hoseok? Do I need a tester to avoid being poisoned?” Hyungwon decided not to poke it for emphasis since it was unhygienic.  
  
“It was smiling at me with shiny eyes three hours ago, so I think that should be fresh enough, but do you think you did something that is worthy of poisoning you?” Hoseok smirked while tilting his head to the right. It made Hyungwon a little uncomfortable as he had to think about all those things he could imagine being poisoned for. He could probably fill a whole page with it.

“Well,” he started as he carefully took the cherry tree engraved chopsticks that Hoseok placed next to the table and picked up the nigiri piece in front of him. “That depends on how much you wanted to see that woman after all my effort to get rid of her. Who knows.” Shit, he was still bitter although it was childish. Hoseok hadn’t even shown interest and here he was starting jealousy-based conversations. He filled his mouth with the sushi to avoid saying anything else stupid, not caring about his manners, opening his mouth wide and sticking the whole fucking thing in. Hoseok would have to deal with it.  
  
The man in front of him looked genuinely surprised. “Why would I want to see her? I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to see her ever again? Oh I forgot, I invited you to say thank you for your amazing work all this time. I am really sincerely grateful, I don’t know what would have happened if Changkyun didn’t ask you to help me.” Hoseok became silent after speaking out the last sentence and put a big avocado roll in his mouth. His eyes looked down on his empty plate.

_Man he’s cute._

Hoseok looking adorable was distracting enough to not hate himself for getting praised for absolutely nothing and a long succession of fuck-ups.

Hyungwon chewed himself, basically food orgasming at the freshness of the fish and the texture of the rice. Fuck, why didn’t Hoseok do this before. He would have put himself on the fucking plat-

_Calm the fuck down Hyungwon._

The happiness at Hoseok’s lack of interest in the woman in combination with splendid food forced his sanity back and he added another sushi decorated with fish eggs to his plate while still chewing the first piece. He was genuinely happy.

“He’s a little shit, but has good ideas once in awhile.” Hyungwon couldn’t help dissing Changkyun a little although he was a good kid. He kind of got him into this whole mess in the first place but Hyungwon’s the one who let it escalate. “But I thought I only cock-blocked you and made your life hard?”  
  
Hyungwon looked up and shivered. Hoseok was staring at him under his blonde bangs, still a little wet from the shower he probably took. His eyes narrowed in question and a strange expression tainted his face. One Hyungwon couldn't quite describe. Without thinking he just spluttered whatever his brain produced, regretting he hadn’t shut himself up with sushi first. “If you continue staring at me like that your hair won’t be the only thing that’s wet.”

_What the hell did that even mean Hyungwon._

Scratch that, he knew exactly what that meant.  
  
Hoseok hissed a breath and started coughing uncontrollably holding his chest with one hand and leaning on the counter with the other, eyes desperately looking for something to drink. Hyungwon immediately jumped up and ran to the fridge to get something. Shit, Hoseok was not choking on sushi on his watch. His conscience had enough things to deal with already. Hyungwon just grabbed some random bottle, making sure it wasn’t sauce, and ran back holding it to Hoseok’s lips and placing a hand on the other’s lower back. Hoseok inhaled the liquid and started coughing harder. “That’s-” he coughed again “gin.”

_Shit._

Now he was trying to poison him with alcohol, another item on the list then. Hyungwon ran back to the kitchen in panic and grabbed a glass filling it with tap water, then he sprinted all the way back to Hoseok, face red and struggling to breathe. Why the fuck did Hoseok have gin in the fridge but no bottled water? Holding the liquid to Hoseok’s lips again he hoped for the best, palm resting on his back and drawing circles. It was pathetic but Hyungwon was so happy that he wouldn’t have to explain his little brain failure.  
  
He felt Hoseok’s hand holding onto his arm while drinking up the water, tears running down his face from coughing too hard. Trying to catch his breath Hoseok´s body trembled under his touch, breathing in and out slowly, head hanging low. “Thank you,” his hoarse voice reassured Hyungwon that he was okay. “Sorry for almost dying.” Hyungwon smiled. Hoseok looked a little desperate, face red from lack of oxygen and fiercely sucking in air he had been lacking.

“Now we have something in common. Both of us almost choked in your apartment.” The memory was kinda funny now that he thought about it. He was good at getting out of uncomfortable situations by letting someone choke or choking himself.

“True, just that I can’t run away because it's my house.” Hoseok pressed out while looking at the kitchen floor. Hyungwon followed his gaze and realized he was still drawing circles on Hoseok’s back with his palm, but it would have been to obvious to suddenly stop now. So he just continued consciously and huffed out “Do you want to run away?” before taking another piece of sushi with his free hand and placing it into his mouth. Fuck sanitary requirements.

“It won’t change anything,” Hoseok almost whispered and sat up straight. Hyungwon straightened his back as well and moved back to his spot, leaving Hoseok’s warm back behind. “True,” he muttered. “Life still moves on and the sushi is still fucking delicious.” He popped another piece into his mouth. Better to give subtle compliments.  
  
“I’m glad that you like it, I tried hard.” Hoseok smiled to himself. “Can I offer you something to drink?” He pointed at his mini bar.

Hyungwon chuckled, glancing towards the lonely bottle standing next to the other man. “Not the gin I already got with so much effort?” Hoseok stood up and walked towards the minibar with slow steps, hands in the pockets of his ripped blue jeans. He opened the door and got a huge fancy bottle out. After looking over the glass shelf, he picked the two most extravagant crystal tumblers and poured the dark looking liquid in both. “Man, you must be really happy that I solved that case then,” Hyungwon whispered, watching him. The atmosphere was strange. As if something was going on but he wasn’t grasping it. Hoseok behaved puzzling, but not in the way he had before. It was as if he decided on something and was going to go through with it no matter what. Like drinking before going to war. It was uncomfortable.  
  
“Should we move to the couch? It's more comfortable for me,” Hoseok said while already moving towards the open living space, placing Hyungwon’s tumbler on the table and sitting down cozily. Hyungwon stood up and followed him, placing himself on the same spot he had sat the last time he was there, sudden memory of Hoseok right above him moving his index finger over his lips as vivid as if it was happening right now.

“Been there, done that. I remember this couch pretty well.”  
  
Hoseok’s gaze was hanging somewhere in the air without concentrating on a certain point. He closed his eyes and smelled the content of the tumbler before taking a sip and leaning his head back. “Life is funny isn’t it? We are happy about things, but then we are sad about other things that come as a consequence.” That caught Hyungwon off guard. He looked over to Hoseok and wasn’t quite sure what to answer. Lifting his own tumbler he swirled the liquid a little, thinking about what Hoseok said.

“That depends doesn’t it? A consequence can easily become something good or something bad in a few moments and whatever you think about it first might change eventually.” Hyungwon paused while elaborating. “You could have thought that making a particular decision was a mistake, but in the end it turns out to be something good after all. You shouldn’t forget that perspective also plays a pretty big role. Just by changing your mindset something can quickly become good or bad.” Hyungwon took a sip, enjoying the quality of the drink. The other man had gone all out. Maybe he was really happy to finally get rid of Hyungwon.  
  
Hoseok didn't move his gaze while listening. “It makes me happy to hear. That means you would be satisfied, no matter what happens and you are able to just change your attitude towards things that make you unhappy.” Hoseok took another sip. He behaved worrisome, not looking at Hyungwon at all. There was something in the way that the other man spoke that hinted at much more being behind the words than he led on. Why would he be happy about Hyungwon adjusting his mindset to whatever happened? Hyungwon hadn’t said that he did it, just that it was possible. Hoseok sounded like he was going to do something Hyungwon wasn’t going to like and could easily adjust to in the end.

“I can’t shake off the feeling that you are trying to tell me something with this, Hoseok.”

The blonde man closed his eyes and smiled. It was this kind of smile that left a bitter taste. “No, I’m just thankful that you agreed to meet me to drink.” He took another sip and moved towards the bar to refill his tumbler. Hyungwon started to worry at the speed with which Hoseok eliminated his drink. It hadn’t been five minutes yet and he was already refilling his glass. Something was making him uncomfortable and Hyungwon couldn’t pinpoint what it was. The situation wasn’t the same. There was no tension that came from proximity and having said something wrong, or anger as it had been in the beginning. Hoseok seemed...sad. But it made no sense. The situation made much less sense than when they had just jumped each other. He felt like he could have explained their tension more than the ice that was between them now.

Hyungwon shifted on the couch, moving closer to the side of the window to see the beautiful skyline at night and crossed his legs. “Why wouldn’t I want to drink with you Hoseok?” No matter what Hyungwon did Hoseok didn’t even spare him a glance. It was upsetting.  
  
Hoseok dropped himself on the couch and looked inside his glass while twirling the liquid. “Because the case is over.” He smirked at his own reflection when the liquid stopped moving.

 _Great_ , so basically Hoseok was telling him that they have no reason to meet anymore because the case was over. Well that’s what Hyungwon thought as well until Hoseok asked him to come. The blonde had even said he wanted to celebrate, so why wouldn’t Hyungwon come? The excuse was the case after all. Why the hell did he invite him then if he didn’t think he would come? Hoseok made no sense. Did he want him to come for something else? “Well, but you invited me and here I am.”

  
“Of course I did. I just didn’t think you would come.” Another sip of the expensive brown liquid disappeared in Hoseok’s mouth. “Just a stupid question, are you afraid of me?” The gaze rested on Hyungwon’s face waiting for a reaction.

_What?!_

Hyungwon couldn’t believe Hoseok would actually ask that until he remembered himself being fucking terrified of coming here. However, that had been a while ago and not now. Sitting in front of Hoseok, seeing him drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol as if to drown his sorrows was everything but terrifying. Hyungwon just wanted to take away his glass and circle his arms around the other’s shoulders, pushing the blond head to his neck, smelling his hair and rubbing circles on the other’s back as he had before. The thought came so suddenly that Hyungwon missed the appropriate time to answer, stretching the silence longer than necessary. After a few more stretched seconds Hyungwon kept his eyes focused on Hoseok’s brown orbs and smiled. “No Hoseok. I am not afraid of you.”

As if to prove it to himself Hyungwon stood up, crossing the few steps to Hoseok and gently took the other’s glas, placing it on the table with a tender thud. “I am rather worried about your health.” The wish to hug the other man was overwhelming but he didn’t.

Hoseok watched Hyungwon taking away his glass, then slowly got it back and moved towards the minibar again. He seemed pretty determined to get drunk. He turned to Hyungwon with an amused facial expression, “You don’t have to worry, nothing will happen.” and poured another glass. He was going to die at this rate.

Hyungwon grinned at him, ready to switch to sassy as soon as he saw the possibility. He thought a lot of times that nothing would happen, but situations kept escalating when it came to the two of them. “That’s probably what you thought before fucking Ms Spencer. And that’s the reason I am here now, isn’t it?” Something in Hoseok’s eyes changed as he turned his body facing Hyungwon.

“Why, are you afraid I'll do the same to you?” The gaze was hard to handle.

Hyungwon couldn’t control the widening of his eyes. He stared at Hoseok in shock and tried to control his breathing. He had seriously just said out loud what Hyungwon tried really hard not to think about since he had a mental breakdown in his car. How fucking dare he? Regaining control of his features he sat down on the armrest of the couch and spread his legs to accommodate them without bumping the table. “No, Hoseok. I’m not afraid that you’ll do the same. Do you want to?" he asked with the best smirk he could muster. His heart was beating against his chest like a dubstep beat and he hoped the effect Hoseok’s words had on him wasn’t obvious. The other man was observing him closely. After Hyungwon finished his sentence something genuinely sad appeared in Hoseok’s expression.

“What do you think?” He gulped down everything he just poured into his glas.

A painful sensation spread in Hyungwon’s chest as he looked at the change of expression on Hoseok’s face. He had made him sad and he didn’t know with what. What had he been supposed to say? He didn’t know. Watching Hoseok emptying his cognac glass Hyungwon desperately tried to find an answer that would make him stop drinking. Seeing the other man devastated was more than he could handle. When hazel eyes returned to his own, waiting for him to answer, empty tumbler still in his hand, Hyungwon decided to be honest.

“With the way you react to me. Yes.”

Hyungwon felt uncomfortable, because that was much closer to what he actually believed than he was ready to admit yet. He needed more time hiding away from society to get his thoughts straight. He needed to say something funny to compensate, because he was not ready to admit that he reacted to Hoseok with almost the same intensity. However he couldn't think of anything appropriate, so he took his tumbler and downed the liquid himself. Maybe talking would be easier this way.

“I see.” Hoseok moved rapidly in his direction, Hyungwon’s body tingled with excitement but Hoseok just took the empty tumbler with him. He poured another shot in both and gave one to Hyungwon while getting seated on the opposite side of the beige leather couch. Hyungwon immediately took a sip, but couldn’t help feeling offended at the distance Hoseok put between them. Shit, Hyungwon wasn’t prepared for this at all. Hoseok telling him to leave and not get closer was much easier than this cold distance he had to deal with. He stood up from the armrest and sat down right next to Hoseok, thighs touching.

“Why are you avoiding me?" he asked, face turned to Hoseok and leaning into his personal space.

“The more interesting question is, why are you not avoiding me?” Hoseok met his gaze. The question caught Hyungwon off guard again. Was he supposed to? He stayed despite the distance in Hoseok’s words, the warmth of the blonde’s thigh seeping through his thin suit pants.

“Why would I?" he asked instead.

Absolute silence took over and a hand moved slowly towards his face and stroked his cheek lightly, fingers ran over his jaw, a thumb touched his lips. Hoseok’s eyes were following the movements of his right hand concentrated, as if he was touching something incredibly precious.

_Why would you when this is exactly what you want._

Hyungwon gasped at the movement, his hand immediately moving to Hoseok’s thigh and holding on to it. The effect Hoseok had on him was unreal. His whole body felt like it was on fire and the other had only placed a hand on his cheek. He wanted to kiss him badly, but didn’t want to force himself on Hoseok again. He had done that enough already.

The other man looked at his face, licking his lips, eyes shining in the dimmed light. Hyungwon followed the movement of his tongue and unconsciously licked his own lips, wishing he wouldn’t have to reconstruct its taste from memory but actually feel the smooth muscle on his.

“You,” Hoseok whispered after his gaze was glued to Hyungwon’s face for a couple of seconds. “Why are you so beautiful?"

Hyungwon wanted to cry from the effort it cost him not to close the distance between them. Hoseok was painfully unaware of the effect the he had on him. The other man’s face was ethereal, lips moist and eyes big and only looking at Hyungwon. “I could ask you the same,” the lawyer whispered, unable to control himself.

Hoseok closed his eyes as if elaborating about something. “Can I kiss you? I swear I won't do anything...just one kiss?” Hoseok’s voice was barely audible although they were centimetres away from each other. Hyungwon hadn't been the only one struggling.

“Please…,” Hyungwon begged and fought the tears burning in his eyes from the effort it cost him to stay unmoving, only his fingers pressing further into Hoseok’s thigh in anticipation.

Another hand moved towards his face, cupped it and Hoseok’s lips moved forward slowly as if not sure whether the whole thing was a good idea. Hyungwon couldn’t help himself and closed the rest of the distance, body melting at the contact and gasping into the kiss. Being close to Hoseok took all of his sanity and he wasn’t able to control his body. Legs immediately scrambling up on the couch, he placed himself on Hoseok’s lap to feel more of him. The other man moaned at the sudden sensation and broke the kiss for a second to look at Hyungwon hovering over him, as if to make sure he wasn't the one who accidentally put him there against his will.

However it was obvious that he hadn’t with both of his hands still on Hyungwon’s face, stealing his breath away. Hyungwon tightened his legs around Hoseok’s waist and lifted his face with his thumb and index finger, so he could look the blonde in the eyes again, being significantly higher now that he was on his lap. He captured Hoseok’s lips in a kiss shortly after, not letting him think too much. If there was something he didn’t want to hear then it was Hoseok asking him about knowing what he was doing.

_Because you don’t and you don’t want to know either._

Hoseok’s left hand went down stroking along his arm to rest on his thigh straddling him. Hyungwon pulled his legs even tighter at the sensation, opening his mouth further and sucking Hoseok’s tongue between his lips. The blonde moaned and grunted into his mouth while obviously trying to collect any remaining control and failing, fingers digging into Hyungwon’s thigh, right hand on the back of his head as if holding on for dear life.

Hyungwon was breathing heavily and tried to reflect on what he wanted apart from the deafening mantra of ‘Hoseok’ his body screamed at him. Pausing his ministrations on the other’s lips he moved back a little, enjoying the sensation of nails on his legs and stared at Hoseok’s bothered state. He was beautiful and Hyungwon couldn’t help but stare at the thin line of saliva that still connected their mouths. Pressing his lower body into the blonde he moaned. “Shit, please blow me again Hoseok.”

Hoseok let out a stuffed moan and looked as if he didn't understand what he just heard, although Hyungwon had moaned it in his face. Panting heavily, cheeks pink he looked like a puppy, a hot as fuck puppy. “Are you...did I hear that right? I think my brain is fucking with me again. I'm sorry.” Hoseok looked so confused and vulnerable. His hair was still a little wet and kept reflecting the dim light of a small lamp on the table. Hyungwon sucked in a deep breath, at the edge of his patience and endurance although he hadn’t even started.

“I told you to suck my dick Hoseok.”

The blonde swallowed slowly and licked his lips. Hyungwon wanted to attack his mouth immediately, but the desire to have those lips around his cock was stronger. His dick was painfully hard and he regretted wearing those sinfully tight suit pants. Every muscle in his body burned in anticipation.

Hoseok was going to be the death of him.

 

***

  
Hyungwon had enjoyed the perfectly made sushi, laughed and the atmosphere had been relaxed. Everything was going according to the plan, until he made Hoseok choke by an obviously sexual innuendo that caught him off guard and he almost died. Overall the lawyer was not behaving the way Hoseok expected him to. He thought Hyungwon would pull a distant, professional, sassy lawyer, eating, talking business and leaving while saying something offensive. He didn’t.  
  
His lungs clenched in pain every time he looked at Hyungwon’s face. This was not supposed to happen, he didn’t know how to deal with the suffocating feeling spreading all over his body and gulped the expensive alcohol down. The burning sensation in his insides distracting him a little from the slightly different burning inside his chest.  
  
_Just get drunk. Become numb and indifferent. Don’t look at him._  
  
Hyungwon’s behavior didn’t make sense at all. He thought it was clear after he sat on the opposite side of the couch putting as much distance as possible between them, while avoiding eye contact. The lawyer on the other hand probably had other plans while getting seated right next to him, thighs touching. Hoseok breathed in and out, hissing a warning question begging for mercy as Hyungwon glued his gaze to his face without backing off.  
  
His hand moved as if by itself stroking the smooth skin, touching the plump lips, eyes sucking in every single detail of Hyungwon’s beautiful features.

Just once. Just kiss him once. Nothing will change because of one kiss.  
  
“Please.” Hyungwon’s low whisper gave him permission and he advanced towards those moist lips when Hyungwon closed the distance and clashed onto Hoseok’s mouth burying his cognitive abilities for good.  
  
Everything moved all of a sudden and he felt lean muscular thighs straddling his lap, his face cupped in big hands, low moaning into his mouth. It was so sudden that he broke the kiss and glanced up. Hyungwon sat on his lap while holding his face with both hands, lips wet from the kiss, cheeks blushed, breathing heavily.  
  
_What is happening?_  
  
He didn’t have time to think as Hyungwon’s thighs pressed tighter around him and lips caught his in a passionate kiss, exploring his mouth sucking on his tongue and moaning. Hoseok clenched his fists trying not to move, to think about something, anything, one proper thought would be enough, but Hyungwon’s body rolled against his erection and a low voice groaned right into his ear. It didn’t make any sense.  
  
He wants you to blow him.

His eyes opened wide, breaking the contact and looking at Hyungwon in a mixture of confusion and fear. The lawyer came closer, looked him in the eyes and the exact same sentence left his lips.  
  
_He just asked you to suck his dick, Hoseok. Twice._  
  
“Is that what you want from me?” Hoseok whispered moving his hands towards the lawyer’s lower back.

“I said it twice didn’t I? Do you need a written invitation?” the lawyer hissed. He panted and shivered but his facial expression was that of a sane person.

 _If he wants you to blow him, then you’re going to blow him, simple as that. It will be a nice farewell present._  
  
Hoseok licked his lips and pushed himself off the couch, using his right hand while holding Hyungwon in place on his lap with his left hand. He walked towards the bar counter holding the lawyer up with both hands, turned and pushed him against the wall. Hyungwon didn’t weight anything, it was so easy to hold him right where he wanted him. He observed the lawyer's face while pushing his lower body slowly into Hyungwon, who was caught between him and the wall.

“Fuck,” Hyungwon huffed out. “How can you lift me like it's fucking nothing?” Legs tightened around his hips again. Yearning for more friction the lawyer grabbed his neck to haul him closer and ravish his mouth, pulling his lower lip with his teeth.

Damn, how was he supposed to think when Hyungwon was this hot demanding mess biting and moaning in his mouth pressing himself against Hoseok who was so painfully hard that he keened back at every movement coming from the lawyer's body.

“Fuck, can you not take away my sanity like this,” Hoseok succeeded in groaning while moving his hips into Hyungwon’s.

The lawyer paused grinding to get a proper look at the man pressing him against the wall. His fingers moved over Hoseok’s arms and chest, muscles flexed and holding his body up. “Shit, do I look sane to you?" he replied while kissing the exposed part of Hoseok’s neck and sucking on his collarbones. “I'm being held up by my client -” he paused to add another tentative lick to Hoseok’s neck. “While thinking there are way too many layers of clothing between him and my mouth.“

Hoseok said his farewell to his sanity fucking off hand in hand with Hyungwon’s. He loosened the grip on the other man's hips and let his legs slide down the wall. He removed his shirt in a couple of seconds and looked at the lawyer while thinking about which part of the fancy clothing he should remove first.

Hyungwon stared back, eyes more focused on Hoseok’s uncovered upper body than his face. He looked a little unstable, holding himself against the wall and erection visibly straining against the black suit pants. He let the suit jacket smoothly fall off his shoulders, hitting the ground.

Hoseok came closer, his hands moved opening the lawyer’s black shirt, button after button. “It’s better than unpacking a present,” Hoseok smirked while opening the last button and moving his fingers over Hyungwon’s chest, shoulders and abdominal muscles.

“I could think of a better present though,” Hyungwon whispered, despite a smirk playing on his lips. He looked down towards his and Hoseok’s neglected erections and back up, raising his eyebrows.  
  
“One step at a time, let me enjoy it.” Hoseok moved his head down and kissed a prominent collarbone while curling his arm around the other man’s waist, pushing their bare-chested bodies together.

“I admit defeat. This is nice,” Hyungwon replied and mimicked Hoseok’s actions by holding his arms around his neck and placing a kiss on top of his head. Hoseok decided to get drunk off Hyungwon’s body instead of the cognac he had been inhaling. He was going to touch and kiss every part of it to remember it later.  
  
His mouth went over Hyungwon’s chest sucking on a nipple gently, while stroking his back with his right hand, engulfing the scent. He smelled so good, it was like a drug that Hoseok couldn’t resist, smelling familiar like oak, but also spicy. He kneeled down slowly in front of the beautiful man, loosened the hook of his suit pants, and pulled them down gently. His hands went up again stroking the lean muscles of Hyungwon’s thighs and his abs, fingers grabbing the seam of his underwear pulling it down with one move. The lawyer held his breath and slipped his long legs out of the fabric, standing completely naked in front of him.  
  
_You’re addicted, he’s a fucking drug Hoseok. What are you even doing?_  
  
He looked up at naked Hyungwon staring down on him, erection pointing at his face, not able to catch his breath. It drove Hoseok absolutely crazy. It was a mixture of lust, suffocation and this feeling you get when you observe something ethereally beautiful. Hoseok licked his lips, curled his fingers around the shaft, licked a stripe while glimpsing up at Hyungwon’s face and took it in his mouth.  
  
Hyungwon’s loud moans, long fingers in his hair, pulling on it, hissing curses under his breath and unintentional moves of his hips provoked Hoseok to lose his shit even more. Hyungwon didn’t seem that stable, his legs shivered and he looked as if he was going to slide down the fucking wall. Hoseok released his erection with a plop, stood up and looked at the lawyer. “Are you okay?”  
  
Hyungwon nodded, holding onto his shoulders to balance the weight and gain stability. Hoseok’s weak spot was Hyungwon being this sassy fucker, but losing control as soon as he was next to him. He grabbed the thin hips with both hands, lifted Hyungwon up and carried him to the couch. The lawyer looked genuinely surprised at the sudden change of location, but whispered “I want you so fucking bad Hoseok, don't you dare run away now,“ hands desperately grasping for for the blonde.  
  
A hoarse moan escaped Hoseok’s mouth as he kneeled down in front of the lawyer, who sat on the beige leather spread legged. He buried his face between Hyungwon’s thighs, kissing and sucking on every inch of skin that hadn’t been touched before, his nails digging into the flesh, fingers drawing the contours of Hyungwon’s defined abs, moaning and cursing at the intoxicating scent that drove him crazy.  
  
“I can’t run away, even if I should.” Hoseok was going nuts. Hyungwon’s spiel was too much to handle, the desperation coming through as Hoseok cursed. “Shit, if you had an idea of how much I want you right now, Fuck.” He placed his mouth over Hyungwon’s neglected erection, and took it in. Hoseok sucked it gently moving his lips up and down his shaft, licking the sensitive spot under the tip with his tongue. One hand ran over Hyungwon’s thighs, the other found the lawyer’s long fingers and squeezed them in his palm while moaning against his dick. Hyungwon’s other hand raked through his hair, pulling it and massaging his scalp in alternation. Hoseok looked up and observed the lawyer’s reactions carefully. Hyungwon was panting, curses left his lips, beads of sweat ran down his temples, naked skin reflected the dimmed light. It was possible to see some of the city glint in his glazed-over eyes. He let Hyungwon’s erection slide out of his mouth, curled his fingers around it instead and continued stroking. “If you knew how fucking hot you look right now, Hyungwon. I feel like bursting. I shouldn’t be like this. Fuck.”

Eyes-half lidded and barely conscious Hyungwon looked at him kneeling in front of him, hand squeezing Hoseok’s and mouth open. “You look hotter with your mouth around my dick, Hoseok. You’re a tease.” His eyes kept staring at Hoseok’s lips as if still in disbelief that he had the pleasure to see such a beautiful sight, but suffering from the loss.  
  
Hoseok took him in his mouth again, speeding up the movements of his tongue and painfully holding onto the lawyer’s thighs. “Fuck, Hoseok,” he basically screamed. Hyungwon’s dick was twitching in his mouth and Hoseok knew he was close. Just before the lawyer orgasmed he pulled Hoseok’s hair forcefully until his dick left the blonde’s lips with a lewd sound. “Wait,” he breathed harshly, fingers stroking the area he had pulled just seconds ago. “I don’t want it to be over yet.”

Hoseok didn’t understand what was happening. Why Hyungwon pulled out, why he didn’t want him to finish what he was doing? “Is something wrong?” Hoseok was worried to death that the other realized he didn’t want all of this in the first place. A perfectly reasonable awakening. He thought about possibilities for a graceful retreat but nothing came to mind besides his own erection pressing against the denim fabric. Instead of telling him to stop touching him inappropriately Hyungwon pulled him up by his chin, until he could kiss him and moved his legs around his hips again, pulling him further on the couch. He licked over Hoseok’s lips, kissed his nose and panted harshly. “I fucking want you. That’s what’s wrong,” Hyungwon hissed inside his mouth and moved a bit lower, sucking Hoseok’s nipple in and rolling it between his teeth.  
  
Hoseok obviously needed another university degree to understand what was going on. Hyungwon didn’t want him to suck his dick anymore. He pulled him up and he kissed him and then he told him he wanted him. Wanted him to do what?  
  
“I’m sorry I can't fucking think Hyungwon, what the fuck is happening?" he groaned trying to collect his thought, which was extremely difficult with his nipple in Hyungwon’s mouth.

The lawyer just ignored him and continued his ministrations, kissing further down Hoseok’s chest until it was hard to reach and he released an annoyed huff. “Why are you even still dressed?" he asked sounding desperate, fingers digging into Hoseok’s jeans. Fuck, of course he was dressed. He didn’t need to be naked to suck Hyungwon off. The sensations coming from Hyungwon’s mouth numbed everything else and Hoseok escaped that by dropping himself on the couch next to the lawyer. He probably looked confused because _what the fuck was going on anyway_. He panted hard and tried to examine Hyungwon’s face for anything that looked like regret.

However he wasn’t able to find it as Hyungwon just watched him move away and looked angry instead. “Are you running away from me again?" he asked with a dangerous undertone, as he slowly moved towards Hoseok, placing his hands on his knees and sinking down between his legs in front of him. He scattered a few stray kisses on his chest and abs before he opened the button of his jeans with his mouth and stared up at Hoseok, examining his reaction.  
  
It was like some kind of misunderstanding. Hyungwon did things that didn’t make sense. Why?  
“Look, are you sure? I mean, do you know what you are doing? You didn’t drink that much, did you?”

The way in which Hyungwon looked up at him after nibbling on the button of his jeans was murderous. The hands on his knees pushed further into his skin and the other man stared at him from between his legs without moving an inch before he finally answered. “I am sitting between your legs trying to take your damn pants off and fueling your fantasies because of your unhealthy obsession with my lips. And no, I did not drink much and am painfully aware of what I am doing.”

“I don’t want you to do anything you would regret, because of me,” Hoseok breathed out. “There is nothing I want more than see your lips around my dick, but it just doesn’t make any sense to me why you would be willing to.” Hyungwon froze immediately as soon as Hoseok mentioned lips around a cock and his eyes widened, indicating that sucking his client’s dick hadn’t been his intention in the first place. He stared down at Hoseok’s partially freed erection, jeans opened and only covered by his trunks and swallowed. Shortly after he caught himself again and placed a kiss on Hoseok’s belly button.

“I would recommend you to let me decide whether I will regret something or not,” he mumbled between kisses.  
  
Hoseok’s brain was fucked. Why did he think talking about his sick fantasies would be a good idea? He suppressed the wish to drink another shot and took what was available instead, taking Hyungwon’s thin body, lifting it back up on his lap and kissing him. His tongue slid in, explored the others mouth, hands touched Hyungwon’s naked back, went up to pull his hair, moaning in his face as if it would help with the situation Hoseok was in. Hyungwon melted in his arms as if he had been desperately waiting for it, reacting to every ministration and rubbing his thighs on Hoseok’s jeans-clad ones repeatedly. “I want to sit on your naked thighs,” Hyungwon finally said and desperately pulled at the fabric, although he was sitting on it. That was something Hoseok could make sense off. He lifted Hyungwon up on his abs, pulled his lower body up, and pushed the loose jeans down his knees. The lawyer gasped at the friction that Hoseok’s abs produced by rubbing against his dick and seized his shoulders.

“I feel like a doll next to you,” Hyungwon said as fingers travelled from Hoseok’s shoulders, over his pecs and abs, along his hips and finally stopping at his thighs, clutching them.

“You are perfection. Just fucking look at yourself, I’m bursting just from looking at you,” Hoseok’s low voice moaned into the lawyer’s ear, while touching his perfect, smooth thighs and trying not to come. It was extremely hard considering a naked beautiful Hyungwon sitting right over his erection. As if knowing about his struggle Hyungwon moved his hips forward, seeking friction and rubbing over Hoseok just the right way.  
  
Pictures filled Hoseok’s brain. Images he tried hard not to see, things he tried hard not to fantasize about, but Hyungwon rubbing himself against his dick was too much of a struggle to keep his thoughts sane.  
  
_Imagine how nice it would feel to be buried inside of him._  
  
No, no fucking way was he thinking about actually fucking his lawyer. He tried to gnaw on his lip until it hurt so much, that the images faded. He wanted to stop Hyungwon, but he didn’t know how.  
  
“Fuck, you will make me come like this.” His breathing became irregular. Hyungwon looked at him in wonder, pausing his hips, but still holding onto him tightly with his legs.

“Untouched?" he asked.

Hoseok studied the way Hyungwon pushed his hips into his groin. “If you call that not touching, then yes.” The lawyer grinned and put his palms flat in the air, showing that they weren’t touching anything and thrusted his hips forward again, watching the bliss on Hoseok’s face. “Fuck, you fucking tease.” Hoseok was not okay, he curled his arm around Hyungwon and pressed him against his naked body to gain more time, kissing his neck and biting his earlobe. The lawyer just moaned in response, pushing back and enjoying the contact.

“You wreck me, Hoseok,” he whispered as he licked over a prominent vein on Hoseok’s neck and bit into his collarbone.

“You wrecked me first.” Hoseok’s hands were all over Hyungwon’s body, as if the contact was not enough. One hand moved down to cup the erection that was poking against his abs, giving it a couple of strokes.

Hyungwon threw his head back and buried his nails in Hoseok’s skin. “Asshole,” he muttered. “I wanted to see you come untouched first.” Hoseok continued his pace while breathing into Hyungwon’s chest, sucking on his nipple,

“I don’t know what kind of sick competition this is, but I’ve definitely lost from the beginning.” Hyungwon just nodded, completely out of it and leaned further back, placing his arms on Hoseok’s knees behind him and leaning his head back further, giving him more access.  
  
“Shit, you sitting naked on my lap moaning is definitely the hottest thing I've ever seen. Now be nice and come for me.” Hoseok bit into Hyungwon’s shoulder while continuing moving his hand and applying more pressure. Again Hyungwon just nodded. It seemed as if Hoseok could have said anything and the lawyer would have agreed without batting an eye. His breathing got louder, mantra like repetitions of Hoseok’s name leaving his lips and hips moving towards the rhythm of Hoseok’s hand. The closer he got the more his movements seemed delirious, hands just grabbing Hoseok’s knees tighter, knuckles white from the effort, body bouncing with every movement of Hoseok’s hand.

Just when he reached his climax, Hoseok could feel him twitch in his hand, moaning his name lowly and releasing between the two of them, partially ruining Hoseok’s trunks, but he couldn’t care less. Completely out of it Hyungwon stayed on Hoseok’s lap, breathing heavily and arms almost bending under the weight of his own body. “Hold me. I can’t hold myself up,” he breathed waiting for Hoseok to bare his weight. Hoseok immediately circled his arms around his waist and let him rest against his shoulder, listening to the rough breaths he released in his ear.  
  
He was so beautiful, so fucked out, leaning against his shoulder. Hoseok loved it.  
  
_Him._

  
***

 

Hyungwon’s brain felt like molten lava and he knew that his self control had deserted him back when he had crushed Hoseok into the wall of that skyline bar and kissed him senseless. Whenever the two of them were close Hoseok had this tendency to be so soft and tender with him, stroking his face and making him feel like the most valuable possession in the world. Hyungwon wanted to scream ‘possess me then’ and throw himself into Hoseok’s arms, but that was only the beginning. The delicate ministrations urged him to crave for more, throwing himself at the other man and pleading for bodily attention than he couldn’t withstand.

If Hoseok tenderly stroking his face fucked with his self control, then Hoseok manhandling him, easily lifting him and doing whatever he wanted with him fucked with his brain. Even if Hyungwon hadn't told Hoseok explicitly to suck his dick - twice - he wouldn't have stopped him. As soon as Hoseok’s fingers found the determination to please, Hyungwon simply didn't have the strength to oppose and he loved every dirty bit of it. Hoseok overwrote every clearly formulated piece of information about Hyungwon’s sexuality that he had built up over the years with one a single action.

Leaning against the wall, as Hoseok sank between his legs, was one of the most intense images he had ever had the pleasure to see. Even the moment when Hoseok had glanced up at him, hands holding his legs in place, resting on the minibar, hadn’t affected him as profoundly. Standing, instead of kneeling on the ground he had appeared dominant, not lowering himself but rather lifting Hyungwon, placing his hips on the mini bar and blowing his mind away. But the way he sunk to his knees in front of Hyungwon resting against the wall was exhilarating. It felt dangerous and extraordinarily erotic at the same time. Hoseok had the eyes of a predator and Hyungwon yearned to be the prey.

The more Hoseok kept moving him around, lifting his long limbs as if they were nothing and constraining them on the couch, the more Hyungwon wanted to bite his muscles and permanently attach his legs around his hips. He apprehended that this was a whole new level of separating from his heterosexual comfort zone, but he couldn't give less fucks than he already did. He wanted to touch Hoseok and if the other was going to stop him, appealing to his rational side, he would stuff his face with something long and hard.

Unfortunately that is exactly what the enthralling man in front of him did when Hyungwon regained control and wished to surprise. As soon as Hyungwon gradually slid between Hoseok’s knees, wishing to see the effect it had on the other man (because Hoseok kneeling had influenced him greatly), the blonde asked him if he was okay with what he was doing. He even strove to blame everything on the superabundance of alcohol.

Hyungwon longed to strangle him with his bare hands. Grabbing Hoseok’s knees tighter he fought an eyeroll and formulated his opinion such that even Hoseok should have gotten the point. That is until he realised that Hoseok had expected him to suck his dick. Which he actually hadn’t planned on, but the longer he stared at the other's almost uncovered erection the more he felt comfortable with the prospect. And that was way scarier than the thought itself, so Hyungwon did the only thing he's good at and distracted himself. Eyes eating up Hoseok’s god like body he licked every bit of naked skin he could find and kissed his belly button. Kneeling on the ground between someone's legs had something sensual to it that he enjoyed immensely.

After telling Hoseok that it was his own damn decision whether he would regret something after exercising it, he discovered something he enjoyed even more than kneeling on the ground in front of Hoseok’s spread legs. Sitting spread-legged and naked on Hoseok’s uncovered thighs. The blonde’s ability to just lift him up constantly and put him wherever he wanted him drove Hyungwon mad. Each little touch to his raging erection was like a seizure, taking his breath away and numbing his limbs. The way Hoseok ate him up with his eyes and told him how perfect he was conjured an even deeper blush on his face. If Hoseok enjoyed seeing him like this then he was going to stay there forever as long as he would stare at him with those hungry eyes and not stop caressing him.

When Hoseok’s warm fist closed around Hyungwon’s cock and the last bit of sanity left him he had only one thing he regretted. He had wanted to see Hoseok come untouched because of him. So badly. But Hyungwon was unable to resist Hoseok’s requests. If Hoseok asked him to come for him then he couldn’t do anything else but lean back and orgasm on top of the other man. Spreading his legs further and leaning back, hands touching Hoseok’s knees, giving him more access, Hyungwon fought to keep himself in position. Hoseok kept saying something but he just nodded, chasing his orgasm and wishing for Hoseok’s hands to never leave his body and to stay forever seated on his muscular thighs.

Only when his climax hit him, intense from all the stalling and taking his breath away, he reacquired the ability to perceive his surroundings. He was still sitting on Hoseok’s thighs, chest rising and falling with the intensity of his breath. There was a stabbing pain in his arms and he wasn’t sure how long he could keep them in position, resting on Hoseok’s knees and holding most of his body weight. Again he envied Hoseok for the strength of his body, but if he had been like Hoseok, the other couldn’t have pressed him against the wall so easily. The pain in his arms arms increased unbearably and Hyungwon could feel himself give out.

“Hold me. I can’t hold myself up,” he finally breathed, reaching his limits and wanting nothing more than to bury his face in Hoseok’s neck close his eyes and stay there for an undefined amount of time. Feeling strong arms circle around his waist, holding up his weight, he finally let go, pain disappearing and turning into a pleasant ache like after a long workout. Smelling the other’s expensive cologne and something that was inherently him he just buried his nose deeper into the crook of his neck and placed a kiss right below his ear.

_Shit. That’s not what you do when you have casual hook-ups Hyungwon. You might not know cause you are a fucking sap with two-to-four year relationships, but kissing tenderly after getting off is not a thing._

Hoseok obviously disagreed and caught his lips, moving slowly, savouring every spot on and next to them. Breathing against his skin, stroking his back and head. Despite feeling a little limbless Hyungwon responded as much as he could, loving the way Hoseok treated him carefully. So different from the rough kissing and the way he held him up against the wall. He wanted to return the favor, but was still pretty sure that he sucked when it came to hand jobs. His only hope was that Hoseok wasn’t joking about ‘coming untouched’.

_Or you just ask him what he likes and do it and stop pussying out._

“Hoseok?" Hyungwon asked between tender kisses. Trying to find a pause in which Hoseok wasn’t covering his mouth and could listen to him. “Mhm,” Hoseok breathed while kissing the crook of his neck. Hyungwon really didn’t want him to stop, but the memory of himself sitting there with a raging boner and suffering from lack of contact evoked enough empathy to lift Hoseok’s face until he was looking at him and asking. “What do you like Hoseok?” If Hoseok was going to say ‘you’ Hyungwon couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t do something nasty.  
  
“You.” Hoseok looked up and cupped his jaw. “Why do you ask, isn’t it obvious?”He smiled. Hyungwon was caught off guard, but at the same time he expected it. It was such a smooth thing to say, that basically everybody with at least a little bit of flirting knowledge could pull off. But somehow it seemed so genuine when Hoseok said it. Since Hyungwon was a sassy bitch, he still went with his previous plan. He moved his hand slowly down Hoseok’s abs until he suddenly pushed it under his trunks, and pressed his body closer.

“How much do you want me, Hos-Shit you’re huge.”

Although he intended to say something sexy the weight and sheer size of Hoseok’s dick was enough to ruin everything. A blush crept up his cheeks and he hated himself a little for failing at being in control when it came to Hoseok. What the hell? He wasn’t even the one hot and bothered anymore. He should know how to not blush like a little girl.  
  
Hoseok hissed at the sudden touch and buried his nails in Hyungwon’s back by accident. _Ouch._ Running circles around the spot and whispering “I’m sorry, but fuck,” at the hand around his dick, Hoseok tried visibly hard to come to his senses. Hyungwon decided to use this to get his upper hand back. The moment when he had come and Hoseok hadn’t was the only time he felt in control.

“How do you want me to make you come, Hoseok?" he whispered into Hoseok’s ear, moving his hand up and down a little although his trunks were way too tight to stroke properly. It pissed Hyungwon off a little.

“You don’t need to do anything, I’m fine.” Hoseok said until he felt Hyungwon’s movements. “Fuck.”

Hyungwon grinned shamelessly, watching the switch in Hoseok’s expression with amusement. “I think your huge dick disagrees, Hoseok-ah.” He shifted his hips a little, knowing Hoseok liked the sight of it.  
  
“Shit, don’t make me lose control, Chae Hyungwon.” Hoseok grunted with a voice so low it sent shivers down Hyungwon’s spine. Fuck, Hyungwon wanted him to lose control. Hoseok losing control was his favourite Hoseok. It was the one that just grabbed him and threw him places and sucked his dick on a mini bar. Best Hoseok. Hyungwon repeated the attempt to stroke Hoseok’s dick and did what he always wanted to do. Say the truth right into Hoseok’s face. “But I want you to lose control, Hoseok-ah.”  
  
Hoseok lost it. He kicked away his loose pants with one foot, stood up while holding Hyungwon with one hand, like a paper doll, and walked towards the bathroom. Hyungwon was excited until he saw the destination and understood absolutely nothing. Did Hoseok have a thing for switching location? The blonde put him down in front of the shower. “Get in.” Hoseok’s voice sounded so low, as if he was going to eat him while getting rid of his ruined trunks. As usual Hyungwon wasn’t able to disobey Hoseok when he acted like that. He just tentatively stepped into the gigantic shower. It was funny cause Hyungwon was more of a bathtub person and just laid there for hours instead of cleaning up quickly and running back out.

He didn’t have time to look around and admire the architecture as Hoseok joined him, completely naked, looking like some kind of heracles. So he admired him instead. Hoseok pulled the valve and hot water covered them both. Hyungwon felt a little strange, since he had never showered with another person, blush creeping up. He preferred to be on his own, but Hoseok was quickly changing his mind. The blonde hair was hanging into his eyes when he pulled Hyungwon next to him, bodies wet and naked skin clashing against his body, Hoseok’s mouth kissing every spot on his shoulders, his neck, his hand running along his back, the huge erection pressing against Hyungwon’s hips. Shit, Hyungwon had just orgasmed but he might just as well have returned from a month of being celibate. Hoseok’s teeth nibbled on his earlobe as he heard the low voice whispering. “Now that you made me lose control, I want you to take responsibility. Touch me.”

And fuck, did Hyungwon want to touch him. He felt Hoseok’s hard dick with the fingers of his right hand and closed them carefully, moving the foreskin back and stroking a few times, watching Hoseok’s reaction, enjoying every twitch of his body. “How?" he whispered although his hand had been faster than his mouth. Hoseok asking him for something was incredibly erotic and his brain wasn’t catching up anymore.

Hoseok moaned and propped himself against the shower wall. “Fuck, I want to see those lips around my dick.” Hyungwon’s hand abruptly stopped moving on Hoseok’s hard cock, looking up to his face and seeing him staring right back. Most likely at his lips and looking partially delirious. Hyungwon wanted to see him lose his control even more. He wanted to see him beg, but shit he had never done it and he didn’t want to fuck it up. He had a bad blow-job before and that sure as fuck ruined it. Despite the nervous hammering in his chest he kept eye contact and slowly moved down, bending his knees and sinking to the ground of the shower. It wasn’t as cold as he thought, since the hot water had been running for a while. When Hoseok’s dick was right in front of him he swallowed nervously. This was much more real than it had been a few moments ago. The stray thought that it would be easier since it’s the shower passed him and he couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the reason Hoseok carried him here.

Hoseok looked down on him, swallowed hard and couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped his lips while seeing Hyungwon on his knees in front of him. The reaction gave Hyungwon more courage. It was unbelievable how affected Hoseok was just by seeing him on his knees in front of his dick. Hyungwon hadn’t even done anything yet. He decided to test out how desperate Hoseok was for his mouth and breathed hotly on the tip, still not touching it and blocking the stream of water with his head. “Shit Hyungwon.” Hoseok’s fingers pulled on his wet hair “Please,” he groaned.

Hyungwon fucking loved it. The way Hoseok kept pulling his hair, moving his head towards his dick, kept taking his inhibitions away. Until there were none left.

_Fuck this shit._

He leaned forward and licked over the tip. “Fuck, don’t stop. Please.” The blonde struggled hard not to push Hyungwon’s head against his erection and Hyungwon fought the image of Hoseok roughly fucking his mouth, sending shivers through his body. Pleasant ones. He added a few more licks, remembering his very limited experience with his girlfriends and following a prominent vein with his tongue going upwards and sucking on it on the way back down.“Shit, if you knew how much I want you right now,” Hoseok groaned again in the middle of all those moans coming from his lips.

“You know Hoseok,” Hyungwon breathed against the base of his dick, sucking on the tender skin. “Your dick is huge, so you’re really lucky I have a big mouth.” He grinned up at the desperate blonde.  
  
“Yes, and I would really like to know how it feels like from the inside,” Hoseok smirked down with the leftover sassiness he was able to return. Hyungwon smirked right back, finally having an idea how to downplay his lack of experience smoothly without it being embarrassing. He sat down on his calves, a few centimeters away from Hoseok’s raging dick and looked up at him. “Feel free,” he tempted and opened his mouth, tongue taunting him.  
  
“Fuck. You expect me to fuck this beautiful mouth of yours?” Hoseok’s eyes widened but his hand went right between his legs. Hyungwon smiled as well as he could with his mouth still open. For once Hoseok got the hint without him having to repeat himself, at least not more than once.

“Yep,” he said before opening his mouth again. Hoseok cupped his jaw with his free hand and looked him directly in the eyes.

“How can someone be so fucking beautiful, I’m ruined.” He took his dick and pushed it slowly into Hyungwon’s open mouth, moaning and hissing at the sensation. Hyungwon stayed perfectly still, watching Hoseok’s face and only tasting hot water, despite having worried before. Hoseok’s face was fucking worth it. However, the further Hoseok moved the more he tried not to choke, quickly switching to breathing through his nose and feeling tears prickle his eyes. Hoseok realized and pulled out pushing only half the distance in again, stroking his cheek, cursing and moaning under his breath.

Hyungwon wanted it to feel better, so he tightened his mouth and flattened his tongue on his teeth to not hurt him, sucking the next time Hoseok moved in. “Fuck,” Hoseok moaned loudly grabbing Hyungwon’s hair, whole body shivering. Seeing the reaction Hyungwon didn’t stop sucking, only reluctantly letting Hoseok leave his mouth, licking the tip when he could reach it. However when he looked up to see Hoseok’s eyes closed he was a little upset. Pushing at Hoseok’s hips with his palms he made the other man pause his ministrations.

“I want you to look at me,” he said, voice strangely hoarse, the reason making him blush.

“How could I not look at you, Shit. I could come just from watching you sit in front of me like this, but your mouth does things I can’t explain. Fuck.” Hoseok looked him in the eyes while stroking his hair and removing wet strands from his forehead. The action was strangely intimate, much more so than him thrusting into his mouth and Hyungwon had to look away.

“Let me be honest Hoseok. I have never fucking done this before and I have performance pressure and please please just tell me what to do so I don’t embarrass myself. Thanks,” Hyungwon rushed out while not looking at Hoseok and feeling able to say all of that, only the shower tiles staring back at him instead of Hoseok’s most likely judgemental face.  
  
“First, your mouth is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Second, everything you do is a 10 out of 10. Let me show you something.” Hoseok was such a charmer and Hyungwon wished it wouldn’t work on him but it did. He followed Hoseok’s actions attentively, like an eager student. Hoseok grabbed him and pulled him up on his feet, kissed him tenderly, licking over his swollen lips, tasting his tongue and stroking his arms. Then he suddenly dropped on his knees in front of Hyungwon. “I will show you, so you better watch carefully.”

 _Shit._ So much to Hyungwon having Hoseok under control. He knew exactly that he wouldn’t be able to stay attentive and would turn into a moaning and nodding mess as he always had. “Shit Hoseok, I’ll lose my shit.”  
  
“You can lose it, I’ll collect it for you.” Hoseok smiled and took his erection in his mouth while looking up to make sure Hyungwon was watching. However as soon as Hoseok did that Hyungwon could feel the solidness of the shower wall as his head hit it full force. He never thought that he would hate his ex-girlfriend for never giving him oral because he wasn’t prepared for Hoseok sucking his brains out. The other man flattened his tongue and started moving it under his tip, sending electric impulses through his whole body. If Hyungwon had been semi-hard before he was ready to burst at this point. He tried to look down despite the pain in his head and the pleasure coming from Hoseok’s lips. Both hands grabbed his ass cheeks and Hoseok took him completely in his mouth, tip hitting the back of his throat. Hyungwon screamed, unable to hold it in. Hoseok released him before doing the same once again, sucking and licking in the process, looking up all the way to see Hyungwon’s fucked out face.

Hyungwon couldn’t feel his legs and could swear he was slowly moving down Hoseok’s shower wall, unable to keep himself up and willing to die if Hoseok’s mouth on his dick would be his last sensation. Hoseok licked around the tip, stroking the shaft with his hand. “And now, I will deep throat you again and you will be nice and come for me.” Hyungwon wanted to come, but he also felt that it was so unfair. He had no way to resist as Hoseok brought him closer and closer to his orgasm although he wanted to please Hoseok for once. But as soon as Hoseok’s mouth took all of his length he lost it and came down his throat, gasping and basically almost slipping down the shower wall, however Hoseok’s hands on his ass held him in place and he came without breaking his limbs.

Hoseok released him after the orgasm subsided and placed kisses all over his thighs and crest. He stood up and Hyungwon put his arms around his neck, to remain standing. Hot water ran down their bodies and everything Hyungwon could feel was Hoseok’s warm chest and hips pressing him against the wall, kissing the crook of his neck and fingers raking through his hair.

“At this point-” Hyungwon had to pause to not sound like he ran a marathon. “I’d like to point out that you collecting my shit is rather disgusting.” He chuckled breathlessly and placed a kiss on Hoseok’s lips, warm and wet from the water running over both of their faces. He felt ridiculously happy but it was probably the hormones, liquid euphoria running through his veins. Hoseok kissed him back smiling into the kiss. “Okay, my turn?" Hyungwon asked, ready to sink back to his knees, post-orgasmic bliss still tingling in his limbs.

“No.” Hoseok whispered. “I really want to be close to you, but I can’t when you’re on your knees down there.” He pointed at the shower floor and brought Hyungwon’s body even closer by pushing himself against him.

Hyungwon grinned. “You’re a fucking sap Shin Hoseok,” he answered, letting Hoseok do whatever. It took the pressure off and he was also happy standing under the water with Hoseok’s arms surrounding him, instead of bruising his knees. Hoseok’s lips were everywhere, kissing the wet skin, his nose was brushing against Hyungwon’s chest, Hoseok’s hips grinding into his. It was hot but Hyungwon was also tired as fuck and if Hoseok hadn’t been holding him up he’d already be lying on the shower tiles.

“Hoseok, do you know the song ‘I can’t feel my face when I’m with you’?" he asked, watching how the blonde kissed the area right under his ribs. “You get me very close to ‘I can’t feel my legs when I’m with you’.” Hyungwon chuckled again and grabbed Hoseok’s erection. His fingers were wizened from the water and it was a little disgusting but the blonde still reacted positively. “Tell me how you get yourself off and I’ll do my best to comply.”

“Just touch me. Shit, I’m already close just because your gorgeous fingers are around it.” Hoseok moaned loudly as if to emphasize what he just said. It was unfair, Hoseok kept throwing those compliments at him and there was no way he could just brush them off. So he just nodded, being the submissive piece of shit that he was when Hoseok was involved and increased the pace of his strokes. Pressing his body closer to Hoseok’s but not disturbing his hand he bit the other man’s ear lobe and decided to rile him up some more. Looking down, Hoseok’s erection looked beautiful in his hand, the head pink and precum visible at the tip, slowly spreading with each stroke. Hyungwon rolled his thumb over it, pressing inside a little and squeezed it hard at the base as soon as he could tell Hoseok was close. “Shit Hoseok, I fucking love your dick,” he whispered into his ear, wanting to rile Hoseok up even further.

 _It’s not necessarily riling up when you say the truth Hyungwon._  
  
“And I love y..” Hoseok bit his lip and thrusted into Hyungwon’s hand while propping himself up with one hand against the wall next to Hyungwon’s face. Hyungwon barely stopped himself from just dropping Hoseok’s dick and staring at him like a creep. As if nothing happened he just continued the quick strokes on Hoseok’s cock, kissing his neck and biting his shoulder. Hyungwon had no idea what of him Hoseok loved but he really wanted to know, since it was apparently embarrassing enough to make Hoseok swallow it down without telling him. Again when Hoseok was close he pressed down at the base, waiting until the imminent orgasm subsided. He was an asshole, but it was so fucking worth it.  
  
“I didn’t know you were into torture, but shit you make me lose my fucking mind.” Hoseok was extremely desperate, his body hot as fire, shivering, his defined muscles tensed under every touch and movement of Hyungwon’s hand. The lawyer knew that Hoseok was suffering now, but when he would finally come it was going to be sweet enlightenment.

“Say please,” he whispered, enjoying the way he could make Hoseok feel and being relieved at the other man not asking him to beg yet, cause he would have without being told twice. Hoseok moved his head back and looked at him. Eyes dark, the gaze a little dangerous, blond bangs hanging into his face. “You want me to beg?”

Hyungwon barely resisted screaming ‘no’ like a little girl. Using his height for effect he stared back, but swallowed. “Yes,” he said while still stroking Hoseok’s dick slowly. The blonde smirked and grabbed Hyungwon’s jaw with his thumb and index finger. His teeth caught Hyungwon’s lower lip and he whispered an amused ‘please’ in his mouth.

_Shit. Shit Shit Shit._

He was not fucking ready to deal with Hoseok like that. He’ll never fight for control with him ever again because he was going to fucking lose. Miserably. This was not in his nature, but Hyungwon just knew that Hoseok would fucking wreck him within a few seconds. The experience was no joke and even if Hyungwon fucked half of a gay club he wouldn’t catch up. Not saying anything he whimpered and kissed Hoseok’s lips, increasing the speed of his strokes and giving up on whatever he had been planning before. If Hoseok wanted to come he was going to let him come. “Sorry,” he couldn’t help but whisper.

“Why would you be sorry, after being so good to me,” Hoseok moaned in his mouth again before his whole body tensed and he released himself with a low groan trying to hold onto the wall and Hyungwon’s shoulder.

Hyungwon wanted to see him come again. And again. And preferably close-up and preferably also a whole thirty minute video of just Hoseok coming from different angles. Fuck, he was so whipped. “Shit, you’re sin,” he said, leaning against the shower wall himself and turning off the water. Letting his fingers slip through his wet hair he took a better look at them and frowned.

“My skin looks like a fucking toad, ew,” he exclaimed, features twisting into his signature look.  
  
“You will be the death of me, seriously,” Hoseok whispered while not quite down from his supreme orgasm. “And you look like a fucking meal. A five course meal in a extremely expensive restaurant,” Hoseok added and smiled shyly.

Hyungwon grinned at him, ready to strike back. “Didn’t know that you were into French cuisine.”

Hoseok opened his mouth but the sentence didn’t come out. He looked down without any obvious reason and said “Your fingers are pretty long.”

_What?_

That came completely out of nowhere. Hyungwon had been proud of himself for making a point about his skin looking like a toad and Hoseok eating frog, but here he was looking like a shy little bunny and commenting on his hands. What the actual fuck? He couldn’t just go from ‘I’ll fucking wreck you’ to ‘I don’t know how to act around you’ in a matter of a few seconds. That wasn’t okay! Hyungwon needed to get his expectations straight and get his behaviour on point and... _Why was he doing this!?_

“What?" he asked, eyes still as incredulous as they were as soon as Hoseok mentioned the size of his hands. He lifted his left hand and moved it right in front of Hoseok’s face. Hoseok looked at him and smiled. He randomly placed a kiss on the back of the hand Hyungwon placed right in front of him and went out of the shower. He took two huge white towels, tugged one over his hips and stood in front of the shower pointing at Hyungwon to come to him. This was getting strangely domestic. Hyungwon looked at him suspiciously and just stretched out his arm, waiting for him to give him the damn towel. He could dry himself, thank you very much.

“You better come here, before you catch a fucking cold Chae Hyungwon, your pretty lips are almost the color of my car and it's fucking black.”

Hyungwon was out of the shower and in Hoseok’s arms faster than his car accelerated and that was fucking fast. Shit, he felt like a pushover, but couldn’t do anything about it. “At least it’s not the color of your balls whenever you see me, which tends to be rather blue,” he commented, biting his lip and wanted to hit Hoseok for being this dominant shit.

“Yeah whatever, red, blue, green, just get in the fucking towel.” Hoseok carefully dried his back and arms and got another smaller towel to put it over Hyungwon’s head. Hyungwon felt like a five year old but the look on Hoseok’s face stayed so happy that he couldn’t bring it over himself to say anything mean, just doing whatever the blonde wanted him to. Apparently Hoseok wanted to dry his hair, it was hilarious how he reached up and wiggled the towel at his head.

“What are you so fucking tall for?” Hoseok pouted his lips.

Hyungwon straight out laughed in his face, taking the towel out of his hands and preventing him from ruining his hair even further. Then he turned to take a look at the mirror and wanted to stab Hoseok with a pen. “We neither shampooed nor conditioned it, so if it looks like shit it’s your fucking fault Shin Hoseok.” His reflection was bordering on ‘insulting’.  
  
“Ahahahahahahahahah,” Hoseok laughed back at him “Do you even know how shitty looks like Chae Hyungwon? I bet you don’t, just look at your fucking reflection, being all beautiful and shit.” Hyungwon wasn’t sure in which universe it was okay to try to win an argument with a compliment, but Hoseok was pretty good at it. Hyungwon just stared at him for a second, before giving up and looking for a brush to fix the mess that was his hair. Being unsuccessful his eyes searched the marble for at least something hair related.  
  
Hoseok left the bathroom and went somewhere screaming through the whole apartment whether Hyungwon needed new clothes. “My clothes are perfectly fine,” Hyungwon called back, finally finding something that resembled a brush and would have to do. “In addition it’s late and I’ll have to go home soon. I brought you the bill for the case.” As soon as the words left his mouth Hyungwon was aware of how bad the timing was. Here he was standing in Shin Hoseok’s bathroom after having the second orgasm of the day and having attempted to suck the other man off only to give him a bill for his services. He sounded like a fucking prostitute.  
  
Hoseok didn’t answer anything, he walked into the bathroom fully dressed and leaned against the door frame, blonde hair messily falling over his forehead. Hyungwon was busy parting his hair, and fluffing it, already looking much more orderly than Hoseok. He was in a towel and felt strangely naked next to the fully dressed man. He gave him one look and walked right out the bathroom, looking for the suit that Hoseok had spread through the living room and slipping back into the tight fabric. Hoseok didn’t return from the bathroom yet, he just stayed leaning on the doorframe, not moving an inch.

As soon as Hyungwon felt more like himself he looked for the piece of paper he prepared in his pocket. Sitting down on Hoseok’s couch he took another look at it. It seemed accurate enough. “You coming?" he called when Hoseok still didn’t appear.  
  
“I, could you just leave it on the kitchen counter, I’m not feeling well suddenly, I think I’ll go to sleep now.” Hoseok disappeared from the bathroom door and walked fast towards his bedroom. That was sudden and made absolutely no sense as usual. Hyungwon wanted to follow, but just barging into someone’s bedroom when the door was closed was fucking rude, so Hyungwon refrained and stayed seated, wondering if he had done something that would upset Hoseok. He had seemed distant and strange, but as soon as they kissed it was okay again, so the sudden transition wasn’t really clear. Sighing he stood up, placed the piece of paper on the table and moved towards the bedroom door. “I’ll leave then. Please rest and don’t stress yourself too much,” he spoke into the door frame, before putting on his shoes and leaving quietly.  
  
Even when he was walking down the stairs he couldn’t help the feeling that he shouldn’t have left, but when he was sitting inside his car and started the engine it was already too late to return.

Hoseok was a mystery and Hyungwon couldn’t help the feeling that he had the wrong approach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will come on sunday evening :)


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can it just disappear while my mind is still the fucking same?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a hint at a depressive episode and self-destructive behaviour (no self-harm though).
> 
> Smut_ Hemingway: I want to thank Epik high and Lee Taemin for making two amazing albums that helped me get into the right mood while writing Hoseok.

It has been two weeks. No, almost three weeks, nineteen days to be exact, since Hyungwon put his bill on the kitchen table and left, while Hoseok sat, head buried between his knees on the floor of his bedroom, repeatedly whispering ‘don’t go’.

He had been happy, genuinely happy, before Hyungwon mentioned the money and Hoseok’s brain recollected what kind of situation they were in. It had been the end of their business relationship and nothing was supposed to follow, Hyungwon’s actions returned him back to reality but it had hurt so much that he couldn’t handle it. How was Hoseok supposed to look him in the eyes and talk about money without crying. It was pathetic, he was pathetic, so he had decided to do what he was best at, running away and regretting it later.  
  
Hoseok had spent the last weeks producing like a crazy person, music occupied his brain. After Hyungwon left he hadn’t met anybody and changed his phone number, because the woman tried to call him once. He just wanted to be numb to everything but music, to make the agonizing feeling in his chest disappear.

Hoseok’s day started at 5 AM, he drove to his studio, closed himself in, started the computer and plugged in the mixing machine. After about ten hours of producing he got food delivery, ate and continued working until it was almost 1 AM. Tired and worn out, he jumped in his car, drove home in the night, took a shower and slept for about three hours, to get up at 5 AM and go back to his studio.

He looked at himself in the mirror after coming back home from another twenty hours of non-stop working. He must’ve lost quite some weight, his figure didn’t look broad anymore, dark circles under his eyes, pale skin that appeared even more pale in contrast to his dark hair. He had dyed it black a week ago because he was too tired of taking care of the black roots.

If he was honest with himself, he was just tired, extremely tired. His limbs almost refused to move out of bed every day, he didn’t work out for two weeks apart from some routine in his studio to get his blood circulation going. His eating habits were dangerous, he ate only once and he barely finished because the appetite was gone.  
  
_Are you trying to die Hoseok?_  
  
No.

But he tried his best to numb the pain that grew inside his chest instead of fading. Hoseok looked at his collarbone, but the bite mark Hyungwon left on it almost disappeared.  
  
_How can it just disappear while my mind is still the fucking same?_  
  
Amazed and smiling bitterly at how his body handled painful memories more effectively than him, he moved towards his mini bar. A shot was exactly what he needed now, something to exchange the burning feeling in his chest with a more bodily focused one. Opening the bottle with a plop, he poured a significant amount in the black crystal glass.  
  
Hoseok hated himself, hated his brain, his exceptional memory for remembering everything, every single detail, every movement, every touch, every scent, every single word said. Storing everything carefully somewhere he couldn’t erase it, in case he would need it later.  
  
_What for? To make me suffer? Fuck._  
  
A pale fist hit against the wall. Hoseok never really understood what happened, but kept overthinking every situation and every word over and over again until his brain wasn’t able to identify reality anymore and made up fantasies.

The fist slid down in a pathetic attempt to justify the pitiful state Hoseok was in. It just didn’t help. Nothing helped. Working like a crazy person, not eating, not sleeping, sleeping too much, drinking insane amounts of alcohol, nothing made Hyungwon’s face disappear from in front of his eyes every time he closed them. Nothing made him forget how his fingers felt like against his skin, how Hyungwon’s body, barely weighting anything crumbled because of Hoseok’s touch.  
  
Hoseok’s brain was making up reasons for calling Hyungwon, to just go there, those three blocks, he would’ve been there in minutes. Sometimes, when he drank, he almost went there, but his nails buried themselves into his thigh muscles, pain shot through his body and he kept himself from going.

What would he have told Hyungwon if he went? That he liked him? That he didn’t know what the fuck he wanted from him? That he just wanted to be next to him and didn’t care about anything else? Hyungwon would have laughed at him. At least. How pathetic was that? Hyungwon was straight, he had fun with him, and that was it. He didn’t have any reason to deal with all this anymore.  
  
_Only you. You have to deal with all this now._  
  
He gulped down another shot, but every shot he took tasted like Hyungwon’s sarcastic smile.  
  
_Please make it stop, Fuck._  
  
Hoseok didn’t remember suffering like this because of someone before. He was sad, he was angry, he was dissatisfied but he was never this thin, pale, devastated mess he happened to be right at that moment.  
  
_Maybe because you can’t have him. You selfish bastard._  
  
The reason was simple. He wanted Hyungwon so much, but he couldn’t have him. He liked him, but he knew the other didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Sucking in the burning scent of the cognac, he sat down on the couch. Touching the beige leather next to him, he remembered Hyungwon sitting there, looking him in the eyes and smiling.  
  
Hoseok sucked in a long breath. He was not going to cry while drinking himself into oblivion because of some selfish crush, but a tear managed to roll down his cheek before he realized.  
  
He grabbed the fabric of the pants he changed into after the shower and realization hit him like a brick.  
  
_Why the fuck are you wearing Hyungwon’s pants? Are you dumb?_  
  
Shit, he forgot to return Hyungwon clothes. What the actual fuck? He just sat there crying while wearing Hyungwon’s sweatpants, how pathetic was that? There was no possibility of him bringing them there, he would die on the spot. He decided to send them in a package the next morning. Facepalming himself for his lack of brains a thought appeared suddenly.  
  
_Changkyun. Call him, go somewhere and get fucking drunk._  
  
Hoseok searched for his phone for half an hour because he didn’t use it after he changed the number, but managed to find it in the pocket of the black pants he wore two weeks ago. He dialed the familiar number, swallowing hard after realizing the 28 missed calls appearing next to Changkuns name.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t even care that it’s 2 AM and you’re calling as if it’s nothing. I pretended to be your dad to get your number from the phone company. Hoseok I called you a quadzillion times and I fucking stood in front of your door ten times in the past week. I called every fucking person who is semi-close to you, nobody knows what the fuck you are doing. Are you mental?” Changkyun stopped to catch his breath for a moment.  
  
“Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Hoseok didn’t know what to say, because he simply didn’t think about anybody but himself and Hyungwon for the past three weeks.  
  
“You know what? I hope you’re dead, because if you’re not, you bet I'll fucking choke you with my bare hands! Do you think it’s okay to make me worry like I’m your fucking mom? I hate you.” Wow Changkyun seemed extremely upset. Hoseok wasn’t ready to deal with so much emotion at once.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’ll hang up then.” Hoseok let out a sigh.  
  
“Don’t you fucking dare Hoseok!” Changkyun screamed through the speaker. “You better get your fucking ass in public again. I don’t know what the hell happened, but you probably need distraction, so let’s meet up tomorrow. The one cocktail bar on the 24th street, 8 PM. If you don’t come I’ll call the police. I'm not kidding.” The kid was screaming through the phone line like a crazy person. He must have worried a lot. Hoseok found it strange that someone was worried about him.  
  
_Yeah, only because you hate yourself doesn’t mean others do too._  
  
True that. Hoseok felt incredibly thankful for Changkyun screaming and cursing at him. It distracted from the suffocating feeling he had to deal with when he was alone. It would be better to go out, drink, have fun, talk with people and not concentrate on his own pathetic thoughts, showering in self pity.  
  
Hoseok closed his eyes while leaning back, he was so tired. Only the silence and Hyungwon’s dazzling face, that appeared in front of his inner eye reminded him that he was not over it.  
  
At all.

***

Black belt falling to the floor with an echoing clack, Hyungwon ripped the black silk shirt he wore of his shoulders, crumpling it with his fingers and throwing it into a random corner of the bedroom. It joined the indefinite amount of work shirts that have accumulated in the exact same spot over the last three weeks. It was Sunday and Hyungwon had just returned from a successful hearing, client ecstatic, judge satisfied and journalists fed. The only exception to the perfect combination was Hyungwon. The lawyer was dissatisfied.

No matter how well the judge reacted to Hyungwon‘s proposals and how bad the defence was, the list of things driving him up the wall was endless. He threw his pants on a different heap, harassing the fabric similarly to his shirt. He hoped that it would bring him peace of mind, expressing his anger physically instead of verbally for once, but it did absolutely nothing.

The amount of time he had spent at work the past three weeks was his best record yet, 75h weeks filling his time table and distracting him from all the emotions he tried to keep in check. Emotions he hadn't even known were there until Hoseok decided to change his number and not fucking tell him about it. They could have just talked to each like normal human beings instead of hiding or dropping it like a fucking fling.

_Which is obviously exactly what it was to Hoseok. You were a fling._

Hyungwon closed his eyes forcefully and breathed through his nose. The thought fucking hurt, because he thought they could have at last been friends. He genuinely liked Hoseok, even if their encounters kept on escalating. He would have preferred to keep him around.

_Too bad you were a boytoy though._

Hyungwon took a raggy t-shirt he wasn’t sure he washed and pulled it over his head, knuckles white from the effort with which he pressed his nails into his palms. He wanted a physical way to release his anger but Hoseok’s face wasn't in front of him to punch the living daylights out of it.

_That asshole fucking deserves it._

Hyungwon lay down on his bed, pushing the blanket all the way up to his chin and not bothering with sweatpants. He was alone and no one was going to visit him, he made sure of that. He was already proud of the fact that he had enough motivation to sort his pants and shirts in separate heaps, considering what a mess he was on the inside. No reason to try any harder than necessary. Sleep time was limited when he took three times the amount of cases he usually did. Changkyun would have his head on a platter if he knew.

But he didn't because Hyungwon had strategically agreed to come to the bar with him the next day, making it impossible to figure out he wasn’t okay and had already broken three cognac glasses with his bare hands. Not accidentally. He'd have loved to lie and say it just happened to be cognac tumblers, but whenever he saw the glass cupboard in his living room his brain gave him images of Hoseok desperately trying to get drunk before he had kissed him. The thought made him want to throw the whole collection against the wall.

And still no matter how many glasses he broke and how many cases he took, Hyungwon wasn’t distracted and just kept returning to the same damn scene. The same damn thought of what if. What if he hadn't just left like that? What if he'd asked Hoseok about what's wrong? Asked him what was going on between them and what to do about it? Told him that he was attracted to another man and it was a first for him and he was just too proud to admit his lack of knowledge?

But it was pointless.

_Because Hoseok would have dropped you either way. What did you expect? Just because you've never been with a man he won't toy with you and drop you like one of his thirsty bitches?_

_You're pathetic Hyungwon._

Pushing the blanket over his chin Hyungwon felt desperate. He simply didn't know what to do anymore. Before Hoseok changed his number he hadn't been aware of how crucial their meetings had been. The naive idea of just moving on with his life despite having been sexually involved with a man hadn't left his head for a whole week.

He kept distracting himself, thinking that he was an adult and he'd just return to what he had done before. But it didn't fucking work! Hoseok couldn't just fuck up his sexuality and then disappear like dust, not calling, changing his number and making it impossible for Hyungwon to reach him. And he had enough pride to not ask Changkyun. That would have just shown how hopeless he was and he wasn't. He was fucking angry. He wanted to see Hoseok and hit him in the jaw, preferably hearing the satisfying crack at the contact.

Feeling thirsty Hyungwon climbed out of bed reluctantly, moving towards the kitchen to make some tea. The realization that he had basically no food wasn't too surprising in itself but not even having tea was new. A gaze towards the living room area caused a shiver to run through his body. He had avoided it because of his destructive tendencies. In addition his body reacted every time he saw the mini bar, memories crushing in on him and not giving him a break.

He hated Hoseok for ruining his libido. He hated him so much. He hated him so fucking much he wanted to roll up in his bed and cry.

Immediately turning away from the living area, couch visible from where he was standing in the open kitchen, Hyungwon quickly walked back to the bedroom, throwing himself on the bed and hiding under the blanket.

Before Hyungwon had been perfectly fine on his own until he ended up liking someone and dated for a few years. He had left his ex girlfriend two years ago and not even once he regretted being on his own. He had been fine. But Hoseok just walked in saying ‘I'm here to fuck shit up’ and ruined everything. He was embarrassed thinking about the amount of times he had jerked off to the thought of Hoseok or what Hoseok had been doing to him. He couldn't help it. He hated him. And himself.

The worst was that Hyungwon was all alone with his thoughts. The only person he could have talked to decided that he's not worth the effort and just a nice pair of lips around his dick. Hyungwon bit his lips painfully at the thought, regretting that he had given in and granted Hoseok what he wanted. He should have stood his ground and not melt in the other's arms like he did. Shit. He had been so fucking easy.

Hyungwon punched his pillow in frustration repeatedly, the movement exerting his muscles after a while but not calming him down. “I fucking hate you Shin Hoseok!” he screamed into through the room and did his best to ignore the burning in his eyes, probably a stupid feather from his high quality pillow. Sleep was a luxury in his state.

When Hyungwon woke up the next day he successfully occupied himself with work as usual, just that there was no need to dirty any new clothes, as all his tasks were possible at home. The thought was calming since he didn't have to see the journalist that increased the effort with which she harassed him.

_Your own damn fault for using her to get your sexuality straight Hyungwon. Just that it didn't work, in both senses of the word._

He didn't know what he had been thinking. Nothing except for the childish wish to return things to the way they were and maybe proof to himself that there were people out there he wanted more than Hoseok. It was futile considering he hated casual hook ups and couldn't get himself to feel much unless he knew the person.

_Funny cause that should have made you think before you jumped Hoseok._

_Just that Hoseok fucking used you although he was the experienced one._

Hyungwon wanted to break the glass of water he was holding, but controlled himself last minute. His left hand already had enough partially healed scratches from his rage outbursts. It was time to get ready to go to the bar with Changkyun although he didn't really want to. He hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since Hoseok spoiled him with 2k cognac. He would be bad company and have to come up with a good reason as to why he didn’t want to drink.

_Just say you're coming right from work and that you'll have to drive back._

It wasn't too far from the truth.

Hyungwon opened his walk in wardrobe and breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that he only used suits but didn't dirty any of his casual wear, so he could look fabulous despite his current state of mind. A bit of BB cream and blush was going to fix the rest. Changkyun was going to believe he was having the time of his life instead of compiling a list of methods to kill a person.

When Hyungwon was finally dressed in ridiculously tight, light blue ripped jeans, a loose shirt and a bomber jacket, finishing the whole look off with timberlands, he felt good. Almost like himself again, still angry but hot and sassy. After drinking another glass of water to prevent himself from getting dehydrated in the bar he grabbed his car keys and walked out the door. Only to step on something that made a disgusting crumbling noise in front of his door step.

A black Gucci bag. In front of his door. Hyungwon‘s pulse sped up immediately, cold sweat starting at his nape and spreading to his palms. There was only one person he knew that would buy something at Gucci and not treasure the bag like their left leg.

_Shin Hoseok._

Hyungwon grabbed the bag with sweaty palms, fingers already ripping it open to find a pair of sweatpants and shirt.

Hyungwon‘s excitement was crushed by the biggest wave of disappointment he ever experienced. His chest burned and he wanted to take the bag and rip everything to tiny little pieces, tiny enough to be invisible.

_Shin Hoseok you fucking coward. You could have just come and talk to me. You were in front of the fucking door, barely a few meters away from me. I stayed home the whole day and know you didn't even try. You fucking coward._

The tears that burned in his eyes were out of anger and not because Hoseok hurt more than just his pride.

 

***

  
Folding the sweatpants and the shirt Hyungwon lent him in a neat heap and packing them into a black gucci paper bag, Hoseok felt like he was ripping out his heart and giving it away. It was so pitiful that he almost started laughing and crying at the same time. Somehow he managed to be pathetic most of the time in the last three weeks.

He was meeting Changkyun later in the evening, so he decided to prepare by collecting his balls and just drop by Hyungwon’s apartment to leave the clothes in front of his door. The lawyer would probably be busy working at that time of the day and Hoseok would be fine.  
  
_Don’t lie to yourself, you won’t be fine. Just drop it off and go drink until you see stars you pathetic human._  
  
It was half past two as Hoseok buckled up and started the engine. There was no way he was going by foot, he felt much safer in his car that could accelerate and bring him away in a matter of seconds if he needed it to.  
  
Yeah you have a perfect car for running away Hoseok. Fuck.  
  
The Audi arrived in front of the black apartment building after two minutes, Hoseok grabbed the gucci bag and went in. He walked towards the elevator, while smiling shyly at the security guard who obviously recognized him. Shit. That was a bad idea, all of it. But he couldn’t go back now, so he just walked into the elevator and pressed the 14.

The seconds the elevator needed to reach the floor were filled with Hoseok breathing in and out trying hard not to hyperventilate from all the thoughts that flooded his brain all of the sudden. It was there again, the feeling of suffocation pressing his lungs together making him clench his fists and breathe out loudly. It was like some kind of trauma, he was so scared of accidentally meeting Hyungwon that he almost panicked.

Thankfully the pain from his nails digging in his thigh brought him back and he caught his breath while walking out of the elevator, moving his shaky legs forward as fast as possible. He dropped the bag in front of the familiar door and turned around. Hoseok was literally running away. Again. He only stopped after reaching the elevator and repeatedly pressed the ground floor like a mental person.  
  
_Shit, Fuck, Hoseok why are you like this. What are you so afraid of? Hyungwon?_  
_Don’t you dare shit yourself. You’re afraid of him looking at you and realizing what a pathetic mess you are._  
  
He needed to drink. Maybe even someone pretty with a thin long body to have fun with.  
  
_Someone who resembled Hyungwon._  
  
Fuck, nevermind, he was just going to drink. He had no idea how to deal with all this mess. He forcefully prevented himself from running out of the building like a maniac, and walked slowly towards his Audi. A couple of deep breaths and he started the engine.  
  
You’re really done now Hoseok. Now get your life together.  
  
Arriving at home he had another hour to get ready which was more than enough. He didn’t care how he looked anyway, the women would probably still jump him, even if he was much thinner than before, not that he cared in particular.

Hoseok slept enough today so the dark circles disappeared and only his lean muscular pale body was left as a reminder that he had no drive to live a healthy life for the past three weeks. No drive to live at all to be honest.  
  
Walking out of the shower completely naked and stopping in front of his full-length mirror Hoseok examined himself properly for the first time in those past weeks. Black hair, brown eyes, his face was really thin, sharp jawline, his cheeks were gone, shit, he must have lost six to seven kilograms, it was actually crazy he didn’t realize.

Hoseoks body wasn’t that broad anymore, but the muscles were much more defined. He looked like one of those greek marmor statues in the metropolitan. Well apart from the fact that his dick was thrice the size. But it was useless anyway, he couldn’t think of anything apart from Hyungwon for the past three weeks which was also the reason he didn’t touch himself. He knew the images would appear again and make his life hell.  
  
He picked black gucci underwear, black ripped jeans and a white shirt with blue pockets. It was more than enough. Completing the procedure with his favourite perfume he was distracted which felt exceptionally nice. Realizing he had another half an hour Hoseok decided to drink something beforehand. He wasn’t going by car because he knew he would be drunk as fuck and taking a cab either way.  
  
Pouring gin into the glas Hoseok remembered Hyungwon trying to save him from choking on sushi. That evening. Why did everything feel like regret when he thought about it? Was it because of him not being able to stop, because he didn’t stop Hyungwon? Because Hoseok enjoyed all that so much, that he thought it would change something? Why did Hyungwon repeatedly say he wanted all that in the first place?  
  
_Why?_ _Did you think he would like you after blowing him or something? Fucking idiot, how old are you, twelve?_  
  
The bitter taste of the gin mixed with the bitterness he felt returning from somewhere deep inside his mind. Hoseok missed him. He genuinely missed Hyungwon, everything about him, seeing that sassy, sarcastic smile playing on his lips, him moving around gracefully in his carefully picked clothes that made Hyungwon’s model-like figure stand out even more. Perfectly styled hair, brunette bangs hanging over his forehead, his huge dark-brown eyes, the gaze glued to Hoseok’s face, his body. Those perfectly shaped full, plump lips. Hoseok missed every single detail he remembered and the burning alcohol didn’t make it any better.  
  
_Stop. Just go distract yourself. Memories won’t change the facts Hoseok._  
  
The cab arrived at the location after five minutes and Hoseok slowly walked into the bar. He forgot how it felt like to have people around him. Loud music and loud talk mixed together into something that made his head hurt. The alcohol would make it go away eventually.  
  
Giving up his search for someone who resembled Changkyun, Hoseok dropped himself on a free chair at the bar counter and got a long island ice tea. The liquid burned down his throat, loud talk, stuffy air and the music didn’t bother him anymore. He decided to write Changkyun after finishing his cocktail and ordering another one. The alcohol fueled his veins with warm lava and the feeling was a welcome distraction.  
  
‘Hey Bro, where are you? Hoseok’  
  
His phone vibrated, damn Changkyun was fast.  
  
‘Welcome to the world of the living. I’m on the left side of the bar, I kept a spot free for you, so just move your ass here. Kkung.’  
  
Well then let’s get screamed at.

Hoseok, stood up, grabbed his cocktail and moved through the crowd, eyes searching for his friend and ignoring everything else. He recognized Changkyun’s ugly ringed sweater and put on his nicest smile to prevent the boy from ripping him into pieces.  
  
“Hey, did you miss me?” Hoseok hugged Changkyun’s shoulders. The other turned around and sharp pain spread through Hoseok’s insides. This fucker just punched him, what the fuck.

“Do you want me to hit back? Because I’m pretty sure you will cry like a little girl.” Hoseok tried to stay composed despite the fact that it still hurt. He swallowed down the wish to punch Changkyun in the face, took a sip of his cocktail and sat on the chair next to him. He pulled out his nicest smile and looked at the boy, until his eyes met the pair of huge brown eyes staring at him right behind Changkyun’s face.  
  
_No. No, please no. Please, Shit. Hyungwon. Fuck._  
  
Karma decided to fuck him doggy style as Chae Hyungwon’s huge eyes looked at him, as if the lawyer tried to kill him with his stare right on the spot.  
  
“Fuck.” Shit, Hoseok said that out loud. His smile faded and he tried hard not to reflect the mess that was going on inside of him while holding onto the cocktail, one hand on his thigh, nails ready to keep him from going crazy.  
  
“So you think it’s okay to be dead for like three weeks, not answering my calls and then come here as if nothing happened?” Changkyun’s monologue passed his ears as he was caught in the lawyer’s gaze.

Hyungwon was taking deep breaths as if keeping himself from running over to Hoseok and wrenching his soul from his body. He looked so furious. “Changkyun,” the lawyer interrupted whatever it was that came splurging from the other's mouth. “Can you get me a drink? I changed my mind, something nice and strong please.” Hyungwon looked like fucking sin. Hoseok’s memories didn't do him justice. He looked exactly like ruining his fucking life.  
  
_Already happened_ , _shit. Just run somewhere Hoseok, you’re not ready for this, you fucking cried on your couch, fuck._  
  
“Ehm, yeah I’ll go to the restroom then.”

Hoseok stood up from his chair, turned around and walked towards somewhere he thought the restroom would be, but it happened to be in the opposite direction and had to turn around. Right into Hyungwon’s chest.

“If you wouldn't look like shit I would have already broken your fucking jaw, Shin Hoseok.”

Hoseok stared at the other man hovering over him. Hyungwon obviously used his height as a weapon and seemed extremely angry. Well he could be, Hoseok did stuff to him, but he must’ve been living his life nicely and forgetting about him.

“Why? I transferred your money on the same day, didn’t I?” Hoseok looked at Hyungwon, smiling bitterly. He couldn’t stop himself and just walked past an outraged looking Hyungwon in the direction of the restroom, legs shaking and fingers clenched into fists. This was hard.

Hyungwon didn't let him go far, long legs catching up quickly and grabbing his wrist forcefully. “Stop running away like a coward and fucking talk to me Hoseok!” His voice was unusually loud and Hoseok could decipher every word clearly despite the music. He couldn’t handle all this, he needed a couple of minutes to collect himself.

“Listen, I really don’t want to urinate here okay? You can wait in front of the restroom for me.” Hyungwon let him go as if burned, eyes narrowing and expression unreadable.

“Excuses,” the lawyer whispered, as Hoseok used the moment and disappeared into the men’s restroom.  
  
He was panting hard, hands turned white from clenching and sweat formed on his forehead. Why was he here, why couldn’t he just disappear? Hoseok looked at himself in the mirror. Scared was not an option. He washed his face with cold water multiple times, until a soft blush crept up his cheeks and arranged his bangs.

Fuck. He just needed to breathe properly and answer Hyungwon’s questions about money or whatever the other one wanted to know. What was Hyungwon even thinking while touching him and being so angry and beautiful and fuck, he couldn’t handle seeing him again like this.

Hoseok decided to go out and face the other although his insides were turning. He didn't understand what the lawyer wanted from him. He transferred the money, double the amount and returned the clothes, what was Hyungwon angry at him for? Hoseok just had to make sure not to touch him. Under no fucking circumstances.

He spotted Hyungwon leaning against the wall across the door of the men's restroom. He didn’t close the distance, leaving a meter space between their bodies.

“Shoot.”

Hoseok felt his chest clench and a strong pull in the pit of his stomach.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will come very soon :)


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not fucking done with you yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's a few hours later than announced, as we pulled an all-nighter watching BTS perform at the AMAs (sucks to be in Europe sometimes). 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update!

Hyungwon sipped slowly on his orange juice and felt satisfied at his success. Changkyun thought he was being himself and just babbled on and on about space and having friends that don't care about him and how he had to be everyone's babysitter. Hyungwon had no idea what he was on about, but as long as he had something to drink and the music didn't kill his ear drums he was okay.

His brain kept returning to the black gucci bag in front of his door, one of the most cowardly things he had ever seen in his life. Even when he had been fifteen and confessed to a girl he had the balls to talk to her personally. Rejection was so much easier than that. Hoseok should have just told him he didn't intend to keep this up.

_Right and you would have just jumped him until he changed his mind Hyungwon._

He looked around the bar, glad that he didn't recognize anyone until the word ‘Hoseok’ left Changkyun‘s lips spontaneously and he felt like he had been hit with a bucket of cold water. “What did you say?" Hyungwon asked doing his best to look nonchalant but failing miserably.

Changkyun looked up from his cocktail, most likely aware of the fact that Hyungwon had spaced out and grinned. “Just said that I hate being Hoseok’s mom.”

Now that was weird. If there was something that a huge guy like Hoseok didn't need then it was someone like Changkyun as his mom. Taking another sip of his orange juice Hyungwon realized something and wished he hadn't. They were talking about Hoseok. He could ask about him. Find out how he's doing. Hear that he's doing perfectly fine while Hyungwon was having anger management issues.

_Forget it Hyungwon. You'll be better off without knowing._

“How is he actually?” The words left his lips against his will, spilling out and forcing a painful spasm of his stomach.

“Hoseok?" Changkyun asked, oblivious to the discomfort saying the name caused Hyungwon. He just nodded, which was very uncharacteristic and should have made Changkyun suspicious, but the younger just grinned some more.

“Well, why don't you just ask him yourself? He should be here in a bit.”

Changkyun lifted his phone, pointing at a message with the small letters ‘Bunny-Hyung’ written on top of it. Hyungwon wanted to rip the phone from his hands and break it.

 _Of course Changkyun has his new number Hyungwon. They are friends for fuck's sake_.

The orange juice suddenly tasted like piss, so he spit out the straw and placed his hand on the table, tightly clenched in a fist. “Is he now?” The sarcasm in Hyungwon voice was dripping like honey, ready to engulf everyone and everything and suffocate them in the sticky texture.

Changkyun had the audacity to laugh. “Chill Won, you look like you want to break his neck. Same, but trust me I'm first. The guy was a fucking dick to me. Didn't reply to my messages and shit. ” Typing something on his phone, probably to Hoseok, he looked away. Hyungwon was furious. He wanted to take Changkyun’s phone and hit him in the face with it. Not answering messages? At least he was able to send some and wasn't cut off without any further notice! Having to deal with his newly developed issues himself and double the amount of money transferred as if he had been paid for sexual services. The lawyer had transferred the excess amount right back, in increments to get all the creative insults he could come up with into the limited number of signs under ‘reference’.

Hyungwon wanted to cry in frustration.

That is until a much too familiar figure walked over and hugged Changkyun. It was strange. Hoseok’s hair wasn't blonde anymore, instead black strands much like Changkyun’s littered his head. His face was pale and cheeks sunken, ripped jeans not as tight around his thighs as they had been only three weeks ago. He looked dead in comparison and Hyungwon still hated him. Even when you were dead you could tell someone to at least give your new number to your lawyer.

Fighting the urge to stuff food into Hoseok’s face to not feel bad in case he screamed at him, Hyungwon stared at the now black haired man with contempt and waited for him to realize he was actually there. Very fitting of Hoseok to ignore him now that he dropped him like a toy he didn't want to play with anymore.

When Hoseok turned around his expression wasn’t surprise as Hyungwon anticipated but terror. He looked fucking terrified as if that one aunt you hated suddenly decided to pop by for Christmas.

_Ouch._

The loud ‘fuck’ that left Hoseok’s lips was just another indicator and Hyungwon wanted to grab his chest at the coil that kept burning there without his permission.

Changkyun was completely oblivious to the situation and just started his monologue on what an asshole Hoseok had been but Hyungwon couldn't give less of a shit about what an asshole he had been to Changkyun because it wasn't fucking comparable. Controlling the contempt in his voice he asked Changkyun to get drinks, using a voice that made it impossible to disobey. Now that Hyungwon had to deal with Hoseok he might just as well drink a damn cocktail.

“Ehm, yeah I'll go to the restroom then.“

 _That piece of SHIT_.

Hoseok was already moving in the completely opposite direction of the bathroom, attempting to flee from him like the coward he was. Hyungwon didn't hesitate before he ran after him. Now that he had Hoseok in front of him, bumping into his chest with the effort to escape, he wasn't going to let him until Hyungwon had said every fucking thing he had wanted to tell him the past three weeks.

Looking at the terrified, slimmed down face Hyungwon couldn't help but feel a little bad for wanting to punch him. He really looked like he had a shit week.

_Still not a reason to treat you like a prostitute Hyungwon._

“If you wouldn't look like shit I would have already broken your fucking jaw, Shin Hoseok,” Hyungwon forced out through his teeth, emotions in disarray. He had been impatient for the other man's reply, wanting to know how he was going to justify himself, but there he was asking whether Hyungwon hadn't gotten the money.

_The fucking money? So he thinks that you’re a greedy piece of shit that is angry at him for not transferring enough money for sexual services?! Is that it?_

Hyungwon’s blood was boiling and he couldn't breathe. Ignoring him Hoseok just walked past him, basically running in the direction of the bathroom, but Hyungwon was faster. He grabbed the other's wrist forcefully, turning him around and not letting him go.

“Stop running away like a coward and fucking talk to me Hoseok!” he screamed forcefully, voice cracking at the end. The other man’s face stayed pensive, unreadable and less terrified than it had been. Using that pathetic excuse of needing the bathroom he just peeled Hyungwon’s grip off and disappeared into the crowd.

_At least he said you can talk to him when he's out of the restroom._

Hyungwon huffed out the breath of air he had been holding and walked over to the restroom, leaning against a nearby wall. He knew exactly that it wouldn't be the same. Hoseok hadn't expected him and catching him off guard would have been the best way to get the truth. Now he had time to come up with excuses that he would serve Hyungwon on a beautifully and rationally arranged plate.

He was so furious that he wanted to cry again.

After about two minutes, Hoseok’s lean figure stepped out of the restroom and walked towards him. He stopped in the middle, leaving a ridiculous distance between them. What was Hyungwon supposed to do, call him over the phone? Well maybe he would have if Hoseok had honoured him with the digits instead of turning a cold shoulder. The way the other man behaved resembled that of a school boy who knew that he fucked up but wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences yet. They were adults for fuck's sake!

“Shoot,” Hoseok said, voice distant and Hyungwon really wished he had a gun to do exactly that.

“Do you want me to scream at you?” He closed most of the distance with angry strides and stood in front of the raven-haired, his clenched fists mere centimeters away from the other’s hips. Brown orbs widened in terror, right in front of him. He could see the sickly white of Hoseok’s skin, even paler than it had been before. Hyungwon took a deep breath to collect the resources for all those things he wanted to scream in Hoseok’s face only to...release it again.

 _Shit_.

What was he supposed to tell him? He hadn’t really thought about it before. There was no way in hell that he could just tell Hoseok everything the way he thought it. What was he supposed to say? ‘I loved it when you touched me and now I feel like a whore?’ How the hell do you say that without sounding like a _needy whore_? Hyungwon kept staring at Hoseok wordlessly and released an angry huff to procrastinate.

The black haired just stood in front of him quietly staring at his face as if it physically hurt him to look at him.

 _That piece of shit_.

Pretending to be the victim again. He had pretended too, back when they drank for the last time to celebrate the end of the case. Asking him if Hyungwon thought he wanted to fuck him and looking offended when Hyungwon said that he did.

 _Arrogant prick_.

Remembering the fact that Hoseok had assumed he wanted to talk to him about not having received enough money he growled and grabbed Hoseok’s arm gratingly. “Who the fuck do you think you are to just transfer double the amount of money? Didn’t I tell you the exact amount?" he spewed in his face, hoping the pained expression would finally leave the other’s features. He wasn’t the fucking victim here. Hyungwon was. _He_ was the one who had to deal with his thoughts and emotions and being used like an object while Hoseok continued his life happily, getting a stupid cold and fucking women left and right. Just like he had before he met Hyungwon.

“Is that the reason why you are angry at me?" Hoseok said, wearing an expression of someone who just heard about his parents death. How could he look at him with his pale thin face, black bangs, big brown eyes widened in an expression between fear, surprise and something that looked like sadness? It was against Hyungwon’s principles to destroy people that couldn’t fight back and Hoseok looked defeated.

“I tried to call you, do you know that? But your number was not reachable. Why the fuck did you change it?" Hyungwon screamed either way, breathing through his nose and clenching his teeth, but Hoseok just stood there. He just stood there and looked at the ground like a child that had stolen something from the supermarket and was being reprimanded for his actions.

_If it was only that easy Shin Hoseok._

“The woman called, I changed it. Let’s go back, Changkyun will probably hit me again.”

Was that supposed to make Hyungwon feel better? ‘Changkyun will already hit me so please don’t’? Instead of elaborating Hoseok just turned around in the attempt to return to the bar area, but Hyungwon was not fucking done with him yet. He grabbed Hoseok’s shoulders with his long fingers, realizing how thin he was, fingernails digging in pure muscle and bones. Hyungwon turned him around.

“I’m not fucking done with you yet.”

Confusion and anger mixed with the desire to hug Hoseok and it infuriated Hyungwon even further because he wasn't able to hold his ground.

“What do you mean the woman called?” Hyungwon hissed a breath. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your lawyer. She wasn’t supposed to call you at all.”

He couldn't believe that the stupid bitch would try to reach Hoseok again. She was most likely after his dick again and Hoseok was smart enough to change his number last minute. Hyungwon should have put a restraining order on her back then or something.

Because of Hyungwon’s immense anger towards Ms. Spencer he was distracted from his actual object of hatred. Hoseok was breathing loudly, his hands clenched to fists looking down at a spot behind Hyungwon. “Look at me Hoseok.” He grabbed the other man’s jaw impulsively and lifted his head up.

“What are you doing?” Big brown eyes were staring at him. If he didn’t know better he would have thought that Hoseok was on the brink of tears, but most likely it was self-pity at having to be confronted.

Hyungwon didn’t have much time to think about it, as Hoseok’s hand grabbed his tightly and removed it from his jaw. “Let’s go back. Please.” Shit. Hoseok’s grip hurt, but loosened while he was speaking until he let his Hyungwon’s hand fall to the side. The lawyer didn’t want him to let go, although it was painful. He was so caught up in the sensation which Hoseok’s touch provoked that he didn’t realise the other man already went back, taking huge steps to further the distance.

_Fuck, you’re not getting rid of me that easily Shin Hoseok._

Hyungwon caught up when Hoseok already reached a confused looking Changkyun, who was staring at both of them in disbelief.

“Is this some kind of prank? Like ‘get a drink and we will fuck off’?”

Hoseok smiled and denied it, not looking at Hyungwon. He grabbed his cocktail instead and drank almost everything in one go. Apparently Hoseok was determined to get drunk. Again.

Something was definitely wrong, just like when they celebrated. Hoseok only got drunk when he didn't want to do something or was fucking scared. Or just for fun apparently, which resulted in him getting blackmailed.

However if this had been one of their usual encounters Hoseok should have smirked at him or laughed, or said something sassy while licking the straw of his cocktail, but he didn’t. He just put on a fake smile and pretended to listen to what Changkyun was saying, acting as if Hyungwon was not there at all.

_Selfish dick._

“Did you get plastic surgery while going underground? You look like death. Where’s my bulky biceps Hyung?” Changkyun sunk his teeth into Hoseok’s right arm. “Did a chick I don’t know anything about leave you? Or did someone die? What the fuck happened?”

Changkyun must have had a very strange idea of plastic surgery because Hyungwon couldn't think of a clinic that offered ‘death’ as an option. The idea of Hoseok being left by a chick was ironic, but Changkyun was dead serious, just going on and on.

Hyungwon’s eyes wandered to Hoseok’s face, looking for a reaction. The boy must have poked a sensitive spot, as Hoseok closed his eyes and obviously tried hard to collect himself.

“Oh my god, really? I have never seen you suffering like this because of some woman. What is she like? Tell me everything about it? Did you have sex? How was it?” Changkyun was an excited puppy and Hoseok just stared at him with a blank expression on his face.

Hyungwon couldn't help but get angry. When the fuck did Hoseok manage to meet a woman and how the fuck did Hyungwon not stop him from putting his dick inside her? The fact that Hoseok might have been using him to get over a heartbreak crossed his mind and he wanted that straw to get stuck in Hoseok’s throat.

“I’m going to get another cocktail.” The black haired figure moved past them while Hyungwon was trying hard to understand what was happening and who the fuck that woman might be if there is one.

“What are you talking about Changkyun?" Hyungwon asked, hoping to receive help to make sense of the mess in front of his eyes.

“Well he closed himself up in his studio for three weeks. Actually right after he called me to ask about food you like. I have no fucking idea why, or what happened but look at him. He must have starved for those three weeks.”

Hyungwon nodded while Changkyun continued. The other man did indeed lose a lot of weight, but he also took Hoseok for a workaholic and that happened sometimes, maybe not that extremely, but Hyungwon also skipped meals when work called.

“Well, and I thought he died somewhere. He changed his number, wasn’t at home. I’ve never seen him like this before. What the fuck?” He felt Changkyun’s gaze on his face suddenly. It was a little uncomfortable. The boy looked like he had an epiphany, eyes widening and and finger pointing at Hyungwon.

“Wait a minute. Didn’t you meet up three weeks ago? Did you upset him? What the fuck did you do?” Hyungwon’s eyes widened at the sudden accusation.

“What?”

Why the hell would Hoseok be depressed because of him? He had cut off the contact himself and avoided Hyungwon even now. It was ridiculous. Changkyun should have better looked for friends that didn't try to fuck everything that walked.

“Listen Won, you can’t be like this to Hoseok. He looks all broad and everything, but this Hyung is 50% muscle and 50% tears. What did you tell him? You better apologize! Look what he looks like because of you!”

Changkyun wasn’t joking considering his stare paired with the verbal diarrhea hitting Hyungwon’s ear drums. What the fuck? Hoseok had been the one who behaved like a fucking asshat. Why was he blaming Hyungwon for this bullshit? He was fucking used!

“The only thing I did was taking care of the case, successfully,” Hyungwon answered professionally. That was exactly what happened. The behind story was irrelevant here. Hyungwon had done his job and considering that this woman called Hoseok, the black-haired didn’t let him finish his job properly, not following the rules himself. Hoseok had been…

Hyungwon’s thoughts were interrupted by the man in his thoughts, who returned while holding another long island ice tea. “Be honest, did this sassy ass here make you upset?” Changkyun pointed at Hyungwon’s chest in accusation, fingers grazing the fabric of the bomber jacket. What the fuck was this situation? Hyungwon was the victim here! He tried to stare menacingly at Changkyun to make him stop talking nonsense.

“I’m going to get drunk,” Hoseok said quietly while catching the straw with his lips, completely oblivious to what was going on in front of him.

“Whatever you need my darling.” Changkyun pinched Hoseok’s arm, supporting his every decision and throwing Hyungwon a nasty look. Then he suddenly held his stomach and grinned at them. “I’m sorry, but I need to take a shit. See you in a bit.” He stood up and went in a familiar direction. Hyungwon needed new friends.

Ew, that had been absolutely unnecessary, but there he was sitting across Hoseok, their knees centimeters from each other, Hoseok playing with the straw between his lips, not looking up, gaze fixed on the glass.

“Why didn’t you tell me that she called you?” Hyungwon used the opportunity of Hoseok not trying to run away for once.

The other man released the straw and took a piece of lemon sticking on a tiny umbrella inside the cocktail. “I don’t know.” He put the fruit in his mouth and sucked on it. Hyungwon looked away, collecting his thoughts and being unsure what to ask next. He had expected some more content than just a half-assed answer.

“Then maybe you should think about it,” he replied with bite, hoping Hoseok would get the drift and at least use his pathetic excuse for a brain.

Hoseok just kept sucking on the lemon until he was done and dropped it in the ashtray, grabbing his straw again. “I have no idea what I did for the past three weeks.” He smiled one of those smiles that tasted like a punch in the guts.

Hyungwon hated it when he felt powerless and unable to say all those mean things he wanted to say. He took a glimpse at the lemon that Hoseok sucked all the juice from.

“Apparently you killed a lemon among other things,” he whispered, hoping that Hoseok would smile genuinely. He wasn't sure if he could bear a real smile but it was better than seeing Hoseok so bitter. He had no fucking right to be bitter.

The other man opened his mouth to say something, but prevented himself from doing so by biting down on his bottom lip until blood came out. He grabbed a tissue and dabbed at the red fluid, acting as if the whole situation was something absolutely normal. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he hiding something? Hyungwon didn't know how to act and if it was still appropriate to interrogate him. Hoseok didn't look stable at all, so he attempted to tone it down.

“Why didn't you talk to me when I wanted to talk about payment but hid away in your bedroom?” Hyungwon placed his elbow on the bar, leaning his head on top of his open palm. The conversation was more nerve wrecking than he anticipated. Mentioning their last encounter reminded him of everything that happened, including the tender way Hoseok treated him in the shower.

_Just to never call you again._

Hoseok grabbed his glass with both hands at the mention of their last meeting. He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip again. “I was scared.“ He continued with his eyes closed. “Why are you doing this to me? Is this fun to you?”

Another bitter smile spread on the other man's lips. Was he fucking kidding him? Did he think Hyungwon was sadistic and enjoyed giving others pain or what? Hoseok should have thought a little more before stabbing Hyungwon’s trust and pride with a fucking knife. Hitting the table with his fist he closed his eyes to control his emotional outburst.

“Do you really-” Hyungwon paused because his voice was unstable and sounded like he was close to tears. He wouldn't give Hoseok the satisfaction to hear that. “Do you really think this is fun for me?" he finally asked voice increasing in volume towards the end. “I just want to know why you treated me like shit, goddamnit!” His eyes burned but he just squeezed them shut forcefully once before looking at Hoseok.

The other man’s expression changed to genuine surprise, eyes big looking at Hyungwon for the first time in a while.

“What? When did I ever...? Fuck.” He dropped his gaze again preparing what to say next. “How have you been? You seem perfectly fine, just as I expected. You just had to change your attitude, I envy you really...”

Hoseok put the straw back in his mouth and sucked a significant amount of the strong liquid in his mouth.

Hyungwon really wanted to think that Hoseok pretended to be surprised. That he was the one who just acted in Hyungwon’s best interest but had no fucking clue what horrible thing he had done. However Hyungwon knew human facial expressions too well. Hoseok couldn't have faked the way his mouth widened comically and his eyes lost focus.

The black haired man had even returned to the brief discussion on perspective and suffering they had had, still believing that Hyungwon didn't give a shit about what happened to him, just thinking about the good stuff and happily living on. Hoseok couldn't even guess how far from the truth that was.

“Shit,” Hyungwon said matter of factly, taking a sip of his own drink, frowning at the burning tastelessness. Changkyun never managed to get his taste right.

“You don't need to answer, I see you look amazing, as always.” Hoseok smiled genuinely while eyeing him from across the table. “And I came here thinking I'd get some distraction. Fuck.” The smile became a bitter one in a matter of seconds.

Hyungwon laughed sarcastically at how little Hoseok had understood. “I answered your question. You asked me how I was, I told you. Shit.”

Now Hoseok looked worried, what the actual fuck? “Did something happen? Like you lost a case? Or money?” Hyungwon just kept his smile, moving the fingertip of his index finger over the edge of the glass.

“I told you. The possibility to contact you is the only thing I lost,”

_And you Hoseok, for fuck’s sake._

Hoseok didn't seem to understand anything at all. He just inhaled the rest of his cocktail and looked towards the restroom, probably hoping for Changkyun to come back and save him. Hyungwon really hoped the boy had a serious case of diarrhoea or something. If he couldn't talk to Hoseok now he wouldn't be able to do it ever.

“I need another one.”

 _No he didn't_.

Hoseok stood up touching Hyungwon’s arm with his body while passing by through the crowd. “I'll be back.” The touch brought so many images back to his mind that he grabbed the bar stool with one hand, pressing his palm to his eyes with the other. He was so tired of arguing.

Hoseok looked like a chronic patient and Hyungwon was the selfish bastard telling him that he wasn't cleaning the dishes right. He felt so wronged but didn't know how to express it properly without talking about Hoseok using him for sex.

“I can't believe I'm really back here,” Hoseok interrupted his thoughts and stamped his glass on the table. “That means I'm drunk. Finally.“ Hyungwon threw him a pained look. It was wonderful how little Hoseok wanted to see him, bad enough to need to be drunk to deal with him. He chuckled.

“I love how you need to be drunk to actually talk to me. You must really find me pathetic.“

Hoseok started laughing until tears rolled down. Somehow it was a little scary and goosebumps spread over Hyungwon’s arms. “The only one I find pathetic is myself. And yes, I need to be drunk to talk to you.” He caught his breath. “Interesting, I thought the burning feeling would go away but it's still there. I just hope it's some cancer.” He took a sip, smiling sarcastically to himself.

Hyungwon didn't know what to say. How could anybody who was in his right mind wish to have cancer? “What are you talking about?" he muttered, reaching out and taking the drink from Hoseok’s hand, just like he had many times before. “Casting me out wasn't really the best sign of affection though, was it?”

“You have no idea. Please have mercy and let me have my medicine at least.” Hoseok wanted to get his glass back but Hyungwon moved his hand away. The action was enough to have the other finally stare into Hyungwon’s eyes for the first time since they sat down at the bar. Like the person he talked to and kissed three weeks ago, not the shadow that was sitting across him the whole evening.

“Please,” Hoseok repeated almost whispering. Hyungwon shook his head slowly, placing his hand tentatively on top of Hoseok’s that was still reaching out. “You should know that it's not medicine, but a drug Hoseok. Medicine is something that's actually supposed to solve your problems, not make you forget them.”

There he was trying to help Shin Hoseok instead of screaming at him, the way he wished to the past three weeks. The black haired man never failed to captivate him no matter how much he hurt his pride and paid him for sexual services.

“Don't.” Hoseok closed his eyes as if in pain “You make it really hard for me right now.” Hyungwon kept his hand in place, grabbing the warm hand under his tightly. It was an unpleasant amount of public display of affection but he couldn't care less.

He noticed Changkyun gasping on the other side of the bar from the corner of his eye, but as the younger didn't interrupt them Hyungwon spoke his mind. “Because you wanted to have me out of your life without a trace I assume.”

Hoseok pulled his hand out, stood up and walked towards the door without a comment. Shocked by the action, Hyungwon pushed his bar stool away so suddenly that it dropped to the floor, attracting the gazes of other patrons, but he just pushed them to the side and ran after Hoseok.

“Why can't you fucking talk to me, Hoseok?" he screamed at him, knowing the other could hear. The black haired ran out, stopped at the pedestrian walk and was waving to get a cab when Hyungwon finally closed the distance. Stepping right in front of him and pushing his arm down, avoiding possible cabs, he repeated his question.

“Don't.” Hoseok’s face changed. As if he was trying hard to hold something in. Hyungwon couldn't help but feel something contracting in his chest, making it difficult to breathe and telling him that something really bad was about to happen, but he didn't know what to do about it. “Why…,” Hyungwon paused again, voice shaking and not feeling like himself. “Did you use me like that?”

Hoseok’s arm curled around his waist as he pulled him closer, breathing the words right at his lips. “You know...I wish I could tell you I did, because that would mean that you were mine at some point.” He kissed him, lips trembling, closing his eyes. It felt wet and salty when Hoseok broke the kiss, tumbled backwards and walked away not looking back once.

Hyungwon stayed behind, watching him walk away while feeling a single warm drop run down his cheeks. He felt like he was stuck in a bad movie, situation unbelievable cheesy and every viewer would be screaming at him to stop being so stupid and do what he's supposed to do.

Just that he was the character and understood absolutely nothing, crying pathetically on the street and not knowing how to stop Hoseok from constantly running away from him.

Tears running down his face Hyungwon still couldn't believe that he was crying in his car on the way home.

_Well, at least you're not crying in the club, Hyungwon._

He smiled sadly at himself, mouth corners barely moving up. And at least it wasn't the disgusting sobbing type of crying, blocking your nose and forcing you to produce animal noises. He just felt the water run down his cheeks and the ache all over his body and still wasn't even sure why exactly he was shedding tears.

_Not because you're angry at Hoseok, that's for sure._

He wasn't. Obviously Hoseok had no idea what he was doing and didn't really know what he wanted either. First he kept initiating contact, then he ran away but still responded, then he hid like a coward and now they have reached the point of initiating despite fear. What the hell was going on?

_Just tell me what you want Hoseok, goddammnit. I'm no mind reader._

Hyungwon moved the back of his hand over his cheeks, collecting the salty water and drying it on his ripped jeans. He was glad that Changkyun hadn't approached him while he was standing there like a statue, immobile and crying silently. He wasn't aware of how long he had stood there, but it was long enough to not feel his legs and arms anymore when he had finally dropped on the driver's seat of his car.

Driving smoothly into his underground spot, Hyungwon stopped the car, unbuckled his belt and stayed seated for a few moments. Fuck, had Changkyun seen how Hoseok kissed him? That gave Hyungwon even more reasons to not pick up as soon as his friend decided to call.

He had no idea why Hoseok did it except for alcohol and suppressed emotions or something and that didn't really make sense to Hyungwon either. Furthermore Changkyun would never be satisfied with a ‘it's complicated’ although it was the truth.

Another realisation hit Hyungwon and he covered his face with both hands and groaned. Hoseok had kissed him in public. In front of basically every fucking person that decided to walk past a bar and look at anything but their own shoes. Hyungwon wasn't ready for public display of affection. Even his ex girlfriends hadn't had the pleasure of kissing him in public. He didn't want random people knowing whom he kissed and especially if that someone was a man. Shit, he wasn't even ready to tell Changkyun and that guy was his best friend.

Hyungwon could have asked Minhyuk. After all the boy probably went through a similar discovery although he gave the impression that he'd already screamed ‘I want dick’ when he had left his mother's womb. Hyungwon shuddered again. The likelihood of Minhyuk just showering him with addresses of gay bars and interested men was too high and also too early. The lawyer wasn't ready for all this. He didn't want any random gay men at bars jumping him.

He wanted Hoseok.

The air that he had been peacefully breathing in froze and his eyes widened, seeing his own expression of shock reflected on the windshield. His face was hilarious, eyes puffy, mouth slightly open and trails of the tears still red on his cheeks.

_Why would you want Hoseok, Hyungwon? What the actual fuck?_

He wanted to facepalm hard and laugh at himself. That was _such_ a virgin thing to think. It was the typical ‘Omg I have never been with another man and this one makes me feel so good so I'm so in love with him’ rationalisation, which was bullshit. Hyungwon was definitely not going there. He closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to imagine an attractive man. He couldn't think of anyone in particular but the thought alone that he's attractive should be good enough.

Hyungwon didn't feel anything. He attempted to imagine a strong chest, leaning against it, moving his fingertips over sculptured pecs, moving lower to touch the other's dick. The other’s beautiful dick. Looking up he stared at a beautiful smile, eyes crescents and gaze so intense it took his breath away. _Hoseok._

_Shit. Fucking shit._

He _was_ going there. Hyungwon wanted to cry again. The wish to be with someone you had a repeated fling with was such a denouncing thing to do. Pathetic on a whole new level. Only the mistake of someone with no self control.

_Like you Hyungwon when it comes to Hoseok._

Inhaling harshly Hyungwon separated his back from the car seat and finally got out. He had to go on with his life and sleep and preferably do something productive considering that he was working on seven cases in parallel.

Walking up the stairs instead of the elevator his thoughts returned to the way Hoseok behaved. He had looked hurt and close to crying himself as soon as he saw Hyungwon. As if looking at him had been physically painful. Hoseok had even shed tears himself when he kissed him goodbye, an empty shell of himself.

If Hyungwon wouldn't know better he'd have thought the other had feelings for him. But who the fuck who's in his right mind pushes away someone they like in such a crude fashion? This wasn't a drama. Normal people don't tell their loved ones they hate them and only used them for sex to protect them from whatever. Angry mothers in law.

Hyungwon chuckled at the image of Hoseok’s mom beating him with a handbag. It was unlikely since mothers always loved him. He’d probably have her around his finger before she even heard his name. Shit, now he was thinking about meeting Hoseok’s mom like a cheesy fuck.

_God._

To be fair Hoseok hadn't told him explicitly that he used him for sex, but the thought wasn't too far off based on his rejecting behavior. Until he kissed him that is. There was a misunderstanding somewhere but Hyungwon didn't fucking know where.

He finally arrived at his door, opened it and went straight to the bedroom, taking of his clothes in a hurry and brushing his teeth furiously. Hoseok had said that he couldn't have used him because he didn't have him in the first place. That was an utter lie though! Hyungwon had been between his legs for fuck's sake, doing what he asked him to. If that wasn't having someone then what the fuck was? And did Hoseok mean that he wanted to have him?

Shit. Hyungwon felt angry again. It made sense but Hoseok’s depressed gaze didn't fit. What if Hoseok didn't think that he used him because they hadn't had sex. Hoseok hadn't taken him and everything else wasn't considered using?

Hyungwon threw himself on the bed, furious and confused. He wanted to believe that Hoseok was an asshole but how would that be possible with the shell that he was? Pushing his head into the pillow and unable to fall asleep Hyungwon didn't know where all of this was going, knowing that he reached a point where he couldn't let Hoseok go anymore.

He was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one is coming up today evening, which means in about 10h.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘If you wronged someone, you need to apologize, Hoseok-ah’

Seeing Hyungwon being unbelievably mad at him was unexpected. Hoseok thought he would have to deal with the lawyer’s beautiful face and body all over the place, him not giving a shit about Hoseok or his pathetic state. But it turned out to be the exact opposite. Hyungwon screamed at him, did things he normally didn’t do, grabbed his hands, his shoulders and the body contact made the pain in his chest worse with every single movement, adding up like a fire Hyungwon was dumping gasoline in.   
  
Good thing he was getting more and more drunk. The alcohol relaxed the fingers that were clenching into fists minutes ago, his breathing became more stable and he could look at the lawyer without feeling the presence of the lump in his throat. Hyungwon looked so good. His clothes were picked out carefully as always, casual but so agonizingly hot. His face had a nice color, eyes sparkling, lips plump and red, contrary to himself, who looked like a cancer patient.   
  
Just when Hoseok relaxed because Changkyun was there to keep the conversation from going into a direction he tried to avoid at all costs, this asshole fucked off to the restroom and didn’t return. Hyungwon probably smelled the chance to make him feel miserable, working towards it because of reasons Hoseok didn’t understand. The questions the lawyer threw at him were meant to fuck with his mind. Hoseok was tired of coming up with answers that Hyungwon obviously wasn’t satisfied with. It was too exhausting.   
  
Mumbling an excuse about getting another drink, he managed to get away from the beautiful man. The bar smelled like sweat and alcohol. Hyungwon’s beautiful face was a much better sight, although it caused him an insane amount of pain to look the other in the eyes. He thought about leaving, sure, a quadzillion of times, but the lawyer was probably observing him and he didn’t want to add more drama to this whole situation. This shit was already Oscar worthy.

Hoseok felt almost drunk enough to handle the merciless interrogation Hyungwon would've probably continued as soon as he came back, so he just grabbed his drink and went there. Like a drunk person with no sense for consequences would do.

 _Well done_.  
  
He smiled bitterly and just said what came to mind. Some kind of bullshit about being drunk and able to look at Hyungwon. So what, it was the truth after all. Everything was better than crying. Even when Hyungwon asked him about their last encounter Hoseok just told him the truth. He was scared, he didn’t say why, what a success.

_Good job Hoseok._

Everything was fine before Hyungwon took his drink away. Not that it was something special. The lawyer thought it was some kind of routine they had to go through almost every time they met, acting as if Hoseok didn’t know what he was doing, not understanding a bit about alcohol being the only fucking thing that could prevent him from doing something stupid.  
  
It escalated. Hyungwon just grabbed his hand with this sick facial expression he couldn’t read.   
  
The sadistic person across him just looked him in the eyes and curled his long fingers around his hand, not caring whether Hoseok was okay with it or not. He fucking wasn’t.  
  
Hoseok told him, he told him two times, making sure Hyungwon understood, but the other still did it. It hurt so much that Hoseok almost screamed at him. Things he shouldn’t have screamed. About the pain he felt when he thought about everything that was related to the low voice, the face, big eyes, those lips, the longing, every minute, every second, eating his insides like some kind of disease. Hoseok wanted to burn everything down that was hurting him from the inside, but Hyungwon just took his drink and touched him instead.   
  
_Fucking run. Now._

He stood up, walking past Changkyun who looked like a shocked puppy, ignoring the noise of a falling chair and the painfully familiar low voice screaming after him, sending shivers down his spine. He did what he could do the best, fucking run like a mental person. He was drunk, he didn’t have a car.

 _Cab, you need a cab, wave!_   
  
He thought he managed until Hyungwon’s tall figure stood in front of him like some wall that prevented him from living a nice life where he was free of worries and didn’t give a shit.   
  
He managed to press out a third warning. Hyungwon should’ve left, just let him stay pathetic and miserable and not make it any worse by asking painful questions and digging into his heart like a drill.   
  
“Why... did you use me like that?”

Hyungwon’s voice and those words just ripped a hole in the disastrous capsule full of pain he tried to hide and get rid off by himself.

Hoseok wanted to inhale him, to infuse him into the blood rushing through his veins to turn him into a spike running through the axons of his neurons, so Hyungwon would finally understand what was going on, what he felt.

But he couldn't.

He pulled the thin body closer, pressing it against his own. Being this close to Hyungwon made him lose his mind. He wanted to tell him so many things, that he was sorry, that he didn’t mean to hurt him in any way, that he liked him, that he wanted him, that he was ready to give everything just to be next to the sassy person lying in his arms.

He almost laughed at Hyungwon thinking he might have used him. It would have been nice.

 _He needs to be yours first, for you to be able to use him_.  
  
He leaned in and whispered it in his mouth.   
  
“You know...I wish I could tell you I did...because that would mean that you were mine at some point.”

Hoseok felt Hyungwon’s breath on his lips and his own tears building up, he couldn’t think about anything but Hyungwon being so close that he wanted to cry even more. He placed a soft kiss on those plump lips, wetness from his own tears burning down his cheeks, stepped back, and did what he intended to do from the start.  
  
_Run._   
  
After going on for about twenty minutes and strangely recognizing his neighbourhood the tears had already dried and self-hate returned like a wrecking ball. That was not how he imagined a distractive evening to turn out. Surely not hugging and kissing the root of your problems and whispering possessive shit into his mouth.

_Damn._

But it was too late anyway. Hoseok felt the familiar pain returning while the thoughts and images about Hyungwon standing there on the curb, looking so hurt and vulnerable, flooded his brain. He suppressed the immediate impulse to run back. What would he say anyway? That he didn’t mean to do anything? It was a fucking lie, he had meant every fucking breath, every touch and every kiss.  
  
_Here comes the regret. Here comes the ‘I wished I hadn’t done it’, ‘I wished I hadn’t said it’, ‘I wished that I could take it all back’. Thank you for the painfully fitting lyrics Epik High._

 _Fuck._   
  
Dropping himself on the huge bed, Hoseok closed his eyes and tried to think when his phone vibrated in the pocket of his jeans, hinting at a received message.   
  
‘I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything, but what the fuck is going on between you and Hyungwon? Did you just kiss him in public? Hoseok, he is the most straight person I know!’   
  
He threw the phone against the wall, battery and case flying into different directions and landing on the ground with a loud crash. Amazing, now he had to deal with an overprotective Changkyun asking stupid questions and reminding him of the obvious.

_You better burn those feelings down Hoseok._

_You can’t have him._

 

 ___   


_  
_ Hoseok spent the week after the disaster at the bar pointlessly trying to forget everything. He distracted himself with making music, working out like a crazy person and writing Changkyun messages, so the other would refrain from barging into his studio, to investigate how he was doing.

Another message arrived as he prepared to go home for the day.  
  
‘You better tell me what that thing with Hyungwon was about, I didn’t forget and your ‘I’m fine’ messages don’t make me worry less. Call me or I’m going there. Kkung.’   
  
Hoseok hated Changkyun’s stubbornness. He had to call. At least he could hang up if it went into a direction he disliked, getting rid of the other in real life was much more challenging.   
  
“What the fuck Hoseok. You better explain it.”

Great. That was an amazing start.  
  
“What? What do you want Changkyun? I’m okay, I have work to do and everything, so I don’t have time.” Hoseok tried to keep it as short as possible for the other to realize he had no intention whatsoever to talk about that topic.  
  
“Don’t fucking lie. Why did Hyungwon act as your fucking girlfriend last week? What kind of drama are you two lensing? I saw you hugging and kissing him outside, what the actual fuck? And Hyungwon this sassy bastard doesn’t pick up.”  
  
Hoseok let out a deep sigh. This was going to be a whole new level of uncomfortable.   
  
“I dissed him at the bar and he was mad and then I was drunk and wanted to insult him more so I kissed him because I thought he would hate it.”

_Smooth Hoseok, you're a psychopath._

Thinking about it, the excuse was amazing. He could totally imagine himself doing stuff like that. It fit perfectly, so the other had no possibility to object.  
  
Changkyun sighed on the other end and Hoseok thought he managed to convince him, elated about being so quick witted, despite overworking himself and not having enough resources to breathe.   
  
“He hated it so much that he stood frozen for like ten minutes, crying on the street like a baby right after! I hate you Hoseok.” He hung up.   
  
_Fuck._ _  
_ _  
_ Hyungwon cried because of him? But why? Because he kissed him? Because he thought Hoseok used him? His chest clenched so painfully that he had to sit down. Dealing with his self-hate was one thing, bathing in self-pity, starving and drinking like a mental person. But knowing he hurt Hyungwon, who didn’t do anything bad, was a feeling that made his lungs burst. The facial expression on the familiar face, hurt and desolate, staring at him returned before his inner eye and stayed.   
  
_‘If you wronged someone, you need to apologize, Hoseok-ah’_ _  
_ _  
_ His mother’s voice echoed over and over, paired with the stable image of Hyungwon. He would just take the easiest way and write Hyungwon. He had saved his number under shortcut two, god knows why.  
  
Fingers typed furiously, hoping the nausea would go away if he sent it.   
  
“Hyungwon I’m really sorry for…..”   
  
_You need to know what you have done wrong first, you idiot._   
  
Thinking about the things Hyungwon might be upset about, thousands of possible reasons followed in quick succession, raging one after the other until Hoseok just dropped his phone in the pocket of his pants and went to his car.   
  
The hot water ran over his head while his stare stuck on the black tiles of his shower wall. He couldn’t erase all the memories that kept sticking to those walls, pouring down on him and leaving a hot trace on his skin, suffocating him with their thick steam.

It was a bad idea to take Hyungwon to the shower back then.

Everything was a bad idea.

Whatever regrets he had, he needed to apologize because Hyungwon cried. He needed to swallow the lump of self pity that made his lungs clench and just apologize.   
  
Hoseok picked the first thing his hand reached for and got dressed. Black skinny jeans, black shirt, _whatever_.   
The bottle opened with a loud familiar plop, the smell went up his nostrils and made him forget why he was feeling like a pathetic piece of shit in the first place.

A couple of shots that tasted like a punch in the guts and his mind was clouded, the grip on the glass seemed damp and he felt weak.   
  
_Fresh air. Just run around a little and get your shit together Hoseok._ _  
_   
Nice idea , he thought, slugging down another double shot of the high percentage drink. He put on shoes and threw his leather jacket over his shoulders, taking his phone from the pants he wore previously and closing the door with a loud click.   
  
After running around the neighbourhood for what seemed like half an hour it got worse. Hoseok’s body didn’t want to listen to him anymore. He couldn’t help but regret the last double shot and not eating anything in the past three days.

Home was everything he could think about, just dropping himself on the king size bed and sleep. The wish to simply close his eyes until everything disappeared, including those useless thoughts about apologizing and having no fucking clue for what, spread in his head and his feet moved.  
  
The touchpad looked strange and didn’t accept his passcode, although he tried to enter it five times already. Maybe he was too drunk to remember, which was a whole new level of pathetic.   
Hoseok’s legs gave up and he slid down the mahogany door, bending his knees and burying his face between them.   
A dulled sound from the inside of the apartment made Hoseok sit up and take notice. Someone appeared to be walking towards the door.   
  
It clicked open and he stared up to see brown eyes looking at him in incomprehension. Hand gripping the doorframe and wearing a loose shirt, pants barely on the hips as if he had just thrown them on in a haste, Hyungwon was inside Hoseok’s apartment for some reason. 

“Shit this is some newly developed hallucinatory abilities.” Hoseok needed to stop drinking and seeing Hyungwon randomly walking out of his own apartment. Strangely his hallucination of Hyungwon frowned and wore an expression Hoseok hadn’t seen on him before. His mind was getting creative.

“What the fuck are you doing in front of my door, Hoseok?" it asked.  
  
“Your door? Look, this is my apartment and the only reason I’m sitting in front of it, is because I’m drunk as fuck and can’t remember my password.” Hoseok laughed at his hallucination and started randomly pinching his arm.

Hallucination-Hyungwon just frowned even more, eyebrows moving together and mouth turning into a straight line. Instead of answering he just grabbed Hoseok under the arms, hoisting him up on his feet. “Get in. I’ll get you a glass of water.”  
  
“Fuck, what is happening, why are you here?” Realization hit Hoseok as soon as he stood on his feet and stared at the obviously real Hyungwon, who just helped him into the apartment, placed him on a chair in the kitchen instead of the living room and walked over to the sink to fill a glass of water.   
  
_You are in his house Hoseok._   
  
“Fuck, I need to go.” Hoseok’s attempt to stand up didn’t go well and he dropped back on the chair. He couldn’t hide the widening of his eyes, shit he probably looked like a scared puppy. Hyungwon didn’t walk over to stop him as he usually would have, because Hoseok didn’t even manage to get up properly this time.

“If you don’t want to eat shit in my apartment, unstable as you are, I would recommend you to drink the water I am offering you.” Hyungwon placed the glass of water in front of him on the table, the sound deafening.  
  
Hoseok was panicking. He managed to pull the phone out of his pocket, knowing what he had to do. Call a cab as soon as possible and run. He unlocked the screen but the smartphone dropped out of his hands, Hyungwon picking it up while starring on the screen, eyebrow raised.   
  
“Hyungwon, I’m really sorry for…”

 

  
***

 

If someone had asked Hyungwon what he expected to happen on a Thursday afternoon, his answer would have moved along the lines of a relaxing afternoon in his oversized t-shirt, no pants, lots of ice cream and maybe a few documents he wanted to sort. Strange noises of someone attempting to type in his passcode were definitely not on that list. Hoseok drunk into oblivion sitting in front of his door even less.

Although the two had argued and Hyungwon had told him exactly what pissed him off (the lack of a phone number among other things), Hoseok had done absolutely nothing about it the past week. Not a number, not even a little message, a letter or whatever prehistoric thing he could have come up with.

Hyungwon was left alone with his desire to be close to Hoseok and no other man apparently and wanted to drown it in ice cream like he had the past three days. Changkyun had popped up at his door once, but he had just closed it again after seeing the younger’s face. Hyungwon was like the Berlin wall when he didn’t want to see anyone (before it’s downfall in 1989 of course).

Hoseok had looked so lost and self-depreciating that Hyungwon had to wonder himself if he had hallucinated him in front of his door. However the only one who wasn’t in his right mind was Hoseok, babbling incomprehensive stuff about being in front of his own apartment. It wasn’t like him. Whatever solution Hoseok had found in alcohol it wasn’t fucking working.

Picking the other man up off the floor by lifting him under his arms and almost dying from the weight, Hyungwon led the him inside the apartment and placed him on a chair in the kitchen, still feeling uncomfortable in his living room and avoiding it at all costs.

To have some more time to think he immediately busied himself with a glass of water. First he needed Hoseok to sober up and then they could talk about what the fuck he was doing in front of Hyungwon’s apartment, drunk on an afternoon. It wasn’t even 4PM yet.

“Fuck, I need to go,” Hoseok muttered behind him and Hyungwon immediately turned around, preparing to lock the fucking door if necessary, but the dark haired man was too drunk, just falling back on the chair. The sobering up might take longer than Hyungwon had anticipated.

“If you don’t want to eat shit in my apartment, unstable as you are, I would recommend you to drink the water I am offering you.” Hitting the glass of water on the table with force Hyungwon hoped that Hoseok had understood that there was no way he could get out of the situation. He wasn’t in public, but at Hyungwon’s apartment and there were no people seeing it if the lawyer decided to lock the door and not let him leave until they finally talked about this.

Still panicking pointlessly, _or maybe not_ , Hoseok grabbed his phone just to drop it to the ground helplessly, screen fortunately staying uncracked. Hyungwon picked it up carefully to put it somewhere far away and thereby keep Hoseok in place, only to see the beginning of a message. A message to his own number. “Hyungwon, I’m really sorry for…,” he read aloud, gaze switching over to the other man’s deadly pale face. “Sorry for what?”  
  
Hoseok stared at his phone in Hyungwon’s hands, fingers pressing into the leather of the chair trying hard to stand up. “I need a cab,” he pressed out, knuckles paling from the effort. He finally managed and took a couple of shaky steps towards the hall. Where the fuck did he think he was going? Hyungwon easily maneuvered him back into the chair.

“Drink the fucking water, Hoseok,” he said with much more force, pushing the glass right in front of Hoseok’s face. “If you can’t hold it I’ll pour it down your throat myself.”

Hoseok licked his dry lips looking incredibly scared. “I’m sorry for coming to your apartment. I didn’t realize,” he pressed out.

Hyungwon nodded in an overdone fashion. Of course that’s what he wanted to write the message about, considering he didn’t even know that he was at the wrong apartment a few minutes ago. “Yes of course Hoseok. Of course. Drink the _fucking water_.” Moving the glass to Hoseok’s lips and holding his free hand to the other man’s neck, Hyungwon tried to make Hoseok drink the water through his help. The other man would feel better afterwards, Hoseok just didn’t know it yet.   
  
The black-haired complied and emptied the glass. “Better?" Hyungwon whispered, watching how the water added moisture to Hoseok’s lips and feeling like a voyeur. This was unfair. He hadn’t been so affected back when Hoseok walked into the restaurant fifteen minutes late and tried to brag about his dick. Now the paleness had faded and the drunken blush was visible on Hoseok’s cheeks and Hyungwon wasn’t fucking okay.   
  
“I’m so sorry, I’ll go home, just forget this happened okay?” Hoseok managed to stand up again.

Not thinking about how crazy he looked Hyungwon quickly ran to the front door and closed it from the inside, entering his passcode. Walking back to the kitchen less hurriedly, he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Nope.”  
  
“Then don’t forget it, just let me go home.” Hoseok stumbled along the furniture to get to the exit. Hyungwon just turned to get a better look at Hoseok attempting to open the door he had closed for good.

“Nope,” he said, observing Hoseok’s struggle. The other man seemed extremely desperate, fumbling at the door handle in his drunken state, not getting the fact that Hyungwon fucking locked it. “Hoseok,” the lawyer said when he couldn’t look at Hoseok’s misery anymore. “I locked it. I don’t want you to leave.”  
  
Eyes full of despair stared at him while Hoseok loosened his grip on the handle and turned around. “Why?" He paused. “Is it fun to watch?” Hyungwon wanted to hit him for expecting assholish behaviour for fun.

“Do I look like someone who tortures people for fun to you?" he asked instead, quickly regretting it, because yes, that’s exactly what he looked like. Walking over to Hoseok and taking his hand he started pulling him into the apartment. “I just want to talk, but first you need to sober up,” he explained instead. Arriving at the bathroom Hyungwon pushed Hoseok inside, turned on the hot water in the bathtub and filled it.

“You’re going to take a fucking bath and when you feel like you can talk to me like a normal human being, without bullshitting me, lying to me or accidentally vomiting in my apartment, I want you to come out again. Understood?” He checked the water temperature in between, making sure it was pleasant. Then he added his favourite bubbles, something rosy and if Hoseok didn’t like it he had to deal with it. It wasn’t about the smell anyway.  
  
The other man’s eyes widened in an expression of pure terror. “Like, do you expect me to get naked and take a bath in your bathroom? I seriously need to go home.” Hyungwon just looked Hoseok up and down. Not believing that being fucking naked in front of him was his main problem. He wasn’t going to watch him for fuck’s sake and there wasn’t anything Hyungwon hadn’t seen, touched _or fucking tasted_ before.

“I’m not going to watch you Hoseok. Also, nothing I haven’t seen before.” Walking over to the door again he gave Hoseok another amused look and closed it behind himself.Hoseok better stay in there until he was ready to talk or Hyungwon was going to eat him alive.

He didn’t have time to think, as Hoseok stumbled out of the bathroom right behind him.  
  
“Listen, this is crazy. I can’t do that! More than getting naked and all this, I’ll fucking drown. You know how drunk I am?” Hyungwon paused. Shit, he didn’t think about that, but he couldn’t admit it just like that.

“Then take a fucking shower! There is a shower head.” He walked back inside, opened the plug and switched it to a shower, smell of roses lingering in his nose.  
  
“Hyungwon, what made you think I might be able to step in your bathtub and shower without breaking my neck after not being able to walk? Have you been drunk before?” Hoseok buried his face in his palms, body sliding down the bathroom wall.

Hyungwon coughed. “Once,” he muttered and just leaned against the bathroom door, wanting to sink to the ground aswell and stop feeling embarrassed. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

“Then I’ll help you,” he said eventually and took Hoseok’s hand.  
  
“This is sick.” Hoseok didn’t move an inch. “What the fuck is this whole situation? I’m so sorry for coming here, fuck.”

Hyungwon took a deep breath. “I'm desperate okay? You don't talk to me, don't give me your number and run away or ignore me when I try. This is my only chance to finally talk to you and I'm not letting it go to waste, only because you are drunk.” His eyes burned but he ignored it.   
  
Hoseok propped himself up until his body was in a horizontal position again. He silently pulled the shirt over his head, dropping it on the ground next to his feet, fingers fumbling with the button of the pants. He finally managed and slid them down his thighs. He kept on staring on a spot right next to his feet, grabbing the seam of his underwear and swallowing hard.

Hyungwon just gasped, unable to look away or do something reasonable like help Hoseok out cause he was struggling. The only thought he could formulate was that although he didn't want to admit it this was exactly what he had been thinking about the past four weeks, touching himself and saying it's not just Hoseok. But it was just Hoseok. He was drunk and could barely undress and still Hyungwon’s heart beat up to his neck and he could feel his palms sweating.

_Shit._

 

***

 

Running away was so hard. Especially if your body didn’t listen and fell into pieces at the attempt to stand up, or open or door. Alcohol was obviously not his friend today, as it brought him to Hyungwon’s apartment, let him go in, unable to run away. The lawyer must have felt some weird satisfaction from seeing him suffer, Hoseok was sure.

_Well he could. Hoseok you upset him so much that he cried._

_Shit._   
  
Something was genuinely weird. Why was Hyungwon trying to make him take a bath? Or shower? Did he smell? That couldn’t be it, since he showered two hours ago and sprinkled perfume all over himself because he thought about something and forgot to stop pressing the spray button. His clouded mind couldn't make any sense of the situation.  
  
The thought of getting naked in Hyungwon’s bathroom made him so scared that he just walked out, throwing the excuse of being drunk all over the place until there were no excuses left.   
  
“I’ll help you.” Hyungwon just stood there. He wasn’t drunk but behaved like he was the one close to alcohol poisoning.   
  
_Fuck this. Just get fucking naked, take a bath and run home._ _  
_   
He tried so hard thinking about something else while stripping naked in front of Hyungwon but his drunk brain couldn’t come up with anything worthy. Kicking away the pants, his underwear was the only piece of clothing left. Thank god he worked out for the past week.   
  
You are thinking about working out? You are drunk and about to get naked in front of your ex-lawyer, fuck.   
  
He swallowed everything that reminded him of dignity and removed the last piece, letting out a deep sigh.   
  
“Help me then.” He eyed Hyungwon, standing in the doorframe completely dressed looking at him as if he had cancer. The other man swallowed, like when you had a sore throat and tried to get that knot out. Then he slowly walked over to Hoseok, obviously trying not to look down.

“Shower or bath?" he asked slowly.   
  
“I’m worried about my health, so bath.” Hoseok envied the other man for being so casual next to him. He didn’t know what he would have done if Hyungwon was the naked one.

The lawyer moved over to the bathtub, plugged it again and switched the shower back to tap, adding something that made the water colour change, aquamarine blue spirals filling out the tub. Holding out a hand he looked expectantly at Hoseok.  
  
This whole situation was ridiculous. Hoseok prevented himself from laughing out loud and grabbed Hyungwon’s hand. “Be careful I might pull you in with me.” He laughed. “Because I’m drunk,” he added just to see what the lawyer’s expression would look like.

Hyungwon’s eyes widened but he looked a little annoyed as soon as Hoseok pushed it on his alcohol blood levels. Helping Hoseok into the bathtub he checked the water temperature with his right hand and sat down on the edge, watching him calmly.

Hoseok dove his head into the water and brushed his black and wet bangs back. When he opened his eyes he realized the other man sitting dangerously close to him. Shit he was fucking naked and his materialized libido just sat there in sweatpants as if it was some kind of casual situation. Hoseok hadn’t thought about that while getting undressed. Of course not, he was drunk.

And stupid.  
  
“If I was you, I would put enough distance between us.” Hoseok wanted to be wise for once, and hinting at what this whole situation might provoke.

The lawyer just looked at his face before he smiled. “I don’t want to,” he announced and Hoseok could see his eyes move down his body despite the foam until they moved back up to his face.   
  
_What the fuck was that?_

“Are you drunk Hyungwon?” This was the only rational reason for the lawyer to act as stupid as Hoseok.

Hyungwon laughed out loud, sliding slightly on the edge, sweatpants already wet from a few drops that left the tub, fabric loose around his legs, but tighter on the crotch area for some reason. “I told you I have only been drunk once and you were there for it.”   
  
Hoseok decided to concentrate on the ceiling, as Hyungwon was obviously brain fucked sitting there thinking this whole situation was something to be amused about. The lawyer probably thought that he was joking, which he wasn’t. Thank god he was drunk and couldn’t just jump out of the bathtub and pin Hyungwon against a fucking wall.

 _Thank you alcohol, you’re a real friend._   
  
“So tell me what you wanted to talk about, before you forced me to undress and get into the bathtub. I hope you realize how sick that sounds, because that’s what it is.” The ceiling was black, Hoseok had hoped there would be at least some pattern to count.

He could feel Hyungwon’s stare on his face as the lawyer sighed. “Well, you were the one who was carrying me around and placing me on random objects like minibars, couches...did I miss anything?”

_Well at least you didn't place him on your dick Hoseok._

He wanted to disappear. The whole comedy of the situation was hard to handle and Hyungwon was obviously determined to make him more embarrassed than he already was.  
  
“I see through your attempt to make me hard in your bathtub, Hyungwon. You can make fun of me as much as you want. I’ll just have tons of regrets and blame it on the alcohol tomorrow. I’m experienced at stuff like that.” He stroked the foam down his arm, while looking at his muscles flexing, trying to distract himself.

Hyungwon sucked in a breath next to him, loudly. “Wh-what?" he stuttered. “I-I mean. I wasn’t making fun of you. I was just pointing out that this wasn't the weirdest situation we've been in.” The voice got a little quieter, probably cause the other man looked away.  
  
This was too much and Hoseok started laughing. How could anything beat him being so drunk he didn’t recognize his lawyer’s apartment, the lawyer closing him in, forcing him to take a bath and finally sitting there looking like a meal not getting what the fuck was going on?

“Oh my god this is ridiculous,” he heard Hyungwon chuckling next to him.  
  
“Okay are you satisfied? Can I put something in front of my dick now? I have serious issues with all this.” He just hoped for Hyungwon to give him a fucking towel so he wouldn’t keep thinking about his dick paired with the lawyer sitting right next to it.

“No,” Hyungwon said but appeared to be equally surprised by the words leaving his mouth. “I mean -” he interrupted himself obviously not knowing what he meant. Looking to the side he huffed in anger. “I don't know just- are you sober yet?”  
  
“Listen darling, you don’t need a biology degree to know how long alcohol depletion takes. You can express your gratitude to my liver being so slow later, as being so drunk prevents me from moving properly, shit.” He tried to sit up in the tub and realized the nausea that was flooding his brain, everything doubling before his eyes. Hyungwon’s hands were immediately on his back, stabilizing him. “Are you okay?”   
  
“I was until you did that.” Shit all the touching was not part of the plan. “Just help me get out of here.” There was no way Hoseok could stand up after being drunk in hot water for 10 minutes. Why did he think a bath would be a good idea? Ah right, Hyungwon thought it was.

“Why do you hate me touching you so much?" Hyungwon asked, fingers still sinfully tight on his wet shoulders. He didn't make any attempts to help Hoseok out of the bathtub though.   
  
“Hyungwon are you brain-dead?” How could the other act as if he didn’t know, frowning at him instead?

“Speak for yourself. Who in his right mind would deny something he liked?" Hyungwon asked, thumb massaging circles into his shoulder. Hoseok realized in what kind of situation he eased himself into. He couldn’t run away, he was too drunk to stand up by himself and Hyungwon kept touching him.

Shit.   
  
“Why are you doing this to me?” Hoseok managed to press out while trying his best not to react to the long fingers stroking his back. “Do you hate me? Then slap me or something, why are you like this?”

Hyungwon laughed and it sounded manic. “I wish,” he answered, hand still moving over Hoseok’s skin without a goal. “I'm not the one avoiding you Hoseok. Why would I hate you?”  
  
It was too much. His hand caught the lawyer’s and kept it in place. Hoseok was getting mad at Hyungwon for obviously taking advantage of his miserable state, making him even more miserable.

“I asked, why you are doing this to me?” He stared right into the lawyer’s eyes, mouth slightly open at the sudden movement.

“I like touching you,“ Hyungwon didn't hesitate to reply.   
  
Whatever drugs Hyungwon was on, Hoseok was not okay with all this. Being drunk, naked, confused and absolutely unable to do anything. “You don’t make any sense to me Hyungwon, I thought I was the drunk one. Whatever it is, I really don’t think my body can handle another three weeks of being on the edge.” Hyungwon looked hurt and anger mixed into his facial expression.

“Seriously Hoseok, of course you don't understand, _because_ you are drunk. I feel like you never give a flying fuck about my opinion. If you think I shouldn't be doing something then it's fucking weird of me to do it apparently. Why did you torture your body for three weeks Hoseok? Fucking why?” The lawyer sounded hysteric, voice higher than usual and emotional.   
  
He was not going to discuss his personality traits and problem solving strategies while being naked in somebody's bathtub. He grabbed the edge and pushed himself up while stabilizing against the wall, concentrating on his movements, flexing every muscle in his body to get out of this tub and this fucked up situation.   
  
Hyungwon gasped in surprise, staying immobile and watching Hoseok get up naked in the tub and scrambling out, until he snapped out of it and grabbed a towel from the cupboard on the side. Holding out a hand for Hoseok to lean on and distribute his body weight, Hyungwon shifted and held out the towel in the other. Grabbing it as fast as his damped reflexes allowed, Hoseok put it around his hips and everything became blurry all of the sudden.

_Your fucked up circulation you idiot. No._

He felt his body falling against Hyungwon. Moving his calves to get the blood flow going he felt overwhelmed and helpless hanging over the thin lawyer like a rag. “Shit, Hoseok, what’s wrong?" Hyungwon’s voice echoed somewhere. The outlines of the slim shoulder became visible again. He tumbled backwards until the wall stopped him.

“Why is it like this? Fuck.”

Hyungwon walked towards him, still blurry and undefined. “Let me help you. You should lie down. It's not far,” he said slowly as he took Hoseok’s arm and hung it over his shoulder. Being moved somewhere, doors and walls melting into one homogenic mass Hoseok finally felt something soft under his body. A bed.

“That's not how I imagined getting you into my bed,“ Hyungwon mumbled, placing a blanket over Hoseok’s mostly naked body and disappearing somewhere.  
  
The images in front of his eyes became clear again after some time passed. Why would Hyungwon want him in his bed? He had the feeling that they were talking in different languages, as he had no idea what Hyungwon was saying. The words made sense, him pronouncing them didn’t.

The lawyer returned eventually, phone between his shoulder and ear, running around frantically. “What do you mean lift his legs up? That's fucking weird Minhyuk. Can't you be useful for once?" he argued into the phone, gesturing with his hands.  
  
“What are you doing?” The last thing Hoseok needed, were more people around him. “I’m fine, I’ll get dressed and be on my way.” He tried to stand up.

Hyungwon screamed something along the lines of ‘Later’, into the phone, hung up and ran over to him. “Stay!” he ordered, pushing Hoseok back into the mattress and placing the blanket on top. “You almost collapsed for fuck’s sake. Wait till you feel better. And I told you that we still need to talk.”

His mind came back, thankfully. Hyungwon was acting like his mom, which was plain weird.

“Listen up, I’m sorry I was in front of your door. I’m sorry I agreed to undress and get into your bathtub and I’m sorry to lie naked in your bed. You don’t need to feel responsible, just get me a cab and we’ll act as if it never happened. Or you can laugh at me, choose whatever is more comfortable for you.” He sat up staring at Hyungwon.

The lawyer paused, slowly he sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at Hoseok’s face, searching for something.

“You want to act as if it never happened?" he whispered and the hurt on his face was obvious. “What the fuck do you think I am? Your one night stand? I'm fucking tired of your double standard messages Hoseok. Just fucking tell me what you want for once without lying to my face or running away from me. “ Hyungwon looked down at his hands, clutching his knees tightly, fingers shaking.  
  
That was sudden. Hoseok opened his mouth to say something about sex being the essence of one night stands or something more witty but Hyungwon’s expression made him stop. He looked sad, why would he be sad?   
  
_You did make him cry, you asshole._   
  
“I am sorry I was selfish. You can touch me as much as you want and tell me everything you want, I will just need another three weeks to try to get over it.” He paused.

The lawyer looked up, mustering his face as if Hoseok had revealed a secret and staring at him would cause more to follow.

“I'm not sure you understand Hoseok,“ Hyungwon said while climbing up and throwing one of his long legs over Hoseok’s body, still covered by a blanket. Fully seated on top of him Hyungwon grabbed his face with both hands and took a deep breath, not saying or doing anything, just staring. A blush was covering his cheeks and he seemed to have a hard time. However it surely couldn’t compare to the hard time Hoseok was having.  
  
“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who finally got around to talk, as weird as the circumstances might be.


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were not supposed to be even more in love after this, shit.

Hyungwon didn't know how Hoseok expected him to deal with his naked body all over his apartment, but hanging on top of the lawyer like a rag wasn't one of them. Even when the other man was resting in his bed, covered by a blanket, Hyungwon had difficulties controlling himself. He wasn't used to battling his libido like this and jumping Hoseok wasn't an option, especially since the other kept trying to run away, being the coward that he was and barely conscious.

When Hoseok mentioned all those things he wanted to apologize for, all those things except for the ones he should really be apologetic about, Hyungwon couldn't control himself anymore.

Fighting the tears that threatened to return after only a week, he said everything he wanted Hoseok to know. How he felt like a fucking one night stand forced to listen to the other man’s lies or attempts to avoid him, being told that he's supposed to forget everything that happened. Hyungwon wanted to cry like a baby in front of him, so that Hoseok could finally see what the fuck he kept doing to him. He wanted to hit the firm chest with his fists, although he knew that he was probably no match for the other man.

The expression on Hoseok’s face changed everything, sarcasm disappearing to make room for surprise and guilt.

“I am sorry I was selfish. You can touch me as much as you want and tell me everything you want, I will just need another three weeks to try to get over it,” Hoseok answered, face still painted with guilt before adding “Unsuccessfully.”

Unsuccessfully? Trying to get over what? Hyungwon touching him? Now _that_ sounded familiar. Why the hell would Hoseok need to get over Hyungwon touching him though? He was much more experienced than him and probably had enough women (and men) in front of his door willing to touch him.

Unless...

Hyungwon took a curious look at Hoseok lying on his bed, covered in a blanket, blush from the hot bath still visible on his cheeks. He was beautiful and the way he looked at Hyungwon appeared familiar to him. Very similar to the way Hoseok had glanced at him when had warned him to run as fast as he could. The request was strange as Hoseok should be ignorant and go for the people he wanted. Or even better for available people that knew what they were doing.

Unless…

_Unless he's just as hooked on you as you are on him._

Hyungwon didn't wait long before informing Hoseok that he didn't understand anything and climbing on top of the other man. He straddling his lap and grasped his face with both hands. Blood rushed to his head and Hoseok must have been able to see the colour covering his cheeks. Hyungwon hated blushing.

“Fuck,” Hoseok whispered “I’m not sure I understand it either.” His breathing sounded strained, his eyes watching Hyungwon in a mixture of surprise and excitement. Unable to stop himself Hyungwon pressed a kiss to his forehead. Like a cheesy fuck.

_Shit, what the fuck are you doing?_

Hyungwon stayed in place, face temperature constantly increasing and regretting his life choices.

“I want to count to three to give you time to run, but how am I supposed to do that if you’re hovering over me blushing, looking so beautiful like that? Shit.” Hoseok’s hand moved to his neck, fingers raking through his hair. Hyungwon held his breath. This was exactly what he had been craving for over the past month and he was almost there. He wanted to cry again and it was so fucking pathetic, but he didn't care. He chuckled instead, disbelieving that Hoseok could find him attractive in his current state.

“I'm wearing sweatpants and a fucking oversized shirt Hoseok. I look like a hobo.” Hoseok always gave compliments in the weirdest situations. He also didn’t care about Hyungwon’s self conscious bullshit apparently.

“Can you shut up for once? I’m at the brink of tears because you look so stunning and you’re bullshitting me about being a hobo.” His hand stroked the blushed cheek. Hoseok really looked impressed by the sight, strangely involved and overwhelmed.

Hyungwon didn't want to build up his hopes but the possibility that Hoseok was sexually attracted to him was still out there. Not waiting any longer he leaned in and kissed him on the mouth, tension that accompanied him for over a month finally fading from chest. Shit he had wanted this so bad. Hoseok’s lips were soft and he smelled like Hyungwon’s rose bath and expensive cognac.  
Strong arms finally curled around his waist and back, pressing him as close as possible. The blanket slid down and the thin fabric of his shirt was the only thing that was left separating their body heat.

He hated that shirt. A lot. So he just broke the kiss and pulled it over his head, reattaching himself to Hoseok’s lower lip and tongue. The other man moaned into his mouth as their skin melted into one, extensive contact making it hard to tell where Hyungwon began and Hoseok ended. His hands were all over Hyungwon’s back, stroking up and down, pushing him even closer than physically possible. It felt so intimate, Hoseok’s tongue moving slowly over his lips, into his mouth, teeth softly capturing his lower lip, accompanied by the gentle movements of his arms, hands trying to bring him even closer. Hoseok’s body was literally burning, hot skin against his. It really felt like they were melting into each other.

“Shit, don't stop Hoseok or I'll lose my fucking mind,” Hyungwon moaned in between kisses and let go of Hoseok’s face to encircle his shoulders with his arms, muscles firm and warm under his fingertips.

“I can’t stop,” Hoseok exhaled while placing kisses all over his neck and chest. Hyungwon’s sweatpants stopped loosely hugging his hips and bordered on uncomfortable with the way he was sitting spread legged on Hoseok, straining the fabric. He regretted that he hadn’t jumped the other earlier and thereby avoided the blanket and towel separating the god-like body from his hands.

Moving his fingers down Hoseok’s shoulders he pressed into his biceps and stroked his elbow, finally dropping to his waist and moving back up to pull his head closer, smelling his hair. Then he licked up a stripe of his ear, remembering Hoseok had done that a lot before and hoping it was something he enjoyed. Hoseok moaned in confirmation, whispering something that sounded like “I will do everything you want, fuck.”

 _Shit._ Hoseok couldn't just throw that out there and expect Hyungwon to know what to answer. He didn't fucking know shit and just wanted Hoseok to continue touching him. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

“Forget that Hoseok. Just tell me what you want,“ he gasped, wondering how to increase the friction around his crotch. The other dropped himself back on the bed taking Hyungwon along in his embrace, removing the blanket and the towel, rolling on top of him, pressing his body as close as possible.

“I want you, just you.” Hoseok exhaled into his ear, moving his hand over his naked shoulders, crotch pressing into Hyungwon’s like personified bliss.

Gasping Hyungwon tried to focus on Hoseok, pleasure running through his system and clouding his senses. Shit, Hyungwon wanted him too. So fucking bad. Hoseok was gorgeous, towering over him completely undressed, low voice close to his ear. Fear at Hoseok suddenly deciding Hyungwon wasn't in control and didn't know what he's doing made him clutch onto the other man even more.

“When will you finally understand that I want you too,” he breathed into Hoseok’s neck, pushing his hips into the other's.

“I want to feel you, those pants...” Hoseok asked and tugged at the seam looking at Hyungwon helplessly, as if not wanting to just randomly undress him.

So he still didn't get it. How explicit did Hyungwon have to be? “Just take them off Hoseok. Do what you want,“ he whispered reassuringly, lifting his hips to help Hoseok ease the annoying fabric down his legs.

There he was completely naked under another man. A few weeks ago he would have laughed at the thought. Hoseok looked up and down eyeing his body as if it was something he couldn’t believe was real. Propping himself up on his underarms, biceps flexing at the effort, Hoseok placed himself between Hyungwon’s legs and sucked his lower lip into his mouth. Hyungwon held his breath.

The two of them had only been naked like this in Hoseok’s shower, hugging under the water stream. The body contact was overwhelming and lying on the bed felt so much more intimate. Especially to Hyungwon who wasn't really familiar with sex outside of the bedroom before Hoseok came along.

“You're so fucking hot,” he murmured, eyes not leaving Hoseok’s lips. Straightness be damned. If he had to be gay to own Hoseok like this then so be it.

“Please tell me what you want,” Hoseok whispered in the crook of his neck.

Hyungwon smiled, remembering the last time he had asked Hoseok that question himself. “You,“ he answered, copying his answer and kissing the other's shoulder. Hoseok moaned and grinded his hips into Hyungwon’s, their erections brushing against each other. Everything felt intoxicating and sent pleasure through Hyungwon’s brain, moaning into Hoseok’s mouth at the sensation.

“Shit do that again,” he begged throwing his head to the side and holding onto the other desperately, hand sneaking between them to slide over Hoseok’s abs. The god-like figure over him complied, thrusting against his hips, breathing heavily while whispering ‘I want to make you feel good’ into his ear.

Panting Hyungwon nodded before clarifying. “You are.” No matter what Hoseok did it drove him mad. Just sitting in front of the handsome man handicapped his mental capabilities until he finally touched him. It was like a potent drug that forced you to yearn for more and more even if the high was similar with each caress. Shit how was Hoseok even real? Hyungwon wanted everything. He wanted Hoseok to lose control again and do what he wanted with him. Not knowing how to reach that he just asked for the next best thing.

“Give me more, Hoseok.”

 

***

 

Hyungwon wanted him. That was something he could make sense of. It was much easier to understand than his hurt expression, or those strange questions that Hoseok didn’t know the answer to.  
  
Hyungwon sitting on his lap, blushing, stripped to the waist, darker skin in contrast to his own pale body, sucking on his tongue, telling him not to stop. How could he stop now? It was too late either way. He was drunk and he didn’t want to stop. Hoseok wanted to have him.

The immense tension in the pit of his stomach drove him crazy. Every movement of Hyungwon’s lips sent spikes all over his body, bare chest pressing against him, melting into him, hot breath against his neck, his ears. He wanted to get lost in those sensations and never come back.

Switching positions Hyungwon ended up lying under him, biting and sucking his lip, still begging for Hoseok’s hands not to leave him, holding onto his shoulders. How was he supposed to say no, when he looked so beautiful, naked and sweaty, erection poking Hoseok’s thigh? He grinded his hips into Hyungwon’s to break the tension. The elegant arms curled around his neck, a needy whisper left the other man’s mouth and Hoseok almost lost his mind. Almost. He wanted to make Hyungwon feel good. He wanted to make him moan his name, sweaty and fucked out, asking for more.  
  
“Give me more, Hoseok.”

Hyungwon was already asking although Hoseok didn’t even do anything. Yet. The control functions turned to auto pilot and the need to see Hyungwon falling apart at his touch replaced everything else. He moved down caressing the body under him, sucking on every spot his mouth could find, rolling a nipple between his teeth, smiling at the loud moans that were leaving Hyungwon’s mouth.

Hoseok looked up to see the lawyer's reaction while spreading his legs and moving his head down between them. “I really hope you missed my mouth, because I really missed your beautiful dick.” He opened his mouth and licked a stripe while looking at Hyungwon from under his bangs, the other man’s dick moving with the tip of his tongue.

“Shit, Hoseok. I dreamed about this,” Hyungwon groaned, throwing his head back and pressing his legs together at the sensation, stopped by Hoseok’s body.

“You better keep your long legs spread for me if I tell you so,” Hoseok moaned while sucking on the shaft. Hyungwon sank back into the same submissive behavior he had back when he sat on the bar, obeying the dominant voice. He nodded slowly and spread his legs apart, eyes closed.

“Good boy, and now show me that you like it.” The other took him in his mouth and started sucking and licking, moaning over Hyungwon’s dick, stroking the lean muscles on his thighs, hands touching everywhere he could reach.

“Fuck,” Hyungwon gasped. “Moan on my dick again Hoseok.“

“You like it huh?” Hoseok licked under the tip while flattening his tongue. “You should ask nicely if you like it that much.” His hand cupped Hyungwon’s balls.

The lawyer’s eyes widened in realization. “Are you-” He moaned. “Teasing me so I beg?” His body rose, resting on his elbows, chest flushed and lips swollen, tongue licking over them subconsciously.

“Fuck you're so beautiful, all fucked out and needy.” Hoseok sunk down on Hyungwon’s dick again, eyes still glued to the other man's face before letting it go again. “I really want you to beg, but I also don't want it because I'll fucking burst.” He moaned, taking Hyungwon’s dick in his mouth. Feeling a sudden familiar twitch he released him with a plop.

“You can't come yet, I'm not done with you.” Hoseok was a little scared of himself for the low dominant voice that came out, but he lost his shit anyway, so why not get the best out of it.

“Why don't you be good and curl those long fingers of yours around my dick?” Hoseok caressed Hyungwon’s earlobe with his teeth after hovering over him again. The lawyer was breathing harshly, obviously dealing with the fact that Hoseok had let him go right before he came.

Slightly unstable he sat up even further and nodded, lifting his hand in front of Hoseok’s face and spreading his fingers like fan. “How do you want them?" he asked breathlessly. He was so cute seriously.

“I don't think this is the right situation for a discussion Hyungwon.“ Hoseok smirked, “Didn't you think about touching me?”

Hyungwon swallowed, embarrassed by his question and nodded again. Long fingers finally moving towards Hoseok’s painful erection, he grabbed it firmly and stroked carefully, purposefully slowing down the movements, thumb digging into the tip and index finger pressing to the edge of the head and the shaft. Hyungwon’s hand made him curse under his breath, hips fucking into the curled up fingers.

“And now, you will put this pretty hand of yours in front of your mouth,” Hoseok whispered, leaning back, looking at Hyungwon’s reaction. “And spit in it.” He tilted his head to the right catching the lawyer's gaze. Hyungwon paused staring at Hoseok intently, as if considering the request.

After what felt like an eternity he removed his hand, moving it closer to his mouth and pausing again, observing Hoseok’s reaction. He licked his index finger, sinking it slowly into his mouth and covering it with saliva, the middle finger and ring finger following. His eyes didn't leave Hoseok’s face throughout the whole endeavour. When his pinky finger left his mouth, soaked, he lifted his hand in front of Hoseok’s face again. “Is this also fine?”

Hoseok wanted to fuck him so badly he had to bite on his bottom lip to reprimand himself.

Meanwhile Hyungwon was fucking with his sanity on a whole new level.

“Damn you are trying hard to provoke me, aren’t you?” Hoseok smiled one of his nasty smiles, just reserved for situations like these.

Hyungwon smiled back, voice barely a whisper. “I like it when you tell me what to do.” His coated hand closed around Hoseok’s neglected erection and smoothly slid along the base, feeling so much better.

“And I love it when you listen well.” Hoseok pressed out between loud moans that were leaving his mouth.

Hyungwon was perfect for him. He felt the need to inhale him again, to eat him up, leave marks all over his body, make him his.

Hoseok reached between Hyungwon’s legs tentatively. He wanted to hear him moan again. He was addicted to it, to him. A couple of strokes and his ears were graced by the low grunts coming out of the lawyer's mouth.

“I have no idea how to satisfy my thirst for you,” Hoseok whispered, slowly moving his hips and enjoying every sensation coming from Hyungwon’s god-like hands. However Hoseok’s own movements distracted Hyungwon from his task, strokes becoming slower and more sluggish, too busy melting at Hoseok’s ministrations.

“I want to see those pretty lips of yours around my dick again.” He couldn't refrain from saying it, he day-dreamed about it so often.

Again Hyungwon nodded, uncurling his hand and making some room, crawling over the dark purple sheets. He patted the bed next to his hips. “Then lie down so you can look at me while I do it.”

Hyungwon needed to stop. He had to stop being this fucking tease. It was so impossibly difficult to stay sane.

“You can bet that I won't be able to look anywhere else.”

 

***

 

Hyungwon was struggling to breathe, basking in the attention of Hoseok’s mouth and hands, both driving him mad and making it futile to do anything but moan helplessly. He couldn't help nodding at everything Hoseok asked him to do, the dominance in his voice being the most erotic thing in the world, sending impulses straight to his groin.

Hoseok had lost his control, which meant that the other man reigned above him and said whatever he wanted. Hyungwon’s favourite Hoseok. He couldn't handle him when he was like that without melting and giving him all of himself. Shit Hyungwon didn't even know if he was able to say no to him at all.

_Of course you aren’t. Don’t lie to yourself Hyungwon._

If Hoseok requested something Hyungwon wanted to do it even better than instructed, enjoying the amazement and excitement on the beautiful face, eyes eating him up. Licking his fingers and sucking them into his mouth he couldn't have looked away from Hoseok’s brown orbs even if he had wanted to. The man was watching him like a predator, eyes fixed and glazed, ready to pounce as soon as Hyungwon moved the last digit out of his mouth. It was making him drunk, drunk on attention.

Touching Hoseok’s dick with the slick hand was amazing, the movement easy and Hoseok’s reaction the best reward of them all. Only Hyungwon’s multi tasking skills needed improvement, mind foggy and unable to focus on the movement of his hand as soon as Hoseok began to evoke moans out of him with his own ministrations.

Whatever Hoseok had been doing to Hyungwon before, he had held back. This was not the hesitant Hoseok constantly asking him whether he was okay. This Hoseok didn't give a shit and took what he wanted and Hyungwon fucking loved it. He could bet that this was Hoseok when he let go, dominant and demanding. Hyungwon had never been this hard in his entire life. Actually he _hated_ being pushed and ordered around by people.

_Except when it was Hoseok._

“I want to see those pretty lips of yours around my dick again,” Hoseok groaned, voice deep and going straight to Hyungwon’s erection. Shit he wanted to blow him and watch him lose control, praising him and closing his eyes in pleasure. Remembering how Hoseok had been unable to look at him before, he nodded at the request and went to a better fitting place for Hoseok to lie down, turning around and crawling on all fours.

It must have looked really strange as he was naked, but Hoseok gaped at him when he turned around, still as affected as before.

Hyungwon’s bed was huge and they were going to use it. Pointing at the perfect spot he licked his lips, knowing the effect it would have. “Then lie down so you can look at me while I do it,” he said, watching the change in Hoseok’s expression and impatiently waiting for him to lie down and let him blow his mind. He had fucking researched just for this and Hoseok was going to regret teaching him anything. Or thank god for sending him Hyungwon.

_Probably the second._

Hyungwon smirked and licked his lips again.

“You can bet that I won't be able to look anywhere else.” How could Hoseok look affected and dominant at the same time? It was a riddle that Hyungwon was willing to solve, but not now. Now he wanted Hoseok to finally lie down so he could taste his dick without warm water in the way.

“You coming?" he asked again, tapping the sheets with his left hand, a little impatient.  
  
“I’m happy that you couldn’t hear what I just thought, fuck.” Hoseok moved to the place Hyungwon suggested and sat down, legs spread looking at him with that predator gaze of his. Great, now Hyungwon just had to show that he was a good learner. Placing both of his hands on Hoseok’s hips he sank down, gaze not parting from the other man’s and licked up a stripe from the base to the top just like Hoseok had. Rolling the tip in his mouth he sucked lightly, before letting it go and lapping at it with his tongue again. Hoseok really had a beautiful dick, straight, long and thick, like a fucking treat.

_Don’t say that out loud or you’ll scare yourself Hyungwon._

Overcome with enthusiasm, fuelled by Hoseok’s moans and the promised eyes on his face, he grabbed the other man's erection with his left hand, stabilizing it and swallowed it as far as it could go, hitting the back of his throat and doing his best to suppress his gagging reflex. He hummed.  
  
Hoseok was obviously loosing his fucking mind. Low moans, his fingers pulling at Hyungwon’s hair, hips trying to thrust more into his mouth. He cursed, told Hyungwon how much he wanted him, that noone could make him feel this way, that he was doomed. It was fucking hot and Hyungwon couldn't help but feel powerful at the ability to turn someone like Hoseok into a moaning mess.

Humming some more he sucked his way up, focusing on the slit as soon as he reached it. The taste was actually fine and didn't throw him off as much as he had expected.

He was just about to sink down again when everything was over suddenly as Hoseok just randomly pulled his head back and stared, panting hard.

_Shit, you probably fucked up you idiot._

“Did I do something wrong?" Hyungwon asked, unable to mask the worry in his voice and roughness of his throat. His lips were pulsating from his previous efforts. Hoseok could get fucking everybody after all and didn't have to rely on Hyungwon to satisfy him.  
  
“You did everything in the most perfect way, which is why I’m not going to come in your mouth. Get your ass between my legs.” Hoseok pointed at the spot in front of him.

Hyungwon stared right back, unsure about what exactly Hoseok wanted from him. There were two possibilities after all. “Which way round?" he asked eventually.  
  
“I might know what you are thinking right now but don’t be scared. I just want to feel you from all angles, so come sit between my legs, while leaning back on my chest.”

Now Hyungwon was even more confused. Why would he be scared? He just needed to know how to sit. “I'm not scared.That was my question, whether it's front to back or front to front. “ He smiled to show that he was fine and crawled between Hoseok’s legs, leaning back and closing his eyes.  
  
“You should be scared though. Thank god my mind is functioning properly…,” Hoseok whispered. “You have absolutely no idea, don’t you?” he added while breathing hot air into Hyungwon’s ear, hands reaching between his legs, curling his fingers around his erection in a familiar way. Hyungwon moaned trying to reflect on Hoseok’s question and give a proper answer, but failed, legs spreading to give Hoseok more access and head leaning against him, hands grabbing Hoseok’s arm for support. If Hoseok was capable of rational thought he had probably recovered by now.

“So you mean you're sober now?" the lawyer asked finally.  
  
“No I’m not, but thankfully sober enough to not fuck you right here.” Hoseok’s extremely low voice growled into his ear while thrusting his hips into his back.

Hyungwon froze. Fuck. The thought had been at the back of his mind, carefully packed away and not accessible, but of course Hoseok had to bring it out, freaking the shit out of him. Trying to remember that Hoseok said he wasn't going to fuck his brains out Hyungwon took deep breaths.  
  
“What? Are you scared now? Don’t be, I won't, unless you come and ask me nicely of course.” Hoseok’s fingers continued stroking his dick while biting and kissing the skin of his neck and shoulders. Hyungwon felt reassured, letting himself go because there was no reason for him to ever come to Hoseok and beg to be fucked. He didn't even know whether it felt good yet.

‘ _Yet’? You mean ‘in general’, Hyungwon._

Another well placed stroke on his dick forced him to throw his head back and forget every coherent thought. “Fuck, Hoseok. Your hands.”  
  
“I bet that feels nice.” The muscular arm continued the movements, fingers spreading the precum, low voice still whispering in his ear. “Damn you have no idea what your body does to me. I bet it feels so nice to be buried deep inside of you.” Hyungwon felt a smirk against his neck as Hoseok continued. Holy fuck. It didn't make sense because Hyungwon didn't even know what that entailed but his body reacted immediately, dick twitching, balls contracting and orgasm washing over him like a wave.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, lungs burning and limbs like jelly. Only after Hoseok had stroked him through the aftershocks he felt ready to speak. He had been fucking tense this month and his body was struggling with the intensity of a proper orgasm. “I think I can feel what my body does to you Hoseok. “ The other man's cock was still poking his back.  
  
Hoseok kissed his shoulders slowly, applying more or less pressure on his lips depending on the spot he kissed. “Don’t bother, I didn’t touch myself for a month, I’m pretty sure I can be celibate now.” He chuckled, the sound too fucking sexy.

Hyungwon froze again. “You what?" he asked unable to hide the shock. How could Hoseok not touch himself for a month? He was a guy for one night stands! What threw him off his track like that?  
  
“Yeah, you were kind of the only thing that I could jerk off to, so I tried not to.” Hoseok just smiled. “Let me get some tissues to clean it up.” He stood up leaving Hyungwon sitting on the bed spread legged. Did Hoseok just say that he had been so hooked on Hyungwon that he hadn’t been able to think of anyone else sexually?

_You apparently threw him off his track Hyungwon._

Shit, Hyungwon wanted to crush him with the relief he felt. He had been fucking right. Hoseok was sexually attracted to him. He wanted to roll his eyes in annoyance at their stupidity, specifically Hoseok’s. “Let me guess! And you thought you were forcing your dick on me so you kept running away?" he asked, clearly amused although he should have cried at the ridiculousness of it all. The thought that he could touch Hoseok if he wanted to plastered a smile on his face that he couldn't suppress.  
  
“My dick?” Hoseok came back with a couple of wet tissues. “I...guess you could say that.” He immediately started to clean every spot on Hyungwon’s body, brushing over his skin tenderly. “I thought you were straight. I mean you are straight, Changkyun said. Ah whatever, let’s not talk about this.” Hoseok tried hard to ignore his erection but it was obviously not helping, barely visible shiver coursing through the other man’s legs. Hyungwon liked that he had something to influence him with.

In addition he also didn't want to talk about his sexuality right now.

“Shut the fuck up and give me your dick Hoseok,” Hyungwon ordered and kissed the other man on the lips. Hoseok melted into the kiss like hot lava, grabbing Hyungwons face with both hands to be as close as possible. The lawyer loved it when the man in his arms was so desperate. After Hyungwon himself had come was always the moment when he could drive Hoseok mad, stealing away his sanity. “May I blow you?" he asked, wanting to continue where he left off.  
  
“What kind of fucked up question is that?” Hoseok looked at him in surprise.

Hyungwon laughed at the hilarious expression gracing his features. “Well just now you seemed pretty fond of keeping me away from your dick, talking about being celibate and all that other bullshit.“ He licked his lips demonstratively until he had an even better idea. “Or,” he paused, lowering the tone of his voice. “You fuck my mouth again.“  
  
Hoseok’s eyes widened in surprise until the expression exchanged and he looked more like a wolf looking at a sheep. “Are you sure?” A smirk appeared on his face and he glanced down to his huge erection, then at Hyungwon’s mouth. The lawyer couldn't help but feel a little nervous. He hadn't been joking when he told Hoseok that he had a big mouth a month ago, but everything had its limits, even the space between his lips.

Hoseok stood up from the bed, where he had been cleaning Hyungwon up, without waiting for an answer, leaning against the wall next to it and pointing at a spot in front of his feet. “Come here then.”

Fuck that was hot. Hyungwon decided to play along, smirking and slowly crawling towards him on all fours, not letting his gaze leave Hoseok’s dick, licking his lips. He slipped down from the bed slowly. Shit this was fun.  
  
“Fuck Hyungwon, don’t try to mess up my self control. If you continue like that, I’ll take it as ‘asking nicely’.” Nice attempt.

Hyungwon didn't change his facial expression, crawling until he was kneeling right in front of Hoseok’s dick. “You could start by fucking my face first.” The other man wasn't going to scare him right now. He had a goal and a Hoseok that lost control was the best Hoseok.

A low moan escaped the other man's mouth as Hyungwon spoke the words. “Open it,” he hissed. So Hyungwon did, nice and slow, looking at Hoseok with his bedroom eyes, especially big, enhancing his facial features. Hyungwon loved the look of pure want in the other's eyes, exciting him even more than being touched did.

Hoseok didn’t wait for an invitation. Looking back like a wild animal spotting his prey, he pushed himself inside Hyungwon’s mouth while grabbing the back of his head with his hand to stabilize. All those nasty curses hit Hyungwon’s ears. Hoseok bit his lower lip while thrusting in his mouth, gaze still glued to his eyes. Probably to make sure, he wasn’t hurt.

Hyungwon was not hurt but not fucking okay either, losing his breath but living off the sounds vacating Hoseok’s mouth. Shit he wanted him to come in his mouth and also didn't. It was too complicated to waste resources on and Hyungwon was busy holding his breath and relaxing his throat, sucking when he had enough time before Hoseok slid out of his mouth, just to thrust inside again.

When Hyungwon felt tears in his eyes he realized that Hoseok had managed to slide a big portion of his length into his mouth and was visibly losing it. Fuck, it must have looked crazy. Hoseok was delirious and obviously close, releasing himself from Hyungwon’s mouth and panting as if he ran a marathon just now.  
  
“Shit, I’m so close, fuck.” His breath was irregular and strained. Hyungwon sucked in a long and much needed breath.

“Why would you stop if you're close Hoseok?" he asked, voice barely recognizable. “Just come down my throat like you want to.” He grabbed Hoseok’s dick with his right hand, moving up and down his length.  
  
“Fuck.” Hoseok slid his dick smoothly into Hyungwon’s mouth again, his voice echoing in the lawyer’s head. “Hyungwon.” His name sounded like praying from Hoseok’s lips when the beautiful man climaxed, whole body tensing, flexing every muscle, Hyungwon’s name on his lips again, filling his mouth. Hyungwon swallowed out of reflex, sensing Hoseok’s release sink down his throat and was shocked at himself. He couldn't believe that he had told Hoseok to come into his mouth. Drops moved past his lips and ran down his chin.  
  
Hoseok hissed another quiet ‘fuck’ and dropped on his knees in front of Hyungwon, cupping his face and kissing him, tongue sliding inside of his mouth, tasting everything and humming quietly.

Hoseok was crazy. Simply crazy. Hyungwon kissed back as well as he could, still lacking air and disbelieving that Hoseok kissed him despite having his release in his mouth.  
  
“That was the most amazing thing I’ve experienced in my life. Shit just don’t run away, how am I supposed to live after that?” Hoseok was still kissing him, his chin, his cheeks, stroking his head and looking into his eyes so tenderly. Hyungwon was mesmerized by the outburst of confessions, but also amused and a little bit bitter.

“Come on Hoseok, I'm sure one of your partners has let you fuck their mouth before.“ It was amazing how Hyungwon managed to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal and he did it all the time although neither of those things was the case. He felt a little proud of himself. Hoseok’s praise did things.  
  
“They’re not you. No-one can compare. Fuck.” Hoseok looked down and swallowed. “Just tell me if you want me to stop touching you.” Hyungwon couldn't help but feel a little frustrated at the words. He doubted very much that it being him made so much of a difference. New things were anyways more exciting than something that happened weeks ago.

Hyungwon smiled nonetheless, reassuring Hoseok. “You know Hoseok. I think you know me well enough. If I wouldn't want you to touch me you'd know.“  
  
“If you knew what it was like during those three weeks. I thought I was going to die, shit.” Hoseok smiled sorely while stroking his cheek.

Hyungwon placed a kiss on his lips. “Seriously Hoseok. If I wouldn't have wanted you to touch me, your mom would have found your balls on her breakfast platter.” He grinned, trying to move his legs after sitting on them for too long. Long limbs could be really annoying, the blood left for several minutes once it did.

The lawyer realized they were both sitting there, naked and talking, not as awkward as he thought they would be. Hoseok wasn't running away and Hyungwon wasn't talking work because there was none. He felt calm for the first time in a month.  
  
Hoseok’s strong arms helped him up until he realized that his long legs fell asleep and he grabbed Hyungwon's shoulders to keep him standing. “How can someone so sassy, have such a weak body? Seriously.” Hoseok was laughing and hugging him tightly.

“Oh shut up. It's not my fault I'm a fucking noodle.” Hyungwon laughed too, smile spreading wide and eyes turning small.

It was hilarious. A few hours ago he wanted to eat ice cream alone, being devastated at the fact that Hoseok didn't want to talk to him and now he was naked in the other man's arms, laughing. It was pleasant but also a little strange.  
  
What the hell were they?

  
***

 

Hyungwon came into his life to make him feel all kinds of interesting things he never experienced before. He caused Hoseok to suffer and he made his body tingle in excitement, made him swallow a limp in his throat, butterflies all over him, painting a huge smile on his face. It didn’t make sense at all, but that was what it felt like.  
  
Then again, he made him feel all kinds of nasty things, things Hoseok didn’t want to think about. Dominating him, pulling his hair, ordering him around and praising him for listening well. Thrusting into his mouth, thinking about being buried inside of him, filling him up, his body falling apart under his touch and his movements inside of his body, making Hyungwon lose his fucking mind, begging him not to stop.

That was not part of the plan. Not that there was one in the first place.

Those thoughts didn’t fade while he was touching Hyungwon, sitting in his lap, Hoseok’s erection pressing against the other man’s back. Those thoughts became so vivid and materialized when Hyungwon crawled to him on all fours, looking him in the eyes and licking those sinful lips of his. The other wanted to provoke him, sure, Hoseok knew that, but the effect was much stronger than he expected. He gave him another warning but Hyungwon just dumped more fuel into the fire by telling him to start with fucking his mouth first.  
  
_Calm down. Calm the fuck down. Don’t hurt him._   
  
Hoseok had enough mind control left to make sure not to hurt Hyungwon, sitting in front of him opening his mouth, but he was so close to losing it completely. He wanted to have him so badly, all of him, everything, forever.

Moving in and out of his mouth felt like heaven. People who were addicted to drugs? He could relate to them now.

 _This feeling you get when something is so beyond belief that you start thinking of strategies to deal with the loss when it’s gone_.

That was a pretty accurate description of what he felt, when Hyungwon just told him to come down his throat. Those brown eyes looking up at him, lips moist and swollen, stroking his dick with his hand. Breathing hurt, thinking hurt, the only thing that didn’t was Hyungwon’s mouth around him when he came with a loud shout of his name, whole body tensing in shock, euphoria replacing the painful tension in the pit of his stomach.  
  
Hoseok couldn’t help but sink down to his knees, level with Hyungwon, his release running down the other man’s beautiful jaw. His chest clenched again and he wanted to suck him into his lungs again, make Hyungwon a part of himself, but he just kissed him. Hoseok kissed his lips tasting himself on them, stroking the sweaty skin of Hyungwon’s cheek.  
  
_You were not supposed to be even more in love after this, shit._ _  
_ _  
_ But on the bright side, Hyungwon kind of thought of him as attractive and told him he liked being touched by him, although he was straight. It was not the first time Hoseok fucked a straight man after all.  
  
_Yeah only that you didn’t fuck him. You just told him you would, dickhead._   
  
Yes. Hoseok decided to save up the regrets for later, sitting on his couch and suffering like a mental person, drinking too much and cursing at himself.  
  
“Let’s get dressed and then I might need another glass of water, because this was comparable to drinking a bottle of cognac. Alone.” Hoseok smiled while holding Hyungwon in his arms. The other man kept holding onto him and standing on his toes repeatedly, rising even further above Hoseok on his toes until he sank down again.

“Honestly, if someone should replace all the alcohol in his house with water it's you. You need reverse Jesus Hoseok,” he said as he slapped Hoseok’s chest with his right palm, leaving it there and grinning.  
  
The problem was obvious. Hoseok came, he had an orgasm, it couldn’t have been tension or lust. He loved Hyungwon’s personality. He loved the way he threw sassy, sarcastic comments at him, while resting naked in his arms, not even able to stand properly.

Hoseok was so whipped he almost sunk into self pity again, but the other man was so beautiful, it distracted him from his own destructive thoughts. Hyungwon’s hair stuck to his forehead, lips red and swollen, sweat beads on his forehead, brown eyes reflecting the soft light of the table lamp. He looked at Hoseok and moved his lips. _  
_

“You there Hoseok? I asked you something.” Hyungwon was staring at him curiously, hand still on his chest and standing on his own. His voice still sounded rough. Hoseok didn’t hear it, fascinated by the sight Hyungwon served him, standing there naked, gaze glued to his face.  
  
“It is so weird. I don’t want you to get dressed, just stay like this forever.” Hoseok curled his arm around the lawyer’s naked waist and pressed him closer again. Hyungwon looked at him as if he was fucking stupid.

“Hoseok,” he began, rolling his eyes. “I look like shit, my hair is sweaty and my throat feels like-” He looked a little unsure before the sassy returned. “Well like exactly what I did. Spare the cheese for later.“  
  
Hyungwon didn’t understand, of course he didn’t but it was better like this. He might have run away if he did.

“I will try, but you make it hard for me. Get dressed I’ll be there in a second.” Hoseok left the lawyer in the bedroom, grabbing his underwear on the way to the kitchen. He put it on to not be naked in someone's kitchen. Naked in someone's bathtub was good enough for today. He got a glass of water and went back. Poor Hyungwon wasn’t used to stuff like that.  
  
_Why would he be used to sucking huge dicks Hoseok?_   
  
He entered the bedroom shaking his head at his own thoughts and walked over to Hyungwon holding the glass in his right hand. The lawyer hadn't dressed in his previous sweatpants and t-shirt, but ripped pants and an oversized white shirt. The bed was made and Hoseok’s clothes were carefully folded on top of it. Hyungwon took the glass and emptied it immediately. “Fuck I needed that. Thanks.”  
  
He was sin. Even the way he dressed was sin. Hoseok didn’t even mean the way Hyungwon wore those expensive clothes, looking professional and intimidating, dangerous and hot. Also his casual style kept Hoseok’s breath stuck in his lungs, images of the lawyer dancing the other night at the club flashed his mind and he shook his head again. He must’ve looked mental, which he was. He slipped into his clothes and turned to Hyungwon staring at him.

“Are you still drunk? You keep spacing out. Need a fist?" Hyungwon asked with a grin, already standing at the door and casually leaning against it as usual, holding out his fist and pushing it into the flat palm of his other hand.  
  
“I love how you regain your vocabulary so fast after only being able to say ‘don’t stop’ for half an hour.” Hoseok grinned right in his face and closed the distance. “I’d take a coffee instead of the fist.”

“Please,” he added leaning in so close that he almost brushed his lips against Hyungwon’s. The lawyer didn't move away and just kept the lack of distance. “I'm pretty sure that towards the end your vocabulary mainly consisted of ‘Hyungwon‘, but sure. Whatever makes you happy.” Hyungwon grinned as if he thought he won the exchange.  
  
“My vocabulary always consists of ‘Hyungwon’, you’re just too ignorant to realize.” He walked past the materialized sin standing in the doorframe. “Do I have to make it myself, or will his majesty serve me?” Hoseok chuckled on his way to the kitchen.

“I'll serve you, peasant, but just cause I hate other people touching my stuff.” Hyungwon answered behind him, taking two cups out of the cupboard and turning on the coffee machine, pleasant mechanical humming filling the air. “And you're fucking cheesy Hoseok. Where did all that filth go?”  
  
He just went there, this sassy fucker. He must’ve felt secure being dressed and composed to go after the evidence of Hoseok’s loss of control.  
  
“Why? Do you want it to come back? I’ll consider, but only if you ask _nicely_.” Hoseok smirked and glued his gaze to the other man, while leaning on the counter and crossing his arms in front of his chest. As if a chain reaction started Hyungwon’s eyes widened, body turning away to do something with the coffee machine although it was unnecessary and mumbling ‘You just came how the fuck do you do this’ under his breath.

“You're cute, pussying out. I told you you have no idea, but you keep thinking I'm joking with you.” Hoseok was satisfied. Hyungwon was scared, of course he was, he shouldn't provoke Hoseok while he fought a war against his self control.

The lawyer took a cup and pressed a button on the coffee machine to fill it with dark brown liquid, placing the second cup close by. “You misunderstand,” he said still only looking at the coffee machine working. “I just don't understand your libido. Mine is happy with an orgasm per week and I'm as good as new.“

Hoseok laughed out loud. Damn Hyungwon was hilarious. “I'm so intrigued to show you how wrong you are,” Hoseok whispered in his ear and curled his arm around Hyungwon’s waist from behind, taking the cup of coffee standing next to the machine.

Hyungwon shivered while taking it from Hoseok’s hand and placing the second cup under the coffee machine, removing the first and putting it on the counter next to him. “Don't fucking laugh at me Shin Hoseok. I'll fucking kill you,“ he hissed.

“Why would you think I was laughing about you? You're cute.” He walked back grinning at Hyungwon’s attempt to sound dangerous. The lawyer threw him an unsure look before adding milk into one coffee, remembering Hoseok’s preferences and giving it to him.

“I'm pretty sure I'm out of the age to be disrespected with something like ‘cute’, Shin Hoseok.” He took the cup with the black coffee and took a sip, face disgusted for a short moment before it returned to annoyed. “School girls are cute, children are cute, puppies are cute. Me on the other hand? I'm not fucking cute.”

“You think it’s disrespect? Hmm what would you describe yourself as then?” Hoseok found this whole situation extremely amusing.

Hyungwon turned around, leaning against the counter and appeared in thought. “Sarcastic? Maybe even evil sometimes. Very focused on work and responsible. That's what I can think of right now.“ He took another sip of his black coffee and again looked mildly disgusted.

Hoseok smiled so bright that his eyes turned into crescent moons. Hyungwon was so oblivious of how beautiful he was, standing there, talking about himself, knowing nothing about the effect he had on him. Hoseok tried hard not to go there and kiss him, because he wanted to know everything and more.

“How did you turn from a dancer to a lawyer?” Hoseok still couldn't believe Hyungwon was a dancer before.

The question caught Hyungwon off guard again as he furrowed his eyebrows, but then he smiled back. “My grandfather always said that I should make my second favourite thing my job and keep the first as a hobby. Dancing has always been my passion and I didn't want to hate it because someone forced me to do it. Destroying people with my mouth and telling them they’re wrong, _that's_ something I can do easily while being paid for it.” He smiled at the thought, obviously satisfied with his decision. “Guess my grandfather might turn around in his grave if he knew what other ways I have to destroy people with my mouth.”

Hoseok swallowed hard and hoped his libido was swallowed with his saliva.

Hyungwon stared at him, pointing at the coffee that he still hadn't touched. “And you? Why are you the one-hoe?” He chuckled.

“Ho means tiger and music was always my passion, next to dancing by the way. It comforted me when I was devastated and gave me so much, so I wanted to give back. Producing, song-writing is something that helps me to know what I want in life. Sometimes my thoughts are so chaotic that I need a beat and sing lyrics to know what I want.” Hoseok ended his embarrassing monologue, still thankful for the change of topic and took a sip.

“Other question. What do you think of me? What kind of person do you think I am?” He needed to know what was going on in Hyungwon’s head. The lawyer seemed surprised, already back when Hoseok began his monologue.

“That was a lot of honesty served to me on a platter.” He commented, curiously looking Hoseok up and down. “I'd love to see you dance. That's what I think of you.” A grin widened his lips and he jumped up on the counter, apparently tired of standing and placing both hands between his legs, resting on them.

“Could you stop being a tease and answer?” Hoseok leaned his chest forward. Hyungwon was making it so hard for him to stay sane, again and again and again. “What?” Hyungwon seemed confused. “Why is telling you that I want to see you dance teasing?” Being oblivious as usual he leaned forward and spread his legs.

Shit.

Hoseok walked over, positioning himself between the lawyer’s legs, hands placed on both thighs.

“Are you fucking kidding me Chae Hyungwon?" he exclaimed.

Hyungwon hadn't expected that at all, since as soon as Hoseok came closer he moved back a little. His hands left the area between his legs and were thrown to the side, resting in the air close to his head, ready to react. “Where the fuck did that come from?" he asked back, eyes huge. This oblivious motherfucker.

“I thought I told you quadzillion of times what you do to me and you keep behaving like a fucking tease, arghh.” Hoseok exhaled. As if something suddenly made sense Hyungwon’s facial expression changed and he grabbed himself a fistful of Hoseok’s shirt, pulled him towards himself and kissed his lips, still holding onto the fabric. Hoseok’s fingers held onto lean thighs and he couldn't help but moan ‘fuck, Hyungwon’ into the lawyer's mouth like a needy bitch.

_What the fuck Hoseok?_

Hyungwon licked once over Hoseok’s upper lip and leaned back again, still holding onto the other's shirt. “Again just my name in your vocabulary?” He smirked. That fucker was enjoying the effect he had on him. Hoseok closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing, sucking the air in slowly, head sunk to his chest, losing the grip on Hyungwon’s thighs bit by bit while opening his eyes again.

The lawyer looked surprised, then a little disappointed. “Don't just let go.” The sassy expression returned and he obviously tried to look like he didn't give a shit.

“Be nice and answer my question.” Hoseok grabbed the lawyer's jaw with his right hand, moving his thumb over the lips, he couldn't help but look like a predator. That was all Hyungwon’s fault for riling him up, acting as if he was in control.

The lawyer stopped moving, eyes locked on Hoseok’s and took a slow breath. “What…do you want to know exactly?" he asked carefully, left hand moving to Hoseok’s waist and legs getting tighter on Hoseok’s hips.

How was that even possible? The tension was making it hard to breathe, Hyungwon’s legs around his hips, hands, those big eyes. Every single breath added another layer on the pile of tension that was about to crumble down on Hoseok.

“I might be the one with the vocabulary issue, but you are the guy with the memory one.” Closing his eyes again, trying to think about something else, about what he actually wanted to know before Hyungwon replaced all his thoughts with those long legs around his hips, Hoseok exhaled sharply.

“Help me to remember then,” Hyungwon murmured against the skin of his thumb, interrupting his attempts.

“I know exactly why I am like this, but I can't make any sense of why you are,” Hoseok whispered and crushed his lips on Hyungwon’s, capturing the lower lip he was obsessed with, moaning at the legs tightening around him, curling his hands around the other man's waist.

_You just came Hoseok, Hyungwon just came, what the fuck is this sorcery?_

Why couldn't they talk without getting their hands on each other. Hoseok knew about himself, but Hyungwon’s behaviour was a mystery to him.

The incessant ringing of a doorbell echoed through the apartment, interrupting every thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! It's a slightly longer one again :D
> 
> Feel free to talk to us on Twitter!
> 
> Hichanchen: https://twitter.com/Hichanchen  
> Smut_Hemingway: https://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have to change the things that you are able to change, accept the things you have no influence on and be wise enough to distinguish the one from the other, Hoseok-ah.”

Hyungwon was amazed at his communication skills. Hoseok and him were having a decent conversation in his kitchen and he hadn't lost his shit yet. Of course he still didn't know what they were and what the hell was going to happen in the future, but until now they solved their problems somehow.

_He was depressed for a month and you had anger management issues, Hyungwon. That's not what you call solving problems._

Despite the anger and disagreements in the beginning the atmosphere was still pretty relaxed. Hoseok was happily talking about his job, the honesty and excitement on his face mesmerizing. Hyungwon wanted to see him work on a song just to discover if there would be even more happiness on his face, features softening and peaceful smile on his lips. It was beautiful and picture worthy.

When Hoseok finished his monologue Hyungwon was a little disappointed. He had wanted to hear more, maybe even a self-produced song, but that would have to wait until next some other time. If Hyungwon played his cards right that is. Unfortunately Hoseok decided to use exactly that moment, relaxed and happy as he was, to ask Hyungwon about what he thought of him.

What kind of question was that? Another attempt of Hoseok to figure out if Hyungwon thought of him as a fuckboy just to tell him that he wasn't? Not jerking off for a month wasn't really a cleansing procedure and old habits die hard. Hyungwon generally had a hard time to avoid seeing typical flirting patterns in Hoseok’s words. He really didn't want to get hurt in the end, so playing his cards well and seeming causal was the best way to go.

_Smart considering that you never do casual and don't even fucking know how to be only sexual with someone, you fucking genius._

Hyungwon decided to avoid the question as much as possible, rather focusing on the honesty that Hoseok had shown him and the fact that he wanted to see him dance. Shit, he’d pay to see him dance, strong thighs moving, muscles bulging. He jumped up on the counter, leaning forward subconsciously while staring at Hoseok’s thighs. He placed his hands between his legs, resting on them and returned his gaze to the other man's face. It was necessary for his mental health.

“Could you stop being a tease and answer?”

Damn, Hyungwon had really hoped that Hoseok forgot the question. However calling him a tease was a bit much when he hadn't done anything.   
  
_Except for staring at his thighs as if you starved for days. What the fuck Hyungwon? You're supposed to be good for a week now. That's what you told him._

Hoseok was much less of the opinion that Hyungwon hadn't been a tease than he thought. The other man suddenly jumped him, asking him what the fuck he thought he was doing and placing himself between his legs. Hyungwon lifted his arms in shock, ready to react if necessary. When Hoseok pointed out the effect that the lawyer had on him, the sensation in Hyungwon groin immediately told him to act, so he did. Proper conduct be damned.

Smirking shamelessly and provoking Hoseok he pulled the man towards his lips, grabbing his shirt. The beautiful moan of his name that Hoseok released into his mouth was fucking worth it. Hyungwon loved the sensation of Hoseok’s mouth on his, hips between his legs. Letting go he teased him again. How could he not, now that his name sounded so beautiful coming from the other's lips?

He shouldn't have done that. Regaining control Hoseok loosened the grip on Hyungwon's thigh and his brain desperately tried to keep him there spitting out whatever made sense and could possibly have an effect on the other man, keeping him in place. It worked on Hoseok as he looked fucking dangerous and told Hyungwon to answer his question and Hyungwon couldn't fucking say no when Hoseok was like that. He just wanted to permanently attach himself to Hoseok’s hips with his legs and be ravished.  
  
_Fuck._

The attraction between them was immense. Hyungwon could see how Hoseok sucked up every word that left his lips, fighting his self-control and wishing to sink his fingers back into Hyungwon’s thighs and make him forget his name. Seeing the hot man in front of him close his eyes to regain control he said the most provocative thing that fit the situation and didn't consist of screaming at Hoseok to fuck him into a mattress, cause he wasn't ready for that. “Help me remember then,” he whispered, purposefully tightening his legs around Hoseok’s hips, hoping to get through to the other.

It fucking worked as Hoseok muttered something about not understanding him and crushed his lips on Hyungwon's. The temperature shot up a few degrees and Hyungwon wanted to rip everything that Hoseok had carefully put back on off his body and throw it on the ground. People like Hoseok had to run around naked. Shit Hyungwon didn't even know what weird ass epiphany Hoseok was going to have after leaving his apartment, so he decided to take what he could get before another month of being ignored or whatever Hoseok considered a good coping strategy.

Hoseok’s hands curled around his waist and he moaned. Hyungwon loved the sensation and the warmth on his inner thighs. His fingers were just about to reach out to unbutton Hoseok’s pants when a loud ringing echoed through the apartment.

His fucking door bell.

Hoseok broke the kiss and looked at him with plate-sized eyes, gaze asking if he was the only one who heard. “Did you invite guests?” Hoseok whispered slowly losing his grip on Hyungwon’s body and walking backwards.

The lawyer rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I never fucking invite guests. Did I ever invite you? Everyone just fucking pops by for some reason.” Shit, Hyungwon was so pissed. There he went, having Hoseok right where he wanted him and a poor excuse of a friend had to ring his doorbell. Knowing his luck it was Changkyun and the ringing wouldn't stop the next 1,5 hours.

“Don't you want to open the door?” Hoseok asked after one minute of non stop ringing.

Hyungwon huffed angrily, jumped off the counter and glared at him. “No, but I'll have to if you don't want to go deaf in the next 1,5 hours.” Actually they were a little lucky too, since Minhyuk was even more difficult and Hyungwon really didn't want to develop the wish to choke one of his best friends for his inherent desire to attach himself to everything hot and male.

Growling in anger he walked over to the front door and ripped it open, finally stopping the onslaught. “What?!” he screamed at an oblivious Changkyun, standing in front of his door with a package of something that looked like his favourite snacks and ice cream. Shit, Hyungwon was such an asshole. It was obvious that Changkyun hadn't expected him to actually open the door, being the shitty friend he usually was. Especially not that quickly.

“Changkyun?” Hoseok’s face stuck out of the door frame like in some slapstick comedy. Hyungwon wanted to facepalm, hard.

Their common friend and cock-block just walked in, kicking his shoes in the corner and switching his gaze from Hoseok to Hyungwon and back.

“Okay what kind of sick shit is this? I thought you two were filming a movie last week, kissing and crying and all this. I had to run around to comfort you both just to find you here together?” He walked over to Hoseok pointing his index finger at him trying hard to hold the snacks in his other hand. Hyungwon just hoped that he could let Hoseok handle this and inhale the ice cream. He hadn't been the one acting weird, Hoseok was!

“And you, Shin Hoseok, you know how long I waited in front of your door while you were having fun here?” Changkyun dropped the stuff on the counter, “And now fucking explain.” Hyungwon slowly walked over to the counter and grabbed a package of dried squid. Maybe he could pretend to just watch it all from the counter. He jumped up, sat down comfortably and ripped open the package.

“Don't you dare just suck on the squid right now! Why is Hoseok here? He's not in his right mind, don't you see?” Changkyun pointed at Hoseok and let out an annoyed sigh. Hyungwon laughed. Of course Changkyun was blaming him for hurting his poor little Hyung again. “No shit, puppy. He turned up, drunk out of his mind, thinking that's his apartment. You should thank me for bringing him back to his senses instead of screaming at me.” Hopefully Changkyun realized that the only one who was being treated like shit was Hyungwon.

Changkyun’s gaze went back to Hoseok who leaned on the doorframe and watched the whole situation arms crossed in front of his chest. 

“Yeah he brought me back to life. His methods are no joke, Changkyun.” Hoseok smiled like a nasty little shit. What the flying fuck was he even saying? Changkyun wasn't dumb. It was just a matter of time until he would throw crazy ass hypotheses at them and Hyungwon wasn't ready for that conversation.

“I even called Minhyuk for advice,“ he quickly added until he realized that didn't necessarily make it any better. Fuck. Shit. What was he thinking? He had only called because Hoseok fainted, but if he said that Changkyun would be worried and he'd have to mention the bath and everything that entailed. Hyungwon was panicking silently, sitting on the counter and munching on squid.

“Listen I just want you to stop kissing Hyungwon if you want to make him angry, because he just cries. He's straight okay? He can't handle stuff like that!” Changkyun was waving his finger at Hoseok, the other man's eyes widening after every word.

Well that was awkward.

Hyungwon choked on his piece of squid, grabbing the rest of his coffee and drowning the dried snack in it. Where the fuck did Changkyun get that theory from? Hyungwon turned towards Hoseok, expecting an explanation. The other looked less surprised and more shocked at the outburst, eyes wide but mouth closed and attentive. What the fuck Hoseok?

_He kissed you to make you angry? Well that worked fabulously._

“And you.” The boy pointed at Hyungwon. “Hoseok didn't eat anything for three weeks because you made him upset with your sassy mouth. He looked like shit, drank and cried around so don't make him upset anymore. Just be friends okay?” Changkyun walked over to the mini bar and got himself a glass of cognac. Hyungwon spit the sip of coffee he took on his kitchen floor and fought the memories of his sassy mouth around Hoseok’s dick. He jumped down from the counter and quickly took some tissues to get rid of the mess, avoiding looking at Changkyun and thinking about the mini bar incident. The living area of the room was still off limits for fuck’s sake.

“Damn I love this bar counter, so convenient!” Changkyun turned around sipping on his drink.

“I know right. The best,” Hoseok answered as if absentminded. Hyungwon wanted to slap him and felt the colour leave his face. Still on the floor, washing over the tiles with a tissue, he wanted the ground to swallow him and preferably not let him out until both Changkyun and Hoseok left his apartment. Especially his living room.

Hoseok started moving towards the hall. “I think I've drained enough energy from you today, Hyungwon. I'll be on my way home,” he called while putting on his shoes. If by energy he meant orgasms then it wasn't fucking enough. Hyungwon ran after him, hissing quietly. “Shit don't just leave like that. He'll fucking drill me.”

The other man looked up from his shoe and smiled. “I don't think I'm that much of a help though. Thank you so much for taking care of my drunken state today.” Hoseok stood up, grabbed Hyungwon’s hand and squeezed it tightly while smiling at him, eyes turned to little crescent moons. “Bye Kkung, see ya,” he shouted towards the living room and went out closing the door behind him.

Hyungwon just stood there, staring at the door, not sure whom he hated more, Hoseok or himself. This wasn't how he had expected the situation to end. The two of them still hadn't fucking talked this through.   
  
_Because you avoided it like the plague in the end Hyungwon._

Suddenly he felt his phone vibrating in the pocket of his ripped jeans.

‘Hyungwon, I'm sorry for… everything you want me to be sorry for. :) HS’, the message read.

Hyungwon could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest, ideas of what he could possibly answer and all the possibilities and excuses for meeting Hoseok blowing up in his mind. Now he just needed his brain and this little combination of digits to solve most of his problems. He took a deep breath to calm down and not think about seeing Hoseok again although he had just walked out the door, mere seconds ago.

_Shit Hyungwon, you're so hooked._

What the lawyer really wanted right now was having Hoseok in his arms, preferably between his legs, touching him everywhere and throwing him around like a lightweight. A bro evening with his favourite snacks and ice cream? Not so much.

Hyungwon slowly walked towards the living room, genuinely considering jerking off in the bathroom until Changkyun realized his absence. He peeked inside, seeing his best friend lying on the couch, chips in his mouth and feet placed comfortably on the arm rest. Recognising Hyungwon standing in the frame he smiled. “Movie marathon and ice cream?" he asked grinning from ear to ear. It was so contagious that Hyungwon couldn't help smiling back. Changkyun was a fucking angel.

Maybe this was exactly what he needed. Some distraction from his thoughts and the complicated mess that his sexual obsession with Hoseok was. Neurotically avoiding the mini bar with his eyes Hyungwon walked over to Changkyun and dropped his lean body on top of his legs. “You better have strawberry ice cream, lowly human.”

“You bet.”

 

***

  
Hoseok’s imaginative power was no joke, but even considering every possible outcome, he couldn’t have imagined standing in the kitchen, half hard, trying to come up with an answer to Changkyun’s drilling questions. Hyungwon should’ve just closed the door in front of the boy’s face and come back to him, attaching his lips back to where they belonged.   
  
_He doesn’t belong to you Hoseok, and he never will. Stop being so fucking possessive._   
  
Thankfully Hyungwon’s mouth was something else, and he just blabbered about Hoseok coming to his house drunk adding the sentence about bringing him back to life. It escalated when Changkyun started mentioning the night at the bar a week ago. Hoseok wanted to facepalm, hard. He needed to go as soon as possible, unless he wanted it to become a situation he couldn’t handle.   
  
“Damn I love this bar counter, so convenient!” Changkyun’s words released the pictures carefully stored in Hoseok’s amazing memory. Hyungwon sitting on top of it, spread legged, looking at him, so beautifully vulnerable. Hoseok got lost for a moment and felt the blood rushing between his legs. This was the perfect moment to leave. He didn’t have the wish to explain to Changkyun why he was standing at the doorframe getting hard at the mention of a bar counter.   
  
Hyungwon ran after him, hissing. The other couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Hoseok to leave. Squeezing the long fingers in his, a smile appeared on Hoseok’s face because he felt genuinely happy being able to touch the other without thinking much about the consequences.   
  
He pressed the ground floor button and looked at the screen of his phone, still showing him the message that started everything.   
  
‘Hyungwon, I’m sorry for…’, there was so much he was sorry for, but he couldn’t point out one thing. ‘Everything you want me to be sorry for’ Hoseok typed and pressed send.   
  
His limbs felt like jelly and his mind went blank after arriving home and getting under his blanket. Closing his eyes Hoseok realized he was still influenced by the insane amount he drank, surprised at himself for not dying.   
  
_Good job body_.   
  
_And also Hyungwon thinks you’re hot._ _  
_ _  
_ He smiled at himself. That was nice, but he was still confused about what the other wanted from him. He was getting intimate with a straight man. He was already in love with a straight man. It was doomed from the start but he felt helpless. He wanted to have everything Hyungwon was willing to give him, even if it hurt and ripped his chest apart, if it pushed him off the cliff and made him feel everything at the same time messing with his sanity.   
  
_Just let him use you, until he decides to throw you away._ _  
_ _  
_ _Right._ He would deal with the consequences later, the thought of being able to meet Hyungwon, talk to him and touch him filled his insides with unreasonable euphoria. He remembered what his mother used to say to him, when he was suffering.   
  
_“You have to change the things that you are able to change, accept the things you have no influence on and be wise enough to distinguish the one from the other, Hoseok-ah.”_   
  
There was no way for him to have Hyungwon, so he had to accept it and suffer later on.   
The familiar face appeared in front of his inner eye, not hurting him anymore, smiling sassily. Hoseok was happy, so easily.   
  
Just like that.

 

_

  
  
His head felt like a wrecking ball after eliminating a whole fucking country. Eyes still closed Hoseok massaged his temples but it made it worse. Him and his friend alcohol needed a break in their relationship, that’s become too close. He would just hit his head against the wall next time he wanted to drink, the feeling was pretty much the same.

  
Annoying ringing made the headache even worse. But nothing was worse than the name that blinked on the display of his phone. _Fuck_.  
  
“Hoseok, it’s not that I’m especially fond of your balls or anything, but I need the guide TODAY.” Kihyun’s voice got louder towards the end torturing his eardrums and sending painful spikes through his head. Shit, he was not joking and Hoseok had to edit the guide again because of an instrumental he had to re-record.  
  
“I know. I’m on my way to the studio, you’ll get it in maximum four hours. Remember the guitar? I exchanged it to saxophone, I think it fits your voice much better,” Hoseok tried to calm down the obviously furious man on the other side of the line.  
  
“If you weren’t a fucking genius I would’ve ripped out your balls two months ago, and half a year ago, like every fucking time you do this to me, but look at me, I just love you too much.” Kihyun ended his annoyed monologue and hung up. It was amazing that a bitchy human like that had the most angelic voice he’d ever heard. Kihyun’s talent was truly admirable.  
  
Hoseok forgot that Hyungwon was not the only thing in his life, music was there before the lawyer appeared to fuck shit up. He _had_ to finish the guide, today. Crawling out of the bed on all fours, he couldn’t help but remember Hyungwon crawling towards him in all his naked glory. Hoseok didn’t have time to take care of his sexual needs, as he remembered Kihyun threatening to literally rip his balls out if he wasn’t done in four hours. Kihyun was a scary person, so much frustration is such a small body. Hoseok laughed to himself about his annoyed friend looking like a highschooler.  
  
Leaning back in his ergonomic chair Hoseok felt in his element again, hands rubbing over the fabric of his skinny ripped jeans in excitement over the new song. He exchanged the instrument and edited different drums to the hook. It was perfect. Kihyun’s unbelievable voice would make the song even more beautiful.

Two short vibrations on his work desk indicated a WhatsApp message arriving.   
  
‘Hi Hoseok. You okay? Considering that you couldn't tell your door from someone else's I wasn't sure you'd get home without problems - His Majesty.’   
  
Hoseok laughed out loud. He was simply amazed at how Hyungwon managed to drop kick every door Hoseok was hiding behind. Whether it was alcohol, sorrow or even music, his passion. He typed while smiling like an idiot.   
  
‘Hi cutie. I’m perfectly fine, depleting the rest alcohol in my blood. But thank you for caring about your lowly peasant. I’m currently in the studio, finished a guide to a new song, what about you? -Hs.’   
  
Hoseok pressed send and laughed imagining the expression on Hyungwon’s face after reading that Hoseok called him cute again. That served him right, this sassy ass. His right hand raked through the black hair, brushing the bangs back while swinging back and forth on the chair. Yes he was waiting for an answer and yes it was school girl behavior but he couldn’t care less. He imagined the other man sitting at his expensive desk, wearing a black tailored suit paired with a white slim-fit shirt and glasses, looking at his phone and losing his shit at Hoseok calling him cute. Hoseok’s ringing laugh echoed through the studio, man this was so much fun.

When the answer finally came it didn't disappoint. ‘You must be having a lot of work to do considering you were staring at your phone all this time and had the decency to call me cute again. I'm disappointed in your cognitive abilities, unable to remember my warnings - His Majesty.’  
  
Hoseok laughed like a maniac again, he was not going to lose this one. ‘Your warnings are nothing but cute. You must be busy too, staring at me staring at my phone to know that I was online. Must be hard not to be obsessed with me.’ Hoseok let out a groan and cringed so hard that his body bent in half. He threw his phone on the table. Hyungwon wouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing him wait again.   
  
Hoseok’s stomach made self-eating noises and he realized the last thing he ate was a coffee in Hyungwon’s kitchen. Shit, it was 4 PM already. The wish to see the other man dominated his mind again, Hoseok even had an excuse, but the other was probably working. However, it was okay to give it a try.   
  
‘I realized I didn’t eat since inhaling the coffee at your place yesterday. Did you eat yet? Do you want to grab something together?’ Hoseok sent a smiley shortly after to not make it look as if he was desperate, which he fucking was. He just hoped the lawyer hadn’t eaten yet and would meet him for something tasty.   
  
_Something tasty to eat_. _Food Hoseok, food._   
  
The answer came almost immediately, as if Hyungwon had been waiting to throw a rejection at him. Just that it wasn't one. ‘Considering that you call me obsessed you must really be wanting to see me again. Technically I'm not opposed but you don't even know how far my work is from yours. Is this the point at which the corny ‘I'd walk a thousand miles’ lines come in? I wouldn't put it past you. - His Majesty.’ Hoseok smiled brightly, he knew where Hyungwon’s office was. It was written on the business card the other had handed him fabulously at their first meeting. It was basically five minutes by car. 

Another message appeared on his screen. ‘And don't you dare arrive at my office without a warning just because you know where it is. I had enough unexpected guests the last two days. - His Majesty’  
  
Fingers started typing furiously. ‘I know that you’re the majesty, you can stop writing that. I bet your office has a nice desk, and I bet you never sat on it naked. I won’t come. My studio is on the 7th Avenue, Building Nr. 1993. Pick something on the way or just move your ass here.’

Hoseok received a few annoyed smileys. ‘I didn't say that you shouldn't come here Hoseok. Just that I don't want it to be _unannounced_. I'm already in my car, so I'll pop by. Your studio better not be as messy as your head.’ Damn Hyungwon was so sassy, he loved it.   
  
‘It’s as clean as my thoughts Hyungwon. I’ll tell the security that a scary man in a suit will come by so they don’t throw you out. I want Ramyeon.’   
  
Hoseok clicked enter and moved his gaze over the big room looking for anything that could be used against him later. The big leather couch with the wool blanket lying accurately folded on the armrest, a small table in front of it, his huge work desk taking over one third of the room, everything clean and accurate. A couple of figures he collected out of boredom standing next to bottles of expensive alcohol in the glass case, pictures on the walls, scenes from movies he liked, the godfather, charlie chaplin, nothing controversial. Black piano on the left side. He had taken it from home after moving out, his black belt in Taekwondo framed on the wall above it.   
  
It was okay, what was he even worrying about? Maybe it was strange because his studio felt much more intimate than his apartment and Hyungwon was about to come here and leave traces. Everything would smell like him, feel like him and remind Hoseok that the lawyer managed to kick in the last door.   
  
Hoseok grabbed the phone, panicking and thinking about calling Hyungwon to tell him meeting outside was better, as his ears registered a permanent knocking noise coming from the door behind him.

 **  
** ***

 

Taking another quick look at his phone to check whether Hoseok had answered him yet Hyungwon stretched out his long legs under his desk and shifted in his chair. He had been writing a correspondence in the name of a celebrity who wanted to sue a young man she had sex with for defamation. The poor guy hadn't really said anything bad enough to be worth suing for but she wanted to scare him enough to get her nudes back. Very familiar situation.

Hyungwon was amazed by the types of circumstances that forced one to meet people. Had Hoseok not been stupid enough to get his dick photographed they probably wouldn't have met and Hyungwon wouldn't be thirsting after a muscular man instead of feeling securely heterosexual. Most likely he would have continued being more interested in work than anything else and eventually found himself another petite girlfriend that was an amazing cook and looked good in his shirts.

Hyungwon sighed as soon as his phone vibrated and Hoseok pointed out, definitely not subtly, that he would like to place Hyungwon on his work desk, naked. What it was that he wanted the lawyer to do on that desk he didn't say, but the Hyungwon was pretty sure that he could imagine. It definitely didn't belong into the office and he definitely wasn't thinking about it. Nope. Standing up and placing a few forms into the ‘finished’ heap on his right he grabbed his briefcase and took the elevator down to his car. Luckily there were no journalists waiting this time.

Arriving at the beauty that was his BMW he answered Hoseok that he'd be there and the other man answered him that his studio was as clean as his thoughts. Hyungwon laughed out loud and hoped that Hoseok’s sarcasm was concerning his thoughts and not his studio. He really hated it when things were dirty and piggish, unless he was fucking angry and doubted his sexuality. That's when he didn't give a shit anymore.   
  
Typing the address of Hoseok’s studio into his navigation system he sighed at the short distance and mentally asked the environment to bear with him for today. Without thinking too long Hyungwon listened to what his body was craving for and arrived at spicy chicken. He didn't give a shit whether Hoseok wanted to eat Ramyeon, since that type of artificial food was unhealthy and for students. The lawyer was not eating ramyeon unless he had a depressed Changkyun on his couch or wore a poor excuse for clothing while sitting on the stairs like a hobo.

_Hyungwon, you want to eat spicy chicken. How the fuck is that any healthier?_

Maybe he just wanted to _not_ follow what Hoseok told him to do for once. Ignoring his voice of reason Hyungwon parked in front of his favourite chicken place, got about four servings cause Hoseok looked like he ate a lot and drove the last two minutes to his studio.

Finally arriving at the gigantic glass building Hyungwon envied Hoseok for all those beautiful views he must have no matter where he was. The panorama from his apartment had been pretty enough to convince Hyungwon to move there and he despised sharing space, especially with people that woke him up way too early (luckily he never had anyone stay over). He parked his car in a underground garage belonging to the building and was a little intimidated by the security people standing around it. Entering through the circular doors he walked over to the security guard and introduced himself. Receiving a timid nod in response the security guard just led him to an elevator and pressed a number. The service was no joke.

When he finally saw the letters ‘Wonho’ on a black door at the end of the hallway he knew he was in the right place and out of place at the same time. What was he even thinking? Their relationship wasn't really at the stage of visiting each other at work and what the hell was their relationship anyway? If it was sexual the lawyer should be taking his peaceful one week break and call Hoseok when it was over instead of coming to his studio to eat fried chicken. Hyungwon really didn't know whether the other man could refrain from provoking his libido. He sure as hell hoped so. 

Thank god eating chicken was everything but sexy, so Hyungwon didn't have to be worried about rocking a boner inappropriately.

Taking a deep breath and getting himself under control he knocked on the door, three times. Nothing happened.

_Okay, fuck this then._

He just started knocking non stop until something happened, this was a music studio after all.   
  
The lock let out a combination of beeping noises, someone must have typed a password from the inside. Hoseok’s hand appeared in the door gap waving Hyungwon inside the room.   
The other man was wearing black ripped jeans, a black-red striped silk shirt, hugging his chest and arm muscles tightly, black hair styled up so you could see his forehead. Fucking sin, Hyungwon only came for a snack and that snack wasn't supposed to be Hoseok. The other man looked like a celebrity. An exceptionally hot celebrity.  
  
Hoseok looked at him with a strange expression on his face, probably realizing he didn’t bring Ramyeon. “What? I thought we had agreed on our roles already. I'm the Majesty so shouldn't I decide what we eat?” Hyungwon waved around the plastic bag with chicken in front of Hoseok’s face and took a look around.

The whole studio had a much more personal feel than he had expected. There was a picture on the wall of a woman holding a grinning three year old to her chest and smiling at the camera. The similarity between both people on the picture and the man in front of him made it easy to assume it was his mother. She was exceptionally beautiful, hair raven-black and red summer dress adorning her shoulders. More pictures, most of them scenes from movies, covered the walls. On the side was a Taekwondo black belt and Hyungwon realized that when he pissed off Hoseok in the future he should keep the belt in mind. Kissing the ground wasn't really his thing.

He walked towards the middle of the room, occupied by a gigantic table and sat down on the side, which wasn't covered by a keyboard or other equipment. “Somehow I have the feeling that you usually don't have visitors here,” he said quietly, acoustics very clear because of the room arrangement.

“Why would you think that?” Hoseok was genuinely surprised. Hyungwon took another look at the small parts of Hoseok’s life, covering the walls and cupboards in the studio. He felt like he was intruding on something that he wasn't supposed to see.

“Your mother is so beautiful that I would keep her for myself,” he said instead and smiled at the other man. His mother was indeed very beautiful.

Hoseok looked at him with huge eyes dropping himself on his desk chair that looked like it was worth a couple of thousands. “Thank you. And yeah you're the first person here,” Hoseok said while smiling shyly. Hyungwon couldn't hide the shock. How could he be the first person there? They didn't even know eachother that well. It was strange and slightly uncomfortable, as if he really shouldn't be there. Hoseok looked like he was genuinely home, relaxed and surrounded by things he liked. Even his smile was different, brighter, almost like when he was talking about why he created music. Hyungwon wanted to see him work.

“Are you trying to tell me that Changkyun didn't manage to squeeze his ass through that tiny gap in the door?” The lawyer really couldn't believe that Hoseok hadn't let anyone in before. Not a good friend? Maybe a previous lover?

“I don't open even if someone knocks. I realized that only after you were already in front of my door, but it doesn't matter because you're already here.” Hoseok sighed and opened the package with the chicken. It was enough to feed a whole family so he shouldn't complain. Hyungwon still couldn't believe that he was the first visitor though. Also, why would Hoseok open the door for him if he never opened it for anyone before?

“Not even a previous lover? Or your mother?" he couldn't help asking.

“My mom is in Korea so I only visit her, she never comes here. Lover? What do you mean?” Hoseok looked at him not understanding what he was asking. Of course he wasn't. How could Hyungwon forget that the concept of dating was most likely a foreign one to Hoseok. Probably he didn't keep anyone for more than a night. The lawyer felt angry all of a sudden but ignored it. It was more at himself than at Hoseok.

“Dating, Hoseok. That thing you do when you regularly see someone you like, you know?” He rolled his eyes.

Hoseok looked hilarious with that drumstick in his hand looking at Hyungwon as if he said he had some nasty STD, which he didn't.

“I dated before Hyungwon. I think the last time was three years ago and no, she wasn't here. Why would you think I don't know…?” Hoseok looked hurt.

Hyungwon grinned to cheer him up. Their dating experiences weren't too far apart, just that Hyungwon didn't fill the time afterwards with one night stands. “Because you asked ‘Lover’ so surprised, like a three year old. I just thought that a lover might be close enough to show your favorite place. My last relationship was also about two years ago, not too far off from yours.“ Hyungwon didn't have to say that but Hoseok still looked a little sad and he had a tendency to look happier when Hyungwon shared stuff. Maybe he liked collecting blackmail material. That sounded like a very intelligent thing to do.

“So how was the evening with Changkyun?” Hoseok looked away, obviously trying to change the direction of the conversation.

Surprised by the topic change Hyungwon reached for a drum stick and placed it in his mouth, gaining more time to think. Once he removed most of the meat from the bone he cleared his throat. “Really nice actually. He bribed me with my favorite ice cream and snacks and did a movie marathon with me, without asking any unpleasant questions like a smart puppy.” Hyungwon grinned around the drum stick that he placed back into his mouth to get the rest of the sauce.

“Cute.” Hoseok smiled to himself. “Are you done with your schedule for today, or are you just out for a super late lunch?” he asked, placing the bones into the plastic bag.

The lawyer seriously contemplated whether he should lie and that depended completely on why Hoseok was asking. No bait no answer. “Why do you ask?”

“Why don't you just answer?” Hoseok was one attentive motherfucker.

Hyungwon smirked. Fine then he was going to throw the bait. “Because based on your reason the answer could be different.” He took a tissue to clean his hands, removing excess oil. Three drum sticks were sufficient for now, since that shit was oily and he had been lucky not to get any on his suit. He readjusted his suit pants and shifted on the table. It definitely wasn't made for sitting on it.

Hoseok cleaned his hands slowly, gaze glued to a spot on the table. “Interesting, well I'm done for today and I thought about not having any further plans and asking you about yours, because you happen to sit here gracing me with your glory.” Hoseok caught his eyes. Shit, was this an innuendo? It was definitely a hint at wanting to hang out, that's for sure. Fuck work...but Hyungwon didn't want to seem easy either.

_Did you really just decide to fuck work Hyungwon? Go to the fucking hospital. It's serious._

“Well,” Hyungwon began, stalling for time. “That might again depend on what you would like to do and if it's worth ditching a celebrity for.” Just to meet another celebrity apparently. Hyungwon had no intention to meet his client today but Hoseok didn't need to know that.

The other man leaned back in his chair demonstratively spreading his legs directly into Hyungwon’s face, head leaning on the palm of his hand. “What would his Majesty like to do?” Hoseok smirked, that asshole.

 _Fuck._   
  
His Majesty wanted to sit on Hoseok’s fucking lap, kiss him like there is no tomorrow and forget what he told him about a week long refractory period of his libido. _Shit_. But two people could play this game. Hyungwon sat up further on the desk and also spread his legs, less demonstratively though. “I remember you saying something about my desk…,” he started trailing off. “I assume the same is the case for this one.”

“Fuck.” Hoseok hissed trying to suppress the sound but failing. Hyungwon grinned at the reaction, loving the way the other man looked, trying to remove his gaze from between Hyungwon’s legs, damp tension filling the room. It was crazy how they could eat chicken peacefully one moment and try to eat each other up with their eyes in the next.

Hyungwon breathed in and decided that he didn't give a shit. Unbuttoning his suit jacket he spread his legs further and asked ‘I guess we're staying here then?’ before dropping it to the floor.

Hoseok exhaled loudly burying his head in his palms for a couple of seconds.   
  
“Shit.” Releasing his head from the confinement of his hands the black haired sin jumped up and walked over to the desk. Grabbing the edge with both hands he placed himself between Hyungwon’s legs, surrounding him with his muscular arms. Leaning in as close as possible without kissing, Hoseok whispered against his lips. 

“You know exactly what kind of effect you have on me, don't you?” One arm curled around Hyungwon’s waist and pushed his lower body against Hoseok’s hips. “You think it's funny to provoke me, am I right?”

Hyungwon licked his lips and breathed in the air that was undoubtedly Hoseok. Funny wasn't the right word. Exhilarating, hot, breathtaking and mesmerizing, wanting to be completely engulfed in Hoseok’s arms was what he thought. Those words described it better but still didn't quite fit. The want he had for Hoseok was new to him. The mere thought of the other man near him caused him to yearn for release, desperately begging to be touched. In none of his relationships had Hyungwon been as invested as with whatever it was he had with Hoseok. The attraction bundled into an unbearable pressure in his groin and he felt like he would burst if he didn't feel the other man's skin on his.

His brain was already working on overdrive, trying to think simultaneously about ways to make Hoseok crack and do all those things to him he wanted to feel and at the same time stay sane and aware of what he was doing. It seemed impossible to achieve both, so Hyungwon had to choose one that would have to go.

“It doesn't matter whether I know what effect I have on you,“ he whispered back, lips grazing Hoseok’s ear and legs pressing him closer to his body. The rationality had to go. “As long as you touch me Hoseok.“

“Hyungwon, fuck, you're messing with my sanity.” Hoseok tightened the grip on his waist, breathing harshly. It was unfair how Hoseok was still able to fight, holding on to the edges of his self-control, not letting it slip past his fingertips while Hyungwon had already sunk under, beyond salvation. The lawyer leaned away a little and let his right hand travel over Hoseok’s arm, stroking along the muscles, over broad shoulders and cupping a sharp jaw. Hoseok was in no way the petite type of girl Hyungwon usually went for and how his sexual attraction split into two such completely different types was a mystery to him. Hoseok was a mystery to him, one that he wanted to touch and kiss senseless.

Moving his other hand up Hoseok’s arm to his jaw he mirrored the action and held on to Hoseok’s beautiful face with both hands, the other’s arm still circling his waist, long legs holding the strong body close to his own. “Tell me how much you want me.“

Hoseok snapped, strong arms pressing Hyungwon’s body closer and hands pushing him up. Holding Hyungwon in the air, the other man turned and pressed himself against Hyungwon, the lawyer’s back hitting against the wall.   
  
“I want you so much that I'm afraid of myself,” his low voice groaned into Hyungwon’s ear, a hand drawing the line of his thigh. Not much had happened and Hyungwon was already hard. It was mental how much he enjoyed it when Hoseok manhandled him, driving him mad with little touches and caresses that he blessed him with and torturing with the ones he denied.

Sliding his hands from Hoseok’s face to his neck, increasing his hold on the other man and stabilizing himself, Hyungwon tightened his legs even further, yearning for friction he couldn't get. “Let being afraid of you be my worry and not yours,” he murmured, hoping to be reassuring enough. After all it was Hyungwon's decision what he regretted in the end and what he didn't. If he decided that being infatuated with Hoseok and his body was something he wanted then he could still regret the way he went against his principles and had a sexual relationship later on. Right now he wanted the other man and that's what mattered.

Hoseok grinded his hips into him, pressing him harder against the wall, biting the tender skin of his neck, muscles flexing against his body from the effort. Hyungwon moaned at the contact, trying to get him even closer and being disappointed at the futile attempts.

“Are you though? You don't seem afraid of me.” Hoseok emphasized his words by pressing his hips further into Hyungwon’s body.

The lawyer groaned in his face without meaning to. Turning his head to the side, seeing a few more photos and feeling a little weird at the intimate location, he closed his eyes. “I didn't say that I'm afraid of you Hoseok. Just that you should let it be my worry,” he whispered, solely concentrating on the way Hoseok’s hands were holding him up and how firm the other man's body was under his palms.

Hoseok’s fingers started fumbling with the buttons of Hyungwon’s shirt, opening one by one, hissing a breath with every piece of skin that became more visible. Hyungwon was mesmerized by the look on the producer's face. Seeing him in his studio, eating him up with his eyes, like a child that got it's favourite candy for Christmas. Shit, Hyungwon loved being that candy. “Don't just look, touch me,“ he whispered, observing how Hoseok’s facial expressions rearranged, obviously enjoying it when Hyungwon spoke like that.

The other loosened his grip and let Hyungwon’s legs touch the ground again. A nasty smirk appeared on Hoseok's face as he walked backwards dropping himself on the chair. Hyungwon couldn't help the disappointed huff when his legs hit the ground. Maybe he should have just let him watch.

“Undress.” Hoseok tilted his head to the side and moved his gaze up and down Hyungwon’s body.

_Fuck._

Hyungwon remembered perfectly when he had said the exact same words before. In Hoseok’s bedroom and Hyungwon had put on a slow show, not willing to follow the request just like that. Hoseok was going to suffer the same fate now, that was for sure. The lawyer's suit had lots of ways to open it without showing too much skin. He moved his right hand over his shirt-cladded arms, sinking over his shoulders to his naked chest, buttons out of the way and abs showing. Had he not seen the way Hoseok reacted he'd have probably stopped, feeling uncomfortable and too thin compared to the muscular man in front of him. He moved the shirt past his shoulders next, but still left it on, pooling at his elbows and slipping over his hands, only half of his fingers visible beneath the cuffs.

Hoseok didn't move an inch. Hands on the armrest, knuckles white from the effort. His eyes were glued to Hyungwon’s body, observing every movement. Only the strained breathing gave out what Hyungwon’s actions were doing to the black haired man.

Seeking courage from the irregular huffs of air of the other man Hyungwon left his shirt the way it was and let his hands glide over his chest and abs, one hand disappearing under the waistband of his suit pants, brushing his erection and evoking a hiss from his own lips. Touching himself in front of Hoseok was probably very borderline, but Hyungwon couldn't help giving himself a squeeze and almost moaning out loud at the sensation, one hand still roaming his chest and abs. The pleasure almost forced him to forget watching Hoseok’s reaction. After all the show was for him.

“Fuck you're being so good to me.” Hoseok looked seconds away from jumping up as the muscles on his thighs flexed and relaxed at every movement of Hyungwon’s hand. “Get rid of those fancy clothes, I need to see you naked, now.” Again Hyungwon felt transported to a month ago when Hoseok had said something very similar to him, stealing his breath away and making him do things he would have never imagined himself doing. Had someone told him he would be standing in the production studio of a man, half shirtless and hands down his pants, teasing himself, he would have laughed in their face and cussed them out.

But here he was touching himself, pinching his nipple with his left hand and teasing his dick with minimal strokes with the other. Listening to Hoseok’s request he forced himself to stop moving his hand and unclasped the tailored suit pants, letting them slide down his legs and pool on the floor. Leaving his nipple be, he pushed both thumbs under the waistband of his trunks, slipping them down and standing naked in front of Hoseok. Only his white shirt covering his underarm and partially his fingers, hanging loosely around his hips, remained.

Hyungwon didn't only feel like a candy with the way Hoseok looked at him. He had acted like candy and there was nothing he wanted more than Hoseok’s lips on him, consuming him in his entirety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, the next update is gonna come tomorrow. Please stay hard until then ;DDDDD
> 
> Feel free to talk to us on Twitter!
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> Hichanchen: https://twitter.com/Hichanchen  
> Smut_Hemingway: https://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway


	15. 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "What will the weather be like tomorrow?"  
> "They said wet. Simply wet."  
> \- A little anecdote from our Scotland trip.

Hoseok had the feeling it was a genuinely bad idea to let Hyungwon into his studio. Especially after all those questions about other lovers coming here. No-one had ever been in his studio. He loved being alone and he didn't want people to see his most private place. Furthermore he had to keep the security tight because of millions worth of copyright stored on his multiple hard drives.

But then there was Hyungwon, sitting on his work desk looking like fucking sin while eating a drumstick and laughing at Hoseok for not bringing other people there. He thought about showing him some music, if Hyungwon was interested of course, that's why he asked for the lawyer's plans, but this sneaky asshole just sat there in his illegally tight suit pants, smiled at him and returned the question. Hoseok was a little scared of himself for feeling the need to make Hyungwon beg on his knees in front of him.

Actually it was even worse. The other man got rid of his suit jacket demonstratively, looking at him while licking his lips. He had fun, Hoseok could see that the other was enjoying the effect he had on him.

How was it even possible to escape or ignore the tension that built up in seconds between the two of them? It was like a reflex he couldn't control and Hyungwon seemed to be victim of the same condition. The other man provoked reactions Hoseok didn't know before, the difference between Hyungwon’s asshole personality and his needy state when he melted under Hoseok’s touch was something that made him desire the lawyer even more. He wanted him so much.

_Too much._

A couple of words were exchanged back and forth and Hoseok found himself pinning Hyungwon against the wall, hips between the lawyer’s long legs, biting his neck, suppressing the need to leave a bite mark, so everybody would know that he was his.

That he wished Hyungwon was his.

Hoseok broke the contact unwillingly. He wanted to see Hyungwon touch himself in front of him, being so fucked out that he'd beg for Hoseok’s caresses moaning his name. He sat down in his chair, clutching onto the armrest to hold his pathetic leftover of control in place.

“Undress.”

It felt as if Hyungwon was perfectly aware of what would make Hoseok go absolutely nuts. The lawyer stroked himself slowly, fingers gliding over the velvety skin, teasing Hoseok, not taking off his shirt but moving his hands into the suit pants instead. Every movement ripped a tiny piece out of Hoseok’s carefully built up sanity, his muscles flexed at every blink of Hyungwon’s eyes. He was so hard that it hurt.

Hoseok’s low groan had the wanted effect and Hyungwon took off everything but his white shirt. It was hard to express what Hoseok felt seeing Hyungwon leaning against the wall, black bangs falling on his forehead, wearing nothing but a white shirt loosely hanging at the level of his hips. If the ethereal being in front of him pulled out a knife and stabbed him, he'd thankfully bleed and die.

 _Please_.

“You will be the death of me, Won.” 

Hoseok whispered overwhelmed by the beauty and the pain that flushed through his body at the inhumane tension, making it so hard to breathe. He was caught in between his wish to see Hyungwon touch himself in front of him and dropping on his knees in front of the beautiful man telling him he'd do everything the other wanted.

“And now, touch yourself for me.” Hoseok managed to press out of his strained lungs, fingers white from the effort of holding onto the armrest, forcing himself to stay seated, every cell of his body screaming at him to jump.

The lawyer moved a hand through his bangs, uncovering his forehead and concealing his beautiful body with the loose shirt, just to slide the hand over his shoulders and down his chest and abs like he had before.

As if he knew that it wasn't the touching Hoseok meant, he grinned at him, strands of hair covering his eyes again at the motion. Hoseok wasn't sure he could handle the torture that Hyungwon put him through, he wanted to touch and kiss every spot on the lawyer's body and the fight against the pain in the pit of his stomach was almost lost.

Hyungwon wanted him to die, obviously. He leaned completely against the wall, head thrown back, uncovering his neck and slowly slid down the wall, bit by bit. As soon as he hit the ground his hands moved between his legs, shirt covering all the skin Hoseok wanted to see. Increasing the rush of blood to Hoseok’s crotch Hyungwon slowly spread his naked legs, smooth skin visible but groin hidden by his crossed shirt-covered hands. It was like a personified wet dream.

Hoseok couldn't feel his hands anymore. He never wanted anything more in his life, Hyungwon sitting there burning the rest of his rationality was too much to handle. His hands went to the buttons of his silk shirt opening them slowly with shaky fingers, eyes glued to the devil in the white shirt.

Hyungwon felt more motivated by his reaction as he was doing something that Hoseok couldn't really see, but could very well imagine, moaning and biting his lip. Hoseok was able to recognize the way the white shirt moved with Hyungwon’s arm, eyes still closed in bliss and mouth open. Lips full and so red in contrast to his beautiful face.

Sliding the opened shirt down his shoulders, Hoseok stood up from the chair and closed the distance dropping on his knees in front of Hyungwon. He cupped the lawyer’s face with both hands, placing kisses on his forehead, cheeks and nose, whispering quietly.  
  
“I can’t handle you, I can’t live without touching you, fuck, what am I supposed to do now?” His hands raked through Hyungwon’s hair, his eyes absorbing every tiny bit of the overwhelming sight, his nose sucked in the other man’s intoxicating scent. He smelled like oak and honey. Hoseok wanted to lick and bite and kiss every spot on his body.  
  
“Touch me then,“ the lawyer whispered, lip still between his teeth and right hand moving subtly, not stopping despite Hoseok’s presence. His legs were spread wide enough to fit Hoseok easily, body still partially covered by the shirt, denying Hoseok’s eyes.

Hoseok remembered something that painted a smile on his face. He coated his fingers in saliva putting them into his mouth one after the other observing Hyungwon’s reaction carefully.

The lawyer stopped the movement of his hand abruptly, watching him intensely, big eyes focused on his and lips puffy from biting them. His gaze moved back and forth between Hoseok’s coated fingers and his crotch, being absolutely adorable. His face was blushed, obviously strongly affected himself by what he was doing, mouth opening and closing, as if he wanted to say something but decided not to.  
  
“What? Don’t want me to touch you anymore?" Hoseok smirked while putting another finger in his mouth and sucking on it gently. The look in Hyungwon's eyes became more determined and he uncrossed his arms, crotch still covered by fabric though. “Do it,” he ordered loud and clear.  
  
“Then be a good boy and stand up.” Hoseok needed to have Hyungwon naked on his desk for world peace. He helped the lawyer to get into a vertical position again and lifted him up, strong arms holding onto Hyungwon’s thighs and ass firmly, one hand still wet from the saliva, carrying him to the desk.

“Did you lick your hand just to touch my ass with it Hoseok?" the lawyer asked and the judgement on his face was no joke.   
  
“Why, want to know how it would feel like inside of you?” Hoseok was not joking. Hyungwon could pack his sassy mouth away. He was not amused, short breathed and ready to snap.

Hyungwon's expression stayed determined. “Only when I have proof that it actually feels good. On you.” He was being dead serious, but he also didn't say no explicitly.

Hoseok was shaken up and looked at the other as if he mentioned someone's death, thankfully mind coming back after a couple of moments of staring at Hyungwon. He captured the lawyer’s lip with his teeth only to let it go after a second. “When you’re at my place next time. I will show you what you’re missing out on.” Hoseok didn’t have much time to think about the strange things coming out of Hyungwon’s mouth as the lawyer was sitting naked on his desk, looking like a five course meal.  
  
“Now you lick them, as everything was in vain.” Hoseok pulled his predator gaze and waved his hand in front of Hyungwon’s face.

The lawyer stared at Hoseok as if he had just spit in his face before that soft vulnerable expression returned to his features. Eyes big and looking slightly unsure about what he was doing, he leaned forward and closed his mouth around Hoseok’s index finger, tongue circling around it and sucking intensively before he let it leave his mouth. Hyungwon smoothly moved to the next digit until all of them were coated in saliva and Hoseok wished it wouldn't have been his fingers. The tension was eating him up from the inside and he couldn’t help but moan in the lawyer’s face while the other man was sucking on his digits like the sadist he was.   
  
“Fuck I feel like dying. Seriously, stop.” He didn’t want to come in his pants because of someone sucking on his finger. That was really too much. His hand went down and wet fingers curled around Hyungwon’s length that never felt that hard before. One hand stroking the lawyer’s dick, the other in his hair, pulling the head back to give access to Hoseok’s lips and teeth biting and sucking the tender skin of his neck, chest and shoulders.

Hyungwon melted in his hands like a popsicle, hands moving up to hold onto him and giving Hoseok proper access to his body, moaning incoherently and eyes closed.  
  
“Fuck, you’re being so good to me today, maybe I should reward you with something. What do you think?” Hoseok continued applying pressure and evoking moans out of the lawyer’s mouth that went directly to his dick, twitching painfully in his tight pants. He never knew he would hate tight pants until he met Hyungwon.

“Shit, yes Hoseok. Please -” the lawyer gasped uncontrollably, hands pulling stronger at his arms, trying to get him closer. “Please reward me.” One of his hands tried to reach back, accidentally hitting the piano and playing a low chord through the whole studio.

How Hyungwon managed to hit a chord in his state, especially unintentionally was unclear.

“Damn you're talented,” Hoseok chuckled and dropped to his knees, kissing Hyungwon’s inner thighs. “Now listen well, I will take you in my mouth, and then you pull my hair if you're close and you'll get your reward.” Hoseok wanted to make absolutely sure that he was not the only one who remembered this whole situation. Hyungwon chuckled.

“Hoseok, I'm pretty sure I'll pull your hair as soon as you get anywhere close to my dick. How am I supposed to differentiate?” He looked fucked out and breathless sitting on Hoseok’s work desk.

“Shit I want to come just from looking at you. Whatever, then do something different to let me know, I don't care.” Hoseok wasn't up for discussions and licked over the tip slowly applying pressure with his tongue, fingers buried in the lean thigh muscles. Luckily that effectively shut the other man up as he moaned, threw his head back and hands gripped his hair in a fluent motion.

Breathing paired with all kinds of sounds filled the acoustic space as Hoseok pulled every move out of his skilled tongue just to hear those moans that bordered on screams. His hands were all over Hyungwon’s body, every inch that was reachable from his position. He wanted to give the beautiful person falling apart under him everything he could.

Hyungwon was close very quickly, Hoseok could tell from the way his lower body tensed and hands tried to remove his head from the lawyer's cock. “I'm close,“ he breathed although Hoseok could already tell. The other man had been probably more affected by his own stripping and Hoseok watching him than he let on.

He quickened his movements, tongue circling around the tip. Sucking harshly he put his thumb directly under Hyungwon’s balls and pressed down. The lawyer squeezed his hand over his mouth immediately and screamed against the skin, barely audible for Hoseok, releasing himself in his mouth.

Hoseok swallowed down and helped Hyungwon ride out his orgasm, releasing him after the oversensitivity became obvious. He placed small kisses all over the lawyer’s lap and stood up propping himself up on the desk.

“You're beautiful, you know that?” He couldn't keep it for himself. The things Hyungwon made him feel were too much to keep silent. The lawyer looked up at him, eyes half lidded, chest rising and falling quickly and open white shirt covering part of his chest.

“Thank you. So are you,” he answered, closing his eyes again and putting his weight on one arm, other reaching out to play a few notes on the piano next to him. He looked shy as if talking about him being beautiful was strange and he preferred to distract Hoseok with random piano playing.

“No need to thank me. I'm trash for you.” Hoseok smiled and traced Hyungwon’s sharp jawline with the back of his hand.

Fuck, he was so in love. It wasn't even funny anymore, laughing about being emotionally invested with a straight person. He was so hooked that he had him naked on his work desk, in his studio no-one was allowed to enter before. Hoseok let out a sigh, closed his eyes and felt his chest clenching painfully realizing the dimension of the damage.

He turned around and went to the chair to put on his shirt.

 

***

 

Hyungwon couldn't breathe. Hoseok took every sensible thought he could formulate and replaced it with the uncontrollable desire to have the other man close to him. Sitting on the Hoseok’s work desk, losing his mind and being unable to focus on anything but the way the other's hair felt in his hands and mouth on his cock, Hyungwon felt beyond euphoric. Hoseok sucked his soul out and wasn't intending on ever giving it back.

Hyungwon was worried of never being able to forget the effect Hoseok had on him if the other ever decided to drop him and move on without him. He felt strangely emotional and affected, having the other man take care of him and telling him how much he drove him crazy.

 _But what if that changed_?

Hyungwon wasn't sure he could deal with not seeing the other man at this point.

If Hoseok had wanted to fuck him as he had sat on the ground begging for the other man to satisfy him he would have let him do it. He would have let him do fucking anything.

Hoseok eliminated every wall that Hyungwon built between them, inviting him to his studio, showing him something no one else had and doing things to him that his body never experienced. Hyungwon had never been this hard in his life, body tingling so much it was almost painful. Every touch of Hoseok’s tongue was like a miniature orgasm ripping through his lower stomach.

When he was close he tried pulling Hoseok’s hair as he had asked him to, muscle strength leaving him and hips jerking. That's when Hoseok did something unexpected. He pushed something and the sensation was so intense that Hyungwon had to push a hand in front of his mouth to not scream through Hoseok’s studio in oblivion, closing his eyes and letting Hoseok take care of him, sucking out the rest of his orgasm and finally letting go when the sensation became painful. He had never experienced such an intense orgasm before.

“You're beautiful, you know that?” Hoseok asked him, mustering him while leaning against his desk and looking like the epitome of beauty himself. How could he be so tender and so harsh and dominant at the same time? It kept Hyungwon on the edge and unable to escape, like water that was pleasantly warm and kept getting hotter without you realizing, boiling you alive.

Again Hyungwon became aware that he was not close enough to Hoseok to be sitting in his studio and be called beautiful. The man should really look more at his own reflection before he admired Hyungwon.

“Thank you. So are you,” he whispered, feeling so vulnerable again, undressed and in an intimate situation with Hoseok. Something he wasn't really the right person for. Hoseok should have shown his friend, or his lover. Not whatever it was that Hyungwon was to him.

_You're neither Hyungwon._

Distracting himself and Hoseok from the situation he moved his fingers to the piano he had already accidentally played before, hitting chords of a melody that his mother loved singing to him when he was uncomfortable.

_Shit Hyungwon, you're a grown up. What are you even doing?_

He stopped playing immediately, even more ashamed than he had been before.

Hoseok thanked him for the compliment and stepped away, removing his warm skin from Hyungwon's and leaving him cold and embarrassed on the desk. Hyungwon hated it. Unaware of his struggles Hoseok just reached for his shirt, putting it on and shutting him out just as easily as he let him in. It hurt.

“Did I do something wrong?" Hyungwon couldn't help asking, still uncomfortably naked and cold on the table and voice sounding dangerously soft. Shit he had to keep himself under control.

Hoseok turned around and caught the expression right before it disappeared. He walked over slowly, cupped Hyungwon’s face with both hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “You can't do anything wrong, you're perfect. I'm the weird one.” Hoseok smiled and it looked so incredibly sad. Why was he constantly so sad? He had been the one rejecting Hyungwon.

“Won't you let me touch you Hoseok?" the lawyer asked, worried that Hoseok would deny him. “Please?” Shit, he sounded fucking desperate and genuinely begged Hoseok to let him. Fuck. It wasn't even that much of a deal. Hyungwon could have just reached out and touched him, taken his pants off, but here he was desperately asking for permission.

“You know that you don't have to. It's not obligatory only because I like you.” Hoseok paused and his eyes widened. “Like pleasing you,” he added in panic.

_Great, sure Hoseok. I won't misunderstand don't worry._

Hyungwon felt bitter again and wasn't sure why. Hoseok was reminding him of the fact that they had an unclear relationship and Hyungwon shouldn't get too attached. Hoseok was probably going to lose interest in pleasing him eventually.

He felt angry and pressed his naked legs together, trying to keep some of the warmth he felt a while ago. “I fucking want to touch you Hoseok. When will your brain finally catch up?”

“My brain is busy comprehending why someone like you would want that.” Hoseok smiled bitterly again. What the fuck was going on? The other man was at least nice enough to close the distance, putting his arms around him hugging him tightly and laying his head on Hyungwon’s shoulder.

“My dick likes you. A lot apparently. So why wouldn't I want to touch you?”

“You just came Hyungwon. Biology is hard I know, but your words don't make any sense.” Hoseok just kept his head on his shoulder, breathing softly into his neck. The moment was strangely sensual, Hoseok’s heartbeat clearly perceivable through Hyungwon's naked chest and breath tickling him. He didn't even feel angry at the other man dissing his biology knowledge seeing how upset he seemed.

“I don't need to be hard to want to please you. I like watching people feel good.“ Okay, maybe he shouldn't have said that so generally. It sounded like he got people off as a hobby which was as far from the truth as they were from a functional relationship. He kissed the top of Hoseok’s head and put his arms around him, distracting himself with the smell of the other man.

“You make me feel all kinds of things, what is this even…?” Hoseok whispered not for Hyungwon to hear, but the proximity made it easy to perceive. Taking the other man’s face into his hands he lifted it up to look him in the eyes.

“Tell me how to make you feel good Hoseok. I'll do it all.”

“You smell so nice. I want to breathe air that smells like you,” Hoseok said absentminded. His shirt was hanging loosely on his shoulders as he didn't manage to button it up. He just stood there looking at Hyungwon’s face in awe, unable to answer his requests properly.

_Fuck this Hyungwon, just go all out._

“Fine don't tell me then. I want to finger you.” Hyungwon just said the first thing that came to his mind, based on the two hours he had spent clicking himself through gay porn and switching between being mildly disgusted and amused.

_Fuck, what if he says yes?_

His heartbeat pumped out of his chest and he intently hoped that Hoseok couldn't tell, being as close as he was.

Hoseok started laughing. “Fuck why are you so cute?” His smile was genuinely beautiful, teeth white and checks puffy. “You want to please me? Then how about taking your hands and touching me first?” He lifted an eyebrow, clearly and honestly amused by the situation.

Hyungwon wanted to slap him. Every time Hoseok laughed at him he felt the bold need to prove him wrong and show him what he was made off. Take his breath and fucking steal it just like he had while undressing, preferably without being so affected himself. So affected that he had lost his shit.

“I am aware of that Hoseok. I just wanted to get my plans straight.” Without waiting any longer he kissed Hoseok’s lips with force, licking into the other's mouth while letting his hands roam Hoseok’s body slowly instead of the desperation with which he nibbled on his lips.

Hating the shirt separating him from more skin he interrupted the kiss to rip it over Hoseok’s head and preferably make it disappear forever. Loving the way the other man reacted to the ministrations he moved his long fingers down his abs and dipped them into the tight jeans, barely fitting them in and basking in the way Hoseok’s cock felt in his fingers.

The other man closed his eyes moaning so beautifully at every touch Hyungwon graced him with, stroking up and down the lawyer's back, muttering curses along the huffy moans. Deciding to speed the whole process along without making it any less enjoyable Hyungwon quickly licked over his palm, soaking it thoroughly without doing too much of a show and pushed it back into Hoseok’s jeans.

Then he had an idea.

“Fuck, Hoseok I love how your dick feels in my fingers, I wish I could feel it fill out everything as well as my hand,“ he whispered into the other man's ear, switching from regular strokes to teasing. He wanted Hoseok to lose his shit, but this time for his own orgasm instead of Hyungwon's. The man couldn't be so selfless all the time.

“Fuck, Won, fuck.” Hoseok groaned lowly and his fist hammered against the table. Well, look what we have there. Shin Hoseok is apparently really into dirty talk and it was the second time that he had called him by his nickname.

“Let's move along the list shall we? You filled up my hand, now you should fill up my mouth. You did that so fucking well last time,” he continued, removing his fingers from Hoseok’s jeans and unbuttoning them with one hand, freeing Hoseok’s erection from its confinement.

“Maybe we can even see what we do about that infatuation that you have with my fingers.” Hyungwon loved this, holy fuck. It didn't even really matter whether he knew what he was doing, he would eventually.

“Fuck what are you doing to me Won?” Hoseok was breathing heavily, eyes wide, not believing what was happening in front of them. He licked his lips multiple times as if they could've dried in two seconds and grabbed a fist full of Hyungwon’s hair, pulling his head back.

“You know exactly how to make me snap don't you?” Hoseok groaned. Hyungwon smiled, enjoying the way Hoseok pulled his hair and moaned at his actions.

“Maybe not yet, but I'm very willing to find out,” he answered, moving his thumb over the tip of Hoseok’s dick, playing with the slit repeatedly. Hoseok was served on his fucking plate, and he loved it.

“Open it.” Dominant, demanding Hoseok was back. And fuck Hyungwon was already his no matter what he asked. Opening his mouth obediently he slipped down from the desk to let Hoseok lean on it while he kneeled in front of him.

“Fill me up Hoseok.”

Hoseok grabbed his hair with the left hand, pulled his head back and let the tip of his dick slide along the plump lower lip with the right hand, licking his own lips and observing Hyungwon’s expressions carefully. 

“Damn your mouth is made for my dick,” he hissed. Knowing how good it would feel Hyungwon hummed in agreement, using the flexibility of his tongue to the fullest. He licked the tip and sucked up the length until he reached his limit.

Next he used his left hand to massage Hoseok’s balls and his right hand to stroke what he couldn't fit between his lips. Watching Hoseok’s expression he took a deep breath and tried to take his erection as far into his mouth as possible, feeling it hit the back of his throat and tears burning in his eyes despite no pain. It was an interesting sensation. Trying it again he hummed.

Hyungwon wanted the other to feel good and finally understand that he also enjoyed pleasing him. It was even more enjoyable when Hoseok cracked and started telling him what to do. Seeing him tug his hair and fight his instincts made the lawyer struggle with his wish to just forget his purpose and let himself go.

Another moan of his name reminded him why he was doing this. He let go of Hoseok’s erection with a pop and looked up. “So what about your infatuation with my hands?” He smirked.

“They’re nice.” Hoseok’s nasty smile was back. He looked down at Hyungwon tilting his head to the left and lifted an eyebrow.

Hyungwon fought an internal war to stay composed and managed. He had hoped this would be easier, but now that Hoseok was back to being dominant his lack of experience had returned to bite him in the ass. He moved his hands slowly up Hoseok’s thighs and sucked in the tip again before letting go and looking back at the other man.

“I told you that I'd like to see them inside of you. I remember you telling me once that you'd do everything I want.” That was indeed the truth. Hyungwon still remembered the desperation on Hoseok’s face when he had told him.   
  
“Hmm, nice idea, you spread legged on a desk fingering yourself was actually the second thing on the ’Things I need to see to be able to die in peace’ list. How can I let you if you can’t show me what your hands can do to yourself?” Hoseok’s eyes looked almost black and the hand was pulling Hyungwon’s hair gently while speaking.

_Holy fucking shit._

Hyungwon swallowed and tried not to panic. He had a job here and he wasn't going to lose just because Hoseok threw some nasty gay dictionary words at him. Shit it wasn't even the gay dictionary.   
  
_Get yourself together Hyungwon_.   
  
Licking over Hoseok’s dick again and sucking intently Hyungwon tried to buy more time for himself to process the fact Hoseok apparently had a list of things he wanted to see him doing. One of those things being Hyungwon fingering himself on a desk. Shit he couldn't do that just like that. He didn't even know if it was nice. What if he tried and hated it and Hoseok would see and fuck- he didn't want to disappoint the other.

“Fuck I want to but I'm fucking terrified Hoseok. What if it doesn't feel good?" he just blurted out, mouth leaving the other's cock and fingers digging into his thighs. The other man’s expression changed to something much more soft and understanding.

“Did you like your orgasm from before?” Hoseok asked while stroking his hair. Somehow Hyungwon felt a little like a child and at the same time taken care of and relaxed, the hand in his hair loosening his tension easily.

“Well duh, it's an orgasm Hoseok,“ he answered not understanding how that would have anything to do with it.

“But it was different wasn’t it? This time?” Hoseok pulled him up and curled his arms around him, his erection poking Hyungwon’s thigh.

Feeling less pressured Hyungwon hugged him back and leaned his head against Hoseok’s shoulder. He nodded.

“Mhm, I thought so, because I pressed a sensitive spot. It’s not as intense as from the inside, but it does feel nice.” The other man kept touching the skin of his back, arms and shoulders, gliding softly with the palm of his right hand. Hyungwon couldn't believe he was hugging Hoseok in his studio and listening to a lecture on the anatomy of male pleasure.

“Hoseok, still there is no way that I'd try that out with myself. I don't even bother masturbating if I don't absolutely have to. I'd rather get ravished or something,“ he murmured into Hoseok’s neck, enjoying how easy it was to just say what he thought as long as he was surrounded by the calming scent of the other man and didn't have to look at him directly.   
  
“Thoughts that consist of ravishing you in every possible position are making my life extremely hard these days, Won,” Hoseok whispered tentatively in his ear. “Listen, just try it at home, or I'll show you next time. Don’t stress yourself. Now back to me.” A smirk appeared on his face. “I want to see your face, while you sit on my lap and touch my dick.”

The air switched from relaxing and comforting to sexual in a few seconds. Hoseok’s gaze changed and so did the feeling in Hyungwon's groin. Feeling impatient he immediately lifted his head properly and bit Hoseok’s ear lobe.

“Shit I love sitting on your lap.”  
  
Of course Hoseok needed to manhandle him again. He lifted him up to show off his biceps and carried him to the couch, letting himself fall back and taking Hyungwon along. The other man was beautiful under him, thighs firm and eyes soft.

Hyungwon sucked in a deep breath, still tasting, smelling and feeling Hoseok everywhere and perceiving how he was already losing that little bit of control he had built up when he had wanted to jump Hoseok. He placed his legs comfortably on each side of the other man’s body and grabbed the other's erection in his fist. It was still leaking slightly and he licked his thumb to add to it and spread the mixture around, rubbing the area where his shaft transitioned into the tip.

“I could watch you for hours Hoseok. You're like a wet dream, you know that?" he asked with a smile and placed a light kiss on Hoseok’s lips.  
  
“I wanted to throw my whole life after you when you sat on the floor, wearing this white shirt, looking so beautiful. I knew I was doomed.” Hoseok smiled and it was so incredibly soft and tender. Hyungwon felt like his throat was constricted from the intensity that overcame him at Hoseok’s face. He wanted to kiss every spot, every eyelash and not let him go. It was pathetic considering how he was supposed to get him off and not get cheesy on his lap, still he couldn't help kissing his nose and his eyes, moving down to his lips and pulling his arms around the other man's neck, pressing him as close as possible while kissing tenderly.

  
“I have to call the woman to thank her, for taking this pic.” Hoseok chuckled, “I wouldn’t have met you if she didn’t.” He pressed Hyungwon closer and kissed him back. Shirt-clad arms circled Hoseok’s neck tighter.

It was amusing how both of them were in a different state of undress. Hyungwon still in his shirt and Hoseok with his opened jeans. If Hyungwon would have really wanted to he could have sat on Hoseok’s dick. Had Hoseok not mentioned that bitch he'd have even continued feeling happy and peaceful. He scoffed.

“I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention her in my presence. I still fucking hate that bitch for doing that just to see you again.” He slid further and placed his hips on Hoseok’s crotch. 

“She wanted to see me again? Why would she take a picture of my dick to see me?” Hoseok asked and his eyes widened.

Hyungwon needed to make him think about something else, _fast_. How could he be dumb enough to tell him about her himself?

Still sitting on Hoseok’s dick he pressed his ass down, adding some friction. “I have to admit your dick feels kinda nice against my ass,” he said hoping Hoseok would forget everything.   
  
_Bingo._

Hoseok moaned throwing his head back and clutching onto Hyungwon’s hips.

“You’re teasing me on purpose, aren’t you?” Hoseok’s grip felt like iron.

“For fuck’s sake Hoseok. I love your dick. I mean it. Shit, can't you just fuck my mouth again?” Hyungwon's mouth was faster than his brain, babbling out whatever he was thinking, memory of the way Hoseok lost himself in his mouth fresh in his mind. Shit he wanted Hoseok to do that everyday.   
  
“Whatever your majesty wishes.” The other man stroked Hyungwon’s lower lip with his thumb. Hyungwon could feel his crotch reacting to the thought of Hoseok sinking into his mouth, head thrown back and the way the other man looked at him as if he was the eighth wonder of the world.

Feeling the tingling sensation the lawyer couldn't help feeling incredibly embarrassed, especially while sitting on Hoseok’s lap and being fucking obvious. Shit. He wanted to take care of Hoseok, not get turned on by it himself. Pushing his face into Hoseok’s shoulder in a sudden but fluent motion he hoped to not be confronted.   
  
“I love it when you’re getting hard again after telling me your libido is nonexistent. I’ll take care of it later.” Hoseok pressed his body so close to Hyungwon’s that their erections rubbed against each other and the other man let out a low moan. Hyungwon hated being confronted about embarrassing situations but if this was the result he could deal with it.

“It's your fault for being attractive and knowing what I like,” he muttered after gasping into Hoseok’s shoulder at the contact.

“I could also just touch myself while you fuck my mouth,” Hyungwon suggested and wondered where the fuck his inhibitions went, shit. He couldn't just run around saying whatever came to mind. Fuck he even ditched work to mess around with Hoseok.

 _But it was so fucking worth it._   
  
“No, I want to touch you.” Hoseok had clear ideas about how he wanted it to be obviously.

“Whatever you want Hoseok. You haven't disappointed me yet,” Hyungwon whispered into his mouth, licking over Hoseok’s lips. Whatever Hoseok wanted to do with him he was up for it. As long as it didn’t include ignoring him for a few weeks.  
  
“Crawl on the carpet, on all fours and stay like that.” Hoseok pointed down to the pretty beige wool carpet on the floor. Hyungwon looked from Hoseok’s finger to the carpet and couldn't believe he was really about to do this. Changkyun would never fucking believe this, and he'll never fucking know.

_What the hell does he want you to do? Bark?_

Sliding down Hoseok’s legs, Hyungwon landed on the ground, rearranging his shirt and slowly moved to the carpet, on all fours as Hoseok told him to.

“And now master?" he asked but forgot the sarcasm. Hoseok eyed him while standing up and laid down in front of him, the face under Hyungwon’s, like in the spiderman movie. He kissed Hyungwon’s lips as if it was some kind of romantic comedy going on there and Hyungwon didn’t get shit. First he told him to crawl on all fours and now he was kissing him cheesily. Had Hoseok not been a guy Hyungwon would have honestly considered premenstrual syndrome.

Still he kissed back and licked over Hoseok’s lower lip. “And now?" he whispered looking carefully at Hoseok’s facial features. His hair was beautiful when it was black, eyes looking so much deeper and darker, skin even whiter in contrast.

There it was, the nasty as fuck smile, creeping up those beautiful features. Hoseok started moving backwards until Hyungwon realized Hoseok’s dick getting closer to his mouth, and Hoseok’s mouth getting closer to his own painful erection. Was Hoseok 69ing with him? In his studio? Holy shit.

Hyungwon fucking sucked at multi tasking.

“Shit if you blow me AND I'll have your gorgeous dick in my mouth I'm going to die Hoseok,” he exclaimed, still not believing they were about to do this.

“I thought the same to be honest, but I love dying, at least if it’s with you.”

Hyungwon couldn't help laughing, licking up a stripe on Hoseok’s dick without much delay.

“Don't push your self-destructive tendencies on other people,“ he reprimanded before deep throating Hoseok like there was no tomorrow.

Hoseok grabbed his ass and pushed him down into his mouth, sucking and licking, playing with the tip, using the grip on Hyungwon’s butt to put his dick deeper, moaning around it repeatedly. It was so intense, it felt as if everything around them was disappearing and only those unimaginable sensations spiking all over their bodies were left.

Hyungwon did his best to keep his mouth working, deepthroating Hoseok whenever possible and not losing his grip. Hoseok’s hands on his ass in combination with the skill that his mouth showered him with were unreal. Letting Hoseok’s erection slip out of his mouth he gave Hoseok a warning.

“If you don't stop I might burst soon,“ he forced out, voice unrecognizable and deep.

“I hope you’ll burst inside my mouth, I love the way you taste,” Hoseok moaned and took his dick even deeper in his mouth than before. Hyungwon couldn't think. It wasn't really a competition, but Hoseok always outlasted him every fucking time. Sometimes twice. Increasing his efforts he still couldn't help but spill into the other man’s mouth for the second time that day.

Still blissed out and voice barely working he licked the tip of Hoseok’s dick and mumbled ‘Can you please fuck my mouth now?’, hoping Hoseok would have mercy on his soul. More than one orgasm a day was intense and made his limbs feel like jelly, Hoseok was better off taking over.   
  
“I will do everything you want. I told you.” Hoseok crawled out, and let Hyungwon lie on the side. “I bet you can’t sit up,” he added with a smile.

“Fuck you,“ Hyungwon mumbled back, straining his arms and sitting up. “Your fault for orgasm raping people.” Hoseok was going to come into his mouth as a finish even if it was the last thing he did today.

Putting his dick in Hyungwon’s mouth, the moans filled the studio once again. The other man was so close that it only took a couple of thrust and he released himself with a loud groan of Hyungwon’s name. Dropping to his knees, but hugging the lawyer tightly, he let them fall down on the carpet together.

Hoseok kissed him again.

It was so hilarious and intimate at the same time that Hyungwon almost choked on the leftover cum in his mouth, wanting to get rid of it before kissing Hoseok but failing. When the other man let go of his lips he couldn't help but be surprised at the tenderness the other showed him after their sexual encounters. Hyungwon wasn't sure if that was how it was supposed to be.

Lying on the carpet and looking around, his eyes fell on the computer equipment and the piano he accidentally produced chords on.

“I'm not sure what else you were thinking of doing to me in your studio, but how do you feel about showing me some music?”

  
***

  
It was too late anyway, too late to act as if nothing had happened, as if he wasn’t in love with the straight sassy lawyer-asshole who ruined his sexual drive and who happened to be the most beautiful, vulnerable and sadistic person alive.

Hyungwon was ruining his life, knocking down every fucking door, and Hoseok himself stood there and watched all of this happening and smiled like a fucking idiot, showing him more doors, offering him his heart on a damn plate, equipping him with a fork and a huge ass knife so it could hurt more.   
  
_But not now._   
  
True, not now. Now he was bathing in Hyungwon’s attention, the inexperience and in his own superiority regarding some topics. Still everything kept reminding him of the fact that this was something he would have to give away again, like a toy someone gave you that became so precious that you forgot that it wasn’t yours in the first place.   
  
_Only that Hyungwon is not a fucking toy, but a human, a beautiful and amazing huma_ n. _Just be happy that he finds you more or less attractive. For now._   
  
Hoseok wanted Hyungwon to think that it was purely sexual, the same Hyungwon thought. He almost spilled the hot tea over his balls saying he liked Hyungwon, and exchanged it for liking to please him.

He couldn’t help bringing out the emotions stuck in his throat if Hyungwon was exceptionally beautiful, vulnerable, or ethereal, which, one had to be honest, was the case in 99% of the times he looked at him, talked to him or touched him.   
  
The lawyer knew exactly how to make him lose his mind. He learned so fast, how to curl him around those long fingers of his and play with him. But Hoseok tried hard to resist, to show him that he was more control when he lost it.   
  
If he couldn’t have him like this, he was going to make it sexually intimate. 69 was something he imagined doing with Hyungwon for so long, and the lawyer complied, crawling on all fours, fueling other fantasies Hoseok stored away for now.

Making the other thrust into his mouth with the movements of his arms brought Hoseok so much pleasure that he almost forgot his own when Hyungwon came in his mouth, mumbling something with that hoarse low voice of his.   
  
There was nothing that could have described what he felt, when he finally came between Won’s lips. He wished it would’ve been just sexual release, but it wasn’t. It was so much more and it kept developing, it kept growing, becoming so much harder to suppress and to ignore.

The associations enhanced. It was as if a new bundle of neurons was formed. It became more and more, everything was entangled with each other, Hoseok not being able to tell where it started to eliminate the root. It was too late.  
  
He wanted to be next to the beautiful man so badly, hug him and kiss him, touch his skin, entangle his fingers with his, without thinking about whether it was something appropriate to do, considering their relationship they didn’t even bother to define.   
  
“I'm not sure what else you were thinking of doing to me in your studio, but how do you feel about showing me some music?” Hyungwon showed interest in his work all of the sudden, lying naked on his carpet. He was always down for a surprise. Damn Hoseok knew he was doomed.   
  
“Sure, if I’m allowed to put on clothes before I accidentally operate the computer with my dick.” He laughed. Hoseok stood up and collected Hyungwon’s clothes lying around all over the studio. The lawyer seemed especially wild today and Hoseok loved it.   
  
“Here, put it on, although I’m really not sure about you being able to stand up and all of that. I love your weak body.” Hoseok couldn’t help but chuckle again.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and slipped his trunks on while still sitting on the ground. As soon as he was in his shirt, mostly buttoned up, and his trunks he apparently didn't give any shit to dress further, since he just crossed his legs and stared at Hoseok’s screen.

“Considering your carpet is comfy and all that I think I won't even risk it. You can show me like that right?” The lawyer laughed loudly. “You can of course also carry me to that fancy as fuck chair of yours.”

Hoseok loved him so much. Fuck.  
  
“You bet.” He pulled Hyungwon up grabbing the lean muscles of his thighs, which felt so nice flexing against his palms. How could he be so perfect like that? Hoseok placed him in the chair and handed him the pants. “Not that I want you to dress, because it’s basically the opposite of good, but I think you might feel more comfortable.”

Hyungwon laughed again and slipped his pants on, getting more relaxed in the chair.

“I don't want my ass to stick to your leather chair so thanks. Now blow me away with your skill.” Realizing the innuendo he grinned and added. “The other skill this time.”  
  
“I would say this skill is the reason I’m living.” Hoseok smiled at the other man and started clicking around his hard drives to find something decent to show. Hyungwon might have heard a lot of songs he composed, without knowing that it was his work, but Hoseok wanted to show him something special when an idea lit up his mind. He started the recorder and turned around to face Hyungwon.   
  
“Listen, could you snow me the melody you played before, when you tried not to blush?” Hoseok put the digital piano in front of the lawyer and looked at him in excitement.

Hyungwon appeared a little caught off guard but smiled back.

“I will pretend that I have no idea what you are talking about since I don't blush but I'll play you the melody.” He pulled himself a little closer to rest his long fingers on the piano comfortably, and actually took a proper stance, before playing a slow melody. It changed its tempo in between but was a mixture of sad and hopeful without one being able to tell clearly which part was which.

Hoseok loved it. He turned on the mixing machine and added a light snipping beat lying over it. Some cuban drums and a little reggaeton in the middle made the beat even better. That would be the hook part, Hoseok thought.  
  
“Holy shit, did you just use the melody as a song base?" Hyungwon asked. The lawyer was genuinely amazed and Hoseok couldn't help feeling proud at the recognition.

The sad melody captured something that he couldn’t quite describe. Hoseok clicked on the save button and typed ‘From Zero’ before storing the draft for later.

He really liked it somehow.

“Wanna show me something finished? Or something that occupies you a lot at the moment?" Hyungwon asked, still strangely interested and wanting to see more. Just like Hoseok had done he kept turning on the chair, looking excited.

“Yeah but please ignore my voice as I sing all the guides myself.” Hoseok blushed. He felt so stupid because he actually didn’t have any reason to do so, but Hyungwon listening to his singing voice was so strangely intimate, pronouncing those lyrics he wrote, about, well the song was kind of about his struggles with Hyungwon three weeks ago, fuck.

Hyungwon nodded and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Honestly, you haven’t heard me sing yet, so relax. I did it back in highschool when I was dancing. I was told that it's supposed to be cool. They lied to me, obviously.“

Damn another thing on his list to see before he could die in peace.

“Come here when you're really drunk and don’t care, I would really love to hear you sing some of my lyrics on a beat I made.” Hyungwon really cracked up this time, tears in his eyes and bending in half almost falling off the chair.

“Hoseok,” he started before another laugh flash hit him. “I sing even worse when I'm not in my right mind. Oh god. Bad memories. And I don't want to add another time to that one time I was drunk, with you. Furthermore I can't help imagining you writing lyrics about some weird shit while being drunk.” He laughed again and grinned at Hoseok.

“If you want to hear me sing you just have to ask _very nicely_.” Hyungwon emphasised the last syllable especially.

_This fucker._

“You'll do it no matter how I ask, don't bullshit yourself.” Hoseok smirked. “Either way I think your voice might sound really nice considering it's low timbre. You just need a song that fits.” Hoseok didn't lie, he was pretty sure Hyungwon’s voice was interesting.

“I want to see you dance again,” Hoseok commented without even thinking why he would say that in the first place. “And I might show you myself dancing. Let's go out to this bar from last time, the music was nice.”

_Hoseok, you fucking idiot, just shut the fuck up._

It didn't even take a second before Hyungwon threw a ‘sure’ his way.

“And now show me something finished.” He seemed very eager.

Finished. He got the last thing he did for Kihyun out and pressed play.

“Wait!” Hyungwon suddenly called, interrupting his thoughts. “Where is that guide where you sing? You're not distracting me Mr.”

Fuck, this sassy asshole needed the blackmail material badly. Hoseok got the other guide out and pressed play, face-palming hard at the strange feeling.

The feeling of intimacy.

Hyungwon was concentrated, facial features relaxed but eyebrows furrowed, listening intently. The index finger of his right hand was imitating the beat on his thigh. A small smile washed over his lips, staying until the end of the song.

“Wow,” Hyungwon simply said, still staring at the screen although there was nothing on it. “That made me feel something. Very much so and that alone is already impressive Hoseok. You're really talented. Please show me more.“ He turned to Hoseok, mustering him in detail and still in thought. “I really mean it.”

He had simply no idea what Hyungwon was talking about but still managed to turn on the next song. After Hoseok played the fourth song in succession Hyungwon cleared his throat. “I'm a little scared,” he said quietly. 

Why was he scared? What did he do wrong? He had no idea. _Shit._

“Did I do something wrong?” Hoseok was genuinely afraid that he fucked something up accidentally. Hyungwon laughed shortly, turning to him and shaking his head.

“It's just…” Hyungwon took a deep breath and a smile appeared on his lips. “I'm scared that you'll make me want to dance again. And that I'll regret the decision I made.”

Hoseok curled his arms around the other man. Ignoring everything his brain was screaming at him.

“Won, you're such an amazing lawyer, but you're also an amazing dancer. Just do both. I really, I really love this about you. The fact how you can combine so many opposite things in one mesmerizing personality.” Hoseok breathed into the lawyer’s ear. A pair of arms closed around him and Hyungwon buried his face in his neck, not saying a word.

How was he supposed to live like that? He wanted to cry just because Hyungwon told him something personal. His hand stroked the brown hair, fighting the urge to kiss the lawyer with all available resources.

“Hoseok?" Hyungwon whispered quietly into his neck.

“Yeah?” He wanted to make the other feel secure and protected, he wanted to stay like this forever, to kiss his forehead and tell him everything was going to be alright. Hyungwon breathed in.

“I'll probably pretend this never happened afterwards because I'm an arrogant prick but…thank you.”

A smile crept up Hoseok’s face. He felt so close to Hyungwon that it made him unreasonably happy.

“I love, no I really like you...being an arrogant prick.” Hoseok put a kiss on the lawyer’s forehead, not able to fight against it anymore. Hyungwon giggled at that.

“Thanks. That's the weirdest thing anyone ever told me except for ‘I think if a frog would turn into a prince it would look like you‘. But I'm happy that you like my arrogant self.“ Hyungwon sounded like he felt partially offended at the comment although he laughed at it.

“I mean you can't fool me, it's a nice shell, almost as nice as my fuck boy personality.” Hoseok laughed bitterly.

The lawyer stopped holding onto him and leaned away such that they could look at each other. He looked dead serious.

“Hoseok, how do you actually feel about one night stands?”

“I don't like it.” Brain didn't have much time to think over the consequences when Hoseok’s mouth just spit it out as if it was something foreign that needed to disappear from his insides as fast as possible.

“Why did you sleep with that woman then and also try to take that other one home, the one that was more breasts than anything else?” the lawyer asked, surprise evident in his voice. They were still hugging awkwardly on the chair.

“Because I needed to distract myself and my friend alcohol told me it was a good idea to keep my problems out of my mind.” Hoseok sighed. Of course it was stupid and he was fucking stupid.

“The other woman, with the pic, I don't remember. I just remember that she approached me and I woke up with her in one bed.” Why did he even mention the fuck boy personality? He wasn't a fuck boy, he was simply dumb.

Hyungwon's eyes had the size of sauce pans, staring at Hoseok as if he told him he could fly.

“So you actually don't randomly sleep with people?” he asked carefully.

He could understand Hyungwon being like this. Sure, taking care of a dick pic and cock blocking him must've left an impression.

“No, why should I? I just make music. I actually don't have time for stuff like that.” Hoseok didn't mean to sound busy but that was simply the truth. He just hung out in his studio and the only person he was meeting regularly was Kkung.

“Do you make exceptions?” Hyungwon asked while removing a loose strand of hair from his eyes.

“I'm not sure what exactly the question is here, but sure there are people I've slept with once. But it's always once and its mutual, and it's like once in a long while. Shit, I'm sorry for the impression I must've left on you.” Hoseok realized how bad that all sounded. Why was he even surprised at other people thinking insulting stuff about him.

Hyungwon didn't answer for a long time, playing with his fingers and looking around his studio.

“I see,” he said finally and stood up from his chair for the first time in a long while. He kept standing and took his jacket from under the table. “I'll get going then if you don't mind. I skipped out on work and will catch up a little at home.”

_Awesome, changing his opinion about you went well Hoseok. You're doing amazing sweetie._

“Sure, I'm sorry.”   
  
Hyungwon turned around at the door, staring at Hoseok intently, expression unreadable. His lips were in a straight line but his eyes had something sad, like an undefined mixture between angry and disappointed.

“What the hell are you sorry for Hoseok?”

The lawyer kept staring at him and he stared back. Thoughts rushed one after the other until he felt strangely calm smiling another smile that tasted like a punch in the guts, answering with the only thing that was on his mind.

“Everything you want me to be sorry for.”

Hyungwon just left the studio and door fell into the lock with a loud click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time it will take a little longer until we update. It will most likely be Sunday evening EST :)
> 
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> Hichanchen: https://twitter.com/Hichanchen  
> Smut_Hemingway: https://twitter.com/Smut_Hemingway


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As me and Hichanchen were on an amazing trip in Scottland over the weekend, we're a little late.  
> As always you can talk to us on Twitter, we also post updates there. (@Hichanchen and @Smut_Hemingway)
> 
> We really hope you'll like it.

The low heels of his leather shoes echoed through the empty staircase as Hyungwon ran down the stairs of Hoseok’s studio building, legs almost stumbling over the three steps he jumped over at once and hands grabbing the railing to catch himself. He took a deep breath, Hoseok’s last words repeating in his mind like the death announcement of someone close to you.

_‘I’m sorry for everything you want me to be sorry for.’_

_Shit._

Hyungwon let go of the railing and continued his descend, jumping over some more stairs before he finally arrived at the ground level, running past the security guard without acknowledging him and almost falling down some more stairs towards the garage where he parked his car. His hands desperately pressed the car key until the lights finally blinked and he threw himself into the driver’s seat, closing his eyes and throwing his head back.

 _Fuck_ , what had he done? He couldn’t even believe how dumb he had been. The sated state of his body and desperate disarray of his mind clashed agonizingly.

_He’s not a fuck boy Hyungwon._

_You are such an idiot._

He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but really didn’t want to explain his outburst to the security of the building and despite liking his car, he doubted that it was soundproof to such a degree. He gritted his teeth, pressed down on the gas pedal and maneuvered out of the garage.

No matter what he had told Hoseok he couldn’t work now. He wouldn’t have achieved anything anyway considering the state he was in. He needed to think, or preferably get punched and sleep until everything was over but regrettably that wasn’t an option. The 15 minutes that separated Hoseok’s studio from Hyungwon’s apartment were too little and he wished there was more space between them, not only physically. This whole thing swung completely out of his control and he let it happen, being an idiot and thinking he was the one suffering and making all the right decisions.

_Shit._

His throat clenched and eyes burned like fire.

He slid into his parking spot like an asshole, not leaving enough space on the side, but couldn’t get himself to give a shit either. Abusing the button on his car key he ran to the elevator, pressing the 14 and wanting nothing more than his pillow and the blissful lack of thoughts abusing his head.

The elevator paused in the middle, letting in two little girls chewing on candy and Hyungwon wished so badly he could be just as oblivious and just eat candy and forget everything including his fucking problems. The girls left him two floors before his and he held onto the available handrail with clenched fingers until the high tone signalled he had arrived.

He wanted to cry. He genuinely wanted to cry although he had no fucking right to cry.

Tearing open the front door and slamming it right back he slid along the wall of his hallway unable to keep himself upright anymore.

 _Shit_ , what was he going to do? He had been so dumb, he had just assumed that Hoseok was with him for the sex, convinced that he was getting what he could out of him until Hoseok dropped him eventually like all those other women. All those other women that didn’t exist.

_Fuck._

He had been a moron and all this time it wasn’t Hoseok treating him like shit but him stamping on Hoseok’s feelings like a fucking horse. Images of all the times that Hoseok told him how beautiful he was alternated in front of his inner eye. Hoseok touching his face, thumb moving over his lips, telling him that he was taking his breath away, mesmerizing him and eliminating his control.

Lips kissing his after both of them had come, touching him tenderly and hugging him like it was the best thing in the world. Hoseok breathing in his scent and losing himself in the feeling. Hoseok telling him he wanted nothing more than have Hyungwon close to him no matter how, afraid of how he would live once he wasn’t there anymore.

 _Shit_.

Hoseok had even told him he loved him, backtracking in the last moment and lying.

And Hyungwon had believed him.

_Like a fucking idiot._

He had just assumed without using his brain, thinking that it was absolutely okay to follow his strange homosexual fascination with Hoseok and considering it unconditionally okay to respond and continue until Hoseok would drop him on his own, even pitying himself at the thought of being left behind.

_Shit._

He must have been absolutely blind, drowning in his own self-pity and confusion. Hoseok had tried to stay away from him all this time, avoiding confronting him with his sexual desire and trying not to touch him, pushing him away and even changing his number, killing his body during the whole time they didn’t see each other.

Shit what had Hyungwon done?

He had ruined everything like a fucking wrecking ball. Hoseok had tried to get away from him and he just attached himself to the other’s body not letting him go like a selfish piece of shit. An asshole, only thinking about himself and ignoring the fact that he had been leading Hoseok on all this time.

_Fuck._

Bile rose in his throat at the disgust he felt towards himself. Changkyun was absolutely right, Hoseok was a fucking angel and he had been tearing wounds into him like a sadistic piece of shit.

_Fuck._

He jumped up, legs feeling like jelly as he stumbled to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Breathing heavily he grabbed some paper and cleaned his mouth, throwing it into the bowl and flushing quickly. Fuck, he had lost his mind. Still feeling sick he washed his face, looking at his reflection and wanted to punch it.

Hoseok had even apologized for telling him he wasn’t a fuck boy, as if he wanted to keep up the pretence, hurt that Hyungwon thought that way but not wanting him to leave.

Shit.

_What the fuck have you done Hyungwon?_

The devastated expression Hoseok wore as Hyungwon turned around and left the studio didn’t disappear from his inner eye. He had hurt him, again, sad smile on his lips and eyes lost. He had to repair it somehow, turn time back, make it the way it was supposed to be, both of them finishing the case and returning to their respective single workaholic life and not fixed on each other. In two different ways.

Hyungwon didn’t even know if he could get his attraction under control. God knows he had tried for a month while Hoseok had been probably trying to get over him himself, before Hyungwon popped up and confronted him, ripping his resolution to shreds.

He grabbed a toothbrush to get the repulsing taste out of his mouth, but it didn’t work, spreading in his mouth and reminding him of all those things he did wrong, pointing out how he was only interested in Hoseok’s body, forcing to other to touch him in desperation to keep him close.

Hyungwon wanted to vomit again, but controlled himself. He limped to his bedroom with difficulty and let his body fall to the bed, tears burning his skin and hands unable to open the buttons on his shirt. He was scared. He was so fucking scared. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do and how to fix everything. He couldn’t continue leading Hoseok on while basking in his attention. He had to stop this somehow, but he was so afraid that he couldn’t.

He was afraid that being so hooked on Hoseok would make it hard to escape while being forced to react to the other man, despite toying with his feelings, at the same time.

Shit, Hyungwon never had to deal with anyone being in love with him like this. Usually he didn’t give a shit and straight out denied them, but he didn’t know if he could. Especially not now. The adrenaline pumped through his veins, headache spreading into his shoulders and air felt like needles he was trying to breath in.

_Fuck._

_Hoseok is in love with you and you probably can’t let him go._

The tears ran down his face although he had no fucking right to spill them. He clutched onto the fabric of his blanket, breathing deeply and forcing himself to get his shit together. He was the asshole, he had no right to cry. Hoseok had a right to cry after he had to pretend to be an asshole just to keep Hyungwon around and Hyungwon had just believed every word, ignoring the voice of reason and basking in the other man’s attention.

The wish to drown himself in expensive alcohol spread through his thoughts like a disease, but the memory of Hoseok confused and desperate at his door stopped him. He had to keep his shit together.

_You have to stay away Hyungwon. For the both of you. You swallowing down your attraction is nothing compared to what Hoseok has to go through._

Hyungwon was attracted to a man and that man was in love with him and he had absolutely no idea what to do.

_Fuck._

As if acting on reflex his hands felt along his pants for his phone, finally finding it and pressing the number one, shivering and tears blocking his throat.

“Changkyun? I fucked up,” he sniffed into the phone, heart clenching agonizingly and wishing he could just die so the pressure in his chest finally stopped.

“Did you make someone cry at court again? But Won, you're living off other people's tears, you should be happy.” Changkyun shot out immediately. Hyungwon was still crying, not answering and trying to keep his sobbing quiet, but it was loud enough for his best friend to here.

“Okay calm down, it can't be that bad right? What happened?” The other seemed genuinely worried after hearing the sobs.

Hyungwon took a deep breath, begging his voice not to give up on him now. Changkyun would help, he would know the right words to say. After all he knew them both.

“Hoseok is in love with me,” he managed to squeeze out before his voice cracked. Shit he couldn't even talk about this without crying. He was the asshole goddamn it, he had no fucking right to cry.

“Are you drunk? Maybe you misunderstood something? What do you mean in love?” Changkyun would've probably said something different if Hyungwon hadn't been crying into his phone so desperately. He took another deep breath.

“He was pretty straightforward about it Changkyun. I was just kinda slow at first. Also I'm not Hoseok, I don't get drunk.”

_And Hoseok also only got drunk because you treated him like shit Hyungwon._

“I'll repeat this now. Hoseok, like, the Shin Hoseok told you he loves you? He wasn't drunk and he wasn't laughing? Why would he tell you that? You were his lawyer.”

Changkyun was not getting it, sure, he didn't have all the background information. Hyungwon thought about how to make it understandable without saying too much.

“Okay Changkyun, the two of us hung out a little outside of the case and Hoseok had this thing of touching my face all the time and telling me I'm beautiful and all and how he can't control himself. I didn't really think much about that and today he said that he loves me with a sad smile, but then quickly tried to correct it to something else. It was clear that he said it right the first time.” Having to explain and reflect on everything made it a little difficult to cry so Hyungwon moved the back of his hand over his eyes, hoping he was done being pathetic.

Changkyun was obviously there but didn't say a word just breathing in and out.

“Where is Hoseok?” His voice became low and he didn't sound like the cute puppy at all. Hyungwon felt a little scared at how much his tone changed. Did he say something wrong? It was mostly the sad truth and now he ran away again like a fucking coward. The same thing he had accused Hoseok of.

“I was at his studio just now. I believe he's still there,” he answered, chewing on his lip nervously. “Why?”

“Shit, he let you in there?” Changkyun whispered and it sounded like a rhetoric question. Hyungwon nodded, but quickly realised that Changkyun couldn't see.

“Yes, he invited me and showed me what he was working on.” Hyungwon's heart hurt remembering how Hoseok used the melody of his mother so creatively, stealing his breath and looking so genuinely happy while doing it.

_And you fucked it up Hyungwon._

“I feel like vomiting right now. Fuck. Tell me why you think you fucked up.” Changkyun inhaled deeply on the other side of the phone line. Hyungwon felt the same bile that left him before rising in his throat again.

“I…,” he started. Shit, how was he supposed to explain this? That he gave his body to him, being oblivious and thinking it'd get solved by itself?

“I think I have been leading him on,” Hyungwon breathed out, unable to say anything else. Shit, Changkyun’s reaction only confirmed how badly he fuck up. Hoseok never let anyone in his studio, no one but Hyungwon. Shit, he didn't deserve any of this.

“Won. My imagination is not on a level where it's capable of imagining you leading Hoseok on. You're… you know yourself how you are to others.” he sighed. “Was Hoseok okay when you left?” Hyungwon swallowed. He couldn't really tell Changkyun what happened. He didn't feel ready for that.

Minimizing the damage he attempted to explain.

“I think he likes that I'm sarcastic, he… well you know that ga- homosexual stuff isn't really something I'm familiar with, so when he kissed me before I kinda just kissed back. Seeing it as a challenge that he wanted to rile me up.“ Hyungwon wasn't sure whether that made sense but he really hoped it didn't sound as stupid out loud as it did in his head. He avoided telling Changkyun that Hoseok looked devastated when he left. Fuck he had made it even worse, didn't he?

“You did what?” The boy almost screamed and it hurt his eardrums. “Fuck Won, do you know what kind of person Hoseok is? Fuck. I'll call you later you better don't move your ass anywhere. ” He just hung up.

Hyungwon laughed bitterly. He barely made it to the bed and there was no way that he'd get his legs anywhere today. Tears burned in his eyes again. Yes, by now he did know what kind of person Hoseok was. A fucking angel that didn't know what was good for him. Hyungwon was glad that he hadn't spilled the fact that everything was much more complicated than that.

_You left out your attraction Hyungwon._

He didn't want to stop seeing and kissing Hoseok. He was fucking hooked. Actually he had hoped Changkyun could give him a solution in which they still saw each other, but nothing else changed. A scenario in which Hoseok’s body was still blissfully his, at least until his body was finally sated.

_Fuck._

_You are such a selfish asshole Hyungwon._

 

***

 

It would’ve been nice if it lasted longer. There were so many things he wanted to tell Hyungwon, being intimate with each other without the burden hanging over him after the door closed. Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at the sound the lock made when Hyungwon left. There he went letting the lawyer in his most private space, offering him his heart on a fucking plate, giving him a knife.  
  
_Hyungwon didn’t even bother looking at it, he just left, that’s how much he cares. Why are you so stupid Hoseok?_  
  
It’s not that he didn’t know that it was bound to happen, he just didn’t think it would be so soon.

Almost an hour passed since the beautiful man had walked out of the door, leaving him. Standing there, Hoseok felt everything rip apart inside of him. The burning pain in the chest, sharp stab inside of his lower stomach, the fingers clenched to fists, nails abusing the skin of the palm mercilessly.

 _That’s just how it is. What the fuck did you think it would feel like?_  
  
Hoseok took his notebook lying on the ground, kicked down from all the things that were happening on the desk and started scribbling.  
  
_I know, that I wasn’t perfect_  
_And I didn’t even apologize_  
_I took you for granted_ _  
Just like that, I was gradually fooled by the time_

Tears started falling down. Why didn’t he just stop back then, after those three hideous weeks of suffering? Why didn’t he just continue until nothing was left inside of him, nothing that reminded him of Hyungwon? There he was, making the same mistake over and over again. He kept getting fooled by his own stupid greed.  
  
'Once again' _,_ he added to the four lines.  
  
It was not the right time to be a pathetic piece of shit, bathing in self-pity. Hyungwon just left. He did, but Hoseok knew he would eventually. It was just that the lawyer chose to leave after entering Hoseok’s most sacred place. It wouldn’t have hurt that much if he left him in his apartment, or at a bar or wherever, but leaving him in his studio, after listening to music, being intimate and talking honestly about his personality, Hyungwon decided to leave.  
  
_Because he doesn’t like you. He doesn’t like your personality and he doesn’t want to know all this shit you told him, thinking it would make a difference if he knew._  
  
His phone vibrated repeatedly. After the second time he could guess it was Changkyun, but after the seventh time it became strange.  
  
“Something wrong?” Maybe he had an emergency.  
  
“Where are you? Your studio? I’m going there.” Changkyun didn’t let him put a word in between.  
  
“Yes, but don’t come here please. I just want to be alone.” Hoseok told him the truth.  
  
“You have two possibilities. I’ll go there and I’ll take the police with me saying you are dead so they’ll open the door, or you go home now and meet me there.” The boy sounded dead serious and Hoseok had the feeling he wasn’t joking about all this.

“Fine, I’ll be home in ten minutes.” If it was necessary to have Changkyun somewhere, then it would rather be his apartment.  
  
Hoseok jumped in his Audi, buckling up and looking in the mirror. He looked as if he cried, which he did, but Changkyun shouldn’t necessarily know, so he slapped his cheeks a couple of times until blush appeared and made him look more natural.  
  
Arriving at his garage he couldn’t help but stay in his car for a couple more minutes. He wasn’t ready for guests, or stupid questions, or any kind of human interaction. Hoseok’s whole body hurt, every organ there was reminded him that mental pain was not something he could ignore easily.  
  
_Why are you like this? Fuck._  
  
There he was again, tears rolling down so painfully, burning on his cheeks. They were supposed to dissolve the lump of desperation and anguish stuck in his chest, creeping up his throat, making it hard to breathe. But the water just came down without easing the ache, simply dropping down the steering wheel, not making anything better.

_Why didn't you stay away, why Hoseok? Fuck, look at this mess._

He didn’t because he was a fool. Because Hyungwon seemed to enjoy his company and he just jumped into it without thinking about consequences.  
  
_Like Icarus._  
  
Hoseok suddenly remembered the story about Icarus ignoring every advice and flying so close to the sun, that he ended up drowning in the ocean.

He was drowning in his own fucking tears in his Audi after getting too close to Hyungwon and getting hurt, a lot. Life was full of irony.  
  
A quick look into the overhead mirror showed him a pale excuse of a human staring back at him with red eyes.

 _Nice. So be it_.

He would tell Changkyun a sad story about how his song didn’t turn out well or something.  
  
The other was already waiting in front of the door, leaning against the wall and looking at his phone. Hoseok typed in the code, not looking up and waved Changkyun in.  
  
“Did something happen?” Of course the boy realised. He was extremely attentive, especially if Hoseok behaved weird, which he couldn’t help doing. He just threw the song not working out excuse and went directly to the minibar. There was no way he would be able to get through the evening without blurring his senses.  
  
“Was Hyungwon there?” Changkyun went after him and Hoseok almost spilled the expensive alcohol all over the place. How did the other know? Someone must have told him.  
  
“What? What are you talking about?” There was still a possibility of the boy bluffing and Hoseok wasn’t prepared for this topic at all. He was planning to forget about this, with the help of alcohol.  
  
“I know he was. What’s going on Hoseok? Why did you let him in there?” Changkyun closed the distance and took a glass from the shelf not looking at Hoseok as if he was afraid of the expression he would see on his face. It was not a bullshitting game anymore. Changkyun was there next to him, asking about Hyungwon entering his studio and knowing exactly why that was something that needed clarification.  
  
“I didn’t think about it, it just happened. Why are you asking me all those things Kkung?” There was a little truth to his answer, as Hoseok really didn’t think it through, and now everything was painted in Hyungwon, no matter where he went trying to hide desperately.  
  
“What is your relationship with him? Why did you kiss him back then? I know you lied, but I thought I’d let you once.” Changkyun took a sip and closed his eyes.  
  
Shit. Hoseok didn’t like the direction in which this whole talk was going. He didn’t want to talk about Hyungwon, at all. He just wanted to get drunk to sleep properly, not thinking about all the consequences that rained over him as Hyungwon closed the door and left just like that. Most importantly he didn’t want to cry in front of Changkyun. He didn’t want to cry in front of anyone. He didn’t want to feel pain and the loss, ripping his insides apart, he didn’t want to be forced to get drunk to replace the devastation with the blurry emptiness.

Fuck.  
  
He felt the tears building up and turned towards the bar, so the other couldn’t see his face. Gulping down the shot he managed to concentrate on the burning trace the liquid left inside of hs throat, swallowing the tears along with it.  
  
“Why are you asking me all those things? I don’t feel like talking about it, I feel like drinking and sleeping to be honest.” He turned around and went to his favourite armchair, sat down and let the incredible view distract him from the state he was in.  
  
Changkyun’s steps sounded behind him. The other man took the spot Hyungwon sat on last time he was there and a painful sensation spiked through Hoseok’s limbs.  
  
“Hoseok, do you like him?”

That one hurt. A lot. So much Hoseok had to dig his nails into the skin of his thigh to get his senses back. How was he going to lie about this when his whole body screamed Hyungwon? Every spot tingled and hurt at the mere mention of his name.  
  
“Why does that matter? It doesn’t at all.” He wished someone would just come running inside of his living room and stab him so the pain would stop. So he would stop being forced to think about those things destroying him and his ability to live a normal, healthy life.  
  
“Shit Hoseok, you do? Fuck, what kind of sick shit is this? I thought he annoyed you?”

Changkyun didn’t seem surprised at all. He looked more like Hoseok confirmed a fact he had been worried about. It was an amusing situation, him and Won had wanted to choke each other at their first meeting, Hoseok had always talked about how Hyungwon was a sassy asshole and Hyungwon probably hadn't said anything because he hadn't cared.

At all.  
  
“Funny right. Life is a fucking comedy.” Hoseok stood up and got another shot. The conversation was hard to handle and alcohol was the only thing that could help him get through. Just as he poured in a double shot he felt Changkyun’s arms on his shoulders, turning him around.  
  
“Hyung, why are you like this? Why does it have to be him? He will rip your heart out. He’s straight as fuck.” Hoseok’s eyes gave up on basic etiquette and tears flowed down like a river. Kkung hugged him tightly and patted his head. He never thought Changkyun would be comforting him because he fell in love with a straight guy who didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

Life had a strange sense of humour.

Maybe it was Changkyun’s fault, maybe the pain was just too much to handle, but Hoseok just kept crying like a fucking baby, unable to stop, draining his friend’s clothes in his stupid tears.  
  
“It’s my fault. He didn’t know anything. I’ll get over it somehow.” Hoseok tried to get his shit together, realizing Changkyun would get really angry at Hyungwon after seeing him crying like this.  
  
“Won is oblivious as fuck because he doesn’t care about stuff like that. I’m so sorry Hyung, It’s my first time seeing you like this. Tell me what I can do for you?” The other man stroked his back.  
  
Hoseok didn’t need anything. Except for a fucking time machine to turn everything back maybe, or to go two years forward to not be forced to feel all this. How could he be so incredibly stupid to think that it would be okay? Maybe because it was never that hard before. He felt powerless.  
  
“I’m okay, maybe I was too emotional right now, sorry.” He dried his tears and turned back to the bar, taking his glass and walking back to the chair.  
  
“What do you plan on doing about all this?” Changkyun was the master of stabbing people with his questions.

Nothing, what would he do? Jumping Hyungwon was not an option, the other made sure it was over by running away after the intimate talk they had. Hoseok was not an idiot.

He was, but not in the area of social interaction. He would just deal with it somehow.  
  
“It will be okay Kkung, don’t worry. I’m an adult. I’m just really tired so I want to sleep.” His body felt like jelly, especially after the third double shot. He didn’t want to appear in front of Hyungwon’s door again, so sleeping was the best option. Time would pass, it might get better.

 _It would eventually, right?_  
  
The other man nodded and emptied his glass in one movement.  
“I’m there if you want to talk about all this. Please don’t disappear because I’ll come get you with force, you can count on that.” The seriousness in Changkyun’s voice surprised him, but he nodded shortly to show that he understood.

They said their goodbyes and Kkung patted his shoulder telling him everything would turn out fine. Such a lovely puppy.  
  
Left alone the pain returned like a wrecking ball smashing everything. How was he going to live without seeing Hyungwon, talking to him, touching him, telling him how beautiful he was, raking through his hair and stroking his skin? It was suffocating him, like the only air he could breathe was taken away.

Hyungwon was that air.

There was no way to make it better. His brain searched for excuses, strategies, actions, anything that could make him feel less pain to make this situation less desperate, but Hoseok looked into a deep, dark void, surrounding him, sucking him in and making him go crazy.  
  
He unlocked his phone and typed into the message box.  
  
_Although now, I can’t erase it and I can’t forget it…_  
  
He didn’t press send and threw the phone on the bed. He lay next to it, trying to dampen the pain, feeling his limbs getting sleepy, his eyes closing and everything around him turning into a big intimidating darkness.

 

  
***

 

Fingers were still grabbing the sheets, lungs constricted painfully as Hyungwon sat up in the bed and leaned his head against the headboard of his king sized bed. Being left alone with his thoughts only made everything worse. His limbs felt like jelly from not moving for a long time and he wondered if he had moved in and out of consciousness a few times.

Almost three hours had passed since Changkyun hung up on him. By now he had reached the point at which if someone asked him what he wanted to happen he could have answered without hesitation. However, he really hated his answer, because it was selfish and disgusting.

_Just like all these things you keep doing._

Hyungwon breathed in slowly, calming himself and stopping the sudden regret and judgement over everything he had been doing with Hoseok. Calling it disgusting was going too far, as he had been enjoying it. A lot. So much that he couldn't return to his normal life without craving for it. At least for now. He was convinced that staying away from Hoseok was going to change that effectively. Especially now that he wasn't angry and hurt anymore, just selfish and blind.

The lawyer couldn't help but feel sad at the thought of not seeing the other man anymore. Even though their relationship had been mainly sexual he wouldn't have minded to be friends with someone like Hoseok.

Shit, now he was getting sentimental when it was all his fault. Had he not reacted to the ministrations the way he did everything could have worked out fine and Hoseok wouldn't have fallen for his shitty personality.

Hyungwon couldn't help laughing bitterly at the thought. He wasn't even sure if Hoseok was in love with his personality. The man acted affected from the beginning, throwing him against walls and being mesmerized by his face. It did sound like his love stemmed from Hyungwon's looks. Just like for everyone else until they realized what a sarcastic asshole he was.

_Shit, don't you dare sink into self pity and cry again Hyungwon. This is ridiculous and below you._

The rhythmic vibrations of his mobile phone were the salvation from his thoughts that he had craved. Changkyun had kept his promise just like Hyungwon kept his, not moving from his bed.

“How are you? Not asleep yet?” Changkyun’s low voice sounded even lower through the speaker. Hyungwon nodded and released a sigh, sufficient to signify his presence but too little to show how wrecked his voice was from all the crying.

“Did you turn mute? What happened to that sassy mouth of yours?” He was right. Crying was so unlike Hyungwon. Before meeting Hoseok he couldn't even really say when the last time he cried was, most likely years ago.

“It's been drowning in my fucking tears Changkyun,” Hyungwon whispered out, voice strained and trying hard not to start again, remembering why he cried in the first place. His fingers found the blanket again and he brought it closer to his body, struggling to stay warm, still leaning against the headboard.

“Why the fuck would you cry, Chae Hyungwon?” Changkyun’s voice sounded bitter and sarcastic, so unlike him. Well, he did have a point. Why the fuck was he crying? Because he wished that he could have kept Hoseok around for a while longer, being a selfish asshole and hurting him in the process.

“I hoped that we could have been friends,” he choked out and shit the truth hurt and he felt the tears run again, although he believed he had cried them all already. How much liquid could the human body produce, it felt impossible.  
  
“I'm speechless Won, you should hear yourself talking. I was at Hoseok’s place just now. I hope you can cry some more to make me feel better about all this.” He paused as if trying to formulate his thoughts. “Friends? Just be friends then, why the fuck are you crying?”

This was the first time that Changkyun told him he was happy to hear him cry. Hyungwon wanted to say something to hurt the other, fight back but nothing came to his mind. Changkyun was right for fuck’s sake.

“I can’t just be his friend Changkyun. He’s in love with me. I don’t want to hurt him. Fuck.” His voice cracked on the word ‘love’ and he felt pathetic.

“You know what I'm asking myself right now? Whether you are crying because you are sorry for Hoseok, or because you're pitying yourself for being in this situation? Maybe you can clear this up so I can understand. You shouldn't be the one suffering Won, you're not the victim here.”

Hyungwon fucking knew that. Of course he wasn’t the victim, still he thought of not having Hoseok around and hated it passionately.

“I’m crying because I’m a selfish piece of shit and want him around although I know that it’s going to hurt him. And I hate myself for not realizing sooner and thinking he used me although it was the fucking other way around all this time. Shit. Why am I so fucking blind?”

Hyungwon took another deep breath.

“This whole thing escalated way beyond my control and I don’t want to hurt him, but I am also afraid that I won’t be able to stay away.” Shit not knowing the whole story Changkyun was going to be confused now. Hyungwon was really scared of talking about his bodily discoveries.

A long pause on the other end of the line confirmed Hyungwon’s thoughts.

“If I wouldn't know you so well, I would've said that you're having a huge crush on Hoseok.” Hyungwon almost dropped the phone.

“Stop confusing me with this! I don't understand why you would be so devastated not to see him. Just see him then. I wished you would’ve seen Hoseok half an hour ago…Fuck,” Changkyun almost whispered. Hyungwon stopped sobbing, immediately. Eyes wide he sat on his bed and tried to process what Changkyun was trying to tell him.

“Changkyun, I want to see him, but…,” his knuckles whitened from the force with which he held the phone. “What if we kiss again and everything escalates?”

“Escalates?” Shit, Hyungwon let himself go. Now there was no way to get out of this without at least revealing some of the truth.

Fuck.

He clenched his teeth and tried to come up with the best way to explain this without making it sound as serious as it was.

“We...have this strange attraction thing going on and-” he paused again. “Things just...escalate when we’re around each other. I’m scared it’ll happen again and I’ll hurt him. But I don’t want to stay away either. He’s a fucking angel Changkyun. Why did nobody warn me?”

Changkyun was obviously mad, he breathed in and out loudly.

“Listen up to what I'll tell you. I love you, you're my friend, but you have no idea about what kind of person Hoseok is. Your so called escalation is Hoseok being in love with you and you better-” he snapped before getting his voice back under control. “You better not touch him again unless you want me to get really mad at you. It's not some fucking game Won.”

Hyungwon clenched his teeth again. Fuck, Changkyun was right. He was going to get his shit together and leave Hoseok the fuck alone. Just now he wanted to run to Hoseok, drop everything and make sure he was okay, but he wasn’t the right person for that. He would have made everything worse.

“I told you I don’t want to hurt him Changkyun. I won’t touch him and I won’t see him either. For the both of us.” The thought of not seeing Hoseok sent a stabbing pain through his guts, but Hyungwon just ignored it. His stupid attraction was easier to fight than what Hoseok had to deal with.

“You should think about why you are behaving like this. It's not like you. At all. I didn't say you shouldn't see him, don't be this pretentious asshole.” Changkyun paused as if thinking about something. “Let's meet up friday and talk a little, I'm in Boston during the week so I won't be here, but friday evening should be possible. And don't you dare cry.”

Hyungwon hummed in agreement. “You don’t know what happens when we see each other Changkyun, but thank you for being willing to meet me on Friday,” he whispered and closed his eyes, calming himself to be able to sleep afterwards.

“Won, I still love you, despite you being a selfish asshole like this. See you.” He hung up. Hyungwon felt conflicted. The wish to run to Hoseok was still there, but maybe it would fade over the week. Maybe he could see Changkyun on Friday and be himself again, tell him how annoying his work was and that he’d love to hang out with Hoseok, just talk and maybe listen to that track he had made while he was there. Fuck, his chest constricted again and he slid down the headboard into his bed.

He was going to sleep and after a week when he would meet up with Changkyun everything was going to be wonderful.

_

 

Nothing was wonderful. Absolutely nothing. Hyungwon grabbed his jacket from the kitchen chair, still avoiding his living room as if it was a quarantine zone and walked towards the door, before deciding that he didn’t feel good enough to go to his office and would just work from home.

Like the past week.

Everyday he had tried to motivate himself, but he just couldn’t fucking do it. Throwing the jacket back and unbuttoning his shirt, sliding the suit pants off and slipping into his home clothes, he sat down on his bed with a few case documents and stared at them.

The lawyer had rejected more cases this week than he had in the entire year, work minimized as much as possible and court cases pushed back indefinitely. Maybe he would even let someone else take over until he finally felt good enough to focus on work.

It was ridiculous.

Hyungwon dealt with his problems by working more and thinking less, not the exact opposite. Although he had believed that he would be stable when he met Changkyun he was nowhere near presentable nor mentally stable. His body kept playing tricks on him, reacting to the most basic thought of Hoseok. Hoseok smiling, Hoseok showing him music, Hoseok talking about his mother, Hoseok above him kissing his face, Hoseok stroking his cheek and telling him he was beautiful, Hoseok’s hurt expression when Hyungwon just left him behind in his studio, just like that.

 _Fuck_ , he was not fucking okay.

He couldn’t work, he couldn’t think properly without Hoseok invading his thoughts and he wasn’t able to continue with the most basic things in life without sudden mental breakdowns or touching himself while thinking about Hoseok.

The last time he had been just angry and confused at his body, needing Hoseok to take the edge off. Now he was desperate because it wasn’t just that he needed to get off, he needed Hoseok to fucking hold him and tell him everything was okay - which was pathetic, because he should have been the one hugging Hoseok and telling him everything was fine after stomping on his heart the way he did.

 _Fuck_.

Hyungwon closed his eyes, fighting the images of Hoseok that immediately materialized in front of him. It wasn’t even sexual anymore. He just kept thinking about all those times Hoseok showered him with affection, touching him carefully as if he was something precious that the other man feared to break. Hyungwon wanted him close.

_Maybe you do have a crush, Hyungwon?_

A voice whispered, sounding suspiciously deep like Changkyun’s. Hyungwon laughed out loud. He didn’t do crushes and when he fell in love it was fucking obvious and not this fucking complicated. He just knew that he wanted the person around and went with it, usually a pretty petite girl. Hoseok was not a pretty petite girl and therefore did not qualify for a crush.

Hyungwon might have been confused about what turned him on, until Hoseok cleared it up obviously, but he was not gay. He wouldn’t fall for another man just like that. He needed to take the curiousity off and then he could return to his peaceful and boring straight life.

_Not boring, just...familiar._

Hyungwon grabbed his head with his hands and wanted to scream out loud.

The amounts of gay porn he had consumed in the attempts to understand and get it off his chest did nothing to suppress his urges except for heightening his curiosity and increasing his yearning for Hoseok to unimaginable degrees. He fucking wanted him and it had never been as clear to him as it was now.

Whenever he saw his bathtub he thought of Hoseok lying there, looking ethereal. Whenever he saw his living room and the mini bar he thought of Hoseok pleasing him. Whenever he was lying in his bed he remembered the hungry way that Hoseok looked at him when he stripped, performing for the other man. Had Hyungwon been oblivious and not asked Hoseok about his fake fuck boy personality they could have been dancing together at a club by now, spending time with each other like friends. Friends that made out.

Fuck.

Hyungwon stood up and walked to the shower, stripping off his poor excuse for clothing and needing something cold and numbing to get his senses back. He hated friendships with benefits, especially if one person was more involved than the other. He just didn’t do casual sex and here he was wishing that Hoseok would grant him exactly that.

Stepping naked into the shower he turned the water to the coldest setting and almost suffered from cardiac arrest when liquid ice hit his back. He stood there, freezing and hands barely holding on to the wall until he couldn’t take it anymore and turned it to warm.

 _Pathetic_ , he wasn’t even able to punish himself for longer than a minute. Hand moving over his face and brushing his hair back he grabbed the shampoo and massaged it carefully into his hair. He was meeting Changkyun in an hour and he should at least pretend that he had been taking care of himself and was okay, even though he wasn’t.

Massaging his scalp reminded him of when Hoseok had done exactly that, holding him in his arms and calming his doubts. The other man’s behaviour was so obviously not only sex based that Hyungwon still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t realized. He was so stunned by all the things Hoseok did to him and showed him that he had no resources to think about what all those actions even meant.

The memory of the way Hoseok had been touching him in his bed, moaning into his ear how much he wanted to be inside of him, hit Hyungwon like a wave of arousal. He panted under the warm water and contemplated to give up and touch himself to his memories of Hoseok as he had so many times before.

Washing out the shampoo from his hair he leaned forward, left hand holding him away from the shower wall and moved his right hand down his body, imagining it was Hoseok. The other man was an exhilarating mixture of tender and rough and Hyungwon remembered how hands stroked his sides softly as teeth bit his nipples and neck, almost breaking skin.

Shit, he was so hard it hurt and he had only thought about Hoseok touching his chest.

Curling his fingers around his now fully erect cock Hyungwon gave it a few strokes, gasping against the shower wall. He wished for it to be Hoseok so bad, touching him, doing that thing he did when Hyungwon screamed into his hand coming so hard on Hoseok’s studio table that he thought he lost consciousness.

His fingers tingled and he felt his body heat up, water cold in comparison to his skin. He began teasing himself, calling forward all those images he suppressed unless he was pleasuring himself. Hoseok sitting on a chair in front of him, touching himself while not leaving Hyungwon’s spread-legged form. Hoseok telling him he wanted to be inside of him so bad, telling him how good it would feel. Shit, curiosity built up inside of Hyungwon.

_What if it really felt good?_

Hyungwon wanted Hoseok to touch him so bad it didn't even matter how. He could just do whatever he wanted, Hyungwon would gladly let him.

Intrigued, his fingers dropped lower, slipping past his shaft and massaging his balls shortly, gasps echoing in the shower. His fingers found the skin right below, smoothly moving over it, enjoying how sensitive it was. Experimentally he pressed down, moaning against the shower wall, but preferring it with Hoseok’s mouth on him as it had been last time.

The other man just knew better what to do to make Hyungwon feel good and he couldn’t help but miss the feeling of Hoseok’s lips and hands on him. Previously he had considered a 69 something rather dirty, but Hoseok made it seem so intimate, smiling at him beforehand as if Hyungwon was giving him a birthday present. His chest swelled, stomach contracting, thinking of Hoseok’s mouth on him.

Hyungwon had no idea what Hoseok inside him would feel but at this point he would’ve done anything to know. He moaned, moving his hand back to his length and stroking rhythmically, not too fast to come immediately, but enough to have an effect.

 _Fuck_ , he wanted Hoseok so bad.

This was so unlike him, jerking off while thinking of a specific person and suffering from their absence. Hyungwon wanted more, something to compensate the fact that Hoseok wasn’t with him. The memory of Hoseok sucking on his fingers, slowly, eyes not leaving his spread out in his mind like a bad idea he really wanted to follow but knew he shouldn’t. Hyungwon had done enough research to know what fingers could do but trying it out was a whole new level of crossing borders he didn’t know if he was willing to pass.

 _‘Listen, just try it at home some time, or I'll show you next time,’_ Hoseok’s voice echoed in his head. Well, he wasn’t there to show him was he?

_Maybe it will calm you down and you can finally move on, Hyungwon._

It might be worth a try. His cock pulsated painfully and he paused his ministrations, twitching in his own hand. Fuck he wanted to come. He reduced the strength of the shower, knowing that washing away whatever lubricant he came up with wasn’t a good idea. Removing his left hand from the shower wall he moved it towards his lips, licking his index finger intently and trying not to come at the image of Hoseok doing the exact same.

_Wait._

Grabbing the shower gel, smell beautiful and flower intensive, he coated his hands with it, deciding to clean himself thoroughly before he tried out anything out of his comfort zone. Cleaning up consciously and giving his dick some coated strokes, almost coming at the sensation, he washed off the residues and stared at his left hand.

_You’re really going to do this aren’t you Hyungwon?_

Breath unstable and index finger coated in saliva Hyungwon was standing in his huge shower, warm water hitting his shoulders lightly, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do, while imagining another man doing it. Coating his index finger some more, just to make sure, he moved behind his body, propping his entrance carefully, breathing harshly and brain filled with images of Hoseok’s hands.

Hoseok had said he really wanted to see him do it and at this point Hyungwon really wished the other man was there to see it, so he could just lose himself in the feeling of the other’s intensive gaze on his body. To make it easier he slowly moved his right hand over his dick. The slide felt easy, especially with the slim built of his fingers. Taking a deep breath his slipped his index finger up to the knuckle, releasing the air he was holding and being surprised at the lack of disgust he felt. The muscles were really smooth, so it probably felt amazing for a dick now that he thought about it.

 _Hoseok’s for example_.

His dick twitched at the thought and Hyungwon forced further worries about the intensity of his fascination with the male body further to the back of his head. Right now he wanted to find his prostate and fucking come already. Moving his finger around, feeling a little weird at the sensation but not unpleasant, he probed, not pausing the strokes of his right hand. The fingering let his impending orgasm move slightly back and gave him more time to explore.

Remembering the localization of the prostate he had looked up a few weeks ago he angled his finger further to his body and almost collapsed at the intense contraction of nerve endings that rushed through him.

 _Fucking hell_.

His breathing sped up as if he hadn’t paused the movements on his dick at all and he probed the same spot again, legs shaking at the intensity of the feeling and wishing Hoseok was there to hold him up.

 _Fuck this was amazing_.

The desire to feel more, even more intensive liquid arousal spread through his limbs crashed upon him and he forced himself to calm down. He was not going to finger fuck himself with several fingers the first time he tried it out. Shit he wanted Hoseok to finger fuck him like that, lips around his dick and making him lose his fucking mind.

Hyungwon built up a rhythm, synchronizing his strokes with the probing of his index finger, bundle of nerves sending spikes up his spine and clouding his thoughts. The sensation was so intense that he sank to his knees to not surrender his balance later on.

He moaned loudly and increased the speed, the feeling spreading through his pelvis, reaching down to his legs, numbing pleasure taking over everything. The built up of his orgasm was steady, waves crashing against him further and further just waiting to take him under. It was amazing, even if Hyungwon’s hand wouldn't have been stroking his dick the sensations that his finger produced forced his cock to twitch, constricting his insides in pleasure.

Unable to deny himself anymore Hyungwon placed his middle finger next to his index finger, prodding and hissing at the slight discomfort, but being too far gone to care. The combined stimulation of both fingers in his ass was so overwhelming that he felt as if something exploded in his urethra, numbing his legs and sending wave and wave over him at the same time, orgasm drowning him.

Opening his eyes after closing them at the intensity, Hyungwon saw the biggest load he had ever shot in his life slipping down the drain. Fuck, his breathing was still ragged and he couldn’t feel his lower body. It had been as if all of his energy had just been sucked out of his body and concentrated into a mindblowing orgasm.

Hyungwon was so gone. There was nothing he wanted more than Hoseok doing whatever it is that he had wanted to do to him all this time.

At this point he was even ready to beg for it.

 _Shit_.

Hyungwon was terrified of meeting Changkyun. There was no fucking way he could stay away from Hoseok anymore.

He needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Comments are greatly appreciated. Next chapter coming soon =) 
> 
> We love you!


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What? Did you turn mute? Or can you only talk with your bodies?"

The pale reflection smiled back at him and it looked a little sad. Not close to tears sad, just genuinely sad, the kind of sadness you feel if you know that you lost something but you got used to it? This feeling when something was missing, but you managed to do every day things just accepting the fact that it felt like dying.

Just like that.    
  
The pain was not the same as on the first day. A week had passed and Hoseok had gotten used to it, accepting the lump in his throat and the clenching in his chest as a part of him. He was thankful, since with the pain spreading through his insides it felt less empty. Hyungwon was gone and the anguish came to replace him.

However the images and the memories didn't let him live. All those times Hyungwon had been naked in front of him, his dark skin glowing, his beautiful face, big eyes looking at him, his lips caressing his skin, low voice whispering how much he wanted him, it was too much to handle. Hoseok hadn’t been able to think about anything else when he had touched himself, he hadn’t even tried to refrain from it. It was simply impossible.

Every time he tried not to let those thoughts invade his brain, the memory of Hyungwon sitting on the ground, touching himself in this white shirt, moaning and breathing heavily crushed his resolutions like a fucking wrecking ball. Hoseok wasn't even sure he had a sexuality besides being a fucking slave for Hyungwon, who on the other hand decided he didn't want Hoseok anymore. 

_ Did he ever want you though? _

Changkyun had kept writing messages containing stupid jokes and short video clips of himself hilariously shooting love guns at him or jumping up screaming ‘Hyung I love you’ in the camera. It made him smile. Hoseok was happy that he had Kkung and it didn't feel that empty. 

He managed to finish three songs in the past week. He had never been that productive in his life, the rumour about being depressed and doing art seemed to be true after all.

Especially the draft he had made with Hyungwon’s help fuelled his creativity. He wanted to make it into a song and had even started writing lyrics down in his notebook a week ago, collecting random drafts of messages, things he had wanted to say to Hyungwon but never did. It was cringeworthy and pathetic but that was typical of him. 

He was pathetic, so fucking what?

Changkyun had written that he wanted to see him dance again, today, in the evening, to celebrate the end of his successful trip to a conference. Hoseok missed dancing a lot. The thought about moving his body to some amazing beats, most of which were his anyway, painted a smile on his face, and it was not a sad one this time. He was really looking forward to the evening with Changkyun, dancing and drinking fancy cocktails, talking and laughing. 

It was nice that he had started working out like a crazy person again, on the one hand it felt relieving to sweat and pant and be tired, almost dying, the thoughts of Hyungwon fading a little. On the other hand, he looked like a fucking god. Every muscle lean and defined, pale skin making it look like he was made out of porcelain. Smiling at his reflection Hoseok picked ripped blue jeans that hugged his thighs closely and a black sleeveless top which made his arms look super bulged. 

He was satisfied.

Walking into the club, he spotted Changkyun almost immediately and walked towards him, taking huge steps. The other man was really happy to see him, hugged him and screamed some bullshit about Hoseok being his type if he himself wouldn’t be straight as a ruler. 

Such a cute puppy.

Hoseok grabbed the gin mixed cocktail and drowned half of it down his throat, feeling a little euphoric because he wanted to dance. So fucking much. 

A song came on, an early work of his with a heavy base and a nice low female voice rapping over it.  _ Jessi did well back then _ , he thought. The desire to move his body washed over him and he went to the dancefloor leaving Changkyun behind with his cocktail, unable to wait any longer. 

Music was his life. It was so exhilarating to feel the beat with his body, thrusting his hips into the air, body rolling smoothly, arms bending and moving to the music. He closed his eyes and ignored the looks of the women standing next to him. There was no point anyway. Yes, his sexuality was Chae Hyungwon and it had left with him, he admitted bitterly, eyes still closed. He must've looked crazy, dancing like there was no fucking tomorrow for him, pulling all those moves he knew would attract people's attention. 

Hoseok opened his eyes shortly just to see that he danced in a circle formed by other people, watching with their mouth opened, screaming and hyping him up. He didn't care and wanted to close his eyes again until his chest clenched faster than he could perceive the reason for the outburst of emotions. His eyes spotted a painfully familiar figure in the crowd, gaze glued to his moving body, mouth open, plump lips, big eyes. 

Hoseok just squeezed his eyes shut again. He didn't want to open them. His body moved so smoothly and the song wasn't finished yet. Suddenly the naive thought of showing Hyungwon what he was missing out on materialized and Hoseok gave everything for the last part of the upbeat song, opening his eyes to coordinate the movements better. He looked the lawyer directly in the eyes while his hand moved down his chest and abs, grabbing his thigh and thrusting in the air. Smooth movements, perfectly coordinated, Hoseok gave his best. 

_ Now you're dancing for him. Like he wanted you to.  _

The song ended and Hoseok stopped to catch his breath, bending in half, hands on his thighs under a huge applause from the people around him, who he didn't give a shit about. After being able to breathe properly, he turned around and went into the direction he left Changkyun at, grabbing his cocktail out of his hand and emptying the glass in one shot. The crowd roared behind him, welcoming someone new into the ring. Changkyun glanced past Hoseok towards the collection of people and his eyes widened.

“I think Won wants to battle you.” The other man started laughing, pointing towards the back. 

Hoseok was happy that he didn't have any liquid left in his mouth to choke on. His body turned and went back without the brain being able to control his motions. He went through the crowd that welcomed him back with loud cheers and stopped at the sight of Hyungwon dancing in the middle. The lawyer put his hair up, showing that beautiful forehead Hoseok was obsessed with, a loose black shirt and black skinny jeans covering his body. He looked like a model, so beautiful and graceful, body moving like it was made for dancing. 

_ You wanted to show him what he was missing out on and he just showed you, why you are the idiot for thinking you could get over him.  _

The song was upbeat and Hyungwon showed exactly what those long legs were capable of, precise movements, harsh and fitting the beat, hip thrusts at the right times, eyes not leaving Hoseok’s face, smiling when appropriate. At the bridge he turned fluidly, stopping exactly at the beat drop and let his palm smoothly slide over his thigh, kneeling down before turning on his knees and jumping up from the ground, falling into his chorus routine again. 

Hoseok felt like dying. He didn't even know what he thought but his legs just went there. Looking like some crazy person Hoseok smiled brightly and started dancing in front of Hyungwon pulling absolutely different moves, smooth and rolling, biceps flexing, arm movements lifting his top up, showing off the lean defined abs, contracting while his limbs and hips moved fluidly to the music. The crowd was going wild, but he couldn't care less. Both of them were dancing intensely to the song until the last beats faded out, switching to something slower but bass still heavy. 

Hyungwon paused his dancing with a turn and walked right in front of Hoseok. 

“Wanna dance more synchronized instead of against each other?” he asked holding out his hand. “Maybe we could agree on a style at least,” he added with a laugh, but his eyes were fixed on Hoseok’s face and didn’t even stray when he laughed.

“Sure. But it's not a wedding dance, is it?” Hoseok smiled back. He didn't know why he said that, he should've walked away probably, but his body wanted to dance. 

With Hyungwon. 

He just began moving without thinking too much, dancing around Hyungwon teasingly.

“Whatever you want, Hoseok,” Hyungwon said with a smirk and took his hand back. Watching Hoseok for a few seconds more he adapted his style and moved smoothly to the side, doing a full reverse body wave and blowing him a kiss.

Hoseok knew that the lawyer had a sadistic personality. The other seemed determined to torture him, but on the other hand, two people could play the game. Hoseok closed his eyes, listening to the beat carefully, performed a double spin and finished the movement with a stroke up his thigh and a sensual hip thrust against his hand, smirking at Hyungwon in the process. 

The other dancer’s eyes widened and his gaze quickly moved away from Hoseok’s hands, as if they made him uncomfortable. Then the grin returned to his face and he smoothly slid into a spread legged position, leg performing a wave to the middle and back, hands resting on the thighs. The cheers of the crowd were deafening, music partially drowned by the screams. Hoseok closed his eyes and moved, sweat formed on his forehead and his bare arms, body feeling the beat, he loved it so much. 

The end of the song moved closer, both of them dancing with all their might, limbs moving smoothly and bodies rolling. At the last beat Hyungwon slid to his knees again, performing a turn such that he was right in front of Hoseok when the song ended, kneeling and staring at him, breath rough and mouth open partially, sucking in the oxygen like a drug.

“Fuck.” Hoseok couldn't help but curse at the other man messing up his mind and toying with his sanity again. 

“Preferably me,” the other whispered so quietly that Hoseok almost missed it. The lawyer didn’t look in control of himself either and definitely not as if he intended Hoseok to hear it. 

“I'll just act as if I didn't hear that.” Hoseok pulled him up and walked towards Changkyun, who was looking at them as if he saw something traumatic.

“Thank you for the soft porn. Now I'm gay.” He exclaimed and put another cocktail into Hoseok’s hand. 

Hyungwon looked rather resigned following Hoseok and not saying a word, very much unlike himself. He joined them at the little table Changkyun snatched, sitting down across from them and not throwing sarcastic comments at any of them. His fingers were playing with the leg of the cocktail glass Changkyun got him and he stared at the purple-yellow content inside of it.

“I think now I know what you meant by things escalating between you two.” Changkyun laughed looking at Hyungwon and Hoseok almost choked. Hyungwon talked to the boy about this, oh no. And what the fuck was this whole situation? Why was the lawyer even there in the first place? Hyungwon didn't answer and just poked the little cocktail umbrella into the liquid, mixing the two colours and crafting something brown and disgusting. 

“WHAT? Did you turn mute? Or can you only talk with your bodies?” Changkyun was going for embarrassing confrontation, that was clear. Hoseok didn't let Kkung provoke him, but Hyungwon looked up at both of them and sighed. 

“Of course I can talk Changkyun. I just didn't have anything to say.“ He looked like he was struggling to look at them, like he'd much rather place his gaze back to the colour mess that was his cocktail. 

“Well no shit, I thought you wanted be friends with Hoseok. That's not how you make friends Hyungwon.” Hoseok didn't know what kind of sick shit was happening in front of his eyes. Changkyun wasn't a person like that in the first place, he wondered what had happened between those two. 

Hyungwon laughed, but it was a bitter one. 

“That's true. The question is, do you even want to be friends with me Hoseok?” His eyes moved expectantly to Hoseok, as if he knew what answer he would get. “Despite…,” he broke off and gestured between them. “All this?”

“Is this some hidden camera prank? Your sense of humour is sick.” Hoseok still couldn't believe where all this was going. 

“You want to be friends with me?” He looked at the lawyer, still expecting a manic laugh or something from the same category. Instead of sarcasm he received an unsure gaze, the same vulnerable look he had seen on the lawyer before, eyes wide, lips slightly trembling and head nodding at his question.

What the fuck? It wasn't enough that he was hopelessly and painfully in love with a sadistic straight guy, now the straight guy wanted to be friends with him? 

Sure, how about giving him a huge as fuck sword and let Hyungwon stab him in the chest. Must be better in the longitudinal perspective. 

“Hoseok, but I understand if you don’t want to. I just-” Hyungwon paused again and took the first sip of his cocktail as if he needed it. “If you want me to stay away from you I will. I’ll try.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You walked out of my studio after all this and didn't call. What the fuck? I'm at the restroom.” It was too much emotion. Hoseok needed to calm down and stood up. The restroom was his only hope. He needed to think about what he should say, what would be a good answer.

The fact that Hyungwon just wanted to be friends after all of this meant that he didn't care. But on the other hand, Won had no idea that Hoseok was deeply in love. He had never told him about it. He stood up and went away, fast steps taking him further, out of the situation he wasn't prepared for.

  
  


***

 

Hyungwon couldn’t breathe. Seeing Hoseok after a full week of thinking about nothing else but him set his senses into overdrive. It didn’t even help that he had gotten off right before seeing him. His chest constricted painfully and he wanted to give the other man a hug, but it would have been so horribly out of place, considering how much he hurt Hoseok. 

The way the producer moved was otherworldly. Hyungwon wouldn’t have assumed that the same brain that produced such beautiful and emotional music was able to control a body as smoothly and sensibly as Hoseok did right in front of him on the dance floor. Crowds gathered just to gape at the way the producer interpreted the music with his body, each movement a different statement. 

When Hoseok’s eyes fell on his, widening in recognition Hyungwon’s fight or flight response kicked in, adrenaline spiking and the wish to just run out of the bar and hide in the gutter overwhelming. But he didn’t, he stayed right where he was, watching Hoseok thrust his hips upwards and take the air from his lungs, constricting them agonizingly and forcing Hyungwon to blink a few times to clear his eyes. He was a mess after this week and now not only Hoseok, but also Changkyun were going to be witnesses.

When the song ended and Hoseok quickly moved through the crowd Hyungwon did something stupid and implicitly challenged him by walking into the circle and beginning to move on his own. The feeling of the crowd cheering and Hoseok returning to watch him was accelerating. He wished he had been alone, so that he could have shown all the desperation he felt with his body. 

Dancing was like a drug to him, something he allowed himself once in awhile so that it didn’t take over him, consuming him and his decision making, forcing him to regret giving it up. Hoseok brought him out of his dancing induced bliss, joining the choreography, movements so much different from his own. Hyungwon wanted to stop dancing just to watch, but that would have been equivalent to waving a white flag. So he put more effort into it until the end of the song, watching the way Hoseok was standing there, sweaty and fucking beautiful, black bangs falling over his eyes, muscles back to what they have been like more than a month ago. Shit, Hyungwon wanted to jump him so badly.

Instead of ravishing the man in front of him he offered his hand. Proposing to dance together and at least synchronize their styles a little. Of course Hoseok had to provoke him by joking about the way he held out his hand and ignoring it, dancing around him provocatively instead. 

_ Of course.  _

Hyungwon couldn’t help but grin at the cat and mouse game they constantly played with each other, forgetting that he was usually the mouse. Joining the play he increased the frequency of his smooth movements, adjusting to Hoseok’s style and loving how the strong muscles of the other man were able to produce water-like body rolls. It was amazing, Hoseok should have been a dancer.

_ He should have been yours. _

Recognizing the last beats of the song Hyungwon dropped to his knees without thinking, swirling on the ground and fitting it perfectly with a step by Hoseok ending up right in front of the other man, kneeling. 

“Fuck,” Hoseok exclaimed, placing the mess that Hyungwon felt clouding his mind into one very simple word. 

“Preferably me,” he whispered before he could stop himself. Shit, Hoseok had obviously heard it judging by the surprised facial expression. 

The producer was stronger then him as usual, perfectly in control and just ignoring Hyungwon’s comment, lifting him up with one arm and walking over to the table where Changkyun had been waiting for them. Their common friend looked absolutely terrified. Of course, he hadn’t seen Hyungwon like this before. 

Damn.

Unable to look any of them in the eyes Hyungwon just sat down and stared at his drink, not listening to their conversation and hoping that either him or Hoseok would just disappear into thin air, making breathing easier. Unfortunately that didn’t happen and Changkyun decided to pry, being himself. Hyungwon attempted to evade as much as possible, but his best friend was out to hit the nail dead on. 

“Well no shit, I thought you wanted to be friends with Hoseok, that's not how you make friends.” Hyungwon wanted to die. The incredulous look mixed with hurt on Hoseok’s face was too much to take. As if Hyungwon had betrayed his whole family. The eyes narrowed and lips streched into a thin line, expressing the same pain. Damn, why was he always fucking everything up?

He couldn’t help but ask though. 

Finally focusing on Hoseok he asked the man he hurt repeatedly if he would even want to be friends with him in the first place, voice insecure and eyes shaking. A dumb question fuelled by his dumb attraction. 

_ Shit _ , he was so scared. Their relationship was such a mess. Suddenly being friends? How was that even supposed to work? What had Hyungwon been thinking? He couldn’t just hang out with Hoseok casually without wanting to feel his skin on his. 

_ Fuck. _

Hyungwon tried for damage control, pointing out that of course Hoseok wouldn’t have to be friends considering...whatever it was that they had going on between them.

Changkyun just sat across from him and watched the exchange, looking dead serious and intimidating. Hyungwon felt incredibly uncomfortable being scrutinised like that, wishing to just return to hiding away in his apartment and not seeing anyone. Dealing with the volume of his thoughts had been easier there, no outside world to make everything worse.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You walked out of my studio after all this and didn't call. What the fuck? I'm at the restroom,” Hoseok hissed at him. It hurt, the way Hoseok prefered to run away again instead of talking and Hyungwon flinched at the harshness of his voice. 

_ Of course Hyungwon, you fucking ran after he showed you something important to him. Friends don’t fucking do that!  _

Hoseok jumped up and turned into the direction of the restrooms, disappearing into the crowd quickly. 

“Fuck, Hoseok, wait!” he called after the other man but it was too late. Hyungwon attempted to swallow the lump building in his throat to no avail. 

“Hell, Changkyun. What am I supposed to do?” he hissed, head falling into his palms, before they closed around his drink again. Hyungwon was so fucking lost, he felt close to hyperventilating, fingers shivering around the glass he gripped with such force it was about to break in his hands.

“Well what would a friend do, Won?” Changkyun asked after taking a sip of his cocktail, eyes closed. Hyungwon didn’t even need a full second to answer that. 

“Run after him and talk. Clear misunderstandings.” 

Still, he wasn't able to do that. 

Changkyun didn’t know what happened when they were alone. He hadn't been there, he hadn't seen the intensity with which they interacted. Hyungwon was so on edge that he felt he would just squish Hoseok in his arms and cry like a little bitch although he had no fucking right to do that.

“But how come you're still here?” The intimidating look in the other man's eyes was unusual. Hyungwon smiled bitterly. 

“Because I might do something that both of us would regret and that wouldn’t solve anything,” he answered, sad smile plastered on and took a sip of his drink, standing up despite having said that he shouldn’t go. He wanted to go. After all leaving Hoseok once in such a situation was enough for a lifetime.

“But it wouldn’t be the first time that I don’t listen to my own advice.”

“Just go and talk about it for fuck’s sake.” Changkyun buried his face in his palms, not looking back. Hyungwon turned around, hitting his hand against the table, but not caring enough to check if it was okay. He pushed most of the dancers out of his way, trying to get to the restroom quickly before Hoseok decided to put a mask on or even slip out of the bar unnoticed. The lawyer just had to tell him the truth. Whatever that was. 

_ Just tell him that you want him for fuck’s sake. It’s the truth. _

Hyungwon ripped open the male restroom door and scared a poor guy who just packed his junk back into his pants and quickly left the establishment. Maybe he could tell that shit was about to get down and he better pack that pathetic dick of his away and fuck off. 

Damn, Hoseok better still be here. 

The other man was coming out of the cabin right at the moment Hyungwon barged in. Hoseok looked at him as if he was some ghost and walked backwards, attempting to escape again. Determined to not let the other man disappear Hyungwon walked towards him, shoving him the last bit into the cabin and closing the door. “We need to talk.”

_ Well that was a genius idea Hyungwon. Sure, considering you have difficulties to refrain from jumping him, entering a restroom cabin with him,alone, was the smartest thing you could have done. _

Hyungwon swallowed and tried not to stare too much at the way Hoseok filled out his clothes, black hair contrasting with the porcelain like skin, lips a beautiful reddish colour. 

“Why here?” Hoseok’s eyes were huge and he pressed himself against the wall, staring back at Hyungwon. He had a fucking point.

“Well,” Hyungwon started, feeling very awkward and at the same time intrigued by the way Hoseok pushed himself against the wall, jeans framing his thighs as if sculptured. “You ran here and then walked backwards, so I just acted without thinking too much.” His goal was to say the truth this time, so he did. 

“So I can go out right?” Hoseok tried to move his body past Hyungwon’s reaching for the lock. The lawyer quickly placed his hand on top of his. 

“Wait. Let's just talk like that since we're here already.” Hyungwon was a horrible person. He was afraid that Hoseok would just run away, but he also loved the close proximity. This was what he had been yearning for the past week, just a few centimetres separated them. 

“Okay," The other man pulled his hand back quickly and pressed himself against the wall again “Tell me then,” Hoseok finished and looked at the ground biting his lower lip. Shit, and now? Hoseok didn't even ask anything, how was he supposed to just serve his heart on a plate?

_ Hoseok did the exact same thing and you danced on top of it you stupid fuck.  _

“I can't forget you,” he finally squeezed out and hated how it sounded like a stupid romance comedy. This wasn't what he wanted to say at all. 

“Your face is constantly in front of my eyes and I can't concentrate or do something at least remotely useful.” Hyungwon took a deep breath. This was indeed the truth, just that he skipped the fact that he even fingered himself an hour ago imagining it was the man in front of him. 

Fuck. 

“I have no idea what that means, but I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I wasn't aware.” Hoseok looked up, still biting his lower lip, trying to find some explanation on Hyungwon’s face. “It's nice to see that you are well.” He smiled genuinely. 

Hyungwon couldn't believe this. How could Hoseok be such a fucking angel and still think he was at fault? Shit. Hyungwon wanted to hug him and never let him go.

“You didn't do anything wrong Hoseok. Fuck, when will you finally understand. I'm not fucking well.” Hyungwon's throat began constricting unpleasantly. Shit, he had to get his emotions under control. 

The other man moved a couple of centimetres closer to him, hand reached up to touch his arm, but hesitated and fell back to the side. Dark brown eyes looked at him with a worried expression.

“What happened Hyungwon-ah?” Hoseok’s eyes were glued to his face. 

How oblivious could a person be? Hyungwon had thought that he was slow in grasping what's going on between them, but Hoseok’s caring voice, body warmth emanating from the proximity but not quite touching him, beat it easily. Hoseok was going to make him crack before he even understood why his self control was cracking in the first place. The producer had no idea what he was doing to him. 

“Me trying to stay away from you for your own sake happened and I can't fucking do it,” he spat, eyes burning and Hoseok’s body blurring in front of him. Fuck. 

“Why would you stay away for my sake?” Hoseok’s expression changed, the worried look disappeared and a bitter smile played around the corners of his lips. Hyungwon blinked, causing a tear to roll down his cheek. Fuck, why the hell was he crying? He had managed just a few moments ago but Hoseok’s smile made him want to rip his heart out. He swallowed to remove the knot in his throat, but it stayed, just like his inability to hold a decent conversation. 

Shit, crying was unpleasant. 

“Fuck why are you crying? Won, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, shit.” Hoseok’s hand moved to his face, stroking the tear away with his thumb, looking as if he was touching something incredibly precious, again. How was Hyungwon supposed to deal with him if he acted like that? So fucking tender and always blaming himself. 

“I'm sorry, I'm just so fucking stupid. It physically hurts. I'm sorry Hoseok for being such a dick and just fucking off. I loved your studio.” Hyungwon just mumbled whatever came to his mind, unable to control his emotions and just crying stupidly in front of Hoseok.

“I really didn't know I hurt you, I… tell me what I can do to make it better?” Hoseok just dried his tears that fell down one after the other, gaze worried and glued to his face. Hyungwon probably looked like shit when he cried but couldn't do anything about it. 

His sob got stuck in his throat at Hoseok’s words. Shit, he couldn't just answer that. The selfishness in Hyungwon screamed at him to tell Hoseok to kiss him, just forget everything emotional and melt in the other man's arms, not thinking of consequences, but he couldn't do that to Hoseok. Not again.

“Hoseok, you didn't hurt me. I hurt you and to not make it worse I stayed away. I thought you would want that,” he explained, forcing himself to be truthful and not jump Hoseok like he wanted to. The other man's lips were so close it constricted his lungs. 

“You staying away hurt so much more though. Don't worry about me, I'm okay.” Hoseok’s voice got really quiet in the end and he removed his gaze looking down on the ground, taking in a deep breath. 

Hyungwon gave up and moved his arms around the other man, pressing him closer to his chest and breathing in the strong scent. It was the same as when Hyungwon had been at his studio, he would recognize it anywhere by now. Shit, he had missed this so much. 

The other man's body shivered under his touch, muscles flexing. 

“What is this?” Hoseok whispered. 

“I couldn't help it. I also never asked you why you hugged me before,“ Hyungwon whispered back and lifted his right arm to stroke Hoseok’s hair. Shit, he wanted Hoseok to be happy, but he couldn't give him what he wanted. The lawyer felt strong arms curling around his waist, pressing him closer, Hoseok’s hands grabbing the fabric of his shirt, holding onto it, too afraid to let go. 

Hyungwon had to get it out. He couldn't just continue taking what he wanted from Hoseok, draining him and leaving him to bleed when it was all over. Taking another deep breath of Hoseok’s hair he swallowed and tried his best to say it right. 

“Hoseok, I want you. I want you so much, but I'm afraid that the way you want me is a different one.” It was amazing how right at this moment Hyungwon didn't feel the need to be sexually close to Hoseok, he just wanted to kiss his face and hug him until that sad smile finally turned into a genuine one. It was hard to understand, even for himself. 

Hoseok looked up. 

“Is that what you're afraid of?” He smiled. “You think I didn't know?” Hyungwon shook his head. Of course Hoseok knew, he's the one who kept up his pretence after all, making Hyungwon believe he was in it for the sex. 

“I just don't want to hurt you Hoseok. I like you too much for that.” That was also true. If Hyungwon wanted something he usually didn't care who he had to step over to get there, as long as it was reasonable. He had never been so worried about someone else's well being as he was with Hoseok. Of course Changkyun thought he had lost his fucking mind. 

“I'm happy when you are next to me, but you are free to leave whenever you feel like it.“ The smile stayed on the beautiful pale face, while his hands were stroking Hyungwon’s back. “I gain so much from you that I'm not afraid of getting hurt, it's okay. I'll cite lawyer Chae Hyungwon: Let it be my fucking choice,” Hoseok explained, loosened the grip on Hyungwon’s shirt and stepped back. 

The lawyer couldn't help but laugh at his own words being thrown back at him. Hoseok was right, they were both adults and could make their own choices. It even felt ironic that they had stood in a tight restroom cabin together and cried like idiots. 

“I can't believe we just fucking cried in a club restroom cabin. Shit, this is as close to crying in the club as it gets.” He looked around incredulously and felt mildly disgusted at its state. 

“Still better than crying on Changkyun’s shoulder,” Hoseok said, words barely audible and turned around to reach for the lock. Hyungwon stepped to the side as well as he could and wondered how bad Hoseok must have suffered after he left.   


“Well his shoulder is probably less bony than mine at least.” He directed a warm smile at Hoseok, hoping the other would feel better. 

“I don't know about bony but let me say those couple of minutes you locked me in here were a fucking try not to snap challenge.” Hoseok grinned and turned the lock. Hyungwon followed him out and laughed out loud, removing a few stray strands from his eyes. 

“Who are you telling? I'm surprised I didn't ride your dick in the first 5 minutes or something.” Walking over to the sink he washed his hands, just in case, and realized they had scared off another poor guy who left the bathroom in a hurry. Sorry not sorry. 

“Wait what?” Hoseok made a choking noise but managed. Fuck, had Hyungwon just said that out loud, just like that? Shit. 

“Shit, I said that out loud didn't I?” He hid his face in his hands while drying them and hoped that Hoseok wouldn't confront him too much. Unless it involved his hands or mouth, then please. 

“Well just when I thought my imagination couldn't make me suffer more...” Hoseok dried his hands and chuckled. 

“Changkyun is probably waiting for us,” Hyungwon pointed out, leaning against the sink and waiting for Hoseok to finish up. Shit the other man was way too hot for his own good. Those pants were illegal. 

“Fuck don't do that to me Won. Just wear a potato sack or something, I'm suffering.” Hoseok whined loudly and walked towards the door brushing his bangs back, gaze moving up and down Hyungwon’s figure. Hoseok should fucking see himself.

“You’re the one talking Hercules. I didn't touch weights this week, so you could probably throw me to the other end of the hall.“

“I have better ideas though.” Hoseok smirked. Nasty Hoseok was back in town and Hyungwon wanted to get on his knees and praise his return. 

Fuck. 

“Now I'm curious,“ he smirked back and stayed leaning against the sink, watching Hoseok. 

The other man closed the distance and leaned in until his lips were almost touching Hyungwon’s ear lobe. “I might show you, if you ask nicely.” Hoseok breathed hot air in his ear.

Hyungwon was fucking losing it. He could feel the colour in his face and didn't give a shit if he was begging. He had been about to die the whole week, unable to think about anything but Hoseok. Getting the edge off without the other man only helped until the personified sin appeared in front of him.

“Fuck, Hoseok, please show me,” he breathed back, hand resting on Hoseok’s chest, amazed at how much muscle the producer regained in a week.

Another bearded bar patron entered and threw them a judging look before he disappeared in a cabin. The way the man had looked at them had been rather depreciating.

“I will, but not here, that's not your level. You're worth so much more.” Hoseok placed a small kiss on his lips, grabbed his long fingers and led Hyungwon out of the restroom. The lawyer’s heart filled with something warm and he felt strangely happy just seeing how the other man was feeling so much better. 

“Sure I'm the majesty. Keep it up to standards,” he answered and laughed.

“Yup, and I'm your slave.” Hoseok grinned at him and squeezed his hand before letting go. Hyungwon really wanted to believe that everything was going to return to how it was, but Hoseok’s comment alone was sufficient to refute that. The object of his attraction was a masochist and the lawyer was just going to go with it, selfishly and unable to stop himself. 

Hoseok calling himself his slave evoked a bitter taste that he couldn't swallow down, but he just smiled and followed, hoping that his emotions would settle and he would be able to return to the semi-carefree way he felt around Hoseok before.

_ Don’t lie to yourself Hyungwon, it won’t ever be the same. _   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you enjoyed our chapter dear fellow Hyungwonho shippers. Hope you're ready for what's to come!
> 
> We're always glad to read your comments and remarks <3
> 
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> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moving mass reminded him of his own situation. Why did he keep finding himself in scenarios he didn't control? There was always something moving around him, something he couldn't quite capture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone, get new panties ready.
> 
> Eomma Mianhae. Seriously.
> 
> DID YOU SEE THE MAMA PERFORMANCE? Embrace your thirst through this chapter.
> 
> We love you <3333

Hoseok was mad. 

He didn’t think think that he would feel like that towards Hyungwon, but the other teased him back on the dancefloor and followed him to the restroom, closing him in a cabin and not letting him out. Hoseok really didn’t want to lose control and standing there in the tiny space next to the man who was dressed like sin didn’t help at all. 

Then something happened that Hoseok never considered possible. The other stood there and told him he left his studio, for his, for Hoseok’s sake. 

What the actuall fuck? Why couldn’t Hyungwon let him decide himself whether he liked it to be tortured or not.   
  
Then Hyungwon cried. There was no reason for it, no obvious fact, just tears running down those beautiful cheeks, letting Hoseok gasp in surprise. He was at fault, everything was his fault, he was not joking when he said that he would be sorry to Hyungwon, for everything the beautiful man wanted him to be sorry for. 

A hand reached up, the touch blurred his vision and made everything else disappear. Hyungwon’s arms brought him closer but he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything, he just hugged back and cried like an idiot.    
  
It was as if Hyungwon cried to leave all shyness and tenderness behind and turn into fucking sin. Fuck Eva’s crappy apple and all that, Hyungwon was telling him he wanted to ride his dick in a public bathroom. 

Where was the crying person from before, what the fuck was happening?   
  
Unfortunately his dick was absolutely into Hyungwon being like this. His slim figure leaning against the sink didn’t help at all and Hoseok almost snapped. The only thought bringing him down from this terrible idea was the fact that Hyungwon was probably drunk or something and would regret everything the next day. His behaviour just didn’t make any sense and Hoseok thought of it as a really bad joke.    
  
They went back to Changkyun, who looked so done with them both that he said he would go home, but Hyungwon just kept smiling at him fondly.   
  
“You both kinda make me sick in a way I can’t explain,” Changkyun exclaimed and wanted to go after a girl with, indeed beautiful breasts. The girls loved Kkung, he was cute and sin at the same time, that lucky bastard. 

Hyungwon threw one of his famous judgemental expressions at Changkyun and stood up, waving the disgusting liquid from before around. “Maybe you should keep Hoseok some more company while I'll get myself another drink that doesn't have the colour of vomit.” Then he stalked over to the bar, jeans hugging his legs just the right way.

Hoseok used the time to get some things straight.    
  
“Listen. I don’t want to be creepy or anything, but Won is your close friend right? Is he someone who cries easily?” Hoseok asked Changkyun casually. He needed to know what the situation meant and whether the other man was just stressed out by something and attempted to free himself of the burden.    
  
“Sure he cries. But only from laughing at other people’s misery.“ Changkyun looked annoyed. “You both make me want to slap someone,” he added. “What is this cock-blocking anyway, now I can’t even score properly because you’re involving me in the process of becoming so called ‘Friends’.”

Changkyun was sweating sarcasm.   
  
Hoseok pinched the boy’s nipple and nudged him in the direction of the girl that Changkyun wanted to walk after before the whole conversation started. 

His hypothesis had been confirmed.   
  
He thought about the meaning of all this while stirring the fluid in his glass. The moving mass reminded him of his own situation. Why did he keep finding himself in scenarios he didn’t control? There was always something moving around him, something he couldn’t quite capture. 

Why was Hyungwon behaving like this? Why did he walk away in the first place? Why did he lock him in a fucking restroom cabin and cry, telling him he liked him too much to hurt him? This wasn’t some drama, and it didn’t qualify to be one after the dick riding comment anyway.   


A beautiful gin mixture with hints of red and pink landed in front of him on the table, next to his almost empty one. 

“You come here often?” a familiar deep voice asked, words slurred on purpose. Hyungwon sat down next to him, eyebrow raised and grin on his lips, a green and blue cocktail in his left hand.   
  
As William Shakespeare once said, ‘Fuck’. Why was Hyungwon like this? Why did he rile him up so much? The lawyer probably thought it was fun.   
  
“No, I don’t cum in public places.” Hoseok grinned and took a sip. “Tell me how you’ve been, did you think about me?” Hoseok wanted to know. It didn't make any sense, he didn’t get why Won was sitting next to him provoking him with all his might. 

_ Maybe Hyungwon misses your body or something, but why would he though? _

“Sure, my dick didn't really react to anything else.” Again Hyungwon grinned, taking a sip from his drink and licking his lips. 

_ Bingo _ .    
  
“Don’t provoke me.” Hoseok was not okay with the other man being so blunt. Hyungwon smiled and relaxed his features, making them less teasing and placing an arm around Hoseok’s shoulders. 

“How much longer do you intend on staying here after finishing that drink?” he asked and took a long sip of his, before sliding it over the bar, signalling he was done with it, arm still calmly lying on Hoseok’s shoulders.

Hyungwon probably realized the effect he had on Hoseok and wanted him to suffer. There was no other possibility. But Hoseok wouldn’t, at least while other people were watching them.    
  
“I’ll go home after this one. I’ll have to get a cab though and then I’ll take a shower.” Fuck he needed a shower and preferably to jerk off to the image of Hyungwon riding his dick. He hated the lawyer for planting it inside of his head in the first place. 

“Are you here by car or were you planning on drinking?” The smile on Hyungwon's face looked a little dangerous.   
  
Did he look like he planned on drinking? He probably did. 

“I said I needed a cab didn’t I? My car is at home.” Hoseok had trouble concentrating on his speech, having the warm arm on his shoulder. It had only been a week of abstinence, one week of not touching the other man, sucking in his scent and tasting him. He felt so overwhelmed at the thoughts that his breath almost got stuck in his throat.    
  
Hyungwon put some more weight on Hoseok’s shoulders, as if oblivious to his internal struggle. 

“Why would you bother with a cab?” he asked casually, large hands squeezing his shoulder. “I live close by. Just let me drive you.” The lawyer took the colourful cocktail from his hands and pushed it in the direction of his own, standing lonely on the side and waiting to be picked up by the bartender.    
  
Hoseok ignored the siren in his head as a ride home was nothing to be afraid of and agreed. 

Pressed into the leather seat of Hyungwon’s BMW, he thought about that one time the lawyer was cock-blocking and didn’t let him have what he wanted. Actually he did let him have what he wanted, only without being aware of it. Hoseok sucked in the scent of the car, smelling so much like the body he was craving for and sighed. 

He tried to avoid looking to the left, but his body didn't want to comply.   
  
The way Hyungwon grabbed the steering wheel with one hand looked hot by itself, but the spread legged position and those illegal clothes made it almost impossible to look away. Hoseok was fucking hooked. He prepared himself with a lot of inner thoughts and iron resolutions. The plan was to get out of the fucking car without touching the other man. But he looked so much like sin and he was driving, which meant he was sober.   
  
_Why was he like this then?_   


The lawyer kept his eyes on the road, long fingers on the wheel and smiled slightly. Speeding up and moving into the direction of their apartments the city lights threw a shadow over his face, painting colourful patterns and emphasizing his jaw. As if time passed without Hoseok realizing Hyungwon slid the car into a designated parking spot which was not in his apartment building and also not in his parking garage. 

“You know Hoseok, how do you feel about just coming up with me and I'll offer you something that doesn't taste like piss? I'll just drive you home later, whenever you feel like it.” Hyungwon sounded casual again, unbuckling his belt and opening the car door, long body already moving out before Hoseok could answer.    
  
_ Fuck this. Just fuck everything. Just go up there, Hyungwon is an adult, it’s not the first time he is provoking you and he seems like he knows exactly what he’s doing. You can drink something and go home.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Can you? _ _   
_ __   
It was a little pathetic, but Hoseok just dumped the thought and joined the lawyer in the fancy elevator, leaving too little space between their bodies on purpose, to test out what the fuck was going on anyway.

Hyungwon stayed calm, leaning against the railing, legs partially stretched out and head pressed against the mirror, watching him. Grasping past Hoseok he pressed the 14, before returning to his position and smiling brightly.  _   
_ __   
The smile made his insides turn, but the other was not trying to mess with his sanity on purpose.

Maybe he was really going to get some tasty alcohol and go home, trying to forget about Hyungwon and failing. A nice evening, not different from the last couple of days. And weeks.

The elevator interrupted his thoughts, signalling their arrival. Hyungwon pushed away from the railing and walked towards his apartment, shoes soundless on the soft carpet. Opening the door with his code hastily, Hyungwon stepped to the side, holding the door open and inviting him in, smiling playfully.    
  
Hoseok’s skin felt like he was part of an electrical network. Everything tingled and the tension was unbearable. But it was the tension coming from inside of him, he had to deal with it alone. 

_ Just get your drink and fuck off Hoseok.  _   
  
“Show me what you got?” Hoseok wanted to know whether Hyungwon had something nice to drink. The lawyer was still leaning against the entrance, staring at him standing in his entry way and raised an eyebrow. 

Hyungwon stepped away and closed the door, fingers barely grazing the handle. When the door locked with a soft click he turned and walked towards Hoseok, watching him every step of the way, eyes unmoving and strangely intense. It didn't even take a second before Hyungwon pushed his shoulders against the wall, covering his mouth with his own, towering over him. His right hand moved next to Hoseok’s head, trapping him with his arms and body.    
  
The sensation struck him like lightning, he hadn’t expected expect it at all. Those beautiful plump lips moving over his own, he didn't even want to lie to himself, it felt like heaven.

_ Fuck it. Just let it go, just... _

Hoseok grabbed the thin shoulders and kissed back as well as he could, fighting a war over what was the right thing to do in a situation like this, resources vanishing at the speed of light. The lawyer didn't intend on giving him a break though, moaning into his mouth, moving his right leg between Hoseok’s, brushing against his crotch.

“What the fuck are you doing Chae Hyungwon? Is this some kind of sick revenge?” Hoseok managed to moan between the kisses. Hyungwon bit his lower lip, pulling it lightly with his teeth. 

“No Hoseok, this is me being fucking desperate for your body.” 

Resolution? What did that even mean? Not touching? How the fuck was that even possible? 

_ Just throw it out, everything.  _

“What…what do you want? Just take it all.” Speaking was difficult, pronouncing words was hard, but it was the truth. Hoseok just wanted to give everything, right there, adding up on thousands of regrets piling up in the back of his head, not accessible for his brain anymore. 

Hyungwon hissed, hand moving around Hoseok’s waist and pulling him closer, obviously affected by the words. Impatiently pulling at Hoseok’s shirt he didn't leave Hoseok’s lips, tongue exploring his mouth, as if he wanted to leave permanent traces.

“Fuck, get naked Hoseok.”

“If you want something you have to ask nicely, Hyungwon-ah.” His mouth just spilled those words like a mantra. Hyungwon scoffed, leaving his lips just long enough to pull the shirt over Hoseok’s head and kiss the skin on his neck, moving down over his chest, sinking to his knees. His hands skipped smoothly over Hoseok’s abs and stopped at his jeans, easily opening them and slipping them down without waiting any longer, including trunks and sliding all of it completely off his legs. 

Hoseok couldn't even take a breath before Hyungwon closed his lips around his erection, hands holding his hips and sucking from the base upwards.

“Fuck what is going on?” In the end it was just a low moan that escaped his mouth as Hoseok was trying to articulate. It felt like the air was sucked out of his lungs. He grabbed Hyungwon’s hair and pulled lightly. Deepthroating him once Hyungwon apparently decided it was enough, as he let the erection fall from his mouth and stood up, grabbing Hoseok’s hand and leading him to the living room. Pulling him into his arms he kissed him, arms around his waist and bodies flush. 

“Listen, I have no idea what’s going on. Won I'm losing my mind, don't do this to me.”

Hyungwon didn't say a word yet and Hoseok didn't plan on moving on without getting at least a little bit of information about what kind of situation he was in. Hyungwon paused, arms still tightly around his waist and lips brushing his. 

“I'm sorry, you just drive me absolutely mad and I can't help it,” he whispered, hands stroking from Hoseok’s ribs to his hips. 

“Fuck, if you knew. This is my state 24/7. I need extra resources to deal with you dressed next to me in social situations.” He pulled the lawyer closer and breathed into his neck, also sucking in the intoxicating scent, slowly giving up. 

On everything.

Hyungwon chuckled, deep voice vibrating at the area Hoseok’s lips touched. 

“Can't wait to see you when I'm naked then,” the lawyer commented and kissed his head, grinning. His fingers were still stroking Hoseok’s sides.

He couldn't help it. Actually he didn't even want to help it, he didn't give a flying fuck about all that when he cupped the lawyer’s face and kissed every spot he could find, whispering random embarrassing bullshit like ‘It's like heaven, fuck’ and ‘if I look at you like this, ah nevermind’. Hyungwon was so ethereal, everything about him made Hoseok question reality. 

Placing another kiss on Hoseok’s lips, keeping it simple, Hyungwon led him to the chair he had occupied a bit more than a month ago. 

“Sit down. I've got a present for you. Actually it's not really a present but-” Hyungwon interrupted himself looking slightly shy, face coloured and eyes shining. “Whatever, you'll see.”

Fuck, now he had a present. Hoseok honestly hoped Hyungwon would just get an automatic gun and shoot him in the face, because he was more prepared and ready to get shot down than for whatever Hyungwon thought would be a good present. 

Ignoring Hoseok’s internal struggles as usual, Hyungwon stepped away and his gaze changed, shyness dissipating, fingers brushing over that black shirt he was wearing, closing around the fabric and slowly uncovering his stomach and chest. Separating from the piece of cloth he threw it to the ground, hands moving over his shoulders and abs instead. The lawyer breathed in, torturing Hoseok further by slipping his hand inside his tight jeans, bulge obvious and eyes closing in bliss. 

“Do that again and I can't guarantee anything,” Hoseok managed to press out of his lungs, using up the rest of his resources left to suck in oxygen. Hyungwon smirked, slipping the hand back out and opening the button of his jeans, pulling them down his endless legs. 

“You better keep yourself in check cause that wasn't the present yet Hoseok. Like what you see?”

“What kind of a fucked up question is that?” Hoseok buried his hands into the poor chair, knuckles white from the effort.    
  
“I just need positive feedback to do this,” Hyungwon whispered, finally naked and pushing the clothes he took off to the side. Turning, he walked over to the fucking bar counter and jumped, sitting down on it, right hand moving downwards over his skin, legs spreading at the same time. 

“Fuck, if you are here to make me suffer, then great success! You look…fuck, if you knew...” If Hyungwon only knew for real what he did to Hoseok. This whole thing provoked so much at the same time that Hoseok tried to concentrate on breathing only. The beautiful lawyer ignored his struggles, again, hand moving smoothly between his legs and circling around his dick. 

“Tell me Hoseok-ah, how do I look?” His tone was teasing but his face still blushed, showing he was embarrassed. 

“You look like sin Won, like beautiful, ethereal, unbelievably hot fucking sin. I'm going to hell for the stuff I'm thinking right now and I don't even give a fuck. That's how you look like.” He felt like bursting. Hyungwon sucked in a breath, hand still moving over his erection, strokes slow, torturing himself in addition to Hoseok, teeth restlessly biting his lips and left hand stroking his thigh. 

“Hoseok?” Hyungwon asked, face a beautiful pink and big eyes focusing on Hoseok’s expression. 

“Yes.” The tension was not only on his side, everything was filled with damp air, so hard to breathe. 

“Do you -” Hyungwon moaned at the way his hand moved over the tip. ”Do you remember what you told me when we were at your studio?”

He remembered every fucking word. He also remembered every image and every movement, every touch, his memory was his worst enemy since forever. 

“You don't look as if you need me to show you anything.” Hoseok smirked. The lawyer's eyes widened in response, hand stopping it's strokes. He looked a little unsure before he lifted his left hand from his thigh and placed the middle and index finger into his mouth, soaking them and not saying a word. Removing them from his lips, still staring he spread his legs a little wider, getting comfortable. 

He smirked. 

“Do you remember what you wanted to see me doing on your desk? I hope the counter will suffice.”

Hoseok wanted to die from a heart attack.

Just something that would do its job fast and not torture him like this beautiful sadistic human on the bar counter. 

“Listen I remember every fucking thing, I have major trouble staying seated right now. What did I do to get tortured like that?”

Hyungwon shifted, hips lifting slightly and eyes still wide. 

“But I haven't even started yet.” His teeth bit down on his lower lip again and he moved the soaked fingers between his legs, eyes not leaving Hoseok although he was obviously embarrassed. 

“I tried it. Today. Thinking of you. Wishing it was you,” he elaborated, voice barely more than a whisper, hiss separating each sentence. 

_ What were you thinking coming up here Hoseok? _

“You listen up Chae Hyungwon. You have exactly two minutes to show me your present until I snap.” He wasn't joking and he also had’t planned on saying it. His brain had just calculated the time until his sanity disappeared somewhere Hyungwon’s fingers were aiming at. 

Motivated by his words the lawyer closed his eyes, obviously too embarrassed to actually look at Hoseok when he inserted his index finger, hissing at the sensation, shiver moving over his back. Pausing for a second, breathing in and out he changed the angle and groaned, head hitting the wall, dick twitching and thigh muscles contracting.

Hoseok didn't even try to suppress the low moans echoing through the open space. Again and again Hyungwon was throwing everything he imagined in the gutter, giving him a taste of what it was like in reality. Sitting there and watching the lawyer was pure torture. He wanted to touch Hyungwon, to do things to him, make him beg and fall apart under his fingers. He wanted it so much that his brain started producing reasons to stand up and fuck those three minutes. 

_ And Hyungwon.  _

Repeatedly stimulating himself and obviously hitting dead on, Hyungwon moaned, head writhing. When an intense shiver ran visibly over his legs he gasped and paused his movements, opening his eyes. His cock was so hard, it looked painful. 

“Fuck the three minutes and do it yourself Hoseok. I don't want to cum before you touch me,” he moaned and pulled his fingers out, thighs visibly shivering from the sensations. His hand pointed towards the depths of the apartment. “Bedroom, bottom drawer.”   
  
Hoseok snapped. He needed two seconds to close the distance to the man sitting on the counter. Hands curled around the lawyer’s waist and pulled him into Hoseok’s arms.    


“You’re coming with me.” Unsuspecting, Hyungwon immediately held on to Hoseok and buried his face in his neck, hot breath tickling his collarbone.    
  
Hoseok held onto the warm lean body and walked towards the bedroom.

  
***

 

Getting Hoseok into his apartment had been the first item on Hyungwon's list for the evening. Talking to the other man and being told that he could very well make his own decisions had felt liberating, despite the constant reminders that they had different motivations for their actions. 

Standing in the entryway and seeing how unsuspecting and calm Hoseok had been when he asked Hyungwon to ‘show him what he got’ was enough to remove all thoughts of being a civilised human being from the lawyer’s brain. If Hoseok didn't want something he was going to tell him, right? 

Pushing the producer into the wall, knee gently placed between his legs and finally tasting those lips with his, Hyungwon felt like he was losing himself. He had been yearning to touch Hoseok and feel the other man's body on his so much that actually having it all seemed surreal. 

So he did the only thing he was capable of and jumped him, making sure the source of his inability to think was sufficiently turned on and didn't want to leave but enjoyed Hyungwon's presence instead. 

Only when Hoseok was next to him was his living room habitable. Hyungwon didn't feel any worries or hesitation at entering the comfortably furnished space and holding Hoseok in his arms, gently stroking his naked body and enjoying the contrast between them. Luckily the producer had stopped him, confused about his actions and forced him to explain himself, thereby calming Hyungwon down enough to know what he wanted. It was simple, really, he wanted what Hoseok wanted. 

Almost.

The lawyer still felt guilt gnaw at his conscience, looking at the way Hoseok gazed up at him, soft and so unbelieving that he was allowed to feel this way. It was overwhelming. Hyungwon wanted to continue giving him everything he wanted and more, keeping the sadness out of the porcelain like facial features. Hoseok was beautiful and the lawyer had no idea how he had been able to survive a week without seeing him. 

Wanting to fulfil Hoseok’s wishes brought him to one simple thought, namely the memory of what Hoseok had wanted to see the last time they met. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to not get embarrassed and did what he had developed as his personal skill. He stripped slowly in front of Hoseok, teasing himself and finally sat down on the bar counter. The same counter he had sat on before, watching Hoseok touch himself. The memory alone was sufficient to motivate Hyungwon to give Hoseok everything he might want and more.

He was addicted.

Helping the other man to remember, although it wasn't necessary, he moved his index and middle finger to his mouth, coating them both extensively in saliva to not hurt himself. If he was really going to finger himself in front of Hoseok he better do it right, even without lube. Struggling to not lose himself in the simultaneous sensations of his fingers stroking his cock he just whispered whatever his brain threw his way. How much he wanted Hoseok and how he had wished it was him when he had touched himself a few hours ago. 

“You listen up Chae Hyungwon. You have exactly three minutes to show me your present until I snap,” Hoseok’s voice pushed through the heavy cloud of arousal that surrounded Hyungwon. His heart rate picked up even more and the fact that Hoseok was sitting in front of him and about to discard his self control was enough to finally breach himself, index finger slipping in and face turning away, too embarrassed for eye contact. 

Changing the angle with the rhythm of his strokes Hyungwon felt like pleasure spiked up from his spinal cord, spreading in his lower body like lava, filling everything out and taking his ability to think coherently. Shit, there was nothing he wanted more than for Hoseok to stabilize him and do whatever the fuck he wanted. 

So he told him exactly that. The location of his lube was just a helpful fact in the equation. 

Breathless and thigh muscles flexing Hyungwon glanced towards Hoseok, expecting him to walk out towards the bedroom in an heroic demonstration of self control that Hyungwon didn't possess. However the other man went against the concept of time and space, basically materializing in front of the lawyer and pulling him into his arms, warmth engulfing him and Hoseok’s calming scent filling his nose. Hyungwon had never felt as peaceful next to someone as he felt at that moment.

Perceiving how Hoseok walked somewhere the lawyer just held on tighter, unwilling to separate as soon as they reached their destination. It was as if Hoseok shared the predicament. The muscular man sat down on his bed, placing Hyungwon’s body on his lap. Hands went up his sides and stopped after reaching his face, stroking gentle lines along the jaw.   
  
“Fuck, I need to calm down,” Hoseok breathed out. Hyungwon kept his arms in place, kissing Hoseok’s neck and jaw, moving from his cheeks to his lips. 

“Why?” he asked. Hoseok losing himself was exactly what he had wanted, so why would the other man try to control himself now? Now that Hyungwon had invested so much effort to lure him out. He placed another simple kiss on the producer's lips. 

“Because you’re driving me crazy.” Hoseok grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, naked skin touching extensively, the other man's erection pressing against his ass. 

“Fuck”, Hyungwon hissed, the sensation hitting him unexpectedly. “Hoseok, but the feeling is mutual. Isn't it okay if both of us feel this way?” The reason sounded logical to him. After all they were both grown up adults and could make decisions. If the other person wasn't in control then why bother with your own? 

“What is your control even for?” the lawyer whispered pressing himself down on Hoseok’s erection and savoring the way the other man moaned in his face.   
  
“My self control? It’s important. It prevents me from acting out what my dick considers good ideas.” The hips under Hyungwon shifted and sent another spike through his body. 

“Point taken. But sometimes your dick has pretty good ideas.” Hyungwon moved his hands between Hoseok’s legs and gave the other man's erection a few strokes, still amazed at how it felt in his hand. “It's also pretty beautiful and I can honestly tell you that I didn't really give a shit about what dicks looked like before.“ Hyungwon had the weird suspicion that he was talking an uncharacteristically great amount, possibly even some things he might regret afterwards, when his body wasn't screaming at him to unify himself with Hoseok.    
  
Hoseok grabbed his hand and stopped it from stroking the beautiful erection, long fingers leaving it reluctantly. The other man looked at him and his expression transformed from one second to the other. 

“Would you be a good boy for me? There is something I really want to do and you have to help me.” Hoseok had probably lost the battle against his sanity and shit Hyungwon loved every second of it already.

“Whatever you say Hoseok, I'll do it. Because I want to,” Hyungwon hoped that he didn't sound as eager and desperate as he was. He wanted the other man to know that he was aware of his actions, as uncharacteristic as they were. Just a week ago he had been so fucking hesitant about a lot of things, but his obsession with and attraction to Hoseok had brought him here. 

Hoseok reached for the bottom drawer, his memory must have really been extraordinary to remember stuff like this in that kind of situation. The bottle clicked open and the other man coated his index and middle finger in lube, looking concentrated. Hyungwon heart attempted to jump out of his chest.

“Oh my god”, he whispered watching Hoseok’s fingers, mind completing the next steps of the behavioural pattern. He couldn't believe he was in this situation, actually going through with it. He had been almost delirious and so desperate before, fuck he still was, but the reality of it all actually involving Hoseok remained beyond his grasp. He was actually present and not a mental image Hyungwon had created to torture himself. 

“I still can't believe you're real.”   
  
Dark brown eyes were staring up at him, a little hidden under the raven black bangs. A pink tongue licked over the full red lips slowly, accompanied by a little smile. 

“I really want you to kiss me right now,” Hoseok whispered, gaze glued to his face, right hand moving behind him.

_ Oh my fucking god.  _

Hyungwon tried his best to keep his eyes on Hoseok’s face, panic kept under the surface and kissing the other man as requested. The contact was much more calming than Hyungwon had anticipated, lips soft and warm, tender even. He wished he could see Hoseok smile.    
  
The other man’s warm tongue was exploring his mouth while lube coated fingers found their destination. Hoseok spread his legs, automatically spreading Hyungwon’s in the process and slid one finger in, slowly licking over Hyungwon’s lower lip, using the free hand to push his upper body closer. The sensation was so much different when someone else did it, unexpected and a little more intrusive. Hyungwon shifted, adapting to the minimal discomfort and sucked Hoseok’s lower lip into his mouth to occupy himself, not thinking about the fact that the other man had just pushed a finger inside him. He himself hadn't really dared to go beyond his knuckles.    
  
“Fuck you feel so nice.” Hoseok moaned, adjusting the angle. “I want to see you ride it.” The low voice sent shivers down Hyungwon’s spine, adding to the change of angle and the immediate spark that spread through his lower body, taking his breath away, his own gasps echoing in his ears. 

“And if you need more, you can ask,  _ nicely, _ ” Hoseok moaned emphasizing the last word.

_ Oh fuck.  _

No matter how many times Hyungwon had thought Hoseok couldn't surprise him anymore and how he was prepared for the other man's dominant side - he was wrong every fucking time. Hoseok’s words echoed in his head, reminding him of what he had asked of him. 

_ You're supposed to ride his fingers Hyungwon.  _

Taking a deep breath Hyungwon lifted his hips, resting his weight on Hoseok’s strong shoulders and feeling how the finger slowly slid out of him, not uncomfortable but strange. Covering the other man's lips with his own he let himself slide back down on his lap, fingers hitting inside him dead-on and causing him to scream into Hoseok’s mouth. 

Holy shit he hadn't been prepared for this. Fuck. 

Not even hesitating for a second he repeated the movement, unable to deny his body the pleasure. 

“Shit Hoseok, I'm going to die like this,” he gasped, legs shivering from the sensations, thighs tight.    
  
“No, I’m going to die like this,” Hoseok moaned and broke the kiss. His free hand wandered towards his mouth, each finger slipping in and out, wet with saliva. A look into his eyes and the hand went right down to Hyungwon’s erection, strong wet fingers curling around it, moving up and down slowly. Hyungwon felt the awareness of his behaviour slowly leave his grasp, nails scraping along Hoseok’s shoulders and moans uncontrolled. 

“Your fingers are thicker than mine, do you know that?” he said, wanting more friction although it was already more than he had felt with his own.    
  
“I might add another one, if you ask nicely that is.” Hoseok’s words, in the incredibly low voice, hit his eardrums. Hyungwon could feel him everywhere and it drove him mad. If Hoseok wanted him to beg then he was going to beg, but for once not without a fight.

“Why would you deny yourself the pleasure of two fingers inside of me Hoseok?” Once the words left his mouth Hyungwon felt pretty sure that his conscience and awareness of conduct had left him prematurely, Hoseok’s scent and hands being the only things keeping him afloat.   
  
The other just smiled at him, slowing down his strokes. “Because I am patient and I love it when you ask me nicely. If I wasn’t patient you would be sliding over my dick by now.”

Hyungwon almost suffocated, brain catching up with the words and lungs forgetting to breathe in oxygen. The reduced speed brought his impending orgasm further back, spikes less intense and body less desperate, but also less satisfying. 

“Fuck Hoseok, you can't just stop like that. You asshole,” he whined, hips attempting to pick up speed but failing. Soft lips caught his nipple and sucked on it gently, hot breath tickling his skin. 

“I love it so much when you are desperate like this.” Hoseok’s teeth nibbled on the sensitive skin and he pushed a second finger in slowly but without warning. 

“Fuck, please please please, Hoseok,” Hyungwon mumbled, forgetting all his resolutions about not begging and holding his breath, body absolutely still. Shit, this was definitely unusual, but fuck he still wanted it. Hoseok accompanied the movement of his fingers with kisses all over Hyungwon’s chest and neck, breathing heavily himself. Once both fingers settled inside of him, probing the spot that set his whole body on fire Hyungwon wasn't able to lift his hips up anymore, still hyperventilating and recovering from the electric shock that passed through his hips. He just held his arms loosely around Hoseok’s neck and wanted to kiss the other man silly.

A partially scary thought entered his mind, painfully logical but equally terrifying. If one finger felt like an earthquake and two like an explosion, what the fuck would more feel like and how was Hyungwon supposed to keep himself from wanting it more than anything else? Fuck. 

“Hoseok, I want more but I'm scared,” he breathed out, feeling full and sitting still on Hoseok’s lap. He felt so calm around the other man that he didn't even hesitate before his worries spilt from his lips. 

“I will give you everything you want Won, but I don’t want to hurt you. That’s why we have to be patient with this.” Hoseok smiled the most beautiful smile Hyungwon had ever seen.

“Should I move, or do you want to decide the pace?” he asked and placed a soft kiss on Hyungwon’s right shoulder. Shit, why was he so fucking tender? How was Hyungwon supposed to be okay after this and move on and do other things in his life? 

Fuck, at this rate he didn't even want to. 

Feeling slightly uncomfortable he shifted, eyebrows frowning a little at Hoseok. 

“How about more lube and you decide the pace? Cause my legs feel like jelly and I trust you.” He kissed Hoseok’s nose, before he realised it was a little weird and quickly kissed his lips right after, hoping it compensated the action sufficiently. Hoseok’s eyes widened at something he said, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. The other grabbed the lube and coated his fingers, tilting his head to the left, searching for something in Hyungwon’s expression before sliding in again.

Hyungwon wanted to ask something before he shivered at the wet and partially cold sensation between his legs, trying to relax his body and accept the intrusion. 

“You can move, babe”, he said before his eyes widened at the nickname and he looked at Hoseok in panic.  
  
“Thank you for your permission, babe.” Hoseok grinned at him and adjusted the angle of his fingers such that Hyungwon’s thigh muscles jerked from the feeling. Body convulsing and eyes wide he moaned Hoseok’s name and held on for dear life as the other man moved inside his body. 

“I'll come like this,” he whispered, mouth dry from panting and lower body switching between numb and overstimulated. “And fuck I feel so full.” The lube eased the slide of Hoseok’s fingers, however Hyungwon could still tell that his body considered it an intrusion, contracting on the fingers inside him. It was a little weird despite the pleasure but nothing Hyungwon couldn’t deal with.   
  
“Fuck, you look so beautiful like this,” Hoseok groaned while biting the skin of his shoulder, moving his fingers skillfully inside of Hyungwon. 

“Where the fuck did you learn this?” Hyungwon had to ask, unable to understand how someone could go through life, randomly deciding to try out fingering unless they were shamelessly seduced into it. Hoseok was so fucking beautiful under him, looking almost as affected as he himself was, bangs sticking to his forehead with sweat and erection leaving precum on his stomach. “How does anyone even deserve you?”   
  
“Shit, look at yourself.” Hoseok panted and moved his hand to Hyungwon’s erection, adding up the friction and making the sensations overwhelming. “Fuck you will be the death of me, Won. I need you.” Hoseok seemed almost as affected as him. 

Breathing became increasingly difficult, gasps leaving his mouth without a break, brushing Hoseok’s lips and accelerating him towards his orgasm.

When Hoseok targeted a particularly sensitive spot while squeezing Hyungwon's dick just the right way he felt like consciousness left him for a few seconds as his orgasm washed over him, paralyzing him and taking every sensible thought from his mind, screaming Hoseok’s name and collapsing on top of him. 

“Wow. You...” Hoseok breathed in and freed his hands to grab a couple of tissues from the drawer to clean everything up while trying not to disturb Hyungwon lying on top of him. The lawyer just breathed in his scent and tried to calm down, body still on fire and barely holding onto consciousness. 

After some time Hyungwon felt soft lips brushing against the skin of his shoulders, hot breath tracing lines between the kissed spots whispering something barely audible. His chest felt so full of emotions he couldn't pinpoint, something clawing at him to never let Hoseok out of his grasp. 

“Hoseok,” he whispered, hoping that the other man could hear him although it was so quiet. “Take me if you need me, but please don't leave me.” 

“I can't leave you,” Hoseok whispered back, along with something Hyungwon couldn't hear. Forcing his body up Hyungwon glanced at Hoseok, hands gently massaging the other’s shoulders. “What did you say?” 

The other just smiled.

The same feeling of dread that Hyungwon felt a week ago spread in his stomach, a mixture of fear and discomfort. 

_ Hoseok loves you, you idiot. Don't use him for your own pleasure like that.  _

Swallowing down his self-hatred he smiled at the man in front of him. “I want to do something you fantasized about. I want to see you come for me Hoseok.”

If Hyungwon couldn't give him love then he was going to give him the closest thing he was able to,  _ even if it would never be enough. _

 

*** 

 

Hyungwon riding his fingers, burying his nails in the pale skin of his shoulders and screaming in his mouth was definitely the hottest thing Hoseok experienced so far. The other man looked so out of this world, facial features full of bliss, mouth opened, eyes half lidded, sweat beads on the forehead. Hoseok wanted nothing more than to please Hyungwon. He could even imagine living like that, making it his ultimate purpose in life. 

Hyungwon wanted more and Hoseok had great trouble to refrain from burying himself inside of the lawyer’s body, shivering and moving up and down on his lap. His senses returned immediately when Hyungwon looked him in the eyes and told him he trusted him.

_ Fuck he trusts you and you are just thinking about fucking him like this, selfish asshole. _

Hoseok needed to calm the fuck down. He was there to make Won feel good, not to live out his obsessive fantasies. He slid two fingers in and started moving them, finding the right angle immediately judging by Hyungwon’s screams. The sight was addicting, like everything about the lawyer. He couldn't believe they found themselves in a situation like this again, but something was different this time.

Hyungwon came with a loud moan of his name and buried his head in the crook of Hoseok’s neck. 

“Hoseok, take me if you need me, but please don't leave me,” the soft but low voice whispered in his ear. Hoseok almost suffocated at the lump in his throat that returned with those couple of words, making him unable to speak for a moment. 

“I can't leave you,” he answered Hyungwon and it was the sad truth, he couldn't leave him. “And I can't take you either. I'll be there, until you don't need me anymore,” he mumbled into the skin, not audible to the other man. 

It was different. Everything felt different. Hyungwon’s gaze, his expression when he looked at him and told him he wants to do something Hoseok fantasized about. A thought materialized in his head and everything made sense suddenly. 

_ He knows you like him Hoseok. He feels bad for you because he doesn't feel the same.  _

“No. I don't want to do anything I fantasized about. This is more than enough for me Won.” There was no fucking way that he was going to use Hyungwon’s guilty conscience for his pleasure. The other trusted him as a friend and felt bad for Hoseok’s feelings, both being crappy reasons for any kind of action in that situation. 

Instead of being relieved the lawyer looked upset though, as if Hoseok had denied him something precious. 

“Why not Hoseok? I really want to though.” Hyungwon focused on Hoseok’s face, looking unsure, before kissing him tenderly and stroking his naked skin with his hands. He was still seated on Hoseok and moved his hands up, cupping his jaw and licking over his lips and nose.

”Please,” he whispered in his ear.

“Fuck you're making it so hard for me.” Hoseok could have expected that. Hyungwon seemed like the kind of person to suck up your weaknesses and use them against you in the next possible scenario. 

Him being Hyungwon’s slave hadn’t been a joke. Realizing that Hoseok’s resolve had finally crumbled Hyungwon added even more kisses to his face, releasing a soft breath against the skin of his neck. 

“What can I do for you Hoseok?” he asked, eyes attentive and much less unfocused compared to a few moments ago, when he had been barely conscious on top of him.

“You could stop undermining my sanity.” Every thought was wiped out of his brain, the low voice dragged him out of consciousness and those plump lips against his skin kept blurring every resolution he had a moment ago. Hyungwon laughed. 

“But that would be unfair considering I'm suffering the same fate Hoseok.” 

“Fuck just touch me, somehow, I don't care, so I can think straight.” He just moaned those totally embarrassing words and closed his eyes to not see the lawyer’s expression. Hyungwon licked Hoseok’s earlobe in response, biting it with his front teeth, calming the skin with his tongue right after. Hands slowly moving down Hoseok’s sculptured chest he curled his fingers around his erection. 

“But it's no fun when you think straight. I love the way you feel Hoseok.” The hand gripped his erection harder, as if savoring the way it felt in his hand. 

“I love the way you touch me. I'm addicted to you.” He had to bite down his bottom lip to stop talking bullshit. Hyungwon had the advantage now, he came and was absolutely sane, whereas Hoseok felt as if he was accelerating to crash against a wall and the breaks didn't function. The lawyer pushed against his shoulders. “Lie down Hoseok. Let me spoil you.” 

Settling against the soft pillows of Hyungwon's bed, this time a deep bordeaux colour, Hoseok watched the way Hyungwon positioned himself on top of him. Beginning with his lips and kissing downwards, from the dip in his collarbone to his nipples. Even further, licking a line down from his chest to his navel, dipping his tongue inside. Hyungwon seemed to know what he was doing, expression strangely soft, eyes big and opened in wonder like he couldn't believe to be so lucky to do what he was doing.

“You make me feel as if I've done something to be spoiled for. Shit you look so beautiful, sometimes I think I could come just from looking at you.” There he was trying not to say embarrassing stuff, when his brain just overheated. 

“Fuck can you just put your dick in my mouth so I'll shut up.” This seemed like a good idea for once. 

Hyungwon chuckled and looked up, tongue licking over Hoseok’s stomach and stopping just to answer him. 

“Eh,” he seemed a little taken aback but still amused. “I’m rather sensitive so I’d prefer to put  _ your _ dick in  _ my _ mouth, but thanks for the offer I guess.” Placing his hands on Hoseok’s thighs, massaging them and breathing over his dick he looked up again, watching his expression, his own face concentrated and thick lower lip pulled inside his mouth. “Actually I like it when you say all those things, Hoseok.”

“I say them because I lack self control, apparently.” The other man's face between his legs was enough to make him go absolutely nuts. His hand went down to grab a fistful of dark brown hair, and teeth bit down on his lip. Hyungwon moaned at the way Hoseok pulled the strands and licked up a stripe from the shaft to the tip, moving back down and massaging his balls with his tongue, sucking at the skin and rolling them in his mouth. Releasing the skin eventually he kissed the head of Hoseok’s cock and smiled at him. 

“Do you finger yourself when you masturbate Hoseok? Or what do you do?”

“Honestly? I just think about you sitting on the ground wearing only the white shirt, touching yourself.” That was the truth. He didn't need anything more. Surprised, Hyungwon stopped his ministrations, moving upwards on Hoseok body, sinking his head into the the area between his neck and shoulders. He draped his arms around him and slid one leg over Hoseok’s body, lying partially on top of him, his breath tickling Hoseok’s neck. 

“I love it when you’re so honest,” he whispered. “Then I know what I’ll do the next time I’m in your studio.” He pulled Hoseok’s face towards him and kissed his lips, eyes closed.

“I don't understand how you're even real.” Hoseok felt so overwhelmed at the tenderness and the extensive body contact, his arms weren't listening to him anymore and he pressed the lawyer closer to his chest. It was as if Hyungwon’s words and the intimate position resolved the lump in his throat little by little making space for genuine euphoria spreading through his body, tingling and burning softly. Hyungwon kissed back, his hand sneaking between Hoseok’s legs and stroking his erection. 

“And now it's finally time to give you your well deserved release,” he said and smiled at Hoseok, freeing himself from his arms and moving back between Hoseok’s legs. Not waiting any longer he took Hoseok’s painfully hard dick into his mouth and sucked strongly, as if he wanted to get Hoseok’s release without him coming. Moaning at the sensations and grabbing Hyungwon's hair Hoseok did his best to not shoot prematurely after a few bobs of the lawyer's head. Massaging his balls with one hand and squeezing his thigh with the other Hyungwon repeatedly sucked up and down until he evolved to deep throating, Hoseok’s dick hitting the back of his throat. 

Lower body tingling with his release Hoseok pulled Hyungwon's hair harder, as the other man increased his efforts. The hand that had been squeezing his thigh snuck up between his legs, moving below his balls, finding the sensitive area that Hoseok himself had shown him. The combined sensation threw him over the edge of the cliff and he spilled inside Hyungwon’s mouth. 

The lawyer swallowed around his dick, tongue immediately lapping up stray drops and sucking him though the aftershocks, until Hoseok pulled his hair to make him stop.

“There you go. Don't even need to clean up,” Hyungwon smiled and lifted his clean palms as if showing him a present, voice rough. 

Everything felt like a huge cotton candy cloud surrounding him, Hyungwon’s beautiful face in the middle smiling so sincerely that Hoseok couldn't help but kiss those swollen lips, licking inside the lawyer's mouth and tasting himself. He pulled the man closer and hugged him, fingers gently stroking the skin of his back. The lawyer genuinely giggled. “My sides are ticklish,” he pressed out of his sore throat and hugged Hoseok back, circling his neck and lying down, head resting on Hoseok’s chest. 

“That feels so nice that I want to vomit at the thought of going home, seriously.” Realization that he said that out loud came through his blurry brain and he considered saying something to make it less obvious, but failed.

“Fuck I'm sorry, I'm just still a little overwhelmed from this, don't take it too seriously.” He decided to go with honesty. It was embarrassing already and he couldn't have done anything to prevent that. Hyungwon lifted his head to stare at Hoseok, the gaze rather accusatory. 

“Why would you bother going home Hoseok? The only thing you need to do is shift because I'm way too fucking tall to be lying on your shoulder like this, my legs are almost on the ground.” He pulled himself higher, head falling into the pillows and grabbing around Hoseok, pulling him onto his chest. 

“Are you telling me to stay? Like, stay here? At your place?” He couldn't believe what he just heard. Hyungwon told him not to go home, where should he go then? Hyungwon huffed in annoyance. 

“Sometimes I really wonder where you got your education Hoseok. Which part of not going home did you misunderstand? Where else would you stay? On the carpet in front of my apartment door?” he asked with a laugh, eyes closed and arm tightening around Hoseok.

“Harvard.” Hoseok was not going to give up, this just didn't make sense. “Also, I have no fucking idea what's going on in your head Chae Hyungwon. Don't you have to work tomorrow? And I need to shower and  wear new underwear and... like, do you know that I sleep naked? And don't you hate other people?” The flow of thoughts just went directly through to his mouth, bypassing every possible filter. At least the other would understand that it was difficult.

The lawyer opened his eyes and stared at him for a full minute, faces ridiculously close since Hoseok was basically lying on his shoulder. Then he just cracked up, laughing really hard and body almost folding together, Hoseok’s head barely avoiding hitting the headboard. Hyungwon needed a while to calm down, sitting on the bed and holding his stomach as if in pain. When he finally did he turned back to look at Hoseok who was confused to say the least. 

“Hoseok. First, good that we didn't meet in university. Second, tomorrow is saturday and nobody with any sense of self preservation works. Third, I'm pretty sure I have both a shower  _ and _ underwear. “ Looking to the side he seemed concentrated. 

“What was the last one? Ah right!”, Hyungwon commented before throwing him a disbelieving look. “Why the fuck do you sleep naked Hoseok?”

“It's easy, because I have to press my dick in my pants everyday, and I really like not to, at least at night. Although I don't know if sleeping next to you will be freeing in any way. How am I even suppose to sleep? Did you see yourself?” He would probably wake up every ten minutes trying to get rid of the erection. He needed to get the facts straight. The whole discussion was sick. Hyungwon tried to make him stay over, but why would he want that? 

The lawyer seemed to consider his arguments, sitting cross legged on the blankets, naked and looking up at the ceiling. 

“Well, it must be so fucking hard living with a huge confined dick Hoseok. Real struggle right there. If I'd sleep naked I'd just freeze.” He rolled his eyes at Hoseok and lay back down on the bed, arms crossed behind his head and legs on top of each other. “Shouldn't sleeping next to me be nice or something? I was told I look really handsome and calm when I sleep.” He grinned. 

Hoseok stood up and went to the bathroom door, looking back at the materialized sin lying on the bed, naked.

“Fuck my life, seriously, you fucking tease,” he managed to press out and disappeared into the bathroom. 

_ Just deal with it Hoseok, if he wants you to stay you just stay and suffer later. Just be happy that he seems to enjoy your company and your body.  _

_ For now.  _

Hoseok slipped into the shower and turned on the cold water, attempting to calm down his overheated brain and trying to come up with a decent reason for why Hyungwon behaved so strangely around him. The other was so tender and wanted him to stay over. Hoseok never stayed over at someone's place unless he was in a proper relationship, where he had his toothbrush at the woman's place and underwear to wear the next day.

This was a whole different scale. He did have sex with men, also more than once, but he had never been in a proper relationship with one. He knew he was bisexual, but he just never felt enough to consider being in a real relationship. The one he liked more than usual, Jung Hoseok, was straight and considered their hook up a one time thing. 

Hoseok had no idea what that meant. Hyungwon also considered himself straight, even after all the things that happened between them, which meant he didn't want to make life choices that undermined his own perception. 

What was it then?

And the biggest question was: How was it possible, that a person who would have made anybody say whatever he wanted, or choke them with his bare hands while laughing, how this exact same person could beg for Hoseok’s fingers, mouth, dick, whatever? Telling him to stay over, telling him he was beautiful while tenderly kissing his nose and lips. 

Hoseok turned off the shower and gave up.

On everything.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get interesting. Stay tuned ;P
> 
> We're always elated to see new comments and remarks <3
> 
> BTW did anyone realize that we changed the rating to explicit? *manic Changkyun laughter*
> 
> Come and share the beauty and aestethic orgasm that is Hyungwonho with us on Twitter! (We also write about updates there.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought that you were going to sleep with me and then drop me. What is difficult to understand about that, Hoseok?”

Hyungwon was lying naked on his bed, not freezing his ass off for once and wondering what the hell he was actually doing. Hoseok had disappeared into the bathroom, probably taking a shower and cleaning up and Hyungwon felt strangely comfortable in this situation, although he should have been losing his fucking mind. Hoseok had cuddled with him after sex-, or making out or whatever he was supposed to call this and Hyungwon hated cuddling as much as sex with friends.

Fuck.

His straight brain still prevented him from calling non-penetrative sexual practises sex. He was such a snob that it wasn't funny anymore. However he was past calling it ‘mental lapses’ or ‘gay stuff ‘. Those expressions didn’t represent the intensity with which he yearned for these encounters. Having Hoseok next to him again had fucked with his brain and forced him to forget his personal preferences, for everything. Hoseok had looked so vulnerable and beautiful that it had softened his resolve, unable to deny him bodily contact and cuddling if that's what he wanted. Any defence against the producer was absolutely fruitless.

Even now Hyungwon was lying on his bed and wondering why he offered him to stay. Not wanting to drive him was a poor excuse. After all they lived 5 minutes apart. It being late was also an excuse. If someone really wanted to leave then they would and if Hyungwon didn't want someone around they'd be flying out the door within a few seconds. But he offered Hoseok to stay, even convincing him despite all those pointless arguments of his. Although sleeping naked was admittedly kind of extreme.

_As if you'll care Hyungwon, you sleep like you're dead._

The thought alone that Hoseok was going to stay over, see his pathetic excuse of a self in the morning and interact with him, no preparation to get hot and acceptable first, was somehow strange. It was…intimate and Hyungwon didn't really know how he felt about that yet. There was no fear or dread but something kept poking his thoughts screaming at him to watch out.

The cold was slowly slipping under his skin so Hyungwon forced himself to get changed into his sleep clothes and prepared a pair of boxers for Hoseok, some that were still packed and lying on an otherwise empty shelf in his wardrobe. Those would have to do. He was just about to get him some pants until he remembered that he slept naked.

Such a weirdo.

Hearing how the bathroom door opened Hyungwon just threw himself on his king sized bed and grabbed a book from his night table. He didn't want to look like he hadn't done anything useful all this time. Standing around and staring at nothing definitely looked everything but useful.

Hoseok walked out wearing nothing but a white towel around his hips, raven black hair falling over his forehead.

“So you didn't reconsider your offer?” Hoseok smiled at him. Hyungwon purposefully looked up slowly, forcing himself to be chill with the way Hoseok looked, especially when he was semi-wet.

“I don't fucking reconsider my decisions Hoseok,“ he threw back, gaze returning to his book. It was a random book about copyright law he picked up during the last week.

“But what if you did something stupid?” The other man took another towel and started rubbing his hair dry. Asshole, couldn't he just look like normal people, weird and sloppy instead of hot and wet. Hyungwon wasn't even turned on or anything, it was just beautiful and he wanted to appear unaffected, more fascinated by his book than by the ethereal looks served to him by Shin Hoseok.

“I don't want to ruin your show, but the book is upside down.” Hoseok chuckled, satisfied.

“Fuck you,” Hyungwon hissed, turning it. This was like a fucking drama and he was way smarter than that. Looking up at Hoseok he grinned.

“Well, as the internet says ‘No ragrets’.”

Hoseok laughed until a surprised expression appeared on his face. “Are you telling me you don't reconsider because you don't regret? Like is there nothing you would like to change if you had the possibility?” The other man looked at him under his bangs waiting for the answer.

Shit, of course there was. So fucking much, but only since Hoseok came along. Before he didn't really give a shit cause he didn't care. He put the book to the side, attempting to forget about his embarrassment and gave Hoseok all of his attention.

“I didn't before to be honest, but since I met you it happens. Like that time I just left when we were at your studio. I shouldn't have.“ Hyungwon felt like shit just thinking about the expression Hoseok had worn as he left. Fuck he wished he could make that undone so badly. A very quiet voice also told him that maybe he wished he hadn't accepted the case, but he ignored it, like a lot of other unpleasant thoughts.

Hoseok just stood still and stared back, not smiling or showing any kind of emotion, however his eyes looked genuinely sad. He broke the eye contact and continued drying his hair as if nothing happened.

“Don't stress yourself, I shouldn't have pestered you with unnecessary facts about my shitty personality.” Hoseok laughed sarcastically and went to the bathroom to hang up the towel. Why did he always run away when he was sad, couldn't they just fucking talk about it? Crap, what had Hyungwon said to upset him this time?

“You can use the new pair of underwear I put here.” Hoseok obviously heard him as the apartment had really good acoustics.

“And I wanted to hear about your shitty personality, you know that? Especially since it's not shitty. You would have lied to me until the end wouldn't you?” Hyungwon called after him. Hoseok always wanted to run away during confrontations like these.

_You're no better Hyungwon._

Still it was assholish to keep Hyungwon in the belief that Hoseok slept around and just played with him, instead of at least saying they were both mildly interested if he hadn't wanted to confess. It had been unfair. But shit Hyungwon was glad that Hoseok hadn't confessed. He might have panicked and done something much worse than not talking to Hoseok for a week. Feeling cold despite the sleeping clothes he curled up inside his mass of blankets, pushing brushing his teeth off for later. Hoseok would return and ask for a toothbrush anyway.

“I didn't lie to you Won. I never did.” Hoseok came back and loosened the towel around his hips to put the underwear on. Hyungwon stared at him from his blanket fortress and felt ridiculous.

“It's just that all your actions screamed that you casually hook up with people and I felt like you just wanted to get me and then drop me like the rest. Like all those other bitches that jump you. I hated the thought,” Hyungwon mumbled. If they were being honest with each other then that's what he'd do. He was the one who had asked Hoseok to be truthful after all.

“Wait, what?” Hoseok slipped into the underwear and went to Hyungwon’s side of the bed, dropping on the floor in a crossed legged position, staring at him with eyes big likes plates. Shit did Hyungwon say too much? Wasn't it obvious that he had been angry because of that?

“What do you mean get you and drop you? Explain it to me cause I don't get it with my Harvard degree.” Hoseok just kept staring, not moving an inch. Fuck, how did that not make sense to him? Hyungwon felt a little uncomfortable, pulling the blankets further around himself. When he was in his sleeping clothes and freezing he felt strangely vulnerable.

“Isn't that fucking obvious…,” he murmured. When Hoseok ‘s facial expression didn't change he had to elaborate, shit.

Why was the other man so oblivious? Hyungwon was going to call Harvard and complain that they didn't prepare their students for real life conflicts. Hyungwon also didn't feel ready for this.

“I thought that you were going to sleep with me and then drop me. What is difficult to understand about that, Hoseok?”

Hoseok looked as if he just got kimchi-slapped in the face, genuinely shocked and mouth slightly opened. He caught himself after a couple of seconds. Holy shit, was it so far off? Hyungwon had been fucking convinced of its truthfulness.

“And now you will give me an example of something that had made you think bullshit like that.” The expression changed, Hoseok’s eyes narrowed and he leaned closer to Hyungwon’s face. The lawyer was a little scared. Hoseok seemed genuinely shocked, but also angry that Hyungwon would think such a thing.

But of course he had thought that!

“Oh come on Hoseok,” he started, rolling his eyes and actually not wishing to relive the anger he had felt back then. “You had a problem because of someone taking a pic of your dick, someone you didn't know. I had to stop you from fucking a random chick with breasts bigger than her brain. Angry at me because of that you kissed me. As if that wasn't compensatory.” Hyungwon had to take a breath with all the succession of thoughts that followed up, his reasons for hating Hoseok back then bubbling up like a volcano.

“And then it just kept escalating and I tried to do my work, but we never really talked about it. That is until it was actually over but you invited me to your place, did stuff with me and didn't even talk afterwards, telling me to leave everything on your table and leave. Like a fucking whore.” Shit, Hyungwon was getting furious. “And then you topped the whole thing off with the genius idea of not only changing your number, but transferring double the amount of money. _Like for a fucking whore Hoseok!_ ” Hyungwon felt breathless, voice loud and echoing in the bedroom.

Shit he went all out, didn't he?

Even though he felt bad about Hoseok falling in love with him it didn't change the fact that the producer had partially been a dick towards him. Hyungwon looked up, knuckles white from grasping the blankets and face hot.

“But, how can you be here with me after thinking stuff like that?” Hoseok stood up slowly and walked around the bed, lying next to Hyungwon, moving his hands slowly around him, pulling him closer until the lawyer’s face was buried in the crook of his neck. Hyungwon couldn't move, too shocked at the sudden sign of affection.

“And now you will listen to me Chae Hyungwon, because I'm sure as fuck not going to repeat that ever again.” Hoseok stroked his hair and pressed him even closer.

“I was so attracted to you from the beginning. I kissed you because I couldn't control myself. I did stuff with you and I deeply regret it because I have the feeling that you might have felt used, although I did it because I really, I really like you. I was so sad that the case was over and I didn't have any reason to see you again, so I basically didn't eat and didn't do anything but music.” He breathed in and out as if trying to calm himself.

“You confronted me and I had no idea of what was going on. I still don't to be honest, I'm just happy as long as you think my company is something you can tolerate. So in conclusion.” He breathed again and swallowed audibly. “In conclusion I'm so sorry I hurt you because I just thought about myself and wanted to prevent suffering like a kid. I'm so happy you just confronted me. You're unreal. I sometimes find myself looking at you and thinking that it was all a drug dream or something.” Hoseok kissed his head and continued breathing barely audibly.

Hyungwon couldn't pinpoint his emotions except for the fact that he wanted to squish Hoseok and cry into his shoulder like a little girl. This was almost the confession he had been so afraid of receiving. The confession that showed him he was an idiot and the person that had been really hurting was Hoseok. The other man hadn't even eaten because of him, what the fuck was his anger in comparison?

Fuck, Hyungwon wanted to slap himself. And as if repeating his mistakes, here he was enjoying Hoseok’s calm and selfless nature, relaxing into his arms and listening to him asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness for things that weren't even his fault, fuck.

Hyungwon's cheek felt wet and he panicked. Pressing his head further into Hoseok he breathed in deeply and attempted to hide his face as well as possible, committing the mistake of drowning it in the naked skin of Hoseok’s neck.

“I don't tolerate your company Hoseok. I crave it. Why can't you just believe me when I tell you that,” he breathed against the other man’s neck, wetness of his tears leaving marks on the porcelain skin.

“I will give you everything you crave for Won. Thank you for having me next to you.” The other man kissed his hair and curled his muscular arms around Hyungwon’s body, stroking his back and raking through the brown strands.

“Shit, why can't you be selfish for once Hoseok?” Hyungwon couldn't help but whisper. How could Hoseok always be willing to hurt himself and give everything to Hyungwon? He didn't deserve it. None of it. Changkyun was right, he had been a fucking asshole and shouldn't be the one crying. But here he was again, crying into Hoseok’s shoulder because he kept hurting the other man. It was pathetic. He liked Hoseok so much, he didn't want him to get hurt. He was supposed to be happy like he usually was, smile a fucking sunset.

“Why would you immediately be attracted to me anyway? I was a dick to you Hoseok,” Hyungwon couldn't help asking, the sound more sobs than words. After all, their first encounter was more bickering than anything else. He had wanted to choke Hoseok after he had insulted his manhood.

_That's when you didn't know it would end up in his mouth shortly after._

Hyungwon held onto Hoseok tighter, still unwilling to show his messed up face. Luckily he was a silent crier and the tears almost dried.

“Don't cry, I won't hurt you again, I promise.” Hoseok realized, of course.

”Thinking back it might have been the combination of your absolutely stunning looks paired up with that grim reaper personality. Later it became different, but because I got to know you better.” Hyungwon nodded into Hoseok’s neck at the words. It kinda made sense although he had still mainly gotten angry at Hoseok and lectured him on his shitty behaviour (which had been justified though). The lawyer breathed in Hoseok’s scent, smelling his favourite shower gel and smiled.

“Hoseok, I wasn't crying cause you hurt me. I cried cause I don't fucking deserve you.“

A gentle hand movement lifted his jaw and brown eyes met his. Hoseok’s face looked so soft, lips curved in a smile, eyes focused.

“I just don't want to make you cry.” The tender lips touched Hyungwon’s and disappeared again after a short time. “I know I shouldn't enjoy it too much, but I can't help it.” Hoseok closed the distance again, placing small kisses on every spot he could find. Hyungwon's chest felt like it was about to explode. He just wanted to press Hoseok close to himself and never let go, lips permanently attached and smile on his lips. He couldn't breathe.

“I want you so much Hoseok, nothing makes sense. Please don't stop kissing me.”

“I can't stop.” Hoseok chuckled and kissed Hyungwon again, it felt so intimate that it almost hurt. After what could have been seconds or minutes Hyungwon removed himself from Hoseok’s arms. He needed a break from the whirlwind of emotions in his chest.

“It's late so I'll go brush my teeth. In the left bathroom shelf are unused toothbrushes. Just get yourself one, okay?” He stood up and walked to the bathroom, brushing his teeth thoroughly. Looking at the hair oil on the sink he thought of something.

“Hoseok, move your ass here. I want to improve the condition of your poor hair.”

The other man came over looking confused.

“Okay, look, here’s your toothbrush.” Hyungwon grabbed into the shelf he had mentioned before and took out a brand new blue toothbrush. It was his favourite type and he had a stack of them to make sure he could switch them regularly. He hated disgusting things. Pushing the toothbrush into Hoseok’s hand he grabbed the hair oil and sprayed some on his hands.

“This stuff is amazing for your hair. You look like you just come out of the shower and do the bed hair look, but this shit right here just makes it all better. You probably didn’t use conditioner either.” Hyungwon walked the two steps towards Hoseok and massaged the oil on his hands into Hoseok’s hair, realizing he had just given him a monologue on hair care.

Holy shit.

“Oh my god I must sound so gay,” he said but still continued massaging Hoseok’s scalp. This was ridiculous. “Toothpaste is over there by the way, just pick your favourite taste.”

Hoseok grinned shamelessly.

“First, what about sounding gay, is there something wrong with gay? Second, I feel so spoiled I can't believe this is happening.” Hyungwon was caught of guard. He had no intention of saying something potentially hurtful.

“There is nothing wrong with gay, everyone can love whom they want and smear unlimited amounts of conditioner into their hair if it gets them going,” he answered, removing his hands from Hoseok’s hair and cleaning them in the sink. “Just brush your teeth already for fuck’s sake. I need my sleep or I’ll cut a bitch.”

“I'm okay as long as that bitch isn't me.” Hoseok just stood there and laughed in his face, trying to put toothpaste on the brush while his body trembled because of excessive laughing. Hyungwon couldn’t help smiling at the sight although he was so fucking tired. Hoseok looked like he genuinely belonged into his bathroom, laughing like a monkey and unable to put toothpaste on.

“I like you too much,” the lawyer commented without shame and stabilized Hoseok’s hand so he wouldn’t smear the carrot toothpaste Hoseok picked for some reason all over his bathroom. That shit had cumine and was hard to get out of cloth.

The more time Hyungwon spent with Hoseok, the less he worried about just saying whatever the fuck he thought and it only got worse when he was tired. Finishing up, he went through his skin care in high speed and dried his face, telling Hoseok that he better hurry up cause he’ll be out of it within three seconds. Rolling up in his mass of blankets he closed his eyes and avoided thinking of the fact that he was letting someone he wasn’t dating sleep in his bed. He drifted off almost immediately, sounds from the bathroom only a dull background noise.

_Thank god that it’s not a crush._

 

_

 

The intense smell of freshly brewed coffee entered Hyungwon’s nose, waking him up sufficiently and spreading confusion, because there was no one except for him to make coffee and he had changed the code only one month ago, so Minhyuk hadn’t been able to visit and figure it out yet. Opening his eyes and rolling on his back he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, wondering why the fuck the coffee smell hadn’t disappeared yet. Noises from the kitchen entered his ears and he was getting a little freaked out.

What the actual fuck?

Hyungwon had no idea what time it was, but definitely way too early to be standing up on a Saturday. Closing his eyes and groaning he rolled around again, trying to sleep despite the constant rattling in the kitchen. Sitting up he glanced around the room, wondering if the cleaning lady had come by out of schedule to make sure he ate enough before his eyes fell on a t-shirt on the ground. One that didn’t belong to him.

He had let Hoseok sleep over.

Right.

Wiping over his face and hoping that he didn’t drool he fixed his silk pyjamas and jumped up, sneaking into the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth and look at least partially acceptable before engaging in social interaction. Taking care of his business and fixing some of the mess on his head he casually walked into the kitchen, doing his best to pretend that he was okay with this.

He wasn’t.

He had no idea how to act or what to do to make sure it wouldn’t get awkward.

Hoseok was wearing tight jeans and nothing else. That tease, standing in the kitchen bare chested, making coffee and smiling like an angel as soon as he spotted Hyungwon.

Shit, this was so fucking domestic. Hyungwon smiled back as well as he could and pulled himself up on the counter.

“What are you doing?” he asked, although he knew Hoseok was harassing his coffee machine.

“I‘m making coffee, why? What does it look like? Although I might also strip naked in your kitchen, I bet I would manage to do better.” Hoseok laughed while taking out a cup.

“I thought stripping is my area of expertise,” Hyungwon couldn’t help shooting back. Hoseok was basically naked already so there wasn’t much left to strip. Dangling his pyjama clad legs down from the counter the lawyer felt a little ridiculous compared to Hoseok looking all hot and shirtless in his fucking tight jeans. Hyungwon had to compensate for the early hour and the fact that Hoseok had woken him up.

“Well I thought you were raping my coffee machine and my kitchen to be honest. In addition to disturbing my beauty sleep like a fucking elephant.”

Hoseok just walked over to him, slow steps, his hips waving with every movement, placing himself between Hyungwon’s legs. Muscular arms closed around his waist, the prominent chest muscles flexing at every movement.

“Do you know how much I suffered tonight and in the morning, and basically every fucking second since yesterday, being next to you when you look like this?“ He moved his hand from Hyungwon’s neck down to his abs. Hyungwon couldn’t talk. Hoseok’s presence was too intense, warm body between his legs and hands keeping him in trance with their tenderness. He shook his head, questioning gaze focused on Hoseok. Then he suddenly snapped out of it, frowning.

“I’m in a fucking pyjama Hoseok. What do you mean ‘looking like this’?” Hoseok was such a weirdo for enjoying the way he looked in a pyjama, probably drool had been flowing out of his mouth too.

“I want to do things to you I'm not proud off.” Hoseok smiled and cupped his jaw, forcing Hyungwon to look down into his eyes. “I told you to wear a fucking potato sack for my sanity but you don't listen.” Hyungwon’s heart skipped a beat at his first words. It sounded very much like Hoseok wanted to ravish him although he was in silk pyjamas and just woke up. It made no sense whatsoever.

“Your kinks make absolutely no sense to me Hoseok. A potato sack, really? And drooling in a silk pyjama doesn’t sound very hot to me.”

_Hyungwon, if you want him to think that you are hot, you shouldn’t point out your weaknesses to him, you idiot._

He leaned back a little to have more space between himself and Hoseok, putting his arms behind him on the counter and resting against them.

“You have a thing for moving between my legs don’t you?” Hyungwon had only intended the literal meaning, but the second one was almost as obvious as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Damn if you knew Chae Hyungwon. I have so many things I want to do.” He placed a kiss on Hyungwon’s lips, leaning forward and sliding his tongue in. Hyungwon wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that but kissed back. Hoseok was fucking hot, but the situation seemed wrong to him. They were in his kitchen making out and Hoseok stayed over and Hyungwon was still in his pyjamas and all of it felt too much like…

_As if Hoseok is your boyfriend or something._

“Okay now drink your coffee, I tried hard.” Hoseok broke the kiss and gave him a cup of black coffee. Hyungwon took it carefully, still weary because of his little realization. He had the very common desire to be alone again. Alone with himself and his apartment and no unnecessary thoughts and people, confusing him about what he wanted or didn’t want.

“Hoseok, you pressed a fucking button. How is that trying hard?” He grinned and took a sip, a strangely good sip. What the fuck? “Wait, what have you done to my coffee machine, Shin Hoseok?”

“It's a secret.” Hoseok left and disappeared in the bedroom. What the hell was going on? Hyungwon was left sitting in the kitchen and feeling out of place in his own home. Following Hoseok into his bedroom to also get dressed he walked over to his wardrobe and began picking out his outfit for the day. It was Saturday but he decided not to spend it in his sleeping clothes for once.

“What are you planning today, Hoseok?” he asked while adding dark blue jeans to his choice.

“I planned on making breakfast, but your fridge looks like a grocery cemetery. That's why I wanted to eat out. Are you in or do you want me to leave?” Hoseok grunted while putting his shirt on. “It's okay if you do, I told you yesterday.” The producer looked at him and smiled brightly. Hyungwon was so shocked by the proposition that he couldn't say anything, shirt he had been looking at uselessly hanging in his hands.

“You know what, I'll just go. I think you've done so much for me that I better leave, so you still want to see me later.” Hoseok didn't wait for an answer, smiled and went towards the door.

Hyungwon felt awkward but Hoseok leaving just like that hadn't been his goal either. Discomfort spread and he couldn't bear it anymore, running after Hoseok.

“Wait Hoseok! I'm just not used to people being around when I wake up. Let's eat out together. Don't leave!” He caught up with him holding onto his arm and desperate as fuck. He knew that mood, he couldn't leave Hoseok like that. He was going to leave with a genuine, happy smile or not at all.

“Hyungwon-ah, don't feel bad I'm okay. I slept well and you gave me full five star hotel service with toothbrush and everything.” Hoseok stroked his arm and looked down for some reason.

“Hoseok, no. You're not leaving without me. Fuck no, please don't do this to me. Don't just disappear.” He held on even tighter, almost crushing Hoseok’s arm. He felt so scared it was overwhelming.

“Do you feel uncomfortable if I tell you that I like you? Because you make me want to say it so often.” Hoseok turned around and pulled Hyungwon’s body closer to place a kiss on his lips. The lawyer immediately slung his arms around him, not letting him go.

“It's okay Hoseok. You can say it. I don't mind. I just can't understand but that’s my problem. I just don't see myself with your eyes.” It was true. Hyungwon still didn't understand why Hoseok liked him so much.

“I like you so much. And if you want to come with me I'd be really happy.” Hoseok treated his body as if it was made of porcelain, afraid to break it and touching it so gently. It was ironic considering that the only one whose skin looked like porcelain among them was Hoseok, pale and ethereal. Hyungwon loved that the other man kept his hair black, the contrast was mesmerizing. He was mesmerizing.

Although he had told Hoseok that he was okay, he wasn't. Not really at least. Hearing the confession over and over again reminded him of the fact that he kept Hoseok around because of his own desire to have him, but he just couldn't help it.

Hyungwon's fingers always stretched out towards him as soon as the other man attempted to leave his tight grasp. He liked Hoseok, he just didn't love him.

_You are the worst Hyungwon._

“Let's get something tasty to eat. I'll get dressed,” he whispered and freed himself from Hoseok’s arms, returning to the bedroom and quickly putting on the casual outfit he had decided on. When he was ready and looked fabulous enough to appear outside, he slipped his shoes on in high speed and already walked to the door. “Hurry up Seok,” he called, impatiently staring towards Hoseok, who hadn't known his shoes were kept next to the bedroom.

Hyungwon really wanted to leave.

Hoseok told him to get out and wait for him as if he could tell Hyungwon needed air. Opening his door and stepping out he was just about to walk over and call the elevator when the neighbouring apartment door opened and a wide eyed Minhyuk stared at him, dressed in something that couldn't be defined as clothes and looking like he didn't sleep all that much.

“Holy shit, Won. Did you watch gay porn yesterday?”

Hyungwon almost choked on air and hoped that _no matter what_ Hoseok hadn't heard that.

“Fucking what?” he answered, controlling his facial expressions and giving Minhyuk the most disgusted stare he could manage. His neighbour and unfortunately friend just continued looking shocked and elaborated further, not making it any better.

“Don't give me that look you loner! I was also surprised! But I heard a guy moaning loudly and it sure as hell was way too hot to be you. That sounded fucking juicy. And there was way too little high pitched demonic screeching to be straight porn, so it had to be gay. I know what I'm talking about!”

Hyungwon couldn't decide between being terrified and offended. Minhyuk tended to have that effect on him, brain racing in panic to come up with something reasonable.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,“ he pressed out quietly, throwing a look at the door, hoping Hoseok needed a sudden bathroom break or something. Fuck.

“Sorry the Nikes are fucking hard to put on.” Hoseok just walked out of the door and stared at them both. Hyungwon wanted to die, Minhyuk was going to start horrible theories and fucking kill him with h-. His thoughts were easily interrupted by Minhyuk’s eyes widening like sauce pans and index finger pointing at Hoseok, like an attraction in an amusement park.

“Won, am I drunk, or is that Shin Hoseok coming out of your apartment?”

Hyungwon wanted to die. How could he have forgotten that Minhyuk basically lived in pop culture and there was no fucking way that he wouldn't know Hoseok? He had fucked up, real bad. He had forgotten that he was continuously meeting up with a celebrity that other people knew and probably wanted to fuck.

“Yeah,“ he just squeezed out, unable to say anything else intelligent.

Dear God, please let Hoseok not have heard the beginning of this conversation.

“Oh you must be Won’s friend, I'm Hoseok, nice to meet you!” Hyungwon immediately wanted to deny everything but Minhyuk was faster. Slipping away from his apartment door like water and grabbing Hoseok’s hand as if it was the holy grail, holding onto it for way longer than appropriate.

“Yes! I'm Minhyuk. Nice to meet you! Did you guys watch gay porn together? You must have stayed over? Won isn't really telling me.”

Hyungwon was going to choke him, immediately. As soon as he fucking let go of Hoseok’s hand and stopped being a creep.

What the actual fuck?

“Gay porn? Hmm not that I remember.” Hoseok smiled brightly at Minhyuk. “You just said my name, do you know me?” He just ran into the fucking trap. Scratch choking Minhyuk. Hyungwon wanted to choke them both. Answering Hoseok’s smile with an equally huge and sleazy one Minhyuk squeezed the other's hand even tighter.

“I'm a huge fan of your music Wonho! I have every fucking track. How come you hang out with someone as boring and heartless as Hyungwon?” Hyungwon snorted at that, leaning against the wall and glaring.

“Too bad he's _my_ friend, Minhyuk. Stop sexually harassing him or I'll beat the shit out of your ass so hard you'd wish you never came out of that door”

Minhyuk just shamelessly ignored him, staring at Hoseok like at a fucking meal.

“No gay porn? I heard really loud moans from his apartment and it was simply too hot to be him, so I got surprised. With his non existent sex life and all.”

“Oh really? But he looks like his sex life should be quite present.” Hoseok smelled the opportunity, this asshole. Hyungwon wanted them both dead and preferably a few meters away from each other.

He'd just live at Hoseok’s place for now, avoiding Minhyuk but still seeing Hoseok all the time. The producer was fucking kidding him too, joking about Hyungwon's sex life knowing very well it consisted of him alone.

Minhyuk just laughed at Hoseok’s comment, still holding his hand for some reason. Was no one aware of this?

“I agree and if he hadn't beaten the shit out of me back in middle school I'd have totally jumped him, but he's straight as fuck and I prefer people that actually have a nice body with defined muscles,” Minhyuk elaborated, still smiling at Hoseok with his flirt smile. Fuck.

“He beat you up? I'm sorry. He's really mean sometimes.” Hoseok grinned like a fucking tease. “Thank you for liking my music, it's really nice to meet Hyungwon’s friends.”

_No it’s not Hoseok. It’s not nice to meet Hyungwon’s friends._

Minhyuk finally let go of the producer’s hand, getting the hint, but still smiling.

“You seem to know him very well,” he commented and looked over at the lawyer raising an eyebrow, but seeing his death stare he quickly returned to the sweet honey that was Hoseok’s happy face. Hyungwon had fucking enough.

“Can we please move our asses out of this building? Preferably without any third wheels?” he commented, huffing in annoyance and leaning away from the wall. “Come on, Seok.” He emphasised the nickname on purpose, nodding in the direction of the elevator. Minhyuk could figuratively suck his fucking dick.

“It was really nice meeting you Minhyuk. Have a nice day!” Hoseok smiled and winked at the incarnation of the devil before taking fast steps to join Hyungwon in the elevator.

“The pleasure was all mine!” Minhyuk called after him, voice still echoing in Hyungwon's head even when they were in the elevator, descending. How the hell did Hyungwon walk right into that? Fuck. Minhyuk was a great friend but he really didn't want to be pestered about this. It wouldn't end.

“Do you always have sunshine coming out of your ass when you meet new people, Hoseok?” Hyungwon hissed at the man in front of him. He was pissed and really couldn't hide it.

“No, only if it's your friends.” The producer shamelessly grinned in his face. Hyungwon just leaned against the railing and stared him down, feeling the anger bubble under the surface but not quite knowing whom he hated more, Minhyuk or Hoseok.

“And why would that be the case?”

Hoseok moved slowly towards him leaving only a couple of centimetres between them.

“The real question is why you are so concerned? I just wanted to calm down the gay porn discussion.” Shit, Hyungwon had completely forgotten about that, focusing on Minhyuk’s sleazy attempts to impress Hoseok and the way the producer just continued being a ray of sunshine. Eyes widening at the realization he just looked away.

“Right, thanks I guess. Didn't have to play kindergarten trip with him though.”

“Mhh? What kindergarten trip?” Hoseok put both hands on each side of the railing catching Hyungwon in the middle. The lawyer sincerely hoped 14 floors would pass by quickly, becoming increasingly nervous at the bodily confrontation.

“Holding hands like kindergarden kids, Hoseok.”

The other man leaned in, caught Hyungwon’s lower lip with his teeth and let go immediately, whispering into his mouth.

“I didn't want to piss off your friend. He seemed pretty fond of me.” The man stepped back looking amused. “It's the ground floor, let's go.”

_That fucking tease._

Hyungwon wanted to kill him and jump his dick at the same time, fucking hell. Where the hell did his previously calm and relaxed libido go?

“I should have let you ravish me in the kitchen or something,” he mumbled, following Hoseok out of the elevator and fruitlessly hoping that Minhyuk would let the situation go. Had he not panicked he might have missed Minhyuk and gotten some steam of, instead of getting semi-hard in public and setting a fucking beast on Hoseok.

“I almost snapped but I'm so proud of myself for the remaining self control.” Hoseok smirked again and winked at the security guard while walking out. What the actual fuck was he? How could he be this sweet emotional mess and this dominant, controlled personified tease at the same time? Fuck.

“You should rather use that control to fight off Minhyuk when he comes for your ass. Or rather dick,” Hyungwon pointed out, hoping it wasn't the truth although it obviously was. Now that he thought about it he could even vaguely remember Minhyuk telling him he found this one producer hot but Hyungwon hadn't given a shit back then.

“Just stay with me Hoseok.“

 

***

 

He didn’t know he would enjoy seeing Hyungwon being possessive and probably a little jealous. The lawyer was pissed and the only reason must have been the way the handsome blonde man held his hand and looked at him, smirking. The whole situation was so obvious that Hoseok had to prevent himself from laughing out loud. He just smiled like a sunshine instead, making Hyungwon even more angry. Shit the other man was so hot when he was pissed and jealous, standing in the elevator, hissing at him. Hoseok was happy it was only 14 floors.  
  
The whole situation was more than strange. Hyungwon being straight, doing all this. It reminded him of something. He sucked in a breath and couldn’t help but think about the time he met Jung Hoseok, or how he called him, Hobi.   
  
Hobi was a dancer and they had met two years ago because he had needed a beat for a special choreography performance. Hoseok made beats and a friend had introduced them to each other. They had met up a lot during the two months the production took, danced and listened to music together and Hoseok had really liked him back then. He was serious about music, calm, could laugh like a maniac in appropriate situations and was materialized sin when he danced.

Then one day after Hobi had convinced him to dance the choreography he had created for his beat, they had sat on the floor in the practice room, panting and sweating, the other man had kissed him. He had done it passionately and desperately, as if to relieve the incredible amount of tension that had piled up between them. Hoseok had kissed back.

Hobi was straight, he had been aware of that, but the other man had seemed to have a thing for Hoseok. For his body, his face, the way he moved. In the end they had ended up meeting up frequently, bathing in damping tension that surrounded them, touching each other and one day also having sex. Hoseok had always been the active one and Hobi had loved it. He still remembered the other man’s moans and screams, begging for more. It had ended after a couple of times, the beat done and they hadn’t met up after that. Hobi had sent a message three months later, thanking him for getting first place in the competition, like a friend would do.   
  
Hoseok would have liked spending more time with the other, their chemistry had been no joke and they had so much in common. But they had never talked about it later and he hadn’t seen the other for more than a year. It wasn’t as if Hoseok had feelings left, it was just that the situations were so similar to each other. He was going out for breakfast, with a straight person, who apparently had a thing for his body but nothing else.

It would probably end as soon as Hoseok lost control and finally fucked him. Hyungwon would probably realize that he was not gay and end everything, like it had been with Hobi. But Hoseok was madly in love with the lawyer, that was the major difference. He would not be sad for three weeks and move on like he had done with Hobi. He knew exactly how serious the whole story was. He thought back to the moment Hyungwon had told him he was afraid of Hoseok fucking him and leaving him, although in reality it was the exact opposite. The other one had left and it would be the same this time too.  
  
He walked into the cafè suppressing the suffocating feeling those thoughts provoked and sat down across the lawyer, who looked a little pissed. Actually Hyungwon was fucking beautiful, no matter what he felt or what kind of emotion appeared on his face. He managed to take Hoseok’s sanity away just by breathing.

They got coffee and a simple breakfast and Hoseok tried not to be that obvious by looking into his cup more than at the ethereal human across him.   
  
“Hoseok-ah! Shit, is that you?” A strangely familiar voice woke him up from staring at his coffee and he raised his head, to see a black haired man walking towards him from Hyungwon’s side, smiling brightly as if he was the fucking sun. 

Life was not going easy on him these days.  
  
“Hobi. Fuck, I thought you were in L.A. all this time?” Hoseok almost choked but caught himself realizing he was not alone. Hobi just jumped in his fucking arms, hugging him tightly and showering him with compliments about his hair, and work-out routine. Fuck, he was not ready for this kind of encounter at all. Karma was a bitch.   
  
“I moved to NY and opened my own dance studio! Amazing right? You asshole changed your number. I tried to contact you a quadzillion times!” He looked at Hoseok and accusatively pushed his index finger in his chest. “Oh you’re here with a friend?” He turned to take a look at Hyungwon for the first time since his wrecking ball appearance. The lawyer looked tense, eyes not leaving the two of them, lips a straight line and arms crossed.

“Yeah, Seok has a thing for changing his number without telling people,” he pressed out, looking as if he was about to flip the table in front of him. Shit, it was not as fun as it was with Hyungwon’s neighbour because it was Hobi, who was touchy as fuck, and Hoseok had literally fucked him back in the days.   
  
“Ehm yeah, this is Hyungwon, and that’s Jung Hoseok, we worked together back in the days, he’s a dancer.” The lawyer’s eyes widened dramatically at the words, looking over at Hobi and mouth opening in shock.

“Hobah?” he asked, completely out of it.  
  
“Yaaaa, Won what the actual fuck? I thought I wouldn’t see you since you chose paper over music! How have you been? How do you two know each other? Damn I’m lucky today, meeting two old friends at once.” Hobi smiled like the sunshine he was and sat on a chair next to Hoseok, hand still on his shoulder.   
  
_Oh no. They know each other, please no._   
  
Hoseok felt like vomiting, his whole body tensed and he was sure his face had the same color as the white porcelain cup in front of him. The lawyer’s face looked less tense than it had a few seconds ago. A careful smile appearing on his lips.

“Hobah, I also didn’t think we’d meet again. I still dance though, just such that nobody sees it.” He stood up to give Hobi a hug, less crushing than the way the dancer had hugged Hoseok.   
  
He just wanted to disappear somewhere without anyone noticing. His previous thoughts about Hobi made it worse and Hyungwon’s expression didn’t comfort him at all.

“So, are you alone here?” Hoseok wanted to get any kind of conversation started without making his discomfort obvious.   
  
“Yeah, I wanted to get an americano to go, but then your face distracted me. Shit how can someone even look like that? I’m going gay everytime I see you.” He laughed and pinched Hoseok’s knee.

Fuck, this was no fun, not at all. He must have looked terrified. Hyungwon just cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

“He has that quality doesn’t he?” he asked carefully, eyes trained on Hoseok’s face as if he could tell something was up.  
  
“Damn if you knew, but yeah I hope that I’m not disturbing your conversation. You still didn’t tell me how you know each other? It’s so funny, I’d never imagined you two could be friends.” Hobi took a sip of his coffee and stared at Hyungwon, because of reasons Hoseok couldn’t and didn’t want to understand.

Why was Hobi even here, why did he say hello like this, why did he join them, what the actual fuck?  
  
The lawyer laughed at Hobi’s question, taking a sip of his coffee, cringing shortly and looking back at Hobi with a smile.

“It’s a funny story actually. I kinda saved Hoseok’s ass including the dignity of his dick.” He grinned and got more comfortable in his chair, long limbs rearranged and one leg resting calmly on top of the other, hands folded on his knees.  
  
The black haired man started laughing like a maniac, holding his stomach and bending in half.

“What the fuck Hoseok? Where did you put your dick into to get a lawyer? So you two have a business relationship? I thought you were really close friends.” Hobi caught himself and smiled a naughty smile, one that Hoseok didn’t see on him before. Hyungwon’s eyebrow rose immediately.

“The business relationship is already over and we are friends Hobah.”  
  
Hoseok needed an assassination. Someone should have come in and shot him in the face. This whole situation was plain ridiculous, his previous semi relationship sat there and tried to annoy his current semi-he didn’t know what it was, but Hyungwon seemed affected which was even more ridiculous.   
  
“Ehm, we’re friends. I didn't put my dick anywhere strange and we get along quite well, Won and me.” Hoseok smiled at the lawyer trying to reassure him of whatever reassurance he needed in the first place. Hobi on the other hand looked curious and fascinated with no obvious reason whatsoever.   
  
“That is really interesting. I don’t know about Won, but you definitely didn’t change. You look the same.” The lawyer just rolled his eyes at Hobi’s comment as if he was convinced that it was complete bullshit.   
  
“I’m not. I’m not the same,” Hoseok shot out without thinking about it for a second.   
  
Hobi looked a little annoyed. Hoseok was mildly scared because the other man was normally a ray of sunshine except for dancing and music, but this situation contained neither.   
  
“Why? Did something happen? Did you start talking about your feelings in the meantime?” A sarcastic smile crept up Hobi’s face. Shit. Hoseok wanted to leave so badly. If there was something he absolutely didn’t want to do, then it was talking about his feelings to his previous crush in front of Hyungwon. Fuck.

Suddenly, the lawyer straightened his back and took another sip of his drink, eyes focusing on Hobi. “Jung Hoseok, I think that was enough. You’re sailing a little out of your zone. Chill the fuck down.” His voice sounded much more detached than it had before and his gaze said that he wasn’t fucking kidding.  
  
“Whoah you’re indeed a lawyer, I almost got scared.” The dancer laughed and turned to Hoseok.

“Give me your number, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Hyungwon stood up and walked over to Hoseok, stretching out his hand. “Hoseok, let’s go. Hobah, if you want to get his number just write me a mail. I’m unfortunately forced to handle all kinds of exchanges, as we had some communication discrepancies. Don’t take it personally.”  
  
Hoseok just sat there without moving an inch, not understanding the whole situation, staring at Hyungwon and at Hobi, eyes moving right and left, like a fucking idiot. 

“Listen, everything is fine! Hobi just hit up Changkyun, he’ll give it to you, and I need to get going because of work. It was really nice seeing you again after such a long time.” Hoseok stood up and Hobi hugged him out of nowhere looking at Hyungwon. It was like some kind of drama Hoseok didn’t get the point of. He turned around and walked out, not looking at both men.  
  
_What the actual fuck, what is happening, why are they like this? Maybe they hate each other or something, but why are you involved?_

Hoseok couldn’t think for long as Hyungwon appeared behind him almost immediately.

“I don’t give a shit whether I haven’t been physically aggressive with you Hoseok, but I am fucking close right now. You were the one who said he wanted to eat breakfast with me, so you can’t fucking leave me there, like ordered but not picked up.” He was furious, eyes wide and fists clenched, one hand holding onto Hoseok’s sleeve, not letting him run away.  
  
“I wasn’t running away. I just wanted to go out without taking your hand and making you uncomfortable in public.” It was the truth, Hobi would have called him and pestered him about Hyungwon. Changkyun would have called, people would have stared and everything. He didn’t want to make the lawyer feel strange next to him in public. Hyungwon took a deep breath at his answer.

“If I already stretched out my fucking hand, don’t you think it would have been okay to take it? How is what you did right now _any_ better?”   
  
“How do you know him?” Hoseok stopped and looked the lawyer in the eyes waiting for a reaction. He really wanted to know what this whole situation was about. Hyungwon didn’t even know why Hoseok was uncomfortable in the first place.

“How is that even relevant right now? We were in school together, same dance academy,” the lawyer spit out, still angry. Was Hyungwon on drugs? It was fucking relevant. He basically lawyered Hobi in front of him just because of a stupid comment the dancer made regarding his emotional state. 

“Do you hate him or something? You didn’t seem too fond of each other!” Hoseok wanted an explanation for what just happened so he could move on and not think about it anymore. Hyungwon released the strong hold he had on his sleeve, staring at him in wonder as if he himself realized that something had been off.

“No, we’re totally fine. Hung out quite a bit back then and he wanted to start a dance team with me,” he answered, voice more quiet but eyes still wide. Looking to the side shortly he breathed out and looked back at Hoseok. “Why is that relevant?”  
  
“I just tried to understand what the fuck was going on just now.” His look must have done something, because Hyungwon didn’t look that angry anymore.

“I wanted to have breakfast with you and I would never leave you like that somewhere, I hope you remember,” he breathed out, still a little angry that Hyungwon thought Hoseok just left him there. The other had at least the decency to look a little guilty.

“He made you uncomfortable Hoseok. Of course I had to do something.” He looked to the side as if embarrassed about his outburst, leaning against a random streetlamp a few centimeters away from them.  
  
“You did it for me?” Hoseok moved closer but his eyes spotted Hobi sitting at the same table, legs crossed, sipping on his coffee and watching the scene in front of the cafe with a nasty smirk on his face. Hyungwon was just about to answer, crossing his arms, but Hoseok interrupted him.   


“Let’s go.” He turned around, tugged at Hyungwon’s shirt and started walking. The lawyer followed him without a complaint, simply stepping after him and scrutinizing the ground with his eyes.

  
_ 

  
The whole week felt absolutely unreal and Hoseok didn’t really want to work. He just wanted to spend time with Hyungwon, but the lawyer had cases and Hoseok had deadlines. Meeting Hobi in the cafe a week ago felt surreal now, and the messages him and Hyungwon exchanged gave him motivation to work diligently so he could let himself go on the weekend. After finishing another track that was actually due on Sunday, Hoseok realized the three missed calls from Kkung on his display and his guilty conscience crept up, as he never waited a second to write or call Hyungwon back.   
  
“Hey Changkyun-ah, sorry I was working.” He immediately spilled excuses all over the place.   
  
“Don’t fucking lie! Either way you need to explain something to me. Why the flying fuck did Hobi call me asking for your number? Isn’t one straight guy more than enough?” Changkyun huffed. Of course he remembered the whole story, as Hoseok was comforted by him back then.   
  
“Yeah I kind of met him accidentally, last week in a coffee shop.” Hoseok remembered it again, also the gaze the other man had worn and the way Hyungwon had behaved around him although they knew each other from before.   
  
“You know what was even better? He asked me about your relationship to Won and I told him the sad, annoying truth that I don’t have a fucking idea what both of you are up to. Why do I have to answer questions like that?”

Shit, why would Hobi ask about it in the first place? As if it was not uncomfortable enough already, without other people getting involved unnecessarily.   
  
“Shit, Kkung, I have no fucking idea what’s going on. I just know that he opened a dance academy here and that he was behaving really strange towards me. Hyungwon almost killed him.”   
He shouldn’t have said the last sentence, but it just happened and Hoseok bit on his bottom lip waiting for the possible explosion.   
  
“Hyungwon did what? What do you mean he almost killed him? Why? They were really good friends back in the days.” Changkyun’s voice changed to the low serious tone, the one he was talking in when Hoseok cried on his shoulder.   
  
“Hobi said something about me not being able to talk about my feelings and Won told him to calm the fuck down and not cross boundaries. Then he wanted my number and Hyungwon told him he should write an email with his claims using law terms and shit. I have no idea, maybe he didn’t like him after all.” It was true, why would the arrogant as fuck Hyungwon behave like a crazy person. He must have had reasons Hoseok didn’t know about.   
  
“You’re a fucking idiot Hoseok. I’m really sorry to tell you that. Actually you and Won are both idiots. Harvard is an idiot university. Either way I gave your number to Hobi so he might call you soon. I just wanted to make sure you know.” He huffed and hung up.   
  
Nice, Hoseok should be thankful. Who would insult him if there wasn’t his best friend Lim Changkyun? A feeling of terror spread in his insides, the reason being rather simple. He had no idea what Hobi wanted from him. The memory of the look in the dancer’s eyes when he observed him and Won talking outside sent shivers through his body.

Hoseok was over it. It had been so long ago after all and Hobi had never really talked about it. Neither had Hoseok, because it had been obvious for him that Hobi just went back to his straight life, not giving a shit about him and his feelings that had been there at some point.   
  
Hoseok opened a folder and double clicked a music file. ‘1Verse’ was the beat he had made for Hobi back in the days, the dancer had rapped over it and created an amazing choreography.

But why did he appear again, out of nowhere, making Hoseok confused and forcing him to remember the fact that the situation with Won was not the first time he ended up hurt? Although this time the scale was different.  
  
His obsession with Hyungwon was a catastrophe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello there dear Hyungwonho shippers,
> 
> As you might have realized things are about to get complicated ;P
> 
> Can't wait to read what you think!
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe I am having a discussion on you not putting your dick where I want it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one huge ass chapter with a gigantic emotional rollercoaster coming your way.
> 
> Bascially Hyungwon is crying, but Hoseok's dick is still hard.
> 
> You'll see in the end :)

Hyungwon hated work. It made no sense whatsoever considering that he had chosen work over partners, friends and his own passion for dancing more than once, but still he couldn’t feel anything but disgust for his profession for the past week. Time that he could have spent with Hoseok was pushed into hours of consultations with people that were too dumb for their own good, unable to make proper decisions and needed help during all steps of the court process. 

Partially it was his fault. He had avoided everything for a whole week before Hoseok and him made up, not going to work, staying at home in his pyjamas, feeling miserable because he had hurt the other man. 

Of course work piled up over that time, drowning him wave after wave and only letting him suck in some oxygen every two days. It was friday night, a time when people with a life hung out with friends and got themselves a nice drink, but of course Hyungwon was in his office contemplating his life choices and staring at a letter he had to answer until midnight. Unfortunately it was exactly half past 11PM and time was running out.

The only thing that kept him sane and happy were the constant messages that Hoseok sent him during the day. It was a lot of weird shit, most of it not qualifying as a proper message or sometimes a weird youtube video, but Hyungwon still liked it. It was somehow refreshing compared to the silent treatment they had always given each other before, only talking when they saw each other and even then usually with their hands instead of their mouths. Well, also mouths but not in the intended fashion. 

_ What are you even thinking about, you need to finish this fucking letter. _

Hyungwon focused on the piece of paper in front of him, fingers quickly typing out a reply that sounded like he cared and solved the problem. Having completed about six lines he felt satisfied. No typos and no accidental sarcastic remarks. Perfect. Sending it off and leaning back in his chair he finally relaxed his muscles, back aching from sitting down the whole day. 

His fingers itched to write to Hoseok, but it was late and he didn’t want to seem too desperate, because he wasn’t. He was totally fine and didn’t need to check his phone every free minute, especially since most of the time it was Minhyuk’s pathetic attempts to get through to him. Hyungwon had successfully avoided them all. The good thing about a phone was that you didn’t have to pick up if you didn’t want to.

The sudden rhythmic vibration in Hyungwon’s pocket surprised him enough to feel the pain in your lungs when you breath in wrongly, burning like a bitch. Fuck. Again, luckily there was no reason to pick up. Hyungwon eyed the caller id.

Unless it was Changkyun. Fuck. That’s when one definitely had to pick up. 

“Shoot, Changkyun. How come you are awake?” Hyungwon immediately felt dumb, as it was friday night and the two of them usually went to a bar or checked out a movie.   
  
“How are you Won? Everything okay?” Changkyun sounded worried for some unknown reason. It was weird, but Hyungwon just went with it. 

“Sure, just drowning in the stupidity of other people as usual. You? Chilling on a friday night?” He placed one leg on top of the other and turned in his office chair, looking at the furniture and the artworks gracing the walls while waiting for Changkyun to answer.   
  
“I’m okay, just a little pissed taking care of communication issues with Hoseok’s previous crush.” That got Hyungwon’s attention immediately. Crush? What crush? Why did Hyungwon not hear about this before? 

_ What fucking crush? _

He calmed down to sound unaffected, breathing slowly through his nose. 

“Crush? Why would you have to deal with that Changkyun? Sounds bothersome.”   
  
“Mhh, aren’t we all involved in this together? I heard you told him to calm the fuck down and write you an email or something. I’m impressed.” The other man sounded more amused than anything else. Whom did Hyungwon tell to calm the fuck down, except for that reporter that wanted to sit on his lap yesterday?

_ Jung Hoseok, you dumbass. Your high school friend.  _

Hyungwon almost started coughing out of nowhere. Realizing the pause was too long he moved a few documents around on his table, pretending he had been busy with something. 

“Sorry, had to sort something. Do you mean Hobi? Yeah we met recently.” 

Wait, did Changkyun say Jung Hoseok was Hoseok’s crush? 

_ No fucking way. _

“Wait, Hobi is Hoseok’s crush?” Hyungwon’s voice rose to uncomfortable levels and he regretted not shifting some more documents for distraction. He wasn’t fucking okay right now. He should have threatened to sue him or something. Of course Hoseok had been uncomfortable, looking like he wanted to die and preferably sink into the ground and never crawl back out. Hobi had constantly touched him and looked like the dick he could be when he wanted something.    
  
“You didn’t know? I think it was about two years ago and intense as fuck. The fun thing is that Hobi wants something from Hoseok again, and that is what makes me confused. I thought it was over a long time ago, but now he’s here asking for his number and your relationship to him and stuff,” Changkyun elaborated further, sounding a mixture of amused and annoyed. Hyungwon took a deep breath, unable to concentrate. This was way too fucking much info out of nowhere and still he was mainly curious about one thing. 

“What did you tell him?” he heard himself ask back, voice slightly unstable.   
  
“The truth. That you’re straight and you’re just friends. What should I’ve told him?” The question caught Hyungwon off guard, the pause stretching uncomfortably long again. 

“No, Changkyun. That’s exactly what you should have said,” he replied eventually, not sounding like himself. 

But Hobi was as straight as a ruler. 

“I don’t understand though. I remember sitting in the dance practise room and Hobi telling me about that chick he fucked for about two hours in disgusting detail. How the hell would a guy like that crush on someone as obviously male as Hoseok?”   
  
Changkyun started laughing like a maniac. That boy was fucking scary sometimes. 

“I’m just telling you because you’re my friend, but Hobi was the one who jumped him, a lot of times, with penetrative consequences, if you understand what I’m saying. And then they somehow broke off the contact, and Hoseok was comforted by me. True story.” Listening intently Hyungwon couldn’t shake off the feeling that Changkyun was trying to tell him something. Ignoring the penetrative consequences because he sure as hell didn’t want to imagine that he focused on the part that he understood. 

“Are you telling me Hobi is back to get into Hoseok’s pants and break his heart?”

Did Hoseok have a thing for accidentally seducing straight guys and falling in love? Fuck, this sounded much worse than Hyungwon initially thought. Hobi really hadn’t seemed like the person to jump another, very much male, guy and engage in penetrative sex. And to top everything off Hoseok was such a soft soul, probably fell in love with the way Hobi smiled like the fucking sun and that was it. He had a thing for details. 

_ Shit. What the hell does this make you Hyungwon? _   
  
“Hobi sure wants something from Hoseok and I have no fucking clue what, but Hoseok is so oblivious sometimes, that I’ve no idea what it will turn out like. He seriously didn’t do seducing back then though. He was just behaving like Hoseok. I was there.” Hyungwon felt furious, breathing through his nose again to not make it too obvious through the phone. Turning on his chair he looked at the ceiling while picking his words carefully. 

“Thank God Hoseok has people to compensate his shit for brains sometimes. Whatever the fuck Hobi is planning he better not touch Hoseok. He’s fucking sensitive and I’ll rip Hobi’s guts if he’ll hurt him.” Hyungwon was so angry he wanted to burn something, even if he didn’t have Hobi’s guts in front of him right now.   
  
“Wow, but Hobi is no joke though, and Hoseok really liked him back then. We’ll see, everything will be fine eventually.” Changkyun was trying to calm him down. The lawyer was not scared of Jung Hoseok, though. They had enough conflicts for him to know who ended up victorious most of the time. 

“How quickly does Hoseok fall outta love Changkyun?” Hyungwon couldn’t help but ask. He needed to know for his sanity and Hoseok’s poor heart in addition to the other man’s bad choices in men.    
  
“I think we both know well that you have Hoseok right now, so you better not hurt him. Asshole.” Hyungwon hummed in agreement, turning again on his chair. 

“I won’t Changkyun. I just need to know how likely it is for Hoseok to respond to Hobi’s advances. 

For science. 

To make sure that Hoseok didn’t get hurt. 

Just in case. 

It was really important. His fingers already itched to write to Hoseok and make sure the other man was next to him, instead of wherever he might have been right now, probably at his studio.

Without considering further Hyungwon stood up from his chair and began packing his bag, waiting for Changkyun to answer. His notebook and pen quickly flew into the leather suitcase and he threw on his autumn coat, closing it with one hand, the other still holding the phone to his ear.   
  
“Don’t know but he’s too nice. That’s a fact. If Hobi asks him for something, he will get it.” Hyungwon felt a cold shudder run down his back. 

“Fuck, talk to you later Changkyun,” he murmured into the phone and hung up. He was so going to Hoseok’s studio right now. There was no way that Hoseok wouldn’t be there. With all of the mess that his thoughts were he couldn’t help but feel calm at the thought that no matter whom Hoseok liked, none of them have ever been to his studio. 

_ Except for you, Hyungwon _ .

Running down the stairs without looking ridiculous he quickly walked to the garage and jumped into his car, feeling glad about the short distance between their work places. Stopping by a convenience store to grab some Ramyeon he needed exactly 20 minutes to end up in front of the security guard, Ramyeon in his hands and nice smile gracing his lips. 

“Can I go up like this or do you need to warn Hoseok?” he asked. The guard nodded shortly and accompanied Hyungwon to the elevator, put the card in and pressed the button. Thank god he remembered him from last time. Hyungwon really didn’t want Hoseok to know he was coming before he stood in front of the door. The likelihood that the guard only remembered him because he had been there was pretty high and Hyungwon wanted to keep his luck with entering the holy place on his side.

Standing in front of the heavy door he took a deep breath and knocked three times, long fingers resembling chalk against the black door.   
  
“Who’s there?” Judging by Hoseok’s low voice, he didn’t seem excited for visitors at all. Hyungwon really hoped that his opinion would change as soon as he knew that it was him. 

“It’s me, Hoseok. I brought food. Although eating at midnight is fucking disgusting and only pathetic people do that, but let’s ignore that for once.”    
  
Fast steps stopped in front of the door and the lock opened with a melody. Hoseok’s bright smile greeted him. 

“I love your monologues, but you have to repeat because the room is sound proof and the only reason I knew it was you, was the video camera outside.” Shit, Hyungwon felt embarrassed and looked to the side, mumbling something that hopefully sounded like ‘nevermind’. Then he placed the Ramyeon on Hoseok’s table and sat down next to it. 

“I just said that eating at midnight is disgusting but we can make an exception for once.”  
  
Hoseok ignored the Ramyeon and walked directly to him, curling his arms around Hyungwon’s waist, placing a soft kiss on his lips. The lawyer immediately felt overwhelmed, arms sneaking around Hoseok as if they were made for it and hating the fact that he wore a thick coat and couldn’t really feel the other properly. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he murmured against Hoseok’s lips, completely forgetting why he actually came. 

“I missed you so much I thought I would die.” Hoseok breathed against his jaw, placing kisses all over it and pulling Hyungwon’s body closer.

Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

“Okay that was kinda cheesy. How about I take my coat off so I can actually tell whether I’m hugged by you or just a gigantic mass of meat.”   


Hoseok laughed too and started unbuttoning the coat, slowly, moving his fingers skillfully from button to button. 

“I don’t give a fuck that you find me cheesy, so just deal with it. I’ll be so cheesy to you, you’ll think about this comment and wish to take it back.” Hyungwon smiled, loving the way Hoseok was so attentive and peeled his coat off. Thinking about a snarky remark he couldn’t help but grin, placing a kiss against the other man's mouth before licking over the bottom lip and pulling away. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll probably just vomit rainbows or something.”  
  
Hoseok backed off suddenly and pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. 

“Wait a second.” He picked up a call and held the phone against his ear, looking concentrated. Hyungwon hated that person and he didn’t even know who it was. Something in Hoseok’s expression changed, his eyes widened and mouth opened slightly.   
  
“Yeah, Changkyun told me, but I didn’t know you would really call. What’s up?” He looked at his feet while listening to the voice coming from the speaker. Hyungwon couldn’t help the heaviness that settled in his limbs, stomach feeling sick and the realization of who was calling hitting him like a storm. 

_ Jung Hoseok was calling Hoseok. Right fucking now _ . 

Hyungwon couldn’t believe his timing, but also didn’t know what he could possibly do. 

“Who’s that, Hoseok-ah?” he asked sweetly, still sitting on the table and acting exclusively out of instinct.   
  
“Yeah I’m at the studio right now but I don’t think you can come here. You can just tell me on the phone.” Hoseok didn’t seem to notice Hyungwon’s question as he just listened extremely concentrated with a serious look on his face. Hyungwon sighed in relief. He wasn’t sure whether he actually wanted Hobi to know that he was there and having more time to decide his next action was good. 

Hoseok looked incredibly uncomfortable just like he had in the cafe.   
  
“Why are you like this? It was two years ago and you basically disappeared. I don’t understand the point of talking about this now.” He walked a couple of steps and let himself sink into the beige leather of the couch, head propped on the backrest. His hand fumbled with the loose fabric of the ripped jeans. He was the most uncomfortable Hyungwon had ever seen him, nervous gestures appearing that the lawyer hadn’t encountered before. Slowly slipping off the table, leaving his coat there, he moved quietly over to Hoseok, sitting down and taking the nervous hand in his, clasping it.

Hyungwon wasn’t sure whether it was okay for him to do that but Hoseok looked like he really needed it. After all Changkyun had been fucking right and Hobi was trying to get him into something he might not really be in for. The lawyer really wanted to grab the phone and tell Hobi to back the fuck off. 

Childhood friendship be damned.   
  
“Listen, I’m really sorry that I’ve apparently hurt you. I didn’t realize to be honest. Let’s meet up tomorrow at noon and you can tell me everything you hate about me and we can hopefully get over this.” He sighed and hung up. Hyungwon couldn’t breathe. 

Hobi was going to meet up with Hoseok and most likely say really horrible and hurtful things and Hoseok would just hate himself because he was a soft soul and-. 

_ Fuck _ . 

His eyes were so wide he felt like they were going to pop out of his face, hands tingling and unbelieving that he wasn’t able to stop this. After all this is why he came.

_ Damn _ . 

Still he couldn’t help feeling glad at the fact that he heard it. He needed to do something, anything. Make sure that Hoseok didn’t go.

“What was that about?” he asked carefully, still holding Hoseok’s hand in his. The producer closed his eyes and sighed, opening them after a little bit, but still not looking at Hyungwon. 

“Hobi called. He needs to talk to me about some issues from two years ago. So I’ll meet up with him tomorrow at noon,” he finally pressed out. Hyungwon swallowed and squeezed the producer's hand even more. 

“Hoseok, are you sure that is a good idea?” he asked, lifting the palm to his face, gracing it with his lips, watching Hoseok’s troubled expression.   
  
“Well still better than him coming here. I don’t like people coming here. If he thinks that I did him dirty, I have to listen.” Hoseok breathed in and out softly and turned to face Hyungwon. 

“I didn’t tell you about it, did I?” Hyungwon smiled and decided to be truthful. 

“That’s partially why I am here. I don’t mean to be that bitch in school that tells on people, but Changkyun told me and I doubt that you wanted him to.” Hyungwon placed a small kiss on the back of Hoseok’s palm, still holding it close to his face.   
  
“Changkyun was there for me all the way, so he is allowed to I guess. It would have been hard without him. Yeah, well then you know partially what this is about. I just don’t get his motivation to be honest,” he elaborated further. Hyungwon felt euphoric at Hoseok genuinely sharing his worries with him, breathing in his scent and feeling calm compared to the desperation from before. 

_ Hobi wants Hoseok though and him sharing his worries with you doesn't change that.  _

“I think I know his motivation pretty well,” he commented bitterly, remembering the look Hobi had when he had gandered Hoseok. Hyungwon knew that face too well. He spent enough time with Hobi back in the days to know, especially now that he was aware of their history.   
  
“Yeah? Maybe you can tell me then, or he can tell me tomorrow. I’ll just ask him what he wants from me. Besides telling me that I’m a bad person which I just apologized for.” Hoseok’s mouth widened in one of those stab in the gut smiles. 

Hyungwon couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the other man’s obliviousness. Sometimes he was really hopeless. Taking a deep breath the lawyer took Hoseok’s face, making sure he looked him right in the eyes when he pronounced his next words as carefully as he could. 

“Hoseok, I could bet he wants you to fuck him.”   
  
The other man’s eyes widened comically and he opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something but nothing came out. He looked honestly shocked.   
  
“I think you misunderstand Won. It was almost two years ago and he never called after those couple of times we, we were intimate with each other.” Hyungwon nodded at the words, showing Hoseok he was listening and not freaked out by his cute attempt at making everything sound softer than it was. 

“Hoseok,” he started, calling upon his never ending patience. “I know Hobi way longer than you, trust me. I know exactly what his face looks like when he wants to fuck someone. I’ve seen it often enough. I cannot tell you if it’s because he likes you or because he wants you but I would bet my dick on it. That’s how sure I am.” He still held Hoseok’s face and really wanted to kiss him instead.   
  
The producer turned around and buried his head between his knees. 

“What the actual fuck? Why are people like this seriously?” Hyungwon was just about to answer until he realized that he most likely belonged to the ‘people’ that Hoseok was talking about. 

“People just don’t know what they want until it’s too late,” he murmured, feeling dread manifest itself in his chest and yearning to bury his face in Hoseok’s neck.   
  
“Thank you so much for coming here.” Hoseok looked up and put his hand on Hyungwon’s thigh. “I’m so happy you’re here,” he added and leaned against the backrest. 

“Wanna cuddle?” Hyungwon heard himself ask before his brain caught up with the words. It just came out like that, seeing Hoseok still rather devastated and like a hug was exactly what he needed, Hyungwon just forgot the sarcasm, as usual. 

The black haired man looked to the right and threw a leg over Hyungwon’s lap, placing himself exactly over it. Smiling, Hyungwon curled his arms around Hoseok’s waist and leaned further into the couch, getting comfortable. Hoseok propped himself against the wall using his left arm and leaned down until there were only a couple of centimeters between their faces. 

“Actually a fucking tornado can come throwing a BMW in my face, and I wouldn’t care if you’re next to me like that.” 

Hyungwon laughed out loud and pinched Hoseok’s side. 

“First, the rainbow is already moving up my throat Hoseok and second if it’s a BMW you better hold out your muscular arms and fucking catch it. That shit is expensive.” Still smiling he kissed Hoseok’s cheek and chin, before leaning against the wall again. 

“So how was your libido this week?” Hoseok asked with a wide grin. “Did you miss me?” Hyungwon almost choked on nothing, eyes wide and hating the fact that Hoseok could see it all because their faces were barely apart.

“I missed you independent of my libido you idiot,” he whispered, feeling that everything he said was much too loud in the studio, especially with Hoseok sitting on his lap. Placing another kiss on the other man's lips he closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled slowly. He really had to get something out after the whole Hobi story. 

“Hoseok?” he began, as usual unable to just get it out like this without having the producer’s full attention. 

“Mhm?” Hoseok was just sitting there, smiling at him, too damn close to his face. A little nervous Hyungwon swallowed again, trying not to be distracted with how beautiful Hoseok looked when he was happy. 

Hyungwon wanted to keep him like this forever.

“I need to promise you something, because it is important to me,” the lawyer eventually declared, hands moving up and down on Hoseok’s waist and warmth from the other man’s thighs seeping through his suit pants. 

“You want to promise me something? Why?” Hoseok looked a little confused. Hyungwon closed his eyes again, placing another kiss on the producer’s lips and opening them to see the brown orbs above him, making sure that Hoseok could tell he wasn’t bullshitting him. 

“No matter what happens between us,” he got out, pronouncing clearly. “Seriously, no matter what. I won’t just fuck off and not call you. That’s a fucking dick move and nobody should ever do that, even if they are confused or unsure. Okay?” Hyungwon meant every word. 

Even if he realized that he wanted to return to his straight life after the excurse with Hoseok he wasn’t going to just disappear from the other man’s life like an asshole, leaving the ethereal being on his lap to deal with all the consequences himself. He wasn’t going to do that, ever. 

_ No fucking way _ .   
  
“Mhm, that’s a nice thing to say. Thank you.” Hoseok smiled at him but it looked so sad. 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Hyungwon couldn’t help asking, feeling hurt at the way Hoseok didn’t even consider it, words sounding empty. 

“No, I do believe you. I just thought about whether not calling is the worst of the consequences.” Hyungwon considered that for a moment. Hoseok’s face was still only millimeters from his, sad smile in place. 

“But would you prefer not to see me, in case we cannot be close like this?” 

Hoseok’s expression changed to a concentrated one. 

“You know, I’ll try to give you an example. If there is something you really want, something you want so much that it hurts. A person comes up to you and tells you, you won’t have it, ever. But you’ll be able to look at it instead. Will it be something that makes you happy? Do you understand what I’m saying? I mean at this rate you will take the opportunity to look at it at least, but won’t you feel the loss from not being able to have it in the first place?”

Hyungwon genuinely had to think about that. He was always of the opinion that giving up on something just like that was a cowardly move of not being able to deal with consequences. He hadn’t thought of it the way Hoseok expressed it. If he would love a friend he would still prefer to be friends than not to see them at all. 

“Hoseok, but if I would be in love with a friend...” He paused trying to put himself in that situation. “I think I would still prefer to be around them and stay friends instead of not seeing them at all. Especially if that friend values me as well.”  
  
“Mhm, I get that, but let me ask you one thing. Imagine right now, imagine I was your friend whom you can’t touch, with whom you’re not allowed to be closer than what a normal friend considers appropriate.” He curled his arms around Hyungwon and pressed him into a hug. “How does it feel like?” 

Hyungwon closed his eyes, trying to swallow down the heavy feeling in his chest. 

He couldn’t. 

“It hurts,” he whispered, chest throbbing painfully and only Hoseok’s arms keeping him afloat. The other man kissed the spot behind his ear and whispered his answer, warm breath grazing his skin.  
  
“Because you can’t just do what you want, because there is this other person, who actually doesn’t want to be that close to you. You will keep thinking about it and it will drive you crazy.”

Hyungwon pressed his face further into Hoseok’s chest, pinching his eyes shut and breathing in the scent of the other man. He tried to calm his racing thoughts, fear numbing his limbs. Despite it all he forced himself to answer.

“I can’t take this. Please kiss me Hoseok” 

  
  
***

 

Hoseok knew what the worst situation in his imagination was. It was Hobi calling him on the phone, telling him he missed him, that he missed Hoseok’s body and his touch so much, he missed it to be filled out completely, craving it so intensely he couldn't think about anything else for the past two years, while Hyungwon was sitting next to him squeezing his hand and staring right into his eyes.

_ Shit. Fuck _ .

He tried hard to think about why Hobi would say stuff like that, probably to make fun of him, but it wasn't fun at all. The other man had started the phone call like a normal person but it had changed after Hoseok told him he couldn't come to his studio to talk. 

The dancer was talking about Hoseok knowing fucking well that he had been straight before the whole thing with the producer but despite the hesitation he had still wanted him. That Hobi had been confused and felt used but still wanted Hoseok in every possible way, involving rather detailed descriptions of the producer’s dick inside of him.

_ Shit, _ he felt nauseous, having Hyungwon there while listening to stuff like that and having to pretend it was something else. In the end he was able to convince Hobi to meet up the next day so he could postpone the suffering.

That’s what he had thought, but the suffering only started because Won was there. The lawyer was so beautiful and tender, every movement of his reminded Hoseok of how much he felt towards the ethereal human being.

Straddling his lap and looking him in the eyes, everything became so blurry that Hoseok wanted to melt at the gentle words and small kisses the other gave him.

Even Hyungwon’s promise to call him after it was over between them. 

Hoseok knew the lawyer hadn’t thought about it. It had sounded like ‘I'm going to leave you, but I will call you afterwards’. 

He was disappointed in himself for showing reaction, for being sad and petty about it.

“I can't take this, please kiss me Hoseok.” 

Those words from the lawyer caused a short circuit in his brain and he remembered that being close to Hyungwon was the only thing that really mattered in the end. 

His arms curled around the lawyer’s neck, lips touched the red plump ones softly, his tongue sliding in, exploring and playing as if it was the first time. 

“Fuck Won I missed touching you so much.” His body physically longed for the other, pain spreading in his lower stomach. The lawyer seemed to feel similarly, pulling him closer and further into his lap, kissing his lips with the same vigor if not more and breathing him in as if he was the only air he needed. 

“I missed you in general Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered with a smile, nibbling on his bottom lip and licking inside his mouth. “I also love the way you feel on my lap.” They had only kissed but both of them were already breathless. 

Hoseok wanted to feel him, he wanted to drown his body in Hyungwon’s, but his sanity kept telling him to stop. 

“I don't know what to do, I just want you so much.” Hoseok moaned into the lawyer’s mouth like a desperate idiot, which he was. 

Hyungwon caught his moan with his lips, sliding his right hand between Hoseok’s legs, stroking his crotch tentatively, long fingers drawing patterns on his clothed erection. 

“When will you finally understand Hoseok? I want you too. Still, and so fucking much.”

He heard his own moans getting louder, hovering over the other man, who was looking so fucking hot under him, touching him through the thick fabric. Hoseok buried his head into the crook of Hyungwon’s neck, moaning at the touch, sucking on the tender skin, gasping in his ear. 

“Tell me what you want, I'll do it all,” he breathed out against the other man's skin. 

The lawyer hissed, pushing Hoseok’s hips further against himself, causing friction for both of them and groaning. 

“Take me home with you Hoseok,” he answered, voice deep and moans sounding unusually loud in the studio. 

It felt like he had something to drink, his mind blurry as he drove home with Hyungwon sitting on the seat next to him, for the first time. 

“I have a question,” Hyungwon suddenly interrupted the silence, not having spoken a word since they left the studio. 

“Sure.” Hoseok’s voice sounded hoarse too from not speaking for a while. Turning away to watch the city lights Hyungwon continued. 

“Have you ever had penetrative sex with a man while being the active individual?” His voice sounded like he was picking his words carefully. Hoseok tried not to look right, concentrating on the road and attempting to calm his heartbeat. 

“I only had penetrative sex while being qlthe active individual to be honest.” 

Hoseok could see the lawyer nod in his periphery. Turning to the front Hyungwon took another deep breath. 

“Was the person,” He paused and looked away again. “Was the person okay afterwards?”

_ Oh no. _

Hoseok finally understood where the discussion was going. 

“I will never hurt you Won, and I will never lose control with you. You don't need to be scared.” Hoseok tried to reassure the other so he wouldn't think Hoseok would just try to fuck him. He had tried hard to resist and he hadn't snapped until now. 

The lawyer growled in annoyance. 

“That's not even the point Hoseok!” he exclaimed, blushing so much that Hoseok could tell without taking his eyes of the road. “I just want to know if your dick can be biologically survived by a normal human being for fuck’s sake. Without any bodily damage.” Groaning from embarrassment Hyungwon turned to look at the street lights again. 

“Oh.” The realization finally hit Hoseok and he felt stupid. “I guess the other must have liked it a lot if he keeps talking about that after two years, I guess.” Well that had been a bad example, although Hobi talking about it after such a long time spoke for the positive effect.

Hyungwon was staring at him from the side, obviously angry. “So you lied. You knew that he wanted you to fuck him,” he whispered, voice pressed and unlike him. 

“No Won, I thought him telling me that was something he used to make me angry, although I have the feeling that he'd heard you being next to me in the studio.” Hoseok sighed. “Either way, whether he liked it or not, it has nothing to do with us.” 

Hyungwon nodded and turned to look to the front, breathing softly and anger gone. 

“You're right. I'll just be honest with you. I'm rather slim in my built so my physics knowledge tells me to worry.”

“Why would you worry? I'd never do that to you.” Hoseok’s voice became quiet as he grabbed the wheel with so much force that his knuckles paled. The lawyer just stared ahead, left hand moving towards Hoseok’s thigh, resting on it. Gaze focusing on the ground and pressure in his fingers increasing he muttered an answer. 

“Because I want you to, you idiot.”

Hoseok felt as if the air was pressed out of his lungs. His breathing became irregular and he had trouble driving into his parking spot. 

“Could you not make jokes like that while I'm driving? We'll get into a fucking accident.” Hoseok unbuckled the belt and stared at the lawyer. Hyungwon didn't move out of the car although they arrived. He looked hurt, eyes focused on Hoseok and narrowed. 

“I'm not fucking joking with you Hoseok.”

“Come out,” Hoseok said in his low voice and stepped out of the car, going to the opposite side to open the door. Hyungwon climbed out, hurt stare not leaving his face and followed Hoseok, unusually quiet. 

After the silent elevator ride and silently unlocking the door, Hoseok kicked his shoes into a corner and went directly to the mini bar. 

This whole situation was a fucking joke.    
  
He poured a glass of the expensive shit Hyungwon and him drank before parting for three weeks and gulped it down in one go. Turning around he saw Hyungwon standing in the hallway. 

“Listen are you drunk, or crazy, or both?” Hoseok sounded a little angry, which he was. The lawyer was taking off his shoes and removing his coat. Then he simply stood in the door frame watching. 

“The one who's inhaling a whole glass of Cognac is you Hoseok,” he answered, seemingly wary of Hoseok’s behavior, still looking hurt.

“Yes because I need a reason for why I'm going absolutely crazy. Won, why do you look hurt? What the fuck is happening?” He walked over until there was not that much space left between them. Hoseok hated his breathing rhythm. It was as if his body was screaming around for everybody to hear. 

“Why are you going crazy Hoseok?” Hyungwon asked calmly, arms reaching out for him and settling around his neck. 

“Because I promised myself not to do anything like this to you, using up all the resources I have and you just sit in my car and say stuff like that.” Hoseok closed his eyes trying to calm the fuck down, trying not to think too much about what Hyungwon just told him. The arms around his neck got tighter, Hyungwon's warm body pressing against his, hot breath on his ear. 

“Hoseok, you also told me that you would, if I asked nicely. So here I am.”

_ Oh fuck, he didn’t _ .    
  
Hyungwon just used all the weaknesses he knew about against him. Well, the other man was a professional lawyer after all. Hyungwon was supposed to make people crumble under his iron arguments and Hoseok found himself doing exactly that.   


He felt like his insides were burning up his lungs, everything melting in one huge fire ball. His arms just involuntarily found the lawyer’s body and pressed it closer to his chest, his mouth sucked in Hyungwon’s plump bottom lip and he felt the other man's erection against his stomach. Hyungwon kissed back with force, holding onto Hoseok tightly and gasping into his mouth at every bit of friction he blessed him with. 

Hoseok broke the kiss and took Hyungwon’s hand, leading him into the bedroom. 

“I want to see you naked.” Hoseok’s eyes changed. He ate the lawyer up with his gaze as if he was a five course meal and the producer had starved for a week. 

Hyungwon smiled as soon as they entered the bedroom and pulled at his silk shirt. “Want to unpack me yourself or shall I do it?” he asked playfully. 

Of course he wanted to unpack. He wanted everything Hyungwon was willing to give him, no matter what it was. Pulling the silk over the lawyer's head slowly, enjoying every piece of skin he could see and touch, Hoseok thought he might just die like this and have no regrets. He touched the soft skin with his fingers, placing kisses on the lawyer’s neck and chest, licking and sucking on a nipple while his hands unbuttoned the suit pants. 

“Fuck, Hoseok,“ Hyungwon gasped, grabbing his hair but not pulling him away, chest rising and falling quickly, skin hot to the touch. “Take off your shirt. I want to feel you.” 

Hyungwon’s demanding voice hit his eardrums. Hoseok complied and got rid of his shirt in one smooth motion, still breathless and standing across from each other. He still couldn't believe he was this hooked.  
  
“Touch me Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered with a smile, stroking Hoseok’s face and running long fingers over his chest, rolling a nipple between his index finger and thumb.

He wanted to touch Hyungwon. He wanted it so much that he didn't know where to start. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was going to fulfil every fucking request that the lawyer asked of him. 

Besides the one he told him about in the car. That was not something Hyungwon really wanted and not something Hoseok could give him just like that either.    
  
The lawyer slid down to lick over Hoseok’s abs, tongue slipping inside his navel and following the path down to the beginning of his jeans. Taking the button into his mouth, Hyungwon easily opened it with his teeth and slid the zipper down, mouthing the erection through the fabric of his trunks. 

He couldn't help but moan at this kind of sensation. The sight alone left him absolutely breathless. Half naked Hyungwon on his knees in front of him breathing against his dick was already too much to handle. The libido was indeed different when you were in love. Hyungwon placed a careful kiss on the tip of his clothed dick and looked up. 

“Don't you want to finish unpacking?” he asked, healthy blush covering his cheeks and lips moist from licking over them.

“You bet.” Hoseok pulled him up and slid the suit pants down including the underwear, helping the lawyer to step out of it. He stood up and curled his arms around Hyungwon’s waist, walking forward pushing the lawyer with him, until they arrived at the neatly made bed. 

“You are quadzillion times better than a present.” Hoseok found himself shamelessly moaning every word, not able to control himself. 

“You're the one talking. Look at yourself,” the other man whispered against his lips, attempting to pull Hoseok’s pants down his legs, fingers trying but he was too tall to do it without sinking down himself. Hoseok helped him out and slid out of the rest of his clothes.

He simply stood on the spot and stared at the naked beauty that sat down on the edge of his bed, looking up at him with those warm brown eyes. 

“Being next to you and naked makes me pretty self conscious,” he said with a laugh, looking up and down Hoseok’s body before placing his hand on Hoseok’s thigh and most likely savoring the contrast. 

Hyungwon was fucking kidding him, sitting there being the epitome of ethereal beauty. Hoseok sank down on his knees and caught the lawyer's bottom lip with his teeth, licking over it shortly after and placing his hands on the lean thighs. 

“I don't mean to be cheesy Hoseok and you know it, but you make me feel so content it's unreal. Usually I hate hanging out with others almost immediately, but I just can't get enough of you.” Hyungwon covered Hoseok’s hands with his own and focused on him, eyes wide and every facial feature expressing absolute wonder. Softly kissing Hoseok’s lips he inhaled and smiled at him, expression switching to pure delight. 

“I want you Hoseok.” 

The other just made Hoseok fall in love with him more, every fucking second.  
  
“I want you too, so much. That’s why I’m going to make you feel good.” 

He kissed the soft skin between Hyungwon’s legs and licked a stripe from the shaft to the tip, twirling his tongue around it, playing with it and moaning while taking him in his mouth. His hands playing with the lawyer’s balls, Hoseok was bathing in the sounds coming from Hyungwon’s mouth. He needed to make him come, so the other would finally stop undermining Hoseok’s resolutions and making him suffer from the thoughts alone.

“Hoseok, you'll make me come like this, wait,” Hyungwon gasped, fingers tightening in Hoseok’s hair and trying to pull him away. 

Yes that was the point and that was also the reason he didn’t stop and deepthroated the other repeatedly, tip hitting the back of his throat, moans over moans spilling out of his mouth to make the vibration more intense. The pulling on his hair became painful. 

“I won't let you get off my case like that Hoseok,” Hyungwon moaned, breathing heavily and fighting his body. Hoseok gave in and stared up at the other man in pure disbelief. 

“What?” 

Hyungwon stared back, intakes of breath irregular and voice wrecked. 

“You're trying to get me off in the hope that I'll get back to my senses afterwards. I'm not stupid.” 

Hoseok just grinned back, while licking around the tip. 

“Well, we can see whether it helps,” he whispered and moved his lips softly around the shaft. “Well, I also want to get you off because I love how you fall apart like this, and I love how you taste in my mouth,” he added and breathed against the slit. “Why aren’t you being a good boy and come down my throat, while moaning my name, like I want you to?”

Hyungwon sucked in a breath, obviously fighting with himself. “Because I'm afraid you'll ditch me.” He looked to the ceiling, concentrating on something he found up there. 

“Are you stupid? Why would I ditch you? I’m able to breathe because you’re here in the first place.” Hoseok didn’t understand the sudden mood change at all. 

“I just don't understand why you would sleep with Hobi but not me,” Hyungwon forced out, obviously shocked himself by the words leaving his mouth.    
  
Hoseok released the erection and looked up, eyes widened at the sudden confession. Was that really the problem? That he slept with Hobi and Won felt self conscious about that?

But why would he?  
  
“You want to know?” He narrowed his eyes getting absolutely serious. He also didn’t get why Hyungwon wouldn’t know the reason, being that smart lawyer he was. The other man nodded, obviously relieved at Hoseok not straining his endurance anymore.  
  
“I’ve never confessed between someone's legs, but there’s a first time for everything right?” He smiled taking Hyungwon’s hands in his. “I won’t sleep with you because I love you, and I’d only do it, if I’m absolutely sure that you feel the same. Which you don’t,” he shot out and used the silence to take Hyungwon’s erection back into his mouth, sucking on it and holding Hyungwon’s hands in place. 

The lawyer gasped loudly at the sudden sensation, and buried his nails into Hoseok’s hands. Hyungwon’s body shivered and tensed, releasing himself into Hoseok’s mouth, moaning his name, like the producer had wanted him to.    
  
“Fuck you are indeed the most beautiful human on the planet, aren’t you?” Hoseok smiled, stroking the velvety skin of the lawyer’s thighs and placing small kisses on the long fingers that were still holding onto his hands. Hyungwon looked a mixture between wrecked and angry. 

“You lied to me again.“ That came out of nowhere and Hoseok looked back surprised.  
  
“Ehm no? I didn’t?” 

Hyungwon pouted angrily, lip pulled between his teeth but it looked rather sweet instead. 

“Changkyun said you crushed on Hobi, so of course you liked him and were hurt in the end. It's the same situation isn't it?” 

Shit, Changkyun should’ve kept his mouth shut for once.   
  
“No it’s not.” Hoseok stood up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink to be able to talk at all. Hyungwon was making him so bitter. The other man compared himself to Hobi which was not comparable at all and he himself hadn't been the same person back then. 

Hyungwon made it sound like Hoseok was only hurt because Hobi and him had sex, which was bullshit and didn’t represent the situation at all. Moreover the reason for not having sex with Hyungwon was so simple. He didn’t want it because it didn’t make sense. The only scenario where it would’ve made sense was if Hyungwon loved him back.    
  
He came back with a glas of water and gave it to the lawyer, who was still sitting on the bed looking like personified sin. 

“Thank you,“ he said and drained the glass, glancing at him like he had something to say. Hoseok lay on the bed and pulled his thick blanket over the naked body.    
  
“Come here.” He didn’t mean to sound dominant but it kind of came out like that. The lawyer acted immediately, crawling on top of Hoseok and placing one arm and one leg across his chest and hips. Hoseok put his arm around the lean body and pulled the blanket up, covering them both.    


“I’m sorry it just doesn’t make any sense to me,” he started, almost whispering because Hyungwon’s head rested on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to hurt you with what I said and you better not compare yourself to Hobi, because you’re not and I don’t feel the same about you.”

Hyungwon buried his face even further in Hoseok’s neck, cheeks warm. 

“When you meet him tomorrow...” He breathed in his scent as if he needed it to go on. “And he asks you to sleep with him. What will you do?” 

What the fuck? What was this question?  
  
“Ehm, I won’t? What did you think?” Hoseok stared down although Hyungwon couldn’t see him. “Don’t tell me you considered the possibility that I would? Are you crazy Chae Hyungwon?” 

This asshat was lying on top of him and bullshitted as if there was no tomorrow. 

“I want to be exclusive, Hoseok.” The lawyer held onto Hoseok tighter, nails digging into his arms and breath still harshly hitting his throat.

Hyungwon must have been on drugs.    
  
“Listen up, I have no idea what kind of substances you took before coming to my studio, but you better calm down quickly. I can’t handle you like this. What is it about exclusivity? As if I’d see someone else if I can see you. What kind of bullshit is that?” Hoseok got a little mad pulling Hyungwon closer to calm down, breathing in the intoxicating scent. The lawyer smelled so good that Hoseok wanted to be surrounded by it every day. He actually almost told Hyungwon, that he didn’t want him to leave, ever. But it was so selfish and unnecessary that he managed to swallow it down in the process. 

A sudden thought crossed his mind. Something Hoseok hadn’t considered before.   
  
_ But it is possible to make him like you! You just have to try and see what happens.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Fuck he wanted to make Hyungwon his. His greed just got bigger with every touch and every nice word the other man spoke towards him. He didn’t think about acting upon it, but the facts danced around in his head, circling around the one thought.   
  
_ He might, Hoseok.  _ _   
_ __   
“Have you been in love before?” Hoseok asked, carefully picking the words to not sound insulting or stupid. He had so much trouble concentrating in general, with the thigh over his painfully hard dick, that talking about love in that kind of situation seemed absolutely out of place. Hyungwon’s limbs relaxed a little, not pulling Hoseok close with as much force as before. He lifted his head to look at Hoseok. He seemed unsure. 

“I guess? It's hard to tell isn't it?”  
_   
_ “Mhm, it’s always different, you’re right, but it’s not that hard to tell to be honest. At least not for me.” Hoseok smiled at the soft facial expression on the lawyer’s face, looking at him with those big brown eyes of his. He shifted his hips a little, to release his erection under Hyungwon’s thigh, the pressure was no joke. 

“Shit, are you okay? I kinda forgot with you distracting me and all.” He tried to help by moving his leg higher. “But you know Hoseok, I mainly dated people for a few years until it fell apart. So I think I loved them, but they also tired me out quickly and I hated it when they stayed over for too long.” Hyungwon looked in thought, seriously trying to answer the question. 

“That’s consistent with what I imagined.” Hoseok just confirmed what he already knew, Hyungwon didn’t really like having people around. The fact that the lawyer was lying on top of him, talking about love didn’t fit in this impression though.

“To be honest I like having you around more than all of those petite girls I dated before,” Hyungwon said with a laugh and pinched Hoseok’s nipple. “But I definitely looked more manly next to them. Man you're so fucking buff.” He continued abusing Hoseok’s nipple, grabbing his pec muscles and massaging them in his palms.    
  
“Don’t tease me. Have some mercy.” Hoseok whined at the touch. “Man I love your body so much, it’s doing things to me I can’t explain. That combined with you having this kind of asshole personality fucks with my sanity on a daily basis. Being next to you is like having diabetes and living in a fucking candy factory.” 

Hyungwon laughed loudly at that, having mercy on Hoseok’s chest and littering it with kisses. 

“Your metaphors are hilarious Hoseok. Thank you for calling me a fucking disease.”    
  
“I called you a candy factory you stupid. Where did you get your degree from again?” Hoseok laughed like a maniac at the other not getting the point. “Also could you not make me more hard than I already am? The suffering is no joke,” he added smiling down at his painfully hard dick. 

Hyungwon slid his hand between Hoseok’s legs, spoiling his cock with soft strokes. 

“Harvard,” he answered, impersonating Hoseok’s voice the last time he had answered the same question. Hoseok just managed to moan back, holding onto Hyungwon’s shoulder with one hand and grabbing the sheets with the other. “But Hoseok, I really don't want to end this with a sloppy handjob. I want you too much for that and coming inside your mouth didn't really help.” 

The movement on his dick ceased and Hyungwon sat up staring up at him. 

“Promise me that you'll only be with me.” As soon as the words were out Hyungwon rolled his eyes and groaned. “Fuck my life I sound like a possessive high school girl.”    
  
“I’ll be with you, like I am now and you can have everything you want from me, Won.”    
  
_ Everything. Until nothing was left _

 

*** __   
  


No matter how many times Hyungwon told himself that his infatuation with Hoseok was most likely temporary considering his usual taste in people (which definitely did not include muscular males) he still found himself strangely drawn to the other man. 

It was strong enough to wish for the premature death of someone he had previously considered a good friend. Hyungwon kept feeling contempt towards Hobi although the dancer hadn’t done anything to upset him. Except for having something that he did not. 

_ Hoseok _ .

It was childish but Hyungwon couldn’t help it. He knew that Hoseok only wanted to get him off to not have to follow through with his request. 

It was mean and didn’t respect his wishes at all. 

After all he had wanted to be close to the other man and had very clear reasons for that. Why would he be close to Hobi, but not to him? It made no sense. The fear that Hoseok would just sleep with Hobi when he asked spread through his limbs like a curse and made it impossible to enjoy the other man’s company to the fullest. Hyungwon wanted to have more than Hobi. He wanted all of Hoseok and he wasn’t willing to share.

Asking Hoseok to be exclusive made perfect sense to him. If he was already involved with Hoseok in the way he was and had absolutely no desire to be with anyone else it was just natural to keep it exclusive, making sure that no one got hurt and they settled everything on their terms. 

_ Admit it, you just want to keep Hoseok away from Hobi, because you wouldn’t go and fuck anyone anyway.  _

Yes, it was the truth and Hyungwon couldn’t change anything about it. Lying next to Hoseok on the bed, feeling the other’s warmth through his fingertips, he knew that there was no way that he would share Hoseok with anyone. Unable to contain it anymore he just said what his mind wanted to get out for the past hours, his embarrassing and possessive declaration that Hoseok was supposed to be his, his alone.

“I’ll be with you, like I am now and you can have everything you want from me, Won,” Hoseok answered, melting Hyungwon’s insides with his smile and making it hard to not just fall back into his arms and forget everything. It was so overwhelming and unusual for Hyungwon. All those doubts that he had felt when he woke up with Hoseok in his apartment were gone, only the wish to never leave this bed and have the other man next to him filling out his chest. 

“You’re mine,” he whispered, hands gliding over Hoseok’s thighs and eyes focused on the producer’s blinding smile.    


“I am.” Hoseok whispered back and placed a kiss on his head. Hyungwon's eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t meant for Hoseok to hear that. Fuck, he sounded so possessive. Hoseok was in love with him and he was being an asshole claiming him for himself, taking everything he was willing to give him and feeling angry at everything he denied him. 

_ What the fuck do you actually want Hyungwon? _

“Did I say that out loud? Fuck, why am I like this? You're yours obviously and I can't tell you shit. Don't just agree! I'll just continue doing it otherwise,” he muttered, still stroking Hoseok’s legs absentmindedly, fighting the wish to confirm the producer’s faithfulness again. Why was he like this? 

Because he knew Hobi and if the guy wanted something he was unstoppable. Hoseok was so soft and couldn't deny anyone anything. Hyungwon was terrified of him agreeing to fuck Hobi because the dancer asked nicely.   
  
“No you’re right, I’m yours. And I really wish you would continue doing this,” the other man whispered back.

Hyungwon threw himself on top of Hoseok, almost squishing him and holding on tight. 

“What the fuck is wrong with me,” he mumbled, not letting the other man go and bathing in Hoseok’s scent. “I'm so fucking scared of you meeting Hobi. Can't you just not go? Fuck.” Hyungwon felt so dissatisfied and frustrated, it was weird. He just couldn't help feeling so…

_ Jealous _ .

_ You're fucking jealous Hyungwon. Jealous because Hobi had Hoseok in a way that you didn't and because he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it.  _

Unlike Hyungwon himself. He wanted Hoseok, but then again he didn’t think he felt the same, but at the same time he didn't want Hoseok to be with anyone else. 

_ You're a dog on a hay stack Hyungwon. Unable to eat but unwilling to give it to anyone else.   
_ __   
Warm hands went up to cup his face and pulled him down softly. Hoseok looked at him with such a soft expression, closing his eyes before touching his lips. 

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m here, at least as long as you want me to be.” The other man raked his fingers through his hair and hugged him, pressing their naked bodies together, skin on skin, warmth flooding their core, melting into one. “But I will have to go because Hobi is someone who needs clarification, so he will get it from me.”

Hyungwon hissed, turning away and suddenly feeling annoyed again. 

“I hate that guy,” he commented and watched the way his fingers looked dark on Hoseok’s porcelain-like stomach. Why could Hobi get all those things from Hoseok just because he was nice? “I feel like he had something that I didn’t and I want it.”

_ Great Hyungwon, you can be so proud of yourself. _

There he was showing Hoseok his kindergarten self, upset about not getting something that he wanted although he had been fucking terrified of it mere hours ago. 

Hyungwon was indecisive as fuck and it was amazing that Hoseok hadn’t dropped his fucking ass yet. All his friends would have stopped calling him weeks ago to make sure he would get his shit together and remember that he liked them too much to be an asshole all the time.    
  
“I told you, you will get everything you really want. As long as it makes sense to me,” Hoseok answered calmly, looking like the sun itself, skin white and cheeks colored. Hyungwon laughed loudly at that, anger bubbling under the surface again. 

“Do you know what that sounds like? ‘I’ll give you everything you want as long as I want to’. And I mean, you have every right, but before you told me I just needed to ask nicely.” Desperate with his dilemma he buried his head into his hands. 

What the hell was this? Was he seriously arguing over anal sex with Hoseok in his bed? 

“I can’t believe I am having a discussion on you not putting your dick where I want it.”   
  
“Listen up Chae Hyungwon, you can have my dick wherever you want it, but if I have the feeling you are on drugs and want stuff that basically doesn’t make any sense to a mediocre human like me, I won’t do it. Yes, ask nicely and explain it to me. Preferably using proper argumentation strategies, and not ‘I want it because the other dude had it too’.” Hoseok breathed in after the monologue, grabbing Hyungwon’s jaw with his right hand. The lawyer couldn’t control his facial expressions, shock at the outburst coloring every muscle of his face. 

Shit, Hoseok had a point, but so did Hyungwon. Feeling uncomfortable and partially shy he looked away again. No matter how many times his face decided to gain some color he was not fucking looking at Hoseok when it happened. 

“I wanted you to fuck me before I knew that Hobi had the hots for you,” he whispered, sincerely hoping that Hoseok didn’t hear, but knowing it had been loud enough.   
  
“I’m not so sure about that though.” Hoseok tilted his head to the side searching for something in Hyungwon’s pink face. “But you look so hot, with the blush covering your cheeks like that.” 

Feeling how his face heated up more at the words Hyungwon wanted to punch someone, staring pointedly at his hands in his lap. 

“I am though. I thought about it after you fingered me. A lot. I also thought about it during this week while both of us were so busy. I thought about it when you were kissing me on the couch in your studio and obviously during the car ride here.” Hyungwon kept his eyes focused on the way his fingers moved on top of each other, trying to keep the blood out of his face and hoping his body didn’t betray him, remembering his own thoughts.   
  
“Stop saying that. Can I like come first before you tell me stuff like that? I have a huge problem between my legs,” Hoseok shot out and buried his nails in Hyungwon’s thighs. 

“I don’t give a shit Hoseok. You told me to give you arguments so that’s what I’m fucking doing. In my whole fucking life I have never been sexually interested in anyone as much as I am interested in you. You might laugh about my one week libido but that’s what it fucking was like before I met you, okay?” Hyungwon spit out, still praying to stay calm and not react to the way Hoseok’s nails felt in his skin.   
  
“I’m sorry. I understand everything. You have amazing arguments, just fucking stop.” Hoseok closed his eyes and was trying to breathe properly, nails still in place. Hyungwon’s blood still cooked in his veins, moving himself on top of Hoseok and staring at him, waiting for his eyes to open and to fucking look at him. 

“Don’t shit me Hoseok and listen to me. I just want you to know that I’m different and no matter what you might be thinking I won’t run off on you when you fuck me, okay?  _ I fucking won’t _ . I’ll be honest with you. I hoped that I could and felt convinced that I would until about a week ago, but I won’t be able to because-”, Hyungwon stopped not knowing the answer to that question. He didn’t know why he wouldn’t be over it. It just seemed like a fact burned into his brain, forcing him to accept it without needing any rationalization.   
  
“And then you ask me why I think that you’re on drugs. Won, what are you even talking about? Do you really think I don’t want to fuck you because you might run away and hurt me? Starting with the fact that I want to fuck you so badly that I’m having seizures just from your fucking monologue about it. Second, I don’t want to do something to you, no-one had ever done before, only because you think it might be fun or what not. If you come to me, tell me you love me and ask me to fuck you, that’s when I will, understood?” Hoseok shot out looking Hyungwon directly in the eyes, dominant and knowing clearly what he was talking about. 

Hyungwon was an idiot. 

Again he wanted Hoseok to do something that would turn his life into a torture session just because he wanted it. 

“Shit I’m sorry Hoseok,” he brought out, feeling oddly shattered and devastated himself. 

Why was he being like this? 

“I just don’t want anyone else,” he whispered, upset at himself for feeling that way. 

_ Shit. No no no no no no. _

No fucking way. 

Hyungwon felt like suffocating, eyes wide and throat constricting, panic rushing through his body like poison, numbing his perception and burning everything in it’s wake at the same time. Hoseok observed his face throughout and sat up on the bed, still holding Hyungwon’s thighs over his lap. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like this.” The other man curled his arms around the thin waist and buried his head in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck, placing soft kisses on the spots he breathed on. 

Hyungwon wasn’t able to react to any of it, hanging in his arms like a puppet and hyperventilating, feeling terrified of himself and the way he was feeling. What the hell was he supposed to do? It couldn’t be like this! He had to get his shit together and stop, forget everything, anything to get back to the way he was before. Calm and focused on his work and not giving a shit. 

He wanted to cry.

“Shit,” Hyungwon coughed out, throat burning and vision blurry, nothing making sense. Unable to focus he just stayed limp, everything threatening to fall apart around him and he could only watch it, body paralyzed.  
  
“I’m an asshole, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to pressure you and I didn’t mean to use my feelings to make you feel bad. Fuck.” Hoseok held him as close as humanly possible and stroked his head trying to calm him down. 

Didn’t he know that he was making everything worse? He should be treating him like shit so Hyungwon could get his sense back, words hurtful and ignorant of other people’s emotions. 

Fuck. 

“I am such an idiot Hoseok. Shit,” he sobbed, pathetically, unable to stop himself and still the beautiful producer treated him like a soft angel although he deserved none of it, holding him in place when he himself wasn’t able to.   
  
“Look at me! You’re not, just don’t leave. Please.” Hoseok looked at him with a mixture of panic and sadness drawn all over his face. He just couldn’t hide anything he felt from his facial expressions. The constricting feeling in his chest only increased seeing Hoseok like that, palm rising to stroke his cheek, emotions suffocating him and vision blurry. 

“I can’t fucking leave Hoseok. I’m in too deep already. Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Hyungwon couldn’t take this. He didn’t even know what any of this meant. 

What the hell was he supposed to do? 

The tears just kept running down, unstoppable and breathing difficult, hoping that if he continued like that he might faint and wake up in a situation where he wouldn’t have to deal with having feelings for Hoseok. 

_ You fucking like him Hyungwon, you stupid fucking idiot. You are afraid of him leaving you because you fucking can’t already. _ __   
  
“I guess it’s my turn now.” Hoseok smiled at him while wiping the trails of his tears with the back of his hand. “Come with me.” He pushed himself to the edge, taking Hyungwon’s body along and stood up, holding his thighs, until the lawyer’s feet touched the ground. Hoseok took his hand and dragged him to the bathroom for some reason, Hyungwon still not able to stop crying.   
  
“Here, I also have fancy bathtub shit. I bought it in silent hope you’d come to my door, being drunk as fuck someday.” Hoseok laughed like a monkey and turned on the water in the bathtub. Hyungwon couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth, watching how Hoseok jumped around naked to pour something horribly pink into the water. 

“I’m fucked Hoseok,” he repeated, still unable to grasp how he was supposed to act. Hoseok looked like a child, smiling brightly and embarrassing himself for no reason, but Hyungwon didn’t even consider him pathetic. 

_Shit._   
  
“You’re not, unless you ask me nicely next time. I might reconsider.” He laughed again, trying to loosen the tension and giving Hyungwon one hand, so he could step into the hot water. Sliding into the horrendously pink water Hyungwon felt his muscles unclench, Hoseok’s hand strong and warm leading him into the water. 

“Why would you suddenly change your mind?” he whispered, staring at the way the water looked like lava in love. It was ridiculous. 

“I have a weak spot for you asking me things nicely.” Hoseok smiled back and it looked genuine. 

Stretching out his legs and realizing that Hoseok’s bathtub wasn’t custom made for his height he couldn’t even get himself to get angry about it, make fun of the other man’s equipment. Like a fucking idiot he just blurted out what he couldn’t get of his mind. 

“I’ve never been in love with another man.” His voice sounded so unsure and scared, he wished he could take it back, drown it somewhere in the pink water surrounding him and never letting it see the light of the world again.   
  
“What? Hyungwon are you sure you’re okay?” Hoseok looked worried and hurried to touch his forehead, to see if he had a fever.

What the actual fuck? 

“I don’t have a fucking fever, but I’m also not fucking okay Hoseok,” Hyungwon whimpered, trying hard not to cry again. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why couldn’t he deal with this?

“I see, just tell me what I can do for you. I’m also not really experienced with taking care of other people to be honest. Do you want a cognac in the bathtub? I bet it feels nice to drink while in hot water,” Hoseok suggested, obviously pulling ideas out of his fingers. Hyungwon couldn’t help but smile despite the water in his eyes. Hoseok was so sweet, it wasn’t fair.

“If you could tell me how to stop liking someone that would be awesome, but I doubt that you can. A cognac sounds nice actually, maybe I can stop thinking about the fact that everything is much worse than I had imagined.” He didn’t even care about being straight forward anymore. Hoseok and him had agreed previously that being honest was the best. It was stupid to stop now, even if Hyungwon wished to drown in the liquid bubblegum he was bathing in.   
  
“Why would you want to stop liking someone? Any proper reasons? Wait, I’ll get you some good shit.” Hoseok ran out and came back in sweatpants and a tumbler with brown liquid, knowingly twirling it and passing it to Hyungwon. The question alone had been enough to crack Hyungwon’s resolve. Feeling the burning sensation on his cheeks he quickly added another kind of burning down his throat, emptying the liquid in one go. Just like Hoseok had when they just arrived. 

Maybe that’s why the other man was still so stable. 

Hyungwon felt anger building up. At Hoseok for always acting so friendly, at himself for not just bitching at him like he usually did. Why the fuck did he get into this whole thing anyway? 

“I hate this,” he almost screamed, hand grabbing the tumbler so hard it hurt. “I don’t fucking know what to do Hoseok. I’ve never liked another man! What the flying fuck am I supposed to do now? How do people deal with this? None of this makes any fucking sense!” He was out of breath from screaming, feeling so overwhelmed that he just pushed his head underwater to not have to deal with anything for a few seconds. 

Maybe accidentally pass out and drown.

Unfortunately Hoseok was probably too nice to let him lie there.   
  
“Are you trying to tell me that you like me by screaming at me, while lying naked in the bathtub in my bathroom? I mean it’s nothing against my confession, sitting naked with your dick in my hand, but still special.” Hoseok smiled at him knowingly and sat down next to the tub. “You’re probably confused. Just let a couple of days pass and you’ll probably forget about all this and will feel embarrassed as fuck, but I’ll be nice and act oblivious.” 

Sitting in the tub, warm water surrounding him and Hoseok’s gentle voice telling him he was just lying to himself, he really wanted to believe him and just relax and wail in the false comfort of everything being over after a few days. 

But Hoseok was wrong. 

He had tons of those days already and nothing fucking changed. The only thing that did was the fact that Hyungwon realized he had been an idiot and acted the exact same way he did when he genuinely liked someone. He had acted like an asshole to his high school friend and forfeited all of his principles for the other man. Even Changkyun probably realized, making fun of the way he had been dancing around himself like a pathetic idiot. 

“Hoseok, can’t you just be an asshole to me? I think it might make all of this so much easier.”   
  
“No.” Hoseok shot back, without much thought. “I can’t.” 

Of course Hoseok wouldn’t let him take the easy way out, he never did. 

“I’m afraid Hoseok.” The lawyer laughed bitterly. “Scratch that. I’m fucking terrified.”

“Explain.” The other man answered quickly. 

The terror just got worse. Saying it all out loud made it so much more real, but Hyungwon knew that he would also feel relieved and maybe cry a lot and then they could just come up with some genius solution, like in movies and suddenly everything would be perfectly fine, everyone living the way they really wanted to, happily ever after. 

He sucked in a deep breath and couldn’t erase the self-depreciating smile on his lips. 

_ This was pathetic _ . 

“Basically I am an idiot,” he started and laughed shortly, liking the way the truth echoed back at him in Hoseok’s bathroom. “You know that I hate being with people. Never engaged in oral with my girlfriends, never let them stay over more than once, hating it when they did, feeling uncomfortable with someone else in my bed. I didn’t give a shit if they danced with someone cause I knew I looked better and had nothing to worry about. Feel free to say that I’m cocky, but I just knew. I would date them like this for years until finally realizing that actually I didn’t really want them around. Maybe I never had but having a constant presence somewhere that popped up when you required it was nice somehow. It made everything easier.” Hyungwon swallowed, he hadn’t even told Changkyun that, explaining his breakups as mutual lack of time due to work or finding other people they loved instead.

“I have never-” Hyungwon moved his arms through the water, watching the patterns it created and distracting himself. “Never invited anybody to stay over, and I never cuddled with anyone either. I’m practical and don't need useless affection, but fuck I’m not like that with you Hoseok.” 

Hyungwon wanted to laugh at how long he needed to come up with this. He acted like a crazy person, jumping everyone who wanted to hurt Hoseok and panicking when the other even hinted at seeing someone else, or going somewhere else, or not seeing him. Fuck. 

“I hate everybody who touches you and want to see them burn in hell. Shit, if no one would stop me I’d probably smuggle drugs into their houses just to have something to accuse them of. Just feeling like this for you is all nice and everything, but what the fuck do I do about that? How the hell do people deal with this? I can’t just fall in your arms and decide that everything is wonderful and we live happily ever after. That’s not how real life works. I don’t fucking know, Hoseok.” Hyungwon’s eyes were burning again, drops falling from his face and mixing with the water, looking like a big pink hole just sucking everything up and taking it to a place no one could ever reach. Hyungwon wished he could join his tears in the water and never reappear again.

“Are you telling me that you like me?” Hoseok just sat there staring at him with a strange smile on his face. “If that's the case then why are you crying Hyungwon?” 

He just continued sobbing, moving the back of his wet palm over his face. 

“Because I obviously don’t know what to do about it.” He was being selfish again and owed Hoseok an explanation. Turning to the other man, features soft and so strikingly beautiful he felt like he couldn’t breathe again. Brown eyes looked back at him and the same unreadable smile resting on Hoseok’s lips. Hyungwon’s stomach flipped and chest pulled together, a mixture of excitement and pain. 

“Shit, I love you Hoseok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay everyone, how do you feel about this? Can't wait to read in the comments!
> 
> A lot happened and the emotional development was building up steadily until it just boiled over.
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You love Hoseok, another man, and no matter what bullshit you pull out of your ass to explain it, it just won't fucking work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again dear readers!
> 
> After the emotional rollercoaster of last time it's time for some more, isn't it?

Hyungwon looked so beautiful when he slept. Strands of dark brown hair fell loosely over his forehead, lips so red and full, blush on his cheeks. His face looked relaxed and peaceful, not scared or tense. Hoseok felt like a creep, lying there and looking at the other man sleeping.    
  
He hadn’t gotten much rest himself after the absolutely crazy night, although it hadn't been what a classical crazy friday night should look like. Not him confessing his love naked, between the lawyer’s legs, accompanied by denying penetrative sex, but also not Hyungwon having a mental breakdown in his bathtub telling him he liked him.    
  
_ Telling you he loved you Hoseok. _ _   
_ __   
Right. The word love had fallen out of Hyungwon’s mouth and he had thought the other was speaking some language he couldn’t understand. His points made sense. He had spoken as if he knew what he was talking about. Like everything had been thought about a countless amount of times, analyzed and then put together in a reasonable argument that he himself was surprised at, before he just threw it in Hoseok’s face like a fucking wrecking ball. 

Hoseok had just stayed calm and tried to understand, although the sight of a naked Hyungwon pushing the red water back and forth, slowly and tentatively, like the fucking tease he was, had increased the difficulty of concentrating. Hyungwon had not been okay and that meant everything would change once he was okay again, which would probably be today after waking up. Hoseok had made a promise to act oblivious, which he intended to keep. He didn’t want Won to feel uncomfortable next to him. If that was even possible in their circumstances. 

It was already 11AM and his meeting with Hobi was in an hour, which forced him to disturb the examination of Hyungwon’s otherworldly sleeping face.   
  
He stood up and didn’t turn on the coffee machine for the first time in four years. Just because he didn't want to not wake up Hyungwon. Confronting coffee abstinence was a fitting description for the level of doom he had reached. Hoseok was giving up on coffee for a human. That wasn't normal, no matter how hard he thought about that.    


Quietly searching for something simple to wear, he grabbed the first thing that was on the shelf. Of course black, illegal pants and a red silk shirt. Amazing, why was karma like this? But what could he do? He had to put it on and act normal although he didn’t look normal, going out for a coffee with an old friend looking like a fucking celebrity.    
  
_ You are a celebrity Hoseok. _   
  
He left a small breakfast that consisted of scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and silently hoped that Hyungwon would just eat it without being the picky ass he was. There was dead fish after all, and Hyungwon loved dead fish. The producer decided to write a short note, so the other wouldn’t accuse him of prostitution and what not. Actually it was ridiculous considering Hoseok was the only one, who hadn't had an orgasm yesterday. He took a pen and a huge speaking bubble post-it.    
  
‘Good morning, I just wanted to tell you that you look like a fucking sleeping beauty! What sorcery is this? I look like a mashed potato when I sleep! Either way, I’m on my way to meet Hobi and I hope I’ll be home at 1-2PM depending on the topic he wants to talk to me about. I made you something to eat (It has dead fish in it!). Just write me when you wake up, so I know. I hope you slept well. You look really beautiful when you sleep. =) Hoseok.’   
  
This was so cheesy, even for him, but he couldn’t write a WhatsApp text, because Hyungwon would’ve woken up and writing a business-like note was a dick move. 

He took a last glimpse at the man lying cuddled in his huge blankets and went out.    
  
Arriving at the café, he spotted Hobi, who already ordered an americano and looked at something on his phone. Hoseok came from the other side and had plenty of time to observe the other man. The dancer looked like two years ago, nothing changed judging from the appearance. He still had raven black hair, wore supreme hoodies and loose pants that made his figure seem a little more buff than he actually was. 

The funny expression on his face, when he didn’t talk to people or was concentrated, the corners of his mouth weighting down like the korean letter ㅅ, was still there. Big headphones rested around his neck. Of course, he was always listening to music. That was what they had in common, also back then. Music and dance. 

Hobi spotted him and a smile appeared, brightening his face.   
  
“Well if that’s not Hoseok who was too scared to let me in his studio. Are you still not letting people in?” He grinned shamelessly and Hoseok already guessed that he must’ve heard Hyungwon’s voice during the phonecall.   
  
“Well not really, but I’m here so we can talk. I just hope you won’t talk to me about stuff you told me on the phone last time. What the actuall fuck Hobi?” He sat down and ordered a cappuccino and a double espresso at the same time, earning a surprised grin from Hobi.    
  
“Didn’t you get coffee? It’s twelve,” he laughed. “I just scared you so you would get uncomfortable enough to meet up, sorry.” The sunshine smile struck back and Hoseok couldn’t help but return it with his own.   
  
“I suffered greatly,” Hoseok admitted. “And I knew you didn’t mean it, shit.” He had been really scared after the phonecall. 

“But I meant it.” The other man just kept his facial expression of a smiling sunshine, confusing the shit out of Hoseok. 

_ Okay, now you're uncomfortable. _

There was something in Hobi’s gaze that reminded him of their time spent together. The way he looked at him, with this smile of his that could’ve been angel and devil at the same time.    
  
“Just tell me Hobi. I’m really bad at those guessing games you like to play so much.” He decided to be honest and get it over with as fast as possible. 

The other man was still smiling brightly.    
  
“Well there are actually two things that fit together quite well in my opinion. First, I don’t know if you remember, but the guide you made for ‘1Verse’? It will come out as a new song, so I contacted Namjoon and already signed all the papers that will enable us to overwork it as a remix. You and me. Second, I meant everything I told you on the phone. I liked you back then and I like you now. Working together will be a lot of fun considering our mutual affection, don’t you think?” Hobi sipped on his americano and talked about all those things, as if he was announcing random news that didn’t concern him.    
  
Hoseok just sat there with his mouth opened. He had no idea how to react to stuff like that. What mutual affection? What overworking songs together? Why did Namjoon sign stuff without telling him? 

_ Probably because he knew Hobi well and he knew that you worked together before.  _

_ Fuck.  _   
  
“Listen, I have no fucking idea what you are talking about. Our mutual affection was never a mutual one in the first place. It was me who liked you and now two years passed and I changed. However, concerning the track, I can work on it alone if you tell me what you want changed. We don’t necessarily need to hang out with each other since it would be pretty awkward for both of us.” That was a clear statement Hoseok was proud of and everything was settled from his perspective.    
  
“Mhm I see. Unfortunately I don't want you to work on it alone. Also, don’t shit yourself Hoseok. You knew exactly that I liked you. You were the one that didn’t tell me that you'll leave and didn't even ask why I didn’t call. You just acted as if it never happened. What the hell?” Oh now Hobi was mad, his eyes narrowed, the smile disappearing somewhere behind his dimples. 

“You acting as if you never thought about it shows that you never cared about me in the first place. But I’m here now and you won’t be a coward and deal with me, because you can’t run away from this.” The other man took his americano and leaned forward until there were only a couple of centimeters between them. “I’m really looking forward to ‘work’ with you Hoseok. This is going to be lit.” 

Hobi held his index finger to his lips and kissed it, grinning shamelessly. The producer didn’t understand the point of it until Hobi rose and put the same finger on Hoseok’s lips, before standing up and leaving.    
  
_ What is this? He didn’t just do that. What's this drama?  _

_ Fuck.  _   
  
Hoseok kept sitting in the same spot for about ten minutes. Thoughts were rushing through his head, facts that he had to deal with from now on. Fact was that he needed to work with Hobi on a song and he couldn’t get away from that. 

A much worse fact was Hobi actually saying he liked him. 

What was it with all those straight guys showing their affection towards him in a matter of hours? 

Hoseok wanted to facepalm so hard that his perception of reality changed. But it probably wouldn't. 

The third fact was the one that scared him the most. Telling Hyungwon he had to meet Hobi, who apparently liked him, regularly, starting soon. He couldn’t lie, not after what happened yesterday.    
  
No calls and no messages on the display of his phone meant Hyungwon was still asleep, or he fucked off without telling him. Hoseok walked towards his apartment building like someone who had committed a crime, although he just drank coffee with someone who was supposed to be a good friend. Elevator ride, pushing the right floor, entering passcode, his thoughts were circling around the situation he was in, eating up all his resources, too spaced out to see Hyungwon standing in his hallway and staring at him.

The lawyer was wearing something that suspiciously resembled Hoseok’s clothes, loose pants and a shirt that looked huge on him. He appeared to have just woken up, hair sticking out at random places and eyes a little puffy. 

“That note was cheesy as fuck,” was the first thing he said, watching Hoseok attentively and voice straight from the graveyard.   
  
“I know. I wanted to keep it short but it escalated.” Hoseok took off his shoes absentmindedly and walked towards the coffee machine.

“You look out of it,” Hyungwon commented and followed him to the kitchen, climbing up on the counter as he had in his own apartment and watching Hoseok work. “Make me one too, peasant,” he ordered with a grin.   
  
“Sure.” Hoseok took another cup and pressed the button without removing his gaze from the machine. 

Hyungwon swung his long legs back and forth and hummed a melody, watching Hoseok stand there, doing nothing until his patience apparently winded up at a very sudden closure. 

“Okay, enough awkward staring. What the fuck did that piece of shit tell you?” he sputtered and crossed his arms on his chest, looking apprehensive and pissed as fuck.   
  
Hoseok turned around, his eyes involuntarily becoming huge. He hated himself for showing those kind of reactions constantly. Why not tattoo everything on his forehead in real time if he was always that obvious? 

“It’s complicated as fuck. I just hoped that it would be over but it’s not,” Hoseok breathed out. Hyungwon’s eyes narrowed and he slid down the counter, walking a few steps towards Hoseok before he pointed at his chest with his index finger, ramming it into the skin and looking intimidating, standing in front of Hoseok with his full height. 

“What the fuck does that mean?”   
  
“That means, that he signed papers with my lawyer behind my back, to work on a remix together. One where we would need to meet regularly. That also means he told me he still likes me and finger-kissed me.” 

_ What the fuck is finger kissing? That’s not even a thing.  _

Hoseok wanted to facepalm. 

Hyungwon’s tense expression relaxed and he laughed out loud. 

“He finger kissed you?” he asked and lifted his finger from Hoseok’s chest to kiss it and push it to Hoseok’s lips. “Like this?”

_ Oh so apparently it was a thing.  _

“Yes.” 

Hyungwon laughed again, placing his hands on Hoseok’s shoulders and leaning down the few necessary centimeters to kiss him, quick but effective. 

“There, now it’s gone. However what do we do about you having to see him again?”   
  
“Basically nothing, Namjoon knows him from a long time ago and he knows that we worked together, so he assumed it was absolutely okay and signed everything. There is no way I can get out of this. I even tried to talk to Hobi, but...yeah. He just intimidated the shit out of me instead with his gaze, leaning in and everything.” Actually Hoseok would have smirked at him and let him run around, to show that he had no chance, but he absolutely didn’t want Hyungwon to suffer any kind of uncomfortable consequences from this. 

The lawyer seemed in thought, fingers playing with his lower lip, squishing it between his index finger and thumb. Relaxing again he turned to Hoseok, expression dead serious. 

“I could sue him for sexual harassment, but a finger-kiss is a little. You know…” The lawyer grinned at the implications. “He’d have to do more than that for it to go through.”   
  
Hoseok cracked up. The way Hyungwon stood there in his clothes, hair a mess and pouty lips talking about suing people was hilarious. The lawyer watched him laugh until his expression switched and he licked his lips, eyes narrowing. Hoseok had encountered the expression before but both of them had been naked then. 

“This might be a little out of place,” Hyungwon started, moving a hand through his hair, smoothing it. “But you look like fucking sin and I kinda want to jump you right now. Red and black is fucking illegal on your white skin.”   
  
“Can you though? I might sue you.” Hoseok chuckled. Hyungwon laughed lightly at that, grinning shamelessly. 

“But your lawyer only handles the copyright cases and otherwise I’m pretty sure I could beat whomever you try to set on my ass.” The grin just spread wider with every word that left the lawyer’s mouth.   
  
“Shit you’re right. Then please jump me your majesty. I missed you those two hours I was gone.” Hoseok licked his lips and took a small sip of his coffee. Hyungwon carefully took the cup from his hands, placing it on the counter instead. 

“We wouldn’t want to break anything, would we?” he asked with a promising smile, turning back to Hoseok and using his fingers to yank the red shirt out of the producer’s pants, revealing his toned stomach. Hyungwon’s hands were cold as they moved up the skin, pinching Hoseok’s right nipple and pulling the shirt over his head.    
  
Hoseok felt every single thought disappear, replaced by Hyungwon’s scent and taste, the feel of his skin, the haptic of his muscles under Hoseok’s fingers. 

“Shit I’m fucking freezing and you’re always so warm,” the lawyer breathed into his mouth, licking over his teeth and sucking his tongue into his mouth, eager for everything Hoseok was willing to give him. And Hoseok was willing to give every fucking thing. 

“I’m warm for you. Come here,” he replied and pulled their bodies closer. He felt like burning and Hyungwon’s skin provided a cool-down, which felt absolutely amazing. 

“Ravish me,” Hyungwon said with a smile on his face before littering Hoseok’s neck with little kisses, nibbling on his earlobe and biting his earring.   
  
“How does your majesty want to be ravished today?” he moaned into Hyungwon’s neck, saying the last goodbyes to his friends self-control, logical reasoning and inhibition, fucking off as soon as Chae Hyungwon was anywhere closer than appropriate human interaction distance. 

The lawyer smiled against his skin at the comment, thrusting his lower body into Hoseok’s, making both of them gasp. 

“How about you give me about five minutes to take care of something and then you finger me until I can’t feel my legs anymore?”    
  
“Fuck, you can take care of it in five hours and I’ll just wait here living off the image you just planted inside my head.” Hoseok couldn't breathe properly at the words Hyungwon just spat at him. Giving Hoseok’s erection a quick squeeze the other man placed a kiss on his lips and disappeared out of the kitchen, walking towards the bathroom and closing the door.    
  
Hoseok was so happy he possessed the ability to walk like a decent human being instead of crawling over the expensive wooden floor, although he damn sure felt like doing the second. Arriving at the bedroom he threw the lube on the bed and threw himself after it. 

_ Hyungwon is basically the incarnation of  your libido.  _

Not long after he heard the door of the bathroom open and Hyungwon walked over to him, stark naked and throwing the sweatpants he had been wearing to the ground. 

“Didn’t you say you’d wait in the kitchen?” he asked with a grin although he hadn’t even checked there. 

“I said something? I don’t fucking remember anything besides the stuff that came out of your mouth and won’t leave me breathe in peace.” Hoseok looked at Hyungwon as if he was some kind of god-like creature, because that’s exactly how he looked like to him. 

Crawling over the bed towards Hoseok and oblivious to the effect he had on him, the lawyer sat down and held his palms upright. 

“So, what should I do?”   
  
“Let’s rather start with the question ‘what do you want to do?’. Or do you want me to order you around?” Hoseok pulled a nasty smirk and slid his fingers from the chest down to his crotch. Hyungwon almost moaned at the question instead of the fingers. 

“Shit, I love it when you order me around and I already told you what I want to do.” 

_ What? _

_Well ordering around in that case._   
  
“Show me what you can do to yourself with those beautiful long fingers of yours. I’m already dying since yesterday so I can die a little more today too.” Hoseok was a masochist and he had no regrets. 

Hyungwon’s eyes widened. 

“Holy fuck,” the lawyer whispered and spread his legs, sitting directly in front of Hoseok almost immediately. He stretched out his hand without a comment. Hoseok pulled the lube out from behind his back like in a fucking porn movie, but it was actually lying behind him so he had to, placing it in the stretched out hand. 

“Do you mind if I touch myself while I watch?” he asked playfully. 

Hyungwon, who had snickered at the way Hoseok grabbed the lube stopped immediately and shook his head. 

“Fuck, please.”

The lawyer took the lube and put some of the transparent liquid on his fingers, warming it up a little by rubbing his index-, middle finger and thumb together. The movements alone were already too much to watch. 

“Here we go,” he breathed out visibly relaxing his body and closing his eyes, fingers moving between his legs, rubbing at his entrance, while his other hand closed around his erection.  
  
“You know, I could look at you forever, sitting there spread legged like this, playing around. I could also just die and I would regret nothing, Fuck.” Hoseok was not okay, his fingers were tingling to be the ones to touch the other man.   


Hyungwon smiled at the comment, eyes still closed. 

“I’m pretty sure you’d regret that you’re not my fingers, Hoseok,” he whispered before entering with his middle finger and gasping. Adjusting the angle, eyes still closed, he moaned loudly as soon as his finger found what it was looking for and built up a rhythm. The lawyer didn’t look like someone who did it for the third time. Hoseok almost fainted from the sight alone.

“If you take all those times I told you I wouldn’t fuck you and multiply it by the highest prime number you know, you’d get the number of times I sincerely wanted to fuck you,” Hoseok whispered, mesmerized by the sight, hand easily finding his erection in the too tight pants. 

Hyungwon opened his eyes at the comment, widening at the sight of Hoseok touching himself and obviously moaning at more than the finger moving inside him. He paused the motion of his hand to answer with something coherent, desperately concentrating on talking.

“Too bad I learned prime numbers as a distraction back in middle school. Makes it sound so much more desperate,” he breathed, continuing by breaching himself with the index finger as well, groaning heavily, legs shivering and dick twitching at the intrusion.  
  
“Desperate? Bingo.” Hoseok smirked. 

It was the truth and he wasn’t ashamed at all. 

“Fuck, how long do you want me to do this?” Hyungwon asked after what felt like seconds but had to be longer, eyes squeezed shut again and almost suffocating.    
  
“Why, you don’t like doing it?” he asked sounding as naive as possible. Hyungwon opened one eye, still sliding both fingers in and out of himself, lips parted. “I don’t know how much you have already found out about my body Hoseok, but I can come from just doing this and I’m getting pretty close.”    
  
“Try adding another one.” Hoseok couldn’t control his dominant voice again, making it sound like an order, instead of a suggestion. Hyungwon immediately paused the movement of his hand, eyes wide and staring at Hoseok. Slowly his fingers left his body and he grabbed the lube, squeezing some more of it on his fingers, also including his ring finger this time. 

“I haven’t really done that yet,” he mumbled, a little insecure.    
  
“Did you see my dick Hyungwon?” Hoseok’s eyes caught Hyungwon’s shy gaze. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” Hoseok wanted to show him what he had wanted by coming as close to it as possible. Hoping for the other to reconsider.

_ Or the opposite. _ _   
_

Instead of hesitating the lawyer spread his legs some more, giving himself increased space to move his hand. Entering the two digits from before he hissed and threw his head back, moving them in and out a few times before catching himself and attempting to add the third, inhaling sharply and eyes shut. Sweat beads were visible on his forehead and chest, lips parted and swollen. 

Hyungwon looked like personified sin, messing with his brain, his ability to think, to react properly, every executive function out of order.

As soon as the beautiful man settled the third finger further than the knuckle he paused, breathing in and out in a rhythmic fashion before he changed the angle and almost screamed.    
  
“Holy fuck,” Hyungwon chanted repeatedly, moving the fingers in and out carefully, not seeing the effect he had on Hoseok, who sat up on the bed and stared, eyes huge, mouth slightly open. 

“Fuck. I want you so badly I’m going nuts,” Hoseok whispered not really able to move or speak.

Hyungwon opened his eyes and stared back at Hoseok, looking a little delirious. 

“Is this enough?” he asked, voice hoarse from screaming curses and variations of Hoseok’s name. 

“It’s enough to undermine every resolution. Yes.” Hoseok crawled to Hyungwon taking the lube bottle and coating his fingers. “And now let me feel you properly.”    
  
The lawyer moaned in relief and almost immediately straddled his lap, not waiting for him to cover his hands sufficiently. 

“You’re so fucking hot I feel like I’m burning alive only from watching.” Hoseok made sure that two fingers were coated and dipped one in first, slowly dying from the feeling he himself felt spreading in his lower stomach. 

Hyungwon moaned at the intrusion, hugging Hoseok’s shoulders and licked his earlobe. 

“Then show me how you burn from touching,” he whispered. Hoseok slid in another finger and adjusted the angle immediately, feeling Hyungwon’s body tremble over his lap. 

“Fuck, Hoseok,” the other man gasped, nails bruising his shoulders from the effort the lawyer needed to keep himself in place. “You’re killing me.”    
  
“No Won, you’re killing me. It feels so good to be inside of you.” His free hand curled around the erection that was poking against his stomach, stroking it slowly then faster, depending on the moans that escaped Hyungwon’s mouth. Fingers disappearing inside of the lawyer, sweating and moaning, Hoseok had major trouble to keep himself under control. 

“Give me another one Hoseok and stop touching my dick. I want to come untouched,” Hyungwon barely brought over his lips, gasping and panting his name non stop.    
  
Hoseok was functioning on autopilot. His free hand found the lube, squeezed it and coated three fingers, one of them immediately sliding back in, the second following with one sleek movement. He stroked Hyungwon’s back with his free hand, while he added the third finger slowly, almost not moving at all, looking at the lawyer’s facial expressions, observing the body movements. 

He didn’t want to hurt Hyungwon. It was like a law. He always managed to have enough self control left to make sure he didn’t.   
  
The other relaxed visibly, eyes closed in bliss and lower lip caught between his teeth, focusing on the feeling that Hoseok provided him with. As soon as he was sure that Hyungwon could handle movement he slid the fingers in and brushed against his prostate, motion calculated carefully. Hyungwon screamed so loud that the sound echoed in Hoseok’s bedroom, reflecting off the walls and narrowing down on his patience.

Hoseok increased the speed, sliding in and out with a steady rhythm, making sure to hit each time fingers passed the tight ring of muscles.   
  
_He would feel so fucking amazing on your dick._   


The lawyer was falling apart on his lap, gasping and unconsciously scratching his pale skin, nails leaving fine red lines along his arms and chest. The way he screamed Hoseok’s name must have been audible to the whole neighbourhood, desperately begging him not to stop, hips rising up to meet the thrusts of his fingers. The producer couldn’t care less, he would’ve opened the window if Hyungwon told him to.    
  
“I’m close,” the lawyer whispered eventually, voice barely recognizable and legs trembling. Only a few more thrusts were necessary until he could see muscles in Hyungwon’s whole lower body contracting until the other man screamed his name and collapsed against Hoseok like dead weight, unable to keep himself up after orgasming.

He was overwhelmed. This was so intense that he had to calm his thoughts again, repeating in his clouded brain that fucking Hyungwon was not what he was supposed to do and not an option. 

“Shit, this is intense,” Hyungwon gasped, calming down and holding onto Hoseok like it was his last connection to the real world, nails still sinking into his skin. 

“You're intense. I almost came myself just from moving my fingers,” Hoseok groaned in a pathetic attempt to regain self control. Hyungwon tried to scramble up, probably to not burden Hoseok with his weight and threw himself to the side, lying next to him. 

“Fuck I want you,” the lawyer hissed. 

“You had me Won. You just came.” Hoseok cleaned his stomach with a wet tissue from his drawer and closed his eyes, breathing in and out like a calming charm. 

“I want you in general Hoseok. Independent of my state. I want to do everything you want, fuck.”

“You're already doing everything I want and ever wanted. I feel like suffocating on how you're able to drive me crazy. A little more with every passing second.” Hoseok just lay there, eyes closed, chest moving up and down. Hyungwon frowned a little, but began covering Hoseok’s body with brief kisses. 

“You always say that whenever I want to do something for you,” he spoke against the warm skin and licked an especially sensitive area, smiling at the reaction he got.

“Why are you like this? I'll die,“ Hoseok whined. 

Hyungwon just grinned against his skin, nibbling downward towards his erection and licked over it, sucking on the tip only before letting go, watching it hit Hoseok’s stomach. 

“Wanna fuck my mouth?” he inquired casually.

“I want to fuck you.” Hoseok groaned, not able to reconsider his words.    
  
_ Shit, turn on your fucking brain, you idiot _ .   
  
“I meant sure.”    
  
As expected the lawyer narrowed his eyes and looked up, staring at Hoseok as if he wanted him to explain himself before he had to ask. 

“I'm sorry my mind went blank, and you said fuck...sorry.” 

Hyungwon nodded and took a deep breath, gaze transforming into something more suggestive.    


“If you wanted to fuck me you shouldn’t have let me come before doing so and now be a good boy and fuck my mouth.” Smiling, Hyungwon crawled over to the headboard and lay down, getting comfortable and placing his head such that it was level with Hoseok’s dick when he knelt on the bed.

“Come here. The height should be fine.”

It was fine. Everything was fine, besides Hoseok himself, who wasn’t. 

“You’re sin,” he exclaimed moving his body such that he could line up with Hyungwon’s mouth, straddling his waist. 

“And you're fucking huge,” the lawyer commented staring at Hoseok’s erection right in front of his face. Well finally he realized that it was a bad idea to ask Hoseok to fuck him.    
  
“I’m glad you reconsidered.” He smiled and cupped the lawyer’s jaw with his right hand, lifting his head to gain a proper look at the beautiful face beneath him. 

“I haven’t.” Hyungwon's eyes stared right back, so amazingly big on such a small face. “I'm just realizing that my anatomical concerns were justified, however you solved them with proper evidence.“ He grinned.

Hyungwon just scienced him, and it was his own fault.    
  
“You’re crazy. And now be nice and open your mouth.”

Hyungwon's eyes turned nasty, teeth biting down on his lower lip before licking over it once. 

“I will, if you ask nicely.” 

_ Fuck. He is trying to test you. _

Well now he wanted Hoseok to beg? What kind of alternate universe was this, that Chae Hyungwon begged to be fucked by him and then asked Hoseok to beg?   
  
“But I thought you like being ordered around by me. I mean, I told you pretty clearly what you have to do now, didn’t I?” Hoseok was a nice soul, he knew that he was soft, but the competition for dominance was a different game. 

The lawyer sucked his lower lip into his mouth almost immediately, suppressing a hiss and pupils widening. The effect Hoseok’s behaviour had on him was as clear as day. Without saying anything in reply he opened his mouth while watching Hoseok’s eyes.    
  
“Good boy. I love it when you listen so well.” He stroked Hyungwon’s cheek and slid inside the warm mouth, moaning at the feeling of hot and wet at the same time. Moving slowly in and out, observing the expressions on Hyungwon’s face, Hoseok felt like bursting already, strained from all the tension of the past 24 hours. 

The lawyer's gaze didn't leave his face, throat relaxed and lips tight. He was obviously affected by the sight himself, a beautiful rosy colour on his cheeks and eyes glassy.    
  
Gentle movements accompanied by low moans filled the acoustic space. Everything burned into his memory, the sight under him unforgettable. He didn’t want to think about anything, but something deep inside didn’t let him. It was still there. 

Hyungwon was still there, even when Hoseok didn’t want to think about anything.    
  
Long fingers caressed his thighs, sensations overwhelming. He managed to whisper that he was close, so Hyungwon could back off. The lawyer didn't and just added his own efforts to the way Hoseok moved in and out of his mouth, sucking and licking what he could reach. Hands grabbed his thighs harder, fitting to the tension in his abdomen. He did the only thing he was still able to do and came with a loud moan of Hyungwon’s name, propping himself against the headrest, body tensing, moving through the waves of his orgasm. 

Hyungwon placed his palms on Hoseok’s hips and pushed him back, breathing in deeply. “Shit, you're so fucking hot like that. Never thought I'd like being called a good boy,” he forced out, voice barely recognisable but with a grin.    
  
Hoseok was still trying to regain consciousness after Hyungwon had licked and sucked his soul out. Brain cells started sending impulses to come up with something that was recognizable as human language.    
  
“It’s because you are so good to me. Of course I want to praise you for that.” He still breathed like a marathon runner. “And I’m sorry, my mind goes blank when you try to play those dom-games with me.” 

The lawyer just continued watching his struggle to regain his senses. 

“How can such a soft person just go bam in bed and turn so fucking dominant. You're the first person I'm genuinely intimidated by.” 

Hoseok let himself fall next to Hyungwon but not without giving him a deep kiss, as if it was some kind of routine they had. The lawyer smiled into the kiss, responding with enthusiasm, licking inside his mouth before separating.   
  
“You know when I met you for the first time, there was a huge aftermath you don’t know anything about. You started playing those games back then and I jumped on the train and couldn’t stop, and now I’m here. I should work on my personality.” Hoseok laughed, curling his arms around Hyungwon’s body. 

“What?” The lawyer was genuinely surprised, sitting up a little against the headboard. “You're the one who just threw sexual innuendos at me for no reason. I didn't do anything except for making sure you don't grow over your own cockiness and know your fucking place.” The corners of his mouth spread a little, opening his lips and looking thoroughly not-amused.  
  
Hoseok tried hard not to laugh, remembering the exact same expression Hyungwon had when they bickered on their first meeting. 

“You were making fun of my dick and I wanted to shove it in your mouth, so you’d know your place. It escalated because I was so attracted to you at the same time. I didn’t want to see you, wanted to get distraction in form of something else that released my sexual tension, but in the end it was only you I wanted, until I realized I was doomed and here I am.” Hoseok grinned.   
  
“Still doomed. Fuck my life,” he added. 

The lawyer just laughed, slipping off the bed and grabbing his white silk shirt that he had worn the day before with his suit. 

“So basically you turned into a fuck boy because of me and have a very unhealthy tendency to solve your conflicts sexually.” 

He threw the white fabric over his shoulders, not buttoning it up before turning to Hoseok and throwing a suggestive grin at him. The other was obviously hinting at Hoseok having confessed that his main masturbation source was Hyungwon in a white silk shirt.    


Hoseok was prepared for the lawyer using all his weaknesses against him, but he wasn't ready to give him the satisfaction of noticing.

“You better not solve your conflicts this way when you have to meet Jung Hoseok regularly. It still makes me furious to be honest, although I'm joking about it.“   
  
_ Right. Hobi.  _

But in the end it was something he had to go through and it had nothing to do with Hyungwon, so he could rest assured.   


“Hobi likes me, but that’s what Hobi thinks. I mean I’ll make the song with him, but I honestly don’t think he will come onto me or something. Did you see my body?” Hoseok flexed his biceps and smirked in Hyungwon’s direction. 

The lawyer just groaned in desperation and slammed the bedroom door in his face, leaving the room. 

Hoseok was still lying in his bed, not able to stand up after all that happened. He didn't have time to think about all those things that rained down on him in a matter of hours.

Hyungwon asking him to have sex, confessing his love an hour after that, while crying in a bathtub. His previous crush telling him he liked him, forcing him legally to spend time with him. It all sounded like a plot of a really bad sitcom. 

He needed to call Namjoon, although something deep inside told him it didn't matter. He wouldn't get rid of the whole situation just by taking measures. He knew Jung Hoseok and that was not the way to deal with him. The dancer would just come up with something else making it even harder to act. Hoseok needed to show Hobi that he wasn't involved anymore and be sorry to him for apparently acting like an asshole. 

Why was Hyungwon behaving so strangely though? It all started with the stupid argument that Hobi had something he didn't. There was no fucking way Hoseok would jump that train. The mere thought alone screamed regret. 

He felt the bitterness crawling up his throat and blurring his vision. Hyungwon just didn't want to have less than Hobi, as if Hoseok was some kind of trophy. What the actual fuck?

_ He just likes spending time together and enjoys new sensations coming from your encounters, and you'll be left the dumb one in the end. Don’t lie to yourself. _

Hoseok breathed in and out to stop the suffocating feeling spreading in his chest. 

_ You almost fucked him today. Turn on your fucking brain. You shouldn't do it and you won't do it.  _

No way. 

  
  


***

 

When Hyungwon stepped onto the sidewalk, leaving the warmth of Hoseok’s apartment building and breathing in the autumn air, he still couldn't believe that he had stayed over at someone else's place, without being forced to. 

His car was still in front of Hoseok’s studio and he himself had the luxury of being able to walk home within five minutes. It was so casual but also new that he hadn't decided whether he was genuinely okay with it yet. 

He wasn't okay with wearing the same suit he wore yesterday, but that could be changed quickly. 

Hoseok and him had had some pretty indepth conversations last night, partially today morning and all of it was quite a lot to take in. There was no way that Hyungwon could scream at him that he loved him, just like he had done before, desperate in the other man's bathtub. That just wasn't the regular way to deal with such revelations, but when have the two of them ever been regular? 

The neighbourhood was quiet for a Saturday afternoon, late enough for families to return from trips and early enough for singles to not have chosen a restaurant for dinner yet. Hyungwon couldn't help regretting that the two of them hadn't eaten together before he left. It would have been nice as a finish, calm atmosphere and all. He had survived Hoseok’s breakfast so he could most likely survive his dinner. The sushi the producer had crafted for him once was otherworldly.

_ Just like Hoseok himself.  _

Hyungwon sighed, thinking about how Hoseok was filling out and consuming everything of him. Every thought, every breath, every second he wanted to spend with the other man and he had always hated company.    
  
Really.    


Hyungwon hadn't been able to mention his feelings again although he should have. A confession after Hoseok had told him he'd only sleep with him after a confession hadn't been his smartest move. He hadn't even planned on confessing! It just came by itself, thought taking form in his brain and not letting him go until it bled through his eyes and spilled through his mouth.

_ And Hoseok hadn't believed a word of it.  _

Actually that was the worst consequence. No matter whether Hyungwon actually felt this way and had no fucking clue how to deal with it, Hoseok was going to believe he did it to get into the other man’s pants (which he also did but that wasn't the fucking point!). 

Being in love with another man was out of his comfort zone. Had he spoken without awareness he would have blurted that it's _ not normal _ , although he cognitively knew that it was and that it happened and his friend Minhyuk was like that and it was perfectly fine, but…

_ But you're not gay Hyungwon. Just being sexually interested in someone doesn't mean that you have feelings for them, so of course you were able to deal with it before.  _

_ Now your excuse is dead for fuck’s sake.  _

_ You love Hoseok, another man, and no matter what bullshit you pull out of your ass to explain it, it just won't fucking work.  _

Hyungwon felt the undying need to cry in a bathtub again, but he controlled himself, placing one foot in front of the next and seeing the entrance to his apartment building materializing before him. He should have stayed with Hoseok to avoid thinking and thereby upsetting himself even more than he already had. 

Shit.

If being in love with a man wasn't enough there were those intense feelings of jealousy he couldn't prevent. Hobi popping out of nowhere, obviously wanting Hoseok, drove the lawyer absolutely mad. He had never wished to see someone suffer as much as the shorter dancer, whom he had considered a friend before. Hobi and him had been genuinely close, enough for the other to cry on Hyungwon's shoulder when a girl he had been interested in hurt him behind his back. 

Hyungwon smiled at the memory, thinking of how the two of them had been disgustingly sweaty everyday and he had detested it, but still went through with it because dancing was worth it.    


_ Stop it, Hyungwon. You love your job, so go home and occupy yourself with it instead of love, jealousy and pointless nostalgia.  _

Waving at the security guard who raised an eyebrow, Hyungwon walked over to the elevator, pressing his floor and leaning back. The reaction of the security guard had been rather strange, considering he usually didn't show much of anything. 

_ You're wearing the exact same thing you left in yesterday Hyungwon and you didn't come back last night. Of course he's surprised. You've never done that before. He probably thought you’re dead or something. _

Stepping in front of his door with a sigh at his own uncharacteristic behaviour he lifted the key pad lid and had just begun to type in his code when Minhyuk’s apartment door opened with a loud bang, hitting the wall on the left side and revealing the occupant, grinning intimidatingly.

_ Fuck.  _

“Well, hello there Hyungwon my dear friend. Long time no see, don't you think?”

Hyungwon swallowed and forced himself to seem nonchalant and relaxed. “I see you often enough Minhyuk. Once a week is absolutely sufficient.”

His neighbour giggled, smile widening and fingers drumming a pattern on the door frame. ”Is that so?” he sing-songed while walking over to Hyungwon.

It was stupid. It really was but Hyungwon just typed in his code, ripped open the door and slammed it shut after disappearing behind it like a scared animal. 

Fuck, he had never reacted so impulsively (except when he had pushed Hoseok into the wall at the skyline bar). Now Minhyuk was definitely going to confront him the next time they saw each other.

“Why haven’t you been home?” Minhyuk’s voice sounded through the closed door, curiosity obvious but hints of worry blending into the words.

Hyungwon took a deep breath and decided to be at least mildly civil and answer something that sounded remotely truthful. 

“I was busy, lots of work.”

Walking deeper into the apartment he felt safe, taking off his shoes and switching his suit to something more comfortable and more representative of a typical saturday afternoon. Throwing himself on the livingroom couch with a thick blanket and some ice cream he felt relieved and able to forget all his problems. 

At least for now.

His spoon was just about to dig into the savoury strawberry-flavoured texture when a familiar melody played and his front door opened, easily, as if he had never had a key code in the first place.

_ What the actual fuck? _

Without delay Minhyuk’s sneaky face appeared in the door frame, dressed more formal than Hyungwon for once in his life and easily walking over to the couch, situating himself next to the lawyer. 

“I am assuming that now you’re able to talk to me? Ice cream and hobo clothes in place and all?”

Hyungwon wanted to die. If there was something portraying that he wasn’t okay it was him sitting on his fucking couch and eating ice cream. 

Fuck. 

Instead of elaborating on his misery he asked the much more obvious questions. 

“How the fuck did you get in here Minhyuk?”

“Where the fuck were you last night?” the silver haired man asked back, grin in place and arms crossed on his chest. He wasn’t going to let this go, was he?

“At Changkyun’s.”

Hyungwon cringed at his own lie. Fuck. This would have been so easy to test, just a short and simply phone call could ride him into the ground, but here he was, lying thoughtlessly instead of his usually very delicate net of deceptions. He was getting out of touch with his skills.

“Funny,” Minhyuk commented. “Cause that’s where I was. After he asked me whether you’re home that is.”

Fuck. Shit. Why was Hyungwon so stupid? Of course he had been there and talked to Changkyun before. How else would the other have known that Hyungwon hadn’t been home? Excuses were running out and there was honestly no justified reason for him to stay out, especially not willingly. 

“I see and why do you know my pass code?” Hyungwon asked instead, hoping it would distract his friend and give him time to develop an elaborate excuse. 

Minhyuk grinned even more as if he was proud of himself for figuring it out. 

“I had a lot of time waiting for you yesterday,” he answered and wiggled his eyebrows.

The wish to facepalm was very strong, but Hyungwon kept himself in check. He had to look in control and as if he just had a very normal and completely non-overcompensatory craving for ice cream. 

“I got piss drunk at a friend’s place and didn’t manage to go home.”   
  
“Yeah next thing you’ll tell me is that you got fucked by a man in an alley.” Minhyuk giggled again but immediately stopped at the look in Hyungwon’s eyes. “Dude it was a joke.”

The lawyer finally gave up, digging the spoon into the ice cream and licking it off. He needed this shit, especially if his gay friend was going to interrogate him about his currently very gay feelings for another man. Oblivious to his struggles Minhyuk groaned in dismay, throwing his hands up and stretching his legs over the couch.

“I’ll be honest with you Hyungwon,” he started.    
  
Lee Minhyuk and serious talks was not a fucking thing so shit was about to go down and Hyungwon wanted to suffocate in strawberry ice cream before it happened. He stuffed another huge portion into his mouth. 

“I talked to Changkyun and he said that Shin Hoseok and you have this ‘gay but not gay’ thing going on. What the actual fuck is that all about?”

_ Fucking hell, you’re doomed Hyungwon. There is nothing you can do except for talking to him. Who else would you talk to?  _

_ Minhyuk might actually help you out, unlike Changkyun who is still convinced you are an indecisive piece of shit. _

Just that he was an indecisive piece of shit. Groaning with his spoon still in his mouth the lawyer buried his head in the pillows and mulled over the best way to explain his sorrows.

“It’s complicated,” he answered instead and Minhyuk’s face softened, warm hand resting on Hyungwon's back. The silver haired pulled out his phone and unlocked it, holding it in the lawyer’s face for no reason.

“Check out what my display picture was for the last two months,” he mentioned completely out of context and pushed the phone so close that Hyungwon couldn’t have seen it even if he had looked. Raising his head the lawyer mustered the picture, just to recognize very familiar blonde hair, tight jeans and an especially sneaky hand pulled inside a hole in those jeans.

“Fuck my life.”

“Yeah right? He’s hot as fuck. Still can’t believe he’s real.” Minhyuk fawned over Hoseok like a fangirl. Hyungwon just took another spoonful of ice cream and remembered that the hot person on that picture had been three fingers deep inside his ass just an hour ago. Holy fucking shit.

“Same,” he muttered absentmindedly, genuinely not believing that Hoseok was real and that he loved someone like Hyungwon for no reason whatsoever except for his sassy personality and a pretty face. On top of all that the lawyer had managed to fuck his own preferences and just started liking him back like in a shitty rom com. 

Just that things were easy in rom coms and they weren’t in real life.    
  
Hyungwon had a fucking life to live and no time for being gay. He didn’t even know how to be gay in daily life. How did gay people date? He didn’t want to date. 

Fuck.

Head spinning from the speed and emotional valence of his thoughts Hyungwon didn’t realize that Minhyuk was still sitting on his couch and had spent the last three minutes staring at him with a soft smile.

“What?” the lawyer asked as soon as he realized the unusual silence and strange expression on the other man’s face.

Instead of answering his friend slid himself closer and circled his arms around his shoulders, meeting no resistance and resting his head against Hyungwon’s arm. 

“You just said ‘same’ Hyungwon,” he whispered and looked a little out of it. “You’re not okay, are you?”

Typical Minhyuk, making Hyungwon worry about his sanity when he should have been concerned with his own. 

“Are you upset because I won’t let you jump Hoseok? He has enough men jumping him already,” he asked, anger returning full force at the memory of Jung Hoseok wanting to get Hoseok to return to him. Why did all of this have to happen now that Hyungwon actually cared and didn’t want it to happen? A month ago he might have been fine and would have even welcomed to get Hoseok off his back. But here he was, angry and hurt about not being able to keep the producer for himself.

Minhyuk’s arms got tighter around him, bringing him back to reality and the fact that he was in his living room with his best friend and eating ice cream to avoid his problems instead of whatever the fuck he was doing at the moment. 

“Do you like dick Hyungwon?”

_ Avoiding your problems went well didn’t it? _

Sighing the lawyer just gave up, leaning back and grabbing another spoon of ice cream. 

“Just Hoseok’s,” he answered and licked the spoon meticulously, avoiding any other horribly truthful thing leaving his mouth.

“Holy fuck Hyungwon, is it huge? Tell me it’s huge! I have seen every fucking crotch pic out there and I would bet my left nut that he’s one of the most well-endowed exemplars out there.”

The lawyer choked on his spoon as Minhyuk just jumped around on the couch excitedly, waiting for feedback and not even elaborating on why Hyungwon knowing what Hoseok’s dick looked like wasn’t weird. 

It was. He shouldn’t have known what it looked like and even less should he have known how it felt in his hands or in his mouth. Fuck.

“Gigantic.”

Minhyuk absolutely lost his shit, jumping up and pointing at Hyungwon with his right index finger. 

“I knew it Hyungwon! I fucking knew it! Why does everybody meet a hot, worked out guy blowing their mind and then there is me, consoling them over not seeing their fucking luck.”

This was ridiculous. Minhyuk sounded like Hyungwon should be partying hard, celebrating his newly ruined life and fucked up interests, glorifying his sudden attraction to the male body and be happy with the whole thing. Hyungwon hadn’t been gay! He couldn’t just accept it all and move on with his life. Everything had consequences and he didn’t even know them yet. How was he supposed to be relaxed? He wanted to grab something and break it on the floor like he had with a cognac tumbler not too long ago. Why did everything have to escalate like this?

Minhyuk moved back to the couch, sitting down next to Hyungwon and staring at him intently. 

“Why do you look like you have issues? You found an amazing guy who even likes you back!”

Hyungwon erupted like a volcano, anger bubbling up and ice cream leaving his hands to be thrown on the couch table. His hands were shivering and he had difficulties to not throw something at the white-haired man on his couch. 

“Now you listen to me Lee Minhyuk. Do you have any fucking idea what you are talking about? I was perfectly fine the way it was and didn’t need any gay epiphany or similar shit to bring me out of concept okay? I was perfectly happy living my life and not giving a shit about people, but of course Shin Hoseok had to pop by and fuck everything up, take away everything I’m used to and you expect me to just date him? It’s not that fucking easy Minhyuk! I don’t want to be gay. It fucking sucks!”

The gaze in Minhyuk’s eyes switched from worry to something unpleasant and unreadable almost immediately, body slowly moving off the couch and turning towards Hyungwon. He looked hurt.

_ Hyungwon you just basically told him he’s disgusting you fucking idiot. _

Minhyuk walked towards to living room door, holding onto the frame and smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile. Instead it reminded Hyungwon of the way Hoseok looked at him when he had told him that he wouldn’t be an asshole and call him instead when everything ended. 

Slipping on his shoes Minhyuk didn’t say a word, tieing his shoe laces in peace, as if waiting for Hyungwon to say something but the lawyer couldn’t. Words weren’t coming out, none of them good enough for the situation.

“You know, Hyungwon,” Minhyuk commented while opening the apartment door. “I’m looking forward to the day when you accept that your problems aren’t the worst out there. You’re a selfish asshole. I hope you’ll realize what it’s like when you actually care for once. I feel really sorry for Hoseok.”

He left the apartment and shut the door.

_ What have you done Hyungwon? _

Without a second thought his fingers grasped around for his phone, unable to deal with the chaos of his thoughts on his own. He needed help with his own feelings, but he also required to know how to apologize to Minhyuk. Jumping up from the couch he walked to the bedroom where he had left his suit pants and grabbed inside, finally locating it and pressing the number one before holding it to his ear with shivering hands. 

It rang for a while until Changkyun finally picked up.

“I heard you were staying over somewhere yesterday. Was it somewhere Hoseok also stayed?” Changkyun also wasn’t able to pick up a phone call like a normal person. 

Hyungwon didn’t have the energy to lie, so he didn’t.

“Yes, his place.” 

There was no point hiding it, Changkyun would figure it out himself and Hoseok had no problems telling his friends what he did, so why would Hyungwon keep it from him? He would have to suck it up and be genuine if he wanted Changkyun to help him.

“Ooooookay. You explain it to me then.” The other man was right. Hyungwon had called so he should explain himself. It was almost ironic how the only words he could say that fit were the same ones he spoke the last time he talked to the man on the other line.

“I fucked up and I am also fucked this time. Ironic actually.”

“Can you explain so other humans can understand Won? I can't imagine anything under fucked besides the literal meaning and I don't think Hoseok did that to be honest.” Changkyun sounded calm and composed, so unlike him. The low voice calmed him down a little. 

Hyungwon breathed in before doing his best to formulate clearly. Changkyun had already helped him with this previously so he was going to do his best and just say everything that needed to be told. Changkyun was his friend and friends were meant to be trusted.

_ Instead of insulted, Hyungwon. _

“I’m sorry for being such a mess Changkyun. Just so much happened and I still don’t know how to deal with it. I think I like Hoseok.”

Saying it like that was much easier than it felt when he had screamed it at Hoseok, emotionally unstable and dripping with pink water.

“No shit. Tell me something I don't know. Everybody knows, besides Hoseok probably, cause he only believes what makes sense to him. What's your problem?”

“I don’t want to be gay, Changkyun. That’s not something I see as part of myself. I’m too old to be having an identity crisis. Everything is supposed to be figured out and settled. A wife and two kids, a well paid job and happy grandparents. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this now? I never loved a man before. I can’t just start like this. Without preparation. Without anything!” His breathing got heavy again, wanting nothing more than to bury his face in Hoseok’s chest and not have to worry about anything. Shit, he just came home and he already missed him.

“There's nothing wrong with being gay, you simple minded asshole. You can love whoever you want and if you think your kink for paper piles was common, then you're a freak. Did you even have sexuality before? I like boobs okay, Minhyuk loves dick, Hoseok apparently both but it doesn't matter at all. Just try not to be that closed up selfish asshole for once and pull the stick out of your ass. Damn, I can't help but feel sorry for Hoseok.” 

Hyungwon smiled bitterly. 

“Funny, cause Minhyuk said the same when I insulted him like a stupid piece of shit.”

“You know what? Just use your dead brain cells for once and imagine something. Picture screaming at Hoseok like that, that you don't want to be gay and want to live a hetero life. Imagine his face. And then imagine him telling you it’s fine and fucking off, because that's what he will do, not coming back and changing his number. If you're fine with that, then stop hurting him unnecessarily and stay the fuck away.” Changkyun sounded bitter and frustrated, telling him all those things while breathing heavily. 

Hyungwon felt his throat close up, the vision of Hoseok standing in front of him, smile fake and eyes blurred, walking out and never appearing again, painfully real. Hoseok could easily do that, believe that Hyungwon didn’t want him anymore and wished to be with a woman that he didn’t love and never had and also never would. 

Shit he couldn’t go back to that anymore.

“Fuck Changkyun I want him. I can’t deal with him leaving me.” Hyungwon’s voice cracked, desperation bleeding out of every sound and breath irregular, just the image of Hoseok’s absence enough to drive him mad.

“Why the fuck are you like this then? Get your shit together Won.” Changkyun whispered barely audible. 

Good question, why was Hyungwon like that? Couldn’t he just step over his own shadow and try whatever it was that was going on between Hoseok and him? Technically he could, calling the other man and drowning in his arms wasn’t that hard, but what then? What would happen when they actually continued meeting like this? There was no real plan for a life with another man. Hyungwon didn’t even know if it worked out like that. What if they separated because it didn't work and grow apart? It was scary, unpredictable and fucking terrifying. 

And then there was Jung Hoseok.

“Because I know that there is the possibility that he’ll see Hobi and then there will be feelings and maybe I can avoid getting hurt like this. Forgetting all about it although I’d much rather poison Hobi and take Hoseok for myself. I’ve never felt this hostile towards someone in my whole life Changkyun.”

“Won, are you jealous?” Changkyun asked, carefully picking the words. “Let me tell you something because I genuinely believe that you have a thing for Hoseok. You know that one time you fucked off from his studio? I went to his house right after. He cried on my shoulder for half an hour. It was crazy Hyungwon. I honestly wanted to kill you back then. I would bet my balls there are no feelings left in Hoseok for anybody, but your selfish, arrogant ass, although I honestly don't understand why he likes you.”

A strange warmth spread through Hyungwon’s chest and there was nothing that he wanted more than seeing Hoseok again although he had just arrived home, insulted his best friend and suffered from a meltdown because he couldn’t deal with his emotions for the other man. It was pathetic really, but he couldn’t help it.

“How offended would you be if I hang up now and call Hoseok?” he asked with something that barely resembled a smile on his lips.

“Argh, just go fuck yourself Won.” Changkyun laughed and hung up. As soon as the reassuring voice disappeared from his ear Hyungwon felt the knot in his throat return. 

_ Okay relax Hyungwon. This is a normal phone call. _

The lawyer dialed the number he had already memorized by heart and wondered how he arrived at so much social interaction in one day. He lay down on the bed to feel more comfortable and to not fall apart under whatever Hoseok’s voice would tell him, his fingers playing with the waistband of his sweatpants to distract himself from what was about to come. 

He just breathed into the phone when Hoseok picked up, like an idiot.

_ What the fuck are you even doing Hyungwon? Don’t get so intimidated, you talk to him all the time and he’s a cute little bunny. _

Hyungwon couldn’t help the smile spreading over his lips at the thought.

“Hey there,” Hoseok’s soft, low voice came out of the speaker. Shit, why did he have to sound like that on the phone?

_ What cute little bunny Hyungwon? _

“I fucking miss you,” Hyungwon blurted out like in a shitty romance movie where he was supposed to cry and run into Hoseok’s arms instead of insulting his friends and pondering his life choices.

“I miss you too. I think it's dangerous for me to feel so comfortable and happy with you around, although you told me you'd still call when it's over.” He said it so softly, like some genuine compliment or confession. Hyungwon’s chest hurt at the words, wanting nothing more but to scream at him that he wouldn’t fucking let it end like this.

“What would I have to do to get you to sleep at my place and make me breakfast?”

“Hmm, just ask me?” Hyungwon felt the smile through the phone line, angelic and taking his breath away although he wasn’t even there. “And have some groceries obviously,” the producer added sheepishly. 

Hyungwon sucked in another deep breath. He had to be more aggressive than that if he wanted them to talk and settle things. Shit he was scared.

“Well, could you bring some? You’re the cook among us. I’d just set the kitchen on fire. I’d really like you here Hoseok. Tomorrow is Sunday after all.” 

“You really want me to come?” The voice got quiet all of the sudden. Hyungwon just hummed in affirmation. Hoseok couldn’t even imagine how much he wanted him there. He didn’t want anything else as much as the other man’s presence and warm arms around him, preferably telling him that everything would end up being okay although it wasn’t true.

“Okay, give me half an hour. I'll be there,” Hoseok almost whispered again, as if sensing some kind of uncomfortable situation coming up. 

Feeling the reality sink in Hyungwon glanced at his sweatpants and t-shirt clad self, container of strawberry ice cream melting in the living room and suit covering his bedroom floor. 

He panicked, jumping up and quickly placing the suit on the hanger in his walk-in wardrobe and trying to come up with something believable to wear. Keeping the loose shirt he squeezed his legs into a pair of light blue jeans, moved his hand through his hair twice, ruffling it a little and felt moderately acceptable. It was unfair cause Hoseok always looked like a celebrity and Hyungwon actually had to consider what to do and wear to keep up.

Strolling over to the kitchen and opening his fridge he was confronted by gaping emptiness, not even milk present. Hyungwon had really been busy if he hadn’t found time to shop for the most essential. Remembering the ice cream he quickly picked it up from the couch table and threw it back into the freezer, joining a few more packages he had bought during an ice cream shopping spree. One package was still left from when Changkyun visited and was surprised by the two of them almost making out in Hyungwon’s kitchen. It already felt like years ago.

Going over all surfaces with a wet towel he felt satisfied and threw himself on his couch, realizing that he didn’t feel bad about entering the living room since Hoseok had stayed over. One of his favourite blankets was still lying on the side, so he threw it behind the couch, convinced that Hoseok wouldn’t go there.

Looking at the watch he had exactly minus two minutes until the time that Hoseok announced. Running to the kitchen he pressed the button on the coffee machine after placing two cups under it, hoping Hoseok drank coffee at 8PM, because Hyungwon needed that shit at any time of the day to stay awake.

The bell rang once and only shortly so that Hyungwon almost missed it. His heartbeat raced against time and he ran over to the door, ripping it open like an impatient idiot.

“I'm sorry for being late, I stopped by the chicken place because I remembered that you like spicy chicken.” Hoseok stood in front of his door with a huge paper bag full of stuff and two plastic bags hanging on his arm. Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh, wanting to hug Hoseok silly and kiss his stupid face. 

How was he even real? 

As if remembering that Hyungwon had only eaten ice cream since he had gotten back his stomach grumbled and the lawyer switched from delighted to embarrassed at the speed of light, grabbing the bags wordlessly and carrying them to the kitchen.

When Hoseok got rid of his shoes and put the paper bag down, Hyungwon could see him wearing a black supreme shirt hugging his muscles and a light blue pair of ripped jeans that made his thighs look even more defined than they already were. 

Shit, Hyungwon wanted to talk and not jump him. They had seen each other a few hours back and had been doing much more than talk. He still felt a little sore from Hoseok’s ministrations.

“Are you going to cook wearing that?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, taking the chicken out of the containers and placing it on plates to make it look less unhealthy than it was.

“I thought you wanted me to cook tomorrow? Or should I go back?” Hoseok asked a little surprised. Hyungwon’s eyes widened at the other man considering to return and leave his apartment.

“Shit, don’t leave.” He left the chicken half distributed and speed walked over to Hoseok, grabbing his arm in case he wanted to put his shoes back on. “Fuck cooking, do it tomorrow.”

The other man seemed genuinely surprised by the reaction and stared at Hyungwon with his mouth opened. 

“Uhm, I bought chicken for dinner and you told me to cook breakfast so I thought you wanted me to stay over? Did I misunderstand?” 

“Ehm.” Hyungwon wanted to facepalm. Why was he being such an idiot? Instead of spewing even more bullshit he closed his eyes and counted up to five before he answered. “I meant that you’re not supposed to leave and stay over and make breakfast and it doesn’t matter when and the main thing is just that you don’t leave, so don’t, okay?” He was an idiot and he sounded like one.

Hoseok smiled at him and graced him with the most soft gaze he'd ever seen. 

“Ok, I won't go unless you tell me to.” The smile crushed Hyungwon’s resolve like a heavy boot an insect. He threw his arms around Hoseok and pressed himself against his chest, breathing in his scent and trying not to think about anything but the way Hoseok smelled freshly showered, as always.

The other man’s arms welcomed him. 

“I missed you,” he whispered. Hyungwon just sighed in return, breathing a similar affirmation into Hoseok’s neck and not giving a shit that he was acting like a sap. He needed this right now and everyone else could go fuck themselves. Except for Hoseok.

“Why do you always have to be so beautiful and intoxicating? I often think I remember how you feel, smell and look like, but then you're there and my senses explode. Sometimes I just want to lie and breathe you. Take responsibility.” Hoseok chuckled at the end of his monologue. Hyungwon smiled against his neck at the words. No matter how devastated he was Hoseok happened to be an even bigger sap, but the lawyer couldn’t help loving every word.

“Take responsibility yourself. I have never hugged someone after ten seconds of seeing their face, unable to let go and just sticking there like an extra blanket.” Fingers stroked over Hoseok’s back and Hyungwon’s lips rested on Hoseok’s jugular, doing nothing but feeling it and breathing in him in.

A hand raked through his hair and stroked his head, soft like a feather. 

“You okay? Did something happen?” the other man whispered in his ear.

The lawyer chuckled. 

“You happened and wrecked my life. I’m still in the process of deciding whether that’s good or not. Changkyun sounded like it’s awesome. Minhyuk basically said I am the luckiest piece of shit the in the world.”

“Hyungwon are you drunk? What are you talking about?” Hoseok looked down trying to find his eyes, so Hyungwon looked up. If the other man needed to know that he was absolutely sane then that’s what he’d get.

“Never been more aware of myself Hoseok,” he answered and smiled, hand moving up to go through Hoseok’s black hair. He secretly hoped it would stay black forever.

“You're not drunk but I still don't get why I wrecked your life and why Minhyuk and Changkyun are happy about that.” Hoseok closed his eyes at the hand going through his hair.

_ That’s probably your cue Hyungwon. Get your shit together and say something. _

Instead of opening his mouth Hyungwon released Hoseok and grabbed his hand, leading him to the the living room and placing him on the couch. When Hoseok sat down comfortably he sprawled himself over his lap, knees placed on either side of his thighs and hugged him again, face disappearing in his neck and mind feeling calm again. 

“Remember what I said in your bathtub?” 

“No,” Hoseok answered with a serious expression on his face. 

Hyungwon barely kept himself from reacting. Of course Hoseok pretended that it didn’t happen. He was an angel after all, wanting to give Hyungwon the easy way out, pretending it never occurred and that he just had a slip of the mind, unaware of how he really felt. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case and the only one who was unaware was Hoseok himself. 

Unaware of what he was doing to Hyungwon.

The lawyer grabbed the other man’s face in his palms, staring at him to make this as honest and direct as he could manage but couldn’t bring it over himself, kissing Hoseok’s lips softly instead. The producer curled his arms around Hyungwon’s waist and pulled at his bottom lip gently. Breathing was so difficult, everything Hoseok did filled out Hyungwon’s chest and made it impossible to move, wishing for nothing else but to stay in his arms forever and not have to think about anything.

_ Wait, don’t do this to him Hyungwon. You not saying anything just tells him that he was right in believing you want him to pretend it never happened. _

Stopping the kiss abruptly he stared at Hoseok’s slightly parted mouth, moving to his eyes and swallowing down his inhibitions. 

“I meant every fucking word Hoseok.”

“Can you tell me such that I can understand?” Hoseok breathed out, staring right into his soul. Shit, he owed it to Hoseok. He had endured so much for him and got crushed every time because Hyungwon couldn’t get his thoughts straight. 

Looking at the beautiful man and remembering how devastated he had looked when Hyungwon just walked out of his studio, breathing became impossible, the clenching in his chest real, raw pain eating him up from the inside. He pressed another quick kiss to Hoseok’s lips.

“I love you Hoseok and I have no idea what to do about that.”

Hoseok just kept staring with an open mouth until something changed in his expression. 

“Say that again,” he whispered. 

Hyungwon didn’t shift his gaze, never as serious as he was now, stroking Hoseok’s cheek with his thumb. 

“I love you Hoseok,” he repeated in a murmur, afraid of the consequences.

“Don't you dare tell me you'll call when it's over, Chae Hyungwon,” Hoseok breathed out. “Because I can't handle being next to you.” The other man’s eyes became blurry “I don't think I'll be okay if you go.” 

Hyungwon’s eyes widened. He had never seen Hoseok like this, affected and emotions unreadable, but he wasn’t hurt this time. The lawyer couldn’t help wanting to touch the other man, remove the distance and just melt into him, repeat the words into his ear indefinitely if they made him happy. Hyungwon was never going to leave just like that if this is what he could keep.

“I can’t leave you Hoseok. I love you too much for that.” Hyungwon couldn’t help smiling. The other man had said something similar to him before, unaware of how true the words were for them both. It was a fucking mess and Hyungwon had no idea what he was supposed to do, but he couldn’t help feeling euphoric and kissing Hoseok’s chin and lips and cheeks and eyes and everything his lips could touch.

“I have no idea whether all of it is real. I'm scared,” Hoseok whispered. 

Hyungwon swallowed the lump in his throat, fingers finding support in Hoseok’s strong shoulders, gaze moving back and forth between his eyes, attempting to read what they were telling him.

“So am I, Hoseok,” he muttered.

Just that Hyungwon was scared because all of it was too damn real and he couldn’t escape it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't wait to hear what you guys think!
> 
> Suprised? Or were you expecting it?
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have no fucking idea what you feel and what you expect. It’s hard to tell me that you want me around? How do you expect this to work then? I just want to know what you want from me, so I can throw my fucking heart and body at you, hoping that you’re satisfied and don’t leave me."

Euphoria mixed up with an odd feeling of dread that didn’t have any base but was not disappearing no matter how much Hoseok tried to get rid of it. He packed up everything his kitchen was willing to give him, knowing exactly how vacant Hyungwon’s fridge was.    
  
_ Like a cemetery. Does he even eat? _ _   
_ _   
_ It was almost 8PM, Hoseok hadn’t eaten yet and the lawyer probably lived off successfully won cases, which lacked any nutritional value whatsoever. Passing by a chicken restaurant Hoseok decided to get some for them both, involuntarily remembering the last time they ate it together, at his studio. Hyungwon had left afterwards.   
  
His phone vibrated once and he looked at the message before buckling up.   
  
‘Whatever Hoseok, just don’t end up getting hurt okay?’    
  
Changkyun just didn’t make sense. What was that about? Without any introduction, just a random text, not giving any kind of background information necessary for a normal person to understand. Hoseok decided to ignore it and stepped on the gas pedal.   
  
He was a little late, but he had brought everything. Looking a little stupid, as the groceries and bags from the restaurant hung on him like christmas tree decoration, but satisfied he pressed the bell with his hips, hands busy with all the plastic bags.    
  
The lawyer appeared to have been waiting for him, door swinging open without delay. Hoseok was confused at the whole situation. Hyungwon was acting weird, continuously doing things that were so unlike him. The strange feeling spread in his insides again. He felt the necessity to prepare himself for something that would hurt a lot.    
  
_ The text. Changkyun, this fucker knew something. _ _   
_ _   
_ Hoseok wanted to call him, to clarify, but there was no time.    
  
After a short misunderstanding and Hyungwon’s unusual display of affection, Hoseok had ended up sitting on the lawyer’s couch, the other man straddling his lap. He realized how much he had missed Hyungwon, his senses were on overdrive, every touch and every gaze made him so greedy that it hurt.

He wanted him, wanted him to be his, to love him back, to give more of himself, just like Hoseok was giving everything, every second. The longing was so big that he almost missed an important point in the ongoing conversation.    
  
“Remember what I said in your bathtub?” The lawyer looked at him waiting for an answer.

He didn’t intend on play that game. He told Hyungwon that he would act oblivious about the whole evening and he kept his promise. It was easier that way. Hoseok denied and kissed those plump red lips instead, losing his desperation in something that blurred his senses enough to not get hurt.   
  
Hyungwon said he meant everything. At least that was what  _ he _ thought. It was so easy to hint at something, said in a desperate situation, believing it was true but unable to say it out loud. Because it wasn’t true. Hoseok was not going to make this an easy ride.    
If the other man had something to say, he had to say it clearly, pronouncing every word without diverting his gaze or screaming in frustration.    
  
“I love you Hoseok and I have no idea what to do about that.”   
  
He hadn’t expected that. Hyungwon had said so many things while lying in his bathtub and the one sentence that Hoseok thought was the unlikeliest thing to repeat just passed his mouth. The other man was looking at him, gaze never leaving his eyes, staring intently as if trying to prove something to him. 

Maybe he was stupid and didn’t understand.   
  
“Say that again.” Hoseok just couldn’t help but make Hyungwon repeat the same thing over and over again, hoping that it would make more sense after he had said it twice.    
  
It didn't.    
  
His chest clenched painfully, every word that Hyungwon said in his direction, hurting him, making him desperate, reappeared again, as if to remind him what this was about. How they came there, what kind of mess the situation consisted of, them included. His sight became blurry. It hurt and his eyes were giving in.    
  
“I don't think I'll be okay if you go,” he eventually managed to force out, trying his hardest not to cry, or run away from this situation he was caught in. He should’ve been euphoric about this.   
  
_ Why aren’t you happy? He says he loves you. _ _   
_ _   
_ It became so much harder to breathe and the fear of loss replaced the sadness he felt about Hyungwon not loving him back. He was a selfish coward after all. He wanted Hyungwon so badly but immediately got scared to lose it after he got what he wanted. He was scared that it wasn’t real. That life was scary and stuff wouldn’t work out.    
  
“Me neither, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered, gaze still glued to his face.    
  
_ Shit. You selfish asshole. He said he loved you. He was living a straight life before you came and wrecked it. He probably decided to tell you after dealing with scary thoughts and emotional breakdowns and you’re just sitting there and pitying yourself.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Fuck you.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Let’s make this work out Hyungwon-ah. I will make it work out, I promise.” Hoseok cupped the lawyers face, so vulnerable and soft, eyelids closing gently at his touch. Hoseok felt as if he had kicked a puppy. _   
_ _   
_ _ You did. You just kicked his confession and put yourself and your fucking anxiety in the focus. You don’t deserve him. Just let him step on you after he’s done with you and be fucking thankful. _ _   
  
_

Hyungwon watched his inner turmoil and attempted at calming him with wide eyes, still leaning into the way Hoseok’s hand brushed his cheek. “But how?” he asked, eyes narrowed in doubt.   
  
“What do you want from me, Won?”    
  
It was not the smartest move to push all the responsibility to the one who just confessed, but Hoseok had no idea what it meant for them both. They needed to talk about this. Hoseok never had a real dating relationship with a man before. Only the crush on Hobi with regular meetups. Was it the same as with women? Did it feel the same? What did Hyungwon expect from all this?    
  
The lawyer’s eyes remained narrowed, probably sensing his discomfort.    
  
“Isn’t that obvious? I just want you.” His fingers continued moving through Hoseok’s hair after pausing during their mutual desperation, but he looked worried.

“You can have all of me Hyungwon. Everything.” Hoseok just spilled the one ultimate truth that came to mind. It was the most honest thing he had said today. Unfortunately it was not qualified to solve anything. “But, that’s not what I meant.” He caught Hyungwon’s hand and moved his gaze over the lawyer’s face, afraid to hear the answer, if there would be one that is. “We’re not in a vacuum space Hyungwon-ah. You only dated women before, which is the same for me by the way. There are endless possibilities how this could turn out. You have to tell me what you want and expect from me.” Hoseok sighed and looked down at his lap. 

The lawyer pushed himself off, standing in the middle of the living room, looking uncomfortable and eyes incredulously wide. He was shocked. 

“What?” he exclaimed as if Hoseok just told him they were living in a parallel universe and everything he believed to be true wasn't. “What the fuck do you mean you've never dated a man before? I thought you knew what you were doing when you began pursuing me!”    
  
_ So he obviously expected you to lead through everything, believing you are the experienced one. _   
  
“I had a crush on Hobi and we met during those months. We never declared a relationship and we also never stayed over at each other’s houses and stuff like that.” And then he had trouble breathing thinking about the words Hyungwon spoke last. “I wasn’t pursuing you. I just fell in love like a fucking idiot, while being absolutely sure it wouldn’t work out because you don’t like men. And me.”    


Shit it was hard not to cry although it would’ve looked so pathetic. Hoseok put his palm in front of his eyes trying to concentrate on  _ not-fucking-crying _ . 

Hyungwon laughed, but it sounded harsh instead of the soft and happy or loud and obnoxious intonation it usually had.    
  
“Well that makes two of us Hoseok. I also believed that it wouldn't work because I don't like men. Except for you apparently.” Fists clenched at his sides he stood in his own living room, but seemed so out of place, eyes emotional and lips parted.    
  
“Maybe I’ll annoy you so much in the next ten minutes that you’ll reconsider,” Hoseok whispered while repeatedly ignoring the buzzing sound that came from the phone in his pocket. He was not up for conversation right now, at least not with anyone apart from Hyungwon. 

Watching his face attentively the lawyer walked towards him, falling to his knees and placing his head on Hoseok thighs, looking towards the windows. 

“I don't think you'll be able to annoy me enough to reconsider Hoseok.” Hyungwon didn’t leave the impression of someone who knew exactly what he wanted.   
  
“We will see about that. What do you want? You must have thought about it a lot,” Hoseok pressed out trying to ignore the call that must’ve buzzed Hyungwon’s brain away by now and the fact that the beautiful face was far too close to his crotch for him to be able to rationalize. 

Raising his palm and stroking his fingers over Hoseok’s hipbone Hyungwon grabbed into his pocket, taking out his phone and throwing it to the other end of the couch, fingers peacefully returning to stroking Hoseok’s skin.    
  
“I just know that I want you around, all the time. Listen to music you write and produce. For example that song you made out of my childhood melody.” A smile slid over his lips, a genuinely happy one this time.    
  
Hoseok was speechless for once. The other remembered and complimented something related to his personality for the first time. Euphoria rushed through his veins making him forget about the things that they had to settle before rushing into something neither of them was ready for.    
  
“I wrote lyrics for that. I started when you left and I also sang the guide but I need a low voice for the other parts. That is the only reason why it’s not a song yet,” Hoseok started explaining, all excited like a toddler. Hyungwon would just use it next time to distract him, for sure.    


The man's head rose from his lap so quickly one might have thought he broke his neck, staring up at Hoseok, face shining.    
  
“You already wrote lyrics for it? Shit, why didn't you show me?” Hyungwon looked as if Hoseok bought him a villa in Spain.   
  
“Because you left, and I wrote messages to you after you left, well not really, I just typed but never sent them. It makes a big part of the lyrics. I also arranged it, so the beat sounds much better now!” He finally caught himself. 

“Either way, this doesn’t matter,” he added while looking at the vibrating phone, lying on the opposite side of the couch.    
  
_ Who the fuck is that desperate? _

The happiness in Hyungwon's expression dripped of his face, replacing it with guilt.    
  
“I'm still sorry for leaving like that,” he murmured, resting his head on Hoseok’s lap again. “But it is important ‘because you asked me what I want and I told you. I also want to dance with you because it was the first time in the past six years that I had danced without regretting anything.”   
  
“So you are telling me you want to dance with me and listen to my music? Well, that reminds me of what Hobi wanted back then, which doesn’t require being in love with me, does it?”    
  
_ Shit, Hoseok, why are you so bitter? _   
  
Hyungwon groaned at the comment and removed himself from Hoseok’s lap as if burned.

“What the flying fuck are you trying to tell me Hoseok? You were the one who said it's not the same and now you take your words back? Have you thought about the fact that it might be difficult for me to say that I want you around? I said it before. I also want you to hold me and not let me go. I want you to talk to me about things your care about. I want you to fuck me. What else do you want to hear?” Hyungwon was furious, hands clenched in fists and shaking but face so vulnerable, a direct contrast to the way he held his body.    
  
Hoseok grabbed one of the arms and pushed it against his chest, staring at the lawyer under his raven black bangs.    
  
“You listen up Chae Hyungwon. I said it was not the same for me. I don’t feel the same towards you as I felt towards Hobi. I have no fucking idea what you feel and what you expect. It’s hard to tell me that you want me around? How do you expect this to work then? I just want to know what you want from me, so I can throw my fucking heart and body at you, hoping that you’re satisfied and don’t leave me.” Hoseok’s cheeks were burning, his hand was grabbing the other man’s arm with force. He licked over his lips slowly and closed his eyes to regain his senses back, hoping he’d be able to breathe like a normal person. He loosened the grip on Hyungwon’s arm and let his hand fall back on the couch. 

“I'm sorry Hoseok. I love you and I don't want you to leave. I want you around and I'm so jealous of Hobi I can't help it. I'm sorry.” The lawyer looked devastated, eyes still wide from the shock of Hoseok grabbing him like that. His arm had a slight red hue.   
  
“No. You don’t have to be sorry at all. I’m sorry I just acted like an idiot.” Hoseok touched the lawyers arm gently. “I think a lot about us and I can’t help but worry about you.” Hoseok hated himself for being so desperate that he lost control. “What will you tell Lee Minhyuk if he asks you what our relationship is? Or better, what will you tell our mutual friend Jung Hoseok? Because he was already interested, asking Changkyun and me about what the fuck was going on between us.” Hoseok really didn’t want to talk about this, but he knew Hyungwon would face situations like that and he better had a proper answer ready.    
  
The lawyer looked unsure, but placed his head back on Hoseok’s lap as if he belonged there.

“That we're in love?” 

That was really cute although Hoseok doubted Hyungwon would just come out like that. 

“This is really sweet Won. I love your approach, because it sounds so nice. My personal suggestion is, we just continue doing what we were doing, seeing each other and most importantly talking honestly about stuff. That involves you coming to me if you have a hard time with something. And if you want to change anything about us, I’ll be there.” Hoseok exhaled trying hard to concentrate on the important topic, but Hyungwon wanted him dead.  
  
“And now, please, could you not lie on my lap with those lips next to my crotch like that? I’m really trying but it’s hell. Also those fingers clenching around my thighs. I understand your tension, but my body just reacts inappropriately.” He buried his head in the palms of his hands.    
  
That was indeed a whole new level of embarrassing, not being able to have a serious conversation because his dick twitched at everything Hyungwon did.    
  
“Are you seriously telling me I turn you on when we are having an argument. Well, semi-argument?” Hyungwon asked, eyes showing surprise, fingers finally unclenching and letting him form coherent thoughts. 

Shortly after the lawyer grinned at his his relieved sigh, placing a kiss on his right knee.   
  
“Thank you. Fuck, I tried really hard and you wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t tell you,” Hoseok exhaled. “You know that I’m having a lot of first times with you Hyungwon?” 

Eyebrows raised Hyungwon moved his palm over Hoseok’s calf, fingers dancing upwards to his thigh.    
  
“Is that so?” he commented and squeezed the area next to Hoseok’s crotch, massaging the firm thigh muscles. “I have one question though Hoseok.”

“Yes, thank you for making sure I can’t answer like a rationally thinking human, you fucking tease.” Hoseok kept his eyes closed and tried to concentrate on the background noise to calm down. Having mercy on him Hyungwon released his thigh but stayed between his legs.    
  
He glared down at the lawyer.

“How can you be so sweet and cheesy and tell me about your first times and Hobi being the only man you liked before me and at the same time be such a fucking sex beast? Fucking how Hoseok?” Won looked confused, doing this intense gesticulating thing he did when he was serious and excited about something. 

Well sex beast was a little overemphasized, but his drive improved a lot since he met Hyungwon. The other man stimulated his senses in every possible direction, the way he smelled, the haptic of his skin, his muscles under Hoseok’s fingers, the way he looked, those eyes, the lips, the long lean body curling around him. It was like a perfect combination.    
  
“Now cut the sex beast but you keep my senses on the edge with everything you do, including the feelings I have for you. Everything melts into a giant wrecking ball that hangs in front of me, ready to smash. I guess I could describe it like that.” Hoseok finished his description and smiled at Hyungwon looking up from between his legs. The sight was illegal. 

The lawyer smiled back, placing another timid kiss on his knee. Then his gaze shifted to utter annoyance out of nowhere and he stood up, groaning. Walking over to Hoseok’s phone he grabbed it, swiped over the screen and cleared his throat before he put it to his ear.

“How can I help you?” he said in a controlled, but to someone who knew him, very annoyed voice.   
  
Hoseok stood up and looked at his phone under Hyungwon’s jaw to see the number and the name.    
  
_ Fuck, Hobi. _ _   
_ _   
_ Hoseok peeled the phone out of the lawyer’s iron hold immediately and pressed it against his own ear. Hyungwon looked pretty close to hurting someone, a lot.   
  
“Oh Hyungwon, you’re Hoseok’s private secretary now?” Hobi’s slightly amused voice hit Hoseok’s eardrums. Of course it had to be something insulting. What the fuck did both of them swallow to behave like that?   
  
_ Your dick Hoseok.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “No, he’s not. It was ringing so often that he picked it up while I was busy. What’s up?”   
Hoseok wanted to end the conversation before Hyungwon got more mad than he already was.   
  
“Mhh, I see. Must be nice hanging out together late in the evening. Won never did stuff like that back then. Seems as if you had a nice impact on him.” Hoseok wanted to choke someone, or himself. Why weren’t people answering his questions?    
  
_ Maybe you didn’t ask properly. _   
  
“Listen up Hobi, do you have something relevant to say? If not I’m hanging up.” His dominant voice came out because he was getting annoyed and the situation started developing into something rather uncomfortable.   
  
“Wow, I love it when you talk like this. I missed it. Anyway, we should meet tomorrow regarding the beat components. I’ll just come to your studio.” Hobi wanted to rile him up but failed.   
  
“You can’t go there. I’ll take another studio room from Jooheon. I already talked to him in the afternoon. See you at the building at 12. Bring some relevant thoughts regarding the track, otherwise it will take ages.” Hoseok just genuinely hoped that they could get the job done fast and without any negative consequences for both of them, but it appeared increasingly utopic the more he thought about it.    
  
“Didn’t know you hated me that much. I thought I was the one with the two year suffering period. I’ll be there at twelve,” Hobi spat out and and hung up. It sounded bitter   
  
What the actual fuck? Why was everything so complicated? He felt like suffocating.    
  
“Do you have something to drink? Something you could also disinfect your ears with?” Hoseok turned to face the lawyer. Hyungwon just stared at him without saying a word, mixture of anger and disbelief painting his face. Turning around he got something from the kitchen before holding a glass of water in front of Hoseok’s face.   
  
“No offense, but if you would disinfect yourself with that, you’d be dead by now.” Hoseok drank a couple of gulps.

“Honestly Hoseok, I have seen you drain a glass of cognac so often that I am genuinely worried about your liver, so I’d prefer it if you’d drink water.” The lawyer took the glass from his fingers and placed it on the living room table before arms snuck around Hoseok’s waist.   
  
“So nice to have you worrying about my liver, but it’s fine. It was just a little overcompensation during the time you had left. And during the time I changed my number. What I’m saying is, you should definitely give me something to drink, because you’re the reason I drink.” Hoseok missed the proximity of Hyungwon’s body so much that he almost sighed inappropriately at the sudden touch.    


The other man still looked critical, letting go of Hoseok’s waist and carefully watching him while walking over to his mini bar.    
  
“I haven’t touched it since you drank with me,” he commented and took out two glasses, filling them with gin from the bar and bringing them to the table. “I’m not sure if gin and spicy chicken is a good combination to be honest. Sounds rather distasteful.” He pursed his lips.    
  
“It will be absolutely fine. I need to clean my intestines after that phone call,” Hoseok commented and walked over, stopping right behind Hyungwon, breathing softly into his neck without touching him. 

“Fuck,” Hyungwon hissed and almost dropped the glass he was about to take a sip from. “Just now I wanted chicken, but now I suddenly don’t care anymore.”   
  
“Why? You should eat though.” Hoseok was a little worried because the other man was so picky that he didn’t eat like a normal person. He curled his arms around Hyungwon’s thin waist, leaning his head against the lawyer’s back. 

“Because you keep touching me you idiot. I want to jump you but at the same time I also want to set your phone on fire. What was that about?” Hyungwon leaned into the touch, taking a sip from his glass, holding it over his shoulder to let Hoseok take a sip himself.   
  
The burning felt really nice paired with the warmth of Hyungwon’s back and the sound of his heartbeat. He didn’t feel like talking about Hobi at all, it only frustrated him beyond compare.   
  
“Nothing much. Will have to meet him tomorrow,” Hoseok mumbled into the fabric. “Shit you feel so nice.” He lifted his head and placed a soft, breathy kiss on Hyungwon’s nape.

The lawyer released a soft breath, obviously affected by what Hoseok was doing to him.    
  
“Just make sure he doesn’t get under your skin,” Hyungwon commented, hand sliding between his back and Hoseok’s stomach, fingers drifting over firm muscles. “And your clothes.”   
  
Until now Hobi only confused the shit out of Hoseok with his atypical behaviour. He saw no reason why the dancer should’ve done any of the things mentioned. Hyungwon on the other hand...   
  
“You’re a fucking tease and I’m not okay with that,” He whispered at the long fingers caressing his clothed body. “You know exactly what kind of impact you have and you use it like the smart lawyer you are.” Hoseok smiled at himself. Sure, Hyungwon was a smart, educated person. Of course he would use any information possible for his advantage.

He didn’t see the other man’s face but the grin was obvious from the tone of his voice.    
  
“What are you gonna do? Sue me?”    
  
There he went again, testing Hoseok out.    
  
“Mh, I’d start with making you beg, like the good boy you are. Asking me nicely and still not getting it. I think it might make me feel better.” Hoseok smirked against his neck. Hyungwon’s breath hitched, hands sinking deeper into the muscles under his fingertips and long legs shivering.

“Shit, please do.”   
  
“Come here.” Hoseok’s mind went blank. He turned Hyungwon around and pinned him against the minibar, hips grinding into the lawyer’s. “I don’t know if I can keep my resolutions today,” he added while biting into the other man’s neck.    
  
He really didn’t know.

A loud cough sounded from the direction of the door.    
  
“Guys, I really enjoy seeing you like this and I could totally jerk off to it, but I have this really intense suspicion that you wouldn’t like me to,” a high male voice commented behind them.   
  
_ What the fuck was that?! _ _   
_ _   
_ Hoseok turned around at the speed of light and spotted Lee Minhyuk, Hyungwon’s neighbour and friend standing in the doorframe of the open kitchen, smiling at them. He turned back to Hyungwon with a genuinely confused expression on his face, expecting him to explain what the fuck was happening, but the lawyer just looked absolutely terrified. His face was pale and hands were grabbing Hoseok’s arms with so much strength it was almost painful.

“I have to change my passcode again,” he murmured, looking completely out of it.

Lee Minhyuk just walked over to them and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, pouring some gin into it and throwing himself on the couch.    
  
“Mind if I join? Hyungwon still owes me something. Especially after what I walked in on just now.” The man was so casual Hoseok could’ve stood there with his dick out, and Minhyuk would’ve probably done the same as he did now. However, Hyungwon looked so shocked that Hoseok decided to take over the talking part.   
  
“Sure, do you like Gin? I have no idea whether Won has something better. We also have spicy chicken, although it’s probably cold now.” Hoseok walked over and sat down next to Minhyuk with his tumbler.   
  
_ Shit Hoseok, why would you talk about cold chicken? Just shut the fuck up.  _

Minhyuk grinned at him with one of the happiest faces he had ever seen, mouth taking up all of his face and just lifted his glass in a toast.    
  
“Won has shitloads for when I come over or the very rare cases when Hyunwoo visits. Nice of you to consider my needs sweetheart.”   
  
Hoseok let the tumblers touch shortly, making a really pretty sound and grinned back at the other man. If Minhyuk could grin, then Hoseok could easily beat him. 

“Not to make you uncomfortable or anything, but if I do sorry not sorry. Seeing you hard was a dream come true. No kidding,” Minhyuk said while looking over to Hyungwon who was still leaning against the counter, staring at them as if they grew additional heads in the meantime.   
  
“Oh really? Well I hope it was worth it,” Hoseok replied with a soft smile. There was no use in being stuck up after what Minhyuk saw them doing either way, so he decided to go all out. The producer took a considerable gulp and turned to face Minhyuk. “Mh actually Hyungwon told me you liked my music, but nothing about liking my dick. That’s interesting.” A grin spread over his lips.    
  
_ That’s fun. _

Crossing his legs Minhyuk sank further into the couch, smile changing to something much more playful. If that was even possible.    
  
“Would that even surprise you? I mean, look at yourself. I’m not saying your selfie is my phone background but that’s exactly what I’m saying.”   
  
Hoseok liked Minhyuk, he was not stuck up and pretty easy to talk to. He admired it when people were authentic and didn’t give a shit.    
  
“Nice, which one?” Hoseok wanted to see whether he improved in terms of looks, like the arrogant prick he was. Still grinning Minhyuk took out his phone, unlocking it and held it in his direction, commenting on Hyungwon having seen it already. It was one where he hadn’t been that built yet.   
  
“I look better now. I trained a lot since then. I look better than on the picture right?” He lifted his head up, directing the question at Hyungwon. The lawyer looked caught off guard, focusing on the phone in Minhyuk’s hand and switching his gaze to look at Hoseok, eyes wide.

“Yeah,” he said simply before sighing and moving to the couch, settling down next to Minhyuk. His friend looked happy at that, curling arms around him and basically lying on his lap, arms around his waist and head in his crotch.    


“Don’t you have something to tell me Hyungwon?” he asked suggestively.

Hyungwon looked to Hoseok as if begging for help before groaning and looking at the ceiling.   
  
“Mh? Did something happen? Is that the reason why you watched us making out from the kitchen?” Hoseok looked at Minhyuk, who seemed pretty comfortable lying on Hyungwon’s crotch.    
  
Damn Hoseok would have been comfortable too.    


“Well I kept wondering when to interrupt you guys, but no timing seemed good. However when shit got down I realized the right moment wouldn’t come anytime soon and I had to interrupt you. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see you get it on, but Hyungwon would have my balls for breakfast.” He turned such that he could look at Hyungwon’s face. “But man I have never seen you react like that to someone. It’s a turn on just because you are so cold usually. Like virgin porn.”

Hoseok didn’t know that Chae Hyungwon could be physical until he heard the very loud slap emanating from the hand that slammed down on Minhyuk’s ass with force, resulting in the white-haired man jumping away from him in a yelp of pain.    
  
“Fuck, Hyungwon. Why?”   
  
“Wow, didn’t know you were into stuff like that.” Hoseok could help but laugh like a maniac. “And yeah Won is an overall turn-on. I hope you’re not too hurt,” he added, getting the maniac laughter under control and smiling at Minhyuk.

“You Mr. are a creepy sadist, laughing at my misery,” Minhyuk remarked in return and rubbed his sore butt, sliding back onto Hyungwon’s lap as if nothing happened. It was quiet for a while until the lawyer cleared his throat and placed his hands around Minhyuk’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. Really.” His voice was soft and he looked uncomfortable before looking over at Hoseok and then back at Minhyuk. “But is there another reason as to why you just trespass into my apartment?” The white haired man’s grin widened impossibly.

“Why did you have plans for our hottie Hoseok over there?”

“Our?” Hyungwon’s eyebrow rose as if Minhyuk had just insulted his analytical thinking skills. He was about to add something, mouth opening and closing, before he quickly changed his mind. “Hoseok belongs to himself,” he announced instead.   
  
Hoseok tried so hard not to laugh at the memory of Hyungwon telling him he only belonged to him and that nobody else could touch him.    
  
“Thank you for the clarification Won.” He grinned looking at the confused expression on the lawyer’s face.

“Any funny stories you want to hear while I’m here Hoseok?” Minhyuk asked, taking another sip from his gin and enjoying it immensely, if his smile was anything to go by. “Won is a magical being and hates people. Usually. I asked him if he liked dick and he answered ‘Only Hoseok’s’. That was the cutest shit I heard in my life.” Minhyuk giggled and squeezed Hyungwon’s waist some more, while the lawyer’s fist clenched uncomfortably on the side. “But also relatable I guess.” A meaningful look was directed at Hoseok’s tight jeans.    
  
That was sudden, but the small sentence let euphoria back into Hoseok’s body, making him feel warm and pushing him to go over to Hyungwon to kiss him, but he didn’t.    
  
“Is that so? Well you can’t know right?” He smirked at Minhyuk to shift the topic from Hyungwon’s private concerns, because the other man was obviously uncomfortable with it.    
  
Sighing Minhyuk peeled himself off from Hyungwon’s lap.

“You’re a good guy Hoseok. I like you, so just keep in mind that if you hurt Hyungwon I’ll make your life hell.” He smiled sweetly before leaning over to Hyungwon and murmuring something into his ear, hand resting on his thigh and squeezing it. When he finished he emptied the rest of his gin and shot a finger gun at them, legs moving towards the door. “I’ll get going then to not disturb you any further. Mind the fact that I’m next door. Thanks.”

It was quiet until the door fell into the lock.   
  
“Okay, so what the fuck?” Hoseok looked at Hyungwon, as if the other man could explain everything that had happened. Instead of answering the lawyer sighed and emptied the glass of gin he filled for himself before.

“He has a strange fascination with figuring out my key code and always manages after a while. Sorry about that.” Hoseok was okay. He was still disgustingly happy about the little hint regarding Hyungwon only loving his dick, although it was childish as fuck.    
  
“No that’s okay. I’m kind of relieved that I don’t have to see my resolutions crumble tonight.” Hoseok grinned. Hyungwon however, looked less happy about the interruption, holding his stomach and looking a little shocked.

“Holy fuck it’s almost 10PM and I still haven’t eaten since the breakfast you made for me.”   
  
Hoseok stood up and went towards the open kitchen space, immediately spotting the arranged chicken pieces on two plates. He looked around until he found a microwave and put the meat inside, heating it up. He got some bread out of the paper bag and cut a couple of pieces, arranging them on a smaller plate he skilfully picked up from the overhead drawer. Damn it was obvious that the other man was taller, everything was absolutely out of reach for a shorter person.    
  
_ As if he uses his kitchen equipment anyway. Everything is basically new. _   
  
He picked the dishes up like a professional service employee with three plates in two hands, and brought the arranged food into the living room, placing everything on the small table, neatly.    
  
“Please eat. You shouldn’t starve like that. It’s a bad habit.”    
  
Hyungwon just stared at the way he arranged the plates, completely mesmerized, mouth open.

“Holy shit how can you make spicy chicken and bread look fancy?” Hyungwon grabbed a drumstick and placed it in his mouth, moaning at the taste and returning it to the plate without the meat. Sitting down more comfortably he grabbed another one and repeated the action. “This is the best idea you ever had,” he exclaimed, smiling around the food. “Except for that time you placed me on the mini bar counter.”   
  
“Don’t do this to me Won. Just fucking eat.” Hoseok almost choked on his own saliva. And then Hyungwon was asking him how he could be nice and hard at the same time. Well shit, that’s how. For once the lawyer didn’t go against his friendly requests and just stuffed himself with even more chicken, standing up, washing his hands in the sink afterwards and returning.

“You can have the rest. I don’t need that much. But don’t you dare touch anything with greasy hands or I’ll kill you.” Love was indeed strange.    
  
Hoseok got up and cleaned the rest as he strangely didn't feel hungry anymore. After putting everything in the fridge he cleaned the plates before returning to the living room with a glas of water that he handed to the lawyer.    
  
“Drink up.” Surprised, Hyungwon quickly gulped down the liquid, lifting his body up a little to look over to the kitchen and staring at Hoseok in awe.

“I can only repeat myself. Are you even real? Did you just clean everything up? Shit, I don’t deserve you.” The lawyer put his arms around his waist and pressed himself into Hoseok’s body, licking his earlobe. “Wanna watch a movie?”   
  
“I hope you don’t ask other people to watch a movie with them by licking their body parts. Actually I wanted to ask you something. Minhyuk is your friend right? You didn’t seem comfortable with the whole situation. Why?” Hoseok wanted to know what went through Hyungwon’s head as he stood leaning against the minibar, looking like a scared kid not saying a word. 

Shocked by the question Hyungwon’s body turned limp before he raised his arms again, circling them tighter around Hoseok.    
  
“You just don’t know Minhyuk. He’d throw all those detailed questions at me, telling me all that stuff he usually tells me and...it’s just weird.” Shifting his body around, Hyungwon threw one leg over Hoseok’s lap as if he tried to use him as a bed.   
  
“I see. I thought it was because of me,” he exhaled and pressed Hyungwon’s body closer, enjoying the intoxication kicking in after being next to the other man for a whole minute.    
Hyungwon tensed in response.  
  
“Why…” He trailed off, separating his face from Hoseok’s shoulder, looking up at him, loose bangs falling messily on his face. “Why would it be because you?”   
  
Was it really that strange? It made perfect sense, because Hyungwon had only straight relationships before. A friend saw him making out with a man, so it was only natural that the lawyer would feel strangely intimidated by the new situation.    
  
“Because I pinned you against the wall and your friend came in? For example? The fact that you dated women before and might feel uncomfortable at the need to explain the change? But well, maybe I have a strange train of thought.”    
  
Hyungwon immediately shook his head, lifting his hand to touch Hoseok’s cheek.

“No, you’re right. I’m most likely going to be completely out of it when meeting other people. Minhyuk is an exception because he’s gay and honestly I doubt there is anyone who can compete with him in that area. Since I talked to him before it was less about you and more about the fact of being caught in a position that I’m usually not in. I can’t promise anything when it comes to other people. I can’t really predict it, just that I’m kinda scared.” He looked down to his lap, obviously guilty about his predicament.    
  
Hoseok’s chest clenched at the words, making him feel much more guilty about this whole thing. Hyungwon was right. Hoseok had been the one who approached him first and hadn’t backed down, did things with him and eventually showed him that what was possible. He should’ve taken responsibility, somehow. He didn’t want to sound pathetic, but the words just came out of his mouth.   
  
“Do you regret it? I mean meeting me?”    
  
Hoseok should’ve just bathed in self pity by himself, without throwing stuff like that in the other man’s direction. Hyungwon was already confused enough to be forced to think about stuff like that.    
  
“Actually it doesn’t matter if you do, it’s only my brain trying to suggest that running away for your sake is a good idea.” Hoseok smiled bitterly.    


Panicking Hyungwon wrapped his leg further around Hoseok, taking his face into both hands and kissing him on the mouth.    
  
“Don't you dare leave me Hoseok. And I don't regret meeting you. Please don't leave thinking that you're doing me a favour. I beg you.”   
  
It was so ironic actually, how Hoseok forced Hyungwon to beg for things. Because the ultimate truth was still, that Hyungwon could just turn away and Hoseok would be the one on his knees crying, begging him not to leave, promising and giving him everything he wanted.    
  
“I can’t. I’m so selfish that I can’t.”   
  


  
***  
  


  
Resting his head on Hoseok’s lap, legs stretched out over the whole length of the couch Hyungwon attempted to stay awake. It was a futile attempt but he wasn't ready to admit defeat yet. His pride already suffered from succumbing to Hoseok’s movie preferences and losing the fight against himself would be the cherry on top of a huge pile of shit.

The only thing that kept him from leaving the realm of consciousness was his own will and also the soft hand that rested on his waist, stroking his sides and squeezing once in awhile. Hyungwon had already lost track of what happened on the screen an hour ago, Hoseok’s thighs tensing occasionally when it was something dramatic, but otherwise he managed to stay blissfully oblivious. 

When the two of them had talked about their relationship, insecure about what they expected from each other, Hyungwon lied. It wasn't the completely obvious type of lie that you use to easily get out of a situation or the one where everyone and their grandma knew that it had been a lie. No, it was this lack of knowledge and insecurity about the answer that you end up turning it into something the other person wanted to hear. Hyungwon couldn't say for sure that he didn't regret meeting Hoseok. He couldn't. Of course he felt peaceful and happy right now, surrounded by warmth and hands that made him feel things he hadn't before, but still he didn't know yet whether the good could really outweigh the bad.

He sighed and shifted on Hoseok’s lap, eyelids dropping down and fighting a war against his consciousness. 

“Hoseok if you don't fumble me horny or something I'm going to fall asleep on your lap and you won't see me until tomorrow afternoon.” Maybe his consciousness also lost dramatically. It was a little hard to tell when he spewed embarrassing bullshit all over the place. 

Hoseok turned his head away from the screen and looked down.  
  
“We can also go to sleep if you're tired,” he commented, raking his fingers through Hyungwon’s hair. The lawyer almost purred at the contact. His brain was definitely going places. 

“But you really wanted to watch this, didn't you? Although I still have difficulties understanding what's going on and why that chick is sucking him off in the club if they screamed at each other mere minutes ago.” He looked over to the screen where a girl was trying her hardest to give the main character head.

“I don't give a fuck to be honest, let's go to bed. And you also screamed at me and then...well you know. “ Hoseok started laughing.

Hyungwon lifted his head from the other man's lap and cracked his knuckles, feeling rather violent. “What the fuck Hoseok? That's not the same. Don't make me want to strangle you.”   


“True that's not the same. You sucked my soul out in the skyline bar first, and theeen..." Hoseok couldn't get his shit together and Hyungwon felt the other man's muscles tense under his body. This asshole was laughing at him. Lifting his body up fully, the lawyer sat up and slapped Hoseok’s shoulder, hard. 

“Don't laugh at me you asshat. You're the one who kept placing me on objects and seducing me into weird sexual practises.” 

“Oral is only weird if you are weird. And that happened much later. Don't forget I did Taekwondo for 12 years and you'd lie on your back in a matter of seconds if you keep it up.” Hoseok cupped his jaw and pulled it up, staring with his famous predator gaze. 

Shit, why was he always fucking with Hyungwon's ego like this? The wish to jump him right there was intense, filling out his insides. Smirking anyway to not give up without a fight Hyungwon stared back.    
  
“Depending on what you do after I lie on my back I might not even be opposed.” 

“That depends on whether you listen well.” Hoseok caught Hyungwon’s bottom lip with his teeth and licked in his mouth, warm tongue sliding in and spreading warmth all over his body. The other man was only kissing him, but he could feel his body react, pants much tighter than they had been a second ago.

“That can be arranged,” he moaned and straddled Hoseok’s lap as he loved doing, licking over the producer’s teeth and inviting his tongue to explore his mouth further. The other man was really fucking with his libido, literally. 

A loud female voice screaming ‘fuck me,George’ from the Hi-Fi threw Hyungwon off sufficiently to jerk in shock. Remembering the movie he grabbed the remote, turning off the TV, before he attached himself to Hoseok’s lips again, hands pulling him closer, crotch pressed to his stomach. 

“Your taste in movies is shit,” he murmured into Hoseok’s mouth, one hand sneaking between them to move over the other man’s abs. Hoseok was so built, it was impressive. Hyungwon wanted to lick over every muscle in his body and engrave CHW in them.

“As long as my taste in men isn't.” Hoseok smirked and shifted his hips such that Hyungwon felt his erection pressing against his ass. At least he wasn't the only one hard after five seconds of kissing. 

“Your taste in men is superb.” 

Hyungwon moaned at the effect he had on Hoseok and connected their mouths without delay, hand slipping over the defined abs down to his jeans, tight from the erection straining against the fabric. Gliding his fingers tentatively over his crotch, he enjoyed the way the other man hissed at the touch. Leaving Hoseok’s mouth he bit his own lip and slid his palm from Hoseok’s erection to his own, moaning into the other man's face from the spike that shot through him.    
  
Hoseok enjoyed seeing him fall apart in his arms, so that was exactly what he was going to do.

“Get rid of this useless fabric,” Hoseok almost moaned into his mouth, tugging at his shirt helplessly. Hyungwon grinned at his desperation, still feeling relatively in control but also knowing very well that he was about to lose it very quickly, unless he acted smartly. He grasped the edge of his over-sized t-shirt, pulled it up slowly, revealing more and more skin and loving the way Hoseok ate him up with his eyes, unwilling to miss even a second. Tugging the piece of clothing over his head, he threw it to the side, squeezing Hoseok’s body with his thighs and skimming his ass over the other’s erection.

As soon as he was shirtless in front of the other man he continued with what he had done before, fingers moving over his own crotch, slipping under the waistband. Controlling himself he just hissed and closed his eyes, hoping Hoseok would enjoy it and lose his cool as he had before. Unfortunately Hyungwon wasn’t wearing a white silk shirt, but there had to be other ways of getting dominant Hoseok to pay a visit.

“I told you to get rid of any kind of fabric, Won,” Hoseok grunted, visibly affected by Hyungwon’s behaviour, following every movement of his with those hungry eyes. The lawyer wheezed. He loved it so much that he decided to be nice enough to follow the request. He climbed off the lap, opened his jeans and let them flow down his legs along with his underwear, fingers sliding along the smooth skin and back up as soon as he was undressed. Smiling he walked over to the armchair, sitting down and fluently lifting his legs such that they rested on the armrests, spread widely and right in front of Hoseok’s face. Watching the increasing desperation in the other man’s features he leaned his head back and uncovered his neck. 

“Fuck. What the actual fuck?” Hoseok jumped up and closed the distance in what felt like a second, holding himself up on the armrest, pinning Hyungwon’s body further into the chair, hovering over him, breathing like a marathon runner. Hyungwon held his breath in anticipation, waiting for what was about to come. Hoseok looked amazing, leaning over him, eyes dark and focused, black hair framing his white skin like an artwork. Hyungwon couldn’t wait to feel the muscles of the other man’s chest and shoulders contract under his fingers, but for now he had to be patient and see what the producer had in store for him.

Hoseok leaned in and licked a stripe up to his earlobe, sucking and sinking his teeth into the soft skin. He blew hot air into his ear, his nose audibly breathing in Hyungwon’s scent, lips nibbling on his jaw. 

“You wreck me so much with that submissiveness of yours. I want to make you mine,” Hoseok groaned like an animal, catching Hyungwon’s plump lips in a rough kiss, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, muscular arms grabbing his knees instead of the armrest, fingers digging into velvety skin, leaving marks. Hyungwon bit back with all the vigour he could muster. 

“You have to tell me if I hurt you, okay?”  
  
Hoseok continued abusing his neck and chest with his lips and teeth, licking over the red spots carefully. Hyungwon did his best to respond without touching the other man much himself. After all he didn't want to break his resolve before the other man had pleased him to his satisfaction. Hoseok’s lips kept finding his sensitive spots and riling him up as if he wasn't interested in Hyungwon's objectives at all.

The producer broke the contact, stood up and pulled the supreme t-shirt over his head, revealing his picture book body. Toned chest, visibly defined abs, thick veins covering his muscular arms and skin that was glowing as if he was some kind of Greek statue that came to life. Hyungwon could never get enough of the other man's body, wanting to lick over every inch of skin and mark it as his. 

“I love it when you're rough with me. I'm not a paper doll,” he moaned and tried to kiss those beautiful lips while Hoseok’s tender features were still reachable. 

The producer slowly dropped to his knees in front of him, wearing only the blue jeans, bare chested and those black bangs falling over his eyes. He put one hand on the chair, whereas the other one cupped Hyungwon’s erection, stroking it slowly, while moist kisses mixed up with gentle bites all over his inner thighs.

“Fuck,” Hyungwon gasped, forcing himself to keep his thighs spread and not crush Hoseok’s head. “You better keep my legs spread. I'm fucking struggling here.” Hoseok was sin just kneeling in front of him, those black locks between his legs, contrasting with his skin, white hands grabbing his muscles tightly. 

“Why? You want to choke me with your thighs? Would be a nice way to die though,” Hoseok exclaimed after one of the kisses while putting both hands around Hyungwon’s lower back, his lips millimetres away from the lawyer’s erection, breathing hot air at the tip and smiling tentatively.    
  
That dick. 

“You fucking tease. I'm genuinely considering choking you Hoseok. Fuck. But with my dick.” Breathing heavily Hyungwon grabbed Hoseok’s hair in his fist and attempted to push him closer to his crotch. He was really desperate and behavioural norms were completely irrelevant at this point. “Just touch me Hoseok, Fuck.” If the other wasn't doing anything in the next ten seconds Hyungwon was going to jump up and do everything himself. 

“Ask nicely,” Hoseok groaned, exhaling against his tip once again. Hyungwon's brain evaporated and he stopped thinking.    


“Please Hoseok. Please please please. I’d do anything. Shit.” Hyungwon threw his head back, legs shivering from the effort of keeping himself on the chair, muscles hurting from the attempts at keeping them apart, mouth open and skin tingling from Hoseok’s touch. 

“Fuck you're being such a good boy today, I love it.” Hoseok smiled, but instead of taking him into his mouth, the built man stood up and went to the minibar, grabbing a chair.

_ Shit, just die Hyungwon.  _   
  
“You were a good boy, but you also threatened to choke me with your dick, which is why you have to atone for it right now.” Hoseok smirked, all softness disappearing from his expression. He looked as nasty as his thoughts probably were.  
  
“You stay where you are, and touch yourself for me while thinking about how it would feel, if I would be buried deep inside of you.” Hoseok’s gaze never left his eyes while talking, even if the words he spoke out would have made anybody blush. “I will sit here and enjoy the show you will give me until I decide it was enough.” He sat down on the chair a mere meter away and spread his legs demonstratively.

Hyungwon couldn't believe he was making him do this. The idea had been to make Hoseok desperate, show him what he could have if he would put some effort into it. But here he was, spread-legged exactly where he had been a few moments ago just twice as frustrated and with a few red marks littering his inner thighs, standing in great contrast to his skin. Hyungwon honestly considered telling Hoseok to fuck himself, but he couldn't. The dominance the other man emitted was impossible to deny, filling out every cell in Hyungwon's body and forcing him to obey. 

Hoseok looked at him, still smirking and tilting his head to the right.    
  
“Why? You don’t want to?” His tongue poked visibly against his inner cheek, moving around making his expression look even more dangerous. Hyungwon panicked for no obvious reason except for the uncomfortable feeling of having done something bad that Hoseok induced in him. Fuck he wanted to be a good boy. Especially if that meant that Hoseok would spoil him. 

“I'm sorry,” he whispered and slowly moved his right hand over his marked thighs, grabbing his erection and hoping that he would live through this without coming on his own in front of the other man. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. That's how much it raised the temperature and thickened the air. Giving his erection the first few strokes he moaned, going as slowly as possible to tease, but not reach the final prematurely.    
  
Hoseok would be the death of him.    
  
“Good boy. I want you to think about me while you tease yourself, tell me how it would feel like if I was deep inside of you. And don’t you dare come before I tell you so.” The low voice cut through the auditory space between them although they were barely apart. Hoseok’s expression relaxed a little, but the gaze stayed unchanged, sending shivers down Hyungwon’s spine. 

The lawyer gulped down his thoughts, biting his lips and closing his eyes to make it easier for himself. Seeing Hoseok in front of him raised his inhibitions and he couldn't bring out a word, so he concentrated on the feeling of his fingers around his dick, trying to summon the images he used to get himself off before. Hoseok had been an active part in all of them.

“I can't imagine what it would feel like to be filled by you because you never gave me the honor to experience it,” he gasped, hand sliding over the tip only to move lower and tug at his balls.   
  
“Hm too bad, I considered letting you have a first hand experience, if you’re a good boy and do what I tell you to, that is,” Hoseok smiled. “I’ll make it easier for you to imagine,” he added and stood up, sliding his pants down, kicking everything aside until he was completely naked. Then the producer placed himself on the same spot, spreading his legs in the previous manner. 

_ Oh fucking god. _

Hyungwon had no idea how he missed it before, but the producer was kinky. There he was, touching himself in front of Hoseok while looking at the most beautiful dick humanity had ever had the pleasure to see. Some sweat glistened on the other’s forehead, indicating that he was most likely affected too.

Sitting spread legged on the chair Hyungwon couldn't ignore how strong and in control Hoseok looked. Eyes were focused on his body, intense and calculating, thighs were thick and Hyungwon wanted to sit on them, moan into the other’s mouth and be held with no effort at all, like a feather. He couldn't picture what it would be like if Hoseok fucked him, but shit he wanted to know. 

“Damn, you're beautiful Hoseok. I want to feel you so much. I can't even imagine you being able to enter me, but shit I want you to.”

Feeling himself blush Hyungwon clenched his eyes shut, hoping it would make the dirty talk easier.    
  
“When you fucked me with three fingers I already felt like I was about to die. I'll probably lose consciousness when you finally enter me. Shit Hoseok I want you.” Talking about being desperate made the yearning in his limbs so much more real. Hoseok sitting in front of him, naked, hard cock on display and watching Hyungwon like a private show was only the highlight. The lawyer had never wanted anybody to touch him as much as he did now.  
  
“Fuck I want you inside of me Hoseok.”   
  
Hoseok was still sitting spread legged, but Hyungwon missed the moment the other man started touching himself. Eyes glued to the armchair where Hyungwon was falling apart under his own strokes, Hoseok’s right hand moved over his dick slowly, moans coming out of his mouth regularly, especially after Hyungwon had said something again. 

The lawyer loved it when his actions had an effect. Moaning at the movements of his thumb he used his left hand to pinch his nipple, enjoying the combined sensation enough to focus on it and not on the attractive way with which Hoseok’s hand slid up and down his own cock. Hyungwon wished it was his hand or mouth instead.

O _ r body. _

“Hoseok, I can't wait to feel you inside me, filling me up completely and so much better than everything else you've ever done to me.” Hyungwon had difficulties breathing with the images he created for himself. Shit he wanted Hoseok so much, no matter what it was. The other man could have it all and more.    
  
“Shit I'm sure it'll be so full, but so fucking good. I'll finally be able to feel every inch of you, ripping through me and making me yours.”

The more Hyungwon talked the easier it was, inhibitions calming down and feeling Hoseok on his skin the only rational goal to pursue. He had never wanted anything as much in his life as he wanted Hoseok now. His limbs screamed for the other man, arms yearning to touch his skin, encircle his neck, legs begging to be able to close around his waist, mouth wishing to kiss those lips. 

“Fuck me Hoseok. Show everyone who I really belong to.”

“Stop, that's enough.” Hoseok stood up and closed the short distance. He hovered over Hyungwon, pulling his face up, kissing him and licking into his mouth, shaky breaths escaping his lips every now and then. The lawyer needed a few seconds to comprehend that it was really the other man in front of him and not a hallucination, constructed during his delirium.

“You're too precious to belong to anybody,” Hoseok whispered between the soft kisses, his arms curling around Hyungwon’s waist, his body sinking down until he was on his knees again. Hyungwon held his breath, afraid to break the other man's determination and be left with his aching body, yearning for Hoseok’s fingers. 

The producer finally closed his lips around Hyungwon’s erection, hands placed under his thighs, pulling the hips closer to his face. Beautiful black locks covered the lawyer's lower body and he couldn't resist gripping it with his fingers. Hoseok licked and sucked and moved his tongue in circles around the tip, moaning and looking up to see Hyungwon’s reaction. But he wasn't capable of any, every string in his body tensed to prevent himself from coming down the other man's throat. He threw his head back, thighs burning from being spread open for such a long time and hips rising to meet Hoseok’s mouth.

“I'm close, fuck,” he groaned, forgetting everything he told himself not to do and begging his body to relieve him but also to not forsake him by coming. The sensations were running through his veins, tingling along his legs and reaching down to his toes, consuming every thought and oppressing self restraint. 

“I want you to come in my mouth. Now.” Hoseok released him shortly, before taking him back in and moaned over his dick, adding even more sensations, sucking him deep inside his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. Hyungwon felt like bursting, giving up on all the constraints he put on himself just to lose it between Hoseok’s lips and deal with the aftermath later, unable to form a coherent reason that could keep him from coming. 

Screaming Hoseok’s name he bit his plump lower lip, pushed Hoseok’s head further down to bury himself as far as possible and finally came down his throat. He cursed through the post-orgasmic waves hitting him, Hoseok’s mouth still tight on his dick and lower body burning from the strain. He hadn't realised how sore his limbs were while chasing his high but now that he reached it he could have been working out for the past four hours judging by the soreness. 

“I get all dominant but then you come in like a wrecking ball and everything crumbles. You will definitely be the death of me. I have no idea what to expect from you,” Hoseok commented without giving any further background information. 

Hyungwon had no idea what he was talking about but apparently he had done something to ruin Hoseok’s plans. To be honest he didn't care anymore whatever they were (unless they involved fucking him, cause then he was going to kill Hoseok for making him come before that).

_ Shut the fuck up Hyungwon and stop pretending that you're okay with the thought just because Hoseok told you to imagine it.  _

Calming down from his high he attempted to slide his legs down from the armchair, having spread them for more than ten minutes. Fuck it hurt. His thighs were burning like the sun, moving them felt like the passage to hell. 

_ Be thankful that you're a dancer Hyungwon. Everything could be much worse.  _

_ Were. You were a dancer.  _

“Let's make you feel good Hoseok,” Hyungwon said, preparing himself to do his best in satisfying Hoseok and preferably calming down his sore thigh muscles in the process. He really didn't want to think about his dancing career when he was supposed to touch the man in front of him. 

“I’m already feeling good. I love how you look like, how you feel like and how you taste like.” The other man smiled an angelic smile, standing up and walking towards his clothes. Hyungwon huffed and rolled his eyes. Hoseok was fucking kidding him. Every-fucking-time he pretended to be done as soon as he made Hyungwon come. One of these days Hyungwon would just jump him, get him off and not let him touch him until he made sure the other man orgasmed, seriously. 

“Hoseok, you better not put your clothes back on.”  
  
“I sleep naked,” he explained and picked up his clothes, walking towards the bedroom. Hyungwon did his best to not fall to the floor, holding onto the armchair and stretching his long legs by repeatedly rising up on his toes and rolling back onto the whole foot. After having done that about ten times he felt ready to follow Hoseok to the bedroom, still naked but easily convincing himself that Hoseok had seen him in much more compromising states. 

Hoseok came back to his utter surprise, closing the distance and curling his arms around Hyungwon’s waist, pulling him closer and burying his face in the crook of his neck. The lawyer was just about to complain when Hoseok beat him to the first word. 

“Fuck, you looked so beautiful while doing it. I honestly don't think I'd ever be able to forget that,” he whispered. “But you don't belong to me. You don't have to say it like that.” Hoseok pressed their naked bodies together, heat spreading through the skin like an electrical impulse. 

Hyungwon was never going to get used to the other man being such a smooth talker. There he was making sure that Hyungwon didn't feel owned although that's exactly what fucking happened already. Hoseok couldn't just tell him that he was Hyungwon's but not accept him in return. That's not how it worked. 

_ So Hoseok was thrown off by you saying that, wasn't he? Stop making him uncomfortable Hyungwon.  _

“Of course I belong to you.“ He tightened his arms around Hoseok’s body, leaning down and kissing his shoulder. “If you are mine then I'm obviously yours. Isn't this how it works?”

“I wish it was that easy.” Hoseok stroked his back, fingers running over velvety skin up and down, gently massaging muscles on the lower back. “Should we brush our teeth?” he asked. 

Hyungwon wanted to punch him. There he went again pretending like his pleasure didn't exist.    
  
“I'd much rather have you empty your waterfall of sexual experience on me so that I know what I can do to pleasure you.” He purposefully kept his voice soft, lips close to Hoseok’s ear and hands stroking down his sides. “I want to. Please,” he whispered in case Hoseok needed even more reassurance.

“Let's go to bed. I want to feel you next to me. My ultimate kink,” the other man chuckled, grabbing Hyungwon’s hand and dragging him in the direction of the bedroom. Feeling a little manhandled the lawyer considered resisting but Hoseok kept him way too calm to bother with ripping his hand out of the other man's grasp. 

He loved the bordeaux colour of his sheets. It looked amazing in contrast with Hoseok’s skin and this time there was nothing stopping Hyungwon from watching, inhibitions and conflicts pushed aside. He freed his fingers from Hoseok’s grip and threw himself in the middle of the bed, such that he was lying on his back, legs crossed and arms stretched out next to him.    
  
“Join me then.”

“You invented aesthetics didn't you?” Hoseok looked a little overwhelmed, staring at Hyungwon, mouth slightly opened, eyes focused on his body. The lawyer took it as a compliment, grinning and arranging his arms behind his head. 

“Can't argue with that,” he said smugly and licked his lips, feeling warm at the way Hoseok enjoyed his body, but also a little uncomfortable. Exhibitionism wasn’t usually his thing. When Hoseok didn't act immediately he grabbed the blanket lying on the side and covered himself, face heating up and pride-protection instincts kicking in. 

Hoseok walked over and crawled on the bed, sliding under the blanket next to him. He turned to the side, black bangs over his eyes, light blush on his cheeks, mouth slightly opened with a little smile on it.    
  
“So you sleep naked too?” He smirked. 

_ That dick.  _

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and turned away, catching the blanket between his legs and covering his face with it.    
  
“Fuck you,” he mumbled, hoping that Hoseok would finally reach the point at which he didn't fuck with Hyungwon's expectations. He constantly appeared to intend on getting off and then suddenly pretended like he was about to sleep, with a dick as hard as a fucking metal rod. 

Hyungwon felt muscular arms stroking his sides as Hoseok’s body pressed against him from the back, hot breath hitting his neck.    
  
“I think you should wear something though, I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep like that.” Hoseok kissed the back of his neck and his shoulders while moving his fingers over Hyungwon’s lean chest. The position was even more intimate than they had been in before, all of Hoseok’s body in contact with his skin. He felt like moaning at the feeling, but decided against it, fighting a silent battle against his anger. Until he finally lost. 

He removed the blanket from both of them, climbing on Hoseok’s lap and sitting down over his dick, watching the beautiful man throughout the whole action and successfully preventing himself from punching his pretty face. Hoseok released a low moan as soon as Hyungwon straddled his erection.   
  
“If you say that you're going to sleep one more time I'll just do what I want without asking. What the fuck Hoseok? Can't you just think of your own pleasure for once? I want to get you off so let me for fuck’s sake. I love watching you come.” Hyungwon let his mouth go a little further than he planned, but it was too late already.     
  
“My pleasure was to watch you in that chair. You're stupid aren't you? Every time you do stuff like that it feels like coming one hundred times in a row. You. You're my kink okay?” he managed to answer after trying hard not to moan again because of Hyungwon’s hips that were purposefully  moving on top of him.

Hyungwon was a little dumbfounded but the producer was generally very good at confusing the shit out of him. He obviously liked it, but still fought against it for some reason.   
  
“Feeling like you're coming and actually coming are very different things my dear.“ He accompanied his words with another smooth roll of his hips. “And I'm pretty sure that you'd like to get off.”

The other man gradually fell apart under Hyungwon’s smooth movements, trying to say something back but only managing to open his mouth and moan. Hyungwon loved Hoseok like this, mesmerizing and unable to say a word. Lifting his hips slightly he let them move along Hoseok’s erection with more direction instead of the simple waves he had been doing.    
  
“Like it?” he inquired while using his right hand to circle around Hoseok’s dick, stroking it with a few fingers to support the motions of his hips. 

“It looks as if you're riding me and I'm not sure I can handle this,” Hoseok managed to finish the sentence after three attempts, moaning and grabbing Hyungwon’s thighs in the process. The desperation was such a turn on that Hyungwon kept telling his body to chill out and let Hoseok have his fun. He hadn't really considered the way the position looked, but since he usually wasn't naked on Hoseok’s lap and also didn't grind his ass against the producer’s dick the association wasn't too far fetched. Hyungwon found himself wondering how to make the producer feel even better. 

“Fuck I feel like bursting, you're erasing every fucking thought out of my brain by moving your hips like this.” The voice cracked and the state Hoseok was in was a beautiful sight. Mouth releasing moans, lips red and swollen, blushed cheeks and tiny beads of sweat on his forehead, covered by black strands. Hyungwon couldn't help imagining what Hoseok would look like if he'd actually be riding him. The bliss on the other man's face would be otherworldly.    
  
_ Shit, stop imagining and let him come Hyungwon.  _

Resting his hands on Hoseok’s firm stomach, contracting from the stimulation of his dick, Hyungwon slid downwards, immediately engulfing Hoseok’s erection with his mouth and sucking while humming at the same time. Bobbing his head in a quick rhythm to get Hoseok to completion he looked up, wanting to see the moment when Hoseok let go. 

“You-” Hoseok managed to get out before there was nothing besides curses mixed up with his name coming out of his mouth. His low voice repeated Hyungwon’s name as if it was some kind of necessity, hands grabbing the dark brown hair, eyes half closed from the bliss washing over him. 

Hoseok was beautiful when he came, none of the usual worried creases occupying his face, features absolutely relaxed when the tension spiked and released him. The light of Hyungwon's table lamp reflected off Hoseok’s lips and the sight was mesmerizing. 

“I love you Hoseok,” Hyungwon blurted out like an idiot as soon as he let the other man's erection slip out of his mouth and it was the weirdest timing ever. Fuck. Why would anybody do that after sucking someone off and tasting like cum. Hyungwon really had to work on his confession skills, crying in a bathtub and after sucking dick not being the prime-examples of proper conduct.

Again there were strong arms pulling him up, red mouth catching his lips and kissing him, fingers moving over his back, one hand raking through his hair, pulling him closer into the kiss.  
  
“I love you Won,” Hoseok replied into his mouth, words barely audible. Feeling overwhelmed Hyungwon threw his arms around him and slid further towards his chest, kissing back and wanting to have as much of the other man close to him as possible. 

“Fuck, don't make me emotional,” he hissed and licked over Hoseok’s lips, savoring the way he tasted and felt against his own, slowly, enjoying the quiet sounds of skin separating and brushing again. 

Hoseok curled his arms around him in response, looking at his face as if it was something unbelievably precious. 

Over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell there are some discrepancies in their views when it comes to their relationship. Let's see how that goes~
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wow, so is this a triple date or something? Although I only got two cups of coffee and you’re not gay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes trouble~

He was awake for almost an hour already, looking at the ceiling, out of the window, at the walls and at Hyungwon. The other man was sleeping curled up in his blankets, hugging the pillow, as if it was a person.  
  
Hoseok tried to sort out his thoughts, to find a clue, how they managed to end up like this, wondering, what it was, that made the time and space flow such, that he met Hyungwon, that he started liking him, approached him, got rejected, got approached by him, confessed his love and ended up lying next to him, watching the beautiful man sleep. Those confessions, in the bathtub, on his lap, between his legs, they all didn’t make any sense. Hoseok was genuinely scared.  
  
_You can’t fuck this up, Hoseok. You fucking can’t._  
  
It was not that he didn’t want Hyungwon next to him, it was also not about him believing in what the lawyer told him. All his thoughts rotated around the fact, that the other man must’ve gone through a major personal crisis, before being able to tell him about his feelings. He only had straight relationships before, moreover he wasn’t even interested in a man sexually before Hoseok had come along.  
  
_Before you came and ruined his life._

Hyungwon expected him to take care of all this mess, to guide him through the new situation he found himself in, to tell him what to do. In the end the only thing Hoseok was capable of, was bathing in self-pity, while thinking about himself, about how much he loved Hyungwon and how he was scared he couldn’t bear it if the other left him.

He slid his legs down quietly, afraid he might wake the other man up, collected his clothes from the chair and walked out, closing the door slowly without making a sound.

It was 8AM, and he remembered his promise to make breakfast, although Hyungwon told him not to bother and most importantly not to wake him up. He had four hours until the meeting with Hobi, but he had to be at the building beforehand to get the key card for Jooheon’s studio, set the equipment up and prepare. He also thought about asking Hobi to come an hour earlier, to get over the session faster.

Cutting the vegetables and the fish in tiny pieces, he almost cut himself, thinking about Hyungwon sitting on the leather chair, touching himself.  
  
He wouldn't be able to forget the sight.

_Ever. Just tattoo it on your eyeball Hoseok._

He felt a familiar suffocating sensation building up inside his chest. Words that were dripping from those red lips while the other man moved his hand between his legs. It was as if Hyungwon was holding a mirror in his face, showing him what kind of person he was. Possessive and greedy. He wanted Hyungwon to be his, to keep him forever so he, himself wouldn't get hurt. He wiped his eyes. The onion was indeed strong.

_Yeah just cry out in self-pity and pretend it was the onion._

Mixing the eggs with the other ingredients, he felt weird, being in Hyungwon’s kitchen, touching his stuff and acting as if it was something natural to do. He was making breakfast for his ex lawyer, whom he loved. If that wasn't weird, he didn't know what was.

_Yeah you also forced him to imagine being fucked by you. That would top the weirdness._

It felt strange. Hoseok had never considered sex to be something that needed to be overthought repeatedly. Hobi hadn’t been his only sexual experience with the same sex, he was just the only one with feelings involved. But imagining sex with Hyungwon seemed so meaningful. It felt as if Hoseok had to be extremely careful and thoughtful. He needed to rationalize possible consequences and decide consciously.

_Because you could hurt him._

Hoseok didn't want to hurt Hyungwon. It was not about physical pain. He had enough sex to know that it was something that wasn't an issue with enough patience and preparation.

He was scared that it would change something, that it would make the other man more vulnerable, that Hoseok could accidentally step on his feelings and be the oblivious asshole he sometimes was.

_You're so in love Hoseok. That's fucking pathetic, look at yourself._

He decided to postpone his self destructive thoughts and arranged the omelette on a plate, cutting some herbs and dispersing them all over it.  
  
Done. He was satisfied and hoped Hyungwon would really eat it.

He got his phone out and typed a short message to Hobi.

‘Hey. Can you come at 10? Then we will have more from the day after we finish.’

His phone vibrated immediately, showing a short confirmation under Hobi’s contact name.  
  
The drive to the studio building was a little tiring because of all the families going somewhere with their kids, traffic pretty heavy. The guard greeted him with a smile and waved with Jooheon’s keycard. He had to remember to buy the rapper a huge meal next time.

After connecting his laptop and adjusting Jooheon’s equipment he waited for Hobi to arrive. He told the guard about the black haired guy coming, so he didn't have to call and the nice man promised to bring his guest up.

Hoseok clicked through the folders until he found the ‘1Verse’ final version from two years ago. DoubleClick and the heavy beat pumped through his headphones. Hobi was such a good dancer but he was also an amazing rapper, pictures of their sessions flooded his brain, accompanied by Hobi’s low verses, rhymes and punchlines following one after the other, rushing over the beat.

A hand touched his shoulder and he turned around in surprise. Black bangs falling over his forehead, a black supreme hoodie and tight black ripped jeans, angelic smile. Jung Hoseok stood behind him looking at the laptop screen with his song playing in the background.  
  
Hoseok ripped his headphones down like a maniac.

“How did you come in? I almost had a heart attack! What the hell?” He looked up at the other man, who was still grinning at him.

“Uhm, the guard let me in and I looked at you enjoying my song for the past two minutes, which was totally worth not saying anything.” Hobi grabbed another chair from the corner and slid right next to Hoseok leaving no space between their thighs, catching his gaze.  
  
Hoseok was strangely intimidated, although it was supposed to be a working session and Hobi hadn’t done anything to provoke. Yet. He moved away creating an appropriate distance between them.

“Let’s hear your thoughts first. It's your track, so tell me what you expect.” Hoseok stared at his monitor while waiting for Hobi to start talking.

“Yeah, but what is wrong with you Hoseok? Get the stick out of your ass first, relax and listen to the stuff I brought you.” Hobi pulled a usb stick out of his jeans pocket, pushing it into the slot of Hoseok’s notebook.

After half an hour the atmosphere changed significantly. They sat next to each other, laughing and talking about music and dance. Hobi had brought amazing drafts Hoseok could use to produce and the other man's thoughts on the remix were more than useful. He remembered why he had liked the other back then. They had so much in common and talked for hours, enjoying each other's company.

“I suppose you didn't talk to Namjoon yet, but I want to make another track Hoseok. I want you to make the beat for the lyrics I wrote, there is already a theme and you are really good with those dark beats. I know that.” Hobi suddenly looked at him, smile fading and eyes looking so incredibly vulnerable.

Hoseok had thought it was a remix. Producing a whole song for lyrics that were already written was hard. He had to dig deep into the matter to convey the message properly though music. It was a lot and it was something he wasn't sure he wanted to do.

“But we didn't talk for over a year Hobi. There are so many producers out there. You didn't have to pick me.” Hoseok stared at him trying to understand the other man's ambitions, but the look on the dancer's face softened suddenly and a bitter smile hushed over his lips.

“It has to be you Hoseok. Please.” Hobi rested a hand on his arm.

Hoseok had no idea what this was about, but the look on the other’s face seemed so sad. He honestly wanted to help him and he could probably do it in a week non-stop working with Hobi’s input.

“Let me see what you wrote.” Hoseok smiled softly and grabbed the piece of paper the other man pulled out of his bag, unfolding it. His gaze ran over the words written in black ink.

‘The light of my future is dimming  
Because of my childish love, I lost my way on a path of dream.  
The venom of my ambition, I sharpened my knife every day  
But because of my uncontrollable greed my knife became dull.  
I know it all.  
This love is another name for the devil  
Don’t hold her hand  
I shouted but turned away from my conscience  
I feel the sharp reality more every day  
There’s red blood from being torn apart by reality  
I never thought that  
The greed would become the trumpet heralding hell  
Breathe’

It was only the first verse and he felt like suffocating. His eyes widened and he stared back at the pair of black eyes over the piece of paper, mouth open and at loss for words.

“What is that?” Hoseok managed to press out still unable to look away.

“It's called ‘boy meets evil’. I know the name is kind of childish, but I think you could make a really nice, dark beat for it. Something I could also dance to.” Hobi smiled and stared back.

“I'm going to read that. Could you maybe get us coffee? I didn't have any in the morning,” Hoseok whispered, looking somewhere next to Hobi’s bangs. The other man nodded in confirmation, grabbed his bag and left.

Hoseok felt extremely uncomfortable reading the lyrics. Something inside of him told him that he shouldn't be the one working on this. There was no logical or rational reason, but the feeling of dread spread through his insides. His eyes found the written words on the paper again.

‘It was crazy good  
I was an idiot addicted to sweetness  
Yeah an idiot  
I didn’t want to let go of the devil’s hand’

Something started spinning in his head, pictures and voices mixing up and he felt nauseous. He felt as if this was far too intimate. This felt like looking into someone's soul and Hoseok didn't want to be the one looking into Hobi’s soul.

 _Hyungwon_.

He felt the overwhelming need to bury his face in Hyungwon’s shoulder, curling his arms around the thin waist, pressing him closer, smell him and calm the fuck down.

Hoseok pulled his phone out of the pocket, just to realize he had five new messages.

‘Your majesty was almost satisfied with the peasant breakfast you offered me.’

‘When are you free?’

‘I think you said lunch or something so you better be free by now.’

‘Am I being ignored? You better answer me, or I'll just go there.’

‘Okay fuck you, I'm on my way’

The last message was fifteen minutes ago and Hoseok’s breath got stuck because of the sudden euphoria. It was as if Hyungwon knew exactly when he needed him the most, however, the happiness was replaced by a rush of adrenaline that numbed his limbs almost immediately.

_Oh no._

He almost choked remembering the last interaction between Hobi and Hyungwon. Having them in one room was like dynamite. Hoseok didn't want any escalation and considering Hyungwon’s personality and Hobi’s intimidating stubbornness this was bound to blow everything away.

Shaky fingers pressed the call sign next to Hyungwon’s contact, but no-one was picking up.

Hoseok sat down on his chair and buried his head in his palms. His muscles tensed, fists clenched and breathing became hard.

He was scared.

 _Fuck_.

 

***

 

Warmth surrounded his limbs, pleasantly filling out his body from the toes up to the neck. Breathing in he fought desperately against reality’s endeavour of dragging him out of slumber. Hyungwon could be really stubborn when he wanted to be, so he just snuggled even deeper into the blankets and inhaled the scent of his bed, a mixture of freshly washed sheets, his shampoo and something else.

He sniffed again to identify it. It reminded Hyungwon of his parents’ garden back in Korea which was filled with pine trees. A smile hushed over his lips remembering how he tried to convince his mother to remove them but they were part of her conception dream so she was way too attached.

_You haven’t called them for ages Hyungwon._

He covered his face with the blanket, breathing in even more pine and something that planted an immediate visual image of a warm chest against his face, arms holding him tight and a voice whispering something incoherent.

_Hoseok slept over and you fell asleep while he was still talking to you. What if he said something important and you just mumbled some weird ass bullshit?_

Hyungwon groaned and rolled to the other side, the one that Hoseok had occupied and left cold. He probably stood up a long time ago and left for that recording session with Hobi.

_Jung Hoseok._

Hyungwon’s body was out of the bed faster than a middle schooler closed a tab while being caught watching porn. Feet carried him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get the disgusting taste out of his mouth that was only partially due to having slept and mostly due to the bile rising in his throat at the idea of Hoseok spending time with that snake.

Jung Hoseok could be afraid of snakes as much as he wanted (and he was fucking afraid of them, Hyungwon had video proof) but he was one himself. Furious teeth brushing turned into furious showering as Hyungwon scrubbed his body as if he was using it as an anti-aggression therapy. It wasn’t really working.

Hyungwon knew that it was childish but he kept having this feeling that Hobi had a plan and Hoseok would be too nice and oblivious to resist and go against it, playing into the dancer’s hands like a lousy poker player. Sighing Hyungwon styled his hair and put on a nice silk shirt with some tight black jeans, a lovely mixture of casual but elegant. It was Sunday but he didn’t know if he would ‘accidentally’ end up seeing people after all.

_Well you obviously want to see Hoseok although you saw him all of yesterday and the day before and probably today but you were too gone to realise. You’re a greedy shit Hyungwon._

He didn’t care at all and moved a hand through his hair, giving it more of a messy but hot look before walking into the living room, turning to the open kitchen and wondering where all the dirty dishes went. Hoseok was the cleanest and most organized male Hyungwon had seen in a long time.

Changkyun sometimes left his socks in weird areas of Hyungwon’s apartment and he didn’t even stay over. They just appeared everywhere like a plague.

A glance at the kitchen table revealed a plate with a beautiful omelette arranged on it. Hyungwon had never gotten around to tell Hoseok that he didn’t eat breakfast, but since it was almost 12 PM it could be considered lunch.

Still a little suspicious he grabbed a fork and a knife, poking the texture and was satisfied with the way it surrendered. Cutting a mouth sized piece out of it he chewed and encountered an unusually pleasant taste bud explosion. The spices and greens the other man sprinkled inside were a nice addition although Hyungwon hated it when foods had too many ingredients.

Grinning at Hoseok probably worrying whether he liked it he took out his phone and sent the other man a message, commenting on the breakfast being to his liking.

He quickly finished the food and placed the dirty plate into the dishwasher as his lovely housekeeper would do the rest. She was honestly the best and kept Hyungwon organized outside of his work, everything clean and where he needed it to be even if he hadn’t placed anything back. Feeling loosened up Hyungwon walked over to his hi-fi equipment and turned on some music, tired of the silence and feeling a little better than he had before eating brunch.

He had been angry because of Hobi spending time with Hoseok, but seeing how the latter invested his time in doing something as irrelevant as cooking for him he felt uncommonly grateful. He crushed the need to move his body to the dance beat he turned on and went over to the hallway to check if he had left any shoes there that he might consider wearing again. At that exact moment his door clicked open, a box flew inside, landing on the ground and the door shut just as quickly as it opened.

_What the actual fuck Minhyuk?_

Since there was no one else who had Hyungwon’s keycode (which he still needed to change) it was obvious that Minhyuk had thrown something into his apartment like on a dumping ground, without explaining himself. Rolling his eyes and feeling annoyed at the childish behaviour Hyungwon picked up the box and opened it, only to freeze and fight the sudden need to become violent.

_This fucker just threw a pack of condoms into your apartment. What is this supposed to be? A SexEd lesson?_

Staring at the neatly arranged packages of condoms, available in all kinds of flavors and bought in extra large Hyungwon couldn’t help but wonder why Minhyuk would bother to give him condoms, especially extra large ones.

_Oh._

_They're not for your dick but Hoseok’s, Hyungwon._

Blood rushed to his face like a fucking tsunami, head filling with thoughts of situations in which Hoseok would have to wear a condom, situations that involved Hyungwon in compromising positions. Although he had felt scared before he wasn’t as uncomfortable with the thought as he had been a week ago. Hoseok knew what he was doing and the lawyer trusted him enough. The only question was what it would mean for their relationship and whether it would change anything. In straight relationships Hyungwon wouldn’t have hesitated much, but somehow he wasn’t sure when it came to Hoseok. Technically sex wasn’t necessary, just a nice addition but the idea of sleeping with the producer sounded like something Hyungwon was willing to try.

_But not because Minhyuk threw a fucking family pack of condoms at you. What the fuck?_

Hyungwon crumpled the package in his hands and threw it into the kitchen, unwilling to be confronted with it any longer. A yellow note remained on the ground, stuck to the wood and covered with Minhyuk’s unfairly beautiful handwriting.

‘I take everything back. You do sound hot when you moan. I guess you’re not the only lucky one. Hoseok is fucking lucky too. Love you.”

Why did his friends constantly get involved in his issues? It was getting ludicrous and especially childish. Minhyuk sounded like Hoseok and him had found each other and would live happily ever after from now on. Date and shit.  
  
They weren’t dating though, not really at least.

_Right?_

It was complicated and they would figure everything out in due time and preferably without Hyungwon having to tell anyone until it was clear.

Swallowing down the fact that Minhyuk had listened to Hoseok and him getting it on, Hyungwon wanted to leave the apartment as soon as possible, preferably somewhere where Hoseok was too, so that thinking was kept minimal and comfort stayed at an alltime high.

Taking out his phone he asked the producer when he would be done, avoiding all insults of the person he was working with. He had class, he was going to stay strong and distant and not make things difficult for Hoseok.

_Unless Hobi acts like a fucking dick of course._

_Or you lose your shit Hyungwon, because you never manage to control yourself when it comes to Hoseok._

Impatient that the producer hadn’t answered Hyungwon sent off another message, and another, before he just decided to fuck it and drive over to Hoseok’s studio. Walking into his parking garage his blood ran cold at the empty space, no car in sight and air freezing cold. Shit what the fuck happened to his car?

_You left it at Hoseok’s studio you idiot. Back on Friday since you didn’t need it._

Hyungwon wanted to facepalm, hard. He kept misplacing his things when he was with Hoseok. Back then he had also forgotten his car key like a dumbass. He quickly called a cab and walked up to the entrance, sitting down at the red seating area, enjoying the classical music and smiling at the guard who graced him with a polite nod.

This way Hyungwon wouldn’t have to pretend that bringing some Ramyeon to Hoseok’s studio was a valid reason to visit. He had his car there so of course he had to pop by! After all he had work tomorrow and couldn’t just take a cab all the time.

A young woman entered the building, asking if anyone requested a taxi. Standing up Hyungwon smiled and followed her out. She seemed to be in college and probably earning extra money for tuition this way. Since she seemed a little awkward he buckled up quickly and broke the ice with a question.  
  
“I didn’t know that it’s possible to drive a taxi at your age.”

The girl’s eyes widened and she shook her head.  
  
“I have a license sir, so please don’t worry. I am perfectly qualified to do this.” Laughing Hyungwon reassured her that he wasn’t doubting her qualifications and sank further into the seat, stretching out his long legs and telling her the address of Hoseok’s studio. The girl’s eyes widened comically again and she wowed. “Do you work there sir? There are quite some famous people working at that place.”

Smiling to himself Hyungwon nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m not one of them. Just visiting a friend.” Saying that dispersed an unpleasant taste on Hyungwon’s tongue. It was pretty far from the truth considering their relationship. Still he didn’t take it back.

“Oh really? That’s cool. A friend of mine had once been close to Shin Hoseok, but I’m not quite sure whether to believe her. She said she had pictures, but didn’t show them. Saying she had to delete all of it or something.” The girl laughed wholeheartedly as if she expected Hyungwon to find the whole thing as ridiculous as she did.

Laughing wasn’t really the reaction that Hyungwon felt building up. It wasn’t clear whether it was the same girl or maybe if it was really someone who lied, but the lawyer couldn’t help suspecting the blackmailer he had dealt with before to be behind everything.

“Interesting,” he spoke, voice free of the anger he felt and smile still in place. He was good at this after all. Feeling comfortable the girl just continued talking about which producers and which songs she enjoyed and how much she wished to tell them how awesome their work was. It didn’t stop until the car finally braked in front of Hoseok’s studio and the elated mood that Hyungwon had enjoyed before leaving the apartment turned sour in a matter of seconds.

_Hoseok is fucking popular and everybody knows him. The more people see you with him the more will be in newspapers. What if something happens?_

The thought that being with Hyungwon could ruin Hoseok’s career clashed into the carefully structured wall of his thoughts. Hyungwon was being an idiot. Knowing about their relationship could be a much bigger scandal than Hoseok’s dick going public. This was fucking dangerous. Did Hoseok even know what he was getting himself into? He couldn't ruin his passion because of liking someone like Hyungwon.

_Fuck._

Still uncomfortable Hyungwon remembered that he had wished to buy food and walked past the studio and further into a side street where he remembered a Ramyeon shop to be. Hoseok loved that shit so his health would have to be compromised. Buying four packages, in case Hoseok wanted to stay longer and work like a maniac, he watched the lady at the counter pack everything up nicely and walked back to the building. Smiling at the guard he stepped into the elevator, eyes closing and leaning casually against the railing.

_Don’t worry Hyungwon. Why would anybody care about a producer’s love life? People should have better things to do. Everything is gonna be just fine._

A lean figure dressed all in black jumped into the elevator shortly before the doors closed. The man tried to balance the two coffee cups he held in a really skilled manner, lifted his head and an angelic smile appeared on his lips, fading a little bit with every passing second.

“Chae Hyungwon, what a surprise,” Jung Hoseok exclaimed, smile turning into a smirk, body slowly leaning against the railing.

Hyungwon didn’t even need to open his eyes to recognize the other man, appearing like the devil in disguise, smiling. But although it had had a calming effect on him a few years back Hyungwon couldn't calm his heart rate now. Technically he had known that Hobi would be there, but he had hoped to have more more time to prepare for it. Seeing the dancer now caught him off guard and made his blood boil. He fought the anger and begged his mind to stay tranquil.

“I assume you’re currently working on the track.”

Hyungwon blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, staring at the other man and thanking his intellect for depicting him as much calmer than he really was. His relationship with the dancer had become significantly more entangled since the coffee shop and Hobi didn’t look like he felt comfortable around him either. He had called him by his full name for fuck’s sake. Anger and confusion kept mixing into a dangerous substance.  
  
“Since when am I Chae Hyungwon to you?”  
  
Hobi started laughing, but something seemed off as his eyes didn’t change.  
  
“Since you acted like Hoseok’s lawyer, which I heard you’re not. The more interesting question is, why are you here Hyungwon?” He put on his angelic smile and softly swung the coffee back and forth.

Hyungwon sucked air through his lips, biting down on the lower one. Jung Hoseok was infuriating and he hadn’t even said much yet. The anger he had felt in the morning started piling up and he wanted to scream that if he wanted to visit Hoseok no one was going to fucking stop him.

_Think of Hoseok’s career Hyungwon. Fuck, you can't just scream it around._

“Well as you said, I was his lawyer. I tend to help out if I feel it’s necessary.” The answer was smooth enough to not feel his hands shiver, still holding his bag of food. _Food_ , he brought food. Hyungwon lifted the plastic filled with Ramyeon into the air shortly, clasping his mind around it like a last resort. “And I’m here to give him lunch ‘cause I know he probably forgot eating and would just sit there and work. In addition to picking up my car, which is still here that is.”

Why would you tell him about Hoseok’s destructive behaviour you idiot. You're just making everything worse. Shut the fuck up.  
  
“Wow, so is this a triple date or something? Although I only got two cups of coffee and you’re not gay. Hoseok didn’t tell me you were coming. Why is your car here? Did you stay over?” Hobi chuckled after bombarding him with questions.

_What?_

Hyungwon couldn’t help the slight widening of his eyes, hands sweaty from the way his mind was on overdrive, wishing to escape the situation. Panicking at the inquiries Hyungwon just asked the first thing that might have forced the other man stop. Turn him into the same uncomfortable mess that he himself was.

“Oh, since when are you gay Hobi?” He completely ignored the other questions, begging that Hobi wouldn't return to them and focus on doubting his sexuality.  
  
The other man smiled widely, eyeing Hyungwon from head to toe. “I guess I’m bisexual. Or maybe Hoseok-sexual, however you want to put it. So did you stay over or not?”

_Fuck. Now you have it confirmed. Why did you even ask?_

Hyungwon couldn't breathe. How could Hobi just scream it out like that? Not only admit a possible preference for men, but also the strong infatuation with Hoseok? Hysteria rose in his head like a grey cloud, covering all sound judgement and forcing the image of himself admitting his preferences to the whole world inside his mind. He couldn't do this, he _couldn't fucking do it_.

Hyungwon grimaced, leaning a little further, trying to get more distance between the dancer and himself and wondering why the elevator didn't move. Pressing the floor button for Hoseok’s studio he glanced towards Hobi and felt even more pressured to answer. Shit, what was he supposed to say?

“No I didn’t stay over. Those studios aren’t really equipped for that, but Hoseok and me went somewhere and didn’t bother taking two cars.” He forced out a half assed explanation, wishing to run away somewhere and not have to think about what to respond with. He couldn't just scream the truth at Hobi and let Hoseok deal with the consequences.  
  
_Fuck._

 _Hyungwon stop panicking and think._  
  
“If I wouldn’t know better, I would’ve said you are acting strange towards Hoseok. Don’t you have a girlfriend? Or are you married to work?” Whatever Hyungwon had repeated in his head concerning not panicking it had been absolutely futile. Hobi was going right for where it hurt. Hyungwon didn't have a girlfriend and wasn't married to work either. Not anymore. He was infatuated with a man and had to keep it a secret because the man was fucking famous.

_And because you are fucking scared of being confronted about it Hyungwon._

Heartbeat pumping in his ears the lawyer turned on the only defense mechanism he was capable of when his brain was on overdrive. Asking back.  
  
“Why would that be any of your business Hobi? What is this? An interrogation?”

The eyes narrowed staring back at Hyungwon.  
  
“Well it's not, I'm just asking because you behave absolutely different from what I remember. It also seems interesting to me that you're hanging out with Hoseok so much, so I'm asking out of curiosity. Why, do you feel uncomfortable?” Hobi leaned back and waved at the guard to help them.

The lawyer nodded to show he was listening, trying to get his thoughts under control but still failing. Visions of Hobi easily confessing his love to Hoseok floated around in front of his inner eye. Visions resulting in the producer understanding that being with someone who knew what he wanted was so much easier and so much more worth it. What was he supposed to answer? The truth was too much and there was no good lie.

_Fuck, just stay distant._

He closed his eyes again, waiting for the guard to authorize and press a different floor than he was used to. Probably because Hoseok wasn’t in his own studio while working with Hobi. He opened his eyes to stare at the other man, forcing his body to not show his discomfort. The two of them couldn't be arguing in the elevator now! They were about to see Hoseok and Hyungwon didn't want to make him more uncomfortable than he had been at the cafe.

“I just don't see why it would be relevant. It's Hoseok’s and my business whether we like to meet up or not.” Staying distant and voice magically unaffected Hyungwon looked up, watching the floor numbers move up and hoping for sweet release from the conversion.  
  
“Do you like Hoseok?” Hobi turned around, glaring with a smirk on his lips. Hyungwon’s answer got stuck in his throat like when one had a painful cough but couldn’t get rid of it no matter how much one constricted one’s throat. He didn’t know how to answer that question, especially to Hobi. He couldn’t just say yes, could he?

_You can, just sound nonchalant._

“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” Hyungwon replied and watched the number counter finally reach their designated floor.  
  
“Don’t worry I won’t keep you guys from work too much. Just some food for inbetween. There is enough for you too.”’  
  
“I believe you know exactly what I meant Won, but let's talk about this some other time.”

Hyungwon felt the panic in his chest spike at the words, thinking of spending more time alone with Hobi, being confronted with thoughts he didn't feel comfortable with yet. He was too afraid of fucking this up for Hoseok by saying too much or sputtering senseless bullshit as he kept doing.

“Let’s just eat already,” he whispered, leaving the elevator in quick steps, hoping to have Hoseok around and thereby not be confronted with such questions.  
  
“He knows that you’re coming right?” Hobi smiled and knocked at the door, pushing it open.

_FUCK. Hope that he read your messages Hyungwon, otherwise everything he ever thought will be on his face and all your denial will be for nothing._

Walking in quickly Hyungwon lifted up the bag of Ramyeon, begging his face to do as he wished and appear relaxed and sassy.  
  
“Up for some lunch since you were probably about to skip it?” he asked, throwing himself on a very differently equipped couch on the side and frowning at it being not even remotely as comfortable as Hoseok’s. Familiarity would have made it much easier for him to concentrate and not lose himself, surrounded by Hoseok and a man he previously crushed on.  
  
Hoseok jumped up as Hyungwon walked in. “Fuck I didn’t read your messages. I’m so happy you came. I-” Until he saw Hobi walking in after him, apparently. Hyungwon panicked immediately, afraid that Hoseok had revealed too much. Breathing hurt and he talked faster than his brain was able to process.

“Calm your happiness and eat. I know you love Ramyeon, but don’t need to explode because of that,” Hyungwon elaborated, stuttering just at the beginning and forcing something mildly resembling a grin. Maybe it would look more like a Ramyeon obsession than an infatuation with Hyungwon himself. The lawyer couldn't admit it yet, not the way Hobi did.  
  
“Wow, I had never thought I’ll experience you liking someone more than Ramyeon,” Hobi chuckled. “What about me? I brought you coffee after you hyperventilated at my talent.” The black haired dancer grinned brightly, which granted him Hoseok’s attention. The producer kept staring back and forth between the two men, Hobi sitting down next to Hoseok’s chair demonstratively, placing the coffee cup on his desk.

_That little shit._

The lawyer couldn't help feeling anger rise at their proximity, but remembered his own decision to keep Hoseok’s and his relationship undisclosed. Hyungwon had to deal with what he had started and if he wanted everyone to think that he was a friend then he had to act like it.  
  
“Thanks Hobi, you met on the way? Hyungwon wanted to visit but I didn’t look at my phone so I didn’t tell you, sorry.” Hobi’s face turned into a fucking sun at those words, basking in his attention. An invisible dagger plunged into his chest but Hyungwon ignored it, unable to think and reminding himself that denial had been his own action of choice.

“That’s okay Hoseok. We were busy, so it’s understandable.” Hyungwon clenched his right hand into a fist at the words, resolutions forgotten again. Hobi was melting at Hoseok showing him affection and the other man was obvlious as fuck, saying things that sounded like he had had the time of his life working on the track, completely ignoring Hyungwon.

 _But that’s exactly what he did Hyungwon. Get your head out of your ass and pay attention._  
_  
_ What are you even doing here?

“I brought enough Ramyeon for everyone,” he said carefully, crossing his legs and readjusting his coat. He shouldn’t have come.  
  
Hoseok sat next to him on the couch, smiling. “Thank you, you know exactly what I like. But are you even hungry after the omelette-” His words got stuck in his throat and he started coughing.

_Hoseok, what have you done?_

Hyungwon's face blanched, mind empty except for the clear vision of Hoseok’s own shocked face in front of him. He had to fix this somehow. Immediately.  
  
“I kinda failed at defreezing it. Where the fuck did you get such an idea anyway? So I kinda gave up and didn’t eat all that much,” he countered, brainlessly. Again.  
  
He was proud of how neutral and in character he kept his expression, not involved at all and definitely not in love.

 _Just a friend bringing lunch._  
  
Hobi observed the whole scene swaying from right to left on his chair, head tilted to the side, as if watching an unbelievable scene from a bad movie. Hyungwon wanted to engage him in conversation quickly to avoid too many correct thoughts developing in his brain, afraid of the consequences.  
  
“What kind of Ramyeon do you like Hobi? Is it still the seafood one?”  
  
“Smooth Hyungwon. Yup. Why, did you buy one thinking about me?” The dancer smiled. How could he smile all the time? Hyungwon would’ve had a facial muscle cramp by now. Luckily he had just grabbed every type of Ramyeon there was to just give Hoseok more choices for his afternoon Ramyeon buffet. Playing with his hands he hoped that his ability to lie hadn't gone rusty.

“Yeah, I knew that you were here after all. Remember I picked up the phone last time?” he asked and stood up, checking the electric kettle, which was standing on one of three black shelves, luckily also connected properly. His hands were shivering a little but the two other men in the room couldn’t see it from where they were sitting.  
  
Hoseok’s facial expressions went places, Hobi narrowed his eyes and a huge grin spread over his face.  
  
“So you did stay over at Hoseok’s place.” Hobi spoke those words as if it was nothing special, but the producer’s face was a picture painted by Gustav Klimt. Pretty, realistic, covered in gold so every-fucking-body could see the actual motive. Panicking Hyungwon just continued distracting them. This time with needing a sink.

“I didn’t. Is there a sink somewhere, Hoseok?”

It was the truth though. Hoseok stayed over at his place and even if it wouldn’t have been true Hyungwon had to say something to save the situation. He didn't want Hoseok to be uncomfortable around both of them. His fingers tingled at the yearning to touch the producer and calm him down. But remembering the taxi driver and her interest in Hoseok’s love life he didn't dare and focused on the process of making Ramyeon.  
“Fuck this. I’ll get the water.” Hoseok stood up and took the electric kettle with him, closing the door and leaving both men behind. Why would Hoseok leave him alone with Hobi? Hyungwon had no fucking clue how to behave except for panicking and saying random bullshit that came to his mind, denying everything.  
  
“Wow the shitshow is no joke.” Hobi started laughing like a maniac, not able to calm himself down. “This is better than any movie you two. Did you fight or something? What's going on?”

Hyungwon didn’t know what to say. Hobi was obviously aware that something was off and the lawyer was scared of the real reason coming to him without any further hints. He had to bring this into order somehow. Fuck.

“Hoseok is hilarious with his tendency to run when feeling uncomfortable. You can imagine that working on the case was also difficult.” The lawyer grinned fakely and held the Ramyeon cup under Hobi’s nose. “This one good?” he attempted to distract again.  
  
“Mh perfect. You sure you didn't fight? Hoseok looked as if a volcano erupted on your face.” Hobi took the package and put it on the table, pulling the usb-stick out of Hoseok’s notebook and placing it back in the pocket of his jeans.

_Shit. Hobi is fucking right and there is nothing you can say._

Hyungwon looked away quickly, picking up the cups and arranging them according to their seating positions, hiding his facial expression to try to calm his irregular pants. Turning back to Hobi and not wanting him to see a chance in Hoseok and him arguing about something he asked back.  
  
“What? Why would we argue?”

 _Sure, just pretend that you never argue because you are oh so happy Hyungwon. One of you had never been in a same sex relationship and the other had never been gay. Fucking perfect._  
  
“Mh as you say. You seem uncomfortable talking about a lot of stuff recently. Where did sassy Chae go?”

_Sassy Chae is panicking and trying to keep his fucking life together._

“I just realized that not everybody needs to be concerned with my personal matters. Why are you so interested?” The waiting for water took way longer than it should have. Hyungwon really didn’t want to continue this conversation. Whatever Hobi’s reason for asking all of this was, the lawyer didn’t want to answer.

He just wanted the dancer to be gone and be able to focus on Hoseok again. Hoseok and whatever their complicated relationship was, preferably away from other people and just among themselves.  
  
Hobi shot a finger gun at him.

“You know me don't you? I'm just super curious and you were always willing to talk about stuff like that, that's why I'm surprised.”

Hyungwon forced himself to remember what he had been like before, but high school was years ago and although he had never cared about conversation topics Hobi’s and his relationship had paused for too long to continue where they left off.

“But we also knew each other better Hobi. Years passed. How can you be so sure that I didn’t change even though you stayed the same? Everyone always thought that you were soft, but you easily fucked them up, literally. It’s still that way, isn’t it?”

“I’m not the same,” Hobi whispered getting strangely serious. Hyungwon couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable at the comment. Serious Hobi was a little intimidating and his words sounded too much like a confession to be treated as additional information. The lawyer’s hands started playing with the fabric of his jeans, mind foggy and unconcentrated. He didn’t want to have this conversation.

Interrupting his thoughts the dancer just continued.

“There is a lot that I regret, but you can't just always regret and do nothing. That's why I'm here.” Hobi fumbled with the paper on the table, folding and unfolding it repeatedly.

Hyungwon was curious but at the same time he was afraid to ask. Did he really want to know why Hobi came and looked for Hoseok again? He did, but he was also scared of knowing for sure, because no matter what the reason was he felt terribly sure that he wouldn’t like it. So he did the only thing he was capable of and changed the topic, as always when he was scared and couldn’t act like a reasonable human being.

“And Hoseok? Did he change? Or was he also forgetting stuff before, not doing what you tell him to, fucking random women while one already threatened to publish a pic of his dick?” Hyungwon had no idea where all those facts from his encounters with Hoseok came from, but he needed something distracting and informative that Hobi might not have known and the words just spilled without any control.  
  
“What the fuck?” Hoseok came back and eyed both of them, the uncomfortable situation was written all over his face.

_Hyungwon, what are you even doing?_

“Oh is that so? I don't know whether Hoseok wants me to tell you how he was back then.” Hobi turned around facing Hoseok with a meaningful smile on his lips. It looked as if there had been something special and Hyungwon couldn’t help the jealousy lashing out inside his head, wanting to hurt Hobi somehow to prove that he also had something extraordinary.

“He definitely didn’t let people into his studio apparently,” he pointed out, unable to stop himself and wishing he could take it back. Why would he say that? It was such a childish thing to do, proving that he also had something to hold against the man in front of him.

_Just that he was way closer than you are Hyungwon. What makes you think that you can compete?_

“Well he still doesn't. As if there's something special about it. But I respect that of course.” The dancer nodded in Hoseok’s direction. Hyungwon struggled to swallow down the bad taste in his mouth, fighting the anger at Hobi devaluing the fact that the lawyer was the only person to ever set foot in Hoseok’s studio.  
  
“Are you done talking about me as if I'm not there?” Hoseok seemed mad and ripped Hyungwon out of the conversation. He had forgotten that the producer returned from his errand, holding the kettle with water. Walking over to Hobi, Hoseok picked up a piece of paper on the table. He sat down across the dancer and waved with the unfolded page in front of Hobi’s face.  
  
“What is this Jung Hoseok? Why are you even here if you are able to write stuff like that? I should go to you for help and not the other way around.” Hoseok kept staring, while Hobi’s face turned into the sun on a bright summer day again.  
  
_Calm down Hyungwon, this doesn’t have to mean anything. They were friends, they probably got along well. Had a lot of things in common._

_Unlike you and Hoseok._

It felt like the first time he had met Hoseok, a wall that was good at implicit insults and ignoring. Hyungwon stood up when he heard the click of the kettle and filled the Ramyeon cups, like a housewife and feeling terribly out of place. The two of them were perfectly fine without him around to ruin the atmosphere. Panicking at every word and not knowing what to do with himself he blurted a poor excuse to just disappear.

“Don’t let yourself be disturbed. I’ll just inhale my noodles and be off,” he said with bite, putting two cups down in front of Hobi and Hoseok, forcing his emotions to stay undetected. He was hurt, but wasn’t going to let anyone find out.

“Feel free to just spend your time with Hobi.”

 _Hyungwon you idiot, don’t sound so fucking jealous. Hoseok hadn’t done anything for you to be so angry at him._  
  
“You.” Hoseok turned around and basically burned him down with his gaze. “Come out.” The producer stood up and left the room, holding the door waiting until Hyungwon followed. A cold feeling moved down the lawyer’s neck, sinking along his back and spreading in his chest.

Fuck, he fucked up. Even if he had meant well he had fucked up by panicking and not thinking about his actions. He slowly followed Hoseok, letting the other man close the door behind them. Shit, he had never been so happy that those rooms were soundproof.

“I’m sorry, Hoseok,” he muttered even before the other man could say anything.  
  
Hoseok walked up the stairs towards his studio, not looking back whether Hyungwon was following or not. Not waiting around he tailed him quickly, cold feeling transforming into full blown dread.  
  
_Shit, you fucked up._

He was such an idiot. He had wanted to help Hoseok by keeping everything secret and not endangering his career and here he was hurting him again like a selfish asshole. When the door of the familiar room closed behind them, Hoseok moved towards him so fast, that his face was mere centimeters away from Hyungwon’s in what felt like a second.  
  
“What the flying fuck are you doing Hyungwon? Why are you like this?” he hissed, breath brushing against skin. Hyungwon swallowed, hands rising to rest on Hoseok’s chest.

_Shit, what are you doing?_

“I don’t fucking know Hoseok. I just, I don’t know!” Hyungwon exploded, trying to formulate a clear thought but unable to do so, stress from the previous confrontation finally crashing down on him.  
  
“I just know that you are being so risky, even considering seeing me and then there is Hobi being so fucking sure about his sexuality and on the other hand there is me again not knowing shit and why would you even go for something complicated, when it could be so easy and nice and music all over the place and all those good things in one person, instead of a mess like me.” Hyungwon coughed from the onslaught of thoughts moving directly to his mouth, hands turning into fists on Hoseok’s shirt and holding on for dear life.  
  
It was as if Hoseok had taken a mask down, every expression wiped from his face.  
  
“What? What are you talking about. Explain it so I can understand.” The other man looked more worried than angry.

Hyungwon’s brain was too much of a mess to put everything into a clear thought, so he just buried his face in Hoseok’s shoulder and breathed in his scent to calm himself down, at least a little, before answering.

“I just don’t understand why you go and make everything so hard for yourself when you could have someone who shares your interests and knows what he wants instead of a complete emotional mess like me. I know fucking nothing Hoseok. Just that I want you and I’m afraid Hobi will take you away. He knows everything already and doesn’t need time to get used to the thought. The two of you are so calm around each other, talking and enjoying what you do. Fuck I don’t think I can compete with that.” Hyungwon didn’t know whether that made more sense, but he was unable to formulate a clear thought without being fucking terrified of Hoseok realizing that he was right.

_It’s just a matter of time until he drops your indecisive ass Hyungwon._

“Fuck, I love you Hoseok. Please don’t leave me just because I’m not confident about this yet. Give me some time, I’ll try harder, I’ll-” Unable to continue Hyungwon swallowed, eyes closing forcefully and head almost bursting at the pain that spread down into his neck and chest. Breathing heavily he swallowed again, realizing what a complete and selfish ass he was being.  
  
“I’m sorry. I can’t force you to stay with me.”  
  
A warm hand reached for his cheek, stroking up and down, fingers cupping his jaw. Hoseok kissed his lips softly and leaned back, trying to meet his gaze.  
  
“You know how I told you, that I’d only leave if you tell me to? Actually I’m not even sure about that. I’d probably be on my knees begging until you have pity with me,” the other man whispered, his voice unstable. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize. I’m in so deep, that I can’t think about anything else. I know I’m being selfish but my thoughts just circle around you being next to me. I’m an idiot.” Hoseok exhaled.

Hyungwon wanted to laugh because now Hoseok was the one not making any sense. How could he always push the blame on himself like that?  
  
“How are you being selfish? I’m the one who’s constantly forcing you to deal with my problems. Not considering the fact that you have also never experienced a situation like this before. How the hell are we supposed to do this? I’m scared of telling people Hoseok.” Hyungwon finally looked up, trying to find confirmation in Hoseok’s eyes.  
  
“Don’t tell other people then.” the other man smiled softly. “It’s none of their business and it’s not something I expect of you. I will go with whatever you decide is the best.” Soft fingers stroked his sides in a reassuring gesture.” I’ll do absolutely everything possible to make it work,” he added.  
  
How could someone be that selfless and not care about the person they loved openly denying their involvement? Hyungwon felt emotional again, chest tight and eyes burning, hands stroking Hoseok’s sides slowly.

“But won’t that hurt you?” he asked carefully. How could it not? Hoseok would have to pretend that Hyungwon was just a friend, just because the lawyer couldn’t deal with the fact that they weren’t.

 _But you aren’t lying to him. You really can’t tell anyone. Partially for his own sake._  
  
“I-I just think being next to you is enough. Let’s have a talk about that later.” Hoseok’s face was pale, hands hanging down. He went to the door and put on an obviously fake smile. “Let’s go, we can’t let Hobi know, can we?” He sounded unusually sarcastic, went out and held the door in place for Hyungwon to follow.

_He’s pretending to be okay for you. What are you even doing?_

Smiling back slowly Hyungwon walked over to Hoseok and followed him towards the other studio, feeling more calm about seeing Hobi but no less terrified about the relationship with Hoseok. He needed to decide for himself, preferably quickly unless he wanted Hoseok to float in an undefined limbo of possibilities.  
  
“I’m sorry Hoseok,” he whispered quietly when they almost reached the door.  
  
“Don’t be,” Hoseok replied without turning around and opened the door. Hyungwon’s gaze fell on Hobi, who was playing a beat on Hoseok’s computer. The dancer turned around and smiled.  
  
“You’re back. The Ramyeon is ready. It almost got soggy as fuck during your absence.”

Hyungwon smiled carefully and walked over to his cup, pushing all his resources into pretending that everything was okay.  
  
“That’s one damn nice beat,” he remarked and grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the back. He dug in and slurped the first portion into his mouth, grateful that he hadn’t touched them until they were at least reasonably tempered. Still he couldn’t really taste anything, mind too occupied with Hoseok and the way he behaved.  
  
The producer took one cup and ate the noodles without saying a word, while Hobi kept looking in his direction, not breaking eye contact. Hoseok was doing shitty job at seeming okay and as if everything was fine between them.

Worried that the other man might be confronted for his behaviour Hyungwon tried to change the topic and convince Hobi to finally eat instead of staring holes into Hoseok’s face.  
  
“Don’t you want to eat? I bought the good stuff. Not the cheap shit we used to eat after dance practise.”

 _Good job Hyungwon, just comment lightly and curse like you usually do and maybe Hoseok will also be distracted from the fact that you are ashamed of him. You asshole._  
  
“Did you slap Hoseok or something? He looks like he’ll have balls for breakfast. In the bad way.” Hobi turned to face Hyungwon, grabbing a cup and stuffing his mouth with noodles. Hoseok just kept chewing on his own, until he finished most of the portion.  
  
“Hobi, I don’t think I’ll work more today. Let’s postpone it to tomorrow, same time.” Hoseok turned to Hobi pointing at the piece of paper. “Please reconsider whether you really want me to work on it with you. I’m genuinely shaken by this. This is...just crazy. Think about it again okay?” He smiled softly and dipped his chopsticks in for some more noodles.  
  
Hobi smiled in a way Hyungwon hadn't seen before, placing his ramyeon on the table. “Sure, tomorrow at 10, here right? You better have some nice ideas for the beat by then,” he answered, standing up from his chair. “And it has to be you. I told you. There’s nothing to think about.” The dancer stood up and grabbed his bag. “See you tomorrow then?” He took a sip of his cold coffee and nodded in Hyungwon’s direction. “See you around Hyungwon. Call me up and let’s dance again some time.”

“I'd love to,” Hyungwon murmured, head down and watching noodles slipping off his chopsticks. The goodbye was rather sudden and the lawyer wasn't sure if it could be defined as inconspicuous. As soon as the door closed he looked up, watching the way Hoseok finished the last bit of his cup.

“Do you think he's fine with you throwing him out so suddenly?”  
  
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Hoseok commented quietly. It was clear that he was still pretending to be okay, the expression in his eyes contrasting with his smile.

“I'm sure it’ll be fine Hoseok. I just need time to get used to the thought.” Hyungwon wanted to reassure Hoseok somehow although he wasn't sure whether he could really promise that. He'd _have to be_ fine in the end, since there was no way that he could let Hoseok leave. Not before figuring out what he wanted from this.

Sitting a few meters apart from the other man Hyungwon wanted to stand up and hug him, let go in his arms and forget everything but he wasn't sure he could.

_You're in love with him Hyungwon. It's not that simple anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please feel free to comment and tell us what you think! 
> 
> Hyungwon and Hoseok are really struggling to make it work, aren't they?
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I kind of hope that Hoseok would meet someone who really cares about him."

Sucking in the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans, Hoseok leaned against the kitchen counter and tapped a 4/4 rhythm on the marmour surface, something he thought would fit to Hobi’s song. They were working on it for the past five days. He couldn’t believe it was already Thursday but he also couldn’t believe they were that productive. He took a sip of the hot liquid that burned his tongue slightly, but not severe enough to stop drinking.    
  
Hobi was extremely talented, that was not arguable. His thoughts shot fast like comets and every input from Hoseok produced an even better output in Hobi, outcomes joining forces in a mind blowing result of their creative process. He didn’t want to admit it at first, but working with his previous crush had been much easier than he thought. They were on the same wavelength. He could imagine being really good friends with Hobi, hanging out, making music together. Maybe even going out dancing, together with Hyungwon.    
  
_ Yes, only that you wouldn’t be able to take him because he doesn’t want people to know, and you’re obvious as fuck _ .    
  
He kept thinking about the other man’s words over and over again. It kept accompanying him while making music, while showering, while eating, driving and resting, every word going in and out of his perception, leaving a constant trace, getting more and more bitter with every run.    
  
Hyungwon didn’t want others to know about their relationship. He had told Hoseok he was uncomfortable, feeling uneasy talking about it or showing his affection. He had acted perfectly fine, pretending to be his ‘friend’ bringing ramyeon. 

_ He should’ve gotten an oscar as best actor for the main role in the movie: I’m not fucking involved with Shin Hoseok. Can’t you fucking see? _   
  
Relationships were difficult, of course they were, Hoseok knew that. The question was whether they had one in the first place? Hoseok wasn’t sure about it but he also didn’t feel like talking to Hyungwon regarding this topic. He was afraid he would say something, something that he kept rested deep inside of him, buried and hidden, not coming up to the surface unless he lost his shit.    
  
_ This Hoseok, is the reason why you better stay away from triggers. _

He picked clothes for the day, trying to get something comfortable, something that he could perfectly meet Hobi in and maybe get a coffee in the meantime, preferably without gaining attention. The song Kihyun was pestering him about had come out and became a huge hit, so people were very attentive towards his person. Although he was in the main credits it was Kihyun who thought it would be only fair if he talked about Hoseok being a genius on television repeatedly.

Namjoon had successfully blocked all the interview requests and inquiries, so that Hoseok could live a normal life without being bothered too much. He remembered his wish to call the man to thank him for his constant efforts, but they talked mostly over emails and texts. He picked up his phone and typed with his right hand, while taking the last gulp of his coffee.

‘Namjoon. You know I love you right? I can run around the city enjoying my life in peace because of you. Should I increase the contract sum? Hehehehehehe. Let’s eat meat next week, I’m paying.’

After sending it off he got the white shirt with a supreme logo and some blue jeans out, slipping into the clothes, laughing at himself drinking coffee in a bathrobe only, like the main lead in some bad porn movie. Hyungwon would’ve laughed at him, if he was there.

_ But he’s not. Just stop. _

Why did loving hurt so much? Why was it so complicated and didn’t make sense and no matter how hard he tried to make Hyungwon comfortable with the new situation, the other kept being uneasy and denying him?

_ He wasn’t denying you. He said he loved you, you idiot. He also told you not to leave him. _

True. But he had said he didn’t want other people to know. He had also said Hoseok should just take Hobi, whatever that meant. This whole messed up situation was the reason why he had only written Hyungwon sporadically during the week, telling him he was busy working. It was true, but also exaggerated. Hobi and him worked for about seven hours every day and he could have easily met the beautiful lawyer, if he had wanted to.   
  
_ Oh you didn’t want to? _

Hell, he wanted it so much. His whole body was yearning for proximity, in addition to his mind going crazy with all those thoughts, making his life miserable and sad. He had just worked and slept instead of having that ethereal person in his arms, smelling his hair and telling him all those affectionate things Hoseok kept suppressing, because Hyungwon thought it was cringeworthy.

_ What do you want Hoseok? You keep blaming Hyungwon for not wanting something, but what can you offer? _

Shit. He felt so self-conscious suddenly, reminding himself of the fact that they had to talk about all this sooner or later and the question would arise. He would have to answer what he had to offer. He had to come up with something to convince Won that it was going to work. What did he want?   
  
_ Hyungwon.  _

Amazing, he was as far as the lawyer with his thoughts and expectations. He caught himself sitting on the couch stroking the beige leather on the spot Hyungwon had sat last. Like a creepy person. He missed Hyungwon so much. He wanted to call him, to go there, to just sit in front of his door until he came out and crawl on his knees sobbing about his never ending love.    
  
_ Like the pathetic idiot you are. Just use your head, you’re a smart person Hoseok. _ _   
_ _   
_ He wanted Hyungwon. He wanted to be with Hyungwon. He just wished to wake up with him, hug him, make him breakfast and let him comment on his shitty movie taste, on his weird habits and his oblivious personality. He wanted to know stories about people who were annoying him, and he also wanted to know more about his motivation for becoming a lawyer.    
  
_ You want to see him dance, don’t you? _ __   
  
He did. Something in the other man changed completely when he danced. The facial expression was so different, as if he let his soul out, while moving his body to the beat. It was genuinely beautiful. Hoseok could still remember every move and every gaze, while Hyungwon had danced in front of him in the club that night, trying to get the frustration out of his system, moving so gracefully. Those long legs were just made for dancing.   
  
He removed the armchair out of his sight to not get a boner every time he accidentally focused on it. He had promised himself to stop using furniture in his encounters with Won, unless he wanted to end up sitting on the floor because everything was sexually tainted.   
  
He put on Nike shoes and grabbed his bag, closing the door behind himself.    
  
He loved his studio location for the security. There were cameras everywhere and the building had a team of 20 people in the background monitoring that humans who weren’t involved couldn’t even come next to it. It was such a pain in the ass giving them Hyungwon’s picture and asking to make this person suitable for walking in and out without passport control.

_ Yeah, but maybe he doesn’t want to walk in and out, because he doesn’t want to be involved with you.  _   
  
Hoseok gulped down the vomit caused by overflowing self-pity and opened the door. Hobi was already there when he arrived, which surprised him. He sat in front of his laptop and looked over to the dancer with a smirk.    
  
“Well guess who finished the beat today morning while drinking coffee in a bathrobe. Genius-seok!” He started laughing at his own bad joke until he spotted Hobi’s bright grin.    
  
“It better be something I want to tattoo on my eardrum or you’ll be Dumb-seok for that shitty pun of yours.” Hobi slapped his arm and pointed at the speakers to turn them on. Hoseok opened the program and mixed another guitar melody into the almost finished version. Hobi was watching carefully like a pupil, which was extremely cute considering the other man’s usual intimidating, confident self.    
  
After finishing the mixing and adjusting the new melody, Hoseok unplugged the headphones and turned on the finished beat. It sounded so dark and desperate, but he hoped that the dancer would like it. His gaze wandered and was caught in the middle by Hobi’s strangely serious eyes.   
  
“This is it,” he whispered, obviously affected by something that couldn’t have been his small adjustment. “Don’t touch it anymore. I’m going to record over it.” Hobi looked so different, something in his expression changed and Hoseok had no idea what and why. They didn’t see each other for such a long time that he couldn’t say for sure. But seeing it made his insides clench. It must’ve been something he had seen long ago.    
  
“Wow, chill Hobah, you don’t even know how the rap will flow. Try it out first.” Hoseok tried to lighten up the mood but failed, as Hobi pointed outside.    
  
_ He wants to record it on the spot, this crazy fucker _ .    
  
After about two hours of recording the engineers were satisfied and Hobi was smiling like the sun. Hoseok was happy for him, the song seemed to be very meaningful to him.  
  
“I'm still not over the lyrics. How did you think about writing something like that?” he asked when they returned to the studio, spotting the paper that was still lying on Jooheon’s desk.  
  
“I’ll tell you later when it’s out.” Hobi smiled at him and fumbled with his phone. Hoseok took the opportunity to answer Hyungwon’s messages. He would need to see him sooner or later. They needed to talk. The steady vibrating disturbed his flow of thoughts and he spotted Changkyun’s name on the screen.   
  
“Hey kitty, how was your week?” He already laughed because he knew Changkyun was going to kill him for that nickname.   
  
“Shut the fuck up Hoseok, I told you not to call me that. How is the thing with Hobi going?” He calmed down towards the end of the sentence. Hoseok told him it was fine and he finally came to the point of the call, after spitting bullshit about science being the worst domaine to work in and how everybody was fucking mental, him excluded. Of course.    
  
“Tomorrow, the Runda Club, you’ll be there. We are all meeting up. It will be lit. I know that it’s not your location, but you know the DJ so you better give him a nice playlist to shake our asses too. Hyungwon can also dance a little, to calm down his annoyed sassy face. I didn’t see you guys for ages. Let’s celebrate the fact that Kihyun is only popular because of you.” Changkyun started laughing his ass off after mentioning Kihyun. They bickered so much it was hilarious.   
  
“Did you hear his voice? Someone shoved perfection down his throat. I’m coming either way, the week was packed.” Hoseok answered shortly and hung up, looking at Hobi answering messages on his phone.    
  
Somehow a feeling overcame Hoseok that he wasn’t asking the right questions at the right time. It was like this with Hyungwon and it was the same with Hobi. Even if he asked nobody gave proper answers, like his curiosity about those crazy lyrics. 

Hoseok wanted to know since the first moment, what Hobi’s motivation was to write and be able to write something like that, but the other man just answered in stupid puns or kept changing the topic. He turned Hobi’s chair around and stared at the pair of black eyes, narrowing his gaze.   
  
“You tell me what your song is about Jung Hoseok. I was here working on it with you for the past five days so you better spit it out. Now.” His voice sounded low and rough, but it was perfect for that kind of question as Hobi’s eyes widened and his hands sank into the armrests.    
  
_ Why do you always have to order people around in a rough tone for them to listen? _ _   
_ _   
_ “It’s a song that I wrote after you left,” the dancer whispered barely audible. Hoseok wanted to build a fucking time capsule and go a minute back to shut his useless mouth. Why did he even ask if the other didn’t want to talk about it?   
  
_ Well now you have to talk about this. Great Job. Fuck. _ _   
_ _   
_ “I don’t even know where to start. First of all why? Did I do something that upset you? Why did you tell me to work on it then? It’s mad!” Hoseok started massaging his right temple, fingers digging into the skin, drawing circles, while Hobi sighed, as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Something told him this was going places he didn’t want to visit. Not now.    
  
_ The weight from Hobi’s shoulders will not disappear Hoseok, it will hit your face like a wrecking ball.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Why? Because you just left Hoseok. You never asked why I didn’t call you, you never showed interest in why this whole thing broke apart in the first place. You just took my fucking heart and stepped on it with those military boots you like to wear. You just fucked off.”    
  
_ Oh no.  _   
  
It was not the topic he wanted to talk about with Hobi. It was the topic he wanted to bury somewhere deep inside and never mention again. He tried to come up with a sufficient answer but nothing appeared. Everything sounded like an excuse and those were pathetic.    
  
“I liked you. You were straight. The track was finished, I went back to NY. As simple as that. Don’t tell me that I left. You didn’t call and didn’t write. How was I supposed to know what you felt?” He just went with the truth, it was the easiest one. He should practice being honest, at least for Hyungwon’s sake.   
  
“You didn’t change did you? You’re still as selfish and cowardly as you were back then. Assuming things and never confirming, afraid it would be something that might hurt you. Hoseok I was never in love with a man before. It was huge for me. I was suffering and I thought I was going to die because I didn’t want anything besides you. Do you even have an idea about how I felt when those weeks passed and I asked around how you were because I was wondering? And they told me you left.” Hoseok felt his insides burning, tears were rolling down Hobi’s cheeks and he had no fucking clue what to say to make it better.   
  
_ He is crying because you were an asshole. You are an asshole. You almost did the same with Hyungwon. _ _   
_ __   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I thought you didn’t want to be with me. That’s why I left. I felt obsolete between you and your dance crew and all those women and stuff. I just knew it was something you tried out and then dropped.” Hoseok felt the urge to hug the other man, but something inside of him prevented it successfully.    
  
Hobi looked up, eyes wet from the tears and stared for almost half a minute, not moving a single muscle. Removing his gaze he grabbed his bag in a hurry and walked through the door. Hoseok ran after him. 

He was at fault. He had to clear this up once and for good. He managed to catch him in the elevator, the doors closed and they stared at each other, standing on opposite sides breathing heavily from running.    
  
“Why are you here Hobi? It was two years ago. Why are you like this now?” Hoseok managed to press out, not sure what he wanted to do with the answer once he’d get it. There was only one floor left and he hoped that Hobi would tell him the reason before the door opened and he could run away.    
  
“Are you stupid Hoseok? It’s simple really.” Hobi smiled and walked towards him. “I really loved you back then.” He stopped mere centimeters in front of him. “And I still love you now.” 

Hoseok’s vision became blurry as the other man leaned in and pressed his lips onto Hoseok’s, not leaving him any room to think or breathe. The only thing he could perceive was the dancer pressing his body closer which triggered a siren.   
  
He placed a flat hand against the dancer’s chest, thanking genetics and regular workouts for his strength, pushing him away while staring like a mental person. Hobi wore a bitter smile and crossed his arms.   
  
Only then did he realize that they had already reached the ground floor and a person was standing in front of the elevator, waiting to get in.   
  


***   
  


  
The loud noise of furious typing filled out the spacious office. Hyungwon's long fingers were moving rhythmically over the keyboard, writing an answer for a client whose child accidentally subscribed to a hard-core porn site and was forced to pay 300 dollars. Hyungwon doubted that a five year old was capable of doing that, but the parents were using it successfully to free themselves from blame. The lawyer didn't mind since it was the easiest way to solve it and he worked with what he was told. Sites like that were easily intimidated by formal responses.

His eyes kept slipping from the screen in front of him to his mobile phone, lying inconspicuously on the side and not fucking vibrating although it should’ve. Hoseok had barely talked to him the past four days, arguing that he was busy and couldn't meet up, unable to write long messages and in general not capable of answering in time. It hurt. Especially since Hyungwon knew that he had been spending all that time with Hobi, working on the track.

_ It's your fault Hyungwon. You're the one who scared him off by saying you can't admit to anybody that you like him. Why would he stay around? _   


Guilt sank into his limbs, filling them out towards the fingertips and toes and burning everything in its wake. Hoseok had been very upset although he pretended to be fine with Hyungwon’s decision. His smile had been the same painful one he had graced him with before. 

Even on Sunday the producer had cut their meeting short, going home and being tired although he had seemed very awake and glad when Hyungwon had just arrived. It didn't make any sense because right then Hoseok had said he wanted to work on their relationship, but how was ditching Hyungwon with all his might helpful? 

Distracted by his frustrations Hyungwon dropped his hands from the keyboard and threw his head back, massaging his temples and lacking the motivation to occupy himself even further with work. The whole week he had drowned in it, attempting to motivate Hoseok to meet him, the other just rejecting his efforts every time. 

It was infuriating. Hyungwon felt guilty for hurting Hoseok by wanting to keep their involvement secret, but he also couldn't help his anger. The two of them were supposed to be honest with each other. If Hoseok had a problem he had to tell Hyungwon and they would’ve talked about it. If it was impossible for the producer to keep the secret because it hurt him too much then Hyungwon would’ve adjusted and tried to find a solution.

The emotions were a confusing mixture. Guilt at what he had said, anger at Hoseok for reacting with distance and fear because the other man had spent all his time with Hobi instead. What was Hyungwon supposed to think? Of course it looked like Hoseok prefered to be with Hobi! 

The lawyer huffed loudly and vigorously massaged his neck and head, muscles tense from sitting in his office for the whole day. 

Another glance at his phone was just as depressing as the last and he considered going home, leaving the office before 10PM for once without meeting Hoseok that day. Shit Hyungwon missed him. He missed him a lot. He constantly wanted to write to him about annoying things that happened or about that five year old that said he wanted him to be his dad on the street, or how he was reminded of Hoseok because he saw the same bunny plushie that the other man had on his bag. 

_ Fuck, you need to do something Hyungwon. You can't always wait for Hoseok to do everything. You were the one who jumped him before so you can also take a step when it's about a conflict.  _

But before he was able to go to Hoseok’s apartment he needed to get his thoughts straight. What was he going to say? Could he be sure that Hoseok wasn’t genuinely busy? A short laugh escaped him at the thought. He had seen Hoseok when he was extremely busy and still he had received regular messages instead of the silent treatment he had to endure now. 

A warm hand on his forehead gave him the shock of his life, body jerking forward and grabbing it in reflex. “Oh my god I'm sorry Mr. Chae,” Alice exclaimed, eyes wide and obviously scared because of Hyungwon's fast reaction. “You didn't hear me come in and seemed a little out of it so I wanted to make sure that you are alright.”

Hyungwon smiled reassuringly, letting go of her hand. “I was just in thought. What are you still doing here? It's late.” His secretary smiled and nodded towards a big pile of documents that Hyungwon put to the side for her to take care of. 

“I just wanted to finish most of this before I leave, so I stayed behind. I'll take the subway in a bit.”

Hyungwon frowned at that. He had no idea where she lived but leaving Manhattan at 10:30PM as a young women, fresh out of college didn't sound like a good idea.    
  
“Is anyone picking you up?”

Surprised Alice shook her head, taking a look at her watch.    
  
“Oh,” she commented realising how late it had gotten. Hyungwon was also able to easily drown in work like that. Ignoring his phone and just throwing it into his pocket he grabbed his coat and gestured for Alice to follow him. He thought of dropping her off wherever she needed to be and going home. 

When they arrived at his car Alice began shaking her head furiously, looking nervous.    
  
“You don't have to drive me Mr. Chae, please don't bother. I know how busy you are.” She was cute with the way she kept shaking her head and waving her arms around in front of her face. Ignorant of her antics he opened the passenger seat door and waited for her to climb in. Sighing in resignation at his silence she climbed in. 

Hyungwon easily slid into the driver's seat and wondered why she was strictly staring outside although it was dark. It reminded him a little bit of Hoseok when he cock blocked him and stole him away in his car. 

_ Just hope that she doesn't like you Hyungwon.  _   


Her apartment was at the other side of the city and Hyungwon was glad that he could get a bit more time away from his thoughts, busy running errands and dropping off people. Alice stayed quiet most of the time, staring ahead and only asking work related questions if she dared to open her mouth at all. Hyungwon liked her professionalism and the effort she put into it although the situation made her uncomfortable. 

Dropping her off he got out of the car, remembering his manners and opening the door on her side. The neighbourhood looked strangely familiar, he could have sworn that he had seen the simple house next to his secretary's before. But where?

_ It's Changkyun's house you idiot. You've been here so rarely that you don't even realise.  _

Feeling impossibly dumb he said farewell to Alice, reminding her that tomorrow was Thursday and she could leave earlier and walked over to Changkyun's door as soon as she disappeared inside. He hadn't seen his friend for ages, not since he rang at his door when Hoseok and him had been about to get it on in the kitchen. 

_ Your friends have an amazing talent to be involved in your sex life Hyungwon.  _   


Not hesitating any further he rang the bell. Maybe talking to Changkyun would do him some good. It helped before after all. 

Changkyun opened the door, looking like the kid from home alone only in adult, holding a huge package of chips in his hands, staring as if he saw a ghost. 

“Are you here to sue me?” he proclaimed while talking with his mouth full of chips. Hyungwon couldn't help but smile. He had missed Changkyun, everything about him was hilarious although his eating habits were rather questionable. 

“Not today my dear serial offender,” he said and walked past Changkyun, arriving at the kitchen and getting himself a glass of water. The place was rather messy and Changkyun must have been enjoying an evening alone. “Am I disturbing you? I was in the area and decided to pop by. Not like I would care if I do, but I'm curious.” He grinned. 

“If I came out with a condom over my dick, you would've still come in. Just make yourself comfortable. I'm surprised you still know where I live. Why do you even have friends in the first place?” The other man laughed and stuffed another portion in his mouth. Hyungwon couldn’t help but look disgusted at the image of Changkyun with a condom on his dick. 

“Ew,” he commented and reached over to take a chip from Changkyun’s package, sliding it into his mouth carefully. “I was kinda busy with my relationship issues I guess. I miss you though, although you’re an annoying brat and look like Kevin Home Alone.” Hyungwon couldn’t say anything nice to Changkyun without throwing an insult right after. It was like an implicit rule. Actually he had wanted to get his thoughts straight before seeing Hoseok, deciding what he wanted to tell him. However Changkyun might be a much bigger help with that than previously assumed. “Actually, how is Hoseok?”

_ Smooth Hyungwon. It will be obvious that something is up if you ask that. Why don’t you just read him an essay about your feelings already? _

He genuinely considered doing that. After all he needed to decide quickly before Hoseok jumped on the Hobi train because of Hyungwon’s indecisive ass.

“What? You said you had relationship issues and I automatically assumed you were talking about Hoseok but then you ask me how he's doing? Shouldn't you know best of us all?” Changkyuns eyes narrowed and he walked over to something that looked like an alcohol cupboard, bottles over bottles standing messily next to each other. 

_ Now you know why Hoseok and him are friends Hyungwon. Common love for alcoholic beverages and its questionable power in solving conflicts. _

Hyungwon fucked his pride and just rolled out with the facts.    
  
“I have relationship issues with Hoseok and because of that I do not know how he’s doing. Also, no thank you I don’t want any alcohol. I’ll just get too loose and sleep.” Walking over to a chair in the kitchen he sat down and crossed his legs, ready for the onslaught of input.   


“First of all, the alcohol was for me to deal with the stuff you wanted to tell me, so I wouldn't lose my shit and facepalm. You.” he poured some transparent liquid in a simple glass and took a sip waffling over to the table, sitting down. “Second, having relationship issues means you are in a relationship right? Which is already remarkable considering the fact that you're a selfish fuck. Why wouldn't you know how he is? Did you fight?” Changkyun stared at him. 

Hyungwon was amazed by Changkyun’s ability to find the problem within a few seconds.    
  
“First, you’re an alcoholic and second you’re kinda right I guess. The problem is that I’m not really sure what it is that we have, so I don’t want to tell anyone yet and Hoseok is obviously hurt. Unfortunately he has this thing of pretending to be okay so I can’t even adjust my behaviour because he doesn’t give me any feedback. This week he basically ignored me and I want to die Changkyun.” He sank even further into his chair, realizing that he was much more affected by Hoseok not talking to him than he thought. He wanted to run over there and scream at him to talk to him if he had a problem.   


“I would've dropped your ass if I was him. What the fuck? How can you say stuff like that? I told you to get your shit together before coming at him and hurting him like this.” The other man was mad. Obviously. And he was right.

“I know Changkyun. I just panicked because of the Hobi thing and Hoseok is famous. What if people find out? Won’t that fuck his career? Does he even know what he is doing?” Hyungwon spoke quickly, trying to get as many thoughts out of his head as possible and hoped that Changkyun could sort them into something more coherent for him. 

“I’m just afraid of the reactions I’ll get. I panicked and pretended to be his friend around Hobi, so I just kept it up afterwards. I don’t want to hurt Hoseok, but I also want him to tell me if he doesn’t like something. He just takes it all, smiling and then ignores me. What the hell am I supposed to think? He was meeting Hobi all this time. He said that he really wanted to work on this but that’s not how you do it. He always runs away. I hate it.” Frustration kept piling up and Hyungwon clenched his hands into fists.

“You are the one pussying out and Hoseok is the one who complies to your wishes. Don't you know him? He's so obvious, how is he supposed to act as if you're his friend? He can't do that so he stays away.” Changkyun took another sip. “Mhh, so Hobi had enough time alone with him to talk about his feelings. That'll be interesting. Hobi called me a couple of days ago asking about the two of you and telling me he loves Hoseok, as if I'm a fucking relationship hotline. I told him that it's not my business and that I don't want to get involved, but after you told me it all makes sense. You're an idiot Hyungwon. You better hope that Hoseok still likes you after that.“    
  
Hyungwon’s blood ran cold, face paling and terror spreading throughout his chest. He had been right, Hobi was indeed after Hoseok and he was even clear enough about it to confess to Changkyun. The likelihood of him being able to confess to Hoseok as well was high and Hyungwon wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because Hoseok had avoided him, afraid of fucking up because of a stupid request to act like a friend.

“What have I done?”

The image of Hoseok choosing Hobi and leaving him for good burned in his chest like acid, slowly working through the ribcage and the bones, reaching his lungs and his heart. Hyungwon had no fucking time, he had to see Hoseok as soon as possible. He had to tell him the acting doesn’t fucking matter and they should just continue meeting up and being with each other. They could do whatever Hoseok wanted, it didn’t matter. If he wanted to tell people then they would tell people. Whatever Hoseok needed to make this work Hyungwon would do it.

_ You’d do anything so he stays with you Hyungwon. _

“I’m such a selfish asshole. Who the fuck cares who knows? Fuck, what have I done? I need to see him tomorrow and tell him it doesn’t matter.” Hyungwon stared at the ground, fear of losing Hoseok not leaving him alone. “I love him Changkyun. Everyone else can just suck it up and fuck themselves.”

“You know, I'm asking myself why you keep acting like that. Hoseok loves you. You don't want to be with him? Then tell him and stop ripping his heart out so that he can move on with his life. Stop acting as if you're the one who is hurt and confused. Hoseok had been like this much longer than you, but he keeps swallowing down his feelings, trying to make everything to your liking, even if that means stabbing himself in the chest. I'm really sorry to tell you that, but that's what friends are for Hyungwon. I kind of hope that Hoseok would meet someone who really cares about him.”

Hyungwon couldn't breathe, eyes blurry and hands clenching helplessly. Changkyun was right. Of course he was right.

_ Hoseok deserves better than you Hyungwon. Someone who actually cares about his feelings instead of focusing on his own pathetic problems.  _

His eyes stung and he leaned his head back, hoping to make it go away without inducing a second mental breakdown. 

“I’d do anything for him Changkyun. Any-fucking-thing. I've never been like this. I want to stop being such an idiot and make Hoseok happy. What can I do?” he whispered, scared of the answer but willing to step over his shadow if necessary. 

“Really man? You want to know? Should I just move in with you two, so you're able to have a normal relationship? Do you need assistance? You're old enough Hyungwon. I just want you to do me a favour. Stop making Hoseok miserable. Stop hurting him and stop thinking you're the victim because you're not. Go there and be happy if he takes you back like that.” Changkyun sighed after the extensive monologue. “Why can't you be happy that he loves you so much, is it not enough for you?” he added gulping the liquid down in one shot.

Hyungwon blinked, getting rid of the hot liquid blurrying his vision and wiped over his face with his sleeve.    
  
“I’m sorry for pressuring you with this. I guess it is just new for me, independent of Hoseok being a man. I’ll talk to him and beg if I have to. I really love him Changkyun and I hope he still loves me back.” He stood up and filled another glass of water, drinking it quickly.

“I only talk about myself,” he said with a smile. “How are you doing? Except for sitting on a couch, doing nothing and looking like shit.”

“At least I'm not trespassing other people's houses having first world problems and insulting them after getting help.” Changkyun commented. “You come with us on Friday. We're going to the Runda club and everyone will be there. Hoseok too, just make sure to make up with him beforehand. Don't want a weird atmosphere, I just want to have fun.” 

Hyungwon nodded and smiled at the invitation. 

“Insulting is part of our friendship cult. It means that everything is fine and you know it. Concerning the club, yeah I’ll be there and I’ll try to make up with Hoseok beforehand. Maybe I’ll write an essay about what an idiot I was. I’m better in written language after all.” He laughed although he was still scared of Hoseok rejecting him.

“Yeah just dance your apology.” Changkyun chuckled and walked over to the spot where Hyungwon was emptying his glass. The man closed his arms around Hyungwon. “Just try to be happy Won. You both deserve it. It makes me so sad to see you dealing with all those unnecessary problems,” he whispered loosening the hug. Hyungwon just curled his arms around him and pressed him close. He had wanted to hug the other man before, but felt a little weird about it. Now that Changkyun was faster he could enjoy it without it being awkward. 

“Thank you Changkyun, really. But I doubt that dancing the apology would be a good idea. Wouldn’t want Hoseok to sport a boner on the dance floor, would we?” He grinned and let the other man go, leaning against the kitchen counter and smirking at him. Coming here had been a good idea. 

“Oh god. Please don't tell me stuff like that. I won't get the images out of my head. I'm already seriously traumatized by the stuff Minhyuk shoves down my cochlea.” Changkyun shook his head, repeatedly closing his eyes. 

Hyungwon laughed at the scientific terms and was reminded of his last encounter with Minhyuk, if one could even call it that. 

“That dick threw a package of condoms into my apartment like on a garbage pile.”

“Yeah, be happy he didn't throw other stuff I strangely know he's into. Why are you all like this to me? I try to live my life nicely and you're out there forcefully broadening my horizon. I don't want that,” the other man exclaimed, placing his palms in front of his chest. Changkyun was fucking cute, but a beast at heart.

Hyungwon frowned, trying to keep himself from imagining what Minhyuk might be into. 

“Changkyun, why do you know what Minhyuk is into? Or even more relevant.” He paused, collecting his wits and smirking a little. “Do you happen to know what Hoseok is into?”

Changkyun placed his hands over his ears and started screaming random syllables at his face. “Lalallalalaa. Stop, stop asking me. I'm not some kind of lexicon of weird sexual practises, so just let me live my life in peace, argh.” Hyungwon cracked up, bending in half and roaring in laughter, enjoying Changkyun’s desperate facial expressions.

When he was finally able to stop and say more than two words he straightened his back and slapped Changkyun’s shoulder. 

“Even if it’s for science? You love science!”

“Listen, I'm into atoms okay? They don't have weird preferences and don't bother me with their shit. Same with bacteria. That's enough science for me. Why do I have friends like that?” The other man smiled back.

“I won’t keep you from your not-doing-shit evening then and will be on my way. You’ll see how making up went at the club.” Hyungwon grabbed his coat and threw it over his shoulders, finding his scarf belatedly and curling it around his long neck. As a finish he blew Changkyun a kiss and smiled. “Hoseok and me will look like the gods have descended from heaven when we hang out together. Can’t wait.” 

“Yeah if you get your shit together that is,” Changkyun commented and shot a finger gun. 

Smiling at his antics Hyungwon nodded and walked through the door, returning to his car. Tomorrow he would see Hoseok and he would make it work. He would beg if he had to. Unless Hoseok really didn’t love him anymore there was no way in hell that he would get rid of Hyungwon. The lawyer was determined and whatever Hoseok needed, he would get it.

 

__

 

Finishing up the last email of the day Hyungwon grabbed his phone with shaking hands. He kept thinking about talking to Hoseok the whole day, but just like the rest of the week he hadn’t been very responsive. Unless Hyungwon just magically appeared out of nowhere he doubted that he would get to see Hoseok. He opened their basically empty chat and typed out a question, wondering where Hoseok was at the moment and whether he would be done soon.

_ Please don’t bullshit me and say that you will work the whole time. Please. _

Just as expected the answer didn’t come immediately, no matter how long Hyungwon stared at his phone. To not go mental he turned back to his email account and picked out another one to answer. He wasn’t going to leave until he knew where he had to go.

He was going to see Hoseok today, no matter what.

When his phone vibrated Hyungwon jumped from his chair to grab it and check. His fingers were so clammy that he almost dropped it to the ground, Hoseok’s name on the display sending waves of euphoria through him. The producer had answered positively and even requested to be picked up from the studio so they could eat together.

_ Maybe he isn’t as angry as you thought? Even if, you should still apologize and give him fucking everything cause he deserves it Hyungwon. _

The lawyer didn’t even bother replying, just grabbing his coat and packing up his things quickly. When he was ready he was just about to run through the door when he saw Alice stand in the doorway, soft smile on her lips. 

“Good news?”

Hyungwon grinned at her, feeling too excited at Hoseok’s positive response to hide it. 

“Yeah, I’ll be on my way.” 

Shit he was so happy to see Hoseok and couldn’t wait. The inability to think about anything but the other man drove him to the point where he didn’t care anymore what it was. If Hoseok wanted it then Hyungwon was going to do it if it guaranteed Hoseok’s happiness. The lawyer was at his car faster than a usain bolt and on the road even faster, making the right turns without checking because he had already memorized the way.

Parking at Hoseok’s studio he jumped out of the car and calmed himself down. He didn’t want to look too eager either. After all he had to apologize for his ridiculous requests and tell Hoseok everything that was on his mind, begging if necessary. The guard smiled at his appearance, recognizing him immediately. Hyungwon couldn’t help but feel happy and smile back. He was basically a regular already and it cheered him up beyond belief. 

Walking over to the elevator he pressed the button and waited for it to arrive. He couldn’t help the grin on his face and how giddy he felt, moving up and down on his heels, unable to stand still. When the elevator finally arrived he was just about to walk in when he saw two figures occupying it.

“And I still love you now,” Hobi’s voice whispered as he leaned in and pressed his lips to those of another man. Hoseok’s, kissing Hoseok. 

_ Hobi just kissed Hoseok. _

Hyungwon couldn’t breathe, lungs constricting and pain numbing his senses. Looking at the two men in front of him he tried to comprehend what was happening unable to feel anything except for terror and anger that kept rising to the surface. A hand might have just as well punched through his back, grabbed his heart and ripped it out of his ribcage and Hyungwon wouldn't have been able to differentiate the sensation from what he felt at that moment. 

After what could have been an eternity Hoseok pushed Hobi away, staring at the dancer like a mad person. Finally both of them turned to the door, eyes landing on Hyungwon's form. 

“What?” the lawyer couldn’t help asking, voice ice cold and eyes narrowed.

Hoseok’s face was a mess, cheeks red from the contact, mouth opened and eyes widened comically. He turned away from Hyungwon and stared at the dancer. 

“What the fuck was that Hobi?” His low voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Hyungwon couldn't help feeling that it was pretend, just to sound surprised. The dancer smiled shortly. 

“A confession.” He walked out bumping into Hyungwon’s shoulder on his way. 

The lawyer couldn't decide whom he wanted to kill first. He had been ready for everything Hoseok asked of him, just to be with the other man. 

Just to see Hoseok sharing spit with that little piece of shit, apparently. 

Hoseok didn't move. He simply stood there, as if time stopped, staring at his own reflection on the mirrored wall. Hyungwon couldn't believe he stayed still instead of talking to him. Not even an explanation, nothing?

_ That's because he's guilty Hyungwon.  _

“I see you had a great time this past week,” he uttered, voice like a knife and Hoseok jerked at the sound of it. He would deal with Hobi later, his actions were assholish but understandable, Hoseok on the other hand... What the flying fuck did he think he was doing? Even if Hyungwon was afraid of the producer moving on he couldn't just do it without talking to him first.    
  
“What?” Hoseok turned around and stared at him, burning a hole in his face. The expression looked crazy, but it was not guilt. He walked out of the elevator stopping in front of him, the mad stare still in place. 

“Well you were nice enough to grace me with about five messages over the past five days. Happily working on your track and rejecting every offer to meet up. I don't see how that's not you having the time of your life. As I see you even placed a cherry on top.“ Hyungwon glanced in the direction that Hobi disappeared in. He had difficulties to keep his voice cold and not scream at the other man. 

“If you think that not being able to see you makes me happy, you’re fucking delusional. And the thing with Hobi is something I don’t want to talk about.” He turned around and walked slowly towards the exit, leaving Hyungwon behind. 

Hoseok must be fucking kidding him. 

Without a second delay the lawyer walked after him, grabbing his arm forcefully.    
  
“Shut the fuck up Hoseok. You're the one who didn't want to see me. And I'm pretty sure that I fucking deserve to know why the hell you were kissing Hobi in an elevator.“ He hadn't been able to keep his voice level, almost screaming at him and catching the attention of the security guard. Hyungwon couldn't care less. He was hurt and furious. He still wanted to do everything for Hoseok but he needed a fucking explanation.    
  
“You’re pretty obvious for someone who doesn’t want to seem involved with me. Explanation? I’m kind of sad that I even need to explain it, after your comment, but if that helps you keeping your shit together in public. I asked Hobi why the fuck he was acting strange towards me, writing a song about me and shit, and he kiss-raped me in an elevator. And now I feel like vomiting, so please let me go and throw up in peace.” He finished the furious monologue and kept walking out, after loosening the grip on his arm like butter.

Hyungwon couldn't hold on, remembering the reason he was there. He had wanted to apologize for being a selfish asshole and hurting Hoseok with denying their involvement. However, he still hated Hobi for kissing Hoseok like that. The producer’s reaction hadn't been fast enough to seem like an accident. It hurt to see it. 

Pausing for a few more seconds he ran after Hoseok. “Wait, you wanted me to pick you up, so let's go to my fucking car Hoseok. Please.” Hyungwon's voice still sounded strained but he tried. “Let's talk like rational people. I actually came to apologize.”   
  
Hyungwon grabbed the steering wheel as soon as he entered the car and inhaled slowly to not just scream at Hoseok and scare him off. He was apologetic but also so fucking angry at the producer seeing Hobi regularly and letting the confession happen. 

“Why didn't you want to see me this week?” he asked as soon as Hoseok buckled up. He needed to know if Changkyun was right. If the producer had really been avoiding him because he couldn't hide his feelings then Hyungwon was going to apologize and tell him to forget whatever he said because at this point the lawyer was fine with every- fucking-thing. 

_ Except for that shitty elevator kiss. _   
  
The other man looked out of his window, not turning around, mumbling the answer against the glas. 

“I wanted to see you. So fucking badly.”

Hyungwon swallowed again. Hoseok looked so vulnerable and it was difficult to not reach out immediately, hug him to let a smile bloom on his lips. He surrendered and covered the other man's left hand with his own. 

“But?”   
  
“How am I supposed to act as if I’m not involved with you? I have ‘I want Hyungwon’ tattooed on my forehead,” the other man whispered, still not turning around to face him. 

Shit, Changkyun had been right and Hyungwon was a fucking asshole.

_ Fuck.  _

“Oh my god, Hoseok I'm so sorry. I thought that you were uncomfortable with it, but I didn't realize how bad it was. I was just being stupid. Pretending doesn't fucking matter. I don't give a shit who knows as long as you stay with me.” Grasping Hoseok’s hand tighter he leaned his head against the wheel, realizing what a stupid idiot he was. Hobi only had such an opportunity because Hyungwon pussied out for no reason. “As long as you still want me nothing else matters.”   
  
Hoseok turned around, pulling his hand out of Hyungwon’s grip. 

“Why are you being so ignorant? How many times do I have to tell you, that I only want you and I don’t care about anything else. I tell you that I love you and I tell you all those embarrassing things but you keep saying I should just take Hobi and pretend that we’re not involved. What do you want me to do, to make you think that my feelings are enough? Are they even enough? I don’t know what else I should do.” The low voice cracked in the end, desperation and utter disappointment written all over his face. 

Hyungwon wanted to answer but no words left his mouth, head lifted from the wheel and stared at Hoseok, shocked at the outburst. 

“Hoseok, I love you. I really do. I'm just this really selfish and dumb person that needs feedback on his actions. You always let me do everything, hurting you, forcing you to take my absence. I need to know when I'm doing something wrong. Whatever you need to be happy I'll do it.” He felt shocked, shocked that the other man would think Hyungwon needed anything except for Hoseok. Even if he himself had thought that he did, it was bullshit. When it came down to it, nothing else mattered except for the beautiful man next to him. 

“I just feel like you deserve better Hoseok. That's what I thought. But if I can be enough then I'll do anything.”   
  
“Can you just accept that I know what’s best for me? I’m old enough to decide don’t you think?” Hoseok was visibly mad.

The feeling of having let a terrible mistake trespass his actions dried out Hyungwon's mouth and he felt intensely cold, body heating up at the panicky thoughts running through his head. They were right back at square one, arguing over the ability to decide on their own what's good for them. 

Before it had been Hoseok assuming that he knew what was best for Hyungwon, believing that it definitely wasn't him. Now it was Hyungwon, forcing his own opinion on Hoseok, making decisions based on his own insecurities, suggesting to Hoseok to just leave him behind although it was the worst possible scenario. 

_ You want Hoseok, you love him even. But you fucked up big time Hyungwon. Hoseok is furious and there isn't much stopping him from walking out of your life.  _

Hyungwon inhaled through his nose, hands gripping the wheel even tighter, finger marks likely to appear on the leather if he did it long enough. He couldn't lose Hoseok now, not when he finally got his shit together and was willing to do anything. 

The two of them continuously danced around each other, believing that each of them was better off without the other but Hyungwon was too scared to let go. 

_ He's going to leave you if you don't do anything. Even Changkyun said that Hoseok deserves someone who genuinely cares about him. What are you even doing here Hyungwon? Return to your pathetic straight life, lying to yourself that you're happy although Hoseok is everything you ever wanted.  _

Hyungwon released some of the tension that kept his body frozen, fingers relaxing around the wheel. Enough to start the engine and be able to drive safely. He stared straight on, steering smoothly out of the parking garage although his body was stiff. 

“Let's go to my place and talk this out Hoseok. Please.”

_ You can't return anymore Hyungwon. You're going to try to fix what can be fixed and deal with the consequences like a grown up.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a 14k chapter coming your way and you'll most likely die after reading it just like us. Bye.
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	25. 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you by chance want to fuck yourself?” he asked staring the lawyer down. “Because that's how you get to fuck yourself.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'd like to say sorry to our parents at this point. But we also don't regret anything.
> 
> You might need to disinfect your eyes with vodka, so please have that ready. Also tissues for crying and new underwear. Bye.
> 
> ENJOY!

He couldn't stop thinking that life constantly tried to fuck him up. Hopelessly falling for a straight person, suffering and the consequences of it all throwing his life into misery. Hobi confessing his feelings two years late, kissing him in an elevator in front of Hyungwon.

_What the actual fuck? You must've done something wrong._

Then there was the lawyer, who already demanded he should take Hobi, because they got along oh so well, placing a cherry on top, asking him whether he had fun the past week.

He felt vomit coming up his throat.

Hoseok suppressed the urge to scream everything he felt in the other man's face and preferred to walk away instead. As usual Hyungwon didn't let him and he ended up going home with him to talk it out.

_What do you even want to talk about? That you're so selfish and don't give a flying fuck about any kind of consequences of your relationship? That you want to have him, always around and happy about everything you do?_

_No?_

_You want to scream that your feelings are apparently not enough for him? That he's being selfish, wanting to protect himself from negative experiences with his newly developed affection for you?_

It was so complicated that it drove him mad with each second that passed. Hoseok was afraid to say something that he would regret later. He just wanted to be alone, but there he was, sitting on the couch in Hyungwon’s apartment and gulping down the second gin tonic the other man mixed him.

They still didn't talk. It was so awkward being in the same room, drinking and remaining silent although the space was filled with implicit tension and the pressure threatened to suffocate him.

“I think I'll vomit if you don't start talking to me.” Hoseok decided to cut through the silence, still staring into his glass.

“Why do you never tell me if you don’t like something, until it’s already too late and you got hurt?” the lawyer asked him, sitting down on the armchair instead of next to him on the couch, placing the drink he mixed for himself in front of him.

Hyungwon was right, he just kept silent and tried to deal with everything alone, hoping that it'd fade eventually.

“I don't want to make it harder on you than it already is. This whole situation must be so stressing for you and then there's me who can't get his shit together, although I'm the one who got you into it in the first place.” It was the truth. What would the relationship turn into if he said all those things that worried him, made him mad and forced him to cry his eyes out like a pathetic piece of shit?

Hyungwon smiled slowly, but it looked a little bitter. His eyes moved to the glass in front of him, but he didn’t touch it, playing with his hands instead.

“I’m glad that you are so considerate of my feelings, but do you think you would be happy with someone who constantly steps on your emotions like that?”

Happy? He just needed Hyungwon to be happy. He didn't care about anything else. He could just cry 24/7 as long as the other didn't leave him.

“Yes. If it's you,” he mumbled, trying hard not to look at the other man because he already felt his eyes giving up on his resolution not to cry in front of Hyungwon.

The lawyer bit his lower lip and looked towards the ceiling, obviously affected by what Hoseok had said until he controlled himself and turned, staring him in the face instead of his hands as he had since they had arrived at his apartment.

“Do you mean that Hoseok? You would just let me walk all over you just to stay with me? Why would you when you could make it so much better for yourself?” Hyungwon’s gaze was disbelieving, unable to comprehend Hoseok’s actions.

Sure there was no logic behind it, so the lawyer didn't understand. How was he going to explain that without shoving his pathetic state right into Hyungwon’s face?

“You know, this is so embarrassing and pathetic and I can't help it. I just didn't feel like this before and I also don't understand fully. I just- I'm just this possessive asshole you know, I just want to have you no matter what, no matter whether you're having a hard time because of me or not. I'm just selfish and obsessive and you should actually stay away from me. Seriously.“ Hoseok’s eyes were blurred, tears rolling down his cheeks one after the other as if it was some drama movie.

 _Shit Hoseok don't you dare cry right now, you're not the fucking victim. Fuck._  
  
Hyungwon sighed, standing up from where he was sitting and dropped his body next to Hoseok on the couch, close but making sure their thighs weren’t touching. His hand reached for Hoseok’s, grabbing it tightly, thumb rubbing soothing circles over the knuckles. His expression was so sad, eyes huge and reflecting Hoseok’s devastated self.

“How can you say that to the person that kept screaming ‘you’re mine’ at you? If anyone is possessive among the two of us it is me. Please listen to me Hoseok. Changkyun said that you deserve someone who genuinely cares about you.” He sucked more air into his lungs, enabling him to speak the next words clearly. “I want to become that person, but how can I when you keep telling me to leave you and ignore your feelings?” The lawyer’s hand left Hoseok’s and moved around his neck, pressing him closer to his chest, tears staining Hyungwon’s silk shirt.

He felt the same lump crawling up his throat. The exact same one he had when he cried on Changkyun’s shoulder like a kid. He needed to say something that made sense, something smart that would convince Hyungwon that he was okay, that he didn't need anything, that everything would be fine.

“But are my feelings enough for you Won?”

_Well that went well. You're a fucking idiot Hoseok._

The lawyer tightened an arm around his shoulders and Hoseok’s face drowned in the way Hyungwon smelled, clutching onto him desperately, not letting him go.

“Of course they are Hoseok. As long as you are happy with me I am happy as well Seok. I don’t need anything else. Just don’t sacrifice so much for me so that I can do something for you myself. When I want to touch you let me touch you and don’t argue that you don’t need anything. Let’s not make decisions for each other but talk about them, okay?”

Hyungwon was right. They kept thinking that they knew better, knew what was best for the other. Hoseok hated himself. He just couldn't stop crying, all those thoughts he suppressed came out of nowhere, crushing on him, breaking everything apart.

“You, why do you tell me to be with Hobi? Don't you want me? Don't you want to be with me, although I'm different from you? Why do you act as if you're my friend. You're not my fucking friend. I don't want to be friends with you. I'll fucking die because even pretending hurts like hell.” He detested himself for saying all that, for losing his shit and crying his eyes out like someone who couldn't deal with frustration.

Hyungwon tensed, loosening the arms around Hoseok’s shoulders to be able to look at the mess that he was.

“Of course I want to be with you,” he whispered, barely audible. “There’s nothing that I want more than that. I just felt that you would be hurt less with Hobi. He knows what he wants and could give you what you need, whereas I keep making mistakes and hurting you. I want you to be happy and I keep having the feeling that I ruin everything instead of achieving that. Don’t the times that I hurt you outweigh the ones I made you happy?”

A shiver passed through Hyungwon’s body and he attempted to stabilize his voice.

“I don’t want to be your friend either Hoseok and it was stupid of me to even suggest that. Please forgive me.” Ending his explanation the lawyer sucked in a deep breath, placing a kiss on Hoseok’s head and glanced at the ceiling again, voice unstable.

“I love you so much, I feel like dying Hyungwon. I want you to be with me although I know that you'll become unhappy eventually and I can't help hating myself for this but I also can't stop. I don't want Hobi. I want you. Only you. Fuck just stab me or something, I feel like my ribcage is bursting.” Hoseok buried his head between his knees, trying to calm himself down. He heard himself sobbing like a three year old. “Please don't leave. Fuck.”

This was a whole new level of pathetic, sobbing and begging at the same time, but Hoseok was so out of it that it seemed the most natural thing to do.

“Shit, Hoseok, please don’t cry. I’m not going to leave you. I wanted to talk to you in the full belief that you were the one who would leave me for acting like a selfish bastard. Leaving you is the last thing I’m going to do.” Hyungwon lifted him up, grabbing him by the chin and forcing him to look, lips placing a tender kiss on his.

“Who are you to know whether I’ll be unhappy? Let’s just make sure that both of us are so fucking happy that Changkyun wants to slap us.” The lawyer smiled, kissing Hoseok for a longer period of time, lips wet from his tears but so tender.

“I love you Hoseok, so please don’t cry. I won’t leave and hopefully neither will you and we’ll make this work. I’ll stop being a selfish dick and you won’t keep everything to yourself and there won’t be anything stopping us from being disgustingly cheesy, okay?” A grin spread over the lawyer’s lips and he wiped away the new wave of tears running down Hoseok’s cheeks with his thumb.

“Fuck this is so embarrassing. I'm sorry that you have to see this. I can't even have a proper conversation with you without talking bullshit and crying like a kid.” He was finally able to stop the tears from flowing down, gulping down the rest of the gin tonic. He felt too ashamed to reciprocate Hyungwon’s touch.

“I think you're cute,” Hyungwon said with a grin and kissed his nose. His eyebrows rose in challenge, thumb moving over Hoseok’s cheek again, wiping away the remaining tears.

“I fucked up so much already that I don't even care anymore. By the way, why do you have a huge pack of condoms in the kitchen? Do you eat them?” Hoseok smiled widely, trying to change the topic, remembering the package on the counter and asking himself whether Hyungwon had more going on than he knew.

The lawyer choked on his own breath.

“Those aren't mine!” he said quickly, looking over to the kitchen and staring at it as if he genuinely considered burning it down. “At least not really. Minhyuk gave them to me. For some reason. Mysteriously in a size that's not mine.” He sighed in desperation.

Hoseok felt his eyes widening at the mention of size. He wanted to make a bad joke about them being extra large, but realised what Minhyuk probably hinted at.

“Uhm, just return them then,” he managed to comment, blush creeping up his cheeks at the sudden realization. Hyungwon just grinned at his reaction, placing a kiss on his lips again.

“Are you intimidated by your own dick size suddenly? Shouldn't you be used to it?”

How could Hyungwon go from emotional and soft, to making jokes about his dick, in what felt like three seconds?

“I'm used to it. Just not used to you having condoms in my size lying all over your kitchen counter.” Hoseok grinned and went over to the kitchen, examining the content of the package.

“I don't know what kind of thoughts Minhyuk had after giving you 100 XXL condoms with knobs and I'm also not sure whether I want to know,” he remarked.

The lawyer who had followed him into the kitchen paled, checking out the package in Hoseok’s hands.

“Doesn't that hurt like a bitch?” he asked, coming even closer to see it properly. “And you forgot to mention that they have different tastes. You can have an apple, cherry, banana or lemon dick.”

Hoseok froze for a minute asking himself why someone would taste a condom, but banned the thoughts successfully.

“What do you mean it hurts like a bitch?” He asked instead. Hyungwon looked at him as if he was stupid.

“Because you stretch it more by having those weird ass thingies attached to it?” he asked, pointing at the knobs on the picture of the condom package.

Hoseok started laughing like a maniac at Hyungwon’s hilarious train of thought. He was pretty sure that being filled out by a dick made the additional knobs obsolete.

“I think those knobs are the smallest problem though. And no it doesn't hurt if you do it right. I'm pretty sure.” He smiled as the door opened with a short melody and a package flew in. This was truly a crazy evening.

Hyungwon's eyes widened in panic.

“Fuck,” he said but didn't walk over to the package, just staring as if the gate of hell opened into his apartment. Hoseok went to pick it up, laughing at Hyungwon for not being able to move and opened it. That's when the lawyer started walking towards him, desperately screaming at him to wait, but Hoseok had been faster.

“I think you got something fun.” He peeled a black vibrator out of the box, trying hard to suppress his laugh, turning to the lawyer with a bright grin. Hyungwon just stood there wide eyed, staring at the thing in his hand as if it was an extraterrestrial being, a slimy and disgusting one.

“I’m going to kill Lee Minhyuk,” he muttered, still a little out of it. He walked back towards the kitchen and sat on the counter. “Fuck my life.”

Hoseok was having the time of his life. Walking over to Hyungwon while swinging the toy in his hand.

“You sure that you didn't order it? It was in the original package.” He closed the distance and held the black object in front of the lawyer’s face, smirking like a sadist.

Hyungwon blushed beautifully, rosy color spreading from his neck to his cheeks, head turning away in discomfort.

“Do I look like someone who orders sex toys Shin Hoseok?” he asked, voice stable but he was obviously embarrassed.

Well Hyungwon also didn't look like someone who liked dick before, so it could easily be the case.

“How can you be so comfortable with this. Did you use some before or what?” The lawyer looked up, challenging him to answer affirmatively, convinced that Hoseok had never used a vibrator in his life.

“Sure, on others though. I think I was made for giving other people pleasure. It’s one of my talents.” Hoseok smiled tentatively.

Hyungwon just rolled his eyes.

“You dominant shit,” he murmured.

“Yeah me crying and begging for you not to leave was the most dominant thing I ever did.” Hoseok cracked up holding his stomach, clenching from extensive laughing.

“Nope, I’m pretty sure that was telling me to touch myself on an armchair,” Hyungwon remarked with a grin, lifting an eyebrow and spreading his legs on the kitchen counter, still comfortably seated.

“You started this. You knew exactly what would happen if you did that. You think I don't know that you're purposefully trying to make me lose control every fucking time?” Hoseok put the black vibrator on the counter and positioned himself between the lawyer’s legs, glancing up, eyes narrowed and catching the other man's gaze without trouble. Hyungwon bit his lip, affected by the proximity and watched his face intently, big eyes only focused on him.

“I love it when you lose control Hoseok,” he murmured slowly, breath fanning over Hoseok’s face. His long fingers touched the fabric of his shirt, lifting it partially to feel the naked skin of his sides.

_Shit shit shit shit shit. Be careful there he goes again._

“Go throw those condoms out of the window so I have a proper reason to stay sane,” Hoseok growled in the lowest tone possible, feeling the lack of contact in the past week washing over him like a fucking tsunami.

Hyungwon hissed at the words, body reacting to the aggressiveness. His left hand parted from the skin of his sides and grabbed Hoseok’s collar instead, pulling him in for a kiss, licking into his mouth and biting the smooth flesh of his lower lip.

“Shut up and show me how much you love me,” he moaned during a short separation before he dove right back, licking over Hoseok’s teeth and forcing their bodies closer.

_Oh no. How the fuck are you going to hold yourself in place? Where’s the fucking siren Hoseok?_

He didn't hear it anymore. He couldn't hear anything besides the rough breaths that hit his skin and his own heartbeat. Close to not thinking anything, his arms curled around Hyungwon’s body and his lips moved on their on, exploring the lawyer's mouth over and over again.

“You know what you do to me, you know it and you still go all out provoking me to the maximum.” Hoseok was not able to moan anything else besides accusations. “Fuck I missed you so much.”

Hyungwon smiled into the kiss, tightening his legs around Hoseok’s hips, heel of one foot digging into his thigh.

“Show me how much you missed me then,” he tempted Hoseok again, no sense of self-preservation whatsoever. He let go of his waist, only clutching onto him with the tight grip of his thighs and lifted his arms to the cupboard above him, seizing a handle with both hands. Holding onto it he leaned back a little, taking Hoseok with him by nibbling on his bottom lip.

Hoseok tried so hard to think about something to stop the burning lust spreading everywhere, afraid to let go completely and do something he might regret.

“You. You listen well to what I'm about to say.” He waited until he had Hyungwon’s undivided attention. “The only way for you to get what you want today is asking me nicely. If you want me to do it, then you better try hard.” Hoseok exhaled and closed his eyes. He had to make sure the other wanted it, and he was going to enjoy it, not thinking about anything else.

Hyungwon watched him carefully, expression calm except for the loud heartbeat and panting at their proximity and the way they had kissed. He let go of the handle above him and caressed Hoseok’s face instead, thumb moving over his jawline and neck until it returned to his cheek bone, stroking it softly.

“Do you want the rude or the cheesy version?” he asked, big eyes right in front of Hoseok’s face, lips plump and soft smile in place.

“I couldn't give less fucks about your formulations.” Hoseok was glad he was able to say anything at all.

“Then please fuck me Hoseok.”

That was something he hadn’t expected. He didn't even know what he expected in the first place, maybe something like ‘kiss me’, ‘touch me’. The possibilities were endless, but Hyungwon just threw the brick in his face.

_If he wants it, you're going to give it to him, Hoseok. As simple as that._

“You have five minutes,” he groaned separating from the lawyer. Hyungwon looked upset at the loss of body warmth, confused as to why Hoseok would leave him there like this.

“For what?” he asked eventually, insecurities mixing back into the arousal on his face. “Do you remember what we talked about a few minutes ago Hoseok? That we don’t decide what the other wants or doesn’t want, but that they can perfectly decide on their own? Don’t you think now is a very good time to practise that? Or is there something personal keeping you from it? Do you not want to?” The questions just rained down on him without warning, fitting the agitation on Hyungwon’s face.

Hoseok almost choked realising the misunderstanding.

“You want me to fuck you without preparation? Well get naked then,” he commented hoping the other would realize the bullshit he was talking seconds ago. Hoseok simply wanted to give Won time to prepare, like he did before.

Hyungwon’s eyes widened in realization and he almost facepalmed, throwing his head in his hands.

“Fuck I’m such an idiot,” he groaned and massaged his temples furiously before he finally lifted his head again. “Sorry, was thinking with my dick. I’ll be right back,” he mumbled right after, slipping down from the kitchen counter, fingers already opening the buttons on his silk shirt and disappearing in the hallway, face red.

Hoseok was extremely thankful for those five minutes he was able to think properly, without the lawyer's beautiful body distracting him from logical reasoning. It was real but it didn't feel like it at all. Hoseok tried to repeat Hyungwon’s words in his head, searching for signs of confusion or a subtle message, but it just stayed the way it was when the words left the lawyer’s lips.

_You told him you'd do it if he asked and he just asked, so you're going to give 300% to make it the best experience of his life._

_He deserves it._

Getting a couple of condoms out of the package, Hoseok walked slowly towards the bedroom, placing them on the small table on the left side, next to the lube he got out of the drawer. His heart was pumping out of his chest. One could have thought it was his first time, considering the way he behaved, nervous gestures and irregular breathing pattern adding up to the picture.

He wanted to make it good. He wanted it to be perfect, after waiting for so long, images and fantasies disturbing his daily life, nagging on his sanity, Hyungwon talking about it, fuelling those even more.

_It's his first time Hoseok. He didn't do it before. Ever. You're the only one. Don't you dare ruin it for him._

The pressure was overwhelming, but it was something that Hyungwon wanted.

Hoseok sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the person he loved more than anything else to come out of the bathroom, his whole body shivering in anticipation.

When Hyungwon returned he looked even more determined than he had when he told Hoseok to fuck him. He was in trunks and walked towards the bed, smiling slightly.

“You always look so prepared when I come back,” he said with a smile, long legs and chest on display. “Your expression says it all.” Stopping in front of Hoseok he scrutinized him from head to toe, eyebrow rising in question. “Why aren’t you naked though?”

“I told you to ask nicely didn't I? Did you think it was a joke?” Hoseok smirked his nervousness away, trying not to stare at the lawyer’s thin but lean body. Smirking back Hyungwon didn’t answer and acted instead, fingers easily finding the thin fabric of Hoseok’s supreme shirt and pulling at it, uncovering more and more inches of pale skin.

“I love your skin tone,” he mumbled in his ear, sounding fascinated. “It looks like porcelain, incredibly valuable and sensitive at the same time. Can’t believe I’m allowed to touch it.”

Hoseok hissed at the caress and threw the shirt on the floor, still seated and glanced up.

“You're allowed to do everything you want, as long as you're being a good boy.” Fingers ran over Hyungwon’s bare thighs, fuelling Hoseok’s lust with every movement, the sexual attraction being too much to handle.

The lawyer’s smile faded, lower lip pulled between his teeth, eyes glazing over. The words must have induced something since he immediately dropped to the floor and fumbled with Hoseok’s jeans button, ripping down the zipper with force.

“I’ll be the best boy you’ve ever seen and now get out of those jeans before I rip them off your luscious thighs.” He bit into Hoseok’s right thigh for emphasis, licking the area right after.

Hoseok kicked his pants away and used the spare seconds to breathe in and out, hoping he wouldn't lose control too early. He wanted it to last as long as possible.

In theory.

But Hyungwon complying so easily, biting his muscles and looking so hot between his legs fucked with his sanity on a whole new level. So he sat back on the bed and stared down at the beautiful face, which smirked right back.

“I'm not saying that I fingered myself in the bathroom thinking of you, but that's exactly what I'm saying.”

_No no no no no Hoseok, don't listen to him. He's trying to make you snap._

“Oh is that so? But I couldn't watch, so I'm a little disappointed. I think you should atone for that.” Hoseok growled with a smirk on his lips. Hyungwon nodded, remaining between his legs, hand rubbing carefully over Hoseok’s clothed erection.

“Of course I should,” he answered calmly and leaned down to nibble at the outline of Hoseok’s dick, pressure building up despite the obtrusive underwear. “How?”

“Undress, on the bed, spread legged. I want to see you doing the same thing you did in the bathroom. For me.” Hoseok was getting kinky with every second he stayed next to Hyungwon. It was as if they were competing, trying to make each other snap. The other man's sassiness combined with the utter submissive behaviour towards Hoseok was like a drug he couldn't get enough of.

_A masochist. You are a masochist Hoseok._

Hyungwon nodded again, smiling despite the very obvious blush on his cheeks. He climbed on the bed next to Hoseok, crawling past him until he reached the middle of the bed and lay down.

“As you wish,” he whispered, voice even deeper from arousal and dug his thumbs under the waistband of his trunks, pulling them down his hips and over his legs until he could just throw them to the side. Breathing irregularly he spread his legs and stretched out his hand towards Hoseok. “Would you mind?”

Hoseok looked at those long fingers stretched out in front of him, as if the request was something absolutely ridiculous, but caught himself, snatching the tube from the table and taking the digits in his palm. Coating them with lube, eyes concentrated at the way the fluid spread on the hand. Fuck what was he going to do if he saw them in action? The tension was no fucking joke.

The lawyer observed him intently, subconsciously licking over his lips, legs shivering slightly in anticipation.

“Holy shit,” he muttered when Hoseok finally let his hand go and he moved it between his legs, going below his left leg to have more space for movement. Closing his eyes and hissing at the sensation he entered himself, breathing pattern changing and lips parting. Hoseok could see how his arm changed the angle a little, body obviously remembering what felt good and yearning for it, muscles flexing at the spot-on pleasure, gasp leaving his mouth. Hyungwon reacted so much although this was just the beginning. It was as if he was made for this.

Hoseok crawled over after getting rid of his underwear and sat down legs spread across Hyungwon.

“I need to see how good you are to me,” he hissed visibly affected by the sight. “I want you to open your eyes and look.” The lawyer's eyes were closed but Hoseok needed to see how his actions affected the beautiful man in front of him. Hyungwon had fluently transitioned from one digit to two and panted at the pleasure coursing through him. He paused the continuous slide of his fingers and gasped, struggling with the sensations until he was able to glance at Hoseok, half lidded and so fucked out. Blinking slowly he bit his lip.

“You look so ready, fuck.” Hoseok was struggling not to touch the other, not to use his own fingers.

Yes a fucking masochist. He was hopeless when it came to Hyungwon.

“But you said,” the other man began, voice hoarse although no words had left his mouth, just moans. “You said two wouldn't be enough.” He resumed the motion of his fingers and automatically shut his eyes, throwing his head back in reflex.

Of course it wasn't enough, but he would be ready soon.

“Add another one and you better open your eyes. I'm not going to fuck you unless I'm sure I can see your face while I do it.” Hoseok mind was already there.

Evidently fighting with his self control the lawyer nodded and barely opened his eyes again, adding another digit and clenching them shut right after.

“Fuck, this is difficult Hoseok,” he moaned. Hoseok could see how the digits moved in more than half way, the other man's legs shaking at the contact.

The lawyer’s right hand fell on his forehead and wiped away a few drops of sweat, pushing the dark strands out of his eyes.

“Sometimes-” He was interrupted by a moan, dick jerking at the sensation without having enjoyed any contact since the two of them started out. “I wonder if this is your kink or you're just too lazy to work yourself Hoseok.” He smiled at his own words, eyes shut tightly and chest rising and falling quickly.

“I told you to beg if you want something didn't I? If you don't want to then I'll just enjoy the sight.” Hoseok let his fingers slide between his legs, curling around his erection, moving up and down, grinning shamelessly. “Mhh I could easily come like that,” he moaned.

Hyungwon's long fingers slipped out of him smoothly and he sat up, wiping the remaining lube on his thigh.

“Fuck, touch me Hoseok. Please,” he panted, brown orbs glazed over and teeth clenched. The blush had moved down over his neck to his chest, skin looking golden and beautiful. “I beg you. Your fingers are thicker than mine and feel way better too.” The last words were barely a whisper and had Hoseok not been utterly focused on the ethereal being sitting spread-legged in front of him he'd have missed them.

“You're such a good boy. You deserve everything,” Hoseok whispered back, taking the lube and coating his fingers thoroughly and placing himself between Hyungwon’s legs. He also couldn't resist tasting the lawyer's swollen lips, biting into the lower one in an attempt to release some of the tension that piled up.

“I can't wait to be inside of you. I’m so close to losing control, but I have to be patient, Fuck,” Hoseok moaned after sinking his teeth into his own lip and sliding in two fingers at once, observing Hyungwon’s face closely.

The other man's mouth opened with a loud moan, eyes widening at the way Hoseok hit right on, gasping his name and unidentifiable curses. The flow of speech from his mouth became more identifiable the harder he buried his nails in Hoseok’s thigh. 

“Fuck, fuck Hoseok. I fucking love this.” Hyungwon's legs spread even wider, giving him more access. “How can I be so sensitive? What is wrong with me?” His hips jerked towards the movement of Hoseok’s hand, encouraging him to go faster. Sweat covered his forehead and he was out of it, basking in pleasure.

“You can't be like this to me Won. How am I supposed to be patient like that?” Hoseok wasn't sure he could wait any longer.

Hyungwon managed to let a grin pass his lips, eyes shut in bliss and a drop of sweat finding its way past his eyebrow.

“You better give me another one and scissor so I don't sue you later.” The lawyer had apparently done some research and felt as if he was the shit.

Hoseok pulled his fingers out and thought about leaving Hyungwon there on the bed.

“Do you by chance want to fuck yourself?” he asked staring the lawyer down. “Because that's how you get to fuck yourself.“

The expression that followed was priceless. Hyungwon looked like Hoseok had done him dirty, killed his whole family and eradicated his race. Eyes like saucepans, which they were basically even in their normal state, he stared unable to formulate as his lips kept parting and closing again, preparing to say something but unable to form anything coherent. His chest was rising and falling quickly, goosebumps covering his whole body. Licking over his lips he shut his eyes and looked at the ceiling, calming himself before he was able to look at Hoseok again.

“Shit,” he breathed out eventually. “Please Hoseok, I beg you. I’d do fucking anything, just continue what you were doing or give me more. Whatever you want.” The desperation was clear as day, eyes appearing slightly wet from the effort.

“I told you. I won't do any-fucking-thing, if you don’t ask explicitly. Nicely.” Hoseok leaned in until his face was only centimetres away. “So what do you want?”

Hyungwon pushed himself forward, kissing him intently before licking over the producer's lips and parting.

“Prepare me and then fuck me like you mean it.” He licked his lips repeatedly, looking a little shy despite the words, breath tickling Hoseok’s mouth. “Please.”

Hoseok would've done anything, anyway, but Hyungwon didn't need to know. He kissed back and pushed three fingers in slowly, while licking into the lawyer’s mouth, watching over the muscle tension, to not hurt him.

Instead of showing signs of pain Hyungwon just released the breath he had been holding, relieved at getting what he wanted.

“Shit, this is intense,” he murmured and something else that wasn’t coherent enough for Hoseok to understand, beginning to push against the digits inside him and gasping at every nudge of his prostate.

Hoseok couldn't believe it, it was as if the other man was made for this kind of pleasure, and he was sure as fuck ready to give Hyungwon the full course. As if the lawyer had read his thoughts he almost sobbed pushing at Hoseok’s shoulders in no apparent direction, just to get his attention.

“Don’t you think you teased me enough?”

As soon Hyungwon realized that he sounded demanding his eyes widened and he added “Am I ready yet?”, worried that the fingers inside him would drop everything again.

Hoseok loved it. He loved it so much that he didn't want anything else.

Ever.

Just this was enough. This and him being inside of Hyungwon. He got greedy so fast.

“Well, tell me what you want Hyungwon-ah.” Hoseok smiled and continued moving his fingers skilfully inside of the other man.

Writhing before him Hyungwon had difficulties to answer, moaning continuously and barely holding himself up with his arms, hands fisting the blanket he was sitting on in bliss. “I-” he was interrupted by his own semi-scream at Hoseok’s motions. “-can’t talk like this.” 

“Too bad then.” Hoseok was so hard he tried really intently not to come untouched from the feeling of being inside of Hyungwon with his fingers. The other’s wrecked state was his favourite sight. Unfortunately his bullshit spree was over in a matter of seconds and another low groan accompanied by Hyungwon grinding into his fingers caused the absolute snap.

“I want to be inside of you Hyungwon. Will you let me?” That backfired but he couldn't care less. It was too much for him to handle, mouth opened, staring at the other man, face probably red from all the effort it cost to play cool all that time.

_Please, fucking please. Please, please, please. Fuck._

He licked his lips, nervous because there was no answer and prepared to beg outside of his thoughts.

The lawyer gasped again, dark eyes staring at him intently before a smile appeared, contrasting with how gone he looked.

“For being the king of consent asking while you are three fingers deep in my ass is a little mean, isn’t it?”

Hoseok remembered what he was doing, pulled out and kept staring. He needed that answer. He wanted to make absolutely sure that Hyungwon wasn't delirious. And Hoseok wanted him so much, fuck it was pure torture. He was gone. Fingers grasped his face tenderly, pulling his jaw closer to Hyungwon’s, kissing him and licking into his mouth before kissing his eyes, nose and neck.

“Shit, you’re the nicest human I ever met Hoseok,” he whispered, littering his face and upper body with kisses, not stopping until he placed one against his ear and licked his earlobe, whispering pure sin.

“I don’t want to undermine your self-control any further but I can’t wait for you to feel how fucking tight I probably am. Fuck me Hoseok.”

It felt like a crazy, nasty dream. Picking the condom up from the table, rolling it over, coating everything with lube, while staring at Hyungwon’s face like it was the fucking sun, which it really was. To him. Pushing the other man's body down, while grabbing his beautiful long legs, he just kept staring, not able to get enough.

Hoseok wanted to say how he felt but it would've sounded cheesy and unfitting. His whole body was tingling, every cell screamed and the overwhelming sensation was probably all over his face.

Hyungwon watched him intently, lying on the bed and biting his lip in anticipation. He looked whipped, mesmerized by Hoseok’s expressions.

“I love you Hoseok, although this might be a strange moment to say it. It doesn’t make it any less true though.” A happy smile materialized, eyes turning into crescents. “I’m glad it’s you.”

“I love you so much, honestly I wanted to tell you so much more, but my brain is good morning oatmeal right now, so I'm afraid only bullshit will come out.” Hoseok closed his eyes trying to deal with the emotions that mixed into his already unstable state. 

Hyungwon laughed loudly. “Then tell me afterwards and get to it Hoseok.” He seized Hoseok’s condom-clad erection and pulled him closer with a grin, curling his legs around Hoseok’s hips, lifting his lower body up.

He didn't need more invitation than that, breathing in and out after lining up with Hyungwon’s entrance he pushed with little pressure first, stroking the other man's thigh with his left hand to help him relax.

Hyungwon’s eyes enlarged at the intrusion, mumbling ‘oh my god-oh my god’ repeatedly, clutching onto the blanket and forcing his body to release its tension.

“Try to relax. I'm going in really slowly.” Hoseok deserved a fucking award. His body was burning from the struggle to push himself further, faster, to start moving. He swallowed down everything, controlling his breathing like a woman giving birth and concentrated on Hyungwon’s facial expressions. Opposed to his inability to keep his eyes open the other man was very attentive, cursing repeatedly and watching Hoseok enter him at a slow speed.

“This is crazy,” he whispered, gasping a little and lifting his right hand to touch Hoseok’s pecs, flexed from the effort to hold himself back.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok whispered after being half way inside of the other man and feeling high, as if he'd smoked a joint and celebrated it by drinking half a bottle of vodka afterwards. It was so warm and so incredibly tight, every leftover inhibition seemed to vanish in a matter of seconds. It felt crazy, but there was no way he would hurt Hyungwon.

Breathing heavily, but still watching him, Hyungwon clenched around him subconsciously.

“Yeah, just fucking full. Do you think you could put my legs over your shoulders?”

Hoseok might have bit his lip bloody but he couldn't care less, taking the beautiful calves and resting them on his shoulders, looking down on the picture beneath him. This was so fucking intense. He thanked god or the devil or whoever for having enough endurance for what was happening.

“Shit this is amazing, go on,” Hyungwon gasped and closed his eyes, hiss echoing through the room as Hoseok moved further. The other man’s hair was spread over the pillow, partially covering his forehead and eyes, framing it delicately. Skin contrasted with the dark red sheets.

Was there even enough vocabulary to describe his inner state? Hoseok wasn't sure. He was almost all the way inside Hyungwon, not moving and just staring at him, as if he was some kind of godly creature. Close to seeing stars at the other man's unconscious movements, Hoseok asked himself how it could be procedurally the same but emotionally and perceptually different on so many levels. He was addicted. A mess of sensations and emotions rushed through his head as he just stared at the ethereal human being under him, breathing heavily, eyes closed, lips parted.

Fuck, he loved him so much.

Hyungwon opened his eyes gradually, glancing up at Hoseok and clenched his body around him, purposefully. “Do you like that Hoseok? Does it feel good?”

A low moan was the only answer he could give, holding Hyungwon’s legs in place, muscles tensing and sweat running down his temple. Seeing the reaction the other man repeated it, gasping a little at the sensation himself.

“You’re huge Hoseok, but I fucking love it. Try moving.”

His hips were more effective than his brain, still processing what Hyungwon wanted from him. There was a need to stay concentrated but it got more and more difficult, watching the facial expressions, the eyes, listening. He was falling apart at the speed of light. Moving slowly he couldn't help but release low, desperate groans clutching onto the last bit of endurance he could afford.

As he moved back in slightly differently Hyungwon screamed, fingers digging into Hoseok’s thigh instead of the blanket and panting heavily.

“Shit, do that again Hoseok.” Hyungwon’s voice was hoarse again, face delirious and body clenching around him rhythmically.

Hoseok slid in using the same angle, moans and curses leaving his lips, not able to control himself anymore. He curled his fingers around Hyungwon’s erection and moved his hand in the same rhythm as his thrusts. The beautiful man was falling apart under him, head writhing back and forth, words senseless and resembling Hoseok’s name more than anything else, nails leaving marks in Hoseok’s skin.

He was so unbelievably close, breathing irregularly, trying not to orgasm as if it was some curse he needed to avoid. Thrusting into Hyungwon his head felt like butter and his body resembled air, although he was holding himself and Hyungwon’s lower body. It was amazing. The intensity couldn't compare to anything Hoseok had done before. There were worlds between his previous experiences and this. The sight of the beautiful man filled his whole system with unknown euphoria.

Hyungwon was close too, his dick twitching in Hoseok’s hand with every thrust and walls not letting him go whenever he moved out, just to slam back in. His eyes were only partially sealed, watching Hoseok’s face and moaning vehemently.

He needed to come. It was inevitable, so he pulled out until only the tip was in and slammed his hips into Hyungwon, pushing his lower body up in the process to reach the perfect angle, breath stuck in his throat. Hyungwon almost lost consciousness, screaming at the contact and body going limp for a few seconds, staring at Hoseok as well as he could, mouth open.

“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Do that again Hoseok. Fucking please,” he murmured while throwing his head back into the pillows and meeting every thrust as if it was necessary for survival, eager and face ecstatic.

_He is first. Get your shit together._

Hoseok was losing his fucking mind. There were no thoughts in his head, hips moving automatically, guided by the lawyer telling him what to do, release so close it was already taking over his body, tingling at his fingertips. Hyungwon’s walls narrowed around him, clenching in an undefined pattern as he screamed Hoseok’s name and his body shivered, releasing between the two of them, without any further warning.

It was enough for his own orgasm to wash over him like a combination of a tsunami and a wrecking ball, muscles tensing so hard he almost collapsed over Hyungwon, holding himself up with the little bit of physical strength that was not consumed by the extensive high.

Hyungwon inhaled harshly, sighing and smiling at absolutely nothing.

“Holy shit,” he just disclosed, sounding disbelieving.

“I've never- I've never ever experienced something like this. I can't ever go back now,” Hoseok managed to say without thinking about the sense of the spoken words, holding himself up, shivering from the aftermath.

“Just let yourself fall. I’m into being squished,” Hyungwon declared with a grin and attempted to remove his legs from Hoseok’s shoulders, wincing a little as Hoseok slipped out of him. “Nevermind, let’s clean up first. Ew.”

“I love you, you know that? I don't know how I ended up being with you and you ended up thinking that I'm maybe worth it, but I'm the happiest person alive.” Hoseok couldn't help the sudden emotional diarrhoea.

One of the most beautiful expressions he had ever seen on the other man spread over his face, beaming at Hoseok like the sun itself.

“I love you too Hoseok, even if you’re cheesy as fuck and make my brain melt from reacting to all of this like a little girl. I fucking love you so much it’s probably a mental disease by now, one without a cure and that makes you disgustingly happy.”

Hoseok wasn't sure what he felt. Overwhelmed was an understatement and it also wasn't the typical post orgasmic euphoria. He kept looking at the other man, in disbelief about the past hour they spent together. After helping Hyungwon cleaning himself up and getting rid of the condom, he couldn't help curling his arms and legs around the thin body, pressing it as close as possible, breathing softly against Hyungwon’s ear. 

_You did it Hoseok. You won't be able to go back to how it was before. Ever._

 

***

 

“I want to be inside of you Hyungwon. Will you let me?”

_He’s going to sleep with you Hyungwon. Fuck._

Hyungwon almost screamed ‘yes’ at him, but caught himself in time, fighting against his body and wanting to enjoy the way Hoseok had finally cracked. He couldn’t help smiling at the way the producer ate him up with his eyes, wanting to keep it forever.

“For being the king of consent asking while you are three fingers deep in my ass is a little mean, isn’t it?”

Hyungwon was proud of his ability to form a semi-coherent thought despite the fact that he wanted to just jump Hoseok’s dick already and be filled out completely, not even knowing whether that’s how you do it or not. He didn’t care. He just wanted Hoseok in any way possible.

The other man was the most controlled and impressive individual Hyungwon had ever encountered, removing the fingers from his body and waiting for Hyungwon to reply, giving his consent. Emotions soared through his chest and he couldn’t help grasping the other man’s face in his palms and pulling him closer, kissing everything he could reach.

He loved him so much, it almost hurt.

He barely convinced himself to not throw something possessive at Hoseok and imagined how much the other man would love taking his virginity instead.

“I don’t want to undermine your self-control any further but I can’t wait for you to feel how fucking tight I probably am. Fuck me Hoseok.”

Shit he wanted Hoseok to fuck him.

A lot.

Hoseok grabbed the condom from the night table and everything became much more real than it had a few moments ago, skilled fingers putting it on in a matter of seconds. Next he applied a generous amount of lube and Hyungwon couldn’t help being fascinated with how in control he seemed despite the desperation in his eyes.

_You can’t even talk properly and he’s pulling on a condom without slipping up. Fucking how?_

Hyungwon wondered if Hoseok was a sex god indeed but didn’t ask him to protect his own dignity and not build up the other man’s ego any further. That was until he pushed him to the mattress lightly, back hitting soft blankets and staring up at the beauty that was Hoseok’s face. Grabbing his legs the other man pulled him closer to his body and fuck it was hot but so intimate at the same time.

Their bodies were almost flushed, faces centimeters apart and Hoseok’s expression was so tender. As if Hyungwon was the most valuable person in the world. It was mesmerizing because he was convinced that he felt the exact same way about the other man. Overwhelmed by the emotions he couldn’t help saying it out loud, not caring about whether confessions during sex were appropriate or not. He fucking loved Hoseok and wanted him to know.

As always the other man beat him in cheesiness and Hyungwon laughed, amazed at how much he trusted Hoseok and how relaxed he felt. When he was supposed to give the other man a blowjob he had been so worried, careful and numbed by the performance pressure. Now he just wanted to feel Hoseok as soon as possible and everything else was secondary.

“Tell me afterwards and get to it Hoseok,” he said eventually and grabbed Hoseok by his dick, pulling him closer and hoping that it would be enough of a hint to finally fuck his brains out. Lifting his legs and curling them around Hoseok’s hips was a nice addition for effect. Fuck, Hyungwon was excited.

Feeling how Hoseok aligned himself with his entrance he held his breath, forgetting that he was supposed to relax. His eyes widened at the difference to three fingers, fuck.

_Of course it’s different. Did you even see his dick Hyungwon?_

The tender strokes on his thigh were calming and Hyungwon focused on them instead, not imagining how much of a bodily stretch getting fucked by someone like Hoseok was. He still wanted it no matter what. The more Hoseok slid in the wider his eyes opened, amazed at the sensations. He couldn’t help mumbling curses, grabbing the blanket next to him and hoping that he was going to survive. Inhaling air with a rhythm he forced himself to relax further, immediately feeling how much easier that made the slide.

“Try to relax. I’m going in really slowly.”

Hyungwon couldn’t believe how Hoseok was able to talk in this situation. He would have already bottomed out and not given a shit anymore. The pleasure must have been agonizing, tight but not being able to seek friction. Hoseok was a fucking hero. Sweat glistened on his chest and neck and Hyungwon couldn’t resist touching his pec muscles, flexed from the effort with which he controlled himself. It was amazing.

“Are you okay?” the other man whispered, while Hyungwon was mesmerized with the way his body was filled up and how beautiful Hoseok looked. Okay? He was fucking splendid, having the time of his life just looking at the god like being that was Hoseok, straining himself to make him feel good and not hurt him. Shit how did Hyungwon even get this fucking lucky?

“Yeah, I’m just fucking full. Do you think you could put my legs over your shoulders?” Hyungwon asked, remembering that the angle was supposed to be amazing. Without delay Hoseok took his calves and put them on his shoulders, as if Hyungwon weighted fucking nothing and it was so hot that he groaned at the sight alone. The way Hoseok entered further at the change topped the whole thing off, sending a few sparks through Hyungwon’s limbs. It wasn’t as intense as Hoseok’s fingers hitting the right spot, but it wasn’t unpleasant either. Just really full and unusual.

When the other man moved a little Hyungwon’s body twitched around him subconsciously and Hoseok hissed in response.

_So he likes that._

Hyungwon repeated it purposefully, watching Hoseok bite his lip again and moan. It was fucking hot and Hyungwon needed to see that body in motion, preferably moving in and out of him. The way the light reflected of Hoseok’s chest and arms, grabbing Hyungwon’s legs and keeping him in place was enough to make the lawyer want to do this every fucking day. But he needed him to move.

“You’re huge Hoseok. I fucking love it. Try moving.”

Not even a second passed until Hyungwon could feel the other man move out, emptiness horrible compared to how full he felt before. He immediately yearned for it to return and pressed his ass against Hoseok, pushing him back in. The other man raised his hips while entering and that’s when Hyungwon saw stars.

Holy fucking shit.

He screamed his name, filling out the whole room and not caring, fingers leaving the blanket and digging into Hoseok’s thigh instead. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t believe what just happened but he needed it to happen again, repeatedly. Fuck.

“Shit, do that again Hoseok,” he gasped and felt his awareness leave him, eyes rolling back in his head.  

Hoseok apparently wanted to kill him as he groaned beautifully and moved right back in the same angle, hitting right on and sending another wave of ecstasy through Hyungwon, stars dancing in front of his inner eye. As if that wasn’t enough the other man curled a strong hand around his erection and Hyungwon lost every ability to perceive his surroundings, brain just filled with sparks of pleasure and the beautiful sounds that Hoseok was making. Opening his eyes a little he could see how the other man was lost in the sensation aswell, watching Hyungwon but moaning at every movement.

Hyungwon could have come from the sight alone.

Unable to keep his eyes opened he threw his head back and writhed at every thrust that Hoseok sent his way. This was so much better than fingers, this was so much better than every fucking thing he ever felt. Hyungwon wanted to make sure it never stopped, release irrelevant as long as Hoseok kept moving like that. His whole body was pulsating, sparks of pleasure numbing his limbs and lower body burning with a fire he didn’t want to extinguish.

Hyungwon could have come from Hoseok’s thrusts alone, but the hand on his dick decreased the time his orgasm took to build up greatly. He didn’t want to come, not yet, not with the way Hoseok was thrusting inside him, looking fucked out himself and like an artwork. Hyungwon wanted to stay in this situation and enjoy watching Hoseok while the other man lost himself inside Hyungwon. It was an amazing feeling to know that it was him making Hoseok feel like this. His body that drove Hoseok mad and unable to focus on anything but the pleasure that he was giving him.

Shit Hyungwon was close.

The built up kept washing over the edges of his consciousness, smoothing it out and pulling him further and further from reality, losing himself in the feeling that was Hoseok moving inside of him, hitting right-on with every thrust. Moans and variations of Hoseok’s name were leaving his lips, fingers clenching and digging into something but he didn’t know what. His hips were meeting every thrust, legs pushing Hoseok impossibly closer, wanting to feel more of the other man. More than was possible.

As if Hoseok knew how close he was he almost completely left Hyungwon’s body before he slammed in with force, costing Hyungwon a few seconds of his life that he left reality. The movements kept repeating and screams and moans flew from his lips, body convulsing at the thrusts.

When his orgasm washed over him it was unexpected, wave building up in a few seconds and crushing down on him, wrecking everything in its wake. His body tensed at the sensation and all strength left his limbs when he spilled his release between the two of them.

Fucked out and sated he felt too sensitive from the way Hoseok moved inside of him, body not ready for more stimulation. However the sight was totally worth it.

The other man tensed impossibly and slammed his hips into Hyungwon once more, cursing, sweat from his chin dropping down on Hyungwon’s stomach. Hoseok’s dick twitched inside of him and the beautiful man came with a low curse paired with something that resembled his name. The producer inhaled harshly and had obvious trouble holding himself up, eyes widened in disbelief, gaze glued to Hyungwon’s face.

_You’re so fucking in love Hyungwon just marry him already. What the actual fuck?_

Hyungwon gasped, unrelated to his orgasm and much more related to the way Hoseok was above him, panting and trying to catch his breath, watching him. Unable to say anything intelligent he just muttered ‘holy shit’ like an idiot. No words capable of describing how he felt, chest impossibly full and wish to press Hoseok to his body overwhelming. Hyungwon had never felt like this, not after sex and not in general. He just wanted to keep Hoseok close to him forever and never let him go, being the possessive shit that he was.

“I've never- I've never ever experienced something like this, I can't ever go back now,” Hoseok mumbled and Hyungwon would have willingly signed under that sentence with his full name. He doubted that he could be with anyone else after this, intensity not comparable and burning everything in its wake.

Hoseok shivered a little above him, probably strained from still carrying the weight of his legs and his own.

“Just let yourself fall, I’m into being squished,” Hyungwon commented and felt glad at his smooth ability to hide his wish to cuddle the other man behind a grin. There wasn’t much that he wanted to do more than that. He attempted to remove his legs from Hoseok’s shoulders, feeling every muscle in his lower body complain at the movement.

Fuck he was so going to be sore after this.

When he got his legs off, Hoseok helping out a little, he could feel how the other man slipped out of him, leaving emptiness and the wetness of lube. No fucking way was he going to lie there like that. Hell no.

“Nevermind, let’s clean up first. Ew”

Hoseok seemed completely oblivious to Hyungwon’s discomfort, still staring at his face.

“I love you, you know that? I don't know how I ended up being with you and you ended up thinking that I'm maybe worth it, but I'm the happiest person alive.” It was really sweet and Hyungwon smiled, warmth filling out his chest and forgetting everything around him except for Hoseok’s happy eyes.

The two of them were cheesy as fuck but Hyungwon couldn’t care less, enjoying the way Hoseok cleaned him up and curled his arms and legs around him, both of them not speaking but enjoying each other’s presence.

Hyungwon didn’t want him to let go, ever.

It was the first time that the lawyer fell asleep without clothes on but he couldn’t care less. Hoseok was warm enough for them both.

 

_

 

The unpleasant sound of Hyungwon’s alarm sounded through the room and he had forgotten how much he hated that thing. Not moving an inch he snuggled further into the warmth behind him, holding him tightly.

_Wait._

_You had sex with Hoseok and he was spooning you as you fell asleep within five minutes as usual Hyungwon._

He exhaled, much more awake, now that he remembered what was happening. The alarm was still ringing and he felt bad for letting Hoseok deal with that, stretching to reach it, but the arms around his waist were not allowing him to bridge the 5 centimeters separating him from the off button.

Warm breath tickled his ear, as Hoseok woke up, arms tightening around him consciously.

“What's that devil’s tool of yours? Turn it off,” he whispered in an extremely low voice.

Hyungwon gasped at the obvious erection pressing against his ass, body and mind remembering everything he felt last night, almost moaning at the memories. Biting his lip he remembered where he was and what he was supposed to be doing.

“It’s my alarm and I can’t turn it off if you don’t let me go a little. Don’t worry you can hold me as soon as I’ve reached that off-button, okay?” Hoseok’s voice was doing things to him and he hoped he wouldn’t speak any more than he did because Hyungwon’s morning wood might decide to stay for good.

“Mhhm, I don't know whether I want to let go though.” The other man moved his hips a little, the words accompanied by hot breath into Hyungwon’s neck. “I hope you're aware that you can't run away from me now,” Hoseok added smiling into the skin.

Hyungwon moaned, unable to stop himself and pushing his lower body against Hoseok’s crotch before his brain told him it was a bad idea. Shit it was early morning and he was supposed to hate everyone and not want to ride Hoseok’s dick.

_Fuck the alarm Hyungwon. It will turn off by itself and then you have peace._

“Fuck my life,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and tilting his head to give the other man more access to his neck. The alarm gave up and blissful silence filled the room, only his own heart beat pumping in his ears.

Hoseok immediately reacted to the contact, pressing himself against Hyungwon, kissing his neck, left hand moving between his legs.

“You drive me crazy, like a fucking drug,” he groaned, his hoarse morning voice sounding so much lower than usual, sending signals right to Hyungwon’s dick, adding up to the pleasure coursing through him at Hoseok’s palm. Sleeping naked was the best idea ever.

He sucked in a breath and forced himself to remember his schedule, body already melting at Hoseok’s touch and pushing his ass against the other man’s dick constantly. The only appointment he really had to go to was in three hours and he was his own boss.

_Fuck work Hyungwon._

“What do I have to do so you fuck me again, Hoseok?”

Hoseok’s hand moved up and down his dick slowly, applying pressure.

“Give me a condom, lube and a rational argument that you'll be ok.” The other man pressed his lower body closer.

Hyungwon’s brain worked high speed, attempting  to remember where the fuck Hoseok had put everything and how he was going to get it. Shit he was going crazy and Hoseok wasn’t even doing anything. Not more than he had during other encounters. Hyungwon’s hand reached towards the night table, fumbling until he found one of the many condoms Hoseok placed there and he couldn’t help but wonder whether he had done that on purpose.

“Did you purposefully put a few condoms there last night?” he asked as he held it into Hoseok’s face. If he had, then Hoseok was sneaky as fuck.

“Mhm, you have a hundred so I wasn't paying attention. Present me a rational reason, your majesty.” Hoseok’s morning voice could fuck him doggy style, without a fucking condom.

Hyungwon avoided answering and just fumbled further, opening a drawer and finally finding the lube bottle. This was a fucking struggle. He just wanted to be fucked, why was it so damn hard? Goddamn it. He threw the lube on the pillow and sucked in a breath, enjoying the way Hoseok was stroking his erection but also needing to formulate his rational reason.

_Do you even have one, Hyungwon?_

Shit he wanted Hoseok and not a fucking reason.

“My only appointment is in three hours and my extensive gay research tells me that I’m most likely still stretched from yesterday so it’ll be easier although I’m sore. So fucking do it Hoseok.”

Hoseok just continued teasing him, erection right between his cheeks, pressing against his body, the other man rolling himself against it skilfully.

“Hm, is that a good reason? I don't know Hyungwon.” This asshole just nibbled on his neck, stroking his dick slowly, torturing him like that.

_He wants you to beg again Hyungwon._

_Not today Satan._

Hyungwon closed his eyes and moved his ass against Hoseok, one hand sneaking between their bodies and curling around the other’s erection, stroking it by squeezing the tip especially. Hoseok was going to lose his shit without Hyungwon begging this time. Seriously. If Hyungwon had to he was just going to turn him around and jump on his dick himself, riding the shit out of him.

“It’s a fabulous reason Hoseok.”

A loud moan escaped the producer’s lips at the sudden contact, hips moving automatically.

“1-0, give me the stuff,” Hoseok pressed out, loosening the grip on Hyungwon’s dick and stretching his hand out.

The lawyer couldn’t help feeling euphoric at having won for once. He grabbed the condom and the lube, which he had just thrown next to Hoseok’s head and placed them into the other man’s waiting palm.

“Good boy,” he whispered with a grin, throwing Hoseok’s own words at him.

“Let’s see who will be the good boy as soon as I'm inside of you.” The groan caught him off guard.

Shit, Hyungwon wanted to be the good boy. Fuck everything, preferably him.

Impatient he leaned his head further against Hoseok, waist curling to press against him better.

“Come on Hoseok, fuck me,” he moaned.

The condom was sliding over Hoseok’s dick in seconds, lube opening with a click, coating everything, as if the other man was as impatient as he was. Wondering how Hoseok wanted him he sat up, watching how lube was spread around the beautiful cock. Seeing the producer with a condom on was a little unusual and Hyungwon bit his tongue to not try to figure out which taste it was.

“Lie down, just like before, but tell me immediately if it's not okay because I can't see your face.” Hoseok pointed at the spot in front of him.

Falling back into his inability to answer verbally Hyungwon nodded and lay down in front of the other man, basking in the warmth, breath irregular in anticipation and arousal. Shit he was addicted to this like after only one shot of heroine.

Pushing slowly, lube already warm, Hoseok entered him, as patient as yesterday, giving time to adjust, holding onto his hips and breathing softly into his ear. The feeling was as intense as it had been the first time, the only difference being that he couldn’t see what effect his body had on Hoseok. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but he could tell that he was a little sore from before. Hyungwon bit his lip to not moan loudly, disturbing his neighbours in the early morning and possibly alarming somebody with key code access.

Hoseok moved a little further, unable to suppress his moans, panting although there was nothing physically straining.

“I need to hear that you like it, Won. I can't tell,” the other man whispered in his ear, hot air hitting the skin.

_Fuck the neighbours Hyungwon, just let them know his name._

Hyungwon released the gasp he had been holding, lifting his leg a little to give Hoseok more access and moaning at how much easier and pleasurable the slide was.

“Love it, just move.”

It was nice not being forced to ask three times in a row, as Hoseok pushed himself in, one hand reaching between his legs again, fingers curling around the prominent erection, stroking it while the other man established his rhythm. Loud moans and curses filled the room, Hoseok was so fucking hot when he lost himself.

Hyungwon was still relatively sane, needing the producer to change angle to lose himself in the motions.

“Could you aim a little higher so I can scare the neighbours as well?” he moaned and lifted his leg even more, pausing the hand on his dick. “And I want to come untouched. Much nicer.”

“Everything,” Hoseok groaned, “I'll give you everything you want.” He pulled out a little, shifting his body and trusted back in, moving the hand to Hyungwon’s hip bone instead, holding him in place.

_Fuck._

Hyungwon almost lost consciousness again, sudden pleasure wiping every thought from his head and spreading liquid fire in his lower body.

“Fuck, right there,” he moaned and tried to press himself closer to Hoseok’s body, get him deeper, more. Shit. He wanted Hoseok to have more access.

“You're so fucking tight. My soul is leaving my body, fuck.” The thrusts were in the perfect angle, Hoseok obviously trying his best at giving Hyungwon exactly what he wanted.

Shit, he hit the fucking lover jackpot, writhing and moaning his voice hoarse. Squeezing his eyes shut he grabbed Hoseok’s hand on his hip and curled it around his thigh, lifting it higher and feeling more of Hoseok entering him with every thrust, groaning loudly at the sensation. Fuck this was amazing.

As if reading his mind, the other man lifted his thigh, as if it was air, and shifted again, slamming his hips into Hyungwon, moaning and cursing, lips sliding over his neck and shoulders, sucking on his skin. The fullness was intense, Hyungwon losing feeling in his fingertips, feeling delirious but wanting more.

“Fuck, fuck, just fuck me stupid Hoseok,” he panted senselessly, trying to meet every thrust and melting at the force with which Hoseok handled him, lips contrastingly gentle on his neck. The thrusts got faster, hitting inside of him harder, Hoseok’s body felt like fire against his skin, burning hot.

His orgasm was building up steadily, every thrust sending him closer and lower body constricting around Hoseok’s cock inside of him. “I’m close,” he mumbled and reached behind him to grab Hoseok’s hair in his fingers, pulling it lightly with every time the other man entered his body.

“I can't last much longer, you're driving me nuts,” Hoseok managed to press out between loud groans, fingers buried into the muscles of Hyungwon’s thigh. His endurance was remarkable, considering the fact that he held Hyungwon’s leg and slammed inside of him like a crazy person.

Hyungwon wasn’t able to hold out much longer, Hoseok’s voice kept going straight to his lower body and starting it’s own fucking firework.

“But you're such a good boy, fuck, you deserve everything,” Hoseok groaned while thrusting deeper if that was even possible at that point.

Pulling the other man’s hair one last time and screaming his name through the whole room he spilled his release and tried his best to not become boneless, enabling Hoseok to move without effort. Shit the other man was the best thing that ever happened to him. Fuck.

Hoseok came shortly after, pressing Hyungwon closer while riding out his orgasm. Leaving marks on his thighs, for sure. 

“Fuck, Hyungwon you're made for me,” Hoseok whispered, voice hoarse, body covered in sweat, panting and hot air hitting Hyungwon’s ear. 

Smiling Hyungwon stroked the other man’s hip and took his hand to place a soft kiss against the palm.

“How far?” he asked, curious why Hoseok would consider him ‘made for him’. What did that even mean? Bodywise? Then Hoseok’s dick was definitely made for Hyungwon’s ass but he sure as hell wouldn’t say that out loud.

“I feel complete when I'm with you and I feel empty when I'm not. And sorry for throwing possessive bullshit all over the place. Please ignore.” The low voice sounded so serious all of the sudden, breath still shaky, heart beating fast against Hyungwon’s back.

Hoseok constantly felt bad for no fucking reason. Being possessive was okay when it was true and mutual. Hyungwon was possessive all the fucking time and Hoseok didn’t mind that. It was time to fight the double standard.

“I feel the same Hoseok and stop saying sorry for fuck’s sake. I’m yours.”

A warm kiss, gently placed on his shoulder accompanied by fingers moving tenderly along Hyungwon’s sides, was the only answer before Hoseok pulled out and reached for the wet tissues. Hyungwon had almost forgotten until Hoseok just confronted him with being empty and covered in sperm, great. He wasn’t done here. He needed to hear it.

“Say it Hoseok. Say that I’m yours.”

“I'm yours,” the other man whispered and walked towards the bathroom after placing a couple of tissues in his hand. Hyungwon couldn’t help feeling furious. Why was Hoseok like this? He called himself possessive but wasn’t even able to say the most basic thing. Hyungwon wanted him to be possessive. Was Hoseok even capable of being jealous? Hyungwon didn’t know.

_You were the only one constantly ready to burn people like a witch as soon as they touched Hoseok._

Cleaning himself up and throwing the tissues into a garbage can under the bed Hyungwon threw himself back on top of the sheets, wondering why his alarm didn’t ring again. He grabbed it and turned it off in case it would decide to do so later and hoped that Hoseok wouldn’t evade him as soon as he came back. He felt sore, but nothing he couldn’t deal with and definitely not enough to keep him from asking Hoseok about his reluctance to call him his.

“Hoseok?” Hyungwon called towards the bathroom when the other man didn’t appear for a while.

“Mhm, I'm coming. I just brushed my teeth and stuff. Want to take a shower?” he asked, as if it was something they did for ages. It was domestic but this time Hyungwon didn’t feel creeped out by it, just calm at the way Hoseok was always so caring.

_Just that he apparently doesn’t consider you to be his. Who knows maybe he's even willing to share you like a piece of cheesecake, Hyungwon._

“Sure, you brought me into this state, so you better carry me around from now on,” Hyungwon declared and sat up, waiting for Hoseok to come out and do as told. “How likely is it that my ass is going to make sitting at the office hell?”

Hoseok walked into the room in his naked glory.

“I'm at your feet, your majesty.” He forgot to smile while saying those words and they seemed so serious. “And I actually wanted to show you something at my studio. I need your help. Do you really need to go to the office?”

Hyungwon was intrigued. Hoseok showing him something at his studio? Fuck yes. If that wasn’t something to skip everything for then he didn’t know what else was worth it. He tried to remember where his phone was, but had no fucking clue. Probably somewhere in his suit pants somewhere very far away.

“Mind giving me a phone?” he asked Hoseok instead. He was not fucking moving away from that bed unless Hoseok carried him somewhere.

“Later, let's shower first.” The other man closed the distance and picked Hyungwon up like a couch pillow, without any noise or sign of strain, carrying him to the shower, until he let him go, feet touching the black tiles. Hyungwon could have lived his life like that forever, if anyone would let him. Hoseok’s strength would be the death of him.

_Good things need to be said Hyungwon._

“Your strength is my kink Hoseok, shit. Just keep throwing me around and I’m forever yours.” He smiled at the other man, holding onto his waist.

“You're my kink. It's like a drug induced hallucination, you know that can't be real, but you still act as if it is.” A hand turned on the water and covered their bodies.

Hyungwon squealed like a girl at the cold until it turned warm, pretending it never happened right after. Shit, he hated freezing, so of course he screamed. He was never in the middle of the fucking shower for the first three seconds. He grabbed the shampoo, spilling some liquid on his hands, pretending to be very busy with shampooing his hair.

_If you do this long enough maybe he’ll forget your embarrassing moments._

“Come here.” Hoseok curled his arms around Hyungwon’s waist and pulled him closer, the other man's body burning from the strain of the past hour against his cold skin. Hyungwon loved Hoseok’s body and how considerate he was. Changkyun would have already pissed himself from laughter.

“You’re always so warm. I love it Hoseok.” Suddenly he remembered the club he was supposed to come to after making-up with Hoseok. “Are you actually going to the club today? Dancing with Changkyun and stuff?”

“Yeah, I can't say no to Changkyun. And I heard you're coming too so yeah. I really want to see you dance. Seriously.” Hoseok was determined but his gestures were the exact opposite. He cupped Hyungwon’s jaw and placed kisses all over his face, black bangs hanging into his eyes, everything around them covered in water.

Hyungwon had not been prepared for such beauty when he decided to date Hoseok.

_Date?_

Shit, were they dating? Have they decided on this now? Hyungwon brushed some of the hair out of Hoseok’s eyes and swallowed nervously. It was a stupid question, but even those had to be asked sometimes for clarity.

“This might be weird, but-” He looked to the side of the shower wall, watching a drop cross a line and disappear in a collection of water running down. “Are we dating?” The question was completely random and of course Hyungwon would dance for Hoseok, who was he to deny such requests, but he needed to get a few things straight for himself. After all this was important for knowing how to behave around other people.

Hoseok’s eyes widened and he stared at Hyungwon’s face. Water dripped down his eyelashes and his face so vulnerable, hand on Hyungwon’s shoulders. 

“I love you Hyungwon. I want to be with you no matter how you want to call it. I'm in for all of it,” he whispered, biting his wet lips.

_Holy fucking shit. You’re actually dating Shin Hoseok, a famous producer who is 50% the sweetest bunny alive and 50% dominant fuck and can lift people as if they’re air. Fuck._

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m dating you. Fuck. You’re amazing.” Hyungwon wasn’t quite sure what the bullshit leaving his mouth was but he needed time to deal with what that actually meant. He was going to kiss the shit out of Hoseok and not hide it from people. Except from the general public cause Hoseok was too fucking famous for this. Oh my god it was so much pressure, fuck.

_Everyone knows him Hyungwon. Love him, but don’t ruin his career._

_“_ I can't believe you think I'm worth it. Hyungwon why would someone like you want this?” He didn't know what happened, but Hoseok just stared, so emotionally involved, fingers tightly gripping his shoulders.

Hyungwon felt a little helpless, standing in front of him and being confronted with the raw feelings on Hoseok’s face. Why was the other man always so insecure about their relationship? Hyungwon had told him too many times that he felt the same. Did he really need a reason?

“You’re more worth than anyone I have ever been with. You mean the world to me. I mean it. Can’t you just accept it?” Hyungwon really didn’t understand why they constantly had to discuss this, convincing Hoseok of the reality.

The producer closed his eyes, small smile hushing over his face.

“I'm sorry, I just feel so much. I can't believe that someone like you can love me back, moreover willing to be with me. It's something like winning the lottery and thinking that it's some kind of weird dream, because real life is not like that.“

Hyungwon grinned.

“Guess I’m a jackpot then. You know, I changed my mind about you.” He took his favourite shower gel, moving Hoseok away from the water and began rubbing the amazingly smelling liquid into Hoseok’s muscles. “You’re not just muscles. You’re probably 50% raw emotions on top of that. Maybe even tears.” He laughed, pinching Hoseok’s nipple along the way. “I’m sure everybody loves you Hoseok. Just walking outside there are probably more than hundreds of women willing to deal with your antics. And me I guess.”

“They don't know me. Nobody knows me the way you do.” Hoseok hugged him, not giving a single shit about shower gel. He was such a peasant without any knowledge of proper shower conduct.

“Good that I’m your boyfriend then. Let me emphasize, y-o-u-r boyfriend.”

Hoseok had to get it eventually, didn’t he? Hyungwon was going to rub it under his nose until the words settled and were internalized enough for Hoseok to finally call him his.

_Because you already are, even if he doesn’t want to call you that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have realized from this Hoseok has a little issue with being possessive. Let's see how things go :)
> 
> Can't wait for your feedback!
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	26. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you, Hoseok." 
> 
> It still felt unusual to say it but the lawyer loved the clarity it gave him, Hoseok’s happy face the only feedback he required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, this chapter can be read in public <3

Dread was not something he was supposed to feel after the intense experience of being maximally intimate with the beautiful human that stood in front of him, asking if they were dating.

Water covered their bodies, flooding and dripping, blurring his sight, as he tried to find a reason for the tightening grip inside his stomach and an answer to the serious question.

_Are you dumb Hoseok? You better scream yes at him before he drops your irrational ass._

He told him the truth. He loved Hyungwon. He loved him so much, but he also felt confused, still unable to find balance between his own greed and selfless happiness. Hoseok wanted so much from Hyungwon and the other was genuinely willing to give it to him.

Was he allowed to be happy? Just like that, without thinking about consequences for Hyungwon? Barging into his life, putting his toothbrush next to Hyungwon’s and throwing his feelings all over his apartment, private and business life, just because he wanted to be happy? It didn't make sense.

Life was not Amazon. You couldn't just order happiness and get Prime same day delivery.

_You're dating Chae Hyungwon. You cried your heart out a couple of weeks ago because you thought you would never see him again, and now you're showering together and talk about relationship issues. Swallow your bitterness and be happy._

They were dating.

An immediate grin spread across his lips as he let his gaze slide over Hyungwon’s beautiful features. Hoseok scored on a whole new level. Not only was the ethereal human willing to tolerate his company, the beautiful man let him feel things he never felt before, body wise and emotion wise.

His life before they met resembled a book and Hyungwon was ripping out previous experiences page after page, replacing them with beautifully painted pictures, colours he never knew existed, motives he never saw before. The lawyer was making him into a new person. A better person. He liked himself more when he was with Hyungwon.

After dressing up and making coffee, Hoseok felt a lot calmer than before. He leaned against the kitchen counter sipping on the hot liquid, brushing his black bangs back and observing the other man.

Hyungwon ran around, looking like a meal, talking on the phone using his professional voice, probably to ditch work because of Hoseok. He caught himself at the wish to see the other man everyday, dropping by his office to bring food, drinking coffee together, brushing their teeth, going to bed and waking up.

_He asked you whether you were dating and you want to move in with him. Get your shit together Hoseok. You greedy bastard._

He swallowed the images down with the liquid, burning down his throat and leaving a bitter taste. He would take what Hyungwon was willing to give him and be fucking happy.

While driving to his studio the lawyer told him about an annoying client, that had obvious problems with logical reasoning and a 200 word vocabulary, making Hyungwon want to stab his eyeball, but forcing him to be patient because the other was rich as fuck.

Hoseok loved it. He felt euphoria spreading through his insides every time the other decided to share information with him. He found everything valuable and treasured it somewhere deep inside his memory. A huge partition that was dedicated to Hyungwon and everything related.

_‘I want to know everything about you again’. Your lyrics are on point Hoseok._

Walking into the building, so close to each other, was a first. The guard smiled brightly and lifted his hand to greet them both before they disappeared in the elevator.

“Can we rub the interior of the elevator with acid or something? I feel a little bitter about it,” Hyungwon commented and looked remotely uncomfortable.

Hoseok was oblivious. He forgot about Hobi’s confession almost immediately, busy with his own issues and feelings. Hobi would eventually get over it. They would need to talk of course but it could wait. Maybe it was even better if they didn't see each other for a while. He was thankful they recorded the track on the spot the day before.

“Well it wasn't explicitly dirty or something. I don't think it would help,” Hoseok answered the question, smiling brightly at the other man.

Hyungwon styled his hair such that the forehead was visible. It was Hoseok’s new religion.

“Your forehead. I love it.” He couldn't keep the admiration to himself.

Hyungwon cracked up.

“That's a weird compliment to make. What's amazing about a smooth surface? Unless you're old as fuck of course, then it's wrinkly.” As soon as the doors of the elevator closed properly he placed a short kiss on Hoseok’s lips. “I'll just continue doing this until there is no way that a trace is left. Like a fucking creep.”

Hoseok’s heart skipped a beat at the sudden display of affection and a smile hushed over his face.  
  
“Please,” he couldn't help commenting.

It was nice to have the other man in his studio again. Somehow it felt empty after Hyungwon had visited him there once and walked out, not coming back again. Only once to pretend to be his friend with all his might. The irony was obvious. The studio was the most comfortable place for him and he didn't want other people there, but Hyungwon was an exception. Hoseok wanted him to come, specifically. It was as if every space in his life needed to be filled with the other man. Everything he did, everywhere he was, greedily involving Hyungwon in his passion and routine.

Hoseok double-clicked the draft named ‘From Zero’ and turned around facing the lawyer, who was still sitting on the couch smiling widely without any apparent reasons.

“I'll show you something and I need you to listen and tell me what you think. It's the song I made with your melody and those lyrics I told you about.” Hoseok felt so nervous before turning it on in front of the other man. It was the first time and the lyrics were so intimate that he felt blush creeping up his cheeks.

Hyungwon’s eyed opened in surprise and the smile got wider as soon as the first beats started playing. He probably recognized the unfinished melody and few beats that Hoseok had played around with ages ago. The current draft was much more developed. As soon as Hoseok’s voice began singing the first few lines the smile disappeared, face turning towards Hoseok instead of empty air and pointing at him, mouthing ‘holy shit is that you?’.

Leaning further into the couch the lawyer bit his lip and focused on the lyrics, moving his lips from one side of his face to the other. Probably that’s what he looked like when he was concentrated. Pure amazement was next, eyes widening and and staring at Hoseok as if he had saved a city from extermination, eyes blurred and and disbelieving, lower lip sucked into his mouth. As the last notes of the song were playing Hyungwon released a deep breath he had apparently been holding.

“This is amazing Hoseok, shit. I can’t believe you’re letting me listen to this. Don’t make me emotional you dick, fuck.” The lawyer wiped a hand over his face, pretending to get something out of his eyes and sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.  
  
Hoseok felt happy, genuinely happy. It meant so much to him that Hyungwon liked the song. It was half Hyungwon’s melody and half his feelings towards the lawyer, pressed into those lyrics. A little childish, a little selfish, but still authentic.  
  
_But you need a low, sensual voice for the verses._  
  
Hobi had been so nice to show him some pre historical records of Hyungwon singing R &B back in high school. Hoseok remembered how hard it was to control his own facial expressions in front of Hobi, who was laughing and saying Hyungwon would’ve kicked him in the balls for showing that around.

Hoseok was greedy. There was something about him that not a lot of people knew. If he wanted something he would fucking get it, especially when it was related to working on music. He needed Hyungwon’s voice. It was perfect for the first verse and mingled beautifully with his own higher pitched one.  
  
“I’m happy that you like it and I’m going to release this song. Well, actually I was going to, but I can’t because something is missing.” Hoseok stared at the other man, a wide grin spreading on his lips.

The lawyer raised his eyebrows and smirked.

“Now that sounds very suggestive. What would that something be, oh mighty producer?”  
  
“Mhm I need some inspiration. What’s your favourite song at the moment? One that you sing while walking around or showering?” Hoseok was sneaky. He didn’t intend on spilling everything at once, thereby making the lawyer uncomfortable. He was pretty sure Hyungwon would’ve laughed and declined, bulshitting about not being able to sing to save his life.  
  
The other man stared at him, dead-on and serious expression on his face.

“Hoseok, I don’t sing while walking around or showering. Who do you think I am?” The other man seemed in thought though, probably contemplating a song he liked recently. “I like listening to Adele I guess. Especially recently. Also some R&B cause it’s smooth and I like dancing.”  
  
This went in a good direction. Hoseok stood up from his chair and sat down next to Hyungwon, tilting his head, not able to suppress a smile.

“Can you sing me a part? Like from the recent Adele song? ‘Hello, It’s me’ or whatever? Please?” Little did Hyungwon know about what Hoseok was willing to do to get his music right.

“What?” Hyungwon bent in half laughing like a maniac, the tips of his ears gaining some color in the process. His pitch increased significantly at the question, obviously shocked at Hoseok’s request despite chuckling about it. “You’re not expecting me to sing mother-fucking Adele right now are you? Why don’t you ask me for my rendition of Whitney Houston if you’re already at it?”  
  
Someone was shy, but it didn’t matter at all. Hoseok was shameless.

“Don’t you think it’s unfair? I showed you myself singing those lyrics I wrote about you, which is like level 100 of embarrassing and you can’t even sing a fucking line for me? I don’t even care whether it’s Adele or MC. Hammer, just sing it.” If he had to pull the guilt trap, he would. Without any regrets.

Hyungwon looked to his hands, gaze a little uncomfortable. Jackpot.

“But who told you to sing for me anyway? Seriously,” he mumbled, before groaning and sinking further into the cushions of the couch. “Then let me sing something simpler at least. Pillow Talk or something. Fuck my life.” There was a light blush on his face and he bit his lower lip, humming a little to warm up his voice.  
  
_Pillowtalk? Simple? What the actual fuck Chae Hyungwon?_  
  
The humming already did things. The low husky voice became a low soft one, sending vibrations through Hoseok’s body. He watched Hyungwon attentively, the way his mouth moved, eyes closed. He leaned in a little more to detect the sounds coming from those beautiful lips. Calmly Hyungwon sucked in a breath and began, voice loud.

“Climb on board.” He pulled the first line, singing lower than the original and keeping his eyes closed throughout. “We’ll go slow and high tempo,” he sang on, voice quieting down and soft at the edges. He was steady and held his notes without prematurely ending them or switching pitch. The longer he sang the more relaxed his posture was, small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. When he reached the chorus he completely let go, voice filling out the whole room, making ‘pissing of the neighbours’ literal had the studio not been soundproof.

Hyungwon loved it himself. It was obvious with the smooth way he led through the song, small gestures supporting the impression. Finishing the last notes of the chorus he tensed and opened his eyes.

“Fuck my life.”  
  
“Listen Hyungwon, I think you’re dumb,” Hoseok started not knowing what to say, overwhelmed by the beautiful voice. Those old records didn’t do him justice. The way he sang did things. It was so sensual and absolutely perfect for a part where it was important to pull the low tunes such that it didn’t sound heavy. “I need it,” he finished without giving Hyungwon any more information.

“What?” the lawyer asked, completely baffled. “You need what? Me? I think we kinda settled that this morning, didn’t we?” Hyungwon looked to the side sheepishly and brushed his hair back, removing a few strands that obstructed his forehead.  
  
It was remarkable how different Hoseok behaved and thought when he was working. Hyungwon made those comments and if they had been in his apartment the other would’ve been pinned against the wall already. Naked.  
  
“You listen well to what I’m about to say. I need your voice. It is the ‘something’ that is missing in my song. You need to take over some of the parts for me.” Hoseok was really close, staring in the lawyer’s eyes intently and partly intimidating, because this was about work. “I heard your voice before from those high school records, but the real thing is so much better. I don’t really care about your shyness or whatever bullshit you are telling yourself about not being able to sing, but you have to record those verses for me.”

Hyungwon gulped audibly.

“Hoseok, I understand but this is a song you intend on releasing isn’t it? Don’t you need a professional artist for this?” He looked uncomfortable asking, fingers playing with his shirt and curling it around his index finger. “You can’t just let someone like me sing it because you like me. Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?”  
  
He felt anger coming up. Unprofessional what? Hoseok was the producer, he decided. The only thing Hyungwon was right about was the release and Hyungwon’s name. But that was something that was easily solved.  
  
“I’m the producer of this song and I need a low sensual voice. You, sitting here on my couch happen to have this kind of perfect voice. I’m professional as fuck, because I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise.” He looked for something in Hyungwon’s facial expressions but didn’t find it and continued. “If I release it, we could give some bullshit name to you without people knowing that it’s you. Like marshmallow. I don’t now. Just so you wouldn’t be exposed to public interest.”

Hyungwon’s expression turned stern, nodding quietly at Hoseok’s words, listening carefully and obviously considering it.

“Alright,” he agreed, faster and more relaxed than expected. “I don’t care whether my name is on it or not, but it’s not going to be Marshmallow. What the fuck? That sounds cute and I thought we talked about this.” A smile was directed at Hoseok, blinding and closely followed by a wink.  
  
Hoseok almost melted but caught himself in time. A thought passed like a comet, not quite materialized but leaving a strange feeling behind. He was famous. His song would be most definitely popular too. People would be interested in Hyungwon and probably even pester him about it.  
  
“We’ll have to see how we can protect your identity. I was in work mode so I didn’t care about anything but my song,” he stated looking at the other, obviously worried. “Hyungwon? Did you know that I’m a little known outside of the locations we normally go to? Because those are picked carefully and mostly run by people I trust, so I’m not getting pestered. But yeah, I guess people kind of know me.”

The lawyer’s smile didn’t fade, no sign of worry detectable.

“It was kinda hard to miss that you’re famous as fuck Hoseok. Don’t let it distract you from your work mode. It’s hot.” Hyungwon sighed and stood up from the couch, walking over to the table and sitting down on it instead. “Shall we get to it then, since I’m already here?”  
  
The switch was flipped. Hoseok stood up and searched for his phone, fumbling all over the table, curling his arms around Hyungwon in the process, trying to grab it from behind the mixing machine. Once found, he called the engineers from the second floor to get a recording spot.

Hoseok was thankful for the fact that people knew him for once. It was one of the rare advantages of being famous. Stuff like that worked out perfectly. He leaned back and caught Hyungwon’s gaze, realizing the other was staring. After a couple of seconds it started making sense, because Hoseok just called from where he got his phone, arms still curled around the other man, pressed against his body. Multitasking was hard. Fuck.

“You know that you are fucking hot when you are being professional Hoseok? I’m not okay and still can’t believe you actually want me to sing on one of your tracks. Just keep in mind that it’s okay to take someone else if you don’t like the end result. I won’t be offended.” Hyungwon placed a kiss on Hoseok’s lips, sneaking his own fingers around his neck and hugging properly, hips loosely resting on the work table.  
  
“I’m such an emotionless asshole when I work, that it might happen. However I have an ear for good stuff, and you are definitely good stuff.” He smiled and kissed back. He couldn’t get worked up as they had a recording schedule coming up.

Hyungwon’s expression got serious all of a sudden. As if he only now caught up with his thoughts and needed to get them out of his system.

“Hoseok, since you are famous,” he began and toyed with the hair at Hoseok’s nape. “Isn’t it important for you to keep your love life secret?”

Hyungwon was smart. He must've thought a lot about those things and Hoseok owed him a honest answer. The truth was that he didn't care. He wasn't the main artist in most of the cases, so he could date whoever he wanted. The problem was always the partner. Media outlets loved stories like that and knew that he was perfectly fine thanks to Namjoon’s continuous efforts. Hyungwon, however, would've been pestered for sure, considering he was an excellent lawyer who was on tv before and the fact that their relationship fell into the minority section.

“I'm scared you could get hurt Won,” Hoseok managed to press out, mood changing in a matter of seconds, hands clenching to fists. “Fuck, I'm an idiot.”

Hyungwon looked worried, hand stroking the back of his head repeatedly.

“I'm a grown up person. Why are you scared that I might get hurt? Isn't this rather about you? Your career could suffer. I really don't want to be the reason for you not being able to do what you love. It sucks, trust me.” He looked so devastated, smile sad that Hoseok felt a spike of empathy in his chest, sadness flowing over to him.

“It’s not about me. I will be fine. I always am, but they will come for you if they know. And then it will be about your career. I'd love to be cheesy and tell you that I'll be protecting you, but I don't know how yet. I need to come up with something, shit.”

Hoseok was devastated. Why didn't he think about it earlier? Caring about his own happiness and what not, instead of making plans of how to save Hyungwon from the stuff that would rain down on him after their relationship went public.

“Maybe we should wait a little before we go all out. I need to make a good plan about what I'll do if the media decides to come for you.”

Hyungwon grinned and kissed his lips again, nibbling on the lower one with his teeth before mumbling his answer.

“As you wish Hoseok. We’ll do it as you deem fit. What does that mean for my behaviour?” His leg moved smoothly between Hoseok’s at the words, grin still in place.

“You'll be fine. It's me who needs a new brain with better control over facial expressions and advanced libido inhibition.” Hoseok felt his skin burning from the touch, insides tingling. His attraction to Hyungwon was simply sick.

The lawyer laughed at his answer and pushed against his shoulders until they were far enough apart for him to get off the table.

“Let's go record then, before they decide to ditch our reservation. And I can't help but be interested in your lawyer if he manages to keep all those stories off your ass.” He was already standing at the door, waiting for Hoseok’s sign to open it.  
  
Hoseok was right. He was almost always right when it came to his sense for music. Hyungwon was indeed a catch. The low stable vocals sounded through the recording studio and the engineers showered him with compliments. The other needed about twenty minutes to warm up and accommodate to the new atmosphere, other people sitting across the glass, watching and commenting. It was hard even for people with a lot of experience, but Hyungwon was professional. As if it was his domain from the start. It was mesmerizing.  
  
They were done after two hours, both recording their parts respectively. It was a weird feeling to sing while Hyungwon was staring at him from the other side with huge eyes and mouth slightly opened, but he somehow managed to not fuck up. That was probably similar to what Hobi felt when he recorded the track with him. He still didn’t write the dancer and he had no idea what to say either.  
  
Arriving at his apartment it felt like he wasn’t home for ages. So much had happened in between. So many things at once. All of them were related to the lawyer in different ways. Hobi confessing and kissing him in the elevator, Hyungwon being mad about it, them talking, crying, having sex.

They had sex, twice. Hoseok still couldn’t believe the beautiful man trusted him so much to let it happen. And most importantly, Hyungwon loved him back and they were dating, but he needed to be extremely careful handling the relationship, considering his disgusting fame.

It was really disgusting. All those people who were interested in trivial stuff for no apparent reason. Sometimes Hoseok asked himself what kind of people were getting off on the color of his underwear.  
  
Hoseok had another hour to get ready after taking a shower and throwing all the clothes into the laundry. He didn’t feel that excited for ages, not really knowing where the sudden mood change came from. Because it was the first time going out all together? The fact, that he had to be careful regarding his obvious reaction to Hyungwon? The possibility to go out with the other man, without any misunderstandings or hidden thoughts tainting the fun? He didn’t know for sure, but his heart beat like crazy as he stood in front of the mirror looking at his reflection.  
  
He needed a plan. A plan how to make their relationship public without a backlash on Hyungwon and his lawyer career.  
  
_Call Namjoon, he might know._  
  
“What did I do to get the honor to be called by Mr. Shin Hoseok,” Namjoon’s low voice sounded through the phone speaker, the other man pronouncing every word clearly, talking extremely fast. Yes there was a reason they wrote messages back and forth.  
  
“Listen, there is this thing. So I’m just asking out of curiosity. If I was in a relationship with someone. Like not the ordinary type of relationship and also not quite common, what should the significant other expect? And also regarding me. I mean do I have to make sure to tell you first and we make a plan or how is it going to work?” Hoseok felt like facepalming at least thrice during the embarrassing verbal fuck up.  
  
“Mhm, I see. Is it by chance Mr. Chae? The one who sent you a significant sum of money back, after I transfered it, with interesting references like ‘I hate you Hoseok. I’m not a fucking prostitute’ and ‘why did you change your number? Do you think I’m a joke?’ and what was the third? I think something along the lines of ‘I hope you choke on your own dick’?.” Namjoon chuckled obviously amused by the whole thing. Hoseok wanted to die. It was indeed Hyungwon and he hadn’t even looked at his bank account for the past month or more.  
  
“Uhm, it might be him. So what am I supposed to do? He’s a famous lawyer. I don’t want him to get hurt. Seriously. Namjoon I know that I can only trust you with stuff like that. You’re a fucking genius.” Hoseok was in pleading mode and nothing could stop him. The other man was exceptionally competent in those public relation issues.  
  
“The genius comment is actually not something I can personally relate to, but considering your question, I would indeed have some advice you should follow, in the case that you want to prevent your angry friend from having a hard time.” Namjoon gave Hoseok a much needed break of a couple of seconds before continuing. “It would be very smart of you to wait at least a couple of days before going public, as I would need to prepare announcements and contact relevant people in authority at the media outlets. You understand what I implied by going public Hoseok?” The low voice was asking a question and Hoseok almost spaced out, answering a little too late.  
“Yeah, like not announcing it,” he elaborated, not being able to come up with more examples.  
  
“No Hoseok. This implies, among others aspects, the strict absence of any kind of inappropriate body contact in public, as it could result in a scandal and the consequences would be much more difficult to deal with. But don’t be afraid. I will try hard to talk to the media as soon as I get those irrelevant bastards on the phone line. Just don’t do anything regrettable, do you understand me?” Namjoon asked, voice turning soft all of the sudden. They knew each other for so long and he helped him out quadzillion of times in all kinds of situations.  
  
_Yes besides the dick pick blackmail. That’s where all of it started_.  
  
“Joon, thank you so much. I’m so happy that I have you. I’m in love and I don’t want him to be hurt because of me.” Hoseok smiled into the phone although the other couldn’t see it.  
  
“Love is beautiful isn’t it? Just don’t lose your brain, because you need it to keep the love, believe me. I need to work now. I’ll write you if everything is cleared. We can talk about the statements later.” The man hung up.  
  
He needed to stay sane next to Hyungwon. This was important and Namjoon confirmed his thoughts. Good thing he gave the other a call. He could be publicly happy soon.  
  
_Yes and you were sulky because Hyungwon didn’t want to confirm your relationship in public. What kind of brainless asshat are you Hoseok?_  
  
Black tight turtleneck shirt, ripped blue jeans, a black suit jacket and black converse. He wanted to dance today, fabulous Hoseok would make an appearance tonight. The moves needed to be perfect, and comfortable clothing was an important point. He buckled up and started the engine. They agreed to go together so he was picking up Hyungwon and going by cab.  
  
Thoughts flooded his brain all of the sudden. How was he going to stay away from the lawyer? It seemed absolutely impossible. Hyungwon was so happy being together, dating and all this, and Hoseok was the bad guy, getting mad at him, literally crying and begging to make their relationship public. Now he was the bad guy who had to say that they needed to stay away from each other for the next couple of days. Fuck.  
  
_You know exactly that you will hate yourself if something happens to Hyungwon. You know that you will roll around in self pity not being able to forgive your own behaviour. Just get your shit together Hoseok. This needs to work out no matter what._   
  
_Hyungwon is willing to do everything just to be with you, and you’re afraid you’ll hate yourself._   
  
_You don’t deserve him._   


***

 

Stepping through the door to his apartment, quiet walls and the echoing sound of his own breath greeting him, Hyungwon felt strangely alone. He had always lived on his own so it was amazing how a few days of company were able to turn that around, furniture cold and uninviting instead of homely and warm. He hung up his coat and took off his shoes, grabbing them with his index finger and thumb and carrying them to his walk-in closet. He was definitely going to wear different shoes, something more casual but still elegant.

Saying that Hyungwon was excited was the understatement of the year. He was delighted, thrilled, on fire, impatient to finally bask in Hoseok’s company without any misunderstandings and hesitation. Hoseok was his in every sense of the word. Not only was Hyungwon able to touch him, feel him without fearing the consequences, but he also finally felt secure that Hoseok cared about him, more than anyone else and enough to make sacrifices.

Hyungwon’s emotional state was similar, passionate about their relationship and willing to fix every wrong he had committed until now. The list was long but the lawyer was determined to make it right, give Hoseok the attention he deserved and if the other desired to tell their friends that Hyungwon was his, then he would stand there and be his.

_Careful Hyungwon, Hoseok is famous, remember? Don't ruin his career because you're possessive and don't give a shit about others as soon as you accepted yourself._

The lawyer huffed in annoyance, imagining that he might have to hold back from kissing Hoseok when he wanted to. Just because a few obsessed idiots didn't know how to keep their nose out of other people's business. His fists clenched at his sides, realising how pressured Hoseok must have been before, hiding his relationships to protect his loved ones.

_Just that they were women and you are a man Hyungwon. It's kinda hard to unsee._

Laughing at how calm he felt with the thought he stalked to the kitchen and made a coffee. Better be awake if he wanted to dance the night away with Hoseok. Luckily, the producer had enough places he knew in which they could just be themselves, move their bodies and rile each other up furiously.

_Hoseok is going to die when he sees you Hyungwon. Go ahead and make sure of that._

Gulping down the espresso in one go, frowning at the bitter taste, Hyungwon entered his bedroom again, contemplating his clothing choice, striving for perfection. Hoseok and him were going to look like personified wet dreams. A giggle passed Hyungwon's lips at the image of women being bitter that both of them were taken.

_You'll have to tell your friends Hyungwon. No more secret meetings at home and dramatic crying at bars. Shit just got real._

The thought was much less terrifying than it had been just a few days ago. Hyungwon felt ready to scream into Minhyuk’s face to not touch his man if necessary.

_Wait until you're actually in the situation, Hyungwon. Don't get ahead of yourself._

It might have been sudden but Hyungwon wasn't worried. He wouldn't pussy out. He cared too much for that and was too determined to make it work. Changkyun had been supportive either way and just wanted them to settle everything so he wasn't forced to mediate and Minhyuk would just beg to be the bridesmaid as soon as he found out it was official now. The happiness he felt at knowing what he wanted and what he would do from now on was exhilarating, erasing all the worries of the last weeks.

Hyungwon grabbed his phone and typed a quick message to Hoseok, cheesy and embarrassing and was determined to pretend it wasn't him afterwards. Sending it off he threw his phone on the bed and fumbled through rows of tight jeans until he found a pair of leather pants he hadn’t worn for ages. This was fucking perfect.

_Sure, nothing better than fancy and hot Hyungwon. That's the kind of look you rock._

He took off his current pair of jeans and slid into the black leather, fabric squeezing around his thighs and calves just the right way, silver metal zippers garnishing his legs. Adding up to the look he chose a red silk shirt, tight but also loose in all the right places, emphasizing his slim waist without making him look too thin.

Adding colour to his face was the finishing touch, hair styled up and out of his forehead, just like Hoseok liked it. There was nothing holding him back from showing everybody that he wasn't available and neither was the home grown sex-on-legs coming with him.

When the doorbell rang Hyungwon almost sprinted to the door, skip in his step from all the excitement. It was very uncharacteristic but he didn't give a shit. Ripping open the door he smiled, just to be met with the surprised face of Minhyuk, lips turning into a grin. Hyungwon's smile must have turned upside down at the sight.

“You were expecting someone else I assume?” he asked and played with a few silver strands of his hair. His body was clad in something that might have been a spandex suit with how tight it was. “Let me try a lucky guess. Hoseok?”

Hyungwon rolled his eyes.

“Yes, he'll pick me up so I won't be coming with you this time. Don't take it personal please.” He blew Minhyuk a kiss which scared the other man enough to not resist it when Hyungwon closed the door in his face. “I'll see you at the party Minhyuk. Maybe we'll be nice and take you along in the cab. I'll write you!” he yelled through the door and hoped that Hoseok would arrive soon.

 _Fuck it's been less than three hours and you already miss him Hyungwon. Fucking how?_ _  
_

The lawyer mixed himself a gin tonic for liquid courage, making another one for Hoseok for when he arrived. He didn't actually need the courage, feeling comfortable in his skin and easily capable of telling people to go fuck themselves. As long as Hoseok could deal with his antics he was the happiest person out there.

Fuck he was such a sap.  
  
The doorbell rang again, but Hyungwon was smarter this time. He walked over to the hallway calmly, putting on his sexy face and opened the door with an easy swing of his hand.  
  
Hoseok smiled shyly at the sight and ogled Hyungwon from head to toes.  
  
“You are making my life incredibly hard Chae Hyungwon.” The other man grinned and walked in, taking off his shoes.

Hyungwon followed his form, being more discrete and checking him out while he was on the ground, back towards him. Shit he had been right about the sex on legs. Hoseok looked gorgeous, skin and clothes contrasting again and Hyungwon fought to raise his eyes to the other man's head instead of his firm ass.

“Literally or figuratively, Shin Hoseok?”  
  
A worried expression appeared on the other man’s face, while he was leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Actually I’m probably the one who’s ruining your life but yeah, we need to talk.” Hoseok’s eyes went to the other side, where he spotted the gin tonic, pointing at it in question.

Hyungwon nodded, gesturing at Hoseok to take it and couldn’t help the pure dread extinguishing the excitement he had felt. ‘We need to talk’ was never a good conversation starter.

“You’re not gonna tell me that you changed your mind right? We’re in the kitchen Hoseok. I have enough knives lying around.” He tried to add a light tone to his voice, compensating for the fear that numbed his limbs. A sip of the gin tonic did absolutely nothing to calm him.  
  
Hoseok massaged his temple while sipping on the drink, probably contemplating how to start.

“I talked to Namjoon. It’s my lawyer who handles all the media related topics, among other things. I told him about you and asked him what would be a good plan regarding the announcement of our relationship. He told me to wait for a couple of days so he can prepare everything. This means we can’t be close in public right now.” Hoseok breathed out after finishing his monologue, eyes trying to decipher the expression on Hyungwon’s face.

The lawyer didn’t really see the problem. Wasn’t that exactly what Hoseok had said before? That they should stay careful until he figured out a plan of dealing with the public backlash? Sipping on his gin tonic calmly he jumped up on his kitchen counter again, glancing at Hoseok with confusion.

“How is that different from what you told me before Hoseok? You said that you needed time to figure out the best course of action and all that. That’s perfectly fine for me.”  
  
“Yes, but how am I supposed to stay away from you when you’re looking like that?” Hoseok pointed at Hyungwon’s pants, a pained expression on his face.

The lawyer couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. Hoseok was really cute sometimes, acting like Hyungwon physically tortured him with his looks or something.

“You want me to wear a potato sack instead?” he asked with a grin and did what he always loved doing when Hoseok was around, riling him up. No one was there, so who would judge anyway? He spread his legs and bit his lower lip in invitation. He wasn’t planning on actually making out in his kitchen, but Hoseok’s face was so fucking worth it.  
  
“Two,” Hoseok answered while moving slowly towards him, the drink still in his hand. Freezing right in front of Hyungwon the other man placed his free hand on the clothed thigh. “Two potato sacks. One for the body and one for the face.”

Hyungwon cracked up so hard he almost fell off the counter, holding onto Hoseok’s shoulders for support and almost suffocating, stomach cramping non-stop. When he finally calmed down he kissed Hoseok’s lips shortly and pushed him closer with his long legs.

“So tell me, what are the consequences of having to wait? Not kissing in public? I can do that.”  
  
Hands curled around his waist and pressed him against the other man’s muscular body.

“We have to act as if we’re not that close and I’m not sure I can. I want to kiss you and touch you and show you around like the possessive asshole I am,” Hoseok commented quietly, fingers caressing Hyungwon’s back.

It was sweet how Hoseok seemed to be so affected by the restrictions to their relationship.

“It’s okay Hoseok. We kind of managed before didn’t we? Well you basically ran away, but that still counts.” Smiling against Hoseok’s lips he breathed in the sweet scent and tried to imagine not doing that in public. It was okay as long as Hyungwon could have him all other times.

_Wait, what if he means that you can’t touch him at the club today?_

Hyungwon’s eyes widened and he grabbed Hoseok’s face with his palms, lifting it such that they could look at each other properly.

“Wait, does that apply to today evening?” Hyungwon sure as hell hoped it didn’t because he spent the last hour basking in the happiness that the thoughts brought him.

 _Oh no._  
  
“It does. It’s not our location. I feel like dying already.” Warm lips caught Hyungwon’s in a deep kiss, not wanting to let go.

_Shit._

Hyungwon wanted to stab an unlimited amount of people and even Hoseok’s kiss couldn’t keep him from it. What was it with idiots and their trivial obsessions? Hoseok was a producer, not a fucking sandwich. He kissed back, but couldn’t help showing how upset he felt.

Dancing with Hoseok had been the highlight of his night, enjoying the other’s company without conflicts and hurting each other. Now they were forced to pretend to be friends, and probably not Minhyuk-like friends but actual ‘bro’ friends. Not touching and dealing with other people coming onto them. Shit Hyungwon was going to need more than one gin tonic for this.

“I see,” he replied and moved Hoseok to the side to slip off the counter, immediately mixing another gin tonic. “Do you think we can take Minhyuk along in the cab? I think he’d like that being the needy kid that he is.”  
  
“Sure.” The mood was weird and Hoseok pulled his phone out to call a cab.

_You’re going to fucking hate it Hyungwon and there is nothing you can do about it._

 

___

 

Hyungwon couldn’t help but feel bitter as he entered the club. Hoseok had kissed him senseless before they left but that didn’t compensate for a whole night of staring at him from the side, unable to do anything but talk to him about irrelevant things and unable to get close enough to actually hear what he was saying with the loud music killing his ear drums.

Changkyun was already having the time of his life, dancing PPAP on the dance floor and waving at them to join him. But Hyungwon couldn’t be stuffed, chilling at the bar instead and inhaling the Mojito Hoseok had ordered for him (and a few other people). Minhyuk was already hanging on Hoseok’s shoulders, asking him shitloads of questions that Hyungwon couldn’t hear, probably inappropriate from Hoseok’s facial expression and the way Minhyuk kept winking at the lawyer.

He hated everyone, including Hoseok (a little bit) for forcing him to go through this. Why couldn’t they at least dance together or something? Pretend it was fun and all. Everyone else was being touchy with Hoseok, why couldn’t Hyungwon be too? How was being too touchy defined? No one fucking told him what was too risky and what wasn’t.

Fuck.

Changkyun’s grinning face blocked Hoseok’s beautiful form on the dance floor from his sight. Even his friends were out to make him miserable today.

“What do you want Changkyun?” he huffed, sipping on his cocktail and closing his eyes for a few seconds at the annoying baseline.  
  
“I don’t know if you’ll be able to go against Hobi with that annoyed face of yours. He’ll be here in a bit and will most definitely dance and you know exactly what happens when Hobi dances. So you better swallow the sulkiness and go get Hoseok.” The man grinned at him, as if it was some kind of joke Hyungwon didn’t understand.

_Fuck._

Fucking hell. Of all the times Hobi could have picked to appear in front of Hyungwon now wasn’t a good one. What the hell was Hyungwon supposed to do? He wasn’t allowed to scream at him and tell him that Hoseok was his. Fuck, there was nothing he could do except for watching the damn show.

_Hobi is going to be all over Hoseok and there is absolutely nothing you can do, Hyungwon._

Shit he wanted to scream in frustration.

“I can’t do anything Changkyun,” he growled and emptied his cocktail, placing the glass on the bar to be carried away. “Hoseok told me not to touch him so I fucking can’t, okay?”

That was only half the truth but Hyungwon wasn’t sure whether the ‘pretending to be friends’ applied to their friends so he had to be careful about his words. He ripped Changkyun’s cocktail out of his hand and drank that one as well, ignoring the germs and the fact that he hated sex on the beach.  
  
The man stared in disbelief and wanted to ask something, but Hobi’s face appeared behind him, smiling and looking like he was the fucking sun. As always. Hyungwon needed a fucking fire extinguisher or something.  
  
“Heeey, Hyungwon, didn’t know that you were coming too! That means we can remember old times!” Hobi was excited for no reason, jumping him and tightening his arms around Hyungwon, as if they were best friends or something.

_You were Hyungwon. A long time ago._

The lawyer forced himself to smile, hugging back and grimacing at Changkyun in the process, such that Hobi couldn’t tell.

“I’m not sure I’ll be dancing Hobi, but I’ll think about it,” he remarked, unwilling to lose himself today. Dancing always did things to his brain that weren’t appropriate for the restrain he had to present.  
  
The other man smiled but his gaze went to the dancefloor where he probably spotted Hoseok.

“Mh, there he is. I’m going to say hi, see you later.” Hobi turned around and went directly into Hoseok’s direction, fast steps increasing the distance to Hyungwon’s miserable self.

_Why can he go over there and talk to him and you can't?_

Luckily he disappeared before Hyungwon had to answer with a blatant lie, wishing for him to enjoy himself or some bullshit like that. He knew that he should've just stared at his hands or into the depths of another cocktail, but he couldn’t resist following Hobi’s movements and watching him interact with Hoseok. Appearing like he was interested didn’t do any harm, did it?  
  
It did, as he had to endure Hobi approaching Hoseok from behind, giving him a fucking back hug while whispering in his ear. Hoseok turned around as if burned but it didn’t make it better at all. Hyungwon hated them both for making him feel this way. Hoseok was supposed to spend time with him and not dance with Hobi, someone who was able to gain the attention of everyone around him as soon as he began moving his body.

The lawyer’s fingertips tingled around another cocktail the bartender placed in front of him. He had no idea where it came from but he also didn’t really care, taking a sip and feeling the liquid burning down his throat, leaving a line of fire in its wake. He must have looked like he needed it.

Hyungwon really wanted to dance.  
  
Suddenly his boyfriend’s figure appeared out of nowhere, taking away his glas, glancing at him in worry.

A reverse Hoseok.

“Hey, you have to be careful. It’s your forth and I don’t think that your body can handle that much.” Hoseok was absolutely sober, what the actual fuck?

Hyungwon just nodded. If the other man wanted him to stop drinking then he of course was going to do that, being the good and oh so obedient boy that he was. After all he spent the whole fucking night doing what Hoseok told him to do, not touching him for example and pretending to be his friend, his really pissed and frustrated friend but still a friend.

 _He can't help it either Hyungwon, cut him some slack._  
  
“Are you okay Won?” Worried expression painted on the other man’s face he looked so caring and tender, not like a friend, not at all. Did Hoseok even know what he was doing? How could he be sober and look at Hyungwon like he was everything that mattered, fuck. The lawyer needed to get away to not nullify all of their previous efforts.

“I’ll be on the dancefloor if you need me,” he called over the music and moved through the crowd, not giving a shit if he accidentally pushed someone. He was going to dance and no one was going to stop him.

Arriving at a relatively empty spot he took a few valuable seconds to listen to the beat of the song, develop a feeling for the type of music he was dealing with before he began moving his body, waves coursing through his body and transforming into rough movements of his arms and legs, emphasizing the stronger base tones. He hadn’t danced for a long time and the feeling it evoked in him plastered a smile on his face. He genuinely forgot his worries for a few minutes until two figures joined him, catapulting him back into the pressure he felt around Hoseok.

Hobi was dragging Hoseok with him by the hand. The producer looked like a sad scared puppy while Hobi just started dancing taking everybody's breath away, not waiting for the producer to join him.  
  
“Shit, Hoseok it’s one verse! We have to dance this one. I bet your body remembers.” Hobi smirked at the other man and started moving his hips, slapping Hoseok’s shoulder, asking to join him. The producer did as asked after waiting a couple of seconds spent pointlessly staring at Hyungwon’s moving limbs.

 _Since when does Hoseok listen so fucking well to other people’s requests? Dick._  
  
They were so in sync it was crazy, Hoseok getting every move right, more smooth and not as precise as Hobi, but in a different style and so astonishing. Hyungwon was mesmerized enough to stop dancing himself, standing around helplessly while being surrounded by a crowd, cheering at the spectacle in front of them.

Hoseok’s body was out of this world, sweat running down his temple and smooth movements alternating with sharp breaks of the song. It was a paired choreography, Hobi getting impossibly close to Hoseok, brushing his arms, his legs, thighs in the process.

Touching what belonged to Hyungwon as if it was his fucking right.  
  
He couldn’t breathe, jealousy numbing his body and unbearable weight pressing down on his head, nails digging into his palms and the wish to just rip Hoseok away from the other man, dancing with him instead, rushing through his mind like a hypnotising chant.

There was nothing that he wanted more than Hoseok next to him, touching him instead of Hobi. The intimacy of the two dancers was difficult to bear, concentrated expressions and smirks gracing their features, melting to the sound of the music.

Hyungwon didn’t know how long he was able to handle the fake friendship they were acting out. He was conflicted between wanting to grab Hoseok and press him to his body and beating the shit out of Hobi for jumping his boyfriend like a piece of meat. Fuck.

 _Exactly Hyungwon. He’s yours. What are you even doing, standing here doing nothing?_   
  
The song finished and Hoseok stood on the dancefloor, bending in half catching his breath while Hobi patted his back mumbling something about him being out of practice. A pair of eyes stared at Hyungwon, as if Hoseok was trying to tell him something without opening his mouth.

_What is he trying to tell you? That he’s sorry? Would be very much like him, wouldn’t it? Why was he constantly doing things to be sorry for if he hated it so much?_

Hyungwon clenched his jaw, anger pulsing through his veins and killing every rational thought in it’s wake. Why wasn’t Hoseok pushing the hand away? Hobi had no right to be touching him like that. No fucking right.

_Just get out Hyungwon. Get some fresh air, calm down before you slap one of them. Or both._

Ripping his gaze from the two men on the dancefloor Hyungwon stared right ahead towards to exit and focused on nothing but the black door and the bouncer in front of it. He was just gonna go through the back exit and stand there for a little bit and calm his thoughts.

The club was full, crowd pushing towards the middle where Hobi was probably showing some more choreographies. Hyungwon appeared to be the only one who wanted to be on his own for a little bit.

_Well everyone else wants to dance and get drunk instead of jumping their boyfriend although they aren't allowed to._

Hyungwon laughed at himself, already feeling much more peaceful when the cold air hit his nose. He wouldn't be able to stay long without a jacket, body freezing in a matter of seconds, but it was better than nothing. He leaned against a sidewall and inhaled, closing his eyes.

He wouldn't have to survive this for long. Just a few days until Hoseok settled everything. Why was it so hard?

 _Because you're one of the most jealous people out there Hyungwon. Deal with it._ _  
_

The black door swung open and a familiar figure appeared, black turtleneck shirt and blue ripped jeans. Hoseok stared at him with huge eyes, coming closer.

“What's wrong Won, are you not feeling well? Should we go home?” Fingers closed around his underarm while Hoseok’s body seemed incredibly close. So much to calming down and fighting his urges.

The lawyer couldn't resist and curled the fingers of his right hand around the other man's underarm in response, pulling him closer until he was right in front of him, only centimetres separating them.

“It's hard not to scream at everyone to stop touching my man,” he replied with a smile, breathing against Hoseok’s face. It was so cold that fog was rising between them as soon as his words hit the air.

Hoseok closed his eyes and sighed.

“Fuck, you're having a hard time because of me. Let's just go home. I don't care,” he spoke quietly, barely audible, while a hand went up Hyungwon’s shoulders, stroking up and down his arm. “You're freezing aren't you?” The other man came even closer, pressing the warm body against him, curling his arms around his waist.

Hyungwon couldn't help but smile, worries dissipating with the cold at the glowing warmth around him. He lifted his hand to stroke the other man's beautiful face, finding a spot to rub over repeatedly. He grinned.

“You should shave better.“ Unable to resist he pressed a short kiss on the area, skin hot against his cold lips.

“I can't handle you if you're upset. It feels like ripping my heart out.” Hoseok leaned in and caught Hyungwon’s bottom lip with his teeth and licked into his mouth, forcing the lawyer further against the wall with his chest.

Hyungwon was glad that he didn't have to hold himself up, too tipsy to do it properly without melting in Hoseok’s arms. The producer had the amazing ability to let Hyungwon’s anger dissipate in thin air, body relaxing and happiness spreading in his mind. He had hated him for having to deny his own feelings, but now there was nothing but adoration left for the other man, arms curling tightly around his neck.

Hyungwon didn't care. There was nothing keeping him from touching Hoseok when he wanted to. What were people capable of doing anyway? Everyone was free to love whomever they wanted to love.

“I love you Hoseok,” he whispered into the other man's ear when their lips separated. Hands stroked his back and neck, relaxed and tender smile gracing his lips.

It still felt unusual to say it but the lawyer loved the clarity it gave him, Hoseok’s happy face the only feedback he required.

Hoseok belonged to him just like Hyungwon was his and everyone else could go and fuck themselves and stop caring about their business.

For once Hyungwon felt like he started making the right decisions when it came to Hoseok.  
  
_Finally_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be uploaded Sunday evening. Shit will hit the fan. Look forward to it :) Especially since we are moving into the last few chapters.
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	27. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon was so talented. So sensible and talented at saying things that made him flush his brain down the fucking toilet. Who in his right mind would’ve said stuff like that in his face?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for a nice mix of genres?

The whole evening was a giant mess.    
  
Hoseok didn’t understand what had made him think it was a good idea to bring Hyungwon, who was not allowed to act naturally, into a huge human feast. Moreover in a location that was not run by his friends. He had looked angry since the moment he had told the lawyer they had to be careful and his facial expression hadn’t changed much since then. Only the intake of high percentage alcohol had increased over time and made Hoseok worry, not drinking himself, monitoring every movement of the other, without being too obvious.    
  
If that alone hadn’t been enough, a Jung Hoseok decided to appear out of nowhere, greeting him in the most inappropriate way possible and semi-forcing him to dance the sensual choreography they had learned years ago. Hoseok wanted to decline, but he couldn’t. Hobi had already asked stupid questions about his and Won’s relationship and he wasn't ready to handle more. 

Not today, today he had to pretend he was not involved. For Hyungwon, who probably wanted to burn them all.    
  
It was heart wrenching to look at the beautiful man, who just stood on the dancefloor looking at Hoseok and Hobi dancing, something dangerously angry mixed with genuine sadness painted all over his facial expressions, his hands hanging down his sides.    
  
Hoseok wanted to go there, he wanted to stop dancing, to close the distance and hug him, kiss his lips while curling his arms around the other man’s waist and whisper in his ear that it was all his, Hoseok’s fault and that everything would be okay.    
  
But he couldn’t.

The only thing he could do was staring at Hyungwon’s face and being sorry for all the mess he created with his selfish greed.    
  
How were they going to continue like this?   
  
Hoseok couldn’t handle seeing him sad. It ripped his heart apart. He wanted to cry and it was just a simple club evening. Those huge brown eyes were staring straight at his face and something different mixed into the expression, something that Hoseok didn’t see in Hyungwon before. He panted heavily after the straining choreography but the feeling of guilt didn’t leave him, until it became unbearable and he realized what the difference was.    
  
_ Hyungwon was hurt. _ __  
__  
He wanted to do something, anything, just so the other would feel better, but the tall lean figure just turned around without any further comment and walked towards the back-exit. 

The prominent feeling of dread spread through his body, limbs still worn out from intense dancing. He moved automatically, fast steps trying to close the distance, but Hyungwon still walked ahead of him before disappearing behind the door. 

_ What do you want Hoseok? What are you going to do if he leaves you for good? Just get him and hate yourself later.  _

The tall elegant figure leaned against the wall, head thrown back a little, breathing in and out harshly, warm air leaving a trace in the cold autumn night, disappearing and dissolving like Hoseok’s resolution to stay away. 

Shit, Hyungwon was so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful that it hurt. Hoseok heard himself asking something he didn't think- and also didn't care about because all his mental resources focused on was the way the other man shivered in the cold. 

His mind gave up and he closed the distance, not caring about anything but the thin body between him and the wall, velvety skin of his cheek and those plump lips, feeling so cool against his.

_ Later. You can hate yourself later _ . 

“I love you Hoseok.” The low voice sounded almost like a desperate prayer, long fingers holding onto his sides, barely perceptive, those big eyes searching for something and apparently finding it in Hoseok’s face. 

_ Fuck what are you going to do now.  _

_ You're lost.  _

_ You were lost from the start. _

“Let's go home Hyungwon,” he heard himself say and grabbed the cold hand. He turned around and went back into the moist heat of the establishment, just to leave out of the front door after getting Hyungwon’s jacket, accompanied by a couple of visibly surprised gazes. He couldn't care less about all the people including his friends. The only thing on his mind was the cold hand, clenching around his as if he was the ultimate salvation. 

They had never been that silent before, none of them spoke a word in the cab, the elevator or when the door to his apartment opened and they got rid of their shoes. It was as if they didn't need to, as if everything was clear.

_ You are lost in him and he's lost in you.  _

He walked over to Hyungwon who inspected the books sorted orderly on the white shelves and took his hand, slowly squeezing it.

“You know Hyungwon, you telling me that you love me is supposed to make me calm and happy. It totally makes sense to me. But why am I so scared then?” 

The lawyer turned towards him, chewing on his cheek in concentration before his eyes found Hoseok standing next to him, gaze sad and the lawyer grasped his hand tightly in his. 

“I'm sorry Hoseok. I ruined it.”   


His eyes shut to let the stabbing pain fade without having to look at Hyungwon’s facial expression that made it worse. He felt like crying and it was pathetic. Nothing really happened, but hurting the other like that was so new and so incredibly painful that he wanted to get rid of the feeling by any means. 

“You have never done anything wrong Hyungwon. The only one you can blame for everything is me. You're caught in this whole mess because of me and I'm so sorry. I want and I will do anything for you.” He paused for a couple of seconds trying to swallow down the bitter feeling of cowardness. 

“Please stay with me,” he added almost without a sound and it was so selfish and pathetic that it hurt.    
  
Hyungwon squeezed his hand intently, it was almost painful. A soft sigh left his lips, but it wasn't the type you release when you are desperate, rather it sounded like Hyungwon was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. 

“I'm not going anywhere Hoseok. You won't get rid of me that easily,” the lawyer said, pronouncing everything very clearly, opposed to his usual style and placing his free arm around Hoseok’s waist. “Saying that I haven't made any mistakes borders on first class bullshit Hoseok. I was the blind one. I was the one who left you in your studio. I was the one to make wrong conclusions and lastly it has also been me who was unable to pretend to be your friend without wanting to kill someone.” He spoke the words calmly, but the guilt the other man felt at his mistakes was audible even if Hoseok hadn't seen his face. 

“You're ripping me apart do you know that? I feel like dying when you tell me stuff like that, because I know exactly that I was the one to approach you and confuse you and make you suffer. You getting hurt feels like someone shot me in the face. Seriously.” Hoseok ended his monologue while closing his eyes at the agonizing sensation, meaning of the words connecting with images, building up a big picture of how much of a greedy asshole he was.

“Open your eyes and fucking listen to me Hoseok.” Hyungwon sounded genuinely angry, hands leaving Hoseok’s hand and waist and grasping his jaw. The lawyer was staring at his face, brown eyes big and without a hint of amusement. “I don't regret a fucking thing, do you hear me? If anybody would ask me now if I'd prefer to return to the time I hadn't met you, forgetting everything and continuing the way I had before, I'd scream ‘no’ at them.” 

The tension suddenly left Hyungwon’s shoulders and he chuckled lightly, looking towards the ceiling before focusing on Hoseok’s eyes again. 

“I'm saying this after wanting to burn everyone who touched you in the club and feeling fucking helpless, so you better believe me.” Plump lips found Hoseok’s, still holding his jaw in place and licking along his lower lip before finally letting go, hands remaining on his shoulders. “Don't feel guilty and remind me how much you love me instead, so I can forget those poor excuses of human beings and my inability to sue them for entering your private space, which is mine alone by the way,” Hyungwon whispered against his lips, features relaxing and finally abandoning the tension of the evening.    
  
Hoseok smiled at the outburst of jealousy that was so unlike Hyungwon. Or maybe it was exactly how he was like. He wanted to know everything about the other man, every single emotion and reaction, every bit of thought that the other would let him see. He kissed those lips he missed the whole evening, remembering how hard it was to hold back, little did Hyungwon know about his struggles to keep himself as far as possible.    
  
“I love you so much. So fucking much that I’m offering myself on a plate for you. Take everything you want from me,” Hoseok whispered with a smile on his face, pressing the clothed body closer, nose finding the crook of Hyungwon’s neck and sucking in the intoxicating scent of his perfume, spreading in his nostrils, making him lose his mind even more. 

“I love you too Hoseok and now stop being so self-sacrificial and kiss me senseless.” Hyungwon smelled Hoseok’s hair and hugged him back, mirroring the intensity with which Hoseok held him. “Or I’ll kick your ass to Mars.”   
  
It was so funny how the other man acted sassy all of the sudden, Hoseok seemed to have a thing for competitive behaviour. Working out must’ve been good for something. Manhandling Hyungwon for example. He leaned in, pressing the lawyer further into the wall, nasty grin spread across his lips while rolling his hips against the other man.    
  
“Mh, I don’t know if you can though.”

Hyungwon obviously wanted to say something, but his lips closed as quickly as they had opened before, eyes widening at the pressure against his crotch. Gasping once and looking to the ceiling he got himself under control again.    
  
“Shit, where did hot Hoseok suddenly come from?” he gasped and pressed himself a little further against Hoseok instead of plastering his body to the wall. “But hi there.”    
  
“I’m always hot Hoseok, you just don’t realize because you’re busy wanting to burn other people for touching me.” He realized how incredibly tensed he’d been in the club, looking at Hyungwon in those illegal pants, annoyed facial expression and arrogant gaze. He loved it. He loved it so much that he wanted to go there and scream that the lawyer was his.    
  
_ But he’s not yours. _

True. Hoseok almost forgot that he should just be happy as long as the other liked him, trying not to become greedy, although he already was.    
  
It was too late.

“You know that I’ve never been so sexually attracted to someone, like I am to you? It’s fucking sick. I had major trouble concentrating and I didn’t drink so I wouldn’t just go to you and behave like the mad person I am,” he whispered against Hyungwon’s ear, remembering how he washed his face in the restroom a couple of times, to get his shit together. 

Hyungwon’s eyebrows rose as he looked to the side, smile thinning his lips.    
  
“But why?” he asked, curiosity clear as day and gaze finally returning to Hoseok’s face after its excursion of insecurity through Hoseok’s apartment. “Why are you so attracted to me? You weren’t in love with me from the beginning were you? So why would you be so attracted?”   
  
He thought about it for a bit. Actually he had been sexually attracted to Hyungwon after they first met. It had been something about him that hadn’t let him live in peace. Hoseok also knew that he liked him pretty fast, it was, as cheesy as it sounded, as if Hyungwon was the one.    
  
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after I drove back home from our meeting. The first one. I also knew that I liked you after a couple of times meeting you, and most definitely after you let me touch you back then. I don’t know why. I think it’s a thing with your personality. The way you look mixed with the way you behave and the way you think. Everything about you drives me crazy.” 

Hyungwon stared at him and obviously looked taken aback by the answer.    
  
“On your way home from our first meeting? Sorry I kinda can’t get over that right now.” He just stared at Hoseok, still leaning against the wall and blinked repeatedly. “You were a cocky little shit and insulted my dick size Hoseok. And after that you went home and kept thinking about me? What the actual fuck?”   
  
“Yeah I didn’t like it either. I didn’t want to think about you but I did. Something about your behavior got me hooked and I couldn’t stop. And I held back pretty well until this one time you were in my apartment like a crazy person. I wanted to scream at you to run the fuck away from me.” Hoseok smiled at the sudden recollection. 

Hyungwon laughed.    
  
“I don’t mean to disappoint you Hoseok, but you did indeed kinda scream at me to run away while I still could and pointed out that you couldn’t handle me.” A quick kiss was placed on Hoseok’s lips and Hyungwon rested his hand on his thigh, moving up and down the firm muscles, squeezing with his fingertips. “What do you mean about my behaviour contrasting with my looks though?”   
  
“I don’t mean a contrast. I mean that you’re a sassy asshole Hyungwon. And you look so fucking beautiful. People would probably start crying just because of your face. Your body is perfect. You’re tall and lean. You weigh nothing. I love it.” Hoseok emphasized his words by stroking the other man’s cheek, his chest and way down to the hipbones. 

“On a scale from one to ten, how weird is it to get hard at cheesy compliments? Where one is ‘do it everyday bro’ and ten is ‘dude you need help’.” Hyungwon smiled.   
  
“On a scale from Changkyun’s sexual partners to Minhyuk’s amount of sex toys, how weird is it to get hard in a club because of your boyfriend looking like he will burn people alive?” Hoseok laughed in his face, not able to hold it in anymore. Hyungwon’s expression lit up like a firework at the word ‘boyfriend’, face so incredibly soft. 

“I’m not sure what I love you more for, being sexually attracted to my psychopathic tendencies or dissing Changkyun’s sad love life,” Hyungwon commented and slid his hand inconspicuously from Hoseok’s thigh over his crotch, jeans like a second skin and barely concealing anything.   
  
That was the last drop of his patience, floating away somewhere far beyond Hoseok’s sight, as he pressed Hyungwon against the hard surface, muscles flexing at every movement, eyes narrowed and ready to snap.   
  
“You. You make me go absolutely nuts with this sadistic teasing behaviour of yours,” Hoseok hissed, while thanking his jeans for leaving a little more space than other less comfortable exemplars he owned. The lawyer didn’t comment and just squeezed his crotch, smile still in place and licking over his lips quickly, watching Hoseok’s reaction as if it was the most interesting spectacle in the world. His other hand slid to Hoseok’s neck, keeping him as close as possible.   
  
“Mhhm, must be nice.” A barely audible moan left his mouth while the teeth already abused his lower lip. “Must be nice to know exactly what my weak points are and using them all against me at once,” Hoseok finished the sentence by sucking in a breath and propping himself against the wall.

Hyungwon’s pupils changed, following every little movement of Hoseok’s body, eyes switching from one eye to the other, to his mouth, to the way his chest rose and fell rhythmically. 

“You have no idea how you look to other people Hoseok,” he breathed, fingertips massaging with one hand and digging into the skin with the other. “You’re fucking gorgeous. Fuck my life.”   
  
His whole body tingled, the spikes shot through every axon, those eyes staring at him and the sensation of nails digging into his skin the only things he could perceive. The red silk shirt hugging the lean chest, contrasting with the velvety skin made it unbelievably hard to suck in air and his lungs hurt. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful. I want you. I want you so fucking much it burns everything inside,” Hoseok managed to press out, much to his own surprise.  
  
Hyungwon looked mesmerized, brushing raven-black hair away from Hoseok’s eyes, fingers shaking at the movement. The lawyer swallowed, blinking several times in order to collect his wits, body basically melting into Hoseok’s already. 

“Then take me Hoseok. You know that I’m yours.”   
  
Hyungwon was so talented. So sensible and talented at saying things that made him flush his brain down the fucking toilet. Who in his right mind would’ve said stuff like that in his face? But it was too late for any kinds of thought anyway as the overwhelming feeling of dominance flooded his brain, replacing the blood in his veins and the air in his lungs.    
  
Hoseok let his hands sink to his sides while wearing the most nasty smile he was capable of and moved slowly away from Hyungwon, approaching his minibar, as if it was the most natural thing to do. After looking at the selection of the expensive alcohol he decided to take a Hennessy X.O., acting absolutely unimpressed by the lawyer, who was still leaning against the wall with his mouth open. 

“What the…,” he began and finally separated his slim body from the wall, confusion and frustration like the title of a book written in bold on his face. “Do you need alcohol to sleep with me or something?”   
  
“Yeah.” Hoseok grinned like an asshole, pouring a double shot in the black crystal glass. “You shouldn’t drink though since you’re good for the next couple of weeks I guess.” His smile didn’t fade as he looked at Hyungwon’s expression intently, observing every move.    
  
“That’s probably true considering how unstable my legs feel, but I’m not sure how much of that are the three cocktails and how much is my uncontrolled anger at you for fucking off,” Hyungwon elaborated and walked over to the living room, not kidding about his lack of stability, stumbled a little and finally threw himself on the couch, lying down, crossing his legs and draping an arm over his eyes.   
  
“Oh you want to lie down? Are you tired? Well you can I guess. I wanted to show you my drink.” Hoseok walked over and sat down holding the glass directly into Hyungwon’s face. “Do you see that?” He smirked and twirled it around some more. “That’s how much time you have until I’ll snap.” He stood up, walked over to the armchair and sat down. 

Hyungwon’s eyes were gigantic, alternating between Hoseok’s glass and his own body lying on the couch before he scrambled up in record time and ran out of the living room like a mental person, almost slipping on the smooth wooden floor. It was hilarious as Hoseok could hear him curse from the bathroom before the door was shut with a loud bang, echoing through the apartment. Even the drink in Hoseok’s glass slithered to the edge.   
  
Yes he was going to be patient, sipping on the burning liquid and waiting for the beautiful man to come back. His fingertips were tingling and the tension in the pit of his stomach increased instead of fading at the absence of his ultimate thirst trigger. He breathed in and out hoping to calm down a little, thinking about the lawyer, repeatedly telling him that he was his. No he was not. Hyungwon was not and he would never be. At least that was what Hoseok thought. 

He closed his eyes and breathed out.

The door to the bathroom opened and he could perceive the slow steps that Hyungwon took to return to the living room, barely making any noise on his apartment floors. When the soft thuds were close enough Hoseok looked up, just to see Hyungwon walking over to the couch and sitting down on the armrest, dressed in absolutely nothing except for the red silk shirt he had been wearing the whole evening. The fabric barely grazed his shoulders and pooled at his elbows, hiding Hyungwon’s body except for his chest and long legs. He appeared a little insecure despite looking like a fucking meal and sucked his cheek into his mouth, making his lips seem even more plump than usual.   
  
Choking on alcohol seemed to be a thing they needed to go through every other time. Catching his breath after a couple of strong coughs he managed to glare at the figure right next to him.    
  
“What the fuck do you think you are doing? Do you want me to die? Like for real?” Hoseok kept staring, unable to believe his eyes. What was this sorcery? Hyungwon was the ultimate sin, materialized in front of his eyes making him think and imagine things he didn’t know he was capable of. 

“If dying is a sign that you like it, I guess that’s good,” Hyungwon mumbled and played with the fabric of his sleeves, opening and closing the buttons at his wrists.   
  
“No it’s not. I’m so fucking greedy right now. I don’t want to hurt you but you’re fucking with my sanity on purpose.” He closed his eyes in an pathetic attempt to get his shit together, before standing up and walking towards the mini bar to put his glass on, trying not to look at the other man. 

“Just be greedy Hoseok. What’s stopping you?” Hyungwon asked, voice hesitant but raspy and low, the way it sounded when he wasn’t paying attention to the clarity of his words.   
  
Hoseok turned around, a bright grin spreading across his face at Hyungwon’s utterance. The lawyer wanted it, he did it all on purpose so Hoseok would snap. He wasn’t that easy.    
  
_ Not today satan. _   
  
“You, you want me really badly, don’t you?” He smiled and got rid of his turtleneck shirt in a matter of seconds before jumping on the bar counter, legs hanging down and upper body leaning forward.

Hyungwon swallowed visibly, the gulp loud enough to hear. He sounded almost breathless when he finally replied, eyes not leaving Hoseok’s half-naked form.

“Yeah.”

 

***

 

Hyungwon was still unable to understand how the atmosphere between Hoseok and him could switch from air that could be cut with a knife to a pit of burning hellfire. It was a mystery that he was willing, but still unable to solve. His willingness also strongly depended on his state of undress and how much clothing Hoseok himself was wearing. 

A completely serious conversation and the anger he had felt at the producer for forcing him to stay away had been completely eliminated in a matter of seconds. Seconds that involved confessing his love and hearing the most emotionally loaded compliments Hyungwon had ever received. Hoseok had the ability to make the most sappy things sound genuine and believable. It turned his legs into jelly, absolutely unrelated to the amount of cocktails he had drunk.

But of course Hoseok had to play with his expectations, not letting him enjoy the few moments of control that he was able to weave around his finger, stealing his breath with body contact just to leave him hanging to dry like a wet blanket.

_ So much to being greedy. If anyone is greedy then it’s you and not Hoseok. _

The raven-haired man was beautiful, walking over to his mini bar and filling a glass with cognac, features relaxed despite the fire that was burning in Hyungwon’s stomach. 

_ He’s just as affected Hyungwon, but brilliant at hiding it. _

Forcing himself to look away from the other man’s firm thighs and ass Hyungwon convinced his legs to walk over to the couch before he could throw himself on it, covering his eyes with his arm strategically to not be tempted. Unfortunately he had already been stupid enough to admit his insecurity by questioning his attractiveness and the producer’s necessity to inhale alcohol to deal with him, but it was nothing he couldn’t compensate for eventually. If Hoseok was able to pretend that he was unaffected then so was Hyungwon. The competition was pointless but the lawyer was unwilling to lose.

Of course Hoseok had to point out that he had drunk too much, preoccupied with the way other club patrons had been eating his boyfriend up with their eyes and mentally pulling those sinfully tight pants off his legs, which Hyungwon wished he could have done in the past minute he was lying on a couch and not getting any closer to his goal of a naked Hoseok.

“That’s probably true considering how unstable my legs feel, but I’m not sure how much of that are the three cocktails and how much is my uncontrolled anger at you for just fucking off.”

_ Great job Hyungwon, way to not sound bitter about Hoseok winning in terms of self-control. _

Opposed to his expectations the producer didn’t just reply with something nasty and enjoyed his drink, but he walked over to Hyungwon, sitting down next to him and holding the glass of cognac right in his face, blocking his vision and intoxicating his senses with the intensity of the scent. 

“Do you see that?” Hoseok asked and played with the liquid in his glass, swirling it around cunningly. “That’s how much time you have until I’ll snap.”

Hyungwon almost forgot how to breathe, eyes widening enough to feel a headache at his temples and fingers shivering in panic. It was a ridiculous thought but he couldn’t help the feeling that if he acted like a little bitch Hoseok would just drop everything and leave him hanging, suffering and begging instead of the easy way out (or rather in) he had right now. 

Hoseok was sitting calmly in his armchair as Hyungwon struggled to jump off the couch and run to the bathroom in the most ungraceful and fast way he could afford, legs still slightly unstable and heart almost jumping out of his chest with the way it was hammering against his rib-cage.

The speed with which he got ready and washed his body was record worthy, breath labile and legs shaking in anticipation. He had successfully avoided soaking his hair and dried his body in record speed before grabbing his tight jeans to slip back in.

_ But why would you Hyungwon? He’ll undress you anyway. _

Throwing them back to the ground he slapped his cheeks a few times to add more color and was about to leave the room when he had a much better idea.

Red silk shirt hanging loosely at his elbows he walked back to the living area, past Hoseok in his armchair sitting with his eyes closed and looking like he was having a hard time. Hyungwon was very willing to make it even harder if that was even possible at this point.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing? Do you want me to die? Like for real?” Hoseok exclaimed, obviously affected by the sight and Hyungwon fought the blush that spread over his cheeks. Hoseok’s gaze was impossible to endure without being affected. He focused on nothing else, staring as if Hyungwon was the only thing that mattered, Hoseok’s undivided attention solely his.

No matter Hyungwon’s insecurity at sitting naked on a couch across from a completely dressed Hoseok, the other man wasn’t going down without a fight. Even nullifying his accusations of greed were futile as the producer grinned and slid his turtleneck off his sculpted body, light falling on the dips in his abs and drying out Hyungwon’s mouth like in reflex. Fuck, he wanted him so much. The words accompanying the actions weren’t helping either, throwing everything Hyungwon was feeling back in his face.

“You, you want me really badly, don’t you?”

_ Yes, he did. So fucking badly. Fuck. _

It only got worse when Hoseok jumped up on the minibar counter, even more presentable and grin still in place. The way the other man leaned forward made his arms bulge and Hyungwon seriously doubted his sanity, swallowing deeply and praying that Hoseok hadn’t heard it. 

_ Don’t lie to yourself and just get what you want. Fuck pride, Hoseok is going to win either way, whether you say ‘yes’ now or later. _

“Yeah,” he breathed out, bordering on desperation and attempting to sound more casual then he felt.

The muscular figure leaned back a little, dark eyes watching him from under the black bangs, head slightly tilted to the right.

“Mhm, I thought so. You know I really like the sight right now.” Hoseok’s low voice echoed through the living room and a hand started sliding down over the defined abs under the seam of the blue jeans, palm disappearing under it completely until it began to move under the fabric in a way Hyungwon could perfectly imagine. 

_ Fuck, he did not just... _

Did Hyungwon look like he was ready for this? He fucking wasn’t. Just seconds ago he had been ready to beg for whatever it was Hoseok wanted him to beg for but of course that wasn’t torture enough and needed to be topped off with Shin Hoseok in impossibly tight jeans, touching himself and looking like the cover of a magazine Hyungwon had never read, but fucking would if that’s what he’d be looking at.

“Fuck my life,” he whispered, unmoving with his legs still resting in front of him, seated on the armrest of the couch and wondering how Hoseok could be affected enough to touch himself. Shit, Hyungwon wanted him to be even more affected.

So he spread his legs.

“You fucking tease,” Hoseok moaned while looking him straight in the eyes, one hand softly moving between his legs, the other one behind him, making his body look even more ethereal. 

“I'm sure I could just come by looking at you and touching myself, but I don't think that's what you want, am I right?” He smiled like a nasty fucker. Hyungwon feared that his neck would break from the force with which he nodded at the question. Shit, he was being so easy and desperate. Hoseok must have been enjoying the way his resolve to keep his pride just crumbled in his hands like a fucking cookie.

_ Just fuck it Hyungwon. Why do you keep fighting? _

Hyungwon didn’t know the answer himself, feeling constantly challenged by the other man and standing up. He fought with his balance a little and walked over to the sexual drama Hoseok was playing out all by himself. His fingers didn’t waver before they stroked the producer’s chest and caressed his ribs slowly, fingertips pausing at each as if counting them on the way to the visual heaven that were Hoseok’s abdominal muscles. There was a tiny mole next to his navel and he didn’t hesitate before closing his lips around it, sucking intently, licking over the area to sooth it and dipping his tongue into the navel.

“Look who we have here.” Hoseok’s hand raked through his hair and pulled, forcing him to look up. “You don't want me to touch myself while looking at you? What do you want then? Maybe I'll give it to you when you ask nicely.” Hoseok breathed heavily while saying all those things, visibly affected himself. 

But surely he wasn't as crazed as Hyungwon, who felt like he could burst just from the way Hoseok stared at him, eyes partially closed and breath fanning his face. Shit, the other man was unreal and Hyungwon had no idea how he got lucky enough to find himself in the situation of sharing the same time and space. He followed the way Hoseok had pulled his hair and stood up completely, stepping further between Hoseok’s legs and kissing the other man, eyes closed and concentrating on the heat that it spread throughout his body.

“Just let me touch you,” he murmured between kisses, licking into Hoseok’s mouth and biting the sensitive area where shoulder met neck afterwards.

Hoseok surely wanted to say something nasty but the words got stuck in his throat and only a low moan came out, arms curling around Hyungwon’s neck. 

“Fuck,” was the only thing the other man managed to say. The lawyer couldn’t help feeling proud of himself, licking and biting along Hoseok’s chest until he reached the seem of his jeans, mouthing the other man’s clothed erection. Impatient he opened the zipper and the top button, freeing Hoseok’s cock from it’s confinement only to find out that Hoseok was not wearing any underwear.

_ He wants you to die. _

“Shit, you can’t just do this to me Hoseok. What the actual fuck?” he groaned and dug his hands into the producer’s thigh, affected by how fucking hot he looked in his semi-state of undress. Unable to keep himself away he just licked a stripe from the base to the tip, not bothering to take the jeans off properly and basking in the reactions Hoseok graced him with.

The other man looked so beautiful, bottom lip caught between his teeth, rosy cheeks and half closed eyes staring down on him, low moans here and there, muscles flexing and reminding Hyungwon of what he was doing. 

“I- I'm going nuts, don't do that to me Won.” Something between a groan and a moan was evoked from those red lips. Hyungwon loved how he was able to drive Hoseok crazy with the attention he gifted him. The other man was beautiful when he lost control, be it in dominance or giving himself up to the feeling of Hyungwon’s tongue on him.

Stepping up his game Hyungwon breathed in through his nose and took Hoseok’s dick as far as he could into his throat, closing his eyes and repeating the motion, sucking along the way as soon as he reached the tip before sinking right back down. His right hand stroked down Hoseok’s thigh and massaged the other man’s balls, fitting to the bobbing of his head.

“Stop.” Hoseok managed to pull his hair. “I want you, now,” he pressed out panting hard, obviously trying to regain some self control. 

Their goal was very similar this time so Hyungwon didn’t hesitate and let Hoseok’s erection fall from his mouth, hitting his stomach in the process. Licking his lips he rose and pressed them to Hoseok’s, enjoying how the other man panted into his mouth, struggling to catch his breath.

After a couple of seconds passed, Hoseok seemed to have gotten his shit together as he jumped down the counter, placing a soft kiss on Hyungwon’s lips and leading him to his bedroom. At about half the way Hyungwon didn’t give a shit anymore, stumbling a little and hating it. He pulled at Hoseok’s hand for him to stop. 

“You have about three seconds before I’ll jump you,” he commented, quickly counting until three in his head and circling his arms around Hoseok’s neck, wanting him to carry him the rest of the way, preferably quickly. Having Hoseok’s face so close to his drowned his senses in his scent, familiar and arousing at the same time.

Lips crushed on his without any further notice, Hoseok’s muscular arms curling around his thighs, lifting him up as if he was a feather. Pressing his back into the next best surface, which happened to be the bedroom door, the other man licked into his mouth and bit his plump lips. Hoseok was desperate and didn't give a shit anymore, fingers digging into the muscles of Hyungwon’s thighs without mercy. 

“Oh my god, please fuck me again Hoseok.”

Hyungwon didn't care that he resolved to begging without being prompted to. His body was burning his inhibition to shreds, heating up at every touch and every motion of Hoseok’s body against his. The lawyer never let himself lose control when with other people, always fully conscious of his actions and possible mistakes, but around Hoseok he was able to let go. He didn't only just enjoy the way the other man took care of him. 

_ You need it like the air you breathe.  _

“Tell me if I hurt you okay?” Hoseok whispered into his ear after sinking his teeth into the crook of his neck, kissing and licking over it afterwards. He kicked the bedroom door open, still holding Hyungwon in place and walking over to the bed.

“Whatever you do to me Hoseok, I'm going to love it,” Hyungwon gasped and held on to Hoseok’s shoulders for dear life, wishing to melt into the producer’s body like an ocean and to never reach the surface again. 

The way Hoseok flexed every single muscle in his body to place him on the bed bordered on crazy. It was as if Hyungwon was out of porcelain, fragile and sensible. The other man's lips were everywhere, kissing every spot they could find, hands slowly pulling the shirt down his elbows and off. He felt like he couldn't breathe without having Hoseok next to him, only the proximity of their bodies granting him the oxygen he needed to survive. 

A hand reached next to him and got a bottle out of the drawer. The anticipation spiked in his blood, dick twitching just at the image of Hoseok touching him. 

“Would you spread your legs for me?” Hoseok asked, speaking quietly as if afraid Hyungwon would run away otherwise.

Hoseok had no fucking idea how much he wanted him. As if Hyungwon could run away even if he had wanted to. He spread his legs smoothly, inhaling and exhaling slowly to relax his muscles and easing the work for the other man. 

“I'll do whatever you want me to,” the lawyer breathed hotly, closing his eyes. 

Hoseok coated his fingers thoroughly and did something Hyungwon didn't expect. After crawling between his legs, the beautiful man pressed a finger against his entrance and took him in his mouth at the same time, digit sliding in and his erection disappearing between Hoseok’s red lips. 

Hyungwon couldn't help groaning loudly, his voice coming back to him from the walls of the bedroom, pleasure shooting through his groin, flowing along his legs and chest, reaching up to his fingertips. He cursed, alternating it with Hoseok’s name and burying his hand in the other man's hair, pulling harshly without meaning to.    
  
“Sorry,” he moaned despite pulling again. 

Hoseok didn't answer but took him in all the way while adding another finger, hitting the sensitive spot with absolute precision. Humming over his dick, one hand stabilizing his thigh. 

Hyungwon screamed and turned his head from side to side, meeting the thrusts of the other man's fingers without consciously telling his body to do that. The ecstasy was overwhelming, impossible to slide into Hoseok’s mouth and push against his fingers at the same time.    
  
“How c-can you remember my body as if it's yours?” he asked, stuttering and fighting off the eminent orgasm he felt knocking at his walls and waiting to visit him without an explicit invitation. 

Hoseok added a third finger, slowly and let him go at the same time, crawling up a little. Hyungwon felt full and a little scared at not feeling full enough at the same time. It was mind blowing how Hoseok crashed all of his inhibitions into a wall, wrecking havoc but making him feel so many things at once. 

“I want to be inside of you,” he growled, pupils dilated and lips swollen. 

Hyungwon wanted nothing more than exactly that. 

“Take me then Hoseok. You know that I'm all yours,” he gasped with a smile, hips still meeting the three digits inside of him subconsciously and hands finding Hoseok’s arms and waist to hold onto, leaving half moon shaped marks on his skin. 

“I want you to ride me. Would you do that?” The low voice hit his eardrums at the same time as the fingers hit a sensitive spot inside of him. 

Damn, Hyungwon would've done fucking anything. 

The mental image of having Hoseok under him, every expression and emotion that his body evoked in the other man visible, stole his breath away. Moaning and nodding even before he had decided to agree he buried his nails even further into Hoseok’s shoulders. His body knew better than his mind either way. It always did. 

The muscular figure leaned back, removing his fingers and attempting to take his pants off. It seemed like time was flowing in slow motion, Hoseok sliding the jeans down his thighs, until he was completely naked. He reached for the drawer again and got a condom out, rolling it over skilfully, before coming back and lying down next to Hyungwon. 

“Shit, you're so fucking ethereal Hoseok. Still seems crazy that you are mine,” Hyungwon muttered, quiet but the only sound in the room except for his own ragged breathing. He got up and sat next to the other man, hand sliding over his pecs and rolling a nipple between his fingertips.

“Now be a good boy and come sit on me.” The couple of seconds it took to undress brought dominant Hoseok back apparently. Hyungwon loved every second of it. He would have jumped out of Hoseok’s window onto the plaza below had the other man asked him to, with that husky voice of his. 

His left leg slid over Hoseok’s hips, long limbs resting on both sides of the other man's waist. He felt a little unsure whether Hoseok wanted him to do everything on his own, taking the pace and entering into his own hands. The way Hoseok was watching each movement send signals right to his groin, screaming at him to hurry up before he lost every ability to form a coherent thought aside from desperate moaning. 

The lawyer grabbed the lube from where Hoseok had left it on the bed and coated the other man's erection thoroughly, slow strokes teasing along the shaft and rubbing at the tip.

“You're into torturing aren't you?” Hoseok closed his eyes hissing a breath. “Fuck, you look so beautiful sitting on me.” He opened one eye and flashed a smile.

Hyungwon was so weak for compliments and Hoseok’s beautiful smile only added to the lethal mixture. He closed his eyes and inhaled before opening them again and lifting his hips up, positioning them above Hoseok’s firm erection, pulsating in his hand. 

“Not into torture, just your cock,” he exhaled as he slowly sank down. He kept forgetting how huge Hoseok was and how fucking amazing it felt, every nerve-ending reacting and sending shivers through his thighs. “Fuck I'm so fucking sensitive. Is it the same for you?” He couldn't help asking, wondering how Hoseok always kept his wits while Hyungwon was sucked into the abyss of pleasure. 

“I feel like the fucking Buddha for not thrusting into you like a mad person.” Hoseok’s low voice added up to the pleasure. “This is so hard, fuck my life.”

Hyungwon smiled, purposefully clenching down on the moaning man under him. 

“I actually meant whether you're as sensitive in the way I am right now. I can kind of tell that your dick loves my ass,” he elaborated, smile turning into a grin and clenching down again. The control he had in this position was fucking amazing. At least as long as he didn't move and kept sitting on Hoseok’s lap as if he belonged there, mind clear despite the fullness. 

“You may witness the rare sight of me falling apart under you if you continue like that. How the fuck can you talk while doing this? Oh god.” Hoseok closed his eyes again, breathing deeply, fingers buried into the muscles of Hyungwon’s thighs. 

“Can't wait.”

Hyungwon slowly lifted his hips, hissing at the slide and carefully watching Hoseok’s face at the movement, absolutely opposed to missing even a millisecond of the effect he had on the other man. He must have gotten used to the stretch, feeling relatively comfortable and sinking back down, adjusting the angle subconsciously. 

The comfort immediately faded, leaving only the burning pressure against the sensitive spot inside of him and he immediately lost the ability to give a shit about slow and sensual, hips jerking to feel the same pleasure spike through his limbs again. “Fuck, I keep f-” He had to stop talking, groaning at the way Hoseok’s dick was fucking perfect for his body. “Keep forgetting h-how amazing you feel inside me.” 

Hyungwon slowed down, fighting his primal instincts and focusing on Hoseok’s face again.

The man under him had apparent trouble breathing and not moving, muscles flexed and mouth slightly open, moans escaping his lips.

“Shit Hyungwon, I'm going nuts,” was the only thing he managed to press out, breath stuck in his throat. 

He closed his eyes, too mesmerized by the sight below him to not come on the spot and slowed even further, feeling every tiny movement in his body, every gasp and every rise of Hoseok’s chest under his palms, which he propped against him for more leverage. 

The grip on his thighs tightened and Hoseok lifted him up, sliding out completely, strong arms placing his ass on Hoseok’s lap. The other man sat up and caught Hyungwon’s lips with his teeth. 

“I need to fuck you or I'll burst.” Hoseok turned them around and ended up hovering over him, one hand next to his shoulders. The other pressed the erection against his entrance again and slid in smoothly. 

“Fuck, please please please,” Hyungwon moaned, hands circling around Hoseok’s neck and forgetting whatever resolution he might have had, begging and hoping that the beautiful man would give him what he wanted. His hips lifted automatically to improve the angle. Turning his head to the side he saw a pillow and grabbed it, placing it under his lower back and kissing Hoseok’s lips right after.

Hoseok kissed back and slammed his hips into him, rolling back smoothly and slamming in again. Loud moans filling the room. 

“Fuck, Hyungwon, you feel like heaven, shit.” Curses flew all over the place. 

Hyungwon fought to meet every thrust, keeping his legs up as much as possible, enjoying the angle and losing every train of thought he began, body shivering at the pleasure coursing through it. Hoseok moved his hips down and thrusted up, breathing heavily, one hand sliding over Hyungwon’s chest, the other arm flexing, while holding himself in position. 

A mantra of curses left Hyungwon's mouth, eyes rolling back and burning at the direct thrusts inside of him. Hoseok was fucking amazing at what he was doing and Hyungwon didn't want anything else in his life.

Ever.

A sudden pain spread through his legs, muscles straining to keep them up, body overwhelmed with arousal. 

“Could you take my legs again? I can't hold them up much longer,” he moaned, and held onto Hoseok’s neck, groaning into the other man's face.    
  
Hoseok leaned back and placed Hyungwon’s legs over his shoulders, one hand going right between his thighs, fingers curling around his painful erection, stroking up and down slowly, applying pressure just right, coordinated with the intense thrusts.    
  
“You are so fucking beautiful, I want to live just to please you,” Hoseok groaned accompanied by a deep thrust. 

“The feeling is-” Hyungwon gasped at the intensity with which Hoseok slammed inside of him, orgasm unavoidable as it built up like a hurricane. “Mutual.” Although the other man must have been fighting his own battle against pleasure his motions were precise, eyes wide open and watching Hyungwon's wrecked state on the sheets.

“Will you come for me?” Hoseok’s movements intensified and the sounds of heavy breathing paired with skin against skin filled the acoustic space.

Hyungwon had never been able to deny Hoseok anything, especially with the other man in such close proximity. Relief washed over him as he finally stopped fighting his pleasure, orgasm hitting him with as much intensity as he had held it off, skin tingling and muscles spasming, releasing between their bodies. 

Hoseok was more important than his oversensitivity and he kept his body rigid, muscles contracting and eyes following every gasp that moved from Hoseok’s chest to his neck, caressing the lawyer’s face. 

“Can I?” Hoseok asked much to his surprise, eyes so soft, despite being on the edge all this time. 

How could such a dominant human being be so soft and tender? Hyungwon's chest felt so warm, he almost stopped breathing, watching the beautiful eyes and smiling at the man above him.

“Come for me Hoseok,” he whispered, repeating the producer's words back at him and pushing his body against the constant thrusts, fingers finding a nipple which he squeezed and pulling Hoseok’s hair with the rhythm of their motions. 

A couple of intense gasps and Hoseok came while rolling his hips against him, bliss mixed with strain, trying to catch his breath, Hyungwon’s body still partly on his shoulders. 

“Are you Hercules or something?” Hyungwon whispered in awe, disbelieving how so much human strength was possible, especially after an orgasm. He sure as hell wasn't able to move a muscle after coming. His right hand brushed a sweaty strand of hair from Hoseok’s face, caressing his cheek and lower lip.

Hoseok lifted the legs from his shoulders and put them down softly before getting rid of the condom. 

“Should I carry you to the shower or are you able to move?” The tenderness with which Hoseok spoke those words was breathtaking. Hyungwon was worried about forsaking work and food, just to sit there and watch Hoseok do the most elementary things, looking beautiful and wrecking his mind and body.

“Shit, please carry me,” Hyungwon answered immediately, even nodding subconsciously although he didn't want to seem too eager.    
  
_ Fuck, that worked well.  _

“You should be careful about those proposals. I'll forsake walking forever if you spoil me like that.”

Hoseok smiled brightly while lifting him up. 

“If Changkyun knew how much you love getting carried around by me, he'd choke. Someone so sassy and independent as you. Fuck I love you so much.” Hoseok concentrated on his steps while walking into his shower, careful not to bump against something with Hyungwon’s body right in front of him.

Hyungwon enjoyed how much the producer cared for him, holding onto his neck and breathing in the strong scent instead of the air around him. 

“Don't you dare tell Changkyun. He won't let me off the hook if he knew. Ever.“ Hyungwon kept forgetting that their friends didn't really know how they settled their relationship, being boyfriends and ripping each other's clothes off every chance they got. “I'm yours but you're the only one who needs to know.”

_ If he'll deny it you should feel free to choke him, seriously.  _

“I'm yours. I was yours from the beginning,” Hoseok whispered and turned on the water covering them both, hot red lips finding his, melting in a soft kiss. Despite wanting to return the kiss Hyungwon felt the anger boiling in his veins, pushing against Hoseok’s chest and slapping the firm muscles. 

“Do you know that it sounds like you don't want me? Dick. Even Minhyuk says that I'm his and he's fucking far from getting there.” His left hand clenched into a fist at his side.

“It's bullshit. I want you so much that it hurts and I have to remind myself that you're a different person and not a part of me, while struggling with being greedy and possessive.” Hoseok grabbed the hand and put it in front of his face. “I've never wanted something more in my life and I'm scared I'll fuck it up,” he added, expression dead serious, water running down his face and body. 

The other man was still not getting it, sounding like Hyungwon had a choice in the whole thing and was able to leave. He wasn't and he was just as afraid of the infatuation fading like the beautiful man in front of him, covered in water droplets which slid down his chest and dripped from his eyelashes. Hyungwon had to explain himself somehow. 

“I'm also scared Hoseok. Scared that you'll change the way you feel about me. I'm a very jealous person you know? I'm not willing to share you, never. But you are always so hesitant as if I could just walk out of your life and you wouldn't even try to do anything about it. That's not what we agreed on is it?” Hyungwon moved a hand through his wet brown hair, getting the bangs out of his face and relaxing under the warm water. “We wanted to work on it, remember? Both of us.”

“Will you be satisfied if I tell you that you're mine?” Hoseok stared at him. 

Hyungwon thought about it. Would he? Just the words alone weren't sufficient if he couldn't be sure that Hoseok meant them, willing to keep the lawyer to himself, no matter what. 

“You need to mean it, Hoseok.”

“Listen to what am I about to say. I'm fucking terrified because I can't handle watching you getting hurt, especially because of me. I'm pretty sure I'll end up doing it and I'm scared what you will do then. Just…I know it's selfish but,” he paused, breathing in and out repeatedly. 

“Just say you won't let go, no matter what happens, because I'm not able to let go anymore.” The expression on Hoseok’s face was mesmerizing, black bangs hanging into his eyes, gaze glued to Hyungwon’s lips waiting for an answer.

“I won't.”

There was no hesitation in Hyungwon's voice. He knew what he wanted and there wasn't anything left to change his mind. He curled his arms around Hoseok’s waist, clutching the muscular body closer to his chest, seeing that the other man was emotional. 

“I love you Hoseok and I won't let go,” he whispered into his ear, stroking the wet hair and holding him impossibly close, not even water being able to slide between them. 

Although he should have been sure of Hoseok’s feelings Hyungwon couldn't help feeling slightly upset at the reluctance of the other man to call him his.

_ Give it time Hyungwon. You're patient and just starting out.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feel so strange to get closer and closer to the end of the fic.
> 
> How do you feel about the chapter? Can't wait to read your comments!
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	28. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well you assumed I didn't want you and fucked off, not asking me what I thought or felt. You just jumped to conclusions and left me. Don't you dare do the same to him. He doesn't deserve this. You better throw your fucking life after him and do everything to help instead of thinking you know it all. You're fucking oblivious. You know nothing, full offense.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left. We're sad. Prepare for the finale on saturday and enjoy <3

It was pleasantly warm. Hoseok wanted to stretch but his right arm was occupied by a head. Hyungwon’s head, which was resting on his underarm, dark brown strands falling softly while uncovering parts of his forehead, eyes closed, breathing calm and regular. 

Events of the past day passed by his thoughts quickly, the stressful club evening, picture of Hyungwon’s facial expression, hurt and angry, mixed with images of the beautiful man sitting on him, lying under him, moaning his name, begging for more, falling apart with each movement of his hips.

_ Fuck, no no no. _

He couldn't get hard now, not when Won was sleeping so beautifully using his muscular arm as a pillow. He tried to find his watch, but he had probably thrown it away while undressing, not thinking straight and disposing of everything that was not classified as skin. 

The phone had to do the job. He almost choked after unlocking the screen and having fifteen missed calls from Namjoon. That was plain weird as the man almost never called, especially not more than two times in a row.

He pulled his arm from under Hyungwon’s head carefully, avoiding waking him up and stood up from the bed, searching for something suitable to wear. A red supreme shirt and ripped black jeans were the fashion of choice and the only thing he needed was brushed teeth and three cups of coffee. 

He thought about the reason for Namjoon’s stalker calls while sipping on the hot liquid, but nothing seemed reasonable enough for the terror at eight in the morning. 

The bell rang and he almost choked, removing the coffee drops from his lips and running to the door like a mental person, remembering Hyungwon, who was still asleep in his bed. 

A blonde man stood in the door frame, wearing glasses and an utterly annoyed facial expression. 

“Really man?” Namjoon exhaled and walked into his apartment as if they shared it, taking off his shoes and going straight for the coffee machine.

“Hoseok, why do I know how your tongue looks like? I didn't want to know that and I also didn't want to work half of the night like crazy because of your inability to listen to my instructions.” The coffee dripped into the cup slowly while Hoseok had absolutely no idea why his real lawyer was standing in his kitchen talking about the appearance of his tongue. 

Steps sounded from the bedroom. Hyungwon walked out in his clothes from the day before, looking confused and as if he had thrown them on quickly, not bothering to close his shirt completely. His confusion stayed until his gaze passed Namjoon’s form and settled on Hoseok’s facial expression.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you making Hoseok uncomfortable?” The tone was everything but welcoming, a 360 degree change from the soft and unsure appearance mere seconds ago. 

“Mhm,” Namjoon hummed while gracing Hyungwon with exactly one second of attention until he concentrated on his coffee again. “If that's not Chae Hyungwon. I guess you had fun yesterday after sucking face on a fucking street.” The voice sounded amused and annoyed at the same time. Namjoon appeared intimidating as fuck to someone who didn't know him. 

Hyungwon frowned, staring back and forth between Namjoon and him. 

“Who the hell is that and how does he know my name Hoseok?”

He wanted to answer, but Namjoon was faster, turning around and stretching his hand out. 

“I guess you don't know me because I don't make out with Hoseok in front of a club, but let's not forget basic etiquette. I'm Kim Namjoon, Hoseok’s lawyer, nice to meet you in person. Although I wished we could've had a first meeting without all this mess. Honestly speaking, I'm a big fan of your case winning ratio.” A grin spread on the blonde man's face. 

“Thank you very much. It's a pleasure.” Whatever dislike Hyungwon had had for Hoseok’s lawyer it faded as soon as he complimented his skill, smile gracing his features. He was still uncomfortable, but Hoseok was only able to tell because he knew him well enough and what his real smiles looked like. Hyungwon took his lawyer's hand and shook it before letting go. 

“If you would excuse me though, I'm not really presentable enough for such a conversation.”

Just as suddenly as he appeared Hyungwon stalked away, bathroom door closing behind him, softly this time around. 

Hoseok turned at the speed of light, staring at Namjoon who was still sipping on his coffee, acting as if it was something natural to do. 

“Namjoon what the actual fuck? What happened?” He needed to know where all those making out references came from in addition to the fact that the utterly misanthropic Kim Namjoon was voluntarily standing in his apartment, drinking coffee and chatting about making out in the streets.

“Hoseok, when will you start listening to me? I told you to use your brain didn't I? I explicitly told you what I mean by avoiding unnecessary body contact and you go to a club you don't know the owner of and make out with a famous lawyer on the fucking street. The pictures are all over the place Hoseok. I worked half of the night because Hobi called me and told me there were people taking pics of you when you and the pretty guy left.” Namjoon got his phone out and shoved it into his face, a picture all over the big screen. Hoseok pinning Hyungwon against the wall, lips pressing onto the other man's tightly, Hyungwon’s hands holding onto his clothes.

_ The aesthetics are no joke though. _

_ Wait.  _

_ Fuck Hoseok. Fuck fuck fuck you fucking idiot.  _

“Shit. Fuck. What am I supposed to do now?” He had absolutely no idea what to do. He didn't even know what that meant for him. 

“You know that there are like 20 reporters outside? I mean they'll leave tomorrow eventually because I already wrote to their bosses but your beautiful friend will not be able to escape unnoticed with those looks of his. Everyone who has internet knows his pretty face.” The blonde man walked back and forth holding onto his cup while elaborating further. 

“I did most of the dirty work tonight but there will be consequences, especially for him.” He pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “Even I know him. He's a pretty good lawyer and he wasn't involved in any kind of scandals before. The reporters love stuff like that. Also his job, I might need to talk to him later. Poor guy.” 

Hoseok felt like dying. Of course he only thought about himself although he was the one who would walk out of this mess without suffering from any bad consequences. 

As always.

The door to the bathroom opened. Hyungwon came back from his preparative trip just when Hoseok was having a mental meltdown. He re-entered the kitchen and grabbed a cup, also filling it with coffee after pressing a button on the machine. 

“Excuse my manners Mr. Kim. To enable proper functioning, I’d really like a cup of coffee before we get into the details of this. I have the strange suspicion that we have managed to go public unintentionally.”

“I'm not quite sure about the intentionality of this as I've explained the importance thoroughly to my client yesterday, defining inappropriate body contact and getting a confirmation that he understood. Unfortunately my client doesn't like listening to my advice in general.” Namjoon looked like a fucking asshole, sipping on his coffee, talking bullshit in lawyer language, staring down at him under his glasses. 

Hyungwon just laughed, not supporting Hoseok’s crisis in any way. 

“Not listening to advice sounds like a general quality,” he commented, taking his full coffee cup and taking a sip, face scrunching at the bitter taste. The smile that the laugh had plastered on his face disappeared as he took another look at Hoseok, before turning to Namjoon, joining him at the counter. 

“However, this time I fear that it has been entirely my fault. I was frustrated with the situation and made Hoseok uncomfortable, resulting in public display of affection. I would therefore appreciate it if you could refrain from insulting him in my presence.”

Shit he felt like his brain was dry. Nothing came out. Those words were hitting his eardrums, not eliciting any kinds of thoughts.

A grin spread across Namjoon’s face as he walked over to Hoseok and put an arm around his shoulders. Hyungwon’s features relaxed almost immediately.

“Wow Hoseok, now you have another lawyer who ‘really’ likes you.” He chuckled before turning to the beautiful man watching the whole show. 

“Listen up Chae Hyungwon, this is not about insulting. This is about twenty reporters standing in front of this building, waiting to see your pretty face. I don't know whether you've dealt with stuff like that before. The only reason I'm here is because Hoseok told me that he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you, even if I didn't want to know and care in the first place. I'll try to help you out of this mess and you better listen to me because I believe that I'm more experienced in this area.” Namjoon finished his monologue and put his cup on the counter.

He wanted to hit and hug the blonde asshole at the same time. His personality was no joke, him and Hyungwon would either become best friends or choke each other to death. 

Hyungwon nodded solemnly, taking another sip of coffee 

“I have only dealt with positive publicity until now and the only negative occurrences were interviews with people that had been prosecuted and spoke out against me. Nothing to provoke any kind of public opinion except for a further confirmation of their sentence. What would you propose for me to do Mr. Kim?”

“Can you both shut up and tell me what to do? I feel like vomiting.” Hoseok was feeling nauseous, thoughts rushing into his mind in succession. The conclusion was not positive.

_ You fucked up Hoseok. You fucked up big time. _

Hyungwon looked over to him, expression tender but he stayed in place, both hands circling around the warm liquid in his hands.

“It’ll be fine Hoseok. Don’t panic please,” he said softly and stared at Namjoon, gesturing at him to return to his seat. “And you, fingers off and professionalism reinstated.”

“We can't leave like that right? The only way is to go with my car as it has toned windows. We can go to Hyungwon’s apartment then right?” Hoseok depended on Namjoon with stuff like that and it was disgustingly obvious. It was probably also the first time for Hyungwon to see him like that and Namjoon apparently enjoying the whole mess.

His boyfriend just stared back and forth between the two of them, surprise tainting his features. 

“What the actual fuck? Why would anybody care enough to block the exit of your own fucking building? What do the journalists even want to know?” He appeared in thought, genuinely not understanding the fascination with Hoseok and his life. 

Namjoon walked over to the coffee machine before pressing down the espresso button.

“You see, there was a woman who I talked to today before coming here. I might have bribed her a little so she would shut up and not spill trivial bullshit all over the place. But back to the point. She told me she had a lot of personal information about you she was willing to share with the media as she's a reporter herself. She told me you can't be gay because she slept with you a couple of weeks ago. I bet stuff like that would come out. Questions which are really personal and without connection to your job, may become connected to your job. People love drama.” 

Hyungwon paled visibly, eyes widening and mouth opening to reply but unable to do so. He nodded eventually before looking over to Hoseok, expression still panic stricken.

_ He slept with a reporter? Well he could Hoseok, you weren't his fucking boyfriend. You thought he'd just stay with you all the time? Why would he? _

Hoseok closed his eyes and breathed out, trying hard not to think about Hyungwon sleeping with that woman.

“What's the plan Joon?” he asked while digging his nails into his palm to stay calm and reserved and not get fucking jealous although he had no right after ruining Hyungwon’s life, making him the subject of negative media attention and getting himself out. 

“First of all, I hope you'll listen this time. It's important Hoseok. Under no circumstances are you both allowed to talk to anybody or interact with reporters. Even if it seems like it's not about you. Just don't say anything to anyone besides me. Second, you can't leave. There are even more reporters at Chae’s building. I checked before coming here. I think it'll get resolved after a day or two but you'll have to stay put until then. Do you understand?” Namjoon was so competent it was mesmerizing. 

“Perfectly,” Hyungwon answered first, not showing any signs of discomfort, emptying his cup and standing up to put it into the sink, leaning against the counter instead of sitting down.

“And you. You'll probably deal with more than that. But call me later, we'll talk about that matter when it's relevant.” The blonde smiled at Hyungwon, gazing over his glasses and stretched out his hand, a business card pointing at him. 

Accepting it with both hands Hyungwon smiled back, genuinely this time and nodded again.

“I appreciate your help Mr. Kim. I will contact you when I consider it necessary.”

“I'll get some food for you. I'm doing all kinds of things as your lawyer Hoseok. I'm not saying you're paying me the exact amount I'm working for but that's exactly what I'm saying. Don't act so generous next time.” He smiled and walked towards the hallway, putting the black Oxfords back on.

“Nice shoes,” Hyungwon commented, following Namjoon. “I appreciate your help greatly. Don’t bother with food too much though. We can easily ask friends and acquaintances for that, especially since their faces are unknown. We have the possibility to ask different people to avoid a pattern.”

“Those shoes are marvellous. And yes, I already called all your friends and told them to stay put. More people, more mistakes. See you in an hour.” Joon smiled and left the apartment.

It was dead quiet after Namjoon’s departure, walls throwing the lack of sound right back at them.

“Wow,” Hyungwon commented after a while, interrupting the silence and turning towards Hoseok. “That’ll be a shit show, won’t it?”

He didn't even know what to answer. He was kind of used to making Namjoon's life hard, but ruining Hyungwon’s life was new, everybody got first hand involved in their private business and everything was his fault. 

“Hoseok? You there?” Hands closed around his waist, pressing him to a warm chest. “Are you okay?” Hyungwon asked, worry clear in his voice.

“Mhm,” he hummed, not even trying to sound genuine, turned around and walked back towards the kitchen. It was too late. Everything was too late. He couldn't even run away now, not after he fucked up so badly. 

_ He can't even go home because of you. What the fuck are you doing being sad? _

Hoseok turned around like burnt. He must've looked like a mental person running back to Hyungwon, taking his hands and staring with his mouth open. 

“I'm so sorry,” he whispered. 

The lawyer frowned at him, expression unreadable. 

“Why?” he asked eventually and circled his arms around Hoseok, just like they were before he ran to the kitchen like a madman. 

Why? It was a good question. It wasn't the kissing in the alley or the reporters in front of his house, it was much more basic, something that connected the dots together to a big picture. 

“Because you would've been better off without me Won.” 

He regretted the sentence as soon as he spoke the words, knowing that it was better to keep stuff like that in his head. The hands that had been holding him close gripped his shoulders tightly instead, pushing him further away from Hyungwon’s body, enough to be the victim of the anger in the other's eyes, staring at him. 

“What did you say?” the lawyer asked, voice strained and disbelieving. “You think I'd be better off without you? Did you really just fucking say that Hoseok?” The anger overflowed, but the expression in Hyungwon's eyes didn't fit the outburst at all. 

“You know, I just thought about you, being this competent lawyer, 100% case winning ratio. Straight and happy, no suffering, no jealousy and no scandals. And then I came. Shit why can't I stop feeling bad about this? You know back then, after you semi confessed in the bathtub? I asked you whether you regretted meeting me. You said no, but I didn't believe it. At all.” Hoseok stared back, hands clenched into fists, piled up anxiety washing over him like a wave, strangely on point, but absolutely out of place. 

He had no idea why he was telling Hyungwon all that. There was no reason for it. It was too late to change anything anyway. He almost smiled at how he asked Hyungwon to not let go no matter what happened just a couple of hours ago, shit when would he stop being a selfish asshole. 

_ Maybe your personality is like that Hoseok. And he'll suffer from it.  _

The hands on his shoulders loosened, insecurity passing over Hyungwon's face.

“That's because I thought that living as a shell and not giving a shit about anyone is nice Hoseok. It's like arguing that instead of intense emotions, be they good or bad, you'd prefer absolute apathy,” he explained, thumbs moving over the beginning of Hoseok’s collarbones in circular motions.

“I wasn't happy Hoseok. I wasn't anything to be honest.”

Bingo. Hyungwon stabbed him with those words. It hurt so much.

“Fuck, Hyungwon why am I like this? I think it's my fault. I don't know what to do and I can't think straight.” Hoseok took a step and buried his face in the crook of Hyungwon’s neck sucking in the air forcefully, trying to calm down. 

It was truly pathetic. It looked as if he was the one suffering although Hyungwon was the victim and he happened to be the source of the problem.

The lawyer just accepted his misery, consoling him although the situation should have been the other way around. Fingers stroked his hair softly and a tender kiss was placed on the top of his head. 

“It's okay Hoseok. Everything will be fine. Having my worldview crash and burn was more dramatic than a few people caring about my love life and I don't regret that fiasco either. I don't need anything else as long as I have you.”

He needed to do something. For example act like a responsible human and protect the person next to him, but he had no idea what to do. His incompetence stroke him down, unable to formulate a thought. Namjoon was not in reach to throw questions at him and get witty logical answers that would make everything better. 

Hyungwon kept stroking his hair, not moving away and warm breath caressed his neck. 

“It’s okay Hoseok. Namjoon said we should stay home so we’ll do that. Let’s cuddle on the couch and be disgustingly cheesy until things calm down, okay? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” The low voice continuously whispered reassuring words in his ear, holding him close.

Hyungwon was right, he couldn't do shit either way. He was helpless and unable to do anything reasonable.

“What do you normally eat for breakfast? I'm a useless fuck in this situation, but I can cook, so I'm going to brag about that to hide my anxiety and incompetence.” That was honesty level 100 but Hoseok didn't give a shit. He needed to be honest to resolve all this. There was no room for misunderstandings. 

Hyungwon nodded and placed a soft kiss against his lips. 

“We’ll deal with this together. At least you have me although I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be. Just don’t let me touch kitchen equipment and use me for emotional support if you want to survive another day.” He laughed and walked over to the kitchen area, opening the fridge and peering inside. 

“Honestly as long as it’s fancy and limited in ingredients I might consider eating it. That omelette was heaven last time.”

He felt good being busy with something, even if it was cooking. He skillfully chopped vegetables and salmon into tiny pieces and mixed everything into the eggs. After watching him work for a while Hyungwon hugged him from behind, head resting on his shoulder and apparently not giving a fuck that Hoseok was trying to prepare a meal for them both. 

“I love how you smell,” the lawyer breathed into his ear and inhaled soundly.

“I love everything about you,” Hoseok answered as if on autopilot, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

He spotted Hobi’s name on the screen and gestured to Hyungwon that he had to pick up.

“Why didn't you tell me? Why are you two all over the internet? Did Namjoon manage to contact you?” The other seemed worried, question after question raining down on Hoseok. 

“Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just how it is and yeah, Namjoon was here already. I heard that you called him and gave him the tip that something was off. Thank you so much, really. “ Hoseok’s life consisted of him being constantly sorry to people around him.

“It's a given Hoseok. What about Hyungwon? He's not okay is he? His face is all over the place. Actually I called because I was terrified you'd do the same coward shit you did two years ago.” The line got quiet, only breathing hinting at the fact that Hobi was still there. 

“I hope he's okay. I can't really tell. What do you mean coward shit?” He had absolutely no idea what the other man was talking about and waited a couple of seconds for a clarification. 

“Well you assumed I didn't want you and fucked off, not asking me what I thought or felt. You just jumped to conclusions and left me. Don't you dare do the same to him. He doesn't deserve this. You better throw your fucking life after him and do everything to help instead of thinking you know it all. You're fucking oblivious Hoseok. You know nothing, full offense.” He wanted to get mad at Hobi, tell him that he didn't have resources for that bullshit, but the dancer was absolutely right in what he had said. 

Truth hurt. 

A lot. 

“But it's all my fault Hobi.” He gave up on the fact that Hyungwon was listening.

“You're a fucking idiot Hoseok. There's probably nothing that Won wants more than your cowardly ass. He'd probably throw his job and dignity out of the window for you, which is relatable. However, don't act as if you know better.” Hobi paused and sighed before continuing. “I hope we settled it now. I really loved you back then and it would've been nice if you had asked me what I wanted. Either way I'm happy I know what's going on. I just wish you had told me earlier that you're already taken. Preferably before I acted out a drama in that stupid elevator.” He heard Hobi’s smile through the phone before the dancer said his goodbye, wished him luck with all the mess and hung up. 

He turned around to face the thin figure looking at him with big eyes, red silk shirt hugging his beautiful body and a strangely unreadable expression on his face. 

Hobi was right. He was a selfish asshole and needed to be there for Won without jumping to conclusions or bathing in self pity, forgetting that the other was probably suffering much more than him. 

He walked over and curled his arms around the thin waist, pulling the almost weightless body closer.

“I love you. I'll stay next to you no matter what happens. I'm sorry for being so selfish all the time. I won't let go, ever. Because...”

He paused thinking about the reason and his mind completed the sentence without him realizing. 

_ Because he depends on you and he needs you. _

_ He might be really yours now _ . 

  
  


*** 

 

The air in the apartment felt stale, windows closed and door inaccessible as if it had been locked by several bars, imaginary bodyguards standing in front of it, ready to pounce as soon as somebody decided to attempt an escape. No one would have even considered an escape in the first place, but the sheer knowledge that one couldn’t leave was enough to produce the sentiment of having lost freedom. Hyungwon was sitting on the most familiar object in Hoseok’s living room, the couch, massaging his temples and waiting for the producer to finish the fifth phone call that he had to take in the past two hours.

Hoseok’s lawyer had not returned yet and Hyungwon had the strong suspicion that there was more to take care of than just buying a few nutrients for two grown up men. No matter how much he preferred to take care of things on his own, having Kim Namjoon around was a blessing in a fancy disguise with very good taste in shoes. It had only been a short time that Hyungwon had the pleasure to talk to the other man but he had left a very positive impression. Enough to resolve all worries about what had actually happened and what was still to come from Hyungwon’s preoccupied brain.

Calming down Hoseok and occupying him with the preparation of food had been important enough to not indulge any further in the consequences that having a publicly known gay relationship entailed. However sitting alone on a couch and only vaguely hearing his boyfriend’s low voice from the other end of the apartment significantly reduced the success of his avoidance techniques.

His head hurt like a bitch.

Massaging his temples repeatedly he had the suspicion that the massive onslaught of information about his most likely ruined life might have had something to do with it. None of it seemed real though. He was still in one piece, no one had thrown food or other disgusting objects at him and he hadn’t heard anything from work. Until now only the requirement to stay in his boyfriend’s apartment and the inability to leave it hung above his head, none of it unbelievably threatening. 

The past weeks had been enough to get used to Hoseok’s presence and even the call by Hobi hadn’t thrown him off, feeling strangely happy despite the circumstances. At first he had been uncomfortable, worrying that the dancer would abuse Hoseok’s fragile state. It had been stupid though. He should have remembered that Hobi wasn’t someone to do that. It was only the picture that Hyungwon’s jealousy had painted of him, wanting the dancer as far as possible from Hoseok at all times.

Whatever Hobi had told Hoseok during that phone call it must have been something good, because some of the tension that had spilled out throughout the whole morning had finally left Hoseok’s shoulders, causing him to shower Hyungwon with words of affection and warming him up even further than he had been from all the effort Hoseok had put into preparing his breakfast.

It was impressive how lucky Hyungwon was. Not many people would deal with all the shit he had put Hoseok through, but here they were, together (although partially reinforced by their messed up circumstances and public relationship) and willing to deal with whatever was about to come their way. Hyungwon was ready to punch whoever said anything about his life choices or partner. He had dealt with his doubts himself and no one else had any right to question his choices except for himself. Hoseok was his and the only reason he didn’t force the public to choke on it was because Kim Namjoon had said that he shouldn’t. 

Intellectuals listen to other intellectuals. Those were the rules of the world.

It was amusing how attached Hyungwon had become to Hoseok’s presence next to him. He was in the other man’s apartment, only a few meters apart, but hearing his voice talking to someone else and being unable to just tell him something randomly was straining. He missed him although he was right there and it was so cheesy that he couldn’t believe he had gotten to this point. 

Grabbing a piece of paper from Hoseok’s kitchen and a random magnet pen which was attached to the fridge he scribbled a little note. It was really simple and embarrassing but he felt like it and was famous for having ingenious explanations for his actions. If Hoseok ever decided to confront him Hyungwon would have given him a lecture on the note’s contribution to world peace if necessary.

Staring at the words ‘I love you like a mental person Hoseok. Please talk to me instead of your phone. I want attention’ Hyungwon frowned, but decided to show Hoseok anyway. Walking all the way to the bedroom, where the producer was walking back and forth discussing something, he held the small light blue note in front of his face, waiting for a reaction and already feeling embarrassed. 

_ You’re an embarrassment for society Hyungwon but knowing Hoseok he’ll probably love it. _

A beautiful smile appeared on Hoseok’s face while he was telling the person on the other end to hold on for a second. The other man put the phone on the next best surface after pressing the mute button and pushed him against the wall, lips crushing on him, hands stroking his sides, every movement so sensual as if Hoseok was abstinent for weeks.

_ Holy fuck that escalated quickly.  _

“I can't get enough of you and this situation is too fucking sick to think about it, but I can't help it.” Hyungwon felt the other man's hand stroking his cheek, while mouthing those words between his lips, not willing to let go. He hadn't expected such at outburst at his little note but it just reminded him of how much all of this was worth. Too much to ruin it just because of a little publicity. 

“I fucking love you Hoseok. Sorry for being such a demanding bitch. It's okay, talk to whoever you need,” he whispered back although the producer muted the phone. He left kisses on Hoseok’s forehead and lips, attempting to free himself from his grasp. 

“I don't want to let go though,” the low voice murmured into his ear, warm breath hitting the skin. 

Hoseok was a drug, only worse because not only were you addicted but the drug was too, yearning for you even when you were able to deny it, nullifying the effort. Hyungwon had to stay strong though if they wanted to get the situation under control. 

“But the person on the other line is waiting for you Hoseok. It’s probably important isn't it? You can just ravish me afterwards with double the effort. I'll give you a performance grade for motivation.”

The bell rang and Hoseok detached himself at the speed of light, grabbing his phone, blabbering something about calling back and running towards the door. Apparently Hoseok’s inability to let go was easily circumvented by a simple doorbell.

Hyungwon walked to the hallway, expecting the lawyer and much less eager for the other man's arrival than Hoseok was. Leaning against the doorframe of the bedroom he glanced towards the apartment door, crossing his arms. 

Namjoon walked in, getting rid of his shoes and putting a huge paper bag directly into Hoseok’s arms, gaze shifting to him. 

“I have sad and ridiculous news. You can choose which you want to hear first, but before I want you to sign the papers so I can scare those irrelevant bastards in front of your door.” The blonde man walked over to him and stretched out his hand with a couple of papers in it. 

Hyungwon accepted them with a grateful nod, reading them carefully and in detail. No matter how trustworthy Kim Namjoon was, Hyungwon had never signed anything without examining the contents thoroughly first. The contracts were nothing unusual, just an agreement to allow Kim to act in his name in addition to several more drastic measures that he agreed with, including a lawsuit for invasion of privacy. 

_ The good stuff. _

Smiling, Hyungwon grabbed a beautifully engraved fountain pen from the lawyer's suit jacket, thanking him in advance for allowing him to use it and signed the documents. 

“Hoseok and me seem to have developed masochistic tendencies, so I would recommend to hear the ridiculous one first such that we can properly concentrate on the sad one and milk it for tears,“ he proposed, previous smile still in place and eyes hinting at Namjoon to continue. 

“As you like. So you're basically trending on Twitter, hashtag ‘Wonho’sEtherealBoyfriend’. Together with hashtag ‘Lips’. And a couple of other things I kind of feel the need to disinfect my eyes after reading.” The blonde man walked over to the coffee machine, a small smile recognizable but not too evident on his face. 

“You do have visuals. One has to give credit where credit is due. All those paparazzi pics look like magazine covers because of your face,” he added and the smile turned into a grin. 

“The sad one is that you'll most definitely lose a couple of cases on the way, but I hope we can minimize the damage, now that I have your signature. The most important thing is to get you out of the focus so the people can calm down and continue with their boring trivial lives.” He smiled sarcastically and looked over to Hoseok. “And the sad news for you are that this will be my last case with you. I'm moving down to L.A.. Remember the professor for gender studies I told you about? We're moving together.” Something genuinely sad appeared on the lawyer's face as he told Hoseok the news about moving away.

Hyungwon wasn't sure how good their relationship was but having the person that regularly saved your ass move away had to hurt at least a little. He didn't even really think about it before he crossed the distance to the producer who was frozen in place and put an an arm around his shoulders. He cleared his throat before answering, attempting to get Hoseok out of his trance. 

“That was a lot of compliments at once. Thanks I guess. The Twitter stuff doesn't sound negative actually, surprising for a social media network that consists of shitstorms.” He grinned and squeezed Hoseok’s shoulder a little tighter. “I'll deal with the cancellations as I deem fit as soon as I encounter them. I don't see the point in thinking about them now. Work piled up so maybe a little less won't be all that bad. Now to the good news. Congratulations on moving together. I'm sure you're ecstatic about being able to live together with your loved one.”

Hyungwon was genuinely happy for the other man. Moving city for someone you love and giving up what you have established in your location of choice was a big deal. It was basically burning everything you had and starting anew. It sucked. 

_ Just give him something in return Hyungwon. He's constantly going to save your ass over the next few days.  _

“If you're interested I can give you some contacts. I know a pretty good musician who's still looking for a lawyer. He's in L.A. and quite a handful but if you like Hoseok you'll probably deal with him too.”

Hoseok finally broke out of his stupor, expression sad. “I'm so happy that you finally decided on that but I'm also scared because I'll be doomed when you're gone.” Hoseok looked so devastated that it resembled the departure of a good friend instead of a lawyer. 

“No you won't. I mean your friend here is lawyer so what are you afraid off. It's like the best catch ever. And thanks for the recommendation, just send me the contacts.” Namjoon smiled at him before continuing. “Back to your case. We need a statement for the media and I need your input for that. So tell me what I can say about your relationship.” 

That was a very good question. Hyungwon looked over at Hoseok, expecting him to answer. He wanted to go along with Hoseok’s decision, since he himself had already decided that he didn't care about telling people as long as it didn't hurt the producer. It wasn't really appropriate but he couldn't convince himself to leave Hoseok’s side, wanting to support him. 

“I'm fine with whatever Hoseok wants to reveal. As long as it's positive I'm fine.”

“Yeeeah and Hoseok will go with what you want. Spare me the cheesy stuff and tell me what to write. You're in a relationship and everybody else can choke?” The lawyer look a little annoyed.

Hyungwon laughed. “You're a genius Kim Namjoon. That's exactly what I think. Now just make that at least remotely decent and we're good.”

The blonde man nodded and went towards the door.

“And now Chae Hyungwon, get ready. I'm taking you to your sweet home, because the reporters had to stay away for a bit. It's clean and my car has toned windows. Oh and I bought dead fish as you told me Hoseok. Put it in the fridge. Since when are you eating it though?” Namjoon smiled and waited for Hyungwon to put on his shoes. 

The realization that he was finally able to go home hit him unexpectedly. He had somehow assumed that he'd have the possibility to distract himself with Hoseok’s company until most of the drama was finally over. 

Apparently not. 

“I'll call you Hoseok. Don't panic and don't think anything stupid,” Hyungwon reprimanded the producer while slipping on his shoes and checking his pockets for everything necessary. Forgetting his phone at this point would be detrimental. 

“I love you,” he said with a smile and followed the lawyer out of the apartment.

_  
  


Entering his hallway Hyungwon felt overwhelmed by familiarity and the desire to close the door and to lock it severely. Although the reporters had stayed away, as Kim Namjoon had pointed out, the amount of people just sitting in front of his apartment building with cameras was too damn high. What the hell was even going on? Had Hyungwon seen the announcement of someone's relationship he'd have said ‘whatever’ and moved on with his life. 

Definitely not camped outside someone's apartment building with a huge ass cam. 

The teenage girl had freaked him out the most, just standing there with a picture of his face crossed out in red and the words ‘leave Wonho alone or I’ll kill you’ written on it. The brat didn't even reach up to his chest and was giving him death threats, not even calling Hoseok by his real name. 

He slipped off his dancing clothes from yesterday, feeling uncomfortable in the used fabric and took a quick shower. He was home and shouldn't have felt any kind of pressure but the thought alone that people were waiting for him to leave the building just to throw questions at him was uncomfortable. 

_ Being famous must suck dick. _

Hyungwon wondered how Hoseok had always dealt with this secrecy, not telling anybody anything, careful of his actions and hoping for Kim Namjoon to save him when it got serious. 

_ He must've been so fucking lonely Hyungwon.  _

Ironically that was exactly how Hyungwon felt. Lonely and unable to do what he wanted. It wasn’t even about the actual action. Even if there were no people in front of his door he would have stayed home, changing into his pyjama as he did now and relaxing on the couch watching some stupid movie or working on some cases he was interested in, reading up on various types of regulations. But the sheer fact that he couldn't was what stole the freedom. The thought that if he would randomly decide to leave the house now  _ he couldn't _ , not without some kind of fiasco and most likely intimidating a few people on the way. 

_ You're fucked Hyungwon. You won't be able to do anything without a dozen of people caring for some reason. _

Shit. He stood up from the couch, suddenly feeling cold for no reason and grabbed the blanket from the bed, curling up and walking back to the couch, sinking into the cushions. 

He had to get through this somehow. Be it with Hoseok around or alone at this apartment. 

_ You don't even know when you'll see him again because you can't leave and neither can he.  _

The coldness dug through the heavy fabric of the blanket, sinking through his skin and engulfing his bones. 

_ You're panicking Hyungwon, stop. _

It was stupid. He didn't even know what the consequences really were. He just saw a few people without a life in front of his building and knew about the possibility of having less work in the future. Nothing worth panicking for. 

_ Just that they hate you for one of the most elementary things you have discovered about yourself Hyungwon. Something you won't be able to and shouldn't even want to change.  _

_ Being in love. _

The cold was becoming unbearable, enough to see how shivers shook his legs and hands. Hyungwon knew that it made no sense because the thermometer said it was perfect room temperature but his body didn't give a shit about what his mind was convinced of. He needed distraction, immediately. 

He stumbled up on his legs, grabbed the remote and turned on a random movie he didn't even like, to have something occupying his brain without focusing on his inability to leave and the fact that he was alone and couldn't even see the person he cared about the most. 

_ Why aren't you calling him Hyungwon? You said you would.  _

It was difficult to explain. Hyungwon wanted to call Hoseok, he really did, but calling him in his current state would have just ripped the other man apart again, making him feel guilty and hate himself. That was the last thing Hyungwon wanted to achieve, guilt shaming Hoseok when he was just as affected by the situation. 

So he didn't call and indulged in crappy movies instead. 

That had been his plan for the whole weekend, waking up on the couch in the late morning on Sunday and planning to do the exact same thing he had done all of Saturday evening. It was simple, really, waking up, drowning the brain in meaningless images, sleeping, waking up again. 

Just that when he opened his eyes in the afternoon hours on Sunday and saw the TV complaining about lack of input, headache unbearable, disgusting taste in his mouth and stomach in the middle of self elimination he doubted his decision-making skills. 

_ What are you even doing Hyungwon? Brush your teeth and eat something.  _

He forced himself off the couch, neck stiff from sleeping in a partially sitting position, and brushed his teeth in the bathroom. Washing his face thoroughly until it was presentable (pointless because he couldn’t leave and see anyone anyway) he stalked to the kitchen to get some food. 

Only to realise that he had no food. 

_ You almost never have food Hyungwon. You just order out and the stuff that Hoseok brought is long gone. You are in idiot. _

Terror was knocking on his subconsciousness at the inability to get the most basic things for himself. Namjoon had brought Hoseok food, but Hyungwon was on his own, staring at the gaping emptiness of his fridge.

He would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, being in the 21st century and unable to get food despite being rich as fuck and living in a beautiful apartment in the middle of Manhattan. But fear and discomfort were paralyzing his humour, leaving only the most basic responses. 

_ You should call Changkyun, Hyungwon. If you don’t you’ll go mad and neither do you want that yourself nor do you want Hoseok to have to deal with your crazy ass. _

Crawling back to the living room Hyungwon looked for his phone until he found it on the table in the hallway (he had still been civil when he had returned) and dialing Changkyun’s number while curling up in the soft comforter. It was already 6PM and the last time he had eaten was breakfast at Hoseok’s place, the day before. Luckily panic was good at making you forget basic human needs.

_ You aren’t even able to take care of yourself you idiot. Of course you’re not calling Hoseok. He’d have a heart attack and do something stupid just to help you out. Shut the fuck up and get your life in check first. _

The calling tune was interrupted and Hyungwon almost dropped the phone in shock, Changkyun most likely hearing his embarrassing shuffling.

“Are you alive? How are you? I wanted to call but Namjoon told us to stay away for a bit. How is Hoseok? Are you together?” The low voice on the other end lacked the usual amusement and was full of worry instead. 

“No, I’m alone. I was told to go to my apartment and Hoseok is at his place. Shit, I hope he’s okay. Have you not talked to him yet? You should call and make sure he’s okay later.” Hyungwon’s thoughts just left his mouth like a waterfall, everything mixing up and only the fact that Hoseok had not talked to Changkyun yet and that Hyungwon had also been a dick, not calling yet, drowning him. Why were they always like this? Shouldn’t it be easier?

“Why didn't you call? You're the one on the pictures with his tongue inside your mouth. Did you fight? He's probably bathing in self pity, thinking he fucked everything up. Why can't you just behave like normal people? Seriously.” 

Good question, but Hyungwon had his reasons. Changkyun would need about five seconds to figure out whether Hyungwon was fine or not. Knowing how attentive Hoseok was it would probably be even less for him and the lawyer didn’t want him to make any wrong conclusions.

Hyungwon sighed. “That’s exactly why I didn’t call, Changkyun. I’m kind of a mess right now to be honest and I didn’t want him to worry even more. I’ll calm down a little and then I’ll call him all confident and strong and make sure he’s not doubting himself.” 

He missed Hoseok. A lot.

“Okay I'll take care of Hoseok. I'll call Minhyuk. You're probably also bathing in self pity, hanging around like a rag, not eating and looking like shit.” Changkyun was right as usual. 

The lawyer just chuckled at the words, confirming with a quiet ‘yeah’ and staring over to the fridge, remembering it’s emptiness.

“Changkyun, I kinda…,” Hyungwon started, but it was kind of pathetic. As if he couldn’t take care of himself. 

_ You can’t.  _

“I don’t have food. Like, at all.” 

“Are you mental? Are you trying to die Hyungwon? I'm calling Minhyuk. Don't move anywhere,” he huffed and hung up. 

Changkyun hanging up on him was really a thing. He couldn’t even remember if it had ever been him saying goodbye.

_ That one time when you decided to stop pitying yourself and get Hoseok’s forgiveness. _

Right. That. 

Shit, Hyungwon really had to call him, but preferably after getting food, possibly sorting out his work and knowing what he was dealing with. He didn’t want to end up promising everything was going to be fine and then panic like a little bitch afterwards, making it worse. Just like before he wanted to see Hoseok but was denying himself for the sake of the other’s peace.

_ Can you be sure that it’s for his peace? Didn’t you agree to stop deciding for each other? _

They did, but Hoseok could call as well. Maybe he himself wasn’t ready to talk to Hyungwon yet and needed time to let the situation sink it. It was a lot to handle after all. The lawyer was going to figure out what being publicly involved with Hoseok meant for him and then he’d call, preferably able to see the other man instead of hiding out at his apartment.

Not even five minutes passed with Hyungwon still curled up on the couch and staring at nothing when the door opened with a bang and the delicious smell of cookies filled Hyungwon’s nose drills. Fuck he was starving.

“Are you okay sweetie?” Minhyuk screamed from the hallway although Hyungwon would have heard him either way. The light haired man just threw his shoes somewhere judging by the noises of the air and the final clonk. 

“I was great until you decided to destroy my walls,” Hyungwon commented. He hadn’t been great but he really detested admitting it.

“The only one destroying your walls should be Hoseok.”

Minhyuk entered the living room, glancing at the lawyer’s curled up form and his face softened immediately, smile on his lips and eyes warm. A plate with warm cookies was balancing on his flat palm in addition to a pot under his arm.

“You’re trying to pretend to be okay again Hyungwon. Don’t bother. Congratulations on being famous and eat a cookie while I try to warm up something proper. I made stew in abundance for Hyunwoo yesterday, so there should still be some left.”

The monologue continued for a while, something about constantly trying hard without harvesting any fruit (probably a metaphor) but Hyungwon was too focused on the plate with the cookies and how they melted in his mouth to react.

“You’re an angel,” he mumbled, crumbles taking up most of the space, not leaving enough for his voice. Instead of cold he felt way too hot in the huge blanket, freeing himself from its confinement. Minhyuk grinned back, sitting down next to him and hugging him tightly.

“I’m so happy that you guys got your shit together. I assume kissing in public means that you’re dating right? I hope. Seriously if you’re leading him on then you’re such a-”

“We’re dating Minhyuk.”

“Oh, nevermind then. Congratulations, you guys are the best couple ever. I’d sign you up for magazines if you wouldn’t already be all over them.” The grin spread even wider and Hyungwon stuffed a cookie into Minhyuk’s mouth, hoping for a few seconds of peace. Instead of disappearing the grin just got nastier, cookie not an obstacle.

“I was curious about something Hyungwon. Did you like my present?”

Choking on the next cookie he stuffed in his mouth Hyungwon remembered the black vibrator that he received and that was STILL lying in his kitchen. Neither Hoseok nor him had touched it since then and Hyungwon was not going to explain what it was doing there in case Minhyuk found it. 

Honestly was the way, so maybe he would.

“It’s in the kitchen. We got kind of distracted and just left it there. Scared the shit out of me to be honest but Hoseok looked intrigued.”

Minhyuk laughed loudly, hitting Hyungwon’s shoulder in the process for no reason. “Hoseok is a good guy and definitely a keeper. Ask him to introduce me to some hottie he knows.”

“I know. I’ll consider asking,” Hyungwon replied and inhaled another cookie. He already felt a little bit better with some food in his stomach, just the absence of Hoseok and his voice was pressuring him.

_ And the mass of people still in front of your door and not letting you leave. _

Hyungwon’s facial expressions must have revealed something as amusement made way for worry, warm hand massaging his neck and shoulders.

“People will forget it eventually Hyungwon. They forget everything that doesn’t concern them directly. They take it, chew it, spit it out and forget it. It’s just a while that you have to deal with this and then it’ll be fine I’m sure.” Minhyuk was talking softly, as if Hyungwon was a child, convincing him of everything turning out fine. The lawyer thought the same but that didn’t improve the situation he was in at the moment. A possible solution in the future didn’t nullify the problems at present.

“If you didn’t use my present, why were you wincing when you sat down at the club?” The change of topic was sudden and absolutely unrelated to Hyungwon’s problems. His eyes widened and he stared at Minhyuk, who just grinned back raising an eyebrow.

“I-” Hyungwon began, but had no fucking clue what a good excuse would be. Did he even really need one? Sure Minhyuk was going to ask shitloads of questions, but maybe Hyungwon could just answer them quickly. 

“We had sex.”

Minhyuk’s eyes widened this time, mouth opening and hands waving around in the air. 

“Wow, that’s awesome! Hoseok is probably heaven. Was it recent enough to sing ‘I just had sex?’”

Hyungwon laughed at that. Of course Minhyuk was going to push random pop culture references into the whole thing. Hoseok would have loved to see that, Hyungwon actually telling someone about sleeping with him and not giving a single shit. The producer was his boyfriend so of course he slept with him. Hoseok was such a beautiful human being and Hyungwon hated not being able to see him.

_ You still haven’t called Hoseok you idiot. _

_ Later. Just wait until your mind has settled. _

Successfully distracting from his sex life by pointing out his lack of nutrients Hyungwon pressed himself further into the pillows and watched Minhyuk run around panicky in his kitchen, trying to warm up some stew and talking about the important things in life. Good friends, food and amazing lovers, which were things that Hyungwon had now finally achieved according to the silver-haired man rummaging around in his drawers.

He was probably right, but Hyungwon couldn’t fight the consequences that kept creeping up on him. The two of them had decided to date and had unfortunately made their relationship public. But even if the interest faded, could they just act like other people? Would the two of them ever be able to lead a normal relationship? Going wherever they wanted to? Kiss if they wanted to? 

_ No, Hyungwon. You wouldn’t, because Hoseok is famous and both of you are male.  _

_ Unfair, sad but as simple as that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels so empty to be posting the last chapter on Saturday. We hope that you enjoyed the ride until now and are looking foward to the end of the story (with mixed feelings), just as we are. 
> 
> We can't wait to read your feedback!
> 
> Come and talk to us on Twitter as well! (We also write about updates there and fawn over Hyungwonho.)
> 
> @Hichanchen  
> @Smut_Hemingway


	29. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me Hoseok, I'm emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult to believe that this is the final chapter, but it really is.
> 
> We hope you'll enjoy this one as much as you have enjoyed the last 28, following us on the journey of the story for about 2 months.

Being alone was bad. It lacked everything that was utterly important in dealing with his problems. The main problem being the insecurity. Hyungwon had said he would call after taking a shower but it was sunday evening and he still hadn’t called.

_Maybe he drowned in the fucking shower._

Maybe. Hoseok had spent the whole Saturday hanging on his phone, talking to Namjoon and organizing work outside of his studio, postponing deadlines and answering questions regarding his state. Namjoon had prepared the statement for release on monday morning and kept him updated about the situation at Hyungwon’s place, but the protagonist of this whole drama hadn’t considered it necessary to show any signs of life.

_Why don't you call Hoseok? What kind of kindergarten behaviour is this?_

He wanted to, but he didn't know what to say, while getting angry without reason. The story with the reporter Hyungwon had apparently slept with made him furious and they hadn’t been able to talk about it at all, although Hoseok’s implicit feeling told him they definitely should've.

Those forty hours without the other man made a lot of things clear, stuff he hadn’t realized before.

Hyungwon was a workaholic. He was competent and he was smart. Hoseok was a workaholic too, competent in his field but absolutely soft and insecure when it came to Hyungwon. The problematic point was that he couldn't continue being a person like that. The other needed someone he could lean on when shit hit the fan, instead of being forced to wipe tears from Hoseok’s face while he was having a mental breakdown himself.

Yes, it was his fault. Yes, he was famous and yes he was the one who kissed Hyungwon in public. But the lawyer had said he loved him. He had said it and Hoseok believed it. He just didn't understand why the other would sleep with someone else while being with him at the same time.

He felt bitter.

_And jealous._

He wanted to go out on the plaza and scream that Hyungwon was his into every person's face, individually.

Fuck, he needed to resolve everything. He had realized that something was tying him up, not allowing him to be happy and act just the way he considered right.

_Just embrace your greed Hoseok. Just give in. You didn't do anything wrong. Mistakes are mistakes but you love him, don't you?_

His phone vibrated and he took the call immediately, starting the conversation Changkyun style.

“I love him Changkyun. Even if he slept with that stupid reporter woman. He could sleep with them all and I'd still love him.”

_Well that went well Hoseok. You sound like a twelve year old after his first orgasm._

“Good for you, although I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Are you talking about Won? What woman? He's sitting at home, elaborating about how to shelter you from any kind of sad emotion while starving himself to death. You two are seriously the worst couple I've ever seen in my life.”

Hoseok’s heart sank to his stomach at the words.

“What do you mean starving?” he asked, waiting for a reply that would make his worries disappear, but Changkyun got incredibly mad instead.

“Why? Why aren't you two talking to each other? You make me so fucking angry. Hoseok, you're an idiot. Your famous ass creates trouble and you just think about Won fucking women while Hyungwon that idiot hangs around at home two days, without eating, not calling because he thinks you'll be sad. I want to slap you both. Get your shit together. Do you really want to be like that to each other? I'm not a fucking relationship advice board. I can't score for weeks because I'm busy resolving your first world problems. Fuck.”

Wow. Hoseok was not used to deal with murderous Changkyun going all out at him. But the contents of his monologue crept into Hoseok’s consciousness slowly.  
  
“Really? Is that why he didn’t call? Why is he like this?” He couldn’t understand why Won would avoid making him sad.  
  
“Argh, Hoseok. He loves you and you keep pitying yourself and thinking you know what’s best. Where the fuck did your balls go? Where did the ‘Hyungwon is so annoying that my dick fit in those illegal pants’ person go? You weren’t like this before. I understood when you were heartbroken but now I don’t understand you at all. I’ll say it one more time. Get your shit together Hoseok!” Changkyun hung up.  
  
Why did he never wait for an answer? What the actual fuck?

But he was right. Hoseok thought about the first time they met, what kind of personality and behaviour he showed towards Hyungwon. He had been self-confident and could make decisions easily if he had thought that it was the right thing to do.  
  
_You’re just scared. Screw it Hoseok. Just do what you think is right._  
  
Fingers pressed on the contact and he waited for the low voice before he spoke.  
  
“Listen, will someone die if I’ll just drive over to Won’s apartment now?”  
  
“Uhm I wouldn’t say dying, but…,” Namjoon elaborated but Hoseok was faster.  
  
“Nice, I’m off then. Bye.” He hung up, grabbed his coat, car keys and ran out.  
  
Turning into Hyungwon’s parking garage, he spotted a couple of reporters that stood in front of the back entrance. Those snakes were really something else, knowing exactly that people wouldn’t take the main entrance in a situation like that.  
  
A short look in the overhead mirror. Black bangs fell nicely over his forehead, light blush from running, lips red. His fashion was on point, although he just threw on what looked at him from the first row of his shelf. Black suit shirt, hugging his muscles perfectly, grey suit pants and a burberry coat.  
  
Fuck yes.  
  
Well that’s more like you, isn’t it Hoseok?  
  
He stepped out of his black Audi, pressing the key button once and walking towards the back entrance, bright smile on his face. The cameras started flashing, but he didn’t care at all. A woman held a microphone right into his face asking trivial shit about his relationship to Hyungwon.  
  
“Good evening ladies and gentleman. I’m Shin Hoseok and I’m here for private matters, which is why I would kindly ask you to get out of my face and get a life on your way out. Contact my lawyer if you have any relevant questions and he will get back to you if it’s something I consider worth answering.” He winked at the female reporter shamelessly and she blushed, almost dropping her microphone.  
  
Relatable. His wink was the shit.  
  
Passing the security door and nodding at the guard, who almost immediately recognized him, he walked to the elevator, euphoria flowing through his veins.  
  
He was happy. Absolutely and genuinely happy.

Without a second thought his fingers hit the bell, again and again until the lock clicked and the door opened.

Hyungwon, at least what was visible of him and identifiable as Hyungwon, was covered by a blanket, pyjamas peeking out at his feet and gaze suspicious, as if he hadn't been sure whom to expect. As soon as his gaze fell on Hoseok’s face his eyes became huge, taking up most of his pretty face and he dropped the comforter.

“Hoseok!” he exclaimed, almost screaming through the whole hallway. “How did you manage to get here?” Hyungwon's fingers jerked as if they wanted to move towards him, but he stopped himself, fumbling with his pyjama shirt instead.

“By car. You look marvellous babe.” Hoseok found the sight terrific, the lawyer in a blanket in his pyjamas. He wanted to hug him so badly. “Can I come in, or did you get another boyfriend while not calling? Or girlfriend.” He grinned.

Hyungwon looked baffled, mouth opening slightly and scanning Hoseok from head to toes.

“Why the hell would I get a new boyfriend when Shin fucking Hoseok is standing in front of my door looking hot as fuck? But why is he here though?” The lawyer looked confused but intrigued, watching Hoseok intently, analysing his facial expressions.

“Because you're mine,” he exclaimed loud and clear before walking in and getting rid of his shoes slowly. 

Hyungwon just stood there at the door, staring at him like he was the eighth wonder of the world, mouth opening and closing. After what could have been seconds or minutes he shut the door and stepped nearer to Hoseok’s hunching form.

“I am indeed,” he whispered, eyes searching for something but not finding it. 

“See? That's why I'm here and that's also the reason why I told the reporters to fuck off. Did you eat, you crazy person?” He looked up waiting for an answer.  
  
Hyungwon nodded, eyes taking up all of his face again.

“Oh my god,” he murmured eventually. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” His arms curled around Hoseok’s neck and would have squashed him, had he not been double Hyungwon's weight. “You're mental but I fucking love you Hoseok. Oh my god.”

“We need to talk. Are you able to, or do you need to dress and wash your face first? I personally don't care because you're the most beautiful person I've seen in my life, but you're pretty concerned about yourself.” A bright grin spread across his face.

He felt so good.  
  
Hyungwon breathed in loudly, eyes moving over Hoseok’s face with quick saccades, then he grinned back.

“How about I wash my face and _un_ dress? But yeah I'd like to look alive. Just a side question, make-up sex afterwards, yes or no?” He smiled but it was a little insecure, the lawyer obviously worried about what Hoseok wanted to talk about, but secure enough because of the confession he received instead of a greeting.

“You are part of my basic human needs Hyungwon. But we need to talk first.”

Insecurity returned to the lawyer's face, he nodded quickly, removing the long arms from around Hoseok’s neck and disappeared into the bathroom.

Hoseok sat down on the familiar leather couch, those times they were here flashed before his eyes, how insecure and stupid they behaved, not able to say what they actually wanted to, talking with their bodies instead, fuelling misunderstandings and making up without resolving the most basic thing.

_You won't be scared anymore Hoseok. Be yourself, just say what you think. He needs to love you for your personality and not for your considerate bullshiting._

The bathroom door opened and he heard how Hyungwon walked to the bedroom instead, rummaging in his wardrobe.

“Almost done!” the man called from the other side of the apartment. Some more fumbling noises later he walked into the living area, clad in tight jeans and a loose t-shirt, oversized pastel-colored pullover in his hands which he pulled over his head, palms rolling up into sweater paws.

Sitting down next to Hoseok and pulling his legs up to his chest he watched him, shy smile on his lips and arms curled around himself. Despite probably worrying about what Hoseok wanted to talk about the other man looked really happy, unbelievably beautiful and happy.

“Shoot.”  
  
“Wow, you’re ethereal Chae Hyungwon. If I was a reporter I’d also camp in front of your house, just to see that face in real life.”  
  
_That was not what you wanted to talk about Hoseok, get your shit together._

“Thank you Hoseok. You're mesmerizing yourself. What did you want to talk about?” Hyungwon cut to the chase quick, probably dying to know how serious it was.  
  
_Now or never. Just spill everything out._  
  
“Can I be absolutely honest with you? Wait you know what, I won’t even ask you. First let’s get the facts straight. I love you and I want you. I want to be together with you, always, every fucking second. I even thought about moving in with you multiple times, because I can’t handle not seeing you for more than half an hour. Now you tell me why you slept with that woman Namjoon was talking about. You didn’t deny it so I assume it’s true.” His expression was serious as the talk was something that really mattered and he wanted to have answers.

All of them.

Today.

Hyungwon looked surprised at the words leaving Hoseok’s lips, smiling until he had mentioned the reporter. Watching his expression the lawyer let go of his knees and sat up a little.

“That was when you changed your number and didn't talk to me. When I hated you, believing that you used me like a whore and wanted to return to your much more satisfying hook ups. Which wasn't the case, but I didn't know that back then.” Hyungwon chuckled bitterly at the words, burying his head in his knees and mumbling the next words. “She was my pathetic attempt to return to my straight life, which is ironic cause I never had a one night stand in my life before that. On top of that it wasn't even successful because she wasn’t you, so I hated you some more.”  
  
Hoseok couldn’t help but looking a little shocked. He didn’t expect that much honesty in perfect detail. A big weight was lifted from his shoulders and he continued.  
  
“Why did you walk out of my studio, not even saying a thing, bulshitting me about being friends afterwards, me appearing on that dance floor being the only reason we talked back then at all?”

The lawyer appeared more hesitant this time, fingers playing with the sweater paws.

“When you said that you're not a fuck boy I panicked,” he began carefully, hand switching to play with the suit pants surrounding Hoseok’s thigh instead of his own pullover. “Since you weren't a fuck boy it meant that my whole view of the situation was wrong. I thought we were acting on mutual physical attraction that would break as soon as you got tired of me not knowing shit. Realizing that's not what you usually do terrified me. It meant that I wasn't the one who was getting hurt, but you. It scared me and I just ran. Like an idiot.”  
  
Hoseok’s smile became a little sad while he tried to formulate the next question carefully.  
  
“Why did you come back then? Inviting me for a drink and everything else that happened that night? If you knew that I liked you? I was falling apart at the thought that you only wanted to have fun whereas I was absolutely doomed, knowing exactly that it wasn’t mutual.” He turned to Hyungwon, catching his gaze.

Guilt took over the lawyer's face, fingers burying into Hoseok’s thigh, until he realised and pulled them towards his chest.

“That's because I'm a selfish asshole. I wanted to stay away for your sake. I thought I could, knowing that it would be much harder for you and that I'm the one responsible.” The lawyer swallowed, expression pained. “But I couldn't fucking do it. I thought I just wanted to be close to a man, but that was bullshit. I wanted to be close to you, so I gave up.”

A sad smile graced Hyungwon's features, fingers drawing patterns on the armrest of the couch.

“I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing you again so I hoped to be your friend, having you around at least in some way. When we met at the dance floor everything just escalated again and when you gave me the way out by touching you despite your feelings I just grasped it tightly and didn't let go. Like a coward.” He was looking at his knees, unable to lift his gaze and curling his arms around his legs.  
  
“You know all those things, they made me feel really bad about myself. I always thought I was the one forcing and seducing you into things, you didn’t want. Running away, then coming back. Partially using me and my affection for you. I felt really guilty all this time. It was the reason for not being able to tell you that you are mine. It was the reason for being hesitant with everything. Thank you for being so honest and answering my questions. Do you also have something you want to know? No bullshitting, I promise.” Hoseok smiled at the beautiful figure, sitting on the couch shyly curled up, big eyes staring at him. He almost melted again, but they had to talk until nothing was standing between them.

Absolutely nothing.

Hyungwon nodded, inhaling and exhaling calmly, looking at the ground, before he looked up again, ready to speak.

“But I told you so often that the feeling was mutual and that I wanted you and that I knew what I was doing. Why did you never believe me? Even when I confessed.”  
  
Hyungwon was right. He just assumed he knew better.  
  
_Self-reflection Hoseok._  
  
“Yes you are absolutely right. I only concentrated on the things that made sense to me, and you liking me was not among them. I’m sorry that I just ignored how you felt. I was extremely scared to get hurt this time. I thought if you said you liked me, and then left me, I would be much less willing to get over it than in the case that you didn’t like me from the start. Although the outcome would’ve still be the same right? As if it would’ve hurt less. I was such an idiot.” Hoseok shifted a little, trying to close the distance as much as possible. He felt the absolute need to be next to Hyungwon.

“Well now you know better right?” The lawyer smiled at him, stretching out his hand, inviting Hoseok to grasp it. He took it, squeezing it in his palm.  
  
“What do you plan on doing Won? What will you do with all this? The reporters will fuck off eventually and the statement will be out tomorrow. Still wanna stay with me?” He asked accompanied by a smirk, as he could bet he knew the answer to the last question.

“Yeah, and no one else,” the lawyer replied, warm smile turning his eyes into half-moons. “But I'm not done asking questions yet.”  
  
That was sudden, but he fucked up so many times that he probably had to endure a questioning session lasting the whole night.  
  
“Uhm can I have something to drink? Ah you know what, I’ll just act as if I’m home.” He stood up and went to the minibar, remembering all those things that happened. They seemed to have a thing for disgracing furniture. He walked back after pouring himself a cognac and taking a quick look at his watch, making sure it was late enough. 

“Thank god you answered that question yourself. I was just about to remind you that you're my boyfriend and said you'd like to move in with me only a couple of minutes ago.” Hyungwon laughed and finally relaxed against the couch, one knee still pulled up to his chest and the other resting on the ground.

_Fuck, you’d say it again Hoseok._

“Why did you give your body to me even though you knew that I didn't feel the same?” The question was sudden, Hyungwon's gaze hardening at the words.

Saying that he wasn’t prepared for a question like that would’ve been an understatement. His eyes widened and he tried to think. Searching for a reason that sounded at least semi plausible.  
  
“You know, life is ambivalent isn’t it? You can’t be happy without being sad. I think it is something similar. It made me so happy seeing the bliss on your face, enjoying my touch and asking for it, that it made me even more unhappy afterwards. But then again, when you decided you wanted it, the happiness struck back like a boomerang and I couldn’t think about anything else.” He twirled the liquid in his glass and took a sip.

“Why didn't you give me everything then? It wasn't for lack of asking.” The other man stared right into his eyes, a little intimidating, but Hoseok was simply confused.  
  
_Everything?_  
  
He tilted his head to the right, staring back into Hyungwon’s eyes, trying to find an explanation in his face.  
  
“I didn’t? What did you want to have?”

Hyungwon took a deep breath, eyes not leaving Hoseok’s face and still intimidating in their aura.

“Your dick. Inside me Hoseok. Why didn’t you sleep with me?”

_Oh. Oh god._

“I did. Just later. I...was scared. Hobi left after I gave in and I didn't want to before I was sure that you loved me.” He couldn't help blushing a little, although his confidence didn't suffer much.

Hyungwon frowned.

“I just don’t understand. I thought it was because I didn’t love you in general, but then you shouldn’t have given me anything. Why did you give me everything except for that? Did Hobi say ‘oh okay your dick inside me was kinda meh so I’m not gay anymore’ or what? I doubt that’s how it went.”

Hoseok thought back, reflecting and recollecting the events, trying to make sense of his own memories.

“No. He really liked it, but I finished the track and went back. He didn't call me after that.”  
  
Hyungwon stared, gaze critical.

“But why the hell didn’t you call yourself? Not like I’m blaming you because I’m greedy as fuck and you’re mine now, but I’m wondering why you need others to act first.”

“It made sense to me. He told me he was straight, then we were intimate and it made sense that he wouldn't call because for him it might have been a fun experience, nothing more. I guess that's what Hobi meant when he said I should stop assuming and thinking I know better.” So many thoughts went in and out of his head, confusing him.

Hyungwon nodded calmly, squeezing Hoseok’s hand in his.

“I think I do the same Hoseok. Just assuming that not bothering you with my own problems is a good thing and thereby avoiding you without actually wanting to. But I think we can get this under control, by talking about it for instance. Thank you for coming. Really.” He smiled and placed a careful kiss on Hoseok’s palm, laying it down onto his lap.

“I have to be honest with you Hoseok. The realization that we’ll never be able to have a simple relationship as I used to have freaked me out quite a bit. Knowing that people will always care at least a little and that you can’t just go to any location you like, constantly making sure that the security is good and so on. But having you here and talking to me makes it easier for me. I just wish that you’d stand by me through this even if I have really dumb ideas sometimes. Just tell me I’m dumb please when that happens.”

“I asked Namjoon to recommend me a lawyer,“ Hoseok blurted out changing the topic completely, grinning like a kid on Christmas eve while Hyungwon’s eyes widened.

“What? That is kinda sudden. So, you found a good one to take care of everything?”

Hoseok pulled out his phone and opened Namjoon’s mail with the recommendation, clicking the PDF file with the CV and a list of successful cases.

“I didn't ask him yet.” He shoved the phone into Hyungwon’s face, a model like business image staring back at him from the display, annoyed expression in place.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes.

“Why the fuck are you pushing my CV into my face you creep? Did you stalk me or something?” He laughed until he suddenly stopped, eyes widening and staring at the phone again, grabbing it and clicking back, most likely to see whether it was actually what Namjoon sent Hoseok.

“Are you fucking kidding me? But I have only worked with copyright in my first year. That’s ages ago. I only reread copyright law this month, it’s fresh and not used properly yet. Holy fuck.” Hyungwon was panicking a little, mumbling whatever came to his head. It was cute, especially since he revealed that he obviously cared enough to start reading copyright law, nothing he would require in his daily blackmailing cases.  
  
“Joon said you’re a genius and I should be happy if you said yes. He also said he would sit down with you for a week before going to L.A. to talk everything over. If you’re willing to, that is.” He wished the other would agree. They could intertwine their lives even more and there was nothing that Hoseok hoped for more than that.

“Shit, of course I am. Holy fuck Hoseok that is amazing. I could pretend to have business with you and harass you at work. That’s like a fucking dream job.” Hyungwon grinned, excitement obvious on his face, talking non stop and waving his arms around.

Then the lawyer’s whole body froze suddenly, eyes widening.

“Wait.” He grabbed Hoseok’s arm with force. “Wait a minute. You’re not going to pay me in masses for no reason, making me feel like a prostitute again, are you? And you’re not doing this because you think I’ll lose my job?”  
  
There he was, thinking Hoseok would be a charity organisation for him, although Hyungwon didn’t even need it in the first place.  
  
“Sure, move into my apartment and let’s share my bank account. Then you don’t have to fear that you’re treated like a prostitute,” Hoseok said but forgot the sarcasm.

Hyungwon blinked, eyes wide and fingers still holding onto Hoseok’s arm as they had when he lived through his outburst of doubts. He kept inhaling and exhaling loudly, shock obvious.

“Okay,” he breathed out eventually, barely audible and fingers tightening on his arm.  
  
_Wait what? Did he just agree to move in with you Hoseok? And to everything else? Fuck._  
  
“Okay? You can say it just like that? We know each other for two months and you agree to move in with me? I mean not that I didn’t think about that, but it surprises me a little.” His eyes widened, not able to hide the shock, but euphoria blurred his vision instead.  
  
_He really loves you Hoseok, you lucky bastard._  
  
The lawyer chuckled, letting go of Hoseok’s arm and hugging his knee again, looking down at the ground as if it made things easier, especially talking about emotionally relevant decisions.

“You know Hoseok. Each relationship I had, stayed for a few years and I have not even once considered moving in with them or even seeing them more frequently than three times a week. Maximum. But when you asked me just now there was nothing else in my head except for the image of constantly having you around, watching the fucking beauty that is the view outside your window with you and telling you to stop being dumb when you don’t get something again. My head just screamed yes at all of it, so I agreed.” A shiver passed through Hyungwon’s body, but his facial expression was too happy for it to be anything bad. “Oh fuck, your sappiness is infectious isn’t it?” The smile was blinding, Hoseok’s euphoria being reflected back through the beautiful man in front of him.  
  
He wanted to make breakfast for him, every fucking day, watch him dress up for work and hear him talk about annoying clients, apart from himself. He was annoying too. A thought crossed his mind and verbalized in a matter of seconds, before he was able to reconsider.  
  
“I love you and I really want to be with you. Always. You can try living and working with me for a month. Let’s move together, if you haven’t choked me after those four weeks.” The idea was pretty good, they could try living and working together, without jumping dick first into a volcano and ruining their relationship in the process.  
  
He was happy. Genuinely happy.  
  
_You are not afraid of what’s about to come. Because you know you can handle it all. Welcome back Hoseok._  
  
Hyungwon’s ethereally beautiful face, those big brown eyes full of trust and affection, everything about the man next to him was perfect.  
  
He is perfect for you.

Hands grabbed his shoulders and within seconds he had a lap full of Hyungwon, long legs squeezing his thighs and arms circling around his neck, lips pressing down on his.

“Deal.”  
  
The warm tongue moved while he breathed the word into Hoseok’s mouth.  
  
_And you are perfect for him._  
  


***

 

Hyungwon had always believed that he knew exactly what feeling happy was. It was that sensation that filled your body when you sat on the couch, didn’t have to go anywhere and could close your eyes with a hot chocolate in your right hand and a package of ice cream that you didn’t regret eating in your left. Or that feeling he had when he won a case, proud of himself and smile automatically gracing his lips.

But none of those perceptions resembled what he felt when Hoseok looked him in the eyes, sitting on his couch, thighs touching and his hand grasping the producers arm tightly, asking him to move in together. It should have been a scary thought. It should have, but it wasn’t.

Images of Hoseok next to him filled his mind, one after the other and each sending more spikes of euphoria through his veins than the previous one. Hoseok making breakfast, them sitting together and watching a bad movie, enjoying the sight through Hoseok’s french window, cuddling up together in bed and never freezing again, seeing Hoseok smile like an angel every fucking day and being able to return home and see nothing but him.

The feeling was nothing like what he knew happiness to be. He yearned to jump around and scream, squish Hoseok with the intensity of his hugs, whisper how much he loved him although he already knew and it was superfluous and saying it again wouldn’t change anything.

“Okay,” he answered finally and it included the most emotions he had ever put into a single word, body shaking with the strength he needed to stay in place and not accidentally kill Hoseok by squishing the air out of his lungs.

When Hoseok asked him for the reason he didn’t hesitate long, grabbing his knee to make it easier to concentrate and focusing on the emotions that rushed through him, when Hoseok had asked him. Euphoria at its purest.

He was genuinely willing to move in with Hoseok, a man he knew for a little more than two months and was already prepared to spend every waking hour with. If he could reduce sleep and spend those hours with Hoseok as well, he would. In reasonable amounts.

_You’ve never liked someone as much as that Hyungwon. Grab him and never let him go._

The lawyer lost all ability to keep his face in check, smile wiping every controlled facial expression away and replacing it with crescent eyes, wide lips and an open mouth, showing teeth. Not hesitating any longer he grabbed Hoseok’s shoulder and threw himself on his lap, squeezing the producer’s thighs between his and circling his arms around his neck, pressing him closer and inhaling his scent before he closed the distance between their lips, melting into the kiss.

Living with Hoseok for a month to try it out? Yes. Was he sure? Yes. Did he intend on choking Hoseok? Probably, but nothing fatal.

“Deal,” he breathed against the other man’s mouth before covering it with his own, licking over his teeth and nibbling on his lower lip, emotions too intense to calm down, hands grabbing his hair and pulling lightly, tilting Hoseok’s head for better access.

“You're better than my Audi. It needs four seconds to accelerate from zero to hundred kilometers per hour, but you’re there after what feels like two,” Hoseok breathed out, hands curling around his waist in the process, pushing him closer to his chest.

Hyungwon felt like melting, body hot and heart beating furiously, but it wasn’t the excitement or the fear he felt previously. Instead he was so happy that he wanted to jump around on Hoseok’s lap like a ridiculous person, grab his neck and press it to his body, anything to increase contact.

“Shit, I’m so fucking happy, please hold me close. Squish me or something. I have too much energy,” he murmured, pressing his forehead into Hoseok’s and breathing against his lips, numbing his senses with his scent. Telling himself that he had time, Hoseok was his, he wouldn’t be going anywhere, he exhaled slowly, fingers shivering as they stroked through the black hair.  
  
“What is this sorcery Chae Hyungwon? First you go from blanket-burrito to an expensive five course meal. Then you go from zero to hundred in like two seconds and now you’re making me hard and emotional at the same time, what the actual fuck?” The muscular chest moved up and down while Hoseok tried to catch his breath.

Hyungwon giggled, it was soft and barely audible but definitely a giggle. He bridged the few centimeters with his lips again, covering Hoseok’s whole face with little kisses, finishing up with a tender touch to his nose.

“Fuck me Hoseok, I’m emotional and need to feel you. Everything of you.”

Hyungwon had never felt more thankful for his ability to think ahead than he did now, wanting nothing more than Hoseok as close as possible without any interruptions.

“Now?” The low voice vibrated against his shoulder that Hoseok was kissing. The sound alone send spikes through Hyungwon’s lower body and they hadn’t done anything but kiss yet.

He nodded, falling back into his behavioural patterns with Hoseok, not feeling ready to talk with the way his body was melting in the other man’s arms.  
  
Long fingers went under his pullover and shirt, lifting it up, slowly uncovering his slim figure, Hoseok eating up every single spot with his dark brown eyes.  
  
“Be a good boy and take the rest off for me.” He looked up under his black bangs and the gaze was no fucking joke.

Hyungwon couldn’t help but smile at that, familiar with how much Hoseok loved it when he undressed for him. He stood up from the producer’s lap, ideas of all those things he was capable of doing with his body filling his brain with images. Grinning he walked over to his hi-fi equipment and connected his phone, grin still in place.

“Mind if I give you a show?” he asked, looking through his playlist and picking out ‘Pillow Talk’, remembering that Hoseok would most likely have some memories connected with it. He waited for the other man’s reply, wanting to surprise him with the first notes and thumb hovering over the button.

“I'd say yes even if you stood there with a gun pointed at my face asking whether you should pull the trigger. So fuck yes.” Apparently Hoseok wanted to tease too and opened two buttons of his black suit shirt, slowly moving his fingers, eye fucking him throughout the whole thing. The expressions he could pull off with his eyes were extraordinary. Hyungwon could imagine getting hard just by accidentally meeting the other man’s eyes on the street.  
  
_But now it’s your turn to get him going Hyungwon._

He smirked, pressing play and immediately beginning with a double turn, using it to move to the middle of the living room, utilizing the space to the fullest. Big movements followed, arms spreading out like wings accompanied by smooth body rolls. His arms passed over his hip bones, hips following the beat, and slowly moving up to his face. Emphasizing the change in the music he turned again, preparing for the beginning of the chorus. He kept his movements grande, fitting the smoothness of the song and the heavy bass, shoulders and legs turning into opposite directions just to be combined in a thrust right after.

Hyungwon loved the feeling that dancing gave him, complete control over his body, every movement precise and intended, nothing out of place. Every raised eyebrow, every flick of his wrist sending a signal and bringing a message across. Before he began to fulfill Hoseok’s request he smiled, staring up at the ceiling and turning while sinking to the floor slowly, ending up on his knees and rolling his shoulders to the music.

Grinning he decided for his final, sinking even further down, arms holding him up and smoothly rolling his hips into the ground, rolling over and thrusting up to the bass. Letting his hands brush his nipples and chest it wandered further, fingers exploring until they reached his jeans, opening the button with one hand while executing fine movements with his legs and moving his hips. The song was perfect for stripping and Hyungwon made a mental note to remember that for the future and thanked his past self for not singing Adele in Hoseok’s studio.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck," Hoseok whispered under his breath, eyes open widely, observing every movement of Hyungwon’s body, hands on both thighs, fingers abusing his muscles in the process.

Hyungwon bit his lip for effect, closing his eyes and throwing his head back as he slid his hand into his jeans, groaning at the sensation, louder than usual and slowly moving them down his thighs. Being creative he slipped out of them smoothly and stood up, just in time for the last notes of the song.

“Like it?” he asked, out of breath from the strain and turned off the music. He should have felt strange standing in front of Hoseok stark naked while the other man was completely dressed, but whatever insecurity he might have felt Hoseok’s face made up for all of it.

“I like the fact that you're mine.” Hoseok’s incredibly low voice echoed through the living room as the man stood up and walked over to him, slowly opening the remaining buttons of his shirt, before closing the distance completely, shirt sliding down his shoulders.

Hoseok was a dream come true, body and face such an enchanting combination that Hyungwon had difficulties deciding what he wanted to focus on, eyes moving up and down his form. His hands immediately found the warm skin, caressing the other man’s abs and dipping into the waistband of his suit pants, pulling him even closer.

_Too bad he doesn’t have a tie._

“I’m yours,” Hyungwon whispered, voice equally low and affected by the dark light and the way shadows were thrown on the producer’s beautiful face, jawline sharp and eyes focused, sucking him in and drowning him in their depth.

_Hyungwon, he can’t fuck you without lube though._

He almost huffed out loud at the thought, annoyed by how unpractical being a man was sometimes. Keeping Hoseok caught in the intensity of the atmosphere, he placed a finger on his lips, breathing against it.

“Wait here for a second babe. I’ll be right back.”

Hyungwon worried for a short moment that the nickname would freak Hoseok out, but remembered he had used it himself before, stealing Hyungwon’s attention instantly.

Hoseok nodded quickly, eyes not leaving his figure. The lawyer moved out of the room smoothly, imagining it to be like a dance before he closed the door and basically sprinted to the bedroom, fumbling in his drawer for the lube and tissues. He stared at the package of condoms for a couple of seconds until he decided to forsake it.

He was clean and if Hoseok was too then nothing spoke against feeling his boyfriend even more than he already did. Taking another deep breath he sprinted right back, pausing in front of the living room door to not sound too eager and slipped in, sinking back into smooth movements.

He walked up to Hoseok, placed the items in his hands on the table and kissed the other man’s lips, arms hugging his naked shoulders and enjoying how the muscles felt under his fingertips. The transition from his collarbones to the pecs and shoulders was unreal, Hyungwon wanted to cover it all with kisses, trace it with his tongue and remember forever. Well enough to be able to have a clear picture every time he closed his eyes.

“Are you clean Hoseok?” he asked suddenly. It didn’t fit the atmosphere but he needed to know before they moved on, getting it settled and losing himself in Hoseok without any further thoughts.

“Mhm, got tested after the blackmailing thing and was only with you after that.” Hoseok stepped back a little and moved his hands down, opening his suit pants and sliding them together with underwear down his legs in a smooth movement.

Hyungwon nodded. “I panicked because of the reporter and got tested. Only you after that.” He let his hands slip over Hoseok’s torso as soon as he stood in front of him again, fingers finding his erection as if on reflex and stroking it slowly, lips pressing kisses to his shoulders and neck.

Hoseok snapped and grabbed his thighs, lifting him up and pressed his back against the wall, the muscular chest applying pressure against his, lips crushing on him and teeth nibbling on the plump lower lip. The other man’s display of strength was sufficient to make Hyungwon forget his name, what he was doing and whether anything mattered except for the arms around him and the beautiful face in front of him, kissing him senseless. Nothing else mattered.

“Fuck I want you, I want you so much,” Hoseok groaned between the kisses.

“Then prepare me and take me Hoseok. Whatever you want,” Hyungwon answered, tightening his legs around Hoseok’s hips and adding some friction with his hand, sinking it between their bodies. Even the way the producer smelled was enough to numb his senses and crave for more.

Hoseok turned around and went to the couch, sitting down, Hyungwon resting on his lap like he belonged there.  
  
_You belong there Hyungwon. Exactly there._

Quick movements of Hoseok’s hands left and right and he was sitting over lube coated fingers, ready to slide in. The other man knew what he was doing and how to do it fast if necessary. Hyungwon was genuinely impressed, not having seen Hoseok get ready quickly. They had always been slow and torturous, for both of them.

“Fuck, you’re fast,” he commented with a smile and closed his eyes, relaxing his body as much as possible. This had been his longest break without sex (since Hoseok obviously) and his body had almost returned to its normal state, requiring proper preparation.

“I'm fast because I need to be inside of you so badly. And now kiss me.” He whispered the last part, lifting his face up to meet Hyungwon’s plump lips. The lawyer relaxed even further, closing his eyes and losing himself in the way Hoseok’s mouth moved against his. He loved kissing the other man. It didn’t feel like a challenge he had to win and neither did he have to do everything. He could just relax and let himself be led and if he decided to take over, Hoseok was there to let him, licking into his mouth and biting his lower lip.

Hoseok pushed a digit in, slowly, unlike his comment about not being patient enough, and adjusted the angle almost immediately. Hyungwon gasped, thighs contracting on the other man’s lap, but staying still as much as he could to let Hoseok prepare him. He didn’t want to come already, but to enjoy it to the fullest.

“Just hurry up so I can feel more of you without coming prematurely because you drive me crazy.”

“It needs to be fun though,” Hoseok breathed into his mouth and slid another finger in, waiting for a reaction. Hyungwon breathed deeply, getting used to it and hating himself a little for not letting Hoseok do what he did best, being careful and knowing better. He shifted and kissed the man under him, nibbling on his lower lip and moving his body up on his own before slowly sinking back onto the fingers. Exhaling in Hoseok’s face with each motion he moaned when the angle was right again, forgetting everything and burying his face in Hoseok’s neck, hips sliding up and down automatically and not giving a fuck.

“Shit you're so fucking hot. I'm adding another one and then it's my turn,” the low voice warned him before he felt more stretch, quickly adjusting to the new feeling.

“Everything you want babe,” Hyungwon moaned and bit the area connecting Hoseok’s neck and shoulder, knowing it was sensitive and using it to shut himself up sufficiently. His hips kept moving on their own, sinking down repeatedly and moaning around the skin he kept biting and kissing. Shit he was going to come if Hoseok didn’t hurry the fuck up.

“You better not touch my dick if you want me to last,” he groaned and hated how he couldn’t deny himself the pleasure, consciousness constantly leaving whenever Hoseok spoiled him.

A slow movement and he felt empty, rationality returning just to leave again at the mere thought of the other man finally being inside of him again. Hoseok concentrated on covering his erection in lube before looking up at him.

“I want you to ride me.”

Hyungwon nodded, closing his eyes and exhaled before lifting his hips.

“As I said. I’ll do everything you want.” He placed his palms properly on Hoseok’s shoulders to have enough leverage for what he was about to do. His legs were comfortable on each side of Hoseok’s thighs and his body already burned in anticipation, images of how Hoseok kept staring at him filling his brain even when he wasn’t looking at him.

“Come in,” he said with a smile, eyes still closed and held his hips up such that the other man could enter him easily before he would begin to move on his own.

Hoseok stared right into his soul while pushing himself in, slowly and carefully and it felt so different without the condom, warm and thick. Hyungwon could feel every vein and his eyes opened to watch Hoseok’s expression, confirming if the other man reacted the same way he himself did, overwhelmed and spellbound, basking in the feeling of skin on skin.

“You feel like heaven, seriously.” Hoseok’s eyes were wide open, bliss mixed with strain painted his cheeks in a light pink as he obviously tried not to move. Hyungwon's fingers held onto his shoulders tightly as he sank all the way down, sitting on Hoseok’s lap, thighs touching and breathing against his lips.

“I love the feeling of you fully inside of me. It feels complete somehow,” Hyungwon whispered, tickling Hoseok’s cheek by exhaling and let his fingers caress his shoulders and arms until he felt ready to move. Body relaxed and eyes opened to see every twitch and change in the other man's face, he lifted his hips until Hoseok was only barely inside of him and slid down right after, ass hitting the other man's thighs.

It didn't take long for him to built up a rhythm, angle perfect with the way he titled his lower body and feeling impossible to describe. He felt every little thing, easily able to tell when it was Hoseok’s tip entering him and when he slid along the shaft, completely buried inside him.

“Oh my god I feel fucking everything,” he mumbled, pleasure building up and taking away his control, legs shivering, breathing difficult and moans echoing through the room.

Hoseok placed his hands on his thighs, forcing him to stop the movements.

“I want to come so badly, but I really want to make you feel good before that, are you in?” He asked sucking in a breath, a nasty smile on his face.

“Always,” Hyungwon breathed out, eyes closing at the effort to stay in control of his movements and to not push against Hoseok’s hands.

_Let Hoseok spoil you Hyungwon, open your eyes and look at him._

Trying hard Hyungwon dug his fingertips further into the muscles of Hoseok’s shoulders and finally opened his eyes, watching how Hoseok’s chest rose and fell repeatedly, a few beads of sweat on his forehead, black strands sticking to his face. Hyungwon inhaled slowly, calming his body and removed a strand, curling it around his index finger and closing the distance between them.

“Good. And now get on all fours for me babe.” The way Hoseok said those words, low voice vibrating, was almost enough to send pleasure through his groin without being touched. The other man's gaze, so intense, adding up to the sensation.

Hyungwon wanted nothing more than do whatever Hoseok requested of him. However he needed details.

_He's going to fuck you senseless Hyungwon._

“But where? Couch, carpet, floor?” He raised an eyebrow and bit his lower lip, making very smooth circling motions with his hips.

“Argh don't tease me. Kneel in front of the couch, put your arms and head on it. I'll do the rest.” Hoseok just lifted him from his lap, as if he was fucking air, and pointed at the spot.

Hyungwon nodded and slid down the couch, resting his elbows and head on the soft leather and rising up on his knees. It was strange to be in such a position from the receiving end after only experiencing it actively. It felt vulnerable, not being able to see Hoseok behind him or what he was about to do.

_You know exactly what he's about to do Hyungwon._

He wasn't worried though. He felt vulnerable but knew exactly that Hoseok cared way too much about his well being to hurt him in any way. The other man was a fucking angel. It was difficult to understand how he had fluently transitioned from disliking Hoseok for his attitude to loving him more than anybody else and trusting him with absolutely everything.

“I trust you so much Hoseok, it's crazy,” he whispered, staring at his hands contrasting with the black leather and listening to Hoseok breathe behind him. He would have let the other man do anything without question.  
  
He felt Hoseok’s breath, as the other leaned over him, kissing his neck and shoulders, warm fingers stroking the skin of his back. It was soft like a warm breeze passing by, moist lips sucking on the sensitive spot behind his ear, small whispers leaving the other man’s mouth.  
  
“I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for making me a happy person.” It was barely audible but Hyungwon still caught on. A shiver passed through his body at the words, confession impossibly genuine despite not seeing the other man’s eyes. Hoseok had the ability to express everything through actions, gazes and did not require words, but Hyungwon still appreciated them, loving them even.

“I love you too Hoseok,” he whispered, any ironic comment he had considered saying dissipating into nothing. “I thought I was happy before I met you, but I wasn’t.”

The emotions they put into their interactions, into every kiss, every word, were intense. Hyungwon doubted that it was common to talk about feelings before fucking somebody doggy-style but Hoseok and him never really went for the usual either way.

After getting another incredibly soft kiss on his shoulder, he felt Hoseok getting ready behind him, hands covering the erection in lube and softly pressing against his ass.

“Fuck my life. It’s so weird that I don’t see you Hoseok, but it’s a little exciting,” Hyungwon whispered, eyes wide and focusing on every sound and every feeling. “Shit, why am I always saying those things aloud?”  
  
“Better you say them now babe, because I’m afraid you won’t be able to as soon as I start.” Hoseok chuckled, cockiness striking back with full force.  
  
“Less talk, more action bab-”

Hyungwon wasn’t able to finish properly as Hoseok decided to follow through faster than he could talk. Cockiness had returned to drive him mad, in the good way. Since he wasn’t able to see the producer either way he let his eyes fall shut, hands grabbing the leather and hips still, savouring the way Hoseok filled him out. He exhaled gradually to relax his body sufficiently to feel absolutely everything. Not seeing the other man made everything so much more intense, mind focusing on the haptic feedback instead of all the additional sensory sensations.  
  
After sliding in completely, Hoseok added up on the intense sensation by leaning forward and placing hot kisses against his back, hands grabbing his sides, and pulling Hyungwon further against him.  
  
“Tell me when you are ready for me to move.” The low voice accompanied by a hot breath directly next to his ear sent shivers through his body.

Hyungwon couldn’t believe how Hoseok always managed to top everything he did, one thing beating the next on every dimension. The other man inside of him without a barrier and warm body covering his, sped up his heart beat, fingers shivering from the passion emanating from his chest and groin.

“Do it,” he moaned, already overwhelmed although Hoseok hadn’t done much more than a few days ago.  
  
The nice thing about Hoseok was, that he didn’t need multiple invitations. Moving out slowly and sliding in faster, he held Hyungwon’s body perfectly in place and in the right angle, strong arms resembling iron, not moving an inch throughout the thrust. Hyungwon immediately pulled his mouth over his wrist to avoid screaming through the whole room, eyes still squeezed shut and air leaving his nose in harsh huffs.  
  
“I want to hear you scream for me Won. Don’t bother covering your mouth,” Hoseok hissed into his neck, hovering over him like a mountain.

Hyungwon had never been good at denying Hoseok anything. So he let go of his wrist immediately, moans and gasps spilling from his lips uncontrollably with the occasional groan of Hoseok’s name. The other man kept his body so still with his iron grip, control and bodily strength a turn on in itself.

“I can’t believe-” He cursed, body heating up at another particularly well angled thrust, nerves convulsing from his extremely sensitivity. “-you’re able to handle me so easily.”  
  
“It’s because you’re perfect for me. Fuck, your moans are driving me crazy. I think I need to move faster.” Hoseok didn’t even try hiding the dominance in his voice, one hand stroking up his back, raking through his hair, and pulling lightly, just to sink his teeth in the sensitive skin of Hyungwon’s neck.

Overwhelmed by the combination of Hoseok’s voice and his lips on him Hyungwon threw his head back, allowing the other man more access and enjoying more of the bodily warmth against his back. He was losing himself at a rapid speed, euphoria filling out every cell in his body.

“Fuck yes, please. Fuck me faster Hoseok. Everything you want. Everything.”  
  
“I’ll take it, as you’re offering it to me so nicely.” He felt the small chuckle against his neck before Hoseok slammed his hips into him, repeating the moves encouraged by the screams that left Hyungwon’s mouth. “Tell me when you’re close, I’m not done with you yet.”

_Holy fucking shit he wants to kill you, doesn’t he?_

Hyungwon would have asked but what were words? Absolutely overrated when he had the ability to just melt in the burning pleasure in his groin, building up steadily and capturing every sensible thought and banning it into a dark part of his brain that he had no access too. There was only one thing he knew and that was Hoseok all around him, taking up all the space inside him on all levels, be it bodily or mentally. Every time Hoseok slammed inside of him it was like a lightning strike, body burning but numbing his limbs at the same time, surroundings disappearing for a few seconds. He wasn’t even aware if he was still holding himself up or if Hoseok had taken over, just like he had taken over everything else.

When the familiar sensation began curling its fingers around Hyungwon’s consciousness he bit his lip, fighting to get his senses back and warn Hoseok just like he wanted him to. “I’m close,” he finally moaned out, eyes squeezed shut and panting vigorously.  
  
As if waiting exactly for that moment, Hoseok curled his right arm around him and lifted his upper body, back leaning against Hoseok’s muscular chest, head thrown back on the other man’s shoulder. Fingers curled around his erection as Hoseok used a different angle to slam his hips into him, teeth nibbling on his earlobe, the incredibly low voice echoing in the periphery of his consciousness. Hyungwon’s arms moved up immediately, circling behind Hoseok’s head and grabbing his neck and hair.  
  
“Come for me Won.”

 _Who are you to deny him Hyungwon?_  
  
“Please come for me,” the same voice added barely audible.

_You’re his._

Eyes closed, the tension that had been building up inside of him, fuelled by every movement and sound that Hoseok made, finally bursted, electric shocks moving through his lower body and tingling up to his legs and chest. He could barely catch his breath from the intensity of it all, holding onto Hoseok so harshly he probably broke skin, the other man moving slowly to help him ride out his orgasm.

“I fucking love you,” Hyungwon whispered, eyes still closed and focusing on the warm breath against his neck and the way Hoseok’s scent surrounded him. He couldn’t believe that he felt so intensely about the other man. “If anyone doesn’t like it they’ll meet my fists.”  
  
“You feel like absolute heaven. I can’t believe you trust me that much. I will never hurt you, I promise. Fuck my brain doesn’t work. I- can I come?” Hoseok shot out without a break, still holding Hyungwon’s body in place with an iron grip on his waist.

Hyungwon chuckled, loving Hoseok’s emotional outbursts and inability to control the words leaving his mouth when he was so affected. He stroked over the beautiful man’s hair with his right hand before leaning his weight forward until Hoseok let him move. Then he rested his elbows against the leather again and smoothly moved his hips again, ignoring how sensitive he felt as much as he could.

“Go ahead tiger,” he said with a laugh and glanced at his hands, half moon shaped marks littering his palms.  
  
Hoseok didn’t wait another second, before thrusting into him again, low, loud moans filling the acoustic space. Hyungwon felt hands moving all over his body, touching his back, his thighs, his arms. It didn’t take long and the other man released himself with a loud groan, almost collapsing over Hyungwon’s body, breathing harshly against his neck, skin wet and burning against his. Hyungwon hadn’t expected to feel the other man spilling himself inside of him, forgetting that they were closer than they had ever been before, warmth spreading out in his lower body.

Well that was new.  
  
The lawyer fought with his strength, especially after orgasm, to stay in place until Hoseok recovered and decided to hold his own weight. He owed the other man considering how often Hyungwon just semi-fainted on top of him after coming. After a minute he couldn’t help but comment, despite the invested efforts.

“Alive? You’re kinda heavy. Just saying.” He chuckled and listened to the way Hoseok breathed against his neck.  
  
“I think you just took my soul. I’m not even joking, what is air?” Hoseok breathed in and out hastily, lifting his body up and reaching for the wet tissues. Hyungwon just kneeled in place, knowing from experience that it would reduce the possible mess and Hoseok would take care of everything eventually.

“Thank god I don’t have a carpet in front of my couch,” he mumbled and rested his head on his forearms, still attempting to calm his breath.  
  
“I’m careful, but you’ll have to visit the bathroom eventually.” Hoseok’s voice became so soft all of the sudden, nothing was left from the low, intimidating dominance that was making it so hard to breathe mere minutes ago. “I need a shower, want to join?” He smiled brightly and Hyungwon didn’t even need to see it to know that he did, voice obvious.

_Right._

Hyungwon felt a little awkward, preferring to hide his face in his underarms while considering his options and how to make the whole thing as graceful as possible. Lube had been easier to deal with and he wasn’t sure how just taking a shower was going to solve everything smoothly.

_It’s Hoseok, Hyungwon. What are you even worried about?_

Actually he was being ridiculous. He had never seen Hoseok judge him for anything, not even stupidity when he sure as hell deserved it. He took a deep breath and looked up.

“Yeah, I’d love too,” he answered.  
  
Hoseok’s eyes were so familiar but still so different while they were standing in the shower, water running down their bodies. Something had changed and the beautiful man next to him seemed to see Hyungwon differently. Small gestures and that intense look when he met his gaze or showed subtle signs of affection.  
  
“I love you Hyungwon. I really really love you. I don’t give a shit that I’m famous or that I might ruin your life. I just want you close and I will do everything. Just so you know.” The sudden confession left him speechless.  
  
“You make me happy Won. You just make me so fucking happy. Nothing else can give me that feeling I have when I’m next to you. Thank you,” Hoseok added and placed a soft, warm kiss on his lips, arms curling around his waist and pulling him closer to his chest.

Hyungwon swallowed, overwhelmed by the honesty and intensity with which Hoseok expressed his feelings, not only the words, but the way his eyes focused on his, the other man’s touch.

“Not even music?” the lawyer couldn’t help asking, feeling the same and at the same time scared that he was way more invested than was considered healthy. What was a healthy relationship anyway? Hyungwon wouldn’t know.  
Hoseok smiled brightly moving his head back a little, catching Hyungwon’s gaze.  
  
“Music? Well that moment you stood in the studio singing the lyrics I wrote about you on the beat I made out of your melody. That was pretty close.” The smile on his lips was the most beautiful sight Hyungwon had ever seen. Genuine and free. Not even a second passed before Hyungwon felt himself returning it with a smile of his own, lifting his hand to stroke Hoseok’s cheek, mesmerized by how a person could be so pure.

“I loved that song Hoseok. You’re really talented. I’m not sure if I can share your passion to the full extent, but I’ll do my best. Even if it’s just standing next to you while you produce and dancing to a beat.” Hyungwon laughed shortly and buried his face in Hoseok’s shoulder, kissing it before staring at the other man’s eyes again. “And please continue not giving a shit. I don’t care either because I’m fucking happy as long as you’re around. We’ll solve the whole bullshit with the publicity somehow. I trust you.”

It was really amazing how Hyungwon had been panicking about the continuation of his life and what he would possible do, fear that people would get under his skin eating him up, crippling him in his actions. All of that although he was someone who couldn’t care less about what other people thought, ignorant of their emotions unless they were close to him.

However Hoseok had this ability to just erase every doubt from his brain by smiling brightly and just knowing what to say at the right moments. He couldn’t believe that a few months had brought him to this point, showering with a person he cared about more than anybody he had ever known, wishing to see him happy and willing to give up everything if necessary.

“Hoseok?” Hyungwon asked, the other man’s name already leaving his lips before he even decided what he wanted to ask.  
  
Hoseok brushed back the wet raven black strands of hair, uncovering his forehead, before cupping Hyungwon’s jaw and placing a kiss on his lips softly, humming in agreement.  
  
“Nothing,” Hyungwon murmured. ”I’m just happy.” His face hurt from how brightly he smiled, unable to suppress it and wanting nothing more than to just stay exactly like that, Hoseok’s face in front of him and hand on his face.  
  
Nothing more, nothing less. 

 

**_Epilogue_ **

 

  
Hoseok’s body felt like a stone that somebody threw against a wall. He shouldn’t have worked out like a crazy person before going to sleep. He could barely move, but the alarm clock ripped a hole into his unconscious state, light shining bright against his eyelids, feeling as if they were made of lead. Too lazy to open them, he fumbled around trying to find his phone, until he grabbed something that was obviously too warm to be a phone.  
  
_Oh no._  
  
“Hoseok, it’s seven in the morning. Do you really think I’d be in the mood for this?” the familiar low voice groaned into his ear and he dropped Hyungwon’s erection, waking up in a matter of seconds.  
  
“Fuck, I’m sorry I was searching for my phone. You can sleep for another half an hour. I’ll wake you up,” he breathed out hastily, stood up and went to the drawer, grabbing a pair of black gucci trunks, while looking out of the window and remembering the one time he threw some out, screaming embarrassing bullshit all over the place.  
  
_Can you believe it’s been three and a half months already? Fuck time flows so fast._  
  
_Just like Kihyun’s patience Hoseok, get ready and move your ass to the studio you dumbass._  
  
True, he had a deadline but kind of forgot about it, until Hyungwon wrote him a professional e-mail that consisted of cursing him out in lawyer language, while sitting right next to him at the dinner table.  
  
His boyfriend was no fucking joke.  
  
Picking out what to wear, he decided to go with a white oversized sweater and blue jeans. It got really cold outside and he didn’t want to freeze while walking those ten meters from the car to the well tempered room. He moved over to the fridge, getting out the ingredients for the breakfast Hyungwon usually just stuffed into his mouth because he was too late, choosing sleep over a calm and relaxing routine of eating together.  
  
“I hate everything Hoseok.” A low groan sounded from the bedroom. Hyungwon couldn’t fall asleep anymore and was blaming the air, the confinement of society, timetables and Hoseok.

Of course.

He walked over and sat down right next to the man, who lay curled up in a huge puffy blanket. Hyungwon was awake but his eyes were still closed, long, black eyelashes in beautiful contrast to the pale skin. Dark brown hair fell softly over his forehead, lips in a healthy pink he chewed on the inner side of his cheek, probably trying to deal with the fact that he needed to stand up eventually.  
  
“Who do we have here? You have something at ass o’clock today don’t you? How about standing up and I’ll make you a coffee and a nice breakfast and you don’t choke on salmon like yesterday?”  
  
An eye opened and Hoseok wanted to start laughing because it looked so cute. In the end he was absolutely hooked. Three and a half months passed since they first met and he felt as if Hyungwon was this one part of his life that was missing, the one he was searching for without knowing it and he still couldn’t believe it was there. Lying on his bed and staring up at him with those huge brown eyes.  
  
“I love you, Won,” he whispered while stroking the slightly blushed cheek, affection taking up his lungs and not letting go. “You know,” he started searching for the right words and wondered whether it was a good idea to start talking about major relationship decisions before Hyungwon brushed his teeth and was presentable, but kicked the thought aside and continued. “It’s been almost four weeks. Did you think about it?” he asked carefully.  
  
“Is this how you treat a majesty? You have to make me a coffee and that breakfast you mentioned and after I brushed my teeth you can ask me nicely.” Hyungwon just smiled brightly, lighting up the whole bedroom although it was morning and the sun was already reflecting off the white walls, painting everything in a bright yellow.  
  
Just look at him Hoseok. Fuck you’re so lucky.  
  
“I’ll do it all.” Hoseok smirked back after placing a short kiss on his lips.

Starting the coffee machine he thought about the past four weeks, living and working together. Considering their different personalities, it was a miracle how they managed to fight over the amount of milk in the coffee, car brands or what to wash first, body or hair, but not to argue about worldview and values.

“Do I look like someone who'd strangle people? Because that was kind of the concept for today's meeting. And you, you know Kihyun will strangle you if you're not done by today evening? And I can't help you this time.“ Hyungwon walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, showing off his model like body.

The annoyed and slightly disgusted expression appeared on the beautiful man's face while talking before he caught Hoseok’s gaze and it changed to an incredibly beautiful smile.

He lived for moments like this.

Sure, work was hard, dealing with other people, Hoseok’s popularity challenging their relationship, societal homophobia and other things were straining their resources, but in the end it was worth it.

Hyungwon pushed himself up and curled his arms around his waist.

“Let's move together for good Hoseok.”  
  
His heart stopped for a second, before continuing it’s fast rhythm, turning boring daily routine, negative thoughts, work- related stress and consciousness into something bright and warm that only consisted of euphoria, happiness and Hyungwon’s beautiful eyes.  
  
He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to believe but this is really it. Say You Want Let Go is over now and the two of us have been feeling sad to say goodbye to something that has taken up such a big part of our lives for the past two months. We are immensely grateful for all of the support we have recieved. All of your comments were amazing and thank you to those of you who also conntacted us on Twitter to talk about the story. We met lots of new friends and love all of you greatly.
> 
> We wanted to point out the importance of an open attitude towards sexuality, showing that a lot of the problems that Hyungwon and Hoseok suffered from wouldn't have been there in the first place if society wouldn't suffer from integrated homophobia, thereby making life difficult when it wouldn't have to be. Please support LGBT everyone.
> 
> Lastly, this is not the end for our writing of course. We have begun a new story which will be coming out soon :) Hyungwonho will be coming back in a different constellation and the two of us are writing together again. Check out Twitter for updates and if you want to find out more! (@Hichanchen, @Smut_Hemingway)
> 
> Thank you so much for accompanying us throughout the whole ride and we hope you enjoyed it just as much as we have.
> 
>  **ALSO:** For those of you who have been readers for along time, or maybe those who read one work and would love to have it on their bookshelf:  
>  As there have been a lot of requests we have finally created **hard-cover versions** of our books that we ship **worldwide.**  
>  For those of you who are interested, you can find all the information and the ordering form [HERE.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScsezURxqsNaBokxU_nXoiN7sWPeBWVpRZHSgdUSyU7AwIjpA/viewform?c=0&w=1)  
> 
> 
> And again the edit as an emotional finish:[HYUNGWONHO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USfvMvXLIYU)  
> 


	30. BONUS CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Everything started with Bunny’s inability to control his inhibitions,”  
> “And Won’s sassy mouth, unable to communicate like a decent person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentines Day ladies and gentleman which is why Hichanchen and me decided to bless you all with the 30th Chapter of Say You Won't Let Go!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading all of it and thank you all for supporting our work!!!!
> 
> We love you!
> 
> Also an amazing birthday to our cute little bean Lena!!! You're the best!!

Long fingers slid along the edge of the bow tie they were trying to adjust, constantly slipping and missing the right spot to pull the edge through because of how much they shivered. It was basically impossible to create the perfect bow tie, ribbon either crooked or ends not moving through the fucking loop as they were supposed to. Hyungwon was pretty close to losing his temper and strangling everybody in his close proximity and the day hadn’t even really started yet. He was just standing there, staring at his reflection in the mirror, body clad in a tight black suit, tailored to his needs and hair styled up. He looked amazing. His concept was ‘can I skip the whole procedure and just carry you to bed my majesty’ and whether it worked would be decided by Hoseok.

Now if there wouldn’t be that bow tie.

_You’ll never forgive yourself if there will be pictures of you with an ugly bow tie Hyungwon, get your shit together._

A light chuckle sounded next to him, and small (rather feminine) hands slapped his own away, replacing them in the arrangement of the bow tie.

“You are fucking hopeless Hyungwon. I still can’t believe you are not only grabbing a hottie before me but you are also marrying the man of your dreams before I got to kiss mine. What the actual fuck? I didn’t even think you would be marrying a man in the first place,” Minhyuk complained, throwing information at him as he fixed the bow tie into what looked like the prettiest ribbon Hyungwon had ever seen. Damn, life was unfair.

“Neither did I Minhyuk and that doesn’t solve my problem of feeling like my legs are going to give out and I haven’t even moved yet.” Hyungwon didn’t only look nervous because of the way his hands shivered, he was apparently also feeling nervous with the way his heart leapt out of his chest and he feared public embarrassment. Fuck, fainting because of nerves wasn’t a thing was it? He would have to kill everybody who witnessed it.

“I’m crying in the club Hyungwon. You guys are so sweet.”

“What club? You aren’t located at a club currently but in a wedding preparation side room and I’ll have to meet Hoseok outside of that room in a bit and I feel like I am going to hyperventilate,” Hyungwon replied and tried to calm his breathing. Minhyuk just rolled his eyes dramatically and pretended to faint while being caught by an impossibly strong person which he demonstrated by switching roles every few seconds and lifting his arms as if they were muscular. The longer Hyungwon gave him a judgemental stare the less he seemed inclined to keep up the drama.

“A wedding is also a party so whether I cry at the club or at the wedding doesn’t matter. You should have both dressed like Hoseok’s instagram selfie from two weeks ago, sorry not sorry.”

That got Hyungwon’s attention faster than Minhyuk screaming around in public places, which he did a lot for no apparent reason.

“What selfie?”

Minhyuk grinned shamelessly and undid the first few buttons of his shirt before wiggling his eyebrow. It was a little idiotic because he would have to close them anyway before they left the room.

“It was Hoseok in a suit jacket and a tie.” Again Minhyuk wiggled his eyebrows but Hyungwon didn’t see the point of that.

“So? What’s so special about a suit and a tie? That’s almost what we’ll be wearing now,” he replied and rolled his eyes again, going through his hair and making sure for the fifth time that day that no strands were poking out of the glory that was his current forehead revelation. Hoseok loved it when he showed his forehead so that’s exactly what he was going for. Minhyuk interrupted his efforts with some more wiggling.

“That’s the point. It was a suit jacket and tie. _Only_.”

Hyungwon wanted to choke Hoseok with his bare hands for posting shit like that and never showing him. Did Hyungwon really have to do every fucking thing? Stalk him on instagram himself, make sure he finished his tracks on time himself, and walking down the aisle while being fucking afraid that he didn’t look good enough because Hoseok was so fucking perfect himself. Shit, he was so fucking in love it was probably already bordering on unhealthy. The type where you made horrendous decisions on a daily basis.

“Don’t worry Hyungwon, he was wearing pants. Either way when I’m marrying I’ll dress like him with some nipple clamps of course.” Hyungwon almost suffocated on his own saliva trying not to imagine what that would possibly look like.

“And that’s exactly why I am marrying and you are not. Let’s get going.” He was fucking scared but he also hated to be late. It had to be right on time, no more no less.

“Wait! I got a present for you that I hoped you would surprise Hoseok with. I swear he’ll love you,” Minhyuk exclaimed and the excitement on his face was already telling a story of suffering and embarrassment.

_He’ll love you either way, Hyungwon._

If Hyungwon knew one thing then it was not to trust Lee Minhyuk with his sex life. The amount of toys and other weird shit he constantly had to hide somewhere was becoming a real problem. Still he nodded and grabbed the pink box from the other man’s hands, already disgusted by the color and hoping the inside wasn’t even more revolting.

Removing the last bit he glanced inside and saw something that resembled a stopper.

“Why the fuck are you giving me this? Want me to plug my mouth? I never really talk during sex anyway,” he remarked and hoped that the silver-haired man would finally leave him alone with this.

Apparently it was the wrong reaction because Minhyuk just threw himself to the ground laughing like a maniac and pointing at Hyungwon for what felt like several minutes and his patience was really running out. When he was just about to leave without him Minhyuk placed the object under Hyungwon’s personal items, such as his coat, and circled an arm around his shoulders.

“It’s for your ass you cute and innocent little shit,” he whispered as he pulled Hyungwon out into the hallway, on his direct way for the last few preparations. The last bit before he would return to the room, go mad and then finally leave to be married to the only man he really cared about and loved so much that he had spent a whole hour telling his mom about it when he had invited her to the wedding.

_Oh god._

_  


It felt a little bit like a dream. When your body was running so high on adrenaline and endorphins that it was unable to filter information properly and you just felt everything so much more intensively, every little detail and every face catching your attention and remaining there for a few seconds. Hyungwon had thought that he felt the height of excitement when he had called his parents to tell them, that he had felt almost ready to faint when he had met Hoseok’s parents, but the way his senses were on overdrive, fingertips tingling and eyes unable to look away from the beautiful man standing at the side to walk to the front of the aisle with him wasn’t comparable to any of those feelings.

_You’re going to marry him Hyungwon. You’re really going to be his this time._

The realization was the best one yet, euphoria impossible to contain and spreading out onto his facial features, smile impossibly wide and eyes turning into crescents, unable to remain calm and almost speed walking the last few steps towards the ethereal human being in front of him.

Hoseok was mesmerizing. No word in Hyungwon’s sophisticated vocabulary was good enough to describe the way the other looked. His beautifully sculpted body was dressed in a white tailored suit, not surprising considering the fact that it was Hoseok’s favourite color, similar to black being his. Blonde bangs were styled around his beautiful forehead and he looked like an angel. A muscular, beautiful angel with delicious thighs. The other man smiled and every thought went missing all of the sudden, difficulty to breath and realization of his own happiness the only two things remaining.  
  
“How are you even able to make me choke on my own spit after all this time just by looking like that? This is not fair.”

Hyungwon swallowed and slid his hand into the other man’s, trying to get his facial expressions back under control but it probably resembled a grimace instead of a calm human being.

“I can’t think about anything else but the fact that you are so amazing and I will have a written semi-binding confirmation that you belong to me,” he whispered back and thought that he should probably look around but Hoseok was an addicting sun. He didn’t want to look anywhere else. He didn’t even care if other people were there. Marrying Hoseok as the two of them would have been just as amazing if not even better because he could have just jumped into his arms and kissed the living daylights out of him.  
  
“Still doubting that? I want to belong to you in every possible way, shit, let me tattoo your face on my left eye.” Hoseok laughed with his mouth open. He looked so incredibly happy while squishing Hyungwon’s thin hand in his to emphasize the words. “Let’s go, the others are already waiting.”

Hyungwon nodded, already beyond his ability to say anything comprehensible except that Hoseok was the most beautiful and wonderful human being and that Hyungwon already loved his butt tattoo and that was enough and all of those stupid thoughts that were horribly embarrassing and that some person with no life whatsoever would manage to record and torture him with for the next 20 years.

_Oh god, just imagine spending the next 20 years with him Hyungwon._

Brushing imaginary dirt off his shoulders and thighs and pulling at his bow tie again he closed his eyes for a few seconds and let Hoseok lead him the rest of the way. Whatever was going to happen, he felt like he was going to be out of it either way. Murmuring ‘yes’ repeatedly until they finally got it and let him kiss that beautiful smile off Hoseok’s lips.  
  
The Marriage Officiant from the Clerk's Office already talked for about ten minutes and Hyungwon didn’t get half of it, just staring at Hoseok’s face. The blonde man was staring back at him, eyes formed to crescent moons, a gorgeous smile on his face, as if not believing that all of it was real.

It was time for the vows.

“You first...or me?” Hyungwon asked, feeling unsure about what he wanted to say because everything just sounded so bland compared to what he felt. “I feel like whatever I say won’t do this justice. Thank you for opening my eyes to so many things I wasn’t aware of like what really matters and staying with me despite my rather common assholish and selfish behavior. Thank you for being with me and loving me the way I am and wanting to spend the rest of your life with me. I love you Hoseok, I really do.”

Although he hadn’t felt ready the words just spilled out, eyes burning and Hyungwon had talked to himself in the mirror at least five times telling his face that it was not supposed to cry no matter what the fuck happened. Damn, he had never been good at resolutions when it came to Hoseok. Be it staying away from him, not crying in his presence or letting him cuddle Hyungwon although he had to go to work. Shit, Hyungwon wanted his whole life to consist of moments like that. He swallowed, waiting for Hoseok’s answer and keeping himself from playing with his suit, his hands or anything else remotely touchable. His cheeks hurt from the way he grinned.  
  
The man with the beautiful smile reached for his hands, taking both of them at once and pulling them against his lips, placing small kisses on them, not giving a single fuck about the whole ceremony, other people, the Officiant or anybody else. It was amazing how the gaze was able to create a bubble, a space with only the two of them, sheltering Hyungwon from any other sensory input. The smile got wider before Hoseok’s eyes caught his gaze and the low voice started speaking.  
  
“Throughout my whole life there are quite some things I am proud of and things that had an enormous influence on the way I am and the way I think, the way I developed as a person and a musician. Those important things, I have the feeling that they all were just a preparation for the moment that I’ve met you. You appeared in my life and collected all those pieces of a puzzle, putting it together, creating a picture that made sense. You also made me a better person in the process. I love myself most when I’m with you and I am so incredibly thankful for everything you give me. I just want you to remember that, even if it gets hard, I always want to hold you in my arms. I want to stand up every day, just like now, wishing to know everything about you from zero. I love you.” Hyungwon gave up. He just stood in front of the other man with tears running down his cheeks but a bright smile on his lips. Hoseok was always so genuine and emotional, so different from his analytical self.

“I knew I could trust you with expressing everything that needed to be said. Shit, I love you so much and you made me cry at my wedding although I promised myself not to. But I can’t even give a shit because you are so beautiful and I just want to kiss you and not care about anyone else.”  
  
Hoseok leaned down, his hot breath tickled Hyungwon’s ear for a second, before he breathed a short ‘thank you for existing.’ into his ear before turning to the Officiant and nodding shortly.  
  
The man nodded back and started with the important question. Hoseok was first to be asked, his face was basically shining, edges of his lips curled up beautifully before he cleared his throat and a loud 'yes' echoed through the wedding hall. His eyes were teary too, but he was smiling nonstop. It was Hyungwon’s turn. The Officiant called his name and asked whether he wanted Hoseok to be his by law. The question seemed too clear to him, lips already mouthing the words before it was even his turn.

“Yes,” he replied, eyes closing for a short moment to focus on how it felt, making a decision with a mere word. It didn’t fit the impact, word so simple but emotions so complex. He opened his eyes again, chest hammering and wish to just melt in Hoseok’s arms almost numbing everything else, blackening out the people around him. Hyungwon didn’t know what the Officiant was saying but he trusted Hoseok to lead him through it, looking at him and waiting for a sign that he was finally free to do as he wished.  
  
Changkyun and Minhyuk came to the front giving them the rings. Hoseok took his hand, stroking it with his, so soft and tender, as if it was something incredibly precious, sliding the ring over the long finger until it fit perfectly. The blonde couldn’t resist kissing the finger with the ring before letting it down slowly.

Hyungwon smiled brightly when it was his turn. He took Hoseok’s ring and kissed it instead of the finger, as Hoseok had done, before sliding it over the beautiful man’s ring finger.

“For luck,” he whispered as he did so.  
  
People started clapping, Minhyuk jumped up and down like a maniac screaming 'get it on' and Changkyun’s beautiful authentic smile appeared somewhere in his sight before he felt a warm hand on his neck, moving up his face, another curling around his waist and pulling him further into Hoseok’s embrace.

_This is really happening Hyungwon._

“Oh my god,” Hyungwon just mouthed as he stared at Hoseok, face impossibly close and looking euphoric, eyes so much brighter than usual and blonde hair framing the porcelain-like face. He couldn’t help lifting his own hand and brushing over the other man’s cheek, thumb stopping at the lips. “Kiss me, Hoseok.”  
  
Soft lips clashed against his, tension spreading all over his body, moving against his mouth and taking his breath away, accompanied by loud claps and screams from the audience. He lost the contact and opened his eyes, Hoseok looking at him with that incredibly soft expression on the beautiful face.  
  
“You are everything I’ve ever wanted,” the blonde whispered and placed another soft kiss on his lips. Hyungwon tried to keep the contact but still their lips parted.

“Can’t we just disappear into another dimension and wail in the sole attention of the other or something,” he complained, trying to pull Hoseok closer again and ignoring the annoying whistles from their friends. The other laughed and kissed him again. Hoseok was really doing everything Hyungwon wanted.  
  
“Later, I will give you everything you want from me. Let’s get this signing and talking over with and disappear.” He grinned, something playful seeping through the soft smile.

“Deal,” Hyungwon answered quickly and looked around, seeing his mom hugging Hoseok’s mother who was rubbing tears off her face with a tissue. “You could go and give your mom a hug, she might need it more than me now.”

_Well, the emotional character had to come from somewhere._

“Damn, I hope you will stop annoying the shit out of me now,” Changkyun’s voice echoed next to his ear, the words so unfitting to the contagiously happy face. “Did you think you’d marry the man whose dick pic blackmail case I begged you to take care off?” The short man started laughing.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes, turning around to give his best friend a proper hug although it wasn’t quite in his nature. Changkyun didn’t look as surprised as he would have been in any other situation.

“Sure, it was right next to ‘obtaining a sex toy collection against my will’ on my list. Maybe close to setting up Minhyuk so he would finally develop a healthy relationship to social media.”

_Hyungwon, has Minhyuk mixed something into your drink? Why are you talking about your private life in such detail? Kiss Hoseok so your mouth stays closed._

He did. He turned around and placed a kiss on Hoseok’s mouth, burying his head in the blonde’s shoulder afterwards, avoiding the outside world for a few seconds.

“My brain is turning off Hoseok and I’m saying horrendously irrelevant things. It’s against my perfectly educated and controlled nature.”  
  
The low voice breathed out into his ear, hand gently raking through his hair.  
  
“I love everything about you and I’m so hooked it is really not funny anymore.” Hyungwon sighed.

“Hoseok, in how far does that solve my problem?” Maybe Hoseok was way further gone than he was, losing himself in his emotional outbursts and love confessions in the presence of everyone and their dog.  
  
The blonde leaned back, letting him hang in the air and walked over to Changkyun, whispering something in the other man’s ear.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me? Hoseok what the fuck? No!” Changkyun tried to get him back gesturing and half whispering curses. Hyungwon was about to ask what was going on, but had no time to do so as the beautiful figure in white walked over to him, lifting him up bridal style and walking back to the dressing room, to screams and Changkyun’s desperate begging to come back.

“Hoseok, what irresponsible and fucked up thing are you doing if I may ask?” Hyungwon muttered, holding on to Hoseok’s suit tightly, hands grasping his shoulders and dying from embarrassment. The blonde had just fucking carried him bridal style in front of their family, friends and random people Hyungwon probably didn’t even know. His face was burning and he wanted to choke the other man a little.  
  
“You want us to disappear, we will disappear. It’s simple really.” Hoseok kicked a door open and walked into a bridal prep room with a huge mirror and a baroque style couch, turning around and turning the key.

“W-what the actual fuck Hoseok?” Hyungwon exclaimed, slowly getting the point and losing his composure. “There are a lot of people that came to ogle our euphoric expressions and we haven’t even danced yet and I wanted to rile you up first and now-”

_Shut the fuck up. Imagine you'd have to stay in your current state even longer. Just go with it._

“I haven’t even mentally prepared for the thing Minhyuk made me do,” he whispered eventually and buried his face in Hoseok’s shoulder. Maybe it would help to get rid of the blush. He really hated blushing, back then and now and Hoseok constantly forced it upon him.  
  
And there it was. The gaze, it was the way Hoseok’s eyes narrowed, making him look like a tiger hunting for prey, so different from the soft expression he had worn before.  
  
“What did Minhyuk make you do?” Even his voice got deeper, it was like a fucking transformation. 

No way in hell was Hyungwon going to say that out loud. Ever.

“Things.”  
  
Hoseok went over to the couch, dropping him on it and propping himself up on both arms so that the blonde ended up hovering over him. It was impossible to suppress the gasp when his ass hit the couch, closing his eyes for a few seconds before he stared at the man above him.  
  
“What was that? Want me to undress you and ask again?” the blonde growled.

_Shit, shit shit. What’s worse Hyungwon? Saying it or him seeing it like that?_

He couldn’t say it. No fucking way.

_Just rile him up while you can still semi-talk. Don’t let him win without a fight all the time._

“You could just...go ahead and find out,” he whispered and licked over his lower lip, head already going places. Hoseok always had an immense effect on him when he lowered the timbre of his voice, vibrations going right to his groin.  
  
“Mhm.” One strong hand went to his suit jacket, opening one button after the other. “So you want to play with me.” Hoseok sat up, opening the button of his suit pants and getting rid of his jacket and button up, tie flying somewhere far away after he just pulled at it. The milky skin tone of the muscular body over him reflected the spare lighting of the room, none of them cared about turning the lights on.

“Minhyuk told me about an instagram post of yours where you looked almost like that just with a little more clothing and for some reason you haven’t considered that relevant enough to show me. I feel jealous.”  
  
“But why would you be jealous babe? You can have all of it, just like this.” Hoseok smirked and leaned down, opening Hyungwon’s shirt, button after button. The blonde moved like a hungry animal, licking over the collarbones, down to his nipples, sucking on them and going further down, drawing circles around his navel with the warm wet tongue. Hyungwon moaned immediately, throwing his head back and biting down on his lower lip to keep quiet. No matter how little shits Hoseok gave, he still needed to maintain at least a minimal amount of face.

“I-” Hyungwon paused to stabilize his voice to not sound so wrecked although Hoseok only kissed and licked over his skin. “I want everyone to ask me for a w-written permission before they are allowed to see any of your naked skin, especially now that you are mine by law.”  
  
“You'll get everything for being such a good boy for me.” Hoseok seemed to not listen to him, tongue continuing it’s path down his lower stomach, before the other man opened and unzipped the black suit pants, pulling them down Hyungwon’s long legs. Knowing what Hoseok was into and how to rile him up the lawyer tightened his legs around the blonde’s body, loving the contact and bit his lower lip while staring at him.

“I can’t wait to feel you Hoseok.” That was still light but Hyungwon was way too conscious of his actions to just go all out. He just got married for fuck’s sake and barely kept his wits. Hoseok was strangely in control for being usually strongly affected by emotional situations.  
  
“You can have everything you want from me today,” he whispered. “I still can’t believe you somehow ended up thinking I’m worth it.” Hyungwon smiled, stroking over Hoseok’s face and loving the mixture of dominance and affection that the other man kept switching between.

“I was just about to tell you the same. It’s not my birthday after all but a mutual ‘let us be euphoric’ day. Do you really want to know what I want you to do?” It didn’t matter how long Hyungwon had been with Hoseok and how used he should be to talking about sex and preferences and what he liked the other man to do. He simply wasn’t very vocal with the things he liked and needed to warm up first to say them. Or be delirious with the way Hoseok drove him mad. But today was special. He would have to step over his own shadow.

 _You listened to Minhyuk, of course you are stepping over your own shadow._  
  
“Yes. I really, really want to know what you want me to do Won.” Hoseok propped himself up, hovering over him again. A soft smile hushed over his face. Hyungwon smiled back and collected the few functioning brain cells that were available for admitting to sexual practises one preferred and took a deep breath.

“Be a dominant shit without worrying about hurting me or scaring me.” He released the breath.

 _That wasn’t that hard was it?_  
  
Hoseok hissed out a breath and bit down on his lower lip, sucking on it slowly before releasing it again and sliding his pink tongue over it, gaze intensifying with every passing second. Hyungwon’s eyes widened almost immediately and he slid a little further into the couch, adrenaline spiking because of everything but embarrassment this time. He spread his legs and nibbled on his lower lip, watching Hoseok’s face intently.

“Minhyuk advised me to be...ready and that you might like it,” he whispered, unsure whether it was time to talk or whether he was going to sink back into his almost automatic submissive response as soon as Hoseok gave him that controlling gaze of his.

 _Hoseok probably still has no idea what you are talking about Hyungwon._  
  
The blonde tilted his head to the left, smirk in place, eyes narrowed and moved back. As soon as he stood on the red carpet strong hands got rid of the rest of his clothes, which joined the party on the floor. Hoseok just stood in front of him. Absolutely naked. The confidence was admirable.

“You look amazing,” Hyungwon mumbled and sat up on the couch, legs still spread and feeling shy again although he was trying not to be.  
  
“Now you.” Hoseok’s eyes pierced through him, like some kind of laser, pink tongue licking over the thick lips repeatedly while he watched Hyungwon’s movements intently.

_He wants you to undress for him Hyungwon. You know he loves it._

Hyungwon let the shirt that Hoseok had already unbuttoned fall from his shoulders and let it join the previous pile on the floor, biting his lip and letting his thumbs slide under the waistband of his underwear. The way he pulled the fabric over his hips was agonizingly slow, careful to see every change in Hoseok’s expression but also giving him time to deal with the exposure. It was somehow different when it wasn’t their bedroom and Hoseok was standing in front of him, looking as sculptured as ever. When he reached his knees he quickly removed the cloth and threw it to the pile. That’s when he decided to jump over his shadow.

Biting his lip he leaned back on the couch as he grabbed behind his own knees and lifted them up, spreading his legs at the same time and showing Hoseok what Minhyuk had made him do. It was impossible to fight the heat in his face at the daring position. His blood was loud in his ears, almost deafening with the thundering of his heart beat.  
  
“And just when I thought the time of being surprised at you was over, you just spread your legs and fuck, my blood left my head,” Hoseok groaned. The built figure approached with slow steps, grin and predatory gaze in place.

“Let’s play then.”

  


***

 

  
  
It was like a very long and very beautiful hallucination. Hoseok didn’t want to wake up, the black-haired man whispering 'yes' repeatedly in his face, as if he didn’t need anyone else to hear that he wanted to be Hoseok’s. The big brown eyes, pupils blown and golden skin framing the beautiful red lips, so soft and plump against his kiss.  
  
_This is him giving you the absolute trust. It’s the most precious thing you possess._  
  
His whole body tingled from the adrenaline spiking at the realization. Hoseok wanted to be alone with him so badly, embrace him, just him and Hyungwon, next to each other, melting into each others skin. After Hyungwon verbalized the same thought there was basically nothing that could’ve stopped him, walking over to Changkyun and whispering into his ear to take over for 30-40 minutes while the newlyweds had some business to take care of. Sure, the other hated him and told him to stop thinking with his dick and that it was his fucking wedding and to please have mercy, but Hyungwon stood next to him, so beautiful, so he did what he could do best. After lifting the almost weightless body bridal style, he walked towards the preparation room he was in before, turning the key and getting immediately riled up by the brown-haired man.  
  
Whatever Hoseok had thought about seeing after they left the wedding ceremony, it surely didn’t involve the ethereally beautiful man lying in front of him, spread legged with a buttplug inside him.  
  
_He told you his vows and said yes to marrying you while wearing a fucking buttplug to surprise you. Hoseok that’s real love._  
  
Tender feelings overcame him for a second before he managed to control his facial expressions again, remembering what Hyungwon had told him to do.  
  
“Let’s play then.”  
  
_He wants you to be really dominant to him. He loves it Hoseok, give it to him just like he gives you everything you ever wanted._  
  
They couldn’t be gone for too long with all those people waiting so his eyes scanned the room thoroughly, finding the object of desire and walking over there slowly. He picked it up and untied it on the way, slow steps towards the couch Hyungwon lay on, smirk in place, eyes sliding hungrily over the beautiful man’s figure.  
  
“Give me your hands,” his low voice ordered after climbing on top of the other man. Hyungwon just stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted before he nodded agonizingly slowly and stretched out his wrists towards Hoseok. The other had apparently already giving up on verbal expression.

  
Fair enough. Hoseok didn’t need him to talk, Hyungwon would be moaning in that beautiful low voice of his in a couple of minutes either way. Best music in the world.  
  
The white tie looked so amazing around the thin wrists, tying them together with a knot in the back, dark skin in a major contrast to the silk fabric. Hyungwon was aesthetics.  
  
“Place them above your head and leave them there.” His eyes narrowed and he pointed at a spot a little over the pillow the brown-haired rested his head on. Hyungwon bit his lip and Hoseok didn't need to be attentive to tell that he was affected by his tone, thighs rubbing together subconsciously and hands lifting to remain in the place Hoseok pointed out.

“Holy fuck,” the lawyer whispered as he sucked in a breath and chewed on his plump lower lip. Hoseok could’ve sworn he was as affected by the sight in front of him, Hyungwon’s hands tied by the white silk, golden skin shining in the dim light, so naked and beautiful. He would’ve stayed in place and enjoyed it a little longer but the voices from the outside didn’t let him. It was time to hear some beautiful low moans instead.  
  
He sank down on his knees on the red carpet in front of the couch, positioning himself between the beautiful long legs. His palms went up and down the lean thighs slowly, before he licked his lips and leaned down drawing a stripe up the inner thigh with his tongue, biting into the soft skin shortly afterwards. Hoseok’s fingers tingled to feel more of Hyungwon, to perceive everything, to melt into him, but it was too early, first he needed all those desperate moans to caress his ears.

Hyungwon hissed, watching Hoseok intently but the quick glances to the door were indicative of his attempts to remain quiet. His legs quivered from the attention and his tied hands almost left their designated position, quickly hitting the wall as soon as he realized.

“What if someone hears Hoseok?” he whispered, especially quiet and watching the path of Hoseok’s tongue intently.  
  
“They’ll be lucky.” His tongue went up the thigh, over the shaft up to the tip. “And you better leave those hands where I told you to.” Hyungwon nodded furiously and gasped at the sensation, head turning to the side instead of focusing on the tongue driving him crazy. Long fingers spread and touched the wall, holding onto it in addition to simply keeping his wrists in place.  
“Damn I love it when you’re such a good boy for me,” Hoseok hissed and took him in his mouth, tongue twirling around the tip and left hand massaging his balls in the process. 

Brown orbs found his before the plump lips parted in an instant moan and Hyungwon cursed, hands scratching over the wall in a desperate attempt to remain in the vulnerable position Hoseok wanted him in.

“You know that I'm only good when it's for you,” the lean man whispered as his gorgeous thighs tightened around Hoseok’s head. “I feel kinda weird and can't really thi-” He wasn't able to finish as he bit his lip and his head hit the wall behind him.

Hoseok let the erection slip out of his mouth before looking up with a smirk. 

“I should totally reward you for being so good to me today.” He buried his nails in Hyungwon’s lean thighs and deep throated him all the way while humming and letting him go before repeating the whole thing and removing the plug with one move.

“Don't you think my dick is a better choice here?” He smirked and licked his lips tentatively. Hyungwon just groaned without replying, thighs shaking and looked a little delirious, just the way Hoseok liked it. A long leg curled around his back and tried to pull him closer, lower lip still suffering abuse as Hyungwon murmured his name repeatedly.

“Take me Hoseok. I'm yours,” he gasped finally, leg pulling him even closer and brown eyes completely focusing on him, pupils blown. 

Hoseok wanted him so much that he felt tension occupying every cell of his body, tension he knew he could only release by burying himself inside Hyungwon, hear the other man beg accompanied by low moans and pulling his hair, losing his ability to think.

He stood up from his knees and sat down next to the beautiful man, who looked so  fucked out that he had trouble keeping himself together and not jump him like a hungry animal.

“You were such a good boy for me that I'm going to untie you. Give me your wrists.” Hoseok stretched out his hands. Hyungwon exhaled with relief letting his hands fall into Hoseok’s as if he had been using his last bit of strength to keep them in place. Removing the white silk from the golden skin Hoseok felt as if it all was a huge dream, a dream where he was lucky enough not only to be together with the love of his life but also call him his. His husband.

“I really want to be close to you, so close that I have the feeling I'm melting into your skin. Would you sit on my lap Won?” He was being really sincere, the feelings overcame him mixed with unclenching thirst for the other man's body and he couldn't do anything about it, hoping the mesmerizing figure would comply.

Hyungwon’s parted lips spread in an impossibly bright smile, lighting up the otherwise dark room. His fingers reached for Hoseok’s chest, stroking over his pecs with the fingertips until he grasped the shoulders tightly and heaved his right leg over his hips, finally sitting down on his lap. The smile remained and the plump lips touched his before the soft face disappeared in the crook of his neck, arms tightening around him.

“You know that I feel really safe like this? As if nothing could happen to me no matter what.” Hoseok placed kisses against the soft skin of his neck, chest pressing closer, embracing the warmth of the familiar body.

“Nothing will happen to you. I love you and I'll always be there, right next to you. Can I-” Hoseok paused not sure whether it was ok to say it in an intimate moment like this. “Can I feel you? I want to feel every cell of your body Won. I want you to feel me too,” he whispered half into Hyungwon’s shoulder, arms curling around the thin waist and pressing him closer. Hyungwon nodded softly against his skin as he lifted his hips, warm breath hitting Hoseok’s neck. The lawyer lifted his own right hand and spit into his palm before long fingers curled around the base of Hoseok’s erection to keep it steady, stroking it once to ease the slide.

“Always,” Hyungwon whispered, head lifting to look at him as he slowly sank down on him, lips parted and a soft moan caressing Hoseok’s face.

It was simply overwhelming. It really was, the beautiful lean body on his lap, red lips, slightly parted, breath hitting his cheek. Hoseok felt high, the aesthetics combined with the intense feeling sent spikes through his body, muscles flexing and waiting for the command to move.

“It feels like heaven. You're heaven, fuck.” Hoseok exhaled, hands gripping Hyungwon’s hips. He didn't have to wait for the command as Hyungwon lifted his body himself and slowly slid back down again, attempting to adjust the angle and panting loudly.

“You like it when I do that, right?” the lawyer asked, strain in his voice obvious as he held onto Hoseok’s shoulders and used them for leverage, keeping up a smooth rhythm on his own.  
  
“Fuck, I love every fucking thing you do. You know exactly how much every flick of your finger drives me wild.” Hoseok licked over the warm neck, up to the beautiful man’s jaw, nibbling on it and catching the plump bottom lip with his teeth. “But you’re mine, you’re mine and I love it more than you could ever imagine.” He thrusted up intuitively, meeting the hips sinking down on him. Hyungwon moaned loudly and tightened the hold on his shoulders.

“I'll never get used to this,” the beautiful man on his lap murmured as he closed the distance between their lips, reducing the volume of their moans and gasping against Hoseok’s lips instead. His hips continued moving, increasing the speed, most likely for himself instead of Hoseok. When the body on top of him quivered he could feel Hyungwon slow down. “Can we switch? My thighs will burn soon and I want to feel more of you.”

Hoseok caught a quick kiss and lifted the lean body from his lap.

“Lie down on your back. I want to see that mesmerizing face of yours.” His low voice echoed through the room, before he looked up, wonder probably written all over his face. “How can somebody be this beautiful? I don't understand.”

Hyungwon grinned.

“Lots of work and perfectly tailored suits. How can someone be this muscular even if he forgets to eat because of music? You'd probably starve if I wouldn't bring you lunch every day,” he replied as he lay down on the couch, placing his right leg on the backrest and pulling the left one towards his chest. His smile turned a little apologetic, hands trying to cover himself a little. “Sorry to break the atmosphere but you know I'm allergic to sapiness. I already cried at my wedding.”  
  
There it was again, that sassy mouth functioning surprisingly well in a situation one would’ve never thought was possible, but that was okay, Hoseok was not done yet.  
  
“Let’s see how sassy you’ll be as soon as I’m inside you.” He smirked, lining up and pushing himself in. Hyungwon was about to open his mouth but bit down on his lower lip instead, curling his arms around Hoseok’s neck as he spread his legs wider. His gaze was defiant but he wasn't able to say anything, pulling Hoseok’s hair instead.  
  
“Sure, pull it, pull it as much as you want.” Hoseok groaned and thrusted up with force, lifting Hyungwon’s hips a little in the process. The subsequent moans were like music to his ears, filling out the preparation room and numbing his senses as much as the tender blush on the other man’s cheeks. Hyungwon's gaze lost some of the challenge but his hand remained in Hoseok’s hair, pulling him even closer.  
  
“I’ll go all out and you pinch me if something is up ok?” He smiled at the beautiful gaze resting on his face before propping himself up on both arms and picking up speed, dipping his tongue into Hyungwon’s mouth, exploring it as if it was the first time, feeling every single shiver of the beautiful body under him.

The other man finally let go, body losing some of its tension and eyes gaining their delirious touch, curses and variations of his name and sweet names leaving the plump lips. A slight pain reached his consciousness, probably from Hyungwon's hand on his back, trying to pull him flush against his chest.

“You drive me mad Hoseok. You always do even if I resist,” the beautiful man murmured, interrupted by melodious groans and gasps. “I won't break in your arms Hoseok. Not in yours.”  
  
He really wanted to melt into him. Deep emotional waves crushed over him as much as the tension in his groin kept building up. His hand left the couch and curled around Hyungwon’s erection, stroking it and applying pressure at the tip while he tried to coordinate his thrusts with the strokes. Hyungwon deserved every-fucking-thing Hoseok was able to give him. The other man must have been seeing stars as he screamed, scratching Hoseok’s back and tightening his legs around him, barely holding on.

“I’m close,” he gasped but his eyes were closed, only lips parted to let in the much needed oxygen.  
  
“Then come for me babe,” Hoseok managed to whisper, strain already eating up his ressources. A few thrusts combined with tight strokes were sufficient to feel how Hyungwon bit into his muscular arm to muffle his moans and came between them, body immediately turning limp as it usually did, muscles giving out.

“Fuck my life,” Hyungwon muttered as he placed a kiss against Hoseok’s cheek and licked over his lips. “I always lose our dominance battles even without you trying.”  
  
“Oh I do try. You make it really hard on me, the way you look at me and how your body shimmers in the light while you tentatively slide down your shirt. Shit, if you knew.” He pulled out slowly. They were in the middle of a wedding and he didn’t want to make Hyungwon more uncomfortable than he already did with the kidnapping bridal style. “Please touch me,” he whispered against the red lips.

“Ehm, thank you,” Hyungwon whispered as he curled his hand around Hoseok’s erection carefully. “I was already thinking about how to go to the bathroom without having to put on clothes or have...stuff running down my thighs.” Watching Hoseok’s expression he apparently realized that now was not the time to contemplate the aftermath as he kissed him harshly and pushed him backwards.

“My mouth might be a better idea since it will not dishonor the prep room,” he whispered as he crawled over Hoseok and placed a few kisses on his abs and inner thighs. Frowning a little he looked to the side towards their mountain of clothes and walked over to it, a little unstable on the legs and looking sweet. Fumbling for his suit the lawyer took a silk handkerchief that was placed inside his suit pocket and stalked back towards Hoseok.

“Won’t need it anyway,” Hyungwon muttered and went over Hoseok’s erection, his stomach and himself thoroughly before throwing the handkerchief to the side and kissing the tip. “Ready?”  
  
“I love you Hyungwon. I really do. I’m always ready.” Hoseok spread his legs and looked down, breath stuck in his lungs from the mesmerizing sight. Smirking Hyungwon didn’t hesitate much and immediately took him deep inside his mouth, humming a little and using his right hand for what he couldn’t reach. The cold metal of his ring finger felt a little unusual against the hot skin, but was welcome nevertheless. Hyungwon was definitely determined to reduce Hoseok’s endurance as he kept going without a break, massaging Hoseok’s inner thigh with his free hand and sucking on the tip and licking over the slit before sliding back down.  
  
Hoseok was a moaning mess, hand raking through the brown hair and coming into the other man’s mouth groaning a curse mixed with the familiar name. The most beautiful name in the world. His husband’s name.    
  
Arms curled around the thin shoulders and he pulled him up, not willing to let go, smelling his hair and kissing the soft lips, so familiar but also new, a mixture of thoughts and sensations cursing through his body and mind, Hyungwon’s beautiful smile the only thing that kept him in reality.

“Shit, everyone is probably waiting for us and thinking we are horrible and irresponsible,” Hyungwon muttered with wide eyes, smile fading to make room for realization, arms limply around Hoseok and stroking over his scratched back. “ _You_ are irresponsible.” The accusation painted a smile on his lips. How did he even live before he had met the person in his arms? He didn’t know. He was irresponsible and he was so deeply in love that nothing made sense and everything he did just led to the realization that Hyungwon was, indeed, the best thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
“Doesn’t matter how fabulous you looked wearing that black suit, you lying naked in my arms is the best style on you Won.” He chuckled and placed a kiss on the slightly sweaty forehead. The lawyer rolled his eyes and attempted to stand up, almost faceplanting with his non-existent balance after sex.

“You are not only irresponsible but also a pervert. Why do I even love you?” he asked dramatically but the smile on his lips betrayed him, fumbling through the clothes and throwing Hoseok’s shirt and suit pants at him. “Get dressed, they’re probably waiting for us. Fuck, and I’ll have to go out there, blushing like an idiot because you can’t hide anything. Your face is going to scream ‘I just had sex’ no matter what.”  
  
Hoseok jumped into his clothes as if he did it on a daily basis, buttoning up and walking towards the fully clothed man in front of him.  
  
“Not if they don’t see the difference.” He grabbed Hyungwon’s back and legs, lifting him up in the same position as before. Placing a soft, hot kiss on those addicting lips he unlocked the door and walked through the hall towards the exit. The lawyer held onto him and just buried his face in his shoulder, giving up on fighting back in addition to showing his face to the people that had gathered to see them on the happiest day of their lives.

“Did you do his bow tie, Hoseok?” Minhyuk asked as soon as they were back in the hall, usual smirk in place and leaning against one of the decorated pillars, one arm around Changkyun as he inhaled a cake-pop. Music was playing and most of the guests were occupied with digging into the food or discussing at the tables.  
  
Did he? No idea.  
  
“I don’t know, I was busy looking at Hyungwon.” He said the truth and let his husband’s feet hit the ground. “Why?”

The white haired man just grinned as he inserted another cake-pop into his mouth. Hyungwon groaned and attempted to hide in Hoseok’s embrace.

“I swear if anybody took pictures of this I am going to start the next chainsaw massacre,” the lawyer muttered and grabbed the cocktail from Changkyun’s hand, gulping it down himself. “They better have strawberry ice cream.”  
  
-  
  
It was a little tiring, sitting at the table and listening to all those people eat. Minhyuk’s amazing speech half an hour ago had cracked him up so hard that his stomach hurt and he had tears flowing down his cheeks. Hyungwon’s best man was indeed a special fella and he liked him, he really did. The amount of people congratulating them increased and his cheeks already hurt from all the smiling that was not directed at Hyungwon. He wanted to smile only at him. Forever.  
  
His best man stood up, lifting his champagner glass, looking so sophisticated in his black suit and styled up hair, very different from the sight Hoseok had at home. Changkyun had normally been lying on their couch in his sweatpants, huge wool socks and a gin tonic, but it was their wedding and he really suited up for the occasion.  
  
“Everything started with Bunny’s inability to control his inhibitions,” he started and Hoseok already wanted to choke him or assassinate him with a fucking fish knife.  
  
_They aren’t even sharp Hoseok, you’d need to break a glass_  
  
“And Won’s sassy mouth, unable to communicate like a decent person.” Well that on the other hand was incredibly funny and Hoseok chuckled glancing at Hyungwon shortly, who rolled his eyes.  
  
“Either way, if they would’ve kept it to themselves I wouldn’t have suffered all this time, being a free relationship advisor.” The short man took a sip of the alcohol before he continued. “But on the other hand, those two are the most important people to me. People I love and cherish so much that every tear each of them cried multiplied in me and I drowned in sadness. Won, Hoseok, I am so fucking happy that you managed. That you managed to realize that you are precious and unique, beautiful and smart, loving and caring, willing to do everything for each other, the respective other’s best trait. That it’s so important to talk, to understand and to listen. You two are honestly the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen in my life. Please be happy.” When he finished tears were running down his cheeks. Hoseok looked at him and cried too, suddenly remembering all the pain and useless misunderstandings they had been through, making them what they were now.  
  
He turned around to face the beautiful man next to him who was equally crying, holding a hand over his mouth until he looked at Hoseok and let it fall to his lap. It was mesmerizing, it really was, tears were running down slowly like painted with pearl colours on some realistic picture from the 18th century. Hoseok stroked the soft cheek tenderly, swallowing his own tears and overwhelmed by the amount of emotions fighting inside his mind.  
  
He felt so thankful. He loved and he felt loved. He felt blessed for the possibility to be together with the man of his dreams, although not in a romantic way. Hyungwon hadn’t been the man of his dreams from the start, but he had witnessed the way the brown-haired, tall man had become the epitome of everything Hoseok needed to live a happy life and he was so overwhelmingly thankful for everything that had happened to them, for their amazing friends, for the problems they had to go through together and most of all for Hyungwon. For the ‘yes’ in front of their parents and friends, for the fact that he decided to be his husband.

He was thankful.  
  
And he was happy.

 


End file.
